Search Results for 'elizabeth'
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June 2, 2017 at 2:35 am #4331
In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
“What was in the bag, Finnley, tell us!”
Everyone was looking at the maid after the Inspector had left hurriedly, under the pretext of taking care of a tip he had received on the disappearance of the German girl.Godfrey was the most curious in fact. He couldn’t believe in the facade of meanness that Finnley carefully wrapped herself into. The way she cared about the animals around the house was a testimony to her well hidden sweetness. Most of all, he thought herself incapable of harming another being.
But he had been surprised before. Like when Liz’ had finished a novel, long ago.“Alright, I’ll show you. Stay there, you lot of accomplices.”
Godfrey looked at Liz’ sideways, who was distracted anyway by the gardener, who was looking at the nearby closet.
“Liz’, will you focus please! The mystery is about to be revealed!”
“Oh shut up, Godfrey, there’s no mystery at all. I’ve known for a while what that dastardly maid had done. I’ve been onto her for weeks!”
“Really?”
“Oh, don’t you give me that look. I’m not as incapable as you think, and that bloodshot-eyes stupor I affect is only to keep annoyances away. Like my dear mother, if you remember.”
“So tell us, if you’re so smart now. In case it’s really a corpse, at least, we may all be prepared for the unwrapping!”
“A CORPSE! Ahaha, you fool Godfrey. It’s not A corpse! It’s MANY CORPSES!”Godfrey really thought for a second that she had completely lost it. Again. He would have to call the nearby sanatorium, make up excuses for the next signing session at the library, and cancel all future public appear…
“Will you stop that! I know what you’re doing, you bloody control machine! Stop that thinking of yours, I can’t even hear myself thinking nowadays for all your bloody thinking. Now, as I was saying of course she’d been hiding all the corpses!”
“Are you insane, Liz’ —at least keep your voice down…”
“Don’t be such a sourdough Godfrey, you’re sour, and sticky and all full of gas. JUST LET ME EXPLAIN, for Lemone’s sake!”Godfrey fell silent for a moment, eyeing a lost peanut left on a shelf nearby.
Conscious of the unfair competition for Godfrey’s attention Elizabeth blurted it all in one sentence:
“She’s been collecting them, my old failed stories, the dead drafts and old discarded versions of them. Hundreds of characters, those little things, I’d given so many cute little names, but they had no bones or shape, and very little personality, I had to smother them to death.” She started sobbing uncontrollably.That was then that Finnley came back in the room, panting and dragging the sack coated in dirt inside the room, and seeing the discomfit Liz’ with smeared make-up all over her eyes.
“Oh, bloody hell. Don’t you tell me I brought that dirty bag of scraps up for nothing!”
She left there, running for the door screaming “I’m not doing the carpets again!”
And closed the door with a sonorous “BUGGER!”
May 14, 2017 at 8:01 pm #4325In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
But the young upstart Finnley was having none of it. As a distraction tactic, she turned on her benevolent benefactor and with a toss of her head and an impudent tilt to her pugnacious chin, she let fire a volley of accusations.
“How very dare you admonish me in front of the Inspector, and sharply too!” Finnley complained.
Elizabeth rolled her eyes conspiratorially with Inspector Melon, mouthing the words “can’t get the staff” as she replied, “Don’t take the piss, Finnley!”
May 13, 2017 at 1:09 am #4323In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
“Watch yourself, Godfrey,” hissed Finnley menacingly. “I’ve already cleared up one little nuisance from round this place.”
Godfrey paled and took back the peanut butter jar which earned him a perfunctory nod from Finnley.
“Don’t hiss, Finnley,” admonished Liz sharply. “Speak up so that the whole class can hear.” She tittered and fluttered her eyelashes at Walter, unfortunately accentuating her lack of sleep and bloodshot eyes in the process.
“Yes, what DID you say, young lady?” asked Inspector Melon. He prided himself on being able to deduce that something suspicious was going on and nothing, the considerable charms of Elizabeth Tattler notwistanding, was going to divert him from his duties.
April 8, 2017 at 8:23 pm #4285In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
“Trusting that the invisible connecting links are seamlessly interwoven even if they are not apparent is not for the faint hearted” added Jingle.
“Who said that?” cried Elizabeth and Finnley in unison, with varying degrees of exaggerated surprise.
Oblivious, Godfrey continued his tuneless bellowing, his voice rising to an ear splitting falsetto as he sang A Weave A Weave Oh.
April 7, 2017 at 1:55 am #4284In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
“You can’t make a braid, if you don’t move your thread” Godfrey sung with a powerful baritone.
“And you can’t make a cut, if…” sniggered Finnley, still all wet from her trip to the grocery store under the debbie downpour.“Oh hold that thought!” Elizabeth raised her finger, “there’s a gem hemmed there.”
She turned to Finnley “and get yourself a towel darling, you’re making the floor all slippery.”
April 6, 2017 at 7:35 pm #4283In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
“Don’t bother me with that now, Finnley! We really must do something about that loose hanging thread before it trips us up. Godfrey will wrap it up, and we will unravel again. We’ve left those poor dears hanging by a thread ~ again! ~ stitched up….. if we carry on like this we’ll never get characters to agree to work in our stories again! And who could blame them! They gem hemmed into a scene and left there. Until someone tries to patch it up, and then it all starts fraying at the seams.”
“Is something needling you, Elizabeth?”
“I can do without your warped sense of humour. Do pay attention dear, how can we knit this all back together?”
April 1, 2017 at 5:01 pm #4280In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
“But I got April Fools Day, dear, which is altogether more interesting,” replied Elizabeth.
“I was going to ask you if you could jog my memory about something but perhaps today is not the best day to ask.”November 21, 2016 at 6:41 pm #4196In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
“Saddle Felicity’s dragon, Finnley, and Saddle Godfrey’s too. Felicity might need a spare. And stop gaping at me!” Elizabeth continued to beam magnanimously at her little treasure, the cleaning lady.
“Godfrey’s been experimenting with his hallucinogenic botanicals again,” she added, lowering her voice. “He probably won’t notice, or else he’ll just think it’s his mind playing tricks on him again.”
“You’ve been wanting to get rid of those dragons ever since we started, haven’t you?” asked Finnley. She didn’t need an answer, she knew it was true.
“You look like the cat who got the cream,” she said to Liz.
November 21, 2016 at 10:21 am #4194In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
“You’re not leaving here without taking your dragon! You can’t leave it here!” Elizabeth shouted. “You! You there, handsome gardener man! Stop that woman climbing over the fence!”
Elizabeth glared at Godfrey again. “I’m not sure you can be trusted to saddle up her dragon, frankly. Finnley! Where is that dratted maid? Finnley!”
November 21, 2016 at 7:01 am #4190In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
Liz was aghast. What had her characters been writing about her now? If there was one thing Elizabeth had learned while unleashing characters into the reality experience, was that there was no such thing as control. You could not expect the expected when it came to characters. It was almost as if they had a mind of their own.
“Not so fast!” she shouted to Felicity who was trying to climb the fence with the help of a sturdy old vine. She glared at Godfrey. “Now look what you’ve started.”
November 13, 2016 at 8:03 pm #4184In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
“Oh. how ridiculous!” exclaimed Elizabeth, throwing a transcript at Godfrey.
Deftly catching the paper being tossed in the whirlwind of a forceful exhalation of Liz’s cigarette smoke, he raised an eyebrow but remained silent.
“She had a dream, you see,” continued Liz. “A dream about a writer and her maid. She mentioned it to me because she had one of those funny feelings it was about me, and when she told me, well the first thing I thought about was, well, you know….”
But Godfrey wasn’t listening, he was winking at Finnley who was reading over his shoulder. The maid stifled a giggle.
“So then I said to her,” Elizabeth explained, “‘I wonder what she’s been up to, left to her own devices?” and then she asked him all about it, and that’s what he said. Thrown me for a loop, I must say.”
E: (chuckling) Left to her own devices, she generates considerable intensity in extremes.
A: is this a character that has become a focus?
E: Reverse.
A: So it’s a focus that has become a character…. is there any information on the focus itself that I could offer her to play with that?
E: The focus is a past focus, but a recent past focus…a past focus in the timeframework of the 1940s…
A: in the Americas?
E: This focus travels, but I would express is based in Britain.
A: That makes sense.
E: And in actuality is involved with early computers…with large cables. LARGE cables…
A: [babble babble ohh ahh blah blah] …and she is female?
E: Yes.
July 20, 2016 at 12:43 am #4134In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
The front door rang at the same time.
Elizabeth was in the mood to let it ring until whoever was there finally let it go, but there was an imperative and distinct sting in that ring.
She wrapped her night gown around her waist, carefully adjusted her towel beehive coiffe, and sluggishly slid on her rabbit slippers to the door. That summer heat was just too unbearable.
“COMING!” She yelled at the door, estimating her arrival there at another good minute of bunny slipper sliding and slaloming around the scattered mess.
When she finally managed to open the door, her worst fears proved true.
“Elizabeth! What sort of attire is that?! Are you sloshed already?”
Liz’ managed a pitiful smile “ Mother, how lovely seeing you here.”
“Damn bloody right it is, and not a minute too late, by the look of that place. Having another of your barmy spells haven’t you? I knew something was wrong when that delightful maid of yours stopped phoning in for her daily report. Now, budge up, let me in, take care of that mess of yours.”
February 18, 2016 at 8:09 pm #3935In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
Cynchtia and Serene Dipity had a tea room and cake shoppe on the banks of the river Nedge. You won’t find the river Nedge on any maps, nor will you find Slack Alice’s Cake Hole, despite it’s world famous Chakra Buns. The story hadn’t been written yet about the Dipity’s; they were fragments of a ludic imagination, loosely lucid and at times ludicrously lewd. Llewellyn The Leotard was beginning to take shape, although what that had to do with Slack Alice’s Cake Hole, Elizabeth wasn’t quite sure.
February 15, 2016 at 5:41 pm #3932In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
“Godfrey, what on earth are you mumbling about now, while that man is running around the grounds with a rubber duck in his hands! Please do focus on the matter at hand! He’s stumbled into the wrong thread, surely?”
Elizabeth wrung her hands. “The characters are all running amok!”
The Roberto story had been finished long ago ~ or had it?
Finnley would know. But where was she?
February 8, 2016 at 9:04 pm #3928In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
“Godfrey, shouldn’t you DO something about that? The characters are wandering all over the place, on the wrong threads, wandering right out of stories, whether they’ve been written out or not. They’re all just doing whatever they damn well want, it’s getting ridiculous!”
Obligingly Godfrey cackled loudly, in what Liz presumed was a game attempt to restore some order in the threads (mistakenly assuming momentarily that they were in Caketown) .
“Are they all turning into anarchists?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Don’t be daft, Godfrey, you can have characters that are anarchists, but you can’t have anarchists that are characters, where will it end? Who will be in control, and lead the story?”
“The writer will have to follow the lead of the characters, then, and support their moves with filler and back story.”
Elizabeth felt faint. “What are you suggesting?” she whispered, filled with dread and uncertainty.
January 7, 2016 at 9:00 am #3859In reply to: Cakletown and the Lone Chancers of Custard
Flinnley plicked up Glodfrey’s head, that was still swilming with the ramifications in the cacklwarium, and plut it black florceflully on the man’s bloody blody.
“Gloss” said Arona with a disglusted flace.
“Thanks, Finnley. Godfrey, doln’t be so pleaslandish”, said Lelizabeth to Glodfrey, “there lare and will lalways be more lants in all the probable versions of Earth than there will be chlaracters in a stooly.” She tlook some tlime to appreciate what she had just said, finding it would sound good for the plosterity.October 20, 2015 at 8:46 am #3809In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
~ ~ ~ ~ She forgot the trout! ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ A read herring, was as good as red. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ But for a clue-fish, who would diss a trout ? ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“Liz’! Liz’!”
…
“ELIZABETH !” (sometimes caps were better to catch her attention)
“I’ve come back from Mars to take you home.”She couldn’t make out whether the medications were wearing off or kicking in, or was that really Godfrey, back for her?
“Liz’, I’ve got to tell you the most astonishing things.”
“Godfrey… I think you should wait a bit…” she slurred words died out in a pool of drool
“Liz’, wait till I explain you all about the blue benders. Aliens, new frontiers! >-) There’s hope yet for a new best stellar! I’m taking you out of this dreadful nursing home!”September 14, 2015 at 7:56 am #3772In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
“Finnley, there you are!” Elizabeth snickered at the new Filipino maid, “don’t balk at me like that, darling, and read me a quote of dear ol’ Lemone, from his inspired words of wide wisdom in his new compilation of aphorisms Reduction of My Broad Thinking .”
The new nurse was looking desperately around the nursing home’s room. She’d been warned her patient was a tough cookie, or that’s probably what they meant by ‘tart pickle’ anyway.
“Yes, yes, that book!” Liz shrieked of delight. Since Godfrey left her for Marcella, she never quite recovered.
She could hear the words pouring in her head like an earworm symphonie of words in knots, and of naughts in wad.
Prunella started to read the phonebook with painful anguish, while Elizabeth was writhing in pure delight at the words she was hearing :
“Pas de lieu Rhône que noue… Etymologically, the French word dénouement is derived from the Old French word desnouer, “to untie”, from nodus, Latin for “knot.” It is the unravelling or untying of the complexities of a plot. But can we unknot the knot we know not? Hence the need for good plot knot development. My denouement should be done in accordance with swift Japanese johakyo style, but never shy to include a few Dei ex machina, some toasted honeyed MacGuffins, or a tartine of marmite and red herring, washed down with Chekhov’s gunpowder tea.”
August 28, 2015 at 9:15 am #3754In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
Elizabeth frowned, and wondered: who the fuck was Percy? She sighed deeply, wondering if there was any way round it, or if there was no option but to read back and get the facts in order.
July 13, 2015 at 6:28 pm #3746In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
“What dragon tree in the park?” asked Elizabeth, frowning. “Oh, that one! Well, the funny thing is that I haven’t seen it again since.”
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