Austreberthe

Austreberthe (The Washerwoman / The Purifier)

• Status: Recently Deceased (New Year’s Eve).

• Saintly Origin: Based on St. Austreberthe of Pavilly. Famous for the “Miracle of the Wolf”—when a wolf killed the donkey carrying her laundry, she scolded the wolf and forced it to carry the laundry sacks instead.

• The Memory: She was the smell of lavender and harsh bleach. While the others let dust settle, she waged an eternal, losing war against the grime of centuries. She was pale, wrinkled like a finger left in water too long, and terrifyingly strict about coasters.

• The Mania: Purity & Absolution.

  • She believed that if she scrubbed hard enough, she could wash away sins. Over time, this devolved into a compulsive need to clean objects before hoarding them.

• The Hoard: “The Sanitary Sanctum.”

  • Her wing is a white-tiled labyrinth of cleaning products. Pyramids of soap bars from the Victorian era (now fossilized), vats of vinegar, thousands of stolen hotel towels (never used, only stacked), and an army of washing machines from every decade, all unconnected and silent. The floor is slippery with spilled detergents.

  • The Secret Stash: In the center of her room, curled up on a pile of pristine linen sheets, is “Gros Loup.” It is a gigantic, mangy, taxidermy wolf. It wears a nun’s rosary as a collar. It was her original laundry-carrying wolf. Before she died, she swore she could still hear it growl at dust bunnies.