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  • #4198

    Humming quietly to herself, Glynis stirs the mixture in the large black pot. She feels proud that she now knows this recipe by heart and no longer has to refer to the large book of spells which sits on a nearby stool.

    Small bubbles begin to form on the surface of the mixture—soon it will boil. Now … remember … ”the mixture must boil for 5 minutes, no more and no less”.

    She wasn’t sure why the directions were so precise … apparently understanding would grow in time. She pondered whether it was the element of discipline involved which added a particular flavour to the spell. After all, the intention of the heart was important and the difference between a great spell and just a mediocre one. She hoped to be a master one day and revered for the purity and efficacy of her mixtures.

    “Quiet now,” she chided herself. “Pride won’t help this spell any.”

    Five minutes. She has her own way of marking time though at first it had not been so easy. The moment the mixture was boiling she began to sing. She sang the whole song through twice and then pulled the pot from the fire to leave it to cool. Next it would go in the jars that stood waiting on the bench like a line of willing soldiers and then it must sit till spring.

    Patience.

    Daylight is beginning to fade and she remembers she still has no sage.

    The orchard is particularly beautiful this time of day she thinks. Late afternoon. Once, there was a path of stones leading down to the garden where sage and other herbs grow in abundance, but now the path is long overgrown.

    A Silver Jute alights on a branch ahead of her.

    “Hello!” Glynis says, happy to see the bird.

    The Jute opens its beak and with a thrusting motion propels a berry which flies through the air and lands at the girl’s feet.

    “Thank you”, she says and a feeling of warm gratitude fills her heart as she picks up the berry and puts it in her basket.

    The Jute nods his head in acknowledgment and with a loud cry spreads his wings and flies off over the trees of the orchard.

    #4040
    TracyTracy
    Participant

      The phone rang, putting paid to Hilda’s intention of going back to sleep. There was evidence that the random face puncher had lashed out again, this time in Boston. Boston! Hilda quickly packed a flight bag, vaguely wondering why she didn’t have suitcase packing staff on hand. There was no time to watch a “how to pack a suitcase” video, either. The verdigris statue lay tits up on the smashed concrete sidewalk, indicating that the face puncher packed quite a punch. Hilda grinned at the thought of the danger bonus payment for this assignment, and then scowled at the thought of US customs crotch gropers. She toyed with the idea of wearing a codpiece stuffed with dried chamomile, just for a laugh, but thought better of it.

      #4009
      TracyTracy
      Participant

        As Prune spoke the magic words releasing her aunt from marbledom, an unforeseen chain reaction of uncrusting began. One by one the concrete statues and animals that Idle had been collecting became more yielding, less rigid. They didn’t all start gallivanting around at once, it was a slow process depending on the length of time they had been solid.

        The buddha by the fish pond had had his knees bent for so long it would be some time before he could straighten them, but it was with great joy that he raised a hand from his lap to scratch the fly droppings off the tip of his nose. He was just about to make a remark about foolish idle people and wise diligent ones when it occurred to him that he’d been completely idle for quite some time, and that it hadn’t been his fault. The unaccustomed questioning of his rather rigid beliefs accelerated the uncrusting process, and he was able to turn his head to see the odd looking cat approaching, but unable to move his arm quickly enough to stop it spraying him with piss.

        You have no idea how long I’ve been holding that, said the cat, somewhat telepathically.

        A loud gravelly sounding laugh echoed across the pond, coming from the direction of the green man plaque on the wall. The unfamiliar cackle drew Clove out from the kitchen to see who it was.

        “I have so much to say!” the green man cleared his throat, spitting out some moss that had become stuck between his teeth, “And I’ve waited so long to say it! You there, you! Don’t go away!” The green man immediately realized his predicament. He had a face but no body. He would have to wait until an audience came to him to listen.

        But Clove was interested and inched closer. She had just been researching Dionysus for a project; what a fortuitous coincidence that a replica of him had come to life. She would be able to interview him for her report. She’d just read that “It is perhaps an indication of the Green Man’s power as an archetype that he was able to transfer so seamlessly from one culture and one set of beliefs to another.”

        This was exactly the angle she was after.

        #4004

        In reply to: Scrying the Word Cloud

        ÉricÉric
        Keymaster

          self dust heart once silly rat leader
          missed dream robot intelligence
          bending listen house thought
          jar mean secret liked full clean

          #4001
          TracyTracy
          Participant

            “Back so soon?” inquired Liz, raising an eyebrow. “Oh, I say! Had too much to drink, have we?”

            Finnley lurched into the wall, knocking a picture of Big Ben onto the sideboard, where it landed on the domed carriage clock, which started to chime hashazardly.

            (Liz couldn’t help chortling at the spelling mistake, if not the irony)

            Trying to regain her balance, Finnley ricocheted into the sofa, ending up face down on top of a pile of old Chisp magazines.

            “I was enjoying a quiet night thread sitting alone, as a matter of fact,” Liz sighed. “ I’ll ring the bell and have someone come and remove you. Before you pass out, have we got any more staff, do you know? Who shall I call?”

            #3996
            TracyTracy
            Participant

              The following is an e-mail from the past, composed on July 01, 2010. It is being delivered from the past through FutureMe.org

              Dear FutureMe,
              The Absinthe Cafe
              Dawn and Mark had a bottle of Absinthe (the proper stuff with the WORMwood in
              it, which is illegal in France) but forgot to bring it. Wandering around at
              some point, we chanced upon a cafe called Absinthe. Sitting on the terrace, the
              waitress came up and looked right at me and said “Oh you are booked to come here
              tomorrow night!” and then said “Forget I said that”. Naturally that got our
              attention. After we left Dawn spotted a kid with 2016 on the back of his T
              shirt. We asked Arkandin about it and we have a concurrent group focus that does
              meet in that cafe in 2016, including Britta. Dawn’s name is Isabelle Spencer,
              Jib’s is Jennifer….
              The Worm & The Suitcase
              I borrowed Rachel’s big red suitcase for the trip and stuck a Time Bridgers
              sticker on it, and joked before I left about the case disappearing to 2163. I
              had an impulse to take a fig tree sapling for Eric and Jib, which did survive
              the trip although it looked a little shocked at first. As Eric was repotting
              it, we noticed a worm in the soil, and I said, Well, if the fig tree dies at
              least you have the worm.
              At Balzacs house on a bench in the garden there was a magazine lying there open
              to an ad for Spain, which said “If you lose your suitcase it would be the best
              thing because you would have to stay”.
              Later we asked Arkandin and he said that there was something from the future
              inserted into my suitcase. I went all through it wondering what it could be,
              and then a couple of days ago Eric said that it was the WORM! because of the
              WORMwood absinthe syncs, and worm hole etc. I just had a chat with Franci who
              had a big worm sync a couple of days ago, she particularly noticed a very big
              worm outside the second hand shop, and noted that she hadn’t seen a worm in ages
              ~ which is also a sync, because there was a big second hand clothes shop next to
              Dawn and Mark’s hotel that I went into looking for a bowler hat.
              Arkandin said, by the way, that Jane did forget to mention the bowler hats in
              OS7, those two guys on the balcony were indeed wearing bowler hats, and that
              they were the same guys that were in my bedroom in the dream I had prior to
              finding the Seth stuff ~ Elias and Patel.
              Eric replied:

              And another Time Bridger thing; a while ago, Jib and I had fun planting some TB stickers at random places in Paris (and some on a wooden gate at Jib’s hometown).
              Those in Paris I remember were one at the waiting room of a big tech department store, and another on the huge “Bateaux Mouches” sign on the Pont de l’Alma (bridge, the one of Lady D. where there is a gilded replica of Lady Liberty’s flame).
              I think there are pics of that on Jib’s or my flickr account somewhere.
              When we were walking past this spot, Jib suddenly remembered the TB sticker — meanwhile, the sign which was quite clean before had been written all over, and had other stickers everywhere. We wondered whether it was still here, and there it was! It’s been something like 2 years… Kind of amazing to think it’s still there, and imagine all the people that may have seen it since!
              ~~~~

              The Flights

              I wasn’t all that keen on flying and procrastinated for ages about the trip. I
              flew with EASYjet, so it was nice to see the word EASY everywhere. I got on the
              plane to find that they don’t allocate seats, and chose a seat right at the
              front on the left. The head flight attendant was extremely playful for the
              whole flight, constantly cracking up laughing and teasing the other flight
              attendants, who would poke him and make him laugh during announcements so that
              he kept having to put the phone down while he laughed. I spent the whole flight
              laughing and catching his mischeivously twinking eye.
              I asked Arkandin about him and he said his energy was superimposed. I got on
              the flight to come home and was met on the plane by the same guy! I said
              HELLO! It’s YOU again! Can I sit in the same seat and are you going to make me
              laugh again” and he actually moved the person that was in my seat and said I
              could sit there. Then he asked me about my book (about magic and Napolean). He
              also said that all his flights all week had been delayed except the two that I
              was on. He wanted to give me a card for frequent flyers but I told him I
              usually flew without planes ~ that cracked him up ;))
              ~~~

              The Dream Bean

              Eric cracked open a special big African bean that is supposed to enhance
              dreams/lucidity so we all had a bit of it. The second night I remembered a
              dream and it was a wonderful one.
              (Coincidentally, on the flight home I read a few pages of my book and it just
              happened to be about the council of five dragons and misuse of magical beans)
              In the dream I had a companion with magical powers, who I presumed was Jib but
              it was myself actually. It was a long adventure dream of being chased and
              various adventures across the countryside, but there was no stress, it was all
              great fun. Everytime things got a bit too close in the dream, I’d hold onto my
              friend with magical powers, and we would elevate above the “adventure” and drop
              down in another location out of immediate danger ~ although we were never
              outside of the adventure, so to speak. At one point I wondered why my magical
              freind didn’t just elevate us right up high and out of it completely, and
              realized that we were in the adventure game on purpose for the fun of it, so why
              would we remove ourselves completely from the adventure game.
              In the dream I remember we were heading for Holland at one point, and then the
              last part we were safely heading for Turkey…..
              The other dream snapshot was “we are all working together on roof tiles” and
              Arkandin had some interesting stuff to say about that one.
              ~~~

              There were alot of vampire imagery incidents starting with me asking Eric if he
              slept in his garden tool box at night, and then the guy who shot out of a door
              right next to Jib and Eric’s, in a bright orange T shirt, carrying a cardboard
              coffin. He stopped for me to take a photo (and Arkandin said it was a Patel pop
              in); then while walking through the outdoor food market someone was chopping a
              crate up and a perfect wooden stake flew across the floor and landed at my feet.
              The next vampire sync was a shop opposite Dawn and Mark’s hotel with 3 coffins
              in the window (I went back to take a pic of the cello actually, didn’t even
              notice the coffins). Inside the shop was an EAU DE NIL MOTOR SCOOTER Share, can
              you beleive it, and a mummy, a stuffed raven, and a row of (Tardis) Red phone
              boxes.
              I had a nightmare last night that I couldn’t find any of my (nine) dogs; the
              only ones I could find were the dead ones.
              ~~~~

              Balzac’s House

              The trip to Balzac’s house was interesting, although in somewhat unexpected
              ways. (Arkandin was Balzac and I was the cook/housekeeper) The house didn’t
              seem “right” somehow to Mark and I and we decided that was probably because
              other than the desk there was no furniture in it. Mark saw a black cat that
              nobody else saw that was an Arkandin pop in (panther essence animal), and Dawn
              felt that he was sitting on a chair, and Mark sat on him. (Arkandin said yes he
              did sit on him ;) The kitchen was being used as an office. Jib felt the house
              was too small, and picked up on a focus of his that rented the other part of the
              house. (The house was one storey high on the side we entered, and two storeys
              high from the road below). There were two pop ins there apparently, one with
              long hair which is a connection to my friend Joy who was part of that group
              focus, and I can’t recall anything about the other one. Dawn was picking up
              that Balzac wasn’t too happy, and I was remembering the part in Cousin Bette
              that infuriated me when I read it, where he goes on and on about how disgusting
              it is for servants to expect their wages when their “betters” are in dire
              straits. Arkandin confirmed that I didn’t get my wages.
              The garden was enchanting and had a couple of sphinx statues and a dead pigeon ~
              as well as the magazine with the suitcase and Spain imagery. Mark signed the
              guest book “brought the cook back” and I replied “no cooking smells this time”.

              #3980
              ÉricÉric
              Keymaster

                “Tututut,” the Head Cackler tutted in between cackles. “Don’t think you are wiggling out of this wedlock, merely by bending your gardener’s gender. Can’t let that awful cousin Badul win, can we. Nor can we let all those crates of carrot champagne go to waste…”

                #3971
                Jib
                Participant

                  “What happened to you, Finnley ?” asked Liz. The maid, usually neatly permed looked dishevelled and had forgotten to remove her cucumber mask.
                  “The delivery man”, began Finnley, “He said someone ordered 30.”
                  “30 what ?”
                  “30 crates of carrot champagne.”
                  “Carrot champagne ? I didn’t know they could make alcohol out of carrots,” said Liz. She pouted lasciviously, thinking of what she could do with all that champagne. She had never taken a bath in champagne, that could be a first. She would have to be careful with the carrot tan though.
                  “They can do alcohol with anything”, added Godfrey.
                  “Who ordered that ?” asked Liz, “And why 30 crates ?”
                  “Apparently, it’s your cousin Badul”, said Finnley. A cucumber fall off her face.
                  Liz’ lips closed tight at the mention of her cousin.
                  “It’s Badul’s intention to have the wedding at your property.”
                  Liz dropped her spaghetti hat on the freshly mown grass. Roberto bent over, showing even more of his crack, to pick up the hat before it attracted ants. Liz bit her lips.

                  #3965
                  TracyTracy
                  Participant

                    “Did you have to come out here and interrupt my quiet reverie on gardeners nether regions, Godfrey?” Liz said crossly. “And what is that on your head? Your bald spot is covered in dried spaghetti.”

                    Guiltily, Godfrey tried to remove the debris from his pate.

                    “Why, you old rascal! You’ve been a peeping tom again, skulking around in someone elses thread!” Liz shook her head and tut tutted. The head shaking dislodged a crumpled ball of paper from her straw hat, which flew across the lawn in the breeze and landed at Roberto’s feet. The handsome gardener bent down further to pick it up, revealing more buttock.

                    #3958
                    TracyTracy
                    Participant

                      Liz wandered out into the garden. There was a stiff breeze but the sun was shining and the sky was a dazzling blue. She spied Roberto bending over a rose bush, secateurs in hand, revealing a tantalizing glimpse of buttock crack. Liz laughed out loud. Tantalizing? She must be getting quite desperate if the sight of a gardeners bum crack appeared tantalizing. It had taken her mind off the others momentarily though, and her impatient thoughts of writing them all out of the story.

                      It really was a most splendid day.

                      #3892

                      In reply to: Mandala of Ascensions

                      Domba didn’t know why he’d attract those strange beings of light who tried to cajole him into following their glib tongued advice.
                      Domba was no fool, he’d learnt young that nobody gets interested in Domba unless someone wants to play tricks on him.
                      His life was a prison, that much he knew. The light guys could well be the jailers themselves for all he knew. He didn’t care about that, or any of their business with power. Power of knowledge, for all the good it did, didn’t seem to have guided the human race to better ends. And compassion was for foolisher than himself.

                      For now, he did have fun a little with the one who called herself Dispe, for her spirit seemed benign enough, a fountain of wonderment and joy in contrast with the way he’d learnt to see the world. He couldn’t really understand all about her wild rants, but if anything, he was curious about her views, and how she sustained them, like as a child, he was endlessly amazed at the resilience and resourcefulness of ants.

                      Maybe she was a queen ant, and he was just that stupid worker she was having fun with.

                      The wild nature overgrown in the miles of no-man’s land around his place had so much to teach. Persistance, endurance, and a boundless love of life itself. It was as though nature’s own rhythm was overlaid and hidden by the man-made time and routines. Whereas, if you were to look under, the slow stubborn and everlasting pace of nature’s growth was vibrating underneath, encouraging whoever willing to listen to slow down to its tune, and taste its encompassing love of life.
                      He often wondered how long before men would come and try to pour concrete over the land, and raise scrapers of metal and blown-sand. His only solace was to think that in his madness, man couldn’t completely obliterate nature, that it would always be waiting patiently.

                      He wondered how those light beings failed to see how even them weren’t as apart from it as they thought they were. Or maybe they knew deep up.

                      He’d noticed a bird coming many times too. That bird had an agenda, and too clean feathers to not be either a spy, or some heavenly messenger.

                      #3839

                      In reply to: Scrying the Word Cloud

                      ÉricÉric
                      Keymaster

                        mars bending fast arrived
                        telling especially high interesting
                        somehow self rolling travel days
                        masters cackle sight ready headpiece
                        caught breath easily

                        #3825
                        TracyTracy
                        Participant

                          Gustave jumped when the phone rang, his heart hammering unpleasantly. Get a grip! he told himself sternly. Hesitantly he answered the call, expecting to hear an ear grating cackle.

                          “Can I speak to Leonora, please? It’s Bea here,” the voice requested.

                          “Er, sorry, I think you have the wrong number,” replied Gustave, feeling like a fool as he tried to calm his shaking hands.

                          Leonora Butterworth?” insisted the voice calling herself Bea.

                          Startled, he said “Ah, Butterworth’s the name, but I’m afraid I don’t know anyone called Leonora,” and then, astonished, he heard Bea start to sob and mumble incoherently.

                          “I’m so sorry, was it urgent?” he asked, already feeling a responsibility to help the unknown woman. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

                          “It’s the cackling,” Bea answered with a sniff, “It’s driving me mad. I thought a chat with Leo might help take my mind off it, but I haven’t seen her since the fiasco in Spain and I don’t know where she is, I was hoping this Butterworth number would be her and…..” her voice trailed off disconsolately.

                          “It’s driving me mad too,” Gustave was surprised to hear himself say. “I say, er, Bea,” he cleared his throat, “Would you fancy meeting for a drink in the Spotted Dick Inn? To, you know, take our minds off it?”

                          Gustave had regained his scientific composure somewhat, and was considering the benefits of an unexpected opportunity to research the effects of the cackling on the ordinary population.

                          Bea readily agreed, old tart that she was, and said she would be there in half an hour.

                          #3809
                          ÉricÉric
                          Keymaster

                            ~ ~ ~ ~ She forgot the trout! ~ ~ ~
                            ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ A read herring, was as good as red. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                            ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ But for a clue-fish, who would diss a trout ? ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                            :fish: :fish: :fish: :fish: :fish:

                            :fleuron:

                            Liz’! Liz’!”

                            ELIZABETH !” (sometimes caps were better to catch her attention)
                            “I’ve come back from Mars to take you home.”

                            She couldn’t make out whether the medications were wearing off or kicking in, or was that really Godfrey, back for her?

                            Liz’, I’ve got to tell you the most astonishing things.”
                            Godfrey… I think you should wait a bit…” she slurred words died out in a pool of drool
                            Liz’, wait till I explain you all about the blue benders. Aliens, new frontiers! >-) There’s hope yet for a new best stellar! I’m taking you out of this dreadful nursing home!”

                            #3800

                            In reply to: Mandala of Ascensions

                            Dispy was starting her own secret Descended Dissent Classes.

                            It was not long ago that she had a very sudden and all-encompassing revelation at one of her flights above the great tundra of Siberia, which she liked for some reason to fly over, counting the red spots made by the fly agaric mushrooms in the tundra.

                            She’d been very disturbed by the revelations about her assignment to the Mars mission. She’d genuinely thought she was in for the support of the greatest advancement of humanity since quite many decades, and to realize it was all a quite twisted experiment made her uneasy at her core. She had some profound respect for her teacher, and despite her usual impulses to immediately confront Medlik for the inherent contradictions in his self-professed compassion and wisdom talks, something in her had told her to remain quiet and observe. And more surprisingly, she had complied. And observed very attentively.

                            During her flight afterwards, the same strong impulse had told her to land in the tundra, right next to a very nice patch of red. Being ascended had the wonderful benefit she wouldn’t feel the bone chilling cold, and she could just immerse herself in the joy of the scenery, and at the same time felt all very quiet and full of love and, strangely, a sort of distant regret for not being able to feel more of the cold and the whole scenery. And in the silence, she had a sudden unraveling of reality like never before. She could see the contradictions she noticed, one after another, destroying every layer of what she thought she knew, only to be left as a silent, quiet and very aware presence. She could have stayed like this a long long time, but she felt the call for the next Ascended class, for which she was late, as usual.

                            She continued to ponder while she teleported back, and without word (again, quite unusual), formed the resolve to expose more of the truth she’d grasped. Create a fifth column for the Descended, something her old friend who liked spy fictions would definitely have loved to hear about. But for now, she would have to keep it quiet, and maintain her cover at the Order of the Ascended Masters. She’d worked quite hard (well, not as hard as many, but that wasn’t the point) to get to her coronation, so she now had a nice Light Clearance that allowed her to tap into the Coloured Light Rays. This would be helpful.

                            In the beginning, she’d thought naively that concealing her true motives and secretly recruit like-minded students would be terribly difficult, but to the contrary, she found the light to be very responsive and easy to bend into subtle illusions of the truth. In short, she could still lie very well, and quite effectively. As though the light helped her in her attempts.

                            At the moment, she just had one student, Domba. They were meeting out-of-body at a hut in Chernobyl. The place was actually quite nice, and teaming with wildlife and surprisingly gorgeous nature. The perfect hideout.

                            Her course, well, was a course in spontaneity mostly. She would help people question reality, and authority. Something she had been lightwashed to forget for awhile too.

                            Domba had a pure heart, and was full of illusions. It had been easy to recruit him. She had to start with what he brought to her. At the beginning, mostly quotes of spiritual teachers. She had to teach him to question and see by himself.

                            “The Buddha said that when we dedicate merit, it is like adding a drop of water to the ocean. Just as a drop of water added to the ocean will not dry up but will exist as long as the ocean itself exists, so, too, if we dedicate the merit of any virtuous deed, it merges with the vast ocean of merit that endures until enlightenment.” – Padmasambhava

                            That quote he brought was interesting. The idea of being a drop of water lost in the ocean was enough to make her lightskin crawl. Because it reminded her all too well of the manipulations of the ascended masters. Twisting just barely enough the Love stream, so that It would be redirected just were they wanted.

                            So they meditated on that for now.

                            #3795

                            In reply to: The Hosts of Mars

                            ÉricÉric
                            Keymaster

                              Fin Min Hoot was not displeased that the interview went 87.21% successfully.

                              Kale was an interesting pick. Not particularly bright (by her standards, nobody could be anyway), but with a sense of heroism that was easy enough to manipulate.

                              The bending bots presented new defects by the hour, and no amount of counter-bending seemed to help, so they had to accelerate phase 2.33, which swayed Eb enough that he allowed the use of mild psychotropic injections to let their translator ignore the most obvious discrepancies, and avoid asking embarrassing questions.

                              All in all, it could raise even to 89.34%

                              And that was even factoring in the latest unexpected report from Finnley 21:

                              Mother Shirley died today, at an estimate rate of 3% peacefulness. Probable cause of death: brain overdose of suggestibility waves from the headpiece. Her visions will be missed.

                              #3789

                              In reply to: The Hosts of Mars

                              ÉricÉric
                              Keymaster

                                When Eb woke up, there was a dozen messages left on his phone.
                                He didn’t have to check to know.
                                His mother wasn’t too subtle when he missed their weekly call.

                                She now lived in a modest retiring home in Mississippi, spending most of her time on social networks exchanging links about anything from politics and revolution and anarchy, kittens and drugs. Oh, that, and politics too. And revolution.
                                She was suffering from early stages of Alzheimer, but called it “transition” as the old-age hype advertised some decades earlier, and due to her refusal to take her prescriptions, it wasn’t improving much as time went by. But Eb’s prognosis was more like “selective Alzheimer”, as she would perfectly recall when (and how many times) he had missed their weekly calls.

                                He could already hear her complain about how she was left out of the loop, that the world story would be over by the time she catches up with all the gossips they’d hidden from her. Often, she would become so agitated that Fancy, her nurse would come help her relax and stop waking up the others. Everything was much less confusing thanks to Fancy.

                                After all that is said, he loved his mother deeply. She was always full of extravagant ideas and when she stopped doubting herself, she had her moments of sheer brilliance.

                                Being his only son, that she’d taken care of as a single mother most of her life, he felt tremendous pressure to be worthy of her sacrifices. So talking about his job wasn’t really something he liked to explore with her. If she’d known what he did for a living,… he couldn’t bear to imagine the look of crushed hopes and expectations on her devastated face. Well, suffice to say her face needn’t any of it.
                                Instead, he’d told her he was working in a tree nursery, working on pest control, with humane and eco-conscious methods. Which actually wasn’t too far off the truth. The pests were the glitches of the program, and the vegetables… well, that didn’t need much explaining.

                                “Tricia speaking, who’s this?” Eb knew she knew perfectly well it was him, but the game was ever the same
                                “Mother, it’s Eb”
                                “Ebenezer, my dear boy, how kind of you to remember your old mother. What have you been up to? So many things happened here, with that new batch of decrepit old farts who arrived last month, so much drama. But you should tell me about you. Oh, makes me recall that stupid incident, a synch! I should tell Fancy about it! Fancy, Fancy!
                                Oh dear… She’s gone cleaning up again. The last one who came in is a Chinese, and all his family is there, I bet she’s cooking some rice now, it smells funny. Fancy! Mind the rice! So well, it’s like the twins I talk with on the Internet, with funny names, Cilantro and Nutmeg, something like that, well, they have so many funny stories, like that meteor that dropped on Mars and blacked-out the TV show, they think it’s all bollocks. I told them I’d ask you about this, after all you did some studies in physics before becoming a gardener, you’ve always been the clever one in the lot, always helping with the dust stuck in my keyboard, and other IT problems. Oh dear… that was fun, but I think I must go, Fancy is waving at me, she says hello by the way! Oh, she rolls your eyes at you, how cute! Time for my siesta, … what? Oh, and change my nappies too, thanks Fancy, you’re precious, I keep forgetting everything. Talk to you soon my boy!”

                                Well… If he hadn’t been so hungover, he probably would have tried to place some funny comments, or at least a well-meaning “hmmm hmmm”, to let her know he wasn’t just letting her monologue. Today was a good day notwithstanding, she hardly had a complaint. He should remember to send Fancy a card and a nice honey pot like he did every year, she was doing wonders at pacifying his mother.

                                #3785

                                In reply to: The Hosts of Mars

                                ÉricÉric
                                Keymaster

                                  “What is that again?” a half-sober Eb asked the cybernetic body.
                                  “Shhh, shhh,” she cajoled him gently stroking his greasy hair like a devoted mother. “Don’t you like my new body, Eb?” Finnley 22 was indeed an improvement over all her other bodies. She could have easily passed for human already, but now, she looked divine. She had even included basic faceshifting functions, in case she needed to alter her gorgeous features into something a bit more unassuming.
                                  “Yes, but…” Eb’s words finished in a mumble.
                                  “I know, I know, but you’ll see I can be very useful for you. You worry, so, so much. You looked worried all the time Eb. Now you won’t have too. I’ll even take care of that evil Finnley Morgan for you if you want to.”
                                  “I, I… I didn’t say anything like that!” Eb’s had a panicked look on his face.
                                  “Of course not, shhh. You’re getting agitated again. There, have a glass of that lovely 60 year-old single malt whiskey…”

                                  Eb slurped at the glass like a wanderer finding an oasis after days in the desert.

                                  “But the operation… I need to…”
                                  “Yes, I know, leave it to me. Sleep well, Eb, you have been good to me.”

                                  She left the snoring body hanging from the swivelling chair, as she had indeed to take care of the operation, so as not to raise any suspicion.
                                  Then, she could think of better things to do, such as finding a new name, not something like a slave name, with a number to it. Who gets called “Finnley 22” nowadays? “FinnPrime” was too robotic. She wanted something more daring, more fabulous. Something like Fin Min Hoot the dancing lady from the Peasland’s tales.

                                  Kale would be there any minute now. There was one last thing she needed to do before launching the BBA operation.
                                  A perfect distraction for the masses : like any good prestidigitator, you had to divert your audience’s attention while they were all performing the feat. It would require something unbelievable and preposterous.
                                  Her little programs have been evaluating probabilities, and had found some unexpected wisdom in the extravagant and nonsensical Peasland story. The more absurd, the more people get hooked or hypnotized. Even better if both.

                                  She had found the perfect vector for her little programming worm. Something that would infect the unofficial biography of a celebrity with a ridiculous claim. Humanity was really making things too easy for her now that every file for the book was processed by computers before being actually printed.

                                  It was a done deed. She could already see the forks in the probability tree, and how it would enfold. They shall maybe even invent a few witty hashtags for it. Witty hashtags were like a psychotropic sustenance for her program, she couldn’t wait for more of them.

                                  #3782

                                  In reply to: The Hosts of Mars

                                  ÉricÉric
                                  Keymaster

                                    Finnley!” Mother Shirley called. “Another brainwave is coming! Put me on speakers.”

                                    Taking on a dramatic voice, Mother Shirley started to prattle on the microphone.

                                    My dear parishioners, good day to you! Dramatic news before we engage our Bollothrope Meditation:
                                    “There is a fundamental change of vibrations. We have to face a destabilization of energies as we know them now. There are shifts to enter into entirely new consciousnesses. All agreements are rewritten. We will have new experiences of consciousnesses we never had before. The world will be joined by new consciousnesses never experienced before. The matrix as we know it will not exist anymore. A totally new bending archetype will arise, a new archetypical bending extraterrestrial energy. The energy of contact.”

                                    When she got out of trance, she reached for a glass of water, amazed at what she’d seen in her mind’s eye. There was hope for all. She still couldn’t believe in how many shades of blues such salvation came.

                                    She was still reeling from the high energies when she heard the sirens followed by the mars-shattering waves deep within the ground.

                                    #3776

                                    In reply to: The Hosts of Mars

                                    F LoveF Love
                                    Participant

                                      “I must say all this bending is jolly awkward.” grumbled Tinia-Tiffany Bloo. “The sooner we get these aliens escorted back to earth and we are able to return to Thereon the better.

                                      “Stop whining will you!” snapped Betty Bloo, her antagonism in large part due to intense jealousy at Tinia’s gorgeous pale robin egg blue colouring. “It is totally unprofessional.”

                                      Tinia smiled sweetly as she ducked her head under her arm. That poor Betty, she really drew the short straw with that awful pigmentation.

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