Reply To: The Incense of the Quadrivium’s Mystiques
The year 480 AD. It was there hovering in her mind the moment she woke up the morning after Eris had mentioned the DNA spell idea. 480 AD. But why? And it seemed strangely familiar, as if she’d dreamed of that date before. Mumbling the date over and over, Truella pushed the bed covers back, noted the welcome slight chill of the October morning, and made her way blindly to the kitchen to make coffee. 480 AD. Why, though?
Eris’s change of tune yesterday about the paperwork had given her a slight inward chuckle, but it was a good sign. And Eris had been right: Truella did like the DNA idea. At first she’d wondered if she would find something containing DNA. Then she reminded herself that she herself contained DNA available to use. But what was the year 480 AD to do with it?
Taking her steaming mug of coffee outside, Truella sat down under the porch and lit a cigarette. Too late for Romans but then what was next after Romans? It would have made more sense if it was 1480 AD, when Cromwell was born.
Oh, but what an idea! Yes! The DNA of Cromwell! She was reminded of the pieces of Hannibals tunic, and the efficacy of that spell. If they could find a bit of that old tunic, they could surely time travel back to gather some DNA from old Thomas. Truella giggled, imagining herself appearing in Cromwell’s chamber, armed with a cotton swab. “If you please, my Lord, open wide, this will only take a moment.”
He would rub his eyes, wondering if the fever had returned. What was this unseemly wench doing in here, bearing an uncanny resemblance to Lizzie, his dead wife. “Open wide,” she would say, for all the world as if she was the one giving the orders. “My lady, if you please to explain your purpose?” he would replied calmly, rather amused at the incomprehensible interlude.
“Well if you must know, we need some of your DNA. Yes, yes, I know you don’t know what that is yet, I’ve come from the future you see, and we know a lot more. Well, that’s not strictly true or I wouldn’t be here now. We know more about some things, but other things haven’t changed much. It’s the sea of paperwork we’re drowning in. Nobody could have more paperwork than you, my Lord Cromwell, but you have a particularly efficient way of dealing with it.”
“Are you referring to the Tower and the …”
“Gosh, no! No, we don’t plan to execute anyone. We just need a bit, a tiny bit, of your DNA to use in a spell…”
Suddenly Cromwell understood who this woman was. He didn’t need to call for the man who dealt with postcards from the future: everyone knows that Cromwell never forgets any paperwork he’s ever seen. In the future they called it photographic memory, but of course it wasn’t called that in his time.
“You, my lady, are one of those witches from the future, are you not? And why, pray, would I be willing to assist with witchcraft?”
“Well, why not?” retorted Truella. “You won’t be around to be executed for heresy, you were already..” She clapped her hand to her mouth. He didn’t know about that yet, obviously.
Cromwell merely raised a sardonic eyebrow. “I don’t want to know when,” he said calmly. He knew his days were numbered.
“Now, there a number of ways we can collect a bit of your DNA, sir, any bodily fluid will do,” Truella said, and then blushed deeply. Well, why not? she asked herself, and then wondered, What if he hasn’t had a bath for six months?