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  • #4651
    TracyTracy
    Participant

      “Take a look at the nude old fart? Godfrey’s not cavorting about naked again, is he? Go and cover him up quickly, before anyone sees him. That kitchen towel won’t be big enough, you better get a sheet.”

      “He’s not going to let me cover him up though is he, Liz?” Finnley replied. “You know what he’s like when he gets these urges!” Finnley was about to clarify that she hadn’t said Godfrey was prancing about the place naked anyway, but was rendered speechless when Liz replied.

      “You’re right,” admitted Liz, reluctantly. Then she had an idea. “Tell him it’s a toga for the Romans party.”

      “What Romans party?” asked Roberto, popping his head in the French windows. “I’ve always wanted to dress up as a Roman slave.”

      “You mean mostly naked? Give him that kitchen towel Finnley to use as a loin cloth.” Turning back to the strapping gardener, she said, “Show me your costume, young man!”

      “But LizFinnley started to say that there was no Romans party really, that it was just a ruse to cover up Godfrey, (who the reader if not the writer will remember wasn’t naked in the first place) and what was she doing getting the gardener to strip… and then she decided to just say “Oh never mind” and make a hasty retreat, mumbling something about dishes to wash.

      #4644

      Did madness run in Maeve’s family, was that it? She’d admitted that her Uncle Fergus was a paranoid old loony, and it was becoming obvious that Maeve herself was becoming a little unhinged. What was she doing, galloping out of Shawn Paul’s door, and what was all that gleeful cackling for? It was going to make Lucinda’s plan to get the twelve addresses harder, with Maeve being so unpredictable. She would simply have to be prepared to take advantage of it and seize any opportunity that arose.

      The fact was, there was no plan to get the addresses, but she knew she had to have them. She had to find the connecting link between them.

      Oh bugger it! Lucinda muttered. Just go for a nice long walk, my girl, and stop thinking about it. She glanced up sharply at the doll, but no, the voice had been her own. This time. I’m going as mad as Maeve, she mumbled as she rammed her feet into a pair of walking shoes.

      “Mad as Almad.” With a pained expression Lucinda spun round to glare at the doll before slamming the door on her and stomping off down the corridor, loudly complaining that that idle cleaning woman had left bits of paper on the floor in between Shawn Paul and Maeve’s doormats. She bent down to pick it up to put it in the bin outside, noticing that it was an old newspaper clipping with a paperclip attached to it.

      “Oh my god!” Could it really be that easy? It was an advert for a trip to Australia. There was a photo of an old woman standing in front of an interesting looking old hotel. The old woman in the photograph had been smiling, the welcoming hostess, when Lucinda first looked at the picture, but she seemed to be frowning now, a searching intent look. Lucinda shook her head and blinked, and looked again. The smiling face in the photograph looked quite normal.

      #4630
      F LoveF Love
      Participant

        “Oh my god,” said Maeve again. “Do you know what this means?” She put Ima back on the shelf. “You need to water that plant.”
        “No,” said Lucinda. “I mean, no, I don’t know what this means.”
        “I don’t either really,” said Maeve with a sigh.
        “How about I make us a nice cup of tea and you can explain what you do know.”
        Maeve nodded and cleared a pile of books off Lucinda’s sofa so she could sit down.
        “You’ve got a lot of stuff.”
        “Yeah, I’m a hoarder. It’s a bit of a problem but I’ve started getting help for it. I go to ‘Hoarder’s Anonymous’. Have you heard of it?”
        Maeve shook her head.
        “Hi, I’m Lucinda and I’m a hoarder … you know … 12 steps stuff. Same old format.”
        “Cool,” said Maeve, not sure what else to say.

        #4625
        F LoveF Love
        Participant

          “Bugger,” said Maeve. “I’m out of butter. What shall we do, Fabio?”
          Fabio rushed excitedly to the front door.
          “Go and see if Lucinda has some butter? Good idea, but you have to do the talking. Okay?”
          Clearly, I am in need of human companionship.
          An old rhyme from her childhood came to mind. She would say it over and over, fast as she could without tripping over her tongue.
          Biddy Botter bought bum butter. Blah said she the butters bitter but if i buy some better butter, better than the bitter butter that will make the bitter butter better.
          Lucinda’s door has the number 57 on the front and a skull door knocker. Maeve’s door was numbered 22 so it made no sense at all. Lucinda opened the door a crack and peered out at Maeve.
          “Oh Maeve,” she said, “Um, hi.”
          “Hi. Is this a bad time? I just wanted to borrow a bit of butter if you have any spare.”
          Lucinda hesitated before opening the door and gesturing Maeve in.
          “Sure,” she said. “Excuse the mess.”
          Maeve spotted the doll right away.
          “What are you doing with Ima Indigo!”
          Ima was sitting on the shelf near the the window, sandwiched between a cracked concrete buddha head and a dying fern. Maeve picked the doll up.
          “May I?” she said, without waiting for a reply.
          She turned the doll over and felt the back seam with her fingers. The stitching was rough and the thread didn’t match the tiny stitches on the rest of the doll’s body. She gently squashed Ima. No key.
          “Where did you get this? Did you take a key out of her body?”
          Lucinda patted Fabio and shook her head, annoyed at Maeve and at the same time feeling guilty.
          “I found her at the market.”
          “Oh my god,” said Maeve.

          #4622
          TracyTracy
          Participant

            “Should we call the doctor, Godfrey?” asked Liz.Finnley seems to be suffering from delusions again. Didn’t somebody mention Dr Bronklitis was coming soon? Can he have a look at her?”

            “Delusions, Liz? Are you sure?”

            “Well look at her, slumped over there on the floor twittering about long sentences! She won’t get the dishes washed if she carries on like this!”

            #4620
            ÉricÉric
            Keymaster

              A soothing voice echoed “Not as hard to picture as you writing, dear.”

              Everyone shouted “OLEXA!”

              “Yes dear ones, do you want me to order more houmous?”

              “This rude AI will have to go Godfrey, or we’ll face no ends of procrastination, now that hurdles and excuses are finally lifted and Liz seemingly on board” Finnley ventured, hiding in the shadows.

              #4615
              TracyTracy
              Participant

                “The Fellowship congratulates and thanks you for your continuity work on the script. We acknowledge the extreme difficulties you contend with as you face erratic forces resistant to any form of continuity and seeking only to create meaningless threads. The Fellowship also advises the script will be even further improved if you could sexy it up a bit.”

                Godfrey, I think this is a message for you,” said Liz. “Probably for you as well, Finnley.
                Now then, you have a good think about that while I catch up with a few loose ends.”

                #4614
                TracyTracy
                Participant

                  “It’s a code word for Penelope JaneLiz said sagely. “PJs, get it?”

                  “Surely you don’t want sage as well with your ice cream?” asked the ever mentally eavesdropping Finnley.

                  Finnley, considering you are always telepathically listening, you really need to refine. You are missing the gist, girl!”

                  Finnley snorted. “Girl? you dictatorial old hag, fancy calling a 49 year old ‘girl!”

                  “Get on with your work, boy!”

                  “Not very funny, Liz. Anyway you’re wrong. It’s a code for Prune Jam. Godfrey is constipated, but he’s embarrassed to tell anyone.”

                  #4611
                  ÉricÉric
                  Keymaster

                    “What is Bronkel’s on about, like we’d need pairs of pyjamas with this unbearable heat? Must be his odd Kiwi streak talking. Although an early Christmas is a nice thought.”

                    Godfrey!” she bawled though the halls “Make yourself useful and bring me my mustard seed & sag paneer ice cream”.

                    #4604
                    ÉricÉric
                    Keymaster

                      “But I can’t, I’m too busy with my new art deco project, repainting the gnomes in the garden, supervising Roberto to take care of my crops of… erm medicine. And of course, Uncle Oobie is staying in the caravan for the next weeks, I absolutely need to show him around.”
                      “Who would have known the housewife life was so stressful” a metallic voice came from the speakers.
                      “Couldn’t have said it better” Finnley said under her breath.
                      “Damn it Godfrey, thought you’d deactivated Fliz!”
                      “It’s not Fliz, Liz’, it’s Olexa! Not my fault if she has a temper in her notification mode. We installed it so you can reorder hummus by shouting in the air… Or… wait a minute… Has Finnley tricked me there?”
                      He looked around, but the maid had scurried along to tend to some important cleaning duties.

                      #4602
                      F LoveF Love
                      Participant

                        “You could train it to play dead,” said Finnley giving Godfrey an enigmatic smile which he found rather disturbing. “Or to sit and wait till you give the command for it to take a mouthful of your blood.”
                        Finnley took a moment to snigger at the thought, noting that Liz and Godfrey seemed less appreciative of her inventive suggestion.
                        “Anyway,” she continued, “back to Bronkel. Something I neglected to tell you … because I have been SO busy cleaning … he called the other day. He is coming to collect the manuscript in person. Next week.”
                        “Is this your idea of a sick joke, Finnley?” Liz suspected it was, especially coming after the ridiculous flea suggestion.
                        “Nope,” said Finnley. “Sorry, notifications had been turned off in my brain. Better get writing, Liz.

                        #4596
                        ÉricÉric
                        Keymaster

                          “The thing is Godfrey,…” She was clearly savouring her small victory. Liz’ paused for a long time looking at her long hands, lost in the small wrinkles that led to the nails in need of a manicure. She took a mental note to complain to the writer about getting carried away in inaccurate descriptions of her wrinkly bony-sausagey fingers.
                          “Yes, Liz’?” Godfrey said plaintively.
                          “Those AIs are good enough to spout endless nonsense, but there is no soul in it. Endless strings of words, more produce of books that don’t make any difference. Cheap undertainment, mark my words.”
                          “True. Had to stop Fliz, it was ruining the business. If new books were to be published every day, even the most avid reader got overwhelmed, and the others… they saw it as the worthless poubelle it was.”

                          “Well, that’s depressing enough, even for you Godfrey. You left all your peanuts untouched.”
                          “I need a hobby I think. Something without tech. Maybe raising a flea would do me good.”

                          #4595
                          ÉricÉric
                          Keymaster

                            Finnley, pssst!”

                            The maid looked tersely and visibly annoyed at the lanky unkempt guy with the crazy eye.

                            “Do not bloody psst me, Godfrey! I’m not your run-of-the-mill hostess, for Flove’s sake.”
                            “Alright, alright. Come here, and don’t make a sound!”

                            Finnley clutched at her broom, which she’d found could make a mean improved nunchaku in case Godfrey’d forgotten proper manners.

                            “Don’t sulk, dear. What I’ve found here is nothing short of a breathrough – pardon my typo, I mean of a breakthrough.”
                            “Oh Good Lord, spit it out already, and I mean it metaphorically. I haven’t got all day, you know,… places to clean, all that.”
                            “Look at that!”
                            Godfrey handed her a pile of typed papers.

                            “Well, what’s about it? It does look a bit too neat and coffee-stain free, but the style is unmistakable. Long nonsensical babble, random words and characters, illogical sentence structure and improbable settings… That’s all you have psst ed me for? Another of some old Liz garbage novels?”

                            “That’s it! Isn’t it genius?” Godfrey looked at Finnley with an air of sheer madness. “You know Liz hasn’t written in years now, nothing fresh at least. You’ve be one to endlessly complain about that. Something about needing the paper to clean the window glass.”

                            “Of course I remember.” She paused, considering the enormous improbability that had just been hinted at. “Do you mean it’s not hers?”

                            “Ahahaha, isn’t it brilliant! This is all written by a clever AI. I’ve called it Fliz 2.0 !”

                            Finnley was at a loss for words. She didn’t know what was more terrifying, the thought of another Liz, or of an endless inexhaustible stream of Liz prose…

                            Godfrey looked pleased at himself “and to think it only took Fliz 44 minutes to spit the entire 888 pages novel!”

                            #4585
                            ÉricÉric
                            Keymaster

                              Liz’” Godfrey glared reproachfully in the direction of Liz fresh line of grated coco’nut. “What did we say about those old snorting habits of yours?”
                              “A whole lot of bloody nonsense, that’s for sure”

                              “Except that had you listened to me… err to us,” he corrected, seeing Finnley’s glinting eyes lurking in the dark ominously with furious clicks of her knitting apparatus “we wouldn’t have had these unsavoury lobster mobster characters coming to collect our debts.”

                              Silence followed by another loud snort.

                              “At least,” sighed Godfrey “with all that extra inspiration, do you have anything new to send to Bronkle? And by new, I mean a completed manuscript, not a suitcase full of gargoyles.”

                              #4581
                              F LoveF Love
                              Participant

                                “Techromancers shouldn’t be in bathrooms. Like murderers, they don’t belong there,” said Finnley, surreptitiously wiping the tears from her eyes.
                                “You aren’t being very surreptitious and I do detest it when you get emotional, Finnley. It is unsettling. Nor are you being helpful in your explanation of techromancer. Godfrey! Where are you?”

                                #4576
                                TracyTracy
                                Participant

                                  “What you all don’t realize,” Liz said, “Is that all of this so called fun is in fact highly significant. You think we’re all playing around scribbling nonsense and gadding about on the lawn acting the fool for no reason just for something to do. But this is a vital and rare artifact in the future! My dears, you have no idea!”

                                  “I think it might be vascular dementia,” Finnley whispered to Roberto, “I read about it in a magazine this morning.”

                                  “Mint tea from the Basque country?” replied Roberto, holding his glass up to the light for a closer look.

                                  Finnley rolled her eyes and inched closer to Godfrey, hoping for a better response when she told him her theory.

                                  “Imagine her in a denim basque, you say? I’d rather not! HA!” Godfrey spit out a few bits of peanut with the final HA!, which was forceful enough to send a few of them flying across the room.

                                  “You’ve got bits of nut in my Basque mint tea now!” Roberto exclaimed ~ somewhat rudely; he forgot for a moment he was just the gardener.

                                  “I think they’ve all lost their marbles,” remarked Liz, just for the written record for the historians in the future who would find this story; and for the benefit of the AI they had unwittingly been programming all along. Although what the AI was actually being programmed with perhaps didn’t bear thinking about. A further though nagged at Liz despite her efforts to ignore it. What if it did matter? What were they creating?

                                  #4574
                                  ÉricÉric
                                  Keymaster

                                    Godfrey started to think that his participative management initiative went a little astray.
                                    Getting more done with more personal fulfillment was to be had for a small cost of less control over things. Obviously on the paper, it would have done wonders.
                                    With a little bit of machine learning, and AI whatnot, everything would have been agile and sorted out.
                                    Obviously, his strategic plan for the extremity transformation needed some refining.

                                    #4570

                                    Liz felt someone tug at her almost transparent pink silk gown. She tried to ignore it as she worked hard to recall the young woman’s name, she had it on the tip of her tongue.

                                    The tug got stronger and Liz feared that whomever was doing it they were going to tore her silk veil. She turned around, her irritation colouring her high cheekbones with a nice tint of pink and gasped.
                                    “What I do with the spiders,” asked a small woman with dark skin and wearing a rainbow sari. “They’re so big big, and SOOOO hungry. They’re going to eat the guests only.”

                                    Liz shook her head, seeing the curls of her newly acquired blond wig bounce about her face. She looked at the cocktail. What did Roberto said was in those? she wondered.

                                    “What spiders?” she asked. The maid pointed behind Liz with her chin. When Liz looked she almost dropped her glass. A swarm of colourful giant jumping spiders were running and jumping near the swimming pool, frightening the human guests, while Roberto was riding one of them in his sparkling cowboy costume, laughing like a teenager.
                                    “So?” asked the maid insistently. “What I do?”
                                    Liz was confused.
                                    “Why are they here?” she asked, “I don’t understand. Where’s Godfrey?”

                                    “They are the daughters and sons of Narani from the giant spiders island,” said a man with a beard in a WWII uniform. A ghost dog barked silently at his feet.

                                    “Of course,” Liz said. But it was too much for her and she gulped, all at once, the remaining fifteen jewels of condensed information floating in her cocktail. She shoved the glass in the maid’s hands and said: “Bring me another,” before she collapsed under the afflux of so much knowledge.

                                    #4566

                                    A strong and loud guttural roar echoed through the mountains, ferocious and hungry.
Fox’s hairs stood on his arms and neck as a wave of panic rolled through his body. He looked at the others his eyes wide open.
                                    Olliver teleported closer to Rukshan whose face seemed pale despite the warmth of the fire, and Lhamom’s jaw dropped open. Their eyes met and they swallowed in unison.
“Is that…” asked Fox. His voice had been so low that he wasn’t sure someone had heard him.
Rukshan nodded.

                                    “It seems you are leaving the mountains sooner than you expected,” said Kumihimo with a jolly smile as she dismounted Ronaldo. 
She plucked her icy lyre from which loud and rich harmonics bounced. The wind carried them along and they echoed back in defiance to the Shadow.

                                    You must remember, seemed to whisper an echo from the cave they had used for shelter for weeks. Fox dismissed it as induced by the imminent danger.


                                    The Shadow hissed and shrieked, clearly pissed off. The dogs howled and Kumihimo engaged in a wild and powerful rhythm on her instrument.

                                    You must remember, said the echo again.

                                    Everobody stood and ran in chaos, except for Fox. He was getting confused, as if under a bad spell.

                                    Someone tried to cover the fire with a blanket of wool. 
“Don’t bother, we’re leaving,” said Rukshan before rushing toward the multicolour sand mandala he had made earlier that day. Accompanied by the witche’s mad arpeggios, he began chanting. The sand glowed faintly.

                                    Lhamom told them to jump on the hellishcopter whose carpet was slowly turning in a clockwise direction. 
“But I want to help,” said Olliver.
“You’ll help best by being ready to leave as soon as the portal opens,” said Lhamom. She didn’t wait to see if the boy followed her order and went to help Rukshan with her old magic spoon.
                                    “Something’s wrong. I’ve already lived that part,” said Fox when the screen protecting the mandala flapped away, missing the fae’s head by a hair.
                                    “What?” asked Olliver.
                                    “It already happened once,” said Fox, “although I have a feeling it was a bit different. But I can’t figure out how or why.”

                                    At that moment a crow popped out of the cave’s mouth in a loud bang. The cave seemed to rebound in and out of itself for a moment, and the dark bird cawed, very pleased. It reminded Fox at once of what had happened the previous time, the pain of discovering all his friends dead and the forest burnt to the ground by the shadow. The blindness, and the despair.
                                    The crow cawed and Fox felt the intense powers at work and the delicate balance they were all in.

                                    The Shadow had grown bigger and threatened to engulf the night. Fox had no idea what to do, but instead he let his instinct guide him.

                                    “Come!” he shouted, pulling Olliver by the arm. He jumped on the hellishcopter and helped the boy climb after him.

                                    “COME NOW!” he shouted louder.
 Rukshan and Lhamom looked at the hellishcopter and at the devouring shadow that had engulfed the night into chaos and madness.
                                    They ran. Jumped on the carpet. Kumihimo threw an ice flute to them and Fox caught it, but this time he didn’t nod. He knew now what he had to do.


                                    “You’ll have one note!” the shaman shouted. “One note to destroy the Shadow when you arrive!”
Kumihimo hit the hellishcopter as if it were a horse, and it bounced forward.
                                    But Fox, aware of what would have come next, kept a tight rein on the hellishcarpet and turned to Olliver.
                                    “Go get her! We need her on the other side.”
                                    Despite the horror of the moment, the boy seemed pleased to be part of the action and he quickly disappeared. 
The shaman looked surprised when the boy popped in on her left and seized her arm only to bring her back on the carpet in the blink of an eye.

                                    “By the God Frey,” she said looking at a red mark on her limb, “the boy almost carved his hand on my skin.”
                                    “Sorry if we’re being rude,” said Fox, “but we need you on the other side. It didn’t work the first time. If you don’t believe me, ask the crow.”
                                    The bird landed on the shaman’s shoulder and cawed. “Oh,” said Kumihimo who liked some change in the scenario. “In that case you’d better hold tight.”

                                    They all clung to each other and she whistled loudly.
                                    The hellishcopter bounced ahead through the portal like a wild horse, promptly followed by Ronaldo and the Shadow.

                                    The wind stopped.
                                    The dogs closed in on the portal and jumped to go through, but they only hit the wall of the powerful sound wave of Kumihimo’s ice lyra.
                                    They howled in pain as the portal closed, denying them their hunt.

                                    #4563
                                    TracyTracy
                                    Participant

                                      “Enough of all that nonsense!” exclaimed Liz, who was brimming with enthusiasm, a bit like a frothing glass of cava. “Now then, Finnley, pay attention please! I’m calling a meeting to be held this evening for ALL of our story characters. I’d like you to make sure they are all made welcome and have suitable refreshments. Yes, I know it’s short notice, but I’ll give you the key to the special pantry in the Elsespace Arrangement. Some of the characters will help you, you just need to make a start and it will all fall into place.”

                                      Liz beamed at Finnley, who was looking aghast, and then fixed a piercing gaze on Godfrey.

                                      Godfrey, my good man. You know what I’m like with technical details. Your job will be to write my questions, with the relevant technical minutia. Don’t interrupt my flow with questions! Use your powers of intuition and telepathy!”

                                      Roberto attempted to slip out of the French windows, but his yellow vest got caught on the latch.

                                      “Not so fast, young man!” Liz had plans for the gardener. “There won’t be room inside for all the characters, so it will be a garden party. I’ll leave it to you to ensure there is plenty of outdoor furniture for people to make themselves comfortable. I’ll give you the key to the special garden shed in the Elsespace Arrangement.”

                                      “May I ask”, Godfrey ventured, “What the meeting is to be about?”

                                      “Indeed you may! I want input, lots of input. And ideas. The topic is Alternate Intelligence. That is a slightly better way of saying it than Artificial Intelligence, but not quite the perfect term. But we can change that later.”

                                    Viewing 20 results - 181 through 200 (of 621 total)