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In reply to: The Surge Team’s Coils
In the vast mudflats of the Guadalquivir river delta, a small group of mudlarks on a field trip from London examine strange geometric shadows of what look to be the remains of a ringed city. “L..l..l..la la la looks like that in in in ins suh suh suh insignia, d d d don’t it, mate?” stuttered Dennis.
“The one we found on that old sponge in the mud of the Thames?” asked his uncle Bob. “It does, now that you mention it. Must be a connection. Ok lads, fan out and keep your eyes peeled. We must be close to finding the portal entrance, and we need to find it before the Three Kings parade.”
In reply to: The Surge Team’s Coils
“But Pearl” asked young Frank Lee Wright, “You’re asking the impossible! How can we divert and diffuse the surges at the same time as kidnapping Ed Steam? Surely the energy projection required would be too contradictory?”
“Ahhhh!” replied Pearl with a wise looking eyebrow wiggle. “This is a clue already, did you notice that sign that just flashed up saying “draft saved at 4:44”? Never forget all is in alignment, and we have non physical friends on the case.”
“But Pearl” replied Frankie, “How is that of any practical use?”
“Ahhhh! You will be amazed at the simplicity of my plan, young man. We will divert a surge in the direction of Ed Steam. Ed Steams own impetus will be his downfall. Think Aikido!”
In reply to: scattered grasps
In reply to: Tales of Tw’Elves
Through her tears Sue Flay caught a glimpse of the sun flashing on the shiny foil purple party hooter lying at her feet. Curiosity halted the sobs that were vibrating the wooden decking under the cafe terraces, much to the relief of several dozen Italian tourists, who were busily mopping up the coffee that had sloshed over their cups and onto their buns.
Who sent me this purple party hooter? Sue asked, blowing her nose on Fray Mentos’ white loincloth, providing the Italian tourists with an eyeful of Fray’s crown jewels which were momentarily exposed to the salty marina air.
In reply to: Tales of Tw’Elves
On the marina, Sue Flay, wrapped in hot pink towel sprinkled in horseradish and buns crumbs started to feel dizzy and possessed.
Her poodle had bitten her savagely, and her right breast was bleeding profusely.“May I be of assistance?” an tonsured man with a genial face and white girded loins asked, handing her a raspy paper towel.
Without knowing why, Sue started to sob like a huge meringue.
In reply to: Tales of Tw’Elves
Meanwhile back at the ranch – and it was a true ranch with horses and cattle and mountains stretching as far as one could see – Neb was sighing in dismay. He had an odd scrunched look upon his face, and he was curled up in the fetus position.
“How am I supposed to life like this!” Neb demanded.
“All these bloody synchronicities, manifestations and freaking reality shifts are making me feel very uncomfortable.” Neb pouted. Neb tried to imagine his happy place, any happy place would do, but all he could muster was the thought of white buns and spider webs.
“Is not this the point of The Shift?” asked a voice in Nebs head.
“Why bloody not!”
“You don’t know where I’ve just come from, and what I was doing, and what I’ve seen with my very eyes.” Neb moaned.
“So your afraid yet once again, my friend. You fear a lot of things, and have many beliefs about your shelf, elf, I mean self.” said the voice.
“My thoughts manifest in an instant, and usually not in a pleasant way. No not at all, and most uncomfortably obvious too.” said Neb.
“That’s splendid!”
“Sounds to me like your shifting right along, and from what you’ve said, you are allowing your reality to shift quite easily.”
“With ease!?” shouted Neb.
“Its a bloody mess, is what it is. I seem to attract just what I don’t want, and rarely what I do, and this is all to much for me to accept.”
A pink poodle with twenty or so linked sausages in its mouth strolled up to Neb. The poodle grinned, and dropped the sausages in front of Neb, then strutted in a westward direction.
Neb looked at the sausages, and cringed.
In reply to: Tales of Tw’Elves
The ointment the kind lady gave Luigi made him think of the fun adventure he had in Madrid with the good doctor. Ugly he was maybe, but not as daft as to blindly accept gifts of healing wrapped in a pretty bottle.
Well, not without trying it first at least. Last time it’d cost him a cat. Well, the neighbour’s cat. And it was sick anyway before it’d dyed… Purple.“Would you mind passing me the poodle” he asked smiling a crooked smile to a morbidly obese lady sunbathing in a tight hot pink bikini near the marina.
In reply to: Tales of Tw’Elves
In reply to: Tales of Tw’Elves
“It’s mother earth crying because humans are destroying the planet” ventured Kerry. “And before you ask, I don’t know how I got here. I was doing the remote view practice, and I got a direct hit, it was a picture of a kraken. Then I heard this rumbling noise in my head, and well, here I am…”
“Well you’re all wrong” said the guy with the blonde hair. “It’s the Galactic Federation of Light, and they’ve come to arrest all the criminals that are preventing the shift.”
Flinella slipped behind Eliza, surruptitiously looking to see where she could hide. What did he mean by criminals?
“What do you mean by criminals, my good man?” asked Eliza, sensing Flinella’s alarm.
“He means anarchists and protesters” said the politician.
“No he doesn’t, he means big pharma” interjected Kerry.
“Where the bloody hell did all these people come from?” Flinella looked around wildly, and then “Oh now really this is too much!”
The grey squishy guy just laughed, his thin shoulders jumping up and down with mirth.
In reply to: Tales of Tw’Elves
The old man screeched to a halt, his car fishtailing wildly. His bad tempered frown at the slow moving traffic morphed in an instant into slack jawed eye popping amazement. The road had literally disappeared into an enormous hole. Good Lord! he shouted. Although he wasn’t a religious man he considered himself to be a gentleman, and didn’t swear in front of his wife. What the dickens is that? he asked her, but she was speechless with shock. The sports car they had been following, and the unmarked bus in front of it that had been holding the traffic up were nowhere to be seen.
~~
Connie Leadbetter was nervous. It was her first date with Chad Pickins and the first time she’d been in his flashy sports car. They were on their way to a festival in Hot Springs to celebrate the magic of nature, oddly enough. Connie’s nervousness had manifested itself as a digestive system upset, and to her horror, she farted and followed through on the soft pink leather seat of Chad’s car. Mortified, she passionately wished that the ground would open and swallow her up.
~~
The Tw’Elves, who weren’t allowed to talk on the bus, were busy discussing their situation telepathically. The previous week they had been arrested by Homeland Security as a threat to the nation, and were being transported to a detention camp in North Dakota. This eventuality wasn’t really part of their plan, but as so often happens, it slotted in nicely, albeit unexpectedly, with the Perforation Plans. Sink Holes had been appearing for some time in the middle of the north American continent, neatly following a north south line, stretching from Hudson Bay to the Gulf of Mexico, so the Tw’Elves mentally punched another hole in the perforation line to fascilitate their exit from the doomed bodies they were wearing at the time. Thus, the separation of the two halves of the continent came one hole closer to fruition.
~~
The Energy Leprechaun gave himself a cake for another splendid synchronicity, seamlessly connecting Connie’s wish with the intention of the Tw’Elves.
In reply to: Snowflakes of Tens
Young Neb entered the vast openness that is, with a faint whooshing sound.
whoooooooosh
“Hello?” squeaked Neb in a curious fashion. Neb, wearing a curious face, drowns in the quiet of his own presence.
“Is there anybosy out there?” asked Neb in a slightly less squeaky tone than his last vocal utterance.
Neb ponders his latest mote, and questions its validity.
“Well, I am just as curious as you are, and I am not entirely sure of this reality… if you are interested in interacting with me, and perhaps answering some of my questions, we may create a fantasy worth.. well it is what it is, isn’t it?” resounded Neb with a faint puff of cigar smoke trailing up and out of his mouth.
Neb ponders, and then begins to sleep.
[link: squeaky]
In reply to: The Eights’ Shift, Stories
The alien bodies loved to dance. “Let’s do the time warp again!” they shouted in unison.
“It’s just a jump to the left…”The peeping Peaslander was won over by such enthusiasm. “What is your secret?” he asked, beguiled, yet raucous a tad.
“Oh, well, the alien named Comice replied, are you sure you want to hear it?”
“Come on, I’m dying of impatience”
Comice gave a sideways look at her friend Williams’ Bon Chretien. Then she enunciated very deliberately: “Malkoovich”In reply to: Strings of Nines
“Minky!” called Winky, “Hey Minky, yesterdays attraction was tops, loved it! Great tour!”
“Ah” replied Minky, after a long pause. “What was it that appealed to you the most?” he asked, fishing for clues. He had no recollection of organizing any excursions.
“The Pop In, in that old Charlie Chaplin movie, very clever, I wasn’t expecting that!”
“Aha! Yes!” Thinking quickly, Minky added “I had a feeling you’d like that one”.
In reply to: Strings of Nines
Even Minky was forced to admit that he had completely forgotten about Jiboriums Emporium. What kind of a tour guide am I? he asked himself.
In reply to: Strings of Nines
In reply to: Strings of Nines
“Smurked?” asked Sue Maffey with a delicately raised eyebrow.
In reply to: Strings of Nines
Mandrake rolled his eyes, something he had learned from Arona, which made Yickesy chuckle.
Arona sighed, rolling her eyes twice and asked: “So who want some Nuhm tea?”
“Where does that tea set come from”, asked Vincentius.In reply to: Strings of Nines
In reply to: Strings of Nines
In reply to: Strings of Nines
Arona gazed fondly at her bottle of Nhum before putting it carefully back in her bag. You couldn’t be too careful with bottles of Nhum. They weren’t easy to come by after all.
“What on earth is that? asked Mandrake.
“That, my dear Mandrake,” replied Arona smugly, “Is my bottle of Nhum.” She smiled enigmatically.
