Search Results for 'please'

“Would somebody please explain to me what a techromancer is, and what is he doing in my bathroom?”

A strong and loud guttural roar echoed through the mountains, ferocious and hungry.
Fox’s hairs stood on his arms and neck as a wave of panic rolled through his body. He looked at the others his eyes wide open.
Olliver teleported closer to Rukshan whose face seemed pale despite the warmth of the fire, and Lhamom’s jaw dropped open. Their eyes met and they swallowed in unison.
“Is that…” asked Fox. His voice had been so low that he wasn’t sure someone had heard him.
Rukshan nodded.

“It seems you are leaving the mountains sooner than you expected,” said Kumihimo with a jolly smile as she dismounted Ronaldo. 
She plucked her icy lyre from which loud and rich harmonics bounced. The wind carried them along and they echoed back in defiance to the Shadow.

You must remember, seemed to whisper an echo from the cave they had used for shelter for weeks. Fox dismissed it as induced by the imminent danger.


The Shadow hissed and shrieked, clearly pissed off. The dogs howled and Kumihimo engaged in a wild and powerful rhythm on her instrument.

You must remember, said the echo again.

Everobody stood and ran in chaos, except for Fox. He was getting confused, as if under a bad spell.

Someone tried to cover the fire with a blanket of wool. 
“Don’t bother, we’re leaving,” said Rukshan before rushing toward the multicolour sand mandala he had made earlier that day. Accompanied by the witche’s mad arpeggios, he began chanting. The sand glowed faintly.

Lhamom told them to jump on the hellishcopter whose carpet was slowly turning in a clockwise direction. 
“But I want to help,” said Olliver.
“You’ll help best by being ready to leave as soon as the portal opens,” said Lhamom. She didn’t wait to see if the boy followed her order and went to help Rukshan with her old magic spoon.
“Something’s wrong. I’ve already lived that part,” said Fox when the screen protecting the mandala flapped away, missing the fae’s head by a hair.
“What?” asked Olliver.
“It already happened once,” said Fox, “although I have a feeling it was a bit different. But I can’t figure out how or why.”

At that moment a crow popped out of the cave’s mouth in a loud bang. The cave seemed to rebound in and out of itself for a moment, and the dark bird cawed, very pleased. It reminded Fox at once of what had happened the previous time, the pain of discovering all his friends dead and the forest burnt to the ground by the shadow. The blindness, and the despair.
The crow cawed and Fox felt the intense powers at work and the delicate balance they were all in.

The Shadow had grown bigger and threatened to engulf the night. Fox had no idea what to do, but instead he let his instinct guide him.

“Come!” he shouted, pulling Olliver by the arm. He jumped on the hellishcopter and helped the boy climb after him.

“COME NOW!” he shouted louder.
 Rukshan and Lhamom looked at the hellishcopter and at the devouring shadow that had engulfed the night into chaos and madness.
They ran. Jumped on the carpet. Kumihimo threw an ice flute to them and Fox caught it, but this time he didn’t nod. He knew now what he had to do.


“You’ll have one note!” the shaman shouted. “One note to destroy the Shadow when you arrive!”
Kumihimo hit the hellishcopter as if it were a horse, and it bounced forward.
But Fox, aware of what would have come next, kept a tight rein on the hellishcarpet and turned to Olliver.
“Go get her! We need her on the other side.”
Despite the horror of the moment, the boy seemed pleased to be part of the action and he quickly disappeared. 
The shaman looked surprised when the boy popped in on her left and seized her arm only to bring her back on the carpet in the blink of an eye.

“By the God Frey,” she said looking at a red mark on her limb, “the boy almost carved his hand on my skin.”
“Sorry if we’re being rude,” said Fox, “but we need you on the other side. It didn’t work the first time. If you don’t believe me, ask the crow.”
The bird landed on the shaman’s shoulder and cawed. “Oh,” said Kumihimo who liked some change in the scenario. “In that case you’d better hold tight.”

They all clung to each other and she whistled loudly.
The hellishcopter bounced ahead through the portal like a wild horse, promptly followed by Ronaldo and the Shadow.

The wind stopped.
The dogs closed in on the portal and jumped to go through, but they only hit the wall of the powerful sound wave of Kumihimo’s ice lyra.
They howled in pain as the portal closed, denying them their hunt.

“Enough of all that nonsense!” exclaimed Liz, who was brimming with enthusiasm, a bit like a frothing glass of cava. “Now then, Finnley, pay attention please! I’m calling a meeting to be held this evening for ALL of our story characters. I’d like you to make sure they are all made welcome and have suitable refreshments. Yes, I know it’s short notice, but I’ll give you the key to the special pantry in the Elsespace Arrangement. Some of the characters will help you, you just need to make a start and it will all fall into place.”

Liz beamed at Finnley, who was looking aghast, and then fixed a piercing gaze on Godfrey.

“Godfrey, my good man. You know what I’m like with technical details. Your job will be to write my questions, with the relevant technical minutia. Don’t interrupt my flow with questions! Use your powers of intuition and telepathy!”

Roberto attempted to slip out of the French windows, but his yellow vest got caught on the latch.

“Not so fast, young man!” Liz had plans for the gardener. “There won’t be room inside for all the characters, so it will be a garden party. I’ll leave it to you to ensure there is plenty of outdoor furniture for people to make themselves comfortable. I’ll give you the key to the special garden shed in the Elsespace Arrangement.”

“May I ask”, Godfrey ventured, “What the meeting is to be about?”

“Indeed you may! I want input, lots of input. And ideas. The topic is Alternate Intelligence. That is a slightly better way of saying it than Artificial Intelligence, but not quite the perfect term. But we can change that later.”

familiar threads rather realised sign
moving puzzled sounded maeve
walked pleased bed warm wondering ear
others enter given trust longer present

In the white silence of the mountains, Rukshan was on his knees on a yakult wool rug pouring blue sand from a small pouch on a tricky part of the mandala that looked like a small person lifting his arms upwards. Rukshan was just in the right state of mind, peaceful and intensely focused, in the moment.
It was more instinct than intellect that guided his hands, and when he felt inside him something click, he stopped pouring the sand. He didn’t take the time to check if it was right, he trusted his guts.
He held the pouch to his right and said: “White”. Olliver took the pouch of blue and replaced it with another. Rukshan resumed pouring and white sand flew in a thin stream on the next part of the mandala.

After a few hours of the same routine, only broken by the occasional refreshments and drinks that Olliver brought him, the mandala was finished and Rukshan stood up to look at the result. He moved his shoulders to help relieve the tensions accumulated during the hard day of labor. He felt like an old man. His throat was dry with thirst but his eyes gleamed with joy at the result of hours of hard concentration.

“It’s beautiful,” said Olliver with awe in his voice.
“It is, isn’t it?” said Rukshan. He accepted a cup of warm and steaming yakult tea that Olliver handed him and looked at the boy. It was the first time that Olliver had spoken during the whole process.
“Thanks, Olli,” said Rukshan, “you’ve been very helpful the whole time. I’m a little bit ashamed to have taken your whole time like that and make you stand in the cold without rest.”
“Oh! Don’t worry,” said the boy, “I enjoyed watching you. Maybe one day you can teach me how to do this.”
Rukshan looked thoughtfully at the boy. The mandala drew its power from the fae’s nature. There could certainly be no danger in showing the technique to the boy. It could be a nice piece of art.
“Sure!” he said. “Once we are back. I promise to show you.”
A smile bloomed on Olliver’s face.

In the white silence of the mountain, Lhamom sat on a thick rug of yakult wool in front of a makeshift fireplace. She had finished packing their belongings, which were now securely loaded on the hellishcarpet, and decided it was cooking time. For that she had enrolled the young lad, Olliver, to keep her company instead of running around and disturbing Rukshan. The poor man… the poor manfae, Lhamom corrected, had such a difficult task that he needed all his concentration and peace of mind.

Lhamom stirred the content of the cauldron in a slow and regular motion. She smiled because she was also proud of her idea of a screen made of yakult wool and bamboo poles, cut from the haunted bamboo forest. It was as much to protect from the wind as it was for the fae’s privacy and peace of mind.

“It smells good,” said Olliver, looking with hungry eyes at what Lhamom was doing.
“I know,” she said with pride. “It’s a specialty I learned during the ice trek.”
“Can you teach me?” ask Olliver.
“Yes, sure.” She winked. “You need a special blend of spiced roots, and use pootatoes and crabbage. The secret is to make them melt in yakult salted butter for ten minutes before adding the meat and a bucket of fresh snow.”

They continued to cook and talk far all the afternoon, and when dusk came Lhamom heard Rukshan talk behind his screen. He must have finished the mandala, she thought. She smiled at Olliver, and she felt very pleased that she had kept the boy out of the manfae’s way.

Fox listened to the white silence of the mountain during that brief moment, just after the dogs had made it clear, despite all the promises of food, that they would not help the two-leggeds with their plan.

Fox sighed. For an instant, all felt still and quiet, all was perfectly where it ought to be.

The instant was brief, quickly interrupted by a first growl, joined by a second and a third, and soon the entire pack of mountain dogs walked, all teeth out, towards a surrounded Fox. He looked around. There was no escape route. He had no escape plan. His stomach reminded him that instant that he was still sick. He looked at the mad eyes of the dogs. They hadn’t even left the bones from the meat he gave them earlier. He gulped in an attempt to remove the lump of anguish stuck in his throat. There would be no trace of him left either. Just maybe some red on the snow.

He suddenly felt full of resolve and camped himself on his four legs; he would not go without a fight. His only regret was that he couldn’t help his friends go home.
We’ll meet in another life, he thought. Feeling wolfish he howled in defiance to the dogs.
They had stopped and were looking uncertain of what to do next. Fox couldn’t believe he had impressed them.

“Come,” said a voice behind him. Fox turned surprised. On the pile of his clothes stood Olliver.
“How did you,” he yelped before remembering the boy could not understand him.
“Hurry! I can teleport us back to the camp,” said the boy with his arms opened.

Without a second thought Fox jumped in Olliver’s arms and the next thing he knew was that they were back at the camp. But something was off. Fox could see Rukshan busy making his mandala and Olliver was helping him with the sand. Then he could see Lhamom cooking with the help of another Olliver.
Fox thought it might be some case of post teleportation confusion. He looked at the Olliver who helped him escape an imminent death, the fox head slightly tilted on the side, the question obvious in its eyes.
“Please don’t tell them,” said Olliver, his eyes pleading. “It just happened. I felt a little forgotten and wanted so much to be useful.”

Fox turned back into a human, too surprised to feel the bite of the cold air.
“Oh! Your clothes,” said Olliver before he disappeared. Fox didn’t have time to clear his mind before the boy was back with the clothes.

“I didn’t answer right away because I thought you’d have remembered by now! How terribly rude you are, Finnley. Please excuse her unforgivable manners, Annabel.”

please further presence threads
curious blue candlesticks remained
person mud usual spent late
glad eleri mountain inside
seems street touch matt

Granola allowed herself a few moments to bask in the glow of satisfaction. At least Lucinda had noticed the side bar suggestion she had implanted on the Face It web page, and had perused the ideas sufficiently to motivate her to try out one of the missions.

“Invite a random stranger to join you,” it had said, “to join you for coffee in a nearby cafe, or invite them home for dinner, or to see a movie.” The page had included numerous other suggestions, but that was the gist. They did warn the reader that often, people were suspicious and expected a scam of some kind, and if the random stranger exhibited more that a token display of wary caution, to leave them with a cheery wave, and thank them for helping you to practice your confidence boosting exercises. Under normal circumstances, providing the level of fear and distrust wasn’t too high, this approach usually rendered the random stranger more amenable to an approach in future.

In truth this wasn’t a difficult exercise for Lucinda, for she often spoke to random strangers and quite enjoyed it, although usually she didn’t extend that to personal invitations. But the Ask Aunt Idle Oracle had been droning on and on about interconnection being the primary factor in reducing signs of aging ~ yes, strange, but true: nothing to do with food or toxins or exercise after all ~ so the coincidence of Aunt Idle’s advice mirrored in the side bar suggestion registered sufficiently for Lucinda to actually remember it, and try it out on the bored looking fellow in the supermarket.

Only hesitating slightly before extending his hand to grip hers in a surprisingly firm handshake, he responded: “I’m Jerk. Pleased to meet you.”

Granola grinned from behind the pyramid of baked bean tins, and faded out of the scene. There was work to do on the side bar method for the next clue.

Jerk’s eyes flickered over to the baked beans, registering the peripheral movement, just in time to see a disembodied foot wearing a red sandal vanish into the somewhat heavy air of the canned goods aisle.

Liz had an idea, and was glad that the others were all out on a day trip to the museum so that she could think about it without interruptions. It had occurred to her that there was probably a theme right under their noses regarding the multitudes of non endings in the stories. Where exactly had they all ended without actually ending?

Sure enough, the first one she looked at seemed promising with the mention of sheets:

“Yurick woke up from another spell of dreams. The patterns of the bedsheets where as though his newly inserted tile was creating a strong combination with other tiles.
In his puzzlement, he forgot to take a physical dream snapshot…”

Liz had had a personal breakthrough with bedsheets recently, and was pleased with this encouraging start.

When Liz looked at the next non ending of a story, she wondered if this would prove to be a theme: the characters themselves had gone missing.

“I haven’t heard a word from Lavender for the longest time, Lilac was wondering, When was the last time? Lavender, where ARE you?”

Liz had a slight jolt when she saw the non ending of the story after that, worried that she would find a trend of herself being the last writer to comment. What would that mean, she wondered?

“Minky was looking smug. “Enjoying the ride?”

Ending with a question? Well, that was something to think about. Liz was relived to find she wasn’t the last writer to write in the next story:

“For once, Arona was completely unconcerned about continuity.
“I wonder if we could harness the power of the wind to create a flash mob to amuse and entertain me?” she suggested.
Vincentius pondered for a moment “I did once employ a hamster to power a night light, so I don’t see why not.”

Smiling at the continuity remark, Liz pondered the nature of the message in this one. Anything can be created to amuse… can it be that easy?

Another nasty jolt as Liz read the last entry in the following story, considering the irritating few days she had just had with the online payment company:

“She clicked with her dysfunctionning mouse and invalidated the transaction again.”

Well, Liz said to herself, I certainly hope that little chuckle will have helped change the online transaction situation going on here presently!

Roberto, silhouetted in the frame of back door, smiled smugly as he fingered the skeleton key in his pocket. He was glad he’d brought a few artefacts back from the doline.

He sauntered up to the trunk, whistling a tune about his mother, and tapped on the lid.

“I ‘ave a key that opens everrrrything, including trrrrunks,” he whispered.

“Who are you, please sir, I have a doubt,” the muffled voice inside the trunk replied.

“I’m not surprised,” Roberto replied, somewhat cryptically.

“Please, I need the lavatory only, very quickly need it,” Anna tried another approach.

But Roberto had wandered into the kitchen to confer with Finnley and didn’t hear her.

“Not so fast, Anna” said Finnley, intercepting the maid as she left Godfrey’s room. Just as Roberto had suggested, the back door was indeed unlocked. “I think you have had far too much time on this thread!” And without further ado, Finnley stuffed the protesting maid back into the large trunk.
“Good thing you are so small. You should be fine in there, I think, and I’ve popped in some food and water for your trip too.”
I am so much kinder than she deserves, thought Finnley proudly.
“Please, Miss Finnley! This is not honourable of you. Please revert me to the outside of the trunk at once!”

“Unhand me, you insubordinate wench!” cried Liz. “How very dare you manhandle me like that!” Liz struggled weakly to free herself of Anna’s vice like grip on her arm.

“Godfrey told me to make sure you stayed in bed,” the new maid hissed, “So you don’t spread your germs to the rest of us. Please,” she started wheedling, “Come back to bed like a good girl.”

Liz sputtered in rage, her face turning an alarming shade of puce. “How dare….” she started, and then doubled over. “Take me to the lavatory this instant!”

random plot generator

A BOOK SHOP – IT IS THE AFTERNOON AFTER ALBIE HIT HIS MOTHER WITH A FEATHER.

Newly unemployed ALBIE is arguing with his friend JENNY RAMSBOTTOM. ALBIE tries to hug JENNY but she shakes him off angrily.

ALBIE
Please Jenny, don’t leave me.

JENNY
I’m sorry Albie, but I’m looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away. You hit your mother with a feather! You could have just talked to her!

ALBIE
I am such a person!

JENNY
I’m sorry, Albie. I just don’t feel excited by this relationship anymore.

JENNY leaves and ALBIE sits down, looking defeated.

Moments later, gentle sweet shop owner MR MATT HUMBLE barges in looking flustered.

ALBIE
Goodness, Matt! Is everything okay?

MATT
I’m afraid not.

ALBIE
What is it? Don’t keep me in suspense…

MATT
It’s … a hooligan … I saw an evil hooligan frighten a bunch of elderly ladies!

ALBIE
Defenseless elderly ladies?

MATT
Yes, defenseless elderly ladies!

ALBIE
Bloomin’ heck, Matt! We’ve got to do something.

MATT
I agree, but I wouldn’t know where to start.

ALBIE
You can start by telling me where this happened.

MATT
I was…
MATT fans himself and begins to wheeze.

ALBIE
Focus Matt, focus! Where did it happen?

MATT
The Library! That’s right – the Library!

ALBIE springs up and begins to run.

EXT. A ROAD – CONTINUOUS

ALBIE rushes along the street, followed by MATT. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.

INT. A LIBRARY – SHORTLY AFTER

ROGER BLUNDER a forgetful hooligan terrorises two elderly ladies.

ALBIE, closely followed by MATT, rushes towards ROGER, but suddenly stops in his tracks.

MATT
What is is? What’s the matter?

ALBIE
That’s not just any old hooligan, that’s Roger Blunder!

MATT
Who’s Roger Blunder?

ALBIE
Who’s Roger Blunder? Who’s Roger Blunder? Only the most forgetful hooligan in the universe!

MATT
Blinkin’ knickers, Albie! We’re going to need some help if we’re going to stop the most forgetful hooligan in the universe!

ALBIE
You can say that again.

MATT
Blinkin’ knickers, Albie! We’re going to need some help if we’re going to stop the most forgetful hooligan in the universe!

ALBIE
I’m going to need candlesticks, lots of candlesticks.

Roger turns and sees Albie and Matt. He grins an evil grin.

ROGER
Albie Jones, we meet again!

MATT
You’ve met?

ALBIE
Yes. It was a long, long time ago…

EXT. A PARK – BACK IN TIME

A young ALBIE is sitting in a park listening to some trance music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.

He looks up and sees ROGER. He takes off his headphones.

ROGER
Would you like some wine gums?

ALBIE’s eyes light up, but then he studies ROGER more closely, and looks uneasy.

ALBIE
I don’t know, you look kind of forgetful.

ROGER
Me? No. I’m not forgetful. I’m the least forgetful hooligan in the world.

ALBIE
Wait, you’re a hooligan?

ALBIE runs away, screaming.

INT. A LIBRARY – PRESENT DAY

ROGER
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.

MATT
(To ALBIE) You ran away?
ALBIE
(To MATT) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
ALBIE turns to ROGER.

ALBIE
I may have run away from you then, but I won’t run away this time!
ALBIE runs away.

He turns back and shouts.

ALBIE
I mean, I am running away, but I’ll be back – with candlesticks.

ROGER
I’m not scared of you.

ALBIE
You should be.

INT. A SWEET SHOP – LATER THAT DAY

ALBIE and MATT walk around searching for something.

ALBIE
I feel sure I left my candlesticks somewhere around here.

MATT
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly candlesticks.

ALBIE
You know nothing Matt Humble.

MATT
We’ve been searching for ages. I really don’t think they’re here.

Suddenly, ROGER appears, holding a pair of candlesticks.

ROGER
Looking for something?

MATT
Crikey, Albie, he’s got your candlesticks.

ALBIE
Tell me something I don’t already know!

MATT
The earth’s circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.

ALBIE
I know that already!

MATT
I’m afraid of dust.

ROGER
(appalled) Dude!

While ROGER is looking at MATT with disgust, ALBIE lunges forward and grabs his deadly candlesticks. He wields them, triumphantly.

ALBIE
Prepare to die, you forgetful aubergine!

ROGER
No please! All I did was frighten a bunch of elderly ladies!

JENNY enters, unseen by any of the others.

ALBIE
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those elderly ladies were defenceless! Well now they have a defender – and that’s me! Albie Jones defender of innocent elderly ladies.

ROGER
Don’t hurt me! Please!

ALBIE
Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t use these candlesticks on you right away!

ROGER
Because Albie, I am your father.

ALBIE looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.

ALBIE
No you’re not!

ROGER
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.

ROGER tries to grab the candlesticks but ALBIE dodges out of the way.

ALBIE
Who’s the daddy now? Huh? Huh?

Unexpectedly, ROGER slumps to the ground.

MATT
Did he just faint?

ALBIE
I think so. Well that’s disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly candlesticks.

ALBIE crouches over ROGER’s body.

MATT
Be careful, Albie. It could be a trick.

ALBIE
No, it’s not a trick. It appears that… It would seem… Roger Blunder is dead!

ALBIE
What?

ALBIE
Yes, it appears that I scared him to death.

MATT claps his hands.

MATT
So your candlesticks did save the day, after all.

JENNY steps forward.

JENNY
Is it true? Did you kill the forgetful hooligan?

ALBIE
Jenny how long have you been…?

JENNY puts her arm around ALBIE.

JENNY
Long enough.

ALBIE
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Roger Blunder.

JENNY
Then the elderly ladies are safe?

ALBIE
It does seem that way!

A crowd of vulnerable elderly ladies enter, looking relived.

JENNY
You are their hero.

The elderly ladies bow to ALBIE.

ALBIE
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Roger Blunder will never frighten elderly ladies ever again, is enough for me.

JENNY
You are humble as well as brave! And I think that makes up for hitting your mother with a feather. It does in my opinion!

One of the elderly ladies passes ALBIE a healing ring

JENNY
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.

ALBIE
I couldn’t possibly.
Pause.

ALBIE
Well, if you insist. It could come in handy when I go to the Doline tomorrow. With my friend Matt. It is dangerous and only for brave people and a healing ring could come in handy.

ALBIE takes the ring.

ALBIE
Thank you.
The elderly ladies bow their heads once more, and leave.

ALBIE turns to JENNY.

ALBIE
Does this mean you want me back?

JENNY
Oh, Albie, of course I want you back!
ALBIE smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.

ALBIE
Well you can’t have me.

JENNY
WHAT?

ALBIE
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a hooligan to death before you would believe in me. I don’t want a lover like that. And I am going to the Doline and I may not be back!

JENNY
But…

ALBIE
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin – my best friend, Matt.

MATT grins.

JENNY
But…

MATT
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!

JENNY
Albie?

ALBIE
I’m sorry Jenny, but I think you should skidaddle.
JENNY leaves.

MATT turns to ALBIE.

MATT
Did you mean that? You know … that I’m your best friend?

ALBIE
Of course you are!
The two walk off arm in arm.

Suddenly MATT stops.

MATT
When I said I’m afraid of dust, you know I was just trying to distract the hooligan don’t you?

(With thanks to random story generator for this comment)

Albie looked at the soft feather in his hands and felt happy.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his silent surroundings. He had always loved haunting the village near the doline with its few, but faithful inhabitants. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel happiness.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Ma. He felt his mood drop. Ma was ambitious and a mean-spirited bossy boots.

Albie gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was an impulsive, kind-hearted, beer drinker. His friends saw him as an amusing foolish clown. But he was kind-hearted and once, he had even brought a brave baby bird back from the brink of death.

But not even an impulsive person who had once brought a brave baby bird back from the brink of death, was prepared for what Ma had in store today.

The inclement brooding silence teased like a sitting praying mantis, making Albie anticipate the worst.

As Albie stepped outside and Ma came closer, he could see the mean glint in her eye.

Ma glared with all the wrath of 9 thoughtless hurt hippo. She said, in hushed tones, “I disown you and I want you to leave.”

Albie looked back, even more nervous and still fingering the soft feather. “Ma, please don’t boss me. I am going to the doline,” he replied.

They looked at each other with conflicted feelings, like two deep donkeys chatting at a very funny farewell.

Suddenly, Ma lunged forward and tried to punch Albie in the face. Quickly, Albie grabbed the soft feather and brought it down on Ma’s skull.

Ma’s skinny ear trembled and her short legs wobbled. She looked excited, her emotions raw like a rabblesnatching, rare rock.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Ma was dead.

Albie went back inside and had himself a cold beer.

“You had one job to do! One job!” Alex’s mother shouted at him. “One job, that could hardly have been any easier for a shiftless layabout like you, and you balls it up!”

“Oh Mom, it was so boring! Sitting there for years and nothing ever happened! And we only left once, it was such rotten timing…”

“You were supposed to stop that kind of thing ever happening and now its too late. You and Albie will never get another job now.”

“Well actually you’re wrong, mother. I have been offered a job with the guys who planted all that funny stuff all around the entrance. It involves travel and adventure, they said, and good money, better money that a guard makes!”

“Oh, dear god,” replied Lottie. “Please say it isn’t true.”