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June 4, 2014 at 2:02 am #3182
In reply to: The Time-Dragglers’ Extravaganzas
Sadie briefly considered suggesting that her rampage of negativity was another brilliant idea for a team building exercise, but given the circumstances decided there really wasn’t time.
“Fuckityfuckfuck!” said Sanso checking the messages on his trusty sabulmantium. Of course, Linda Paul had tried to persuade him to use one of her fancy e-zappers but Sanso had steadfastly refused. The sabulmantium was aesthetically so much more pleasing to him, and much easier to synch with the multitude of devices used in the different time periods he was sent to work in.
“Ive got to do what!” he muttered, rolling his eyes. “I was looking forward to a bit of R&R in 2222. Well, I can’t guarantee the zebras but I will do the best I can.”
June 4, 2014 at 1:10 am #3180In reply to: The Time-Dragglers’ Extravaganzas
“Oh fuck off” the words came out without her usual countenance.
Fuck the Queen and motherfucking King, and fuck all of that, and the fuck with those stupid drags in tow, I’d better ask for an extraction team right away. “Oops, sorry no budget love” would most likely be the answer.
Fuck fuck fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK. Sadie was hysterical for a moment.
It felt good, and she knew she had to feel good above anything else.June 3, 2014 at 10:11 am #3178In reply to: The Time-Dragglers’ Extravaganzas
“Lucky we don’t have days for you to get your knickers in a twist about it then.” said Sadie brightly. She checked the time. It was just after 1pm. She knew from her previous research the attempt on the King’s life was to happen at 6pm. It didn’t give them much time. But I am sure it will be all the time we need! she reminded herself sternly. She wondered when Linda Paul would send through their next instructions. Now that the key was not in the ferret as had been anticipated, Sadie found herself floundering — despite the confident outward appearance she presented and the engaging way she explained the highly technical capabilities of the wondrous e-zapper.
June 2, 2014 at 11:39 pm #3177In reply to: The Time-Dragglers’ Extravaganzas
“And how are we going to lip-synch?” Terry said in horror, realizing the XVIIIth century sound system left too much to be desired. No glittering disco ball, no laser effects, gosh it would be like being naked on stage…
“Well, glad you asked”, Sadie said looking at her ezapper. “You see, this little device can do wonders, such as projecting very convincing holograms to create the most amazing scenes with little props needed, but I’m afraid, it needs a little boost in our case.”
“It needs juice now?” Maurana wondered.
“No, that much is OK, thanks to some fish extract, its battery is now fueled back on for days. All it needs now is an amplifier. That was one of the use of the ferret key, you see.”“So no key, no extravaganza?” Consuela said with tears in her eyes.
“If you must spell it out that way, yes… But of couse, you can still complete the show without any special effects.” she added mischievously
All three of the queens recoiled in horror at the heretic thought of them performing without any of those bare necessities. The thought of them singing acapella was enough to give them nightmares for days.
June 1, 2014 at 10:59 pm #3171In reply to: The Time-Dragglers’ Extravaganzas
Just at that moment, Sadie’s lemon quote pinged through on the e-zapper.
Just don’t stop bringing your impulses because they make up for wonderful unexpectedness, twists and turns and plot rebondissements.
June 1, 2014 at 1:33 pm #3169In reply to: The Time-Dragglers’ Extravaganzas
As Sadie pulled open the seam of the crocheted ferret a dreadful smell wafted out.
“I’m not putting my hand inside there, key or no key” said Terry. “Smells like dead fish how revolting!”
“That’s because is IS dead fish, look!” exclaimed Consuela.
“Thanks for all the fish” muttered Sadie crossly. “The key must be in the other ferret. Someone must have tampered with the tags. It would appear that we’ve been hoodwinked and this is the decoy meant for the Russians.”
“Does that mean we can tie these actors up and gag them, then?” asked Terry hopefully.
“Yes alright” replied Sadie, distracted. “We may need some extra time after all.”June 1, 2014 at 4:53 am #3166In reply to: The Time-Dragglers’ Extravaganzas
“You wouldn’t believe what happened to me”, began Cedric who entered the chapel at that moment. The four actors of the Theater du Soleil turned to the newcomer and you could see the surprise on their face at seeing a bearded lady.
Sadie acted on an impulse. She set the e-zapper to mild intensity, slided up the time wheel, and zapped the four comedians before anyone could notice. Geoffroy du Limon, Lison Tailleur, Jean Pastisse and Francette Fine were now lying on the chapel floor, as if in the midst of dreams. Jean Pastisse was blushing and Francette Fine giggling.
“Why are they doing that?” asked Maurana puzzled. “And why did you do that?”
Sadie looked at the e-zapper settings and chuckled. Last time she used the dream induction was with her lover. “Let’s just say they that we are the show now. As for those guys, they’re just having a good dream.”
“Are we going to tie them up and gag them ?” asked Terry.
Sadie wasn’t sure about a certain hint of anticipation in the drag’s voice.
“No need for that,” she said, “They’ll keep dreaming for about four hours. I’ll just have to be there before they wake up to induce them into another dream so we can do our performance undisturbed.”May 31, 2014 at 1:32 pm #3165In reply to: The Time-Dragglers’ Extravaganzas
“Who are you? Are you part of the show?”
The dragqueens had not noticed the four actors coming in the chapel, who were now standing in the aisle with some doubt clouding their faces about possible unexpected competition.“And who are you?” Sadie returned the question with suave authority.
“The Wonderful Theater du Soleil, ma chère. You have in front of you Geoffroy du Limon, Lison Tailleur, Jean Pastisse, and Francette Fine, à votre service.”May 31, 2014 at 1:24 pm #3164In reply to: The Time-Dragglers’ Extravaganzas
“Well, that was almost too easy…”
Despite his weight and the various layers of clothes, Reginald who had struggled to get back into Maurana Banana’s tight costume was the first to realize what had just happened, and had rushed to the statue to snatch the prized crocheted ferret, beating Consuela and Terry by a short hand.
Sadie looked with a slight hint of disapproval at his XVIIIth century apparent undergarments, but was glad that this was resolved so efficiently.“The prize is inside the ferret, ladies.”
“Off with your grabby hands, you tart!” shouted Maurana batting her eyelashes ferociously at Terry Bubble who wanted a closer look at the intriguing tear in the fabric.
“Oh leave it there, you silly bitch, now you can gloat with your tarty breeches, you haven’t get half your costume ready” Consuela was starting to enjoy the argle-bargle.“And what should we do now? Wasn’t there supposed to be another one?” Maurana turned to Sadie.
“We’re in luck. Obviously there always has been a plan B, dear. The second one was a decoy for the Russian team, I just got it confirmed from the tagging chip of the toy.”Everyone was hanged to her words, which was a satisfying moment, not so much for the riveted attentions on her loving person but for the temporary silence. Sadie milked it for a few more seconds before adding.
“Let’s open it up carefully, there is a key inside we need. Then, you only need to do one thing before we go home. Get on that scene at the Opera, rock the audience, and we’ll get down the Time Sewer off to our time and your prize.”
She pause before adding, looking down at Maurana’s breeches. “There is obviously some prep’ work left to do.”
May 31, 2014 at 4:09 am #3163In reply to: The Time-Dragglers’ Extravaganzas
Sadie was using the sewing app on her e-zapper to modify the horrible garments provided for them, when she noticed that the ferret was moving toward the chapel. She felt a rush of anticipation go through her.
”Okay, you guys, we need to hide. Someone is coming and it looks like they have a ferret on them!”
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
”Oh Dear Blessed Mother Mary, and if there are any Saints or Angels listening, please help me. I have done something very bad and done an awful sin and and I don’t want to be beaten so please forgive me. I am so sorry for taking the little toy. It was for my little brother because it is his birthday coming up, but it is a sin to steal and also to think that the Queen is old and ugly and please have mercy on me and I promise I will never sin again and I will serve you the rest of my life. I won’t be rude to Mirabelle, even though she is a bad sinner and quite mean. I will only do good and smile and think good things. I will say my prayers every night. So please have mercy on me and make sure I don’t get in trouble. I am leaving the little toy here for you and you can do what you think is best. But don’t tell anyone I left it”
”Please.” she added again, for good measure.
Feeling satisfied that she had done all she could, Adeline placed the toy ferret gently in front of the statue of Mary, and silently slipped out of the chapel.
May 30, 2014 at 4:19 am #3160In reply to: The Time-Dragglers’ Extravaganzas
Sadie looked bemused at the flickering dots on the ezapper, one for each of the 2 time-smuggled ferrets. One was starting to change position, and it was moving right towards them.
May 29, 2014 at 1:36 pm #3158In reply to: The Time-Dragglers’ Extravaganzas
May 29, 2014 at 9:48 am #3156In reply to: The Time-Dragglers’ Extravaganzas
Sadie almost had a fit when she received the models for their party attire. Blue, Red and Yellow, cork bums bigger than whales’ head and, that was a surprise, instead of wigs, three cornered hats looking like a galley with oars. She sent a message to Linda Paul.
“There must be a mistake, we are supposed not to create ripples through time by introducing…” she thought about the right words… “new fashion trends”.
The e-zapper buzzed as the answer arrived.
“Sorry sweety, those were the only outfits available at the moment. They came directly from China. Cheap, cheap. Crisis for everyone. I’m sure you understand, Sadie darling.”Sadie thought of a diplomatic way to tell the news to her proteges. The hell with China, she thought. They were in the very time period that inspired the Queens for all the wigs and the fancy dresses that would come with Marie-Antoinette. They just had to be creative and follow the thread of maids to help them steal some more interesting clothes.
May 29, 2014 at 7:02 am #3153In reply to: The Time-Dragglers’ Extravaganzas
Reginald gaped in amazement at the brainwave that had struck Sadie. Poor thing, he thought, she seemed to have these fits sometimes, where she would hang on a word, frozen in time for minutes, and then resuming as if nothing had happened.
He snapped his fingers in front of Sadie, but she remained motionless. Pity, he thought, there would be none of the delicious crocodile eggs poached from the Menagerie left when she would come back to her senses…May 29, 2014 at 6:42 am #3152In reply to: The Time-Dragglers’ Extravaganzas
“I heard that” replied Pseu telepathically. “And you’re right, of course I’m connected to the Russians. So are you, for that matter, didn’t you know? Igor Popinkin’s little sister Faina ring any bells? The connection to the Russians is not what you think!”
Sadie frowned in puzzlement. The fact was that the name Faina did ring a few bells, but it was vague, almost as if she had dreamed about her.
“The thing is” continued Psue, “Not to take sides. There are connecting links everywhere. The Russians may be “on the other side” in one particular scenario, but behind the scenes, it’s another story.”May 29, 2014 at 6:08 am #3151In reply to: The Time-Dragglers’ Extravaganzas
Sadie was momentarily distracted from her team morale building attempts by her telepathic conversation with Pseu. Could she afford to go out of body at this crucial point in the mission?”. Linda Paul would not like it but Pseu could be very compelling at times. Sadie did not entirely trust Pseu—there had been whispers at the Academy that she was somehow connected with the Russians. Sadie wasn’t too worried about that; she knew all that mattered was her own high vibration.
May 29, 2014 at 5:59 am #3150In reply to: The Time-Dragglers’ Extravaganzas
“Sadie! psst!” Pseu whispered. “Come with me while they’re getting prepared, they’ll be ages sorting those hoops and bums out.”
“Where are we going?”
“To the Estate, I want to show you the new KILT tiles and the links to the thread in 2014.”
“But I’m having enough difficulty keeping the threads of this thread in order, Pseu, really!”
“They’re connected, it will all start to make sense, trust me!” Pseu replied. “Finn the whale has just made an appearance: in the Gibraltar waters.”
“How can that possibly be connected to Versailles?” Sadie looked unconvinced.
“Trust me” repeated Pseu. “It will become clear when you’ve seen the new tiles.”May 29, 2014 at 5:46 am #3149In reply to: The Time-Dragglers’ Extravaganzas
Sadie smiled kindly at her charges who looked less than enthused at her words. “I know! Let’s have a group hug!” she said, extending her arms.
May 29, 2014 at 5:11 am #3148In reply to: The Time-Dragglers’ Extravaganzas
“Rise and shine bitches!” The voice of Linda Paul through the ezapper was unmistakable.
“Tonight you’ll be judged on your in character performance, so better prepare your false tits and butts, corsets and wigs, because tonight’s gonna be a kiki party’s_Have_a_Kiki ! Chop chop those pork chops”Reggie was looking around for signs of Ced’ and Amar, only to realise Amar was the only one there sleeping, rolled in his choirboy robe like a big sausage. The thought had him starve for crispy chicken sausages, eggs and bacon. His stomach grumbled in a loud and imperative gargle.
“Where’s Ced’?” That binge on the wine was no fuckin’ good idea, they should have listened to that smart-ass Lady Prissy of Sadie. What a bitch that one, always being right and spot-on. Someone should tell her how annoying that was. And that head-splitting headache…
He woke up Amar who rolled aside moaning to leave him alone.
“Ceeeeeed’!” he yelled, “Cedriiiiiic!” again so loudly that the resounding sound in the chapel almost deafened him. Then remembering Cedric would sometimes only answer to his queen name “Consuelaaaaaaaa!”“No need to alert the whole neighbourhood” Sadie appeared, calm and prim as a rose. “He’s sleeping outside in the gardens. Go get him, so we can get back to business, I got a tracking device with the current location of the ferrets. We’ll split in teams of two: one to retrieve the ferrets on one side, and the other to get our night’s gowns. Let’s have a draw in ten, so we can eat and get moving.”
May 28, 2014 at 6:25 am #3145In reply to: The Time-Dragglers’ Extravaganzas
The Chapel was a bit damp, but provided for temporary shelter and cheap mass wine.
Sadie had let the boys get out of their drags in one of the closets at the back of the building, changing for some choirboys garbs which made for a funny match with their outrageous makeup.
At last, they would all get some sleep before getting ready for the night and Linda Paul’s next instructions. -
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