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  • #1010

    She was squatting on the sand beach, near the now calm ocean. The light was so dim that she barely could see the devastation, shards of coconut and palm trees spread on the shore, but the sound of the ocean was soothing.

    Aaah she had hold that pee for too long.

    “MAaaAVIS!” That suave authoritative voice must have been Sha’s.
    “COooOMING!” Tsk. One can’t have a pee alone…

    While she was readjusting her two pieces bath suit, ready to come back to the improvised discotheque, her attention was caught by something on the beach. A fire?
    She squinted her little beady eyes to discard any of the hallucinatory visions that sometimes she had.

    “MA-VIS!”
    BLODDY COMIN’!” a hint of exasperation. “Mrs Sharon Stone, you ain’t the queen here” she thought. “I can go look for adventure meself, if I want to”.
    Besides, the fire didn’t seem to be too far away.

    :fleuron:

    With the darkness that made very difficult their progress, Akita had made them stop near the shore, where they would see any trouble coming and had ordered the small troop to collect twigs and bits of wood to light a fire.
    The parents were still in a bit of a shock, and were staying with a blank gaze, looking with an air of wildness at the soothing sound of the waves. Anita was playing nearby, drawing things in the sand, muttering words to herself.
    That was a good thing that Claude was there. Unlike the others, he seemed quite strong, and the adventure didn’t seem to have left him short of resources.
    He had been on the island before, and had said they had to avoid the constructions, which were all owned by the same people.
    For all that mattered, Akita wanted to get to the authorities as soon as possible, but he had to compromise: they would settle close enough to have a check around and see if it would be safe to go there.

    In a minute, Claude had been roaming through the woods and had gathered a pile of wood. That guy was pretty amazing, Akita was thinking. Odd that he had retained his supernatural strength… At least, Akita had imagined that the guy’s strength was the result of the spider exposure, but now he started to doubt it. He had been sketchy to say the least around the circumstances of his presence.
    As far as he himself was concerned, Akita wished he had retained somewhere his connection to Kay, wherever his spirit dog was. What the creature had said? That veils were thicker, but not impermeable… Or something around that.

    I think they’re still hanging around

    What? What did you say? But Anita didn’t answer. Perhaps his tired mind was imagining things.

    With all that rain soaked wood, it would be difficult to get anything but smoke.

    I’ve got a lighter Claude handed him an expensive ziraf that flashed moon reflection in his eyes.

    Let’s get started then.

    :fleuron:

    What now?

    A roaring sound of a flying thing startled Mavis, passing over her head.

    Mmm… this island’s getting too crowded, me think. Must be another of Vessie’s guests… That gal sure’s got how to use her sex-apple.”

    #970

    When Veranassessee entered the room, looking for the guests, she was startled to discover the awful mess.

    At first, she thought the cyclone Ycart may have been doing the wreckage, but soon she found out that no wall was gone, so it was obviously coming from inside the facility.

    What the…

    The super-calculator computer had been torn apart, and the electronic insides spread out everywhere.
    The Confregration would be furious that all was left of their precious asset they entrusted the mad (mmm, mentally challenged) doctor to carry out his insane (err… unusual) experiments was a big pile of unworkable chunks.
    She was thinking of how she could cover up that mess… given that the doctor was still probably reeling in frilly suspenders and silky dresses, she had time to clean up a bit. The Doc would probably won’t notice a difference, as megalomaniac as he was, he wouldn’t admit that a great part of his strides in his researches on spider genome were coming from the super-calculator…
    That nose of a b… nurse Bellamy was probably cleaning up his drool, so she might have enough time to act.

    Pushing aside a few coconuts, Veranassessee backed away suddenly…

    A trail of purple blood now?

    #889

    Wow that had been bizarre! Veranassessee stood at the bathroom basin and splashed icy cold, reviving water on her face. She knew she’d had sex with Agent Gabriele … however the experience had a slightly surreal quality, not unlike a dream, details slipping elusively away from her as she tried to grasp hold of them. She giggled nervously as she dried her face with a towel. Did she really want to remember? She had just passed Agent Gabriele in the corridor and he had winked at her, saying he couldn’t wait to try the ‘reverse cleaning maid ‘ again. A sudden image came to mind and she saw her skin darken in the mirror as a hot wave of embarrassment flooded her. Good Grief! She thought guiltily of Mahiliki. She hoped the other island had not been too badly affected by cyclone Ycart, so far it seemed Tifikijoo had come off quite lightly.

    Veranassessee had already checked on the guests, Jose Maria and Paquita were still in their room, Mavis was huddled under her bedding and informed her in a muffled voice that Sha and Glor had gone looking for her.

    :fleuron:

    Well she’s not in her bloody room so where is she eh? Gloria and Sha were on the warpath, determined to get some answers from Veranassessee.

    ‘Ere, Sha! Bloody hell! Glor shook her head in disbelief.

    What’s up Glor?

    Bloody magpies … there are bloody magpies in ‘ere!

    What! Nasty little buggers those magpies. Poke yer bloody eyes out if yer aint careful.

    ‘Ere what they up to eh? Bloody hopping all over that whats-a-ma-callit-doo-dacky machine.

    They’ll be going for the shiny bits I reckon. They do that those magpies. ‘Ere we’d better stop them, might never get our bloody beauty treatments if they bugger that machine up.

    #853

    Leah picked her way carefully across the living room, stepping over the sprawled limbs of sleeping guests. The party last night had been a wild one, and overflowing ashtrays and empty bottles littered the room, not to mention a rag taggle assortment of snoring bodies. Leah picked up her laptop and made her way to the kitchen. She rubbed her eyes and yawned as the kettle boiled, and checked her emails.

    L.E. Muir
    R. Abbott &Co

    Choosing to deal with work correspondence after a few cups of coffee, Leah clicked on the next one.

    Luce Mong
    c/o Leah Muir

    Hhmm, it’s from Becky Vane Wrick. I wonder who that is? I wonder if it’s that gal we met in Long Pong last year?

    #845

    She put down the plate of honeycomb and turned round slowly, her calm exterior belying the fear which had suddenly gripped her insides.

    He had called her Agent V!

    She had to stay calm, think quickly.

    And why is that, Jarvis?

    Jarvis, what did she know about him? He had been employed by Dr Bronkelhampton, although Veranassessee had resisted the idea vigorously. The fewer people on the island the better as far as she was concerned. But the doctor had insisted he needed someone to tend the gardens, and in the end she had decided it wasn’t worth making an issue of.

    I think I might be able to answer that question. Agent Gabriele entered the kitchen. His sudden presence had almost as disconcerting effect on Veranassessee as the revelation that Jarvis knew her identity.

    A little sideline of our beloved Doctor is to experiment with honeybee mutations. Isn’t that right, Jarvis? And in the process he has discovered a way to alter the chemical composition of the honeycomb. It looks and tastes like honey, but too much of it is deadly.

    Veranassessee turned to Jarvis. You knew this Jarvis …. but then why leave it in the fridge … and why warn me?

    Wasn’t me left it in the fridge. I saw it there earlier. I figured the Doctor left it there. Buggered if I know why. He’s an odd one that one. Getting odder by the minute too.

    A loud clattering outside and they all turned.

    Winds getting up quickly, said Agent Gabriele in clipped tones. Secure the hives Jarvis. God knows we don’t need mutated bees on the loose. V tell the guests to stay in their rooms and away from the windows, and then meet me in my room. I’ll deal with the Doctor.

    :fleuron:

    Bloody windy here aint it. Thought I was coming to a bloody tropical paradise! Mavis was looking outside anxiously.

    Oh this aint typical. The weathers been grand. We’ve been out bloody sun baking most days.

    Oh we have! The sun and airs got special beauty qualities here. That Vessie told us that. Encourages us to get out and about.

    Ere I know what will cheer you up. Lets get a snack from the kitchen. There’s some special ureu beauty biscuits in the pantry, and the chocolate brownies are bloody delicious. Who’d have thought chocolate had special beauty qualities eh. She’s a genius that Vassie. Oh I tell you what, I found some lovely honeycomb in the fridge this morning! Sharon licked her lips in anticipation.

    Oh I’m bloody drooling here, Sha! You’re a bloody genius you are

    #1782

    In reply to: Synchronicity

    ÉricÉric
    Keymaster

      Ahaha, that’s funny, and apparently, even if it seems a bit spiced up by the journalists, the blackholes information doesn’t seem to be a hoax. There is even a map of the occurrences of unreachable addresses called Hubble…

      The disappearing guests :ghost: :mummy2:
      :yahoo_raised_eyebrow: :yahoo_oh_go_on:

      #1779

      In reply to: Synchronicity

      F LoveF Love
      Participant

        oh great … this page is nice
        hmm it does not link to individual pages … i was looking at the hug page 12-13 (that is a sort of a half synch with the next bit of this comment too)

        I was starting to write out my “Goodly King Goodle” story/poem and suddenly felt it was a bit difficult. Just as i was about to close the programme, i saw on the left column “document recovered at 1:23 pm on 11 April”. This is my “easy” number .. not so much easy even but a reminder to shift energy within myself and be hopeful and have positive expectations.

        I read this yesterday about emails disappearing into blackholes

        I thought how my parcel has apparently disappeared and NOW …. MY GUESTS HAVE DISAPPEARED!!!

        yes the two men who turned up on friday in the black porsche who were supposed to check out this morning have disappeared, it is now 4:40pm, leaving their car and valuables behind. No reply on mobile (which by the way last 3 numbers are 123)
        :yahoo_worried:

        well on the brighter side … went to garden cafe today. Not table 12 but table 5 today, 12 was next door table. Also i checked out the yellow fish from last time , they were lemonhead orandas and cost $57.99 :fish: :fish: :fruit_lemon: and i swear they remembered me.

        #1775

        In reply to: Synchronicity

        F LoveF Love
        Participant

          Synching with T’s post about Rosie, my massage angel (well her name is Sarah really) started telling me about her puppy called Rosie yesterday, (11th April) Just noticed this was comment 257.
          :yahoo_rose: :yahoo_big_hug:

          Cafe with friends a short while ago – was given table number 12 again!

          :yahoo_big_hug:

          dreamt about a sort of portal thing last night – i would say it was a muddled mixture of a church and a cave and even a tree, it was hard to know what it was, but the person I was with was dressed in church robes, and we went up high into it till we nearly got to the top. This sort of syncs a bit with Eric’s comment I thought.

          55 – guests invoice 255, and their black porsche convertible :yahoo_rolling_eyes: number plate 355.

          only yellow synch i can think of, as I was walking across the park with my friends, the baby started pointing and making noises at a bright yellow plastic bag lying in the grass … apparently (and here I am going off what her mother said as I have no idea) she wanted us to pick it up and put it in the bin. ahahahahahha yeah bugger the freakin yellow !

          The other day i spent some time googling for a particular model of coffee maker (which appears to be out of stock) … some guests had broken it and wanted to replace it. It was Breville ECM2. Then the next day as I was randomly reading things I linked onto an EFT site. It was talking about Energy and mass (and stuff) and Einstein and E=MC2 (don’t know how to do a little 2). Later I mentioned it to Eric and he found an Einstein synch. Just now I went over to a news site to look for a goat story for T, and the first thing on the page was an advertsing banner for Mariah Carey’s new album, E=MC² . Absolutely no idea of any significance to this synch however it felt sort of illuminated so I am sharing it. Now I will go and look for the goat story again.

          Goat Story on the news last night

          #818

          Veranassessee was not in a happy mood.

          The sight earlier in the day of Dr Bronkelhampton wearing his yellow wig, a bright pink dress which was several sizes too large for him, and carrying a chinese porcelain doll had disturbed her profoundly. She sighed, remembering how he had glared at her suspiciously and muttered to the doll he was holding in front of him as though it were some sort of a shield.

          He has totally lost it, but what to do?

          She had also spent much of the morning trying to avoid Sha and Glor. The pair seemed rather distressed about something … a missing dress was it? Veranassessee shook her head in annoyance. Good grief! She had neither the time nor the patience to deal with another of their foolish and pitiful concerns.

          Perhaps I should tell those stupid nincompoops that to get hit on the head with a coconut is another special beauty treatment.

          To top it off, Agent Gabriel kept slipping into her thoughts in a most disconcerting and bothersome manner. And where the hell is he anyway? she thought miserably, cringing at the memory of their last encounter. Avoiding me, no doubt.

          Bugger! she swore, suddenly remembering the arrival of the new guests and feeling a growing sense of foreboding.

          :fleuron:

          Twenty minutes later the disturbing vision of a fat woman in a tiny pink bikini waving at her gleefully did nothing to dispel her concerns.

          #1749

          In reply to: Synchronicity

          F LoveF Love
          Participant

            Last night the guests asked where Lucknow Crescent was as they had friends to visit. I had heard of it, but being really bad with directions just gave them a map.

            Today, walking home from the supermarket I started thinking about synchs. At that moment some workmen in a truck pulled up and asked me if I knew where Lucknow Crescent was.

            Thinking about this synch … a couple of things struck me … the name is interesting and also that I did not know where it was.

            (just as i wrote that i noticed a monarch butterfly out of the corner of my eye fly in front of the window, the association here for me is a quote from Abraham I like about the meaning of butterfly signs .. or synchs )

            As a sort of symbolic thing, i am going to find out were Lucknow Crescent is. As soon as I went to look it up i suddenly remembered where it was.

            #2011

            In reply to: Scrying the Word Cloud

            ÉricÉric
            Keymaster

              egg times away heard
              articles himself matter
              phone russia warm
              sanso information watch
              remember bring later yourself
              dragon guests keep book

              #1719

              In reply to: Synchronicity

              F LoveF Love
              Participant

                I have just said goodbye to my italian guests and there was another funny synch I kept meaning to tell you, Gaby’s husbands name is Georges. oh it is 8:53

                Yesterday in the newspaper was a section on crime writers. There was a very funny synch regarding Quentin, agents, italians and angels. If I can find the newspaper I especially purchased, I will post it later.

                #746

                My God, what the fuck is that?

                Veranassessee sighed, seeing the two plump lady on top of one another, lying sprawled all fours on the ground, with the door blown out in shards.

                Untie me Gabriele, so that I can ask for the nurse’s help. she said reluctantly to her partner, seeing with a bit of dolefulness, the effect of their strange erotic games already waning off.

                — Are you alright ladies?
                — Oh, I guess so, Vessie, sorry to have interrupted, we thought…
                — Yes, yes… Veranassessee was feeling oddly detached from the women’s babbled and muddled excuses, and even more detached from her own sloppy appearance.
                All she could think at the moment was that she seemed fated to marry Mahiliki, and get loads of children on Fukitupi, a doom that hovered on her head like a rapacious magpie over a precious gemstone…
                Good thing she was so gorgeous she would look great even wearing a potatoes sack. Sure Gabriele had noticed that already…

                Arch-Agent Gabriele came back, telling her he had called nurse Bellamy on the intercom, and she would be here in a minute.
                I’ll go to my room dear, we’ll talk later about Barbella. he said casually, a convenient code for “plan B” between them two.
                Professional as he was, he had also, V’ass noticed, as the women were untangling themselves, made the box and the silky rope very stealthily disappear.

                Sure, they would have more time in the evening. But now, she noticed she’d been a bit too lax on the security around the new guests. Fine that Dr Bronkelhampton’s recommendations were to have the patients free for the first months of their treatments (after all, the more drastic transformations never occurred before the thirteenth week), but she had to be more careful about them.
                She could not have them compromise “plan B”.

                B as Barbella… or rather…
                B as Bee-hive.

                :fleuron:

                — Did you hear like me, Glo?
                — I think so, Sha
                — What’s that Barbiella, Glo?
                — Barbella, Sha, barbella, like barbell… Could be a woman’s name…
                — Poor Vessie seemed so annoyed by the incident…
                — Yes Sha, we have to help her somewhat, if we want her to forgive us
                — Sure, we’ll find something to do, Glo.
                — Yes… I don’t like that Barbella. Perhaps it’s the man’s…
                Gabriele
                — Yes, Sha, Gabriele —does sound Italian, doesn’t it?
                — I was about to tell you Glo
                — Perhaps that’s Gabriele’s wife…
                — Or some kinky sadomasochistic practice we never heard of…
                — Rhooo, Sha, chuckled Gloria, who was thinking of Veranassessee’s dress and wrists tying games…

                #732

                Elvira and Boris were knee deep in mushrooms when the strangers appeared asking for food. Visitors were few and far between at the isolated old wooden house, but it was with mixed feelings that Elvira greeted them. It would be wonderful to have a little conversation, some news of the outside world, but this was the busiest time of the year and she hardly had a moment to spare as it was.

                However, she greeted them amiably enough, and invited them inside. Come in, come in, come in! she said, Would you like a cuppa? Are you hungry? There’s some reindeer stew left over from last night.

                Zhana’s stomach growled loudly in response. Would I ever! I am STARVING! Zhana beamed a smile at Elvira.

                Well, sit yourselves down then, if you can find a chair that’s not covered in mushrooms.

                Elvira suddenly had an idea.

                Are you two in a hurry? Would you stay a few days and help with the mushroom packing?

                Zhana looked at Sanso, who nodded. A few days with plenty to eat before their long journey, and a few provisions to take along with them would be perfect.

                Of course we will, we’d be delighted to stay and help, Zhana said to the old lady.

                Splendid! Boris will be so pleased! I’m a great cook, you know, if I do say so myself. As much food as you can eat in return, eh? How does that sound? Elvira smiled at her guests. My, my, girl, what a wonderful complexion you have! she said, peering at Zhana. Like a summer peach!

                Zhana blushed happily, and Sanso beamed.

                #727

                The cave was silent, except for the sounds of water springing from one of the wall.
                The night was long and full of dreams. Georges and Salome were here since a few weeks now, and the were spending a lot of time with Malvina, talking about many things from different places that Irtak had never heard of. One was called New York City, another was called Vienna, another was the Smoo Cave and there were so many more… Malvina seemed to know most of them. That was the first time he ever wondered how old she could be. Since his arrival here, it had never come to his mind that she could be “old”. He knew she was wiser than most of the Elders, but she seemed so young.

                She had magic. Maybe that was the key to her youth.

                He felt Heckle and Jeckle stretching their attention in their dream state. Their bodies were lying together on the warm sandy floor, and their light bodies were playing around. He could see them flickering in and out of the room. He could follow them if he wanted, but his mind was full of the places their guests had described.

                :fleuron:

                Georges and Salome were lying on an improvised bed, made of a snoot fur on the warm sandy floor. He was holding her tenderly. Their energy gently merged in a single movement. They were fully opened to one another and Salome was creating an inner landscape for them both to play in. Sam’s body was lying nearby, and her spirit was frolicking around in this inner landscape.

                They were sitting in the center of a clearing, at night time. The sky was full of stars and Georges did recognized the sky of the Murtuane. An owl was hooting not far away, sated after her hunt. They could feel her contentment, the hunt was good, several big mice tonight…

                Malvina was with them, and appreciating of the environment. She had had few occasions of going to the Murtuane herself. Even though she was so close, living on the Duane, its planetary sister.

                Where are we exactly? asked Malvina.
                Not so far away from the purple beach of Kandulim where Jarvis once came. Jarvis is a focus of Georges. And he surprised me once… Salome recalled that event with amusement.
                Georges grinned widely and chuckled.
                Yes, I can remember.

                Malvina sighed with relief.
                You are aware that my sisters are coming soon to the cave.
                Yes, we could feel the calling, so to speak. This is the crossroad of many probabilities, and it is connected to many, though not as spread as the shift in “our” dimension is or was, depending on when you project your attention.
                It was Malvina’s turn to grin now.
                Yes, I am aware. It will be soon time for us to move the cave into another location.

                SPOTCH

                OH! THAT’S WHERE YOU THREE HAVE BEEN ALL THIS TIME? INTERESTING ARRANGEMENT OF YOUR PSYCHE. THOUGH I PREFER MY CAVE.

                SPOOTCH

                Sam got on her legs and barked, quite surprised by this sudden blinking in and out of the dragon.

                HAHAHA, we didn’t even have the time to seem surprised. said Georges. Lëormn was quick. And he likes being in himself.

                Salome got on her feet and stroked Sam playfully. The dog was licking her face with affection, and stopped suddenly. She seemed to have heard something.

                The owl hooted again.

                My sisters are closer than what I first thought. This owl is an aspect of Oorlaith. Malvina’s gaze became distant for a few seconds. She won’t come tonight with us, though she gives you her fond appreciation. She’s currently busy with a man you already know… Leonard. Another one like yourself :)
                Salome raised one eyebrow.
                Leonard his here too? That’s an interesting information :) things won’t be dull with him if I dare say so. ;))
                I think he’s got a crush on her. He’s doing some stuffs for her at times… and he’s still with his dog.
                Sam barked a few times, waggling her tail and Georges grinned.
                You remember Moufle, eh!? Well, do you know where you’re going Malvina?

                She looked at him intensely and then at Salome.
                You might be surprised.

                #725
                TracyTracy
                Participant

                  After a long but uneventful ride in the yellow gondola cab, Becky stepped out onto terra firma and strolled through the park.

                  Various fleeting images of the wedding party flashed through her mind, and she recalled the change in Elvira after the meal. She certainly tucked into that reindeer stew, Becky mused, Had a right good scoff, she did. Funny, anyone eating four helpings of that slop would be expected to slump in a chair for an hour or two, but Elvira had sprung into life. She looked pretty good for 121 years old, but who would have guessed what a splendid dancer she was! She put the younger guests to shame with her fancy steps, and tireless enthusiasm.

                  And not only that, she’d really come into her own when the drunken fights started, fearlessly breaking up fights between men twice her size.

                  #720

                  As the bride and groom were exchanging the rings, Al was brought back a few weeks earlier, when Becky had announced the little group she and Sean would get married. The initial excitement gone, Tina, Sam and Al had been given the honor to organize that very special day, while Becky surely wouldn’t care to be bothered by such petty things.

                  I think she’s already getting that distinguished snobbish style of the Wricks muttered Tina who was not so fond of being handed down these kinds of unprompted crottes.
                  Al, who was probably thinking as much managed a Don’t be so hard on her, that’ll be a mighty fine wedding, after all, marrying a Wrick has its advantages, we don’t have to be measly on the expenditures
                  Sam, a bit lost in circles, had acknowledged.

                  Well, that had been fun after all, at least Al was thinking, he had not needed to deal with Becky’s own mood fluctuations. As the only Sumafi of the group, he had willingly taken care of the list of the guests, and all the catering orders, while Tina was taking care of the decoration (bride included), and Sam was arranging for the organization and rental of the places and hotels for the wedding and its slew of guests.

                  Of course, as intimate Becky had first required the wedding to be, she had soon changed her mind, and had not resisted long the temptation to gather lots of people she had almost forgotten over the years.
                  Al could almost see clear as day — now the weather had brighten up a bit — in his mind his notepad full of Becky’s recommendations:

                  Becky’s family and friends
                  Sam, Tina & Al (of course)
                  Sabine Baina (mother) and Patel Mahapushtra, her new husband (a child’s toys mogul)
                  Dan (father) and Dory (step-mother; might fear a trip to New Venice, you’ll have to use some extra coaxing with her)

                  [long list of friends, snipped for reader’s comfort]

                  Sean’s family and friends
                  (mother deceased, father unwilling to come, pretexting his rheumatisms and not being able travel so far, but most likely unwilling to see Sean)
                  Sean’s children, Perry and Guiny
                  (aunt and cousin, Deirdre and Dorean Wrick) — Al’s update: they have unexpected guests coming back from Russia at their home, wonder if they could come? Becky: Sure!… Mmmm, Russia you said?

                  Now, finding some great gift for someone as easily distracted as Becky, and as spoiled as Sean was another ball of wax…

                  #718
                  ÉricÉric
                  Keymaster

                    The rain started to pour down… Becky moaned and winced at each of the thunder strokes.

                    Don’t worry, as they say in the bayou, “mariage pluvieux, mariage heureux”. (rainy wedding, merry marriage) Al said with a wink.
                    Anyway, should be over for the vin d’honneur, he added hastily, hoping that the circus tent that was set up would be big enough to accommodate all the guests in case he’d be wrong…

                    He didn’t even want to imagine what the Russian fluorescent bacon they had planned to serve for the toasts would look like drenched in rain…

                    #715

                    Several days later, when the wedding celebrations had finished, nobody could remember anything about it, other than the jokes and poems. In true Russian custom, there had been ample alcohol…well, more than ample, there had been several hospital admissions from alcohol poisoning, drunken brawls and accidents.

                    Becky swallowed another aspirin, recalling one of the jokes that Sam had told.

                    As a Lord Wrick was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang.

                    Sam continued: Answering, he heard the mummy’s voice urgently warning him, “Wrick, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on the M4. Please be careful!”

                    “It’s not just one car,” said Wrick, “It’s hundreds of them!”

                    Sheesh, sighed Becky.

                    As she poured herself another mug of coffee, a limerick popped into to her head.

                    There was an Old Crone with a beard,
                    Who said, ‘It is just as I feared!
                    Two Owls and a Lynx,
                    And a Rabbit in Pink,
                    Have all built their nests in my beard!’

                    Who had told that one, was it Sean? Becky smiled wanly as another one popped into her head.

                    There was an Old Abbot whose habits,
                    Induced him to feed upon rabbits;
                    When he’d eaten eighteen,
                    He turned perfectly green,
                    Upon which he relinquished those habits.

                    The toast popped up, and as Becky buttered it she remembered a joke of Al’s.

                    Most dentists chairs go up and down, don’t they? Al asked the wedding guests.
                    The one I was in went back and forwards.
                    I thought, “This is unusual.”
                    The dentist said to me, “Al, get out of the filing cabinet.”

                    #1898
                    TracyTracy
                    Participant

                      tjmarshall57: hahahaha as if it’s not bad enough with the weeding, now poor girl has blotches all over her face!
                      tjmarshall57: wedding not weeding
                      tjmarshall57: do russian wear velis?
                      tjmarshall57: veils
                      tjmarshall57: hhhm, blessing by a shaman, plaiting together of the couples hair….(is Becky still blad?)
                      tjmarshall57: The biggest concern at the wedding is to have enough liquor. A Russian Wedding is an event where everybody must be drunk. No one will be surprised if people drink themselves to unconscious on the wedding – and many do.
                      tjmarshall57: well, that will appeal to Sean
                      tjmarshall57: You are probably surprised to find out that a Russian wedding lasts for 2 days!! (Well, at least. Some weddings last as long as a week, and this is something to be proud of and remember for years: it means the couple had enough liquor to go on and on, and enough devoted friends to stay.)
                      tjmarshall57: The Russian church ceremony is colorful and solemn but the complete traditional ceremony is very long, and as guests and the couple have to stand during the ceremony (there are no benches in Russian churches at all; people must stand during all church services), faints are not rare.
                      tjmarshall57: right, so a fair amount of fainting and drunkeness then
                      tjmarshall57: Then the witnesses continue running the wedding, reading jokes and poems, and sometimes asking the new couple questions to make fun of them.
                      tjmarshall57: Franci will you be my witness, you’d be perfect
                      tjmarshall57: “Za molodykh!” (“For the newlywed!”)
                      tjmarshall57: Traditionally money is considered as the best gift, and is given in an envelope. Some time after the beginning of the reception when people start to become drunk the witnesses will ask everybody to give their gifts and one of the witnesses will collect envelopes from the rest of the guests with a tray.
                      tjmarshall57: Then people have time to dance. First dance is opened by the new couple. After the music starts, there is no exact script anymore, and witnesses can relax a little. They still occasionally announce a toast but do not entertain the guests with jokes and poems; guests by this time are already having lots of fun and are able to entertain themselves.

                      Movements become quite hectic; some people go out “to refresh”, and at some moment in this movement the bride gets… “stolen”! She disappears, and when the groom starts looking for her, he is faced with a request for a ransom. Usually it’s his buddies who “steal” the bride. A more or less short wrangle about the amount, and he can have his new wife back. But he must watch out – the bride sometimes may be stolen a few times!

                      tjmarshall57: right, so we have drunkeness, fainting, jokes, poems and insults, and theft and abduction
                      tjmarshall57: Then there are the bride’s friends – they steal the bride’s shoe. The groom must pay ransom for the shoe too – the guests enjoy watching wrangles.
                      tjmarshall57: Often guests leave the wedding in such a condition that they cannot remember what happened. If this was the case with the majority of guests, then the wedding was a huge success
                      tjmarshall57: AHA! This is the key! I will write about it after the wedding, when nobody can remeber anything about it
                      tjmarshall57: Day two of the wedding:After the meal the bride must “clean” the floor in the room. The fun part is that guests are allowed to mess as much as they want while she is cleaning
                      tjmarshall57:
                      tjmarshall57: another part for you!
                      tjmarshall57: guests on a Russian wedding enjoy it much more than the newlywed couple who are all the time made fools of.
                      tjmarshall57: The most popular period for wedding ceremonies in Russia was between the Christmas and Shrovetide (a week before the spring fast). This period was called the wedding period.
                      tjmarshall57: well, the timing is right
                      tjmarshall57: One of the many superstitions still prevailing among the peasant population of Russia is that, on the occasion of a marriage, the happiness of the newly-married couple is not assured unless the parents of the contracting parties are soaked with water from head to foot. When a marriage takes place in summer this is easily accomplished by ducking the fathers and mothers in the nearest river, but in winter they are laid on the ground and rolled in the snow.
                      tjmarshall57: who are the parents?
                      tjmarshall57: Among the Koraks of Siberia a young man seeks for a maiden with considerable dowry in the form of rein-deer
                      tjmarshall57: oh, well we can have psychoactive reindeer pies, anyway
                      tjmarshall57: Kovalevsky has well shown that many of the marriage customs of this country are survivals from a primitive and prehistoric age when the woman ruled the household and had more than one husband.
                      tjmarshall57: hhmmmm
                      tjmarshall57: it all points to a distant age when the matriarchal system prevailed, and the brother was his sister’s guardian. In Little Russia the brother’s sword is decked with the red berries of the rowan tree, red being the emblem of maidenhood.
                      tjmarshall57: red fruit sync!
                      tjmarshall57: no wonder I threw the cherries away!
                      tjmarshall57: ahahahahha!
                      franci_free: oh hrllo
                      franci_free: goodness
                      franci_free: will need to read back
                      tjmarshall57: hahahah oh there you are
                      franci_free: well what a complicated theme
                      tjmarshall57: haahah well
                      franci_free: you will have to write about the wedding
                      tjmarshall57: the key to the whole thing is that everyone was so drunk that nobody can remeber any of it aftrwards
                      franci_free: hahahah
                      franci_free: great!
                      tjmarshall57: thats my angle, I think
                      franci_free:
                      tjmarshall57: and s few things fit perfectly
                      tjmarshall57: the red fruit
                      tjmarshall57: the time of year
                      tjmarshall57: the drunkeness, Sean will love that
                      franci_free: the splotches?
                      tjmarshall57: well, nobody will remeber that
                      tjmarshall57: afterwards

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