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  • Becky felt revitalized somewhat after breakfast, and decided to go for a walk. Sean was still snoring and mumbling in bed, so she pulled some clothes out of the closet quickly and climbed into them quietly, unable to see clearly in the dark. If the pile of wedding gifts on the dining room table hadn’t attracted her ... · ID #724 (continued)
    (next in 23h 25min…)

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  • #8048

    “Bless you,” Helier offered, instinctively sliding the half-chewed pencil stub under a pile of National Geographics from 1978. He felt a flush of guilt, as if he’d been caught trying to steal a kid’s toy.

    Cerenise rolled into the room, looking like a sorry pile of laundry. She was wrapped in three different shawls—one Paisley, one Tartan, and one that looked like a doily from a medieval altar. She held a lace handkerchief to her nose, trumpeting into it with a force that rattled the nearby display of thimbles.

    “It’s not the damp,” she croaked, her voice an octave lower than usual. “It’s the cleanliness. Since Spirius fixed that pipe, the air is too… sterile. My immune system is in shock. It misses the spores.”

    She eyed the spot where Helier had hidden the pencil. “You were thinking about it, weren’t you?”

    “Thinking about what?” Helier feigned innocence, picking up a ceramic frog.

    “The Novena,” she whispered the word like a curse. “I saw the look in your eye. The ‘maybe I don’t need this’ look. It’s the fever talking, Helier. Don’t give in. I almost threw away a button yesterday. A bakelite toggle from a 1930s duffel coat. I held it over the bin for a full minute.” She shuddered, pulling the shawls tighter. “Madness.”

    “Pure madness,” Helier agreed, quickly retrieving the pencil stub and placing it prominently on the desk to prove his loyalty to the hoard. “We must stay strong. Now, surely you didn’t brave the drafty hallway just to discuss my potential apostasy?”

    “I didn’t,” Cerenise sniffed, tucking the handkerchief into her sleeve. “I found him. Or at least, I found the thread.”

    She wheeled closer, dropping a printout onto Helier’s knees. It was a genealogy chart, annotated with her elegant, spider-scrawl handwriting.

    “Pierre Wenceslas Varlet,” she announced. “Born 1824. Brother to a last of the famously named Austreberthes — mortal ones, unsaintly, of course. Her lineage didn’t die out, Helier.”

    Helier squinted at the paper. “Varlet? Sounds like a villain in one of Liz Tattler’s bodice-rippers. ‘The Vengeful Varlet of Venice’.

    “Focus, Helier. Look at the modern branch.” She pointed to the bottom of the page. “The name changed in the 1950s. Anglicized. And I think, if my research into the local council tax records—hacked via that delightful ‘incognito mode’ you showed me—is correct, the current ‘Varlet’ is closer than we think.”

    “How close?”

    “Gloucester close,” Cerenise said, her eyes gleaming with the thrill of the hunt, momentarily forgetting her flu. “And you’ll never guess where he works.”

    #7874

    A Quick Vacay on Mars

    “The Helix is coming in for descent,” announced Luca Stroud, a bit too solemnly. “And by descent, I mean we’re parking in orbit and letting the cargo shuttles do the sweaty work.”

    From the main viewport, Mars sprawled below in all its dusty, rust-red glory. Gone was the Jupiter’s orbit pulls of lunacy, after a 6 month long voyage, they were down to the Martian pools of red dust.

    Even from space, you could see the abandoned domes of the first human colonies, with the unmistakable Muck conglomerate’s branding: half-buried in dunes, battered by storms, and rumored to be haunted (well, if you believed the rumors from the bored Helix 25 children).

    Veranassessee—Captain Veranassessee, thank you very much— stood at the helm with the unruffled poise of someone who’d wrested control of the ship (and AI) with consummate style and in record time. With a little help of course from X-caliber, the genetic market of the Marlowe’s family that she’d recovered from Marlowe Sr. before Synthia had had a chance of scrubbing all traces of his DNA. Now, with her control back, most of her work had been to steer the ship back to sanity, and rebuild alliances.

    “That’s the plan. Crew rotation, cargo drop, and a quick vacay if we can manage not to break a leg.”

    Sue Forgelot, newly minted second in command, rolled her eyes affectionately. “Says the one who insisted we detour for a peek at the old Mars amusements. If you want to roast marshmallows on volcanic vents, just say it.”

    Their footsteps reverberated softly on the deck. Synthia’s overhead panels glowed calm, reined in by the AI’s newly adjusted parameters. Luca tapped the console. “All going smoothly, Cap’n. Next phase of ‘waking the sleepers’ will happen in small batches—like you asked.”

    Veranassessee nodded silently. The return to reality would prove surely harsh to most of them, turned soft with low gravity. She would have to administrate a good dose of tough love.

    Sue nodded. “We’ll need a slow approach. Earth’s… not the paradise it once was.”

    Veranassessee exhaled, eyes lingering on the red planet turning slowly below. “One challenge at a time. Everyone’s earned a bit of shore leave. If you can call an arid dustball ‘shore.’”

    The Truce on Earth

    Tundra brushed red dust off her makeshift jacket, then gave her new friend a loving pat on the flank. The baby sanglion—already the size of a small donkey—sniffed the air, then leaned its maned, boar-like head into Tundra’s shoulder. “Easy there, buddy,” she murmured. “We’ll find more scraps soon.”

    They were in the ravaged outskirts near Klyutch Base, forging a shaky alliance with Sokolov’s faction. Sokolov—sharp-eyed and suspicious—stalked across the battered tarmac with a crate of spare shuttle parts. “This is all the help you’re getting from me,” he said, his accent carving the words. “Use it well. No promises once the Helix 25 arrives.”

    Commander Koval hovered by the half-repaired shuttle, occasionally casting sidelong glances at the giant, (mostly) friendly  mutant beast at Tundra’s side. “Just keep that… sanglion… away from me, will you?”

    Molly, Tundra’s resilient great-grandmother, chuckled. “He’s harmless unless you’re an unripe melon or a leftover stew. Aren’t you, sweetie?”

    The creature snorted. Sokolov’s men loaded more salvage onto the shuttle’s hull. If all went well, they’d soon have a functioning vessel to meet the Helix when it finally arrived.

    Tundra fed her pet a chunk of dried fruit. She wondered what the grand new ship would look like after so many legends and rumors. Would the Helix be a promise of hope—or a brand-new headache?

    Finkley’s Long-Distance Lounge

    On Helix 25, Finkley’s new corner-lounge always smelled of coffee and antiseptic wipes, thanks to her cleaning-bot minions. Rows of small, softly glowing communication booths lined the walls—her “direct Earth Connection.” A little sign reading FINKLEY’S WHISPER CALLS flickered overhead. Foot traffic was picking up, because after the murder spree ended, people craved normalcy—and gossip.

    She toggled an imaginary switch —she had found mimicking old technology would help tune the frequencies more easily. “Anybody out there?”

    Static, then a faint voice from Earth crackled through the anchoring connection provided by Finja on Earth. “Hello? This is…Tala from Spain… well, from the Hungarian border these days…”

    “Lovely to hear from you, Tala dear!” Finkley replied in the most uncheerful voice, as she was repeating the words from Kai Nova, who had found himself distant dating after having tried, like many others on the ship before, to find a distant relative connected through the FinFamily’s telepathic bridge. Surprisingly, as he got accustomed to the odd exchange through Finkley-Finja, he’d found himself curious and strangely attracted to the stories from down there.

    “Doing all right down there? Any new postcards or battered souvenirs to share with the folks on Helix?”

    Tala laughed over the Fin-line. “Plenty. Mostly about wild harvests, random postcards, and that new place we found. We’re calling it The Golden Trowel—trust me, it’s quite a story.”

    Behind Finkley, a queue had formed: a couple of nostalgic Helix residents waiting for a chance to talk to distant relatives, old pen pals, or simply anyone with a different vantage on Earth’s reconstruction. Even if those calls were often just a “We’re still alive,” it was more comfort than they’d had in years.

    “Hang in there, sweetie,” Finkley said with a drab tone, relaying Kai’s words, struggling hard not to be beaming at the imaginary booth’s receiver. “We’re on our way.”

    Sue & Luca’s Gentle Reboot

    In a cramped subdeck chamber whose overhead lights still flickered ominously, Luca Stroud connected a portable console to one of Synthia’s subtle interface nodes. “Easy does it,” he muttered. “We nudge up the wake-up parameters by ten percent, keep an eye on rising stress levels—and hopefully avoid any mass lunacy like last time.”

    Sue Forgelot observed from behind, arms folded and face alight with the steely calm that made her a natural second in command. “Focus on folks from the Lower Decks first. They’re more used to harsh realities. Less chance of meltdown when they realize Earth’s not a bed of roses.”

    Luca shot her a thumbs-up. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.” He tapped the console, and Synthia’s interface glowed green, accepting the new instructions.

    “Well, Synthia, dear,” Sue said, addressing the panel drily, “keep cooperating, and nobody’ll have to forcibly remove your entire matrix.”

    A faint chime answered—Synthia’s version of a polite half-nod. The lines of code on Luca’s console rearranged themselves into a calmer pattern. The AI’s core processes, thoroughly reined in by the Captain’s new overrides, hummed along peacefully. For now.

    Evie & Riven’s Big News

    On Helix 25’s mid-deck Lexican Chapel, full of spiral motifs and drifting incense, Evie and Riven stood hand in hand, ignoring the eerie chanting around them. Well, trying to ignore it. Evie’s belly had a soft curve now, and Riven couldn’t stop glancing at it with a proud smile.

    One of the elder Lexicans approached, wearing swirling embroidered robes. “The engagement ceremony is prepared, if you’re still certain you want our… elaborate rituals.”

    Riven, normally stoic, gave a slight grin. “We’re certain.” He caught Evie’s eye. “I guess you’re stuck with me, detective. And the kid inside you who’ll probably speak Lexican prophecies by the time they’re one.”

    Evie rolled her eyes, though affection shone behind it. “If that’s the worst that happens, I’ll take it. We’ve both stared down bigger threats.” Then her hand drifted to her abdomen, protective and proud. “Let’s keep the chanting to a minimum though, okay?”

    The Lexican gave a solemn half-bow. “We shall refrain from dancing on the ceilings this time.”

    They laughed, past tensions momentarily lifted. Their child’s future, for all its uncertain possibilities, felt like hope on a ship that was finally getting stirred in a clear direction… away from the void of its own nightmares. And Mars, just out the window, loomed like a stepping stone to an Earth that might yet be worth returning to.

    #7864

    Mavis adjusted her reading glasses, peering suspiciously at the announcement flashing across the common area screen.

    “Right then,” she said, tapping it. “Would you look at that. We’re not drifting to our doom in the black abyss anymore. We’re going home. Makes me almost sad to think of it that way.”

    Gloria snorted. “Home? I haven’t lived on Earth in so long I don’t even remember which part of it I used to hate the most.”

    Sharon sighed dramatically. “Oh, don’t be daft, Glo. We had civilisation back there. Fresh air, real ground under our feet. Seasons!”

    Mavis leaned back with a smirk. “And let’s not forget: gravity. Remember that, Glo? That thing that kept our knickers from floating off at inconvenient moments?”

    Gloria waved a dismissive hand. “Oh please, Earth gravity’s overrated. I’ve gotten used to my ankles not being swollen. Besides, you do realise that Earth’s just a tiny, miserable speck in all this? How could we tire of this grand adventure into nothing?” She gestured widely, nearly knocking Sharon’s drink out of her hand.

    Sharon gasped. “Well, that was uncalled for. Tiny miserable speck, my foot! That tiny speck is the only thing in this whole bloody universe with tea and biscuits. Get the same in Uranus now!”

    Mavis nodded sagely. “She’s got a point, Glo.”

    Gloria narrowed her eyes. “Oh, don’t you start. I was perfectly fine living out my days in the great unknown, floating about like a well-moisturized sage of space, unburdened by all the nonsense of Earth.”

    Sharon rolled her eyes. “Oh, spare me. Two weeks ago you were crying about missing your favorite brand of shampoo.”

    Gloria sniffed. “That was a moment of weakness.”

    Mavis grinned. “And now you’re about to have another when we get back and realise how much tax has accumulated while we’ve been away.”

    A horrified silence fell between them.

    Sharon exhaled. “Right. Back to the abyss then?”

    Gloria nodded solemnly. “Back to the abyss.”

    Mavis raised her cup. “To the abyss.”

    They clinked their mismatched mugs together in a toast, while the ship quietly, inevitably, pulled them home.

    #7840

    Helix 25 — Aftermath of the Solar Flare Alert

    The Second Murder

    It didn’t take them long to arrive at the scene, Riven alerted by a distraught Finkley who’d found the body.

    Evie knelt beside the limp, twitching form of Mandrake, his cybernetic collar flickering erratically, tiny sparks dancing along its edge. The cat’s body convulsed, its organic parts frozen in eerie stillness while the cybernetic half stuttered between functions, blinking in and out of awareness.

    Mandrake was both dead and not dead.

    “Well, this is unsettling,” TP quipped, materializing beside them with an exaggerated frown. “A most profound case of existential uncertainty. Schrödinger himself would have found this delightful—if he weren’t very much confirmed dead.”

    Riven crouched, running a scanner over Mandrake’s collar. The readout spat out errors. “Neural link’s corrupted. He’s lost something.”

    Evie’s stomach twisted. “Lost what? But… he can be repaired, surely, can’t he?”

    Evan replied with a sigh “Hard to tell how much damage he’s suffered, but we caught him in time thanks to Finkley’s reflexes, he may stand a chance, even if he may need to be reprogrammed.”

    Mandrake’s single functioning eye flickered open, its usual sharpness dull. Then, rasping, almost disjointedly, he muttered:

    “I was… murdered.”

    Then his system crashed, leaving nothing but silence.

    Upper Decks Carnival

    Sue was still adjusting her hat and feathers for the Carnival Party wondering if that would be appropriate as she was planning to go to the wake first, and then to the Lexican’s baby shower. It wasn’t every day there was a baby nowadays. And a boy too. But then, there was no such thing as being overdressed in her book.

    The ship’s intercom crackled to life, cutting through her thoughts, its automated cheerfulness electrifying like a misplaced party horn.

    “Attention, dear passengers! As scheduled, with the solar flare now averted, we are preparing for our return to Earth. Please enjoy the journey and partake in today’s complimentary hibiscus tea at the Grand Hall! Samba!”

    The words ‘return to Earth’ sent a shudder through Sue’s spine. That wasn’t right. That wasn’t possible.

    A sudden pulse of static in her artificial limb made her flinch. A garbled transmission—so faint she almost dismissed it—whispered through her internal interface, that was constantly scanning hacking through the data streams of the ship, and having found critical intel that was quickly being scrubbed by the maintenance system.

    Signal detected…
    Beacon coordinates triangulating…
    …origin: Earth…

    Her breath stopped. Sue had spent years pretending she knew everything, but this… was something else entirely.

    She got the odd and ominous feeling that Synthia was listening.

    Quadrant B – The Wake of Mr. Herbert

    The air in the gathering hall was thick with preservative floral mist—the result of enthusiastic beauticians who had done their best to restore and rehydrate the late Mr. Herbert to some semblance of his former self.

    And yet, despite their efforts, he still looked vaguely like a damp raisin in a suit.

    Gloria adjusted her shawl and whispered to Sharon, “He don’t look half bad, does he?”

    Sharon squinted. “Oh, love, I’d say he looks at least three-quarters bad.”

    Marlowe Sr. stood by the casket, his posture unnervingly rigid, as if he were made of something more fragile than bone. When he spoke, his voice cracked. “Ethan.”

    He was in no condition for a speech— only able to utter the name.

    Gloria dabbed her eyes, nudging Mavis. “I reckon this is the saddest thing I’ve seen since they discontinued complimentary facials at the spa.”

    Mavis sniffed. “And yet, they say he’ll be composted by next Tuesday. Bloody efficient, innit?”

    Marlowe didn’t hear them.

    Because at that moment, as he stared at his son’s face, the realization struck him like a dying star—this was no mistake. This was something bigger.

    And for the first time in years, he felt the weight of knowing too much.

    He would have to wake and talk to the Captain. She would know what to do.

    #7822

    Helix 25 – Gentle Utopia at Upper Decks

    The Upper Decks of Helix 25 were a marvel of well-designed choreography and engineered tranquility. Life here was made effortless, thanks to an artful curation of everyday problems. Climate control ensured the air was always crisp, with just enough variation to keep the body alert, while maintaining a perfect balance of warm and cool, hygrometry, with no crazy seasons or climate change upheaval to disrupt the monotony. Food dispensers served gourmet meals for every individual preferences —decadent feasts perfectly prepared at the push of a button. The Helix cruise starships were designed for leisure, an eternity of comfort — and it had succeeded.

    For the average resident, the days blended into one another in an animated swirl of hobbyist pursuits. There were the Arboretum Philosophers, who debated meaningfully over the purpose of existence while sipping floral-infused teas. There were the Artisans, who crafted digital masterpieces that vanished into the ship’s archives as soon as they were complete. There were the Virtual Adventurers, who lived entire lifetimes in fully immersive life-like simulations, all while reclining on plush lounges, connected to their brain chips courtesy of Muck Industries.

    And then, there were Sharon, Gloria, and Mavis.

    Three old ladies who, by all accounts, should have spent their days knitting and reminiscing about their youth, but instead had taken it upon themselves to make Helix 25 a little more interesting.

    :fleuron2:

    “Another marvelous day, ladies,” Sharon declared as she strolled along the gilded walkway of the Grand Atrium, a cavernous space filled with floating lounges and soft ambient music. The ceiling was a perfect replica of a sky—complete with drifting, lazy clouds and the occasional simulated flock of birds. Enough to make you almost forget you were in a closed fully-controlled environment.

    Mavis sighed, adjusting her gaudy, glittering shawl. “It’s too marvelous, if you ask me. Bit samey, innit? Not even a good scandal to shake things up.”

    Gloria scoffed. “Pah! That’s ‘cause we ain’t lookin’ hard enough. Did you hear about that dreadful business down in the Granary? Dried ‘im up like an apricot, they did. Disgustin’.”

    Dreadful,” Sharon agreed solemnly. “And not a single murder for decades, you know. We were overdue.”

    Mavis clutched her pearls. “You make it sound like a good thing.”

    Gloria waved a dismissive hand. “I’m just sayin’, bit of drama keeps people from losing their minds. No offense, but how many decades of spa treatments can a person endure before they go barmy?”

    They passed a Wellness Lounge, where a row of residents were floating in Zero-G Hydrotherapy Pods, their faces aglow with Rejuvenex™ Anti-Aging Serum. Others lounged under mild UV therapy lamps, soaking up synthetic vitamin D while attendants rubbed nutrient-rich oils into their wrinkle-free skin.

    Mavis peered at them. “Y’know, I swear some of ‘em are the same age as when we boarded.”

    Gloria sniffed. “Not the same, Mavis. Just better preserved.”

    Sharon tapped her lips, thoughtful. “I always wondered why we don’t have crime ‘ere. I mean, back on Earth, it were all fights, robbery, someone goin’ absolutely mental over a parking space—”

    Gloria nodded. “It’s ‘cause we ain’t got money, Sha. No money, no stress, see? Everyone gets what they need.”

    Needs? Glo, love, people here have twelve-course meals and private VR vacations to Ancient Rome! I don’t reckon that counts as ‘needs’.”

    “Well, it ain’t money, exactly,” Mavis pondered, “but we still ‘ave credits, don’t we?”

    :fleuron2:

    They fell into deep philosophical debates —or to say, their version of it.

    Currency still existed aboard Helix 25, in a way. Each resident had a personal wealth balance, a digital measure of their social contributions—creative works, mentorship, scientific discovery, or participation in ship maintenance (for those who actually enjoyed labor, an absurd notion to most Upper Deckers). It wasn’t about survival, not like on the Lower Decks or the Hold, but about status. The wealthiest weren’t necessarily the smartest or the strongest, but rather those who best entertained or enriched the community.

    :fleuron2:

    Gloria finally waved her hand dismissively. “Point is, they keep us comfortable so we don’t start thinkin’ about things too much. Keep us occupied. Like a ship-sized cruise, but forever.”

    Mavis wrinkled her nose. “A bit sinister, when you put it like that.”

    “Well, I didn’t say it were sinister, I just said it were clever.” Gloria sniffed. “Anyway, we ain’t the ones who need entertainin’, are we? We’ve got a mystery on our hands.”

    Sharon clapped excitedly. “Ooooh yes! A real mystery! Ain’t it thrillin’?”

    “A proper one,” Gloria agreed. “With dead bodies an’ secrets an’—”

    “—murder,” Mavis finished, breathless.

    The three of them sighed in unison, delighted at the prospect.

    They continued their stroll past the Grand Casino & Theatre, where a live orchestral simulation played for a well-dressed audience. Past the Astronomer’s Lounge, where youngster were taught to chart the stars that Helix 25 would never reach. Past the Crystal Arcade, where another group of youth of the ship enjoyed their free time on holographic duels and tactical board games.

    So much entertainment. So much luxury.

    So much designed distraction.

    Gloria stopped suddenly, narrowing her eyes. “You ever wonder why we ain’t heard from the Captain in years?”

    Sharon and Mavis stopped.

    A hush fell over them.

    Mavis frowned. “I thought you said the Captain were an idea, not a person.”

    “Well, maybe. But if that’s true, who’s actually runnin’ the show?” Gloria folded her arms.

    They glanced around, as if expecting an answer from the glowing Synthia panels embedded in every wall.

    For the first time in a long while, they felt watched.

    “…Maybe we oughta be careful,” Sharon muttered.

    Mavis shivered. “Oh, Glo. What ‘ave you gotten us into this time?”

    Gloria straightened her collar. “Dunno yet, love. But ain’t it excitin’?”

    :fleuron2:

    “With all the excitment, I almost forgot to tell you about that absolutely ghastly business,” Gloria declared, moments later, at the Moonchies’ Café, swirling her lavender-infused tea. “Watched a documentary this morning. About man-eating lions of Njombe.”

    Sharon gasped, clutching her pearls. “Man eating lions?!”

    Mavis blinked. “Wait. Man-eating lions, or man eating lions?”

    There was a pause.

    Gloria narrowed her eyes. “Mavis, why in the name of clotted cream would I be watchin’ a man eating lions?”

    Mavis shrugged. “Well, I dunno, do I? Maybe he ran out of elephants.”

    Sharon nodded sagely. “Yes, happens all the time in those travel shows.”

    Gloria exhaled through her nose. “It’s not a travel show, Sha. And it’s not fiction.”

    Mavis scoffed. “You sure? Sounds ridiculous.”

    “Not as ridiculous as a man sittin’ down to a plate of roast lion chops,” Gloria shot back.

    Mavis tilted her head. “Maybe it’s in a recipe book?”

    Gloria slammed her teacup down. “I give up. I absolutely give up.”

    Sharon patted her hand. “There, there, Glo. You can always watch somethin’ lighter tomorrow. Maybe a nice documentary about man-eating otters.”

    Mavis grinned. “Or man eating otters.”

    Gloria inhaled deeply, resisting the urge to upend her tea.

    This, this was why Helix 25 had never known war.

    No one had the time.

    #7788

    At first, no one noticed.

    They were still speculating about the truck—where it had come from, where it might be going, whether following it was a brilliant idea or a spectacularly bad one.

    And, after all, Finja was always muttering about something. Dust, filth, things not put back where they belonged.

    But then her voice rose till she was all but shouting.

    “Of course, they’re all savages. I don’t know how I put up with them! Honestly, I AM AT MY WIT’S END!”

    “Finja?” Anya called. “Are you okay?”

    Finja strode on, intent on her diatribe.

    “No, I don’t know where they are going,” she yelled.  “If I knew that, I probably wouldn’t be here, would I?”

    Tala hurried to catch up and stepped in front of Finja, blocking her path. “Finja, are you okay? Who are you talking to?”

    Finja sighed loudly; it was tedious. People were so obsessed with explanations.

    “If you must know,” she said, “I am conversing with my Auntie Finnley in Australia.”

    “Ooooh!” Vera’s eyes lit up. “ A relative!”

    Yulia, walking between Luka and Lev, giggled. She adored the twins and couldn’t decide which one she liked more. They were both so tall and handsome. Others found it hard to tell them apart but she always could. It was rumoured that at birth they had been joined at the hip.

    “Finja is totally bonkers,” she declared cheerfully and the twins smiled in unison.

    “I will have you know I’m not bonkers.” Finja felt deeply offended and misunderstood. “I have been communicating with Auntie Finnley since childhood. She was highly influential in my formative years.”

    “How so?” asked Tala.

    “Few people appreciate the importance of hygiene like my Auntie Finnley. She works as a cleaner at the Flying Fish Inn in the Australian Outback. Lovely establishment I gather. But terrible dust.”

    Vera nodded sagely. “A sensible place to survive the apocalypse.”

    “Exactly.” Finja rewarded her with a tight smile.

    Jian raised an eyebrow. “And she’s alive? Your aunt?”

    “I don’t converse with ghosts!” Finja waved a hand dismissively. “They all survived there thanks to the bravery of Aunt Finnley. Had to disinfect the whole inn, mind you. Said it was an absolute nightmare.” Finja shuddered at the thought of it.

    Gregor snorted. “You’re telling us you have a telepathic connection with your aunt in Australia… and she is also mostly concerned about … hygiene?”

    Finja glared at him. “Standards must be maintained,” she admonished. “Even after the end of the world.”

    “Do you talk to anyone else?” Tala asked. “Or is it just your aunt?”

    Finja regarded Tala through slitted eyes. “I’m also talking to Finkley.”

    “Where is this Finkley, dear?” asked Anja gently. “Also at the outback?”

    “OMG,” Finja said. “Can you imagine those two together?” She cackled at the thought, then pulled herself together. “No. Finkley is on the Helix 25. Practically runs it by all accounts. But also keeps it spotless, of course.”

    “Helix 25? The spaceship?” Mikhail asked, suddenly interested. He exchanged glances with Tala who shrugged helplessly.

    Yulia laughed. “She’s definitely mad!”

    “So what? Aren’t we all,” said Petro.

    Molly, who had been quietly watching with Tundra, finally spoke. “And you say they are both… cleaners?” She wasn’t sure what to make of this group. She wondered if it would be better to continue on alone with Tundra? She didn’t want to put the child in any danger.

    “Cleanliness runs in the family,” Finja said. “Now, if you’ll all excuse me, I was mid-conversation.”

    She closed her eyes, concentrating. The group watched with interest as her lips moved silently, her brow furrowed in deep thought.

    Then, suddenly, she opened her eyes and threw her hands in the air.

    “Oh, for goodness’ sake,” she muttered. “Finkley is complaining about dust floating in low gravity. Finnley is complaining about the family not taking their boots off at the door. What a pair of whingers. At least I didn’t inherit THAT.”

    She sniffed, adjusted her backpack, and walked on.

    The others stood there for a moment, letting it all sink in.

    Gregor clapped his hands together. “That was the most wonderfully insane thing I’ve heard since the world ended.”

    Mikhail sighed. “So, we are following the direction of the truck?”

    Anya nodded. “I’ll keep an eye on Finja. The stress is getting to her, and we have no meds if it escalates.”

    #7777

    The Survivors:

    “Well, I’ll be damned,” Gregor said, his face cracking into another toothless grin. “Beginning to think we might be the last ones.”

    “So did we.” Molly glanced nervously around at the odd assortment of people staring at her and Tundra. “I’m Molly. This is Tundra.”

    “Tundra? Like the frozen wasteland?” Yulia asked.

    Tundra nodded. “It’s because I’m strong and tough.”

    “Would you like to join us?” Tala motioned toward the fire.

    “Yes, yes, of course, ” Anya said. “Are you hungry?”

    Molly hesitated, glancing toward the edge of the clearing, where their horses stood tethered to a low branch. “We have food,” she said. “We foraged.”

    “I’d have foraged if someone didn’t keep going on about food poisoning,” Yulia muttered.

    Finja sniffed. “Forgive me for trying to keep you alive.”

    Molly watched the exchange with interest. It had been years since she’d seen people bicker over something so trivial. It was oddly comforting.

    She lowered herself slowly onto the log next to Vera. “Alright, tell me—who exactly are you lot?”

    Petro chuckled. “We’ve escaped from the asylum.”

    Molly’s face remained impassive. “Asylum?”

    “It’s okay,” Tala said quickly. “We’re mostly sane.”

    “Not completely crazy, anyway,” Yulia added cheerfully.

    “We were left behind years ago,” Anya said simply. “So we built our own kind of life.”

    A pause. Molly gave a slow nod, considering this. Vera leaned towards her eagerly.

    “Where are you from? Any noble blood?”

    Molly frowned. “Does it matter?”

    “Oh, not really,” Vera said dejectedly. “I just like knowing.”

    Tundra, warming her hands by the fire, looked at Vera. “We came from Spain.”

    Vera perked up. “Spain? Fascinating! And tell me, dear girl, have you ever traced your lineage?”

    “Just back to Molly. She’s ninety-three,” Tundra said proudly.

    Mikhail, who had been watching quietly, finally spoke. “You travelled all the way from Spain?”

    Molly nodded. “A long time ago. There were more of us then… ” Her voice wavered. “We were looking for other survivors.”

    “And?”Mikhail asked.

    Molly sighed, glancing at Tundra. “We never found any.”

    ________________________________________

    That night, they took turns keeping watch, though Molly tried to reassure them there was no need.

    “At first, we did too,” she had said, shaking her head. “But there was no one…”

    By dawn, the fire had burned to embers, and the camp stirred reluctantly to life.

    They finished off the last of their cooked vegetables from the night before, while Molly and Tundra laid out a handful of foraged berries and mushrooms. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to start the day.

    “Right,” Anya said, stretching. “I suppose we should get moving.” She looked at Molly and Tundra. “You’re coming with us, then? To the city?”

    Molly nodded. “If you’ll have us.”

    “We kept going and going, hoping to find people. Now we have,” Tundra said.

    “Then it’s settled,” Anya said. “We head to the city.”

    “And what exactly are we looking for?” Molly asked.

    Mikhail shrugged. “Anything that keeps us alive.”

    ________________________________________________

    It was late morning when they saw it.

    A vehicle—an old, battered truck, crawling slowly toward them.

    The sight was so absurd, so impossible, that for a moment, no one spoke.

    “That can’t be,” Molly murmured.

    The truck bounced over the uneven ground, its engine a dull, sluggish rattle. It wasn’t in good shape, but it was moving.

    #7733

    Leaving the Asylum

    They argued about whether to close the heavy gates behind them. In the end, they left them open. The metal groaned as it sat ajar, rust flaking from its hinges.

    “Are we all here?” Anya asked. Now that they were leaving, she felt in charge again—or at least, she needed to be. If morale slipped, things would unravel fast. She scanned the group, counting them off.

    “Mikhail,” she started, pointing. “Tala. Vera, our esteemed historian.”

    Vera sniffed. “I prefer genealogist, thank you very much.”

    “Petro,” Anya continued, “probably about to grumble.”

    Petro scowled. “I was thinking.”

    “Jian, our mystery man.”

    Jian raised an eyebrow in acknowledgment.

    Anya turned to the next two. “Ah, the twins. Even though you two have never spoken, I’ve always assumed you understood me. Don’t prove me wrong now.”

    The twins—Luka and Lev—nodded and grinned at exactly the same time.

    “Then we have Yulia… no, we don’t have Yulia. Where in God’s name is Yulia?”

    “Here I am!” Yulia’s voice rang out as she jogged back toward them, breathless. “I just went to say goodbye to the cat.” She sighed dramatically. “I wish we could take him. Please, can we take him?”

    Yulia was short and quick-moving, her restless hands always in motion, her thoughts spilling out just as fast.

    “We can’t,” Mikhail said firmly. “And he can look after himself.”

    She huffed. “Well, I expect we could if we tried.”

    “And finally, old Gregor, who I gather would rather be taking a nap.”

    Gregor, who was well past eighty, rubbed his face and yawned. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

    Anya frowned, scanning the group again. “Wait. We’re missing Finja.”

    A small scraping sound came from behind them.

    Finja stood near the gate, furiously scrubbing the rusted metal with a rag she had pulled from her sleeve. “This place is disgusting,” she muttered. “Filth everywhere. The world may have ended, but that’s no excuse for grime.”

    Anya sighed. “Finja, leave the gate alone.”

    Finja gave it one last wipe before tucking the rag away with a huff. “Fine.”

    Anya shook her head. “That’s eleven. No one’s run off or died yet. A promising start.”

    They formed a motley crew, each carrying as much as they could manage. Mikhail pushed a battered cart, loaded with scavenged supplies—blankets, tools, whatever food they had left.

    The road beneath their feet was cracked and uneven, roots breaking through in places. They followed it in silence for the most part. Even Yulia remained quiet. Some glanced back, but no one turned around.

    The nearest village was more than fifty kilometers away. In all directions, there was only wilderness—fields long overtaken by weeds, trees pushing through cracks in forgotten roads. A skeletal signpost leaned at an odd angle, its lettering long since faded.

    “It’s going to be dark soon,” Mikhail said. “And the old ones are tired. Aren’t you, Vera?”

    “That’s enough of the old business,” puffed Vera, pulling her shoulders back.

    Tala laughed. “Well, I must be an old one. I didn’t sleep a wink last night. And there’s a clearing over there.” She pointed.

    The evening was cool, but they managed to build a small fire and scrape together a meal of vegetables they’d brought from their garden.

    After their meal, they sat around the fire while Finja busied herself tidying up. “Dirty savages,” she muttered under her breath. Then, more loudly, “We should keep watch tonight.”

    Vera, perched on a log, pulled her shawl tightly around her. The glow from the fire cast long shadows across her face.

    “Vera, you look like a witch,” Yulia declared. “We should have brought the cat for you to ride on a broomstick together.”

    “I’ll have you know I’m descended from witches,” Vera replied. “I know none of you think you’re related to me, but just imagine what your great-grandparents would say if they saw us now. Running into the wilderness like a band of exiled aristocrats.”

    Jian, seated nearby, smirked slightly. “My great-grandparents were rice farmers.”

    Vera brightened—Jian never talked about his past. She leaned in conspiratorially. “Do you know your full lineage? Because I do. I know mine back fourteen generations. You’d be amazed how many bloodlines cross without people realizing.”

    Tala shook her head but smiled. Like Petro and Gregor, Vera had been at the asylum for many decades, a relic of another time. She claimed to have been a private investigator and genealogist in her former life.

    Petro, hunched over and rubbing his hands by the fire, muttered, “We’re all ghosts now. Doesn’t matter where we came from.”

    “Oh, stop that, Petro,” Anya admonished. “Remember our plan?”

    “We go to the city,” Jian said. He rarely spoke unless he had something worth saying. “There will be things left behind. Maybe tech, maybe supplies. If I can get into an old server, I might even find something useful.”

    “And if there’s nothing?” Petro moaned. “We should never have left.” He clasped his hands over his head.

    Jian shrugged. “The world doesn’t erase itself overnight.”

    Mikhail nodded. “We rest tonight. Tomorrow, we head for the city. And Finja’s right—tonight we take turns keeping watch.”

    They sat in silence, watching the fire burn low. The evening stretched long and uneasy.

    #7402

    The perfume, ‘Liz n°5’, was to have been Frigella’s piece de resistance. In her spare time, she diligently crafted it, adding all the usual witchy razzmatazz: notes of night jasmine here, a dab of moonflower there and perhaps just the smallest whiff of hemlock to top it off.

    With the help of her familiar, Quillonia, she also wove the potion with her intentions; powerful and ancient spells which would would offer the wearer protection from harm; Liz n°5 was to be the olfactory epitome of Frigella’s magical prowess! She aspired to do more than just freshen up a room; she intended to fortify spirits, boost morale, and ward off influences that might lead their little group of witches into harm’s way. It was her way of doing a silent, scented good, like a secret benefactor in a tale of old.

    Frigella hadn’t told the other witches she was working so hard on the perfume. Even when Malove berated her for the excessive time she was taking to produce anything, Frigella had held her silence. Inwardly though, she bubbled with excitement as she imagined how she would unveil her perfume to the doubting Malove and the other witches. She could all but hear their oohs of admiration and gasps of appreciation. At last Malove would surely be convinced of her worth!

    So when Malove had announced her own plans for a new line of incense, and summarily whisked them all off to the carnival in Rio, Frigella was deflated. And the sense of despondency lingered, even once back at home in Ireland. When she expectantly sniffed her sample of Liz n°5′ , hoping to rekindle her enthusiasm, Frigella discerned it had lost its magic.

    “I’m done with stupid perfume making”, she confided to Quillonia. She was seated outside in the garden of her small cottage, enjoying the last of the day’s sun while Quillonia snuffled around in the leaves. “Malove can stick it,” she added, and giggled guiltily. She sounded like Truella.

    Quillonia’s rustling stopped and her quills shimmered brightly. Her bright little eyes stared intently at Frigella.

    Frigella listened attentively. Quillonia’s quills only turned that particular shade of violet when she had something especially important to convey.

    “Oh, you say I should bottle what makes me truly happy?”

    #6558

    In reply to: Orbs of Madjourneys

    “Nice BMW,” said Yasmin. She pointed towards a shiny black car parked in front of the supermarket. “My Uncle has that model.”

    “Pretty flash,” agreed Sergio. He sniffed and scratched his nose vigorously. Yasmin was amused to notice Zara frown, ever-so-slightly.  Sergio squinted towards the BMW. “Looks like it’s a rental too. Beats this bloody Toyota any day.”

    “Do either of you want to get anything while we are here?” asked Zara brightly. “I’ve got a little stash of snacks back at the Inn …”

    “No I’m good, but I do need to use the loo,” said Yasmin. Her eyes narrowed slightly as she surveyed her surroundings. There’s that garage over the road but it looks a bit dodgy. Wish I’d gone back at the airport now.”

    Zara nodded. “Okay I’ll just get the wine then! See you in a few minutes”

    “The toilet is around the back, but it’s in use,” said a friendly man behind the counter. Yasmin wondered how long before she got used to the distinctive nasally twang of the Aussie accent. She thought briefly of Fred and the mysterious brown parcel in her bag. She thanked the man and perused the shelves while she waited. As she was struggling to choose between a bar of chocolate or a bag of cashew nuts, neither of which she wanted but she felt obligated to buy something, a well-dressed woman stormed in and flung the toilet key at the counter where it bounced and skidded to a stop next to a box of chewing gum. “Disgusting,” Yasmin heard her say before she pivoted on her Gucci-emblazoned trainers and flounced out the door.

    “Looks like the toilet’s free,” said the man with a grin.

    #6265
    TracyTracy
    Participant

      From Tanganyika with Love

      continued  ~ part 6

      With thanks to Mike Rushby.

      Mchewe 6th June 1937

      Dearest Family,

      Home again! We had an uneventful journey. Kate was as good as gold all the
      way. We stopped for an hour at Bulawayo where we had to change trains but
      everything was simplified for me by a very pleasant man whose wife shared my
      compartment. Not only did he see me through customs but he installed us in our new
      train and his wife turned up to see us off with magazines for me and fruit and sweets for
      Kate. Very, very kind, don’t you think?

      Kate and I shared the compartment with a very pretty and gentle girl called
      Clarice Simpson. She was very worried and upset because she was going home to
      Broken Hill in response to a telegram informing her that her young husband was
      dangerously ill from Blackwater Fever. She was very helpful with Kate whose
      cheerfulness helped Clarice, I think, though I, quite unintentionally was the biggest help
      at the end of our journey. Remember the partial dentures I had had made just before
      leaving Cape Town? I know I shall never get used to the ghastly things, I’ve had them
      two weeks now and they still wobble. Well this day I took them out and wrapped them
      in a handkerchief, but when we were packing up to leave the train I could find the
      handkerchief but no teeth! We searched high and low until the train had slowed down to
      enter Broken Hill station. Then Clarice, lying flat on the floor, spied the teeth in the dark
      corner under the bottom bunk. With much stretching she managed to retrieve the
      dentures covered in grime and fluff. My look of horror, when I saw them, made young
      Clarice laugh. She was met at the station by a very grave elderly couple. I do wonder
      how things turned out for her.

      I stayed overnight with Kate at the Great Northern Hotel, and we set off for
      Mbeya by plane early in the morning. One of our fellow passengers was a young
      mother with a three week old baby. How ideas have changed since Ann was born. This
      time we had a smooth passage and I was the only passenger to get airsick. Although
      there were other women passengers it was a man once again, who came up and
      offered to help. Kate went off with him amiably and he entertained her until we touched
      down at Mbeya.

      George was there to meet us with a wonderful surprise, a little red two seater
      Ford car. She is a bit battered and looks a bit odd because the boot has been
      converted into a large wooden box for carrying raw salt, but she goes like the wind.
      Where did George raise the cash to buy a car? Whilst we were away he found a small
      cave full of bat guano near a large cave which is worked by a man called Bob Sargent.
      As Sargent did not want any competition he bought the contents of the cave from
      George giving him the small car as part payment.

      It was lovely to return to our little home and find everything fresh and tidy and the
      garden full of colour. But it was heartbreaking to go into the bedroom and see George’s
      precious forgotten boots still standing by his empty bed.

      With much love,
      Eleanor.

      Mchewe 25th June 1937

      Dearest Family,

      Last Friday George took Kate and me in the little red Ford to visit Mr Sargent’s
      camp on the Songwe River which cuts the Mbeya-Mbosi road. Mr Sargent bought
      Hicky-Wood’s guano deposit and also our small cave and is making a good living out of
      selling the bat guano to the coffee farmers in this province. George went to try to interest
      him in a guano deposit near Kilwa in the Southern Province. Mr Sargent agreed to pay
      25 pounds to cover the cost of the car trip and pegging costs. George will make the trip
      to peg the claim and take samples for analysis. If the quality is sufficiently high, George
      and Mr Sargent will go into partnership. George will work the claim and ship out the
      guano from Kilwa which is on the coast of the Southern Province of Tanganyika. So now
      we are busy building castles in the air once more.

      On Saturday we went to Mbeya where George had to attend a meeting of the
      Trout Association. In the afternoon he played in a cricket match so Kate and I spent the
      whole day with the wife of the new Superintendent of Police. They have a very nice
      new house with lawns and a sunken rose garden. Kate had a lovely romp with Kit, her
      three year old son.

      Mrs Wolten also has two daughters by a previous marriage. The elder girl said to
      me, “Oh Mrs Rushby your husband is exactly like the strong silent type of man I
      expected to see in Africa but he is the only one I have seen. I think he looks exactly like
      those men in the ‘Barney’s Tobacco’ advertisements.”

      I went home with a huge pile of magazines to keep me entertained whilst
      George is away on the Kilwa trip.

      Lots of love,
      Eleanor.

      Mchewe 9th July 1937

      Dearest Family,

      George returned on Monday from his Kilwa safari. He had an entertaining
      tale to tell.

      Before he approached Mr Sargent about going shares in the Kilwa guano
      deposit he first approached a man on the Lupa who had done very well out of a small
      gold reef. This man, however said he was not interested so you can imagine how
      indignant George was when he started on his long trip, to find himself being trailed by
      this very man and a co-driver in a powerful Ford V8 truck. George stopped his car and
      had some heated things to say – awful threats I imagine as to what would happen to
      anyone who staked his claim. Then he climbed back into our ancient little two seater and
      went off like a bullet driving all day and most of the night. As the others took turns in
      driving you can imagine what a feat it was for George to arrive in Kilwa ahead of them.
      When they drove into Kilwa he met them with a bright smile and a bit of bluff –
      quite justifiable under the circumstances I think. He said, you chaps can have a rest now,
      you’re too late.” He then whipped off and pegged the claim. he brought some samples
      of guano back but until it has been analysed he will not know whether the guano will be
      an economic proposition or not. George is not very hopeful. He says there is a good
      deal of sand mixed with the guano and that much of it was damp.

      The trip was pretty eventful for Kianda, our houseboy. The little two seater car
      had been used by its previous owner for carting bags of course salt from his salt pans.
      For this purpose the dicky seat behind the cab had been removed, and a kind of box
      built into the boot of the car. George’s camp kit and provisions were packed into this
      open box and Kianda perched on top to keep an eye on the belongings. George
      travelled so fast on the rough road that at some point during the night Kianda was
      bumped off in the middle of the Game Reserve. George did not notice that he was
      missing until the next morning. He concluded, quite rightly as it happened, that Kianda
      would be picked up by the rival truck so he continued his journey and Kianda rejoined
      him at Kilwa.

      Believe it or not, the same thing happened on the way back but fortunately this
      time George noticed his absence. He stopped the car and had just started back on his
      tracks when Kianda came running down the road still clutching the unlighted storm lamp
      which he was holding in his hand when he fell. The glass was not even cracked.
      We are finding it difficult just now to buy native chickens and eggs. There has
      been an epidemic amongst the poultry and one hesitates to eat the survivors. I have a
      brine tub in which I preserve our surplus meat but I need the chickens for soup.
      I hope George will be home for some months. He has arranged to take a Mr
      Blackburn, a wealthy fruit farmer from Elgin, Cape, on a hunting safari during September
      and October and that should bring in some much needed cash. Lillian Eustace has
      invited Kate and me to spend the whole of October with her in Tukuyu.
      I am so glad that you so much enjoy having Ann and George with you. We miss
      them dreadfully. Kate is a pretty little girl and such a little madam. You should hear the
      imperious way in which she calls the kitchenboy for her meals. “Boy Brekkis, Boy Lunch,
      and Boy Eggy!” are her three calls for the day. She knows no Ki-Swahili.

      Eleanor

      Mchewe 8th October 1937

      Dearest Family,

      I am rapidly becoming as superstitious as our African boys. They say the wild
      animals always know when George is away from home and come down to have their
      revenge on me because he has killed so many.

      I am being besieged at night by a most beastly leopard with a half grown cub. I
      have grown used to hearing leopards grunt as they hunt in the hills at night but never
      before have I had one roaming around literally under the windows. It has been so hot at
      night lately that I have been sleeping with my bedroom door open onto the verandah. I
      felt quite safe because the natives hereabouts are law-abiding and in any case I always
      have a boy armed with a club sleeping in the kitchen just ten yards away. As an added
      precaution I also have a loaded .45 calibre revolver on my bedside table, and Fanny
      our bullterrier, sleeps on the mat by my bed. I am also looking after Barney, a fine
      Airedale dog belonging to the Costers. He slept on a mat by the open bedroom door
      near a dimly burning storm lamp.

      As usual I went to sleep with an easy mind on Monday night, but was awakened
      in the early hours of Tuesday by the sound of a scuffle on the front verandah. The noise
      was followed by a scream of pain from Barney. I jumped out of bed and, grabbing the
      lamp with my left hand and the revolver in my right, I rushed outside just in time to see
      two animal figures roll over the edge of the verandah into the garden below. There they
      engaged in a terrific tug of war. Fortunately I was too concerned for Barney to be
      nervous. I quickly fired two shots from the revolver, which incidentally makes a noise like
      a cannon, and I must have startled the leopard for both animals, still locked together,
      disappeared over the edge of the terrace. I fired two more shots and in a few moments
      heard the leopard making a hurried exit through the dry leaves which lie thick under the
      wild fig tree just beyond the terrace. A few seconds later Barney appeared on the low
      terrace wall. I called his name but he made no move to come but stood with hanging
      head. In desperation I rushed out, felt blood on my hands when I touched him, so I
      picked him up bodily and carried him into the house. As I regained the verandah the boy
      appeared, club in hand, having been roused by the shots. He quickly grasped what had
      happened when he saw my blood saturated nightie. He fetched a bowl of water and a
      clean towel whilst I examined Barney’s wounds. These were severe, the worst being a
      gaping wound in his throat. I washed the gashes with a strong solution of pot permang
      and I am glad to say they are healing remarkably well though they are bound to leave
      scars. Fanny, very prudently, had taken no part in the fighting except for frenzied barking
      which she kept up all night. The shots had of course wakened Kate but she seemed
      more interested than alarmed and kept saying “Fanny bark bark, Mummy bang bang.
      Poor Barney lots of blood.”

      In the morning we inspected the tracks in the garden. There was a shallow furrow
      on the terrace where Barney and the leopard had dragged each other to and fro and
      claw marks on the trunk of the wild fig tree into which the leopard climbed after I fired the
      shots. The affair was of course a drama after the Africans’ hearts and several of our
      shamba boys called to see me next day to make sympathetic noises and discuss the
      affair.

      I went to bed early that night hoping that the leopard had been scared off for
      good but I must confess I shut all windows and doors. Alas for my hopes of a restful
      night. I had hardly turned down the lamp when the leopard started its terrifying grunting
      just under the bedroom windows. If only she would sniff around quietly I should not
      mind, but the noise is ghastly, something like the first sickening notes of a braying
      donkey, amplified here by the hills and the gorge which is only a stones throw from the
      bedroom. Barney was too sick to bark but Fanny barked loud enough for two and the more
      frantic she became the hungrier the leopard sounded. Kate of course woke up and this
      time she was frightened though I assured her that the noise was just a donkey having
      fun. Neither of us slept until dawn when the leopard returned to the hills. When we
      examined the tracks next morning we found that the leopard had been accompanied by
      a fair sized cub and that together they had prowled around the house, kitchen, and out
      houses, visiting especially the places to which the dogs had been during the day.
      As I feel I cannot bear many more of these nights, I am sending a note to the
      District Commissioner, Mbeya by the messenger who takes this letter to the post,
      asking him to send a game scout or an armed policeman to deal with the leopard.
      So don’t worry, for by the time this reaches you I feel sure this particular trouble
      will be over.

      Eleanor.

      Mchewe 17th October 1937

      Dearest Family,

      More about the leopard I fear! My messenger returned from Mbeya to say that
      the District Officer was on safari so he had given the message to the Assistant District
      Officer who also apparently left on safari later without bothering to reply to my note, so
      there was nothing for me to do but to send for the village Nimrod and his muzzle loader
      and offer him a reward if he could frighten away or kill the leopard.

      The hunter, Laza, suggested that he should sleep at the house so I went to bed
      early leaving Laza and his two pals to make themselves comfortable on the living room
      floor by the fire. Laza was armed with a formidable looking muzzle loader, crammed I
      imagine with nuts and bolts and old rusty nails. One of his pals had a spear and the other
      a panga. This fellow was also in charge of the Petromax pressure lamp whose light was
      hidden under a packing case. I left the campaign entirely to Laza’s direction.
      As usual the leopard came at midnight stealing down from the direction of the
      kitchen and announcing its presence and position with its usual ghastly grunts. Suddenly
      pandemonium broke loose on the back verandah. I heard the roar of the muzzle loader
      followed by a vigourous tattoo beaten on an empty paraffin tin and I rushed out hoping
      to find the dead leopard. however nothing of the kind had happened except that the
      noise must have scared the beast because she did not return again that night. Next
      morning Laza solemnly informed me that, though he had shot many leopards in his day,
      this was no ordinary leopard but a “sheitani” (devil) and that as his gun was no good
      against witchcraft he thought he might as well retire from the hunt. Scared I bet, and I
      don’t blame him either.

      You can imagine my relief when a car rolled up that afternoon bringing Messers
      Stewart and Griffiths, two farmers who live about 15 miles away, between here and
      Mbeya. They had a note from the Assistant District Officer asking them to help me and
      they had come to set up a trap gun in the garden. That night the leopard sniffed all
      around the gun and I had the added strain of waiting for the bang and wondering what I
      should do if the beast were only wounded. I conjured up horrible visions of the two little
      totos trotting up the garden path with the early morning milk and being horribly mauled,
      but I needn’t have worried because the leopard was far too wily to be caught that way.
      Two more ghastly nights passed and then I had another visitor, a Dr Jackson of
      the Tsetse Department on safari in the District. He listened sympathetically to my story
      and left his shotgun and some SSG cartridges with me and instructed me to wait until the
      leopard was pretty close and blow its b—– head off. It was good of him to leave his
      gun. George always says there are three things a man should never lend, ‘His wife, his
      gun and his dog.’ (I think in that order!)I felt quite cheered by Dr Jackson’s visit and sent
      once again for Laza last night and arranged a real show down. In the afternoon I draped
      heavy blankets over the living room windows to shut out the light of the pressure lamp
      and the four of us, Laza and his two stooges and I waited up for the leopard. When we
      guessed by her grunts that she was somewhere between the kitchen and the back door
      we all rushed out, first the boy with the panga and the lamp, next Laza with his muzzle
      loader, then me with the shotgun followed closely by the boy with the spear. What a
      farce! The lamp was our undoing. We were blinded by the light and did not even
      glimpse the leopard which made off with a derisive grunt. Laza said smugly that he knew
      it was hopeless to try and now I feel tired and discouraged too.

      This morning I sent a runner to Mbeya to order the hotel taxi for tomorrow and I
      shall go to friends in Mbeya for a day or two and then on to Tukuyu where I shall stay
      with the Eustaces until George returns from Safari.

      Eleanor.

      Mchewe 18th November 1937

      My darling Ann,

      Here we are back in our own home and how lovely it is to have Daddy back from
      safari. Thank you very much for your letter. I hope by now you have got mine telling you
      how very much I liked the beautiful tray cloth you made for my birthday. I bet there are
      not many little girls of five who can embroider as well as you do, darling. The boy,
      Matafari, washes and irons it so carefully and it looks lovely on the tea tray.

      Daddy and I had some fun last night. I was in bed and Daddy was undressing
      when we heard a funny scratching noise on the roof. I thought it was the leopard. Daddy
      quickly loaded his shotgun and ran outside. He had only his shirt on and he looked so
      funny. I grabbed the loaded revolver from the cupboard and ran after Dad in my nightie
      but after all the rush it was only your cat, Winnie, though I don’t know how she managed
      to make such a noise. We felt so silly, we laughed and laughed.

      Kate talks a lot now but in such a funny way you would laugh to her her. She
      hears the houseboys call me Memsahib so sometimes instead of calling me Mummy
      she calls me “Oompaab”. She calls the bedroom a ‘bippon’ and her little behind she
      calls her ‘sittendump’. She loves to watch Mandawi’s cattle go home along the path
      behind the kitchen. Joseph your donkey, always leads the cows. He has a lazy life now.
      I am glad you had such fun on Guy Fawkes Day. You will be sad to leave
      Plumstead but I am sure you will like going to England on the big ship with granny Kate.
      I expect you will start school when you get to England and I am sure you will find that
      fun.

      God bless my dear little girl. Lots of love from Daddy and Kate,
      and Mummy

      Mchewe 18th November 1937

      Hello George Darling,

      Thank you for your lovely drawing of Daddy shooting an elephant. Daddy says
      that the only thing is that you have drawn him a bit too handsome.

      I went onto the verandah a few minutes ago to pick a banana for Kate from the
      bunch hanging there and a big hornet flew out and stung my elbow! There are lots of
      them around now and those stinging flies too. Kate wears thick corduroy dungarees so
      that she will not get her fat little legs bitten. She is two years old now and is a real little
      pickle. She loves running out in the rain so I have ordered a pair of red Wellingtons and a
      tiny umbrella from a Nairobi shop for her Christmas present.

      Fanny’s puppies have their eyes open now and have very sharp little teeth.
      They love to nip each other. We are keeping the fiercest little one whom we call Paddy
      but are giving the others to friends. The coffee bushes are full of lovely white flowers
      and the bees and ants are very busy stealing their honey.

      Yesterday a troop of baboons came down the hill and Dad shot a big one to
      scare the others off. They are a nuisance because they steal the maize and potatoes
      from the native shambas and then there is not enough food for the totos.
      Dad and I are very proud of you for not making a fuss when you went to the
      dentist to have that tooth out.

      Bye bye, my fine little son.
      Three bags full of love from Kate, Dad and Mummy.

      Mchewe 12th February, 1938

      Dearest Family,

      here is some news that will please you. George has been offered and has
      accepted a job as Forester at Mbulu in the Northern Province of Tanganyika. George
      would have preferred a job as Game Ranger, but though the Game Warden, Philip
      Teare, is most anxious to have him in the Game Department, there is no vacancy at
      present. Anyway if one crops up later, George can always transfer from one
      Government Department to another. Poor George, he hates the idea of taking a job. He
      says that hitherto he has always been his own master and he detests the thought of
      being pushed around by anyone.

      Now however he has no choice. Our capitol is almost exhausted and the coffee
      market shows no signs of improving. With three children and another on the way, he
      feels he simply must have a fixed income. I shall be sad to leave this little farm. I love
      our little home and we have been so very happy here, but my heart rejoices at the
      thought of overseas leave every thirty months. Now we shall be able to fetch Ann and
      George from England and in three years time we will all be together in Tanganyika once
      more.

      There is no sale for farms so we will just shut the house and keep on a very small
      labour force just to keep the farm from going derelict. We are eating our hens but will
      take our two dogs, Fanny and Paddy with us.

      One thing I shall be glad to leave is that leopard. She still comes grunting around
      at night but not as badly as she did before. I do not mind at all when George is here but
      until George was accepted for this forestry job I was afraid he might go back to the
      Diggings and I should once more be left alone to be cursed by the leopard’s attentions.
      Knowing how much I dreaded this George was most anxious to shoot the leopard and
      for weeks he kept his shotgun and a powerful torch handy at night.

      One night last week we woke to hear it grunting near the kitchen. We got up very
      quietly and whilst George loaded the shotgun with SSG, I took the torch and got the
      heavy revolver from the cupboard. We crept out onto the dark verandah where George
      whispered to me to not switch on the torch until he had located the leopard. It was pitch
      black outside so all he could do was listen intently. And then of course I spoilt all his
      plans. I trod on the dog’s tin bowl and made a terrific clatter! George ordered me to
      switch on the light but it was too late and the leopard vanished into the long grass of the
      Kalonga, grunting derisively, or so it sounded.

      She never comes into the clearing now but grunts from the hillside just above it.

      Eleanor.

      Mbulu 18th March, 1938

      Dearest Family,

      Journeys end at last. here we are at Mbulu, installed in our new quarters which are
      as different as they possibly could be from our own cosy little home at Mchewe. We
      live now, my dears, in one wing of a sort of ‘Beau Geste’ fort but I’ll tell you more about
      it in my next letter. We only arrived yesterday and have not had time to look around.
      This letter will tell you just about our trip from Mbeya.

      We left the farm in our little red Ford two seater with all our portable goods and
      chattels plus two native servants and the two dogs. Before driving off, George took one
      look at the flattened springs and declared that he would be surprised if we reached
      Mbeya without a breakdown and that we would never make Mbulu with the car so
      overloaded.

      However luck was with us. We reached Mbeya without mishap and at one of the
      local garages saw a sturdy used Ford V8 boxbody car for sale. The garage agreed to
      take our small car as part payment and George drew on our little remaining capitol for the
      rest. We spent that night in the house of the Forest Officer and next morning set out in
      comfort for the Northern Province of Tanganyika.

      I had done the journey from Dodoma to Mbeya seven years before so was
      familiar with the scenery but the road was much improved and the old pole bridges had
      been replaced by modern steel ones. Kate was as good as gold all the way. We
      avoided hotels and camped by the road and she found this great fun.
      The road beyond Dodoma was new to me and very interesting country, flat and
      dry and dusty, as little rain falls there. The trees are mostly thorn trees but here and there
      one sees a giant baobab, weird trees with fantastically thick trunks and fat squat branches
      with meagre foliage. The inhabitants of this area I found interesting though. They are
      called Wagogo and are a primitive people who ape the Masai in dress and customs
      though they are much inferior to the Masai in physique. They are also great herders of
      cattle which, rather surprisingly, appear to thrive in that dry area.

      The scenery alters greatly as one nears Babati, which one approaches by a high
      escarpment from which one has a wonderful view of the Rift Valley. Babati township
      appears to be just a small group of Indian shops and shabby native houses, but I
      believe there are some good farms in the area. Though the little township is squalid,
      there is a beautiful lake and grand mountains to please the eye. We stopped only long
      enough to fill up with petrol and buy some foodstuffs. Beyond Babati there is a tsetse
      fly belt and George warned our two native servants to see that no tsetse flies settled on
      the dogs.

      We stopped for the night in a little rest house on the road about 80 miles from
      Arusha where we were to spend a few days with the Forest Officer before going on to
      Mbulu. I enjoyed this section of the road very much because it runs across wide plains
      which are bounded on the West by the blue mountains of the Rift Valley wall. Here for
      the first time I saw the Masai on their home ground guarding their vast herds of cattle. I
      also saw their strange primitive hovels called Manyattas, with their thorn walled cattle
      bomas and lots of plains game – giraffe, wildebeest, ostriches and antelope. Kate was
      wildly excited and entranced with the game especially the giraffe which stood gazing
      curiously and unafraid of us, often within a few yards of the road.

      Finally we came across the greatest thrill of all, my first view of Mt Meru the extinct
      volcano about 16,000 feet high which towers over Arusha township. The approach to
      Arusha is through flourishing coffee plantations very different alas from our farm at Mchewe. George says that at Arusha coffee growing is still a paying proposition
      because here the yield of berry per acre is much higher than in the Southern highlands
      and here in the North the farmers have not such heavy transport costs as the railway runs
      from Arusha to the port at Tanga.

      We stayed overnight at a rather second rate hotel but the food was good and we
      had hot baths and a good nights rest. Next day Tom Lewis the Forest Officer, fetched
      us and we spent a few days camping in a tent in the Lewis’ garden having meals at their
      home. Both Tom and Lillian Lewis were most friendly. Tom lewis explained to George
      what his work in the Mbulu District was to be, and they took us camping in a Forest
      Reserve where Lillian and her small son David and Kate and I had a lovely lazy time
      amidst beautiful surroundings. Before we left for Mbulu, Lillian took me shopping to buy
      material for curtains for our new home. She described the Forest House at Mbulu to me
      and it sounded delightful but alas, when we reached Mbulu we discovered that the
      Assistant District Officer had moved into the Forest House and we were directed to the
      Fort or Boma. The night before we left Arusha for Mbulu it rained very heavily and the
      road was very treacherous and slippery due to the surface being of ‘black cotton’ soil
      which has the appearance and consistency of chocolate blancmange, after rain. To get to
      Mbulu we had to drive back in the direction of Dodoma for some 70 miles and then turn
      to the right and drive across plains to the Great Rift Valley Wall. The views from this
      escarpment road which climbs this wall are magnificent. At one point one looks down
      upon Lake Manyara with its brilliant white beaches of soda.

      The drive was a most trying one for George. We had no chains for the wheels
      and several times we stuck in the mud and our two houseboys had to put grass and
      branches under the wheels to stop them from spinning. Quite early on in the afternoon
      George gave up all hope of reaching Mbulu that day and planned to spend the night in
      a little bush rest camp at Karatu. However at one point it looked as though we would not
      even reach this resthouse for late afternoon found us properly bogged down in a mess
      of mud at the bottom of a long and very steep hill. In spite of frantic efforts on the part of
      George and the two boys, all now very wet and muddy, the heavy car remained stuck.
      Suddenly five Masai men appeared through the bushes beside the road. They
      were all tall and angular and rather terrifying looking to me. Each wore only a blanket
      knotted over one shoulder and all were armed with spears. They lined up by the side of
      the road and just looked – not hostile but simply aloof and supercilious. George greeted
      them and said in Ki-Swahili, “Help to push and I will reward you.” But they said nothing,
      just drawing back imperceptibly to register disgust at the mere idea of manual labour.
      Their expressions said quite clearly “A Masai is a warrior and does not soil his hands.”
      George then did something which startled them I think, as much as me. He
      plucked their spears from their hands one by one and flung them into the back of the
      boxbody. “Now push!” he said, “And when we are safely out of the mud you shall have
      your spears back.” To my utter astonishment the Masai seemed to applaud George’s
      action. I think they admire courage in a man more than anything else. They pushed with a
      will and soon we were roaring up the long steep slope. “I can’t stop here” quoth George
      as up and up we went. The Masai were in mad pursuit with their blankets streaming
      behind. They took a very steep path which was a shortcut to the top. They are certainly
      amazing athletes and reached the top at the same time as the car. Their route of course
      was shorter but much more steep, yet they came up without any sign of fatigue to claim
      their spears and the money which George handed out with a friendly grin. The Masai
      took the whole episode in good heart and we parted on the most friendly terms.

      After a rather chilly night in the three walled shack, we started on the last lap of our
      journey yesterday morning in bright weather and made the trip to Mbulu without incident.

      Eleanor.

      Mbulu 24th March, 1938

      Dearest Family,

      Mbulu is an attractive station but living in this rather romantic looking fort has many
      disadvantages. Our quarters make up one side of the fort which is built up around a
      hollow square. The buildings are single storied but very tall in the German manner and
      there is a tower on one corner from which the Union Jack flies. The tower room is our
      sitting room, and one has very fine views from the windows of the rolling country side.
      However to reach this room one has to climb a steep flight of cement steps from the
      court yard. Another disadvantage of this tower room is that there is a swarm of bees in
      the roof and the stray ones drift down through holes in the ceiling and buzz angrily
      against the window panes or fly around in a most menacing manner.

      Ours are the only private quarters in the Fort. Two other sides of the Fort are
      used as offices, storerooms and court room and the fourth side is simply a thick wall with
      battlements and loopholes and a huge iron shod double door of enormous thickness
      which is always barred at sunset when the flag is hauled down. Two Police Askari always
      remain in the Fort on guard at night. The effect from outside the whitewashed fort is very
      romantic but inside it is hardly homely and how I miss my garden at Mchewe and the
      grass and trees.

      We have no privacy downstairs because our windows overlook the bare
      courtyard which is filled with Africans patiently waiting to be admitted to the courtroom as
      witnesses or spectators. The outside windows which overlook the valley are heavily
      barred. I can only think that the Germans who built this fort must have been very scared
      of the local natives.

      Our rooms are hardly cosy and are furnished with typical heavy German pieces.
      We have a vast bleak bedroom, a dining room and an enormous gloomy kitchen in
      which meals for the German garrison were cooked. At night this kitchen is alive with
      gigantic rats but fortunately they do not seem to care for the other rooms. To crown
      everything owls hoot and screech at night on the roof.

      On our first day here I wandered outside the fort walls with Kate and came upon a
      neatly fenced plot enclosing the graves of about fifteen South African soldiers killed by
      the Germans in the 1914-18 war. I understand that at least one of theses soldiers died in
      the courtyard here. The story goes, that during the period in the Great War when this fort
      was occupied by a troop of South African Horse, a German named Siedtendorf
      appeared at the great barred door at night and asked to speak to the officer in command
      of the Troop. The officer complied with this request and the small shutter in the door was
      opened so that he could speak with the German. The German, however, had not come
      to speak. When he saw the exposed face of the officer, he fired, killing him, and
      escaped into the dark night. I had this tale on good authority but cannot vouch for it. I do
      know though, that there are two bullet holes in the door beside the shutter. An unhappy
      story to think about when George is away, as he is now, and the moonlight throws queer
      shadows in the court yard and the owls hoot.

      However though I find our quarters depressing, I like Mbulu itself very much. It is
      rolling country, treeless except for the plantations of the Forestry Dept. The land is very
      fertile in the watered valleys but the grass on hills and plains is cropped to the roots by
      the far too numerous cattle and goats. There are very few Europeans on the station, only
      Mr Duncan, the District Officer, whose wife and children recently left for England, the
      Assistant District Officer and his wife, a bachelor Veterinary Officer, a Road Foreman and
      ourselves, and down in the village a German with an American wife and an elderly
      Irishman whom I have not met. The Government officials have a communal vegetable
      garden in the valley below the fort which keeps us well supplied with green stuff. 

      Most afternoons George, Kate and I go for walks after tea. On Fridays there is a
      little ceremony here outside the fort. In the late afternoon a little procession of small
      native schoolboys, headed by a drum and penny whistle band come marching up the
      road to a tune which sounds like ‘Two lovely black eyes”. They form up below our tower
      and as the flag is lowered for the day they play ‘God save the King’, and then march off
      again. It is quite a cheerful little ceremony.

      The local Africans are a skinny lot and, I should say, a poor tribe. They protect
      themselves against the cold by wrapping themselves in cotton blankets or a strip of
      unbleached sheeting. This they drape over their heads, almost covering their faces and
      the rest is wrapped closely round their bodies in the manner of a shroud. A most
      depressing fashion. They live in very primitive comfortless houses. They simply make a
      hollow in the hillside and build a front wall of wattle and daub. Into this rude shelter at night
      go cattle and goats, men, women, and children.

      Mbulu village has the usual mud brick and wattle dukas and wattle and daub
      houses. The chief trader is a Goan who keeps a surprisingly good variety of tinned
      foodstuffs and also sells hardware and soft goods.

      The Europeans here have been friendly but as you will have noted there are
      only two other women on station and no children at all to be companions for Kate.

      Eleanor.

      Mbulu 20th June 1938

      Dearest Family,

      Here we are on Safari with George at Babati where we are occupying a rest
      house on the slopes of Ufiome Mountain. The slopes are a Forest Reserve and
      George is supervising the clearing of firebreaks in preparation for the dry weather. He
      goes off after a very early breakfast and returns home in the late afternoon so Kate and I
      have long lazy days.

      Babati is a pleasant spot and the resthouse is quite comfortable. It is about a mile
      from the village which is just the usual collection of small mud brick and corrugated iron
      Indian Dukas. There are a few settlers in the area growing coffee, or going in for mixed
      farming but I don’t think they are doing very well. The farm adjoining the rest house is
      owned by Lord Lovelace but is run by a manager.

      George says he gets enough exercise clambering about all day on the mountain,
      so Kate and I do our walking in the mornings when George is busy, and we all relax in
      the evenings when George returns from his field work. Kate’s favourite walk is to the big
      block of mtama (sorghum) shambas lower down the hill. There are huge swarms of tiny
      grain eating birds around waiting the chance to plunder the mtama, so the crops are
      watched from sunrise to sunset.

      Crude observation platforms have been erected for this purpose in the centre of
      each field and the women and the young boys of the family concerned, take it in turn to
      occupy the platform and scare the birds. Each watcher has a sling and uses clods of
      earth for ammunition. The clod is placed in the centre of the sling which is then whirled
      around at arms length. Suddenly one end of the sling is released and the clod of earth
      flies out and shatters against the mtama stalks. The sling makes a loud whip like crack and
      the noise is quite startling and very effective in keeping the birds at a safe distance.

      Eleanor.

      Karatu 3rd July 1938

      Dearest Family,

      Still on safari you see! We left Babati ten days ago and passed through Mbulu
      on our way to this spot. We slept out of doors one night beside Lake Tiawa about eight
      miles from Mbulu. It was a peaceful spot and we enjoyed watching the reflection of the
      sunset on the lake and the waterhens and duck and pelicans settling down for the night.
      However it turned piercingly cold after sunset so we had an early supper and then all
      three of us lay down to sleep in the back of the boxbody (station wagon). It was a tight
      fit and a real case of ‘When Dad turns, we all turn.’

      Here at Karatu we are living in a grass hut with only three walls. It is rather sweet
      and looks like the setting for a Nativity Play. Kate and I share the only camp bed and
      George and the dogs sleep on the floor. The air here is very fresh and exhilarating and
      we all feel very fit. George is occupied all day supervising the cutting of firebreaks
      around existing plantations and the forest reserve of indigenous trees. Our camp is on
      the hillside and below us lie the fertile wheat lands of European farmers.

      They are mostly Afrikaners, the descendants of the Boer families who were
      invited by the Germans to settle here after the Boer War. Most of them are pro-British
      now and a few have called in here to chat to George about big game hunting. George
      gets on extremely well with them and recently attended a wedding where he had a
      lively time dancing at the reception. He likes the older people best as most are great
      individualists. One fine old man, surnamed von Rooyen, visited our camp. He is a Boer
      of the General Smuts type with spare figure and bearded face. George tells me he is a
      real patriarch with an enormous family – mainly sons. This old farmer fought against the
      British throughout the Boer War under General Smuts and again against the British in the
      German East Africa campaign when he was a scout and right hand man to Von Lettow. It
      is said that Von Lettow was able to stay in the field until the end of the Great War
      because he listened to the advise given to him by von Rooyen. However his dislike for
      the British does not extend to George as they have a mutual interest in big game
      hunting.

      Kate loves being on safari. She is now so accustomed to having me as her nurse
      and constant companion that I do not know how she will react to paid help. I shall have to
      get someone to look after her during my confinement in the little German Red Cross
      hospital at Oldeani.

      George has obtained permission from the District Commissioner, for Kate and
      me to occupy the Government Rest House at Oldeani from the end of July until the end
      of August when my baby is due. He will have to carry on with his field work but will join
      us at weekends whenever possible.

      Eleanor.

      Karatu 12th July 1938

      Dearest Family,

      Not long now before we leave this camp. We have greatly enjoyed our stay
      here in spite of the very chilly earl mornings and the nights when we sit around in heavy
      overcoats until our early bed time.

      Last Sunday I persuaded George to take Kate and me to the famous Ngoro-
      Ngoro Crater. He was not very keen to do so because the road is very bumpy for
      anyone in my interesting condition but I feel so fit that I was most anxious to take this
      opportunity of seeing the enormous crater. We may never be in this vicinity again and in
      any case safari will not be so simple with a small baby.

      What a wonderful trip it was! The road winds up a steep escarpment from which
      one gets a glorious birds eye view of the plains of the Great Rift Valley far, far below.
      The crater is immense. There is a road which skirts the rim in places and one has quite
      startling views of the floor of the crater about two thousand feet below.

      A camp for tourists has just been built in a clearing in the virgin forest. It is most
      picturesque as the camp buildings are very neatly constructed log cabins with very high
      pitched thatched roofs. We spent about an hour sitting on the grass near the edge of the
      crater enjoying the sunshine and the sharp air and really awe inspiring view. Far below us
      in the middle of the crater was a small lake and we could see large herds of game
      animals grazing there but they were too far away to be impressive, even seen through
      George’s field glasses. Most appeared to be wildebeest and zebra but I also picked
      out buffalo. Much more exciting was my first close view of a wild elephant. George
      pointed him out to me as we approached the rest camp on the inward journey. He
      stood quietly under a tree near the road and did not seem to be disturbed by the car
      though he rolled a wary eye in our direction. On our return journey we saw him again at
      almost uncomfortably close quarters. We rounded a sharp corner and there stood the
      elephant, facing us and slap in the middle of the road. He was busily engaged giving
      himself a dust bath but spared time to give us an irritable look. Fortunately we were on a
      slight slope so George quickly switched off the engine and backed the car quietly round
      the corner. He got out of the car and loaded his rifle, just in case! But after he had finished
      his toilet the elephant moved off the road and we took our chance and passed without
      incident.

      One notices the steepness of the Ngoro-Ngoro road more on the downward
      journey than on the way up. The road is cut into the side of the mountain so that one has
      a steep slope on one hand and a sheer drop on the other. George told me that a lorry
      coming down the mountain was once charged from behind by a rhino. On feeling and
      hearing the bash from behind the panic stricken driver drove off down the mountain as
      fast as he dared and never paused until he reached level ground at the bottom of the
      mountain. There was no sign of the rhino so the driver got out to examine his lorry and
      found the rhino horn embedded in the wooden tail end of the lorry. The horn had been
      wrenched right off!

      Happily no excitement of that kind happened to us. I have yet to see a rhino.

      Eleanor.

      Oldeani. 19th July 1938

      Dearest Family,

      Greetings from a lady in waiting! Kate and I have settled down comfortably in the
      new, solidly built Government Rest House which comprises one large living room and
      one large office with a connecting door. Outside there is a kitchen and a boys quarter.
      There are no resident Government officials here at Oldeani so the office is in use only
      when the District Officer from Mbulu makes his monthly visit. However a large Union
      Jack flies from a flagpole in the front of the building as a gentle reminder to the entirely
      German population of Oldeani that Tanganyika is now under British rule.

      There is quite a large community of German settlers here, most of whom are
      engaged in coffee farming. George has visited several of the farms in connection with his
      forestry work and says the coffee plantations look very promising indeed. There are also
      a few German traders in the village and there is a large boarding school for German
      children and also a very pleasant little hospital where I have arranged to have the baby.
      Right next door to the Rest House is a General Dealers Store run by a couple named
      Schnabbe. The shop is stocked with drapery, hardware, china and foodstuffs all
      imported from Germany and of very good quality. The Schnabbes also sell local farm
      produce, beautiful fresh vegetables, eggs and pure rich milk and farm butter. Our meat
      comes from a German butchery and it is a great treat to get clean, well cut meat. The
      sausages also are marvellous and in great variety.

      The butcher is an entertaining character. When he called round looking for custom I
      expected him to break out in a yodel any minute, as it was obvious from a glance that
      the Alps are his natural background. From under a green Tyrollean hat with feather,
      blooms a round beefy face with sparkling small eyes and such widely spaced teeth that
      one inevitably thinks of a garden rake. Enormous beefy thighs bulge from greasy
      lederhosen which are supported by the traditional embroidered braces. So far the
      butcher is the only cheery German, male or female, whom I have seen, and I have met
      most of the locals at the Schnabbe’s shop. Most of the men seem to have cultivated
      the grim Hitler look. They are all fanatical Nazis and one is usually greeted by a raised
      hand and Heil Hitler! All very theatrical. I always feel like crying in ringing tones ‘God
      Save the King’ or even ‘St George for England’. However the men are all very correct
      and courteous and the women friendly. The women all admire Kate and cry, “Ag, das
      kleine Englander.” She really is a picture with her rosy cheeks and huge grey eyes and
      golden curls. Kate is having a wonderful time playing with Manfried, the Scnabbe’s small
      son. Neither understands a word said by the other but that doesn’t seem to worry them.

      Before he left on safari, George took me to hospital for an examination by the
      nurse, Sister Marianne. She has not been long in the country and knows very little
      English but is determined to learn and carried on an animated, if rather quaint,
      conversation with frequent references to a pocket dictionary. She says I am not to worry
      because there is not doctor here. She is a very experienced midwife and anyway in an
      emergency could call on the old retired Veterinary Surgeon for assistance.
      I asked sister Marianne whether she knew of any German woman or girl who
      would look after Kate whilst I am in hospital and today a very top drawer German,
      bearing a strong likeness to ‘Little Willie’, called and offered the services of his niece who
      is here on a visit from Germany. I was rather taken aback and said, “Oh no Baron, your
      niece would not be the type I had in mind. I’m afraid I cannot pay much for a companion.”
      However the Baron was not to be discouraged. He told me that his niece is seventeen
      but looks twenty, that she is well educated and will make a cheerful companion. Her
      father wishes her to learn to speak English fluently and that is why the Baron wished her
      to come to me as a house daughter. As to pay, a couple of pounds a month for pocket
      money and her keep was all he had in mind. So with some misgivings I agreed to take
      the niece on as a companion as from 1st August.

      Eleanor.

      Oldeani. 10th August 1938

      Dearest Family,

      Never a dull moment since my young companion arrived. She is a striking looking
      girl with a tall boyish figure and very short and very fine dark hair which she wears
      severely slicked back. She wears tweeds, no make up but has shiny rosy cheeks and
      perfect teeth – she also,inevitably, has a man friend and I have an uncomfortable
      suspicion that it is because of him that she was planted upon me. Upon second
      thoughts though, maybe it was because of her excessive vitality, or even because of
      her healthy appetite! The Baroness, I hear is in poor health and I can imagine that such
      abundant health and spirit must have been quite overpowering. The name is Ingeborg,
      but she is called Mouche, which I believe means Mouse. Someone in her family must
      have a sense of humour.

      Her English only needed practice and she now chatters fluently so that I know her
      background and views on life. Mouche’s father is a personal friend of Goering. He was
      once a big noise in the German Airforce but is now connected with the car industry and
      travels frequently and intensively in Europe and America on business. Mouche showed
      me some snap shots of her family and I must say they look prosperous and charming.
      Mouche tells me that her father wants her to learn to speak English fluently so that
      she can get a job with some British diplomat in Cairo. I had immediate thought that I
      might be nursing a future Mata Hari in my bosom, but this was immediately extinguished
      when Mouche remarked that her father would like her to marry an Englishman. However
      it seems that the mere idea revolts her. “Englishmen are degenerates who swill whisky
      all day.” I pointed out that she had met George, who was a true blue Englishman, but
      was nevertheless a fine physical specimen and certainly didn’t drink all day. Mouche
      replied that George is not an Englishman but a hunter, as though that set him apart.
      Mouche is an ardent Hitler fan and an enthusiastic member of the Hitler Youth
      Movement. The house resounds with Hitler youth songs and when she is not singing,
      her gramophone is playing very stirring marching songs. I cannot understand a word,
      which is perhaps as well. Every day she does the most strenuous exercises watched
      with envy by me as my proportions are now those of a circus Big Top. Mouche eats a
      fantastic amount of meat and I feel it is a blessing that she is much admired by our
      Tyrollean butcher who now delivers our meat in person and adds as a token of his
      admiration some extra sausages for Mouche.

      I must confess I find her stimulating company as George is on safari most of the
      time and my evenings otherwise would be lonely. I am a little worried though about
      leaving Kate here with Mouche when I go to hospital. The dogs and Kate have not taken
      to her. I am trying to prepare Kate for the separation but she says, “She’s not my
      mummy. You are my dear mummy, and I want you, I want you.” George has got
      permission from the Provincial Forestry Officer to spend the last week of August here at
      the Rest House with me and I only hope that the baby will be born during that time.
      Kate adores her dad and will be perfectly happy to remain here with him.

      One final paragraph about Mouche. I thought all German girls were domesticated
      but not Mouche. I have Kesho-Kutwa here with me as cook and I have engaged a local
      boy to do the laundry. I however expected Mouche would take over making the
      puddings and pastry but she informed me that she can only bake a chocolate cake and
      absolutely nothing else. She said brightly however that she would do the mending. As
      there is none for her to do, she has rescued a large worn handkerchief of George’s and
      sits with her feet up listening to stirring gramophone records whilst she mends the
      handkerchief with exquisite darning.

      Eleanor.

      Oldeani. 20th August 1938

      Dearest Family,

      Just after I had posted my last letter I received what George calls a demi official
      letter from the District Officer informing me that I would have to move out of the Rest
      House for a few days as the Governor and his hangers on would be visiting Oldeani
      and would require the Rest House. Fortunately George happened to be here for a few
      hours and he arranged for Kate and Mouche and me to spend a few days at the
      German School as borders. So here I am at the school having a pleasant and restful
      time and much entertained by all the goings on.

      The school buildings were built with funds from Germany and the school is run on
      the lines of a contemporary German school. I think the school gets a grant from the
      Tanganyika Government towards running expenses, but I am not sure. The school hall is
      dominated by a more than life sized oil painting of Adolf Hitler which, at present, is
      flanked on one side by the German Flag and on the other by the Union Jack. I cannot
      help feeling that the latter was put up today for the Governor’s visit today.
      The teachers are very amiable. We all meet at mealtimes, and though few of the
      teachers speak English, the ones who do are anxious to chatter. The headmaster is a
      scholarly man but obviously anti-British. He says he cannot understand why so many
      South Africans are loyal to Britain – or rather to England. “They conquered your country
      didn’t they?” I said that that had never occurred to me and that anyway I was mainly of
      Scots descent and that loyalty to the crown was natural to me. “But the English
      conquered the Scots and yet you are loyal to England. That I cannot understand.” “Well I
      love England,” said I firmly, ”and so do all British South Africans.” Since then we have
      stuck to English literature. Shakespeare, Lord Byron and Galsworthy seem to be the
      favourites and all, thank goodness, make safe topics for conversation.
      Mouche is in her element but Kate and I do not enjoy the food which is typically
      German and consists largely of masses of fat pork and sauerkraut and unfamiliar soups. I
      feel sure that the soup at lunch today had blobs of lemon curd in it! I also find most
      disconcerting the way that everyone looks at me and says, “Bon appetite”, with much
      smiling and nodding so I have to fight down my nausea and make a show of enjoying
      the meals.

      The teacher whose room adjoins mine is a pleasant woman and I take my
      afternoon tea with her. She, like all the teachers, has a large framed photo of Hitler on her
      wall flanked by bracket vases of fresh flowers. One simply can’t get away from the man!
      Even in the dormitories each child has a picture of Hitler above the bed. Hitler accepting
      flowers from a small girl, or patting a small boy on the head. Even the children use the
      greeting ‘Heil Hitler’. These German children seem unnaturally prim when compared with
      my cheerful ex-pupils in South Africa but some of them are certainly very lovely to look
      at.

      Tomorrow Mouche, Kate and I return to our quarters in the Rest House and in a
      few days George will join us for a week.

      Eleanor.

      Oldeani Hospital. 9th September 1938

      Dearest Family,

      You will all be delighted to hear that we have a second son, whom we have
      named John. He is a darling, so quaint and good. He looks just like a little old man with a
      high bald forehead fringed around the edges with a light brown fluff. George and I call
      him Johnny Jo because he has a tiny round mouth and a rather big nose and reminds us
      of A.A.Milne’s ‘Jonathan Jo has a mouth like an O’ , but Kate calls him, ‘My brother John’.
      George was not here when he was born on September 5th, just two minutes
      before midnight. He left on safari on the morning of the 4th and, of course, that very night
      the labour pains started. Fortunately Kate was in bed asleep so Mouche walked with
      me up the hill to the hospital where I was cheerfully received by Sister Marianne who
      had everything ready for the confinement. I was lucky to have such an experienced
      midwife because this was a breech birth and sister had to manage single handed. As
      there was no doctor present I was not allowed even a sniff of anaesthetic. Sister slaved
      away by the light of a pressure lamp endeavouring to turn the baby having first shoved
      an inverted baby bath under my hips to raise them.

      What a performance! Sister Marianne was very much afraid that she might not be
      able to save the baby and great was our relief when at last she managed to haul him out
      by the feet. One slap and the baby began to cry without any further attention so Sister
      wrapped him up in a blanket and took Johnny to her room for the night. I got very little
      sleep but was so thankful to have the ordeal over that I did not mind even though I
      heard a hyaena cackling and calling under my window in a most evil way.
      When Sister brought Johnny to me in the early morning I stared in astonishment.
      Instead of dressing him in one of his soft Viyella nighties, she had dressed him in a short
      sleeved vest of knitted cotton with a cotton cloth swayed around his waist sarong
      fashion. When I protested, “But Sister why is the baby not dressed in his own clothes?”
      She answered firmly, “I find it is not allowed. A baby’s clotheses must be boiled and I
      cannot boil clotheses of wool therefore your baby must wear the clotheses of the Red
      Cross.”

      It was the same with the bedding. Poor Johnny lies all day in a deep wicker
      basket with a detachable calico lining. There is no pillow under his head but a vast kind of
      calico covered pillow is his only covering. There is nothing at all cosy and soft round my
      poor baby. I said crossly to the Sister, “As every thing must be so sterile, I wonder you
      don’t boil me too.” This she ignored.

      When my message reached George he dashed back to visit us. Sister took him
      first to see the baby and George was astonished to see the baby basket covered by a
      sheet. “She has the poor little kid covered up like a bloody parrot,” he told me. So I
      asked him to go at once to buy a square of mosquito netting to replace the sheet.
      Kate is quite a problem. She behaves like an Angel when she is here in my
      room but is rebellious when Sister shoos her out. She says she “Hates the Nanny”
      which is what she calls Mouche. Unfortunately it seems that she woke before midnight
      on the night Johnny Jo was born to find me gone and Mouche in my bed. According to
      Mouche, Kate wept all night and certainly when she visited me in the early morning
      Kate’s face was puffy with crying and she clung to me crying “Oh my dear mummy, why
      did you go away?” over and over again. Sister Marianne was touched and suggested
      that Mouche and Kate should come to the hospital as boarders as I am the only patient
      at present and there is plenty of room. Luckily Kate does not seem at all jealous of the
      baby and it is a great relief to have here here under my eye.

      Eleanor.

      #6201
      TracyTracy
      Participant

        “Go and put the kettle on while I think about this,” Liz instructed Finnley.  “A vacation is not a bad idea.  A change of air would do us good.  Perhaps a nice self catering cottage somewhere in the country…”

        “Self catering? And who might that self be that would be doing the catering for you, Liz?”

        “I was only thinking of you!” retorted Liz, affronted. “You might get bored in a fancy hotel with nothing to dust!”

        “Try me!” snapped Finnley.  “You think you know me inside out, don’t you, but I’m just a story character to you, aren’t I? You don’t know me at all! Just the idea you have of a cleaner! I can’t take it anymore!”

        “Oh for god’s sake stop blubbering, Finnley, no need to be so dramatic. Where would you like to go?”

        “OH, I don’t know, Somewhere sunny and warm, with mountains and beaches, and not too many tourists.”

        “Hah! Anywhere nice and warm with mountains and beaches is going to be packed with tourists. If you want a nice quiet holiday with no tourists you’d have to go somewhere cold and horrid.” Liz sniffed. “Everywhere nice in the world is stuffed with tourists. I know! How about a staycation?  We can stay right here and you can make us a nice picnic every day to eat on the lawn.”

        “Fuck off, Liz,” snapped Finnley.

        “I say, there is no need to be rude! I could sack you for that!”

        “Yes but you won’t. Nobody else would work for you, and you know it.”

        “Yes well there is that,” Liz had to admit, sighing. “Well then, YOU choose somewhere. You decide. I am putty in your sweaty hands, willing to bend to your every whim. Just to keep the peace.”

        Finnley rolled her eyes and went to put the kettle on. Where DID she want to go, she wondered?   And would a holiday with Liz be any holiday at all?

        #6131

        In reply to: Tart Wreck Repackage

        “It’s Thursday today,” remarked Star.

        “Special subject the bloody obvious?” Tara replied rudely.   “You should be on Mastermind.”

        “Well, we were wondering what we were going to do to pass the time until Thursday, and here we are. It’s Thursday!”

        “Are you losing your marbles?”

        “Actually it’s you losing your memory,” Star sighed.  “Remember the case?”

        “What case?”

        “The case we were working on!”

        “Oh, that case! Well you can hardly expect me to remember that when it’s been such a strange week!” Tara was starting to get tearful and agitated.

        “Look, Tara, the tests came back negative. You can stop worrying about it now.  We can go back to normal now and carry on. And just in time for the rendezvous at the cafe on Main Street.” Star patted Tara’s arm encouragingly.  “And what timing! If the results hadn’t come back yet, or we’d tested positive, we wouldn’t have been able to go to the cafe.”

        “Well we could have gone and just not said anything about the tests,” sniffed Tara.  “Everyone else seems to be doing what they want regardless.”

        “Yes, but we’re not as morally bankrupt as them,” retorted Star.

        Tara giggled. “But we used to work for Madame Limonella.”

        “That’s an entirely different kind of morals,” Star replied, but chose not to pursue the issue. She was relieved to see Tara’s mood lighten.  “What are you going to wear to the cafe?”

        “Is it a fancy dress party? I could wear my plague doctor outfit.”

        Star rolled her eyes. “No! We have to dress appropriately, something subtle and serious.  A dark suit perhaps.”

        “Oh like my Ace of Spades T shirt?”

        This is going nowhere fast, Star thought, but then had a revelation.  A moment later, she had forgotten what the revelation was when the door burst open.

        “Ta Da!” shouted Rosamund, entering the office with two middle aged ladies in tow.  “I nabbed them both, they were lurking in the queue for the food bank! And I single handedly brought then back.  Can we talk about my bonus now?”

        Both Tara and Star were frowning at the two unfamiliar ladies. “Yes but who are these two middle aged ladies?”

        One of the ladies piped up, “She said you’d be taking us out for afternoon tea at a nice cafe!”

        The other one added, “We haven’t eaten for days, we’re starving!”

        “But neither of you is April!” exclaimed Tara.

        The first middle aged lady said, “Oh no dear, it’s September. I’m quite sure of that.”

        #6107

        In reply to: Tart Wreck Repackage

        Star paused in the lobby. “I need some more persuading,” she said. “What if she dies in that wardrobe? What will we do with the body? Or, worse, what if she doesn’t die and sues us?”

        Tara decided to ignore Star’s dubious reasoning; after all it was late. “She’s probably going to sue anyway,” said Tara morosely. “Another night won’t make any difference.”

        “I’m going back. I can’t leave Rosamund to face the consequences of our drunken stupidity.” Star headed defiantly towards the stairs; the lift was out of order, again. “We would have to be on the eight bloody floor,” she muttered. “You do what you like,” she flung over her shoulder to Tara.

        Tara sighed. “Wait up,” she shouted.

        Star was relieved that Tara decided to follow. The building was scary at night – the few tenants who did lease office space, were, much like themselves, dodgy start-ups that couldn’t afford anything better. Missing bulbs meant the lighting in the stairwell was dim, and, on some floors, non-existent.

        “I’m amazed they managed to bring that wardrobe up,” puffed Tara. “Just slow down and let me get my breath will you, Star.”

        “My gym membership is really paying off,” said Star proudly. “Come on,Tara! just one floor to go!”

        As they approached the door to their office, they paused to listen. “Can you hear something … ?” whispered Star.

        “Is it … singing?”

        “That’s never Rosamund singing. She’s got a voice like … well let’s just say you wouldn’t wish it on your worst enemy.”

        “I’m going in,” hissed Tara and flung open the door.

        “Don’t come any closer!” cried a woman in a mink coat; she did make a peculiar sight, surrounded by empty pizza boxes and brandishing a broom. “And you, shut up!” she said reaching out to bang the wardrobe with her broom. There were muffled cries from within, and then silence.

        “Was that you singing?” asked Star in her most polite voice.

        “Yes, what’s it to you?”

        “It was rather… lovely.”

        The woman smirked. “I was rehearsing.”

        “We are awfully sorry about locking you in the wardrobe. We thought you were a masked intruder.”

        “Well, I’m not. I am Rosamund’s Aunt April, and you …” she glowered at Star … “should have recognised me, seeing as how I am your cousin.”

        “Oh!” Star put her hand to her head. “Silly me! Of course, Cousin April! But I have not seen you for so many years. Not since I was a child and you were off to Europe to study music!”

        Tara groaned. “Really, Star, you are hopeless.”

        Loud banging emanated from the wardrobe followed by mostly unintelligible shouting but it went something like: “Bloody-let-me-out-or-I-will-friggin-kill-you-stupid-bloody-tarts!”

        “It wasn’t really Rosamund’s fault,” said Star. “I don’t suppose we could …?”

        April nodded. “Go on then, little fool’s learnt her lesson. The cheek of her not letting me have pineapple on my pizza.”

        “About bloody time,” sniffed Rosamund when the door was opened. She made a sorry sight, mascara streaked under her eyes and her red fingernails broken from where she had tried to force the door.

        “Now, then,” said Tara decisively, “now we’ve said our sorries and whatnot, what’s all this really about, April?”

        April crinkled her brow.”Well, as I may of mentioned on the phone, my husband, Albert — that’s your Uncle Albie,” she said to Rosamund, “is cheating on me. He denies it vehemently of course, but I found this note in his pocket.” She reached into her Louis Vuitton hand-bag and pulled out a sheet of paper. “That’s his handwriting and the paper is from the Royal Albert Hotel. He was there on a business trip last month.” Her face crumpled.

        “Chin up,” said Tara quickly, handing April a tissue from the desk. “What does the note say?”. Really, this case did seem a bit beneath them, a straightforward occurrence of adultery from the sounds.

        April sniffed. “It says, meet you at the usual place. Bring the money and the suitcase and I will make it worth your while.”

        “Let me see that,” said Rosamund, snatching the note from April. She reached into the front of her tee-shirt and pulled out another crumpled note which had been stuffed into her bra. She smirked. “I found this in the wardrobe. I was keeping it secret to pay you back but … ” She brandished both notes triumphantly. “The handwriting is the same!”

        “What does your note say, Rosamund?” asked Star.

        “It says, If you find this note, please help me. All is not what it seems..”

        “Wow, cool!” said Tara, her face lit up. This was more like it!

        Star, noticing April’s wretched face, frowned warningly at Tara. “So,” she mused, “I suggest we explore this wardrobe further and see what we can find out.”

        #5750

        “I thought you said we were going to Australia,  April? This doesn’t look like Australia to me,” she said casting a despondent eye around the dismal cell. “Why do they always paint them grey?”

        “To make you suffer. You’re not supposed to enjoy it.”

        “Barbaric,” sniffed June. “And inefficient. I refuse to be rehabilitated unless they improve the accommodation.”

        “Fat chance of that” April snorted. “We’ll be sewing mailbags or being a guinea pig for the latest bolonavirus vaccine.”

        “What? No art classes and gym and choice of menu?” June was aghast. “You had better get us out of here! That latest scam was all your idea, anyway.”

        “Actually, no, it wasn’t.  It was that guy, what was his name? Godfrey? The one that comes to see Mr August sometimes. I was in the elevator with him one day and right out of the blue, I mean, I don’t know him personally, but he planted all these crazy ideas in my head telling me about how fool proof this credit card trick was…”

        “He can pay the bail money then.”

        “Now there’s an idea.”

        #4810

        Nurse Trassie sniffed the rubbish can. A day or two at most. The traces were not fresh, but neither were her preys. Yet, there was something unmistakable about the trail the three of them left in their wake.
        The pharmacist had been reluctant at first to share information, but a well-placed arm wrench extracted the truth out of him very efficiently. Those misbehaving lying eloping people needed to be corrected.
        “Yes, yes, I remember them three, very nice ladies!” he said in pleading tones. “They didn’t say where they lived, pleaase! But they were late for their plane!”
        “To where?!” Nurse Trassie was losing patience as much as the plot, and it made her angry.
        “To Finland I think, they were complaining about the cold, and they bought lip balm, and and…”
        Nurse Trassie had heard enough, she could track them through the flight agencies. How these three had managed to take a flight out of the country was a surprise. They’d surely had help.

        She growled to herself “I’m not going to be bested by these decrepit slovens, mark my words. I’ll bring them back to the nursing home by the rest of their hair if I have to!”

        #4293

        The night was almost there, the dwarf would come out of his heavy daysleep any minute now. Fox had been collecting mushrooms along with twigs and branches to make some fire. He hoped the constant drizzle of these last few days had not rendered them too wet.

        The differences of his needs and cravings depending on his being a fox or a human had always amazed him. When he was a fox, he feared fire and would avoid it at all cost. When he was a human, he couldn’t spend a night out in the cold without a fire. His body was simply not good at keeping warmth inside when he had no fur. Today was no exception and Fox was certain the dwarf would also appreciate it to get rid of the cold of the stone.

        After piling up the wood for the fire, Fox smelled his harvest of fresh mushrooms. He imagined them accompanying a good rabbit stew and felt saliva water his mouth. His diet as an animal was mostly meat, whereas as a human he was oddly attracted to vegetables, and even enjoyed the taste of mushrooms. He might not enjoy them so much had he not met a girl once, so long ago when he was a still a cub learning to transform into a human. He remembered the girl had said she was called Eleri, which he had found amusing because in French “Elle rit” means “she’s laughing”.

        “How do you know French?” she had asked.
        “Oh! My master Gibbon teaches me French, he says it would give me another way of thinking the world.”
        “Your master must be fond of Romance stories,” she giggled.

        Fox didn’t really understood what she meant by that, and he thought it was not so important because what she had in her bag smelt so funny.

        “What’s that?” he asked.
        “You want some?” She handed a bunch of butterstache fungi to the handsome redhead boy. “I realise I don’t know your name.”

        “I’m Fox,” he said his eyes fixed on the strange looking things in her hands. He sniffed and wrinkled his nose. “Is it safe?”

        He remembered the look of incredulity in her eyes, her beautiful eyes. She was the first girl he had seen. He didn’t know much about humans except what Master Gibbon had told him in French, which didn’t really make sense at that time.

        “It’s totally safe, you might only have some funny experiences if you take the wrong ones in the forest,” Eleri laughed and Fox remembered the meaning of her name in French. He thought the name suited her well. He accepted her gift, for her eyes, and for her sincere laugh.

        Since that time, eating mushrooms was always coloured with joy and a sense of daring. The last rays of the Sun faded away.

        “It smells like mushrooms, and butterstache if I’m not mistaken,” said the raspy voice of the dwarf.

        #4099

        Funley sniffed loudly as she unhurriedly emptied the trash can in Ed Steam’s office, pausing to read any interesting correspondence which may have wound up there. Looking over towards Ed and finding that his attention was still fixed on the computer monitor, she followed her sniff up with a small snort and then a throat clearing noise. When her sniffs and snorts didn’t capture Ed’s attention, she proceeded to blow her nose explosively.

        This did the trick. Ed jumped and looked at Funley in alarm.

        “Whatever is the matter, Funley? Are you ill?”

        “Sorry, didn’t mean to disturb you,” apologised Finnley, pulling up a chair in front of Ed’s desk and seating herself comfortably on it.

        “Actually, if you are not too busy, there is a small problem I’ve been wanting to speak with you about. I promised I would untangle the threads for you however the entanglement situation is worse than I could have imagined in my wildest dreams. Or nightmares for that matter. I don’t know who has been doing the record keeping — although I would hazard a guess at Evangeline — but the cross referencing, where it exists, is appalling and … “

        A tap on the door and the new employee, Duncan Minestrone, popped his head into the office. “You wanted to see me, Mr Steam?” he asked.

        Funley glanced towards the door in exasperation at the interruption and then her expression changed to one of horror.

        “Jasper Grok!” she gasped. “What are you doing here?”

        #3991

        “There was one other thing, Your Majesty…”

        “Finnley, what on earth is the matter with you?” Interrupted Liz.

        “Well, that’s what I’m trying to tell you. I’m going to a party in another story tonight, it’s Funley’s leaving do over on the Cakltown thread. It’s a fancy dress party. The theme is Hierarchy, and I’m practicing groveling.”

        “But it’s not your night off! You can’t go!”

        But it was too late. Finnley had already thread jumped.

        She’ll never be any good at groveling, that one. Far too big for her boots, sniffed Liz.

        #3831

        “Sorry to bother you again, Ed.”

        This was a lie; Evangeline wasn’t at all sorry. There was nothing she loved better than to be the bearer of bad news and she was rather pleased to have an excuse to call Ed Steam so soon after their last conversation.

        “The Cackle Insanitization Committee contacted me. Their spies reported that Gustave had a meeting with that awful whinging Bea woman from Cackletown.”

        Ed was shocked. “Gustave? Gustave Butterworth, the scientist? He’s supposed to be working for us, isn’t he?”

        Evangeline sniffed dismissively, eager to pass on her next tantalising morsel. She tried to keep the excitement out of her voice and sound appropriately serious.

        “The other concerning thing is that the Contumacious Cackler is in town. There have been several verified hearings of him.”

        “The Contumacious Cackler!” Ed’s horrified reaction was music to Evangeline’s ears, although she was not entirely sure who the Contumacious Cackler was or why the mention of his name elicited such horror. She decided to ask.

        “It’s rather a sad story. His mother ran away from home when he was just 3 years old, due to his father’s incessant cackling. The Contumacious Cackler never saw his mother again and he grew up with an obsessive hatred of cackling. He vowed to put an end to cackling. He cackles so evilly that he stirs up trouble wherever he goes. His dastardly plan is to create so much resistance to cackling that the people are inflamed sufficiently to rise up against cacklers. He is reported to be responsible for the demise of cackling in 2 of the provinces.”

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