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  • #7875

    Mars Outpost — Fueling of Dreams (Prune)

    I lean against the creaking bulkhead of this rust-stained fueling station, watching Mars breathe. Dust twirls across the ochre plains like it’s got somewhere important to be. The whole place rattles every time the wind picks up—like the metal shell itself is complaining. I find it oddly comforting. Reminds me of the Flying Fish Inn back home, where the fireplace wheezed like a drunk aunt and occasionally spit out sparks for drama.

    Funny how that place, with all its chaos and secret stash hidey-holes, taught me more about surviving space than any training program ever could.

    “Look at me now, Mater,” I catch myself thinking, tapping the edge of the viewport with a gloved knuckle. “Still scribbling starships in my head. Only now I’m living inside one.”

    Behind me, the ancient transceiver gives its telltale blip… blip. I don’t need to check—I recognize the signal. Helix 25, closing in. The one ship people still whisper about like it’s a myth with plumbing. Part of me grins. Half nostalgia, half challenge.

    Back in ’27, I shipped off to that mad boarding school with the oddball astronaut program. Professors called me a prodigy. I called it stubborn curiosity and a childhood steeped in ghost stories, half-baked prophecies, and improperly labeled pickle jars. The real trick wasn’t the calculus—it was surviving the Curara clan’s brand of creative chaos.

    After graduation, I bought into a settlers’ programme. Big mistake. Turns out it was more con than colonization, sold with just enough truth to sting. Some people cracked. I just adjusted course. Spent some time bouncing between jobs, drifted home a couple times for stew and sideways advice, and kept my head sharp. Lesson logged: deceit’s just another puzzle with missing pieces.

    A hiss behind the wall cuts into my thoughts—pipes complaining again. I spin, scan the console. Pressure’s holding. “Fine,” which out here means “still not exploding.” Good enough.

    I remember the lottery ticket that got me here— 2049, commercial flights to Mars at last soared skyward— and Effin Muck’s big lottery. At last a seat to Mars, on section D. Just sheer luck that felt like a miracle at the time. But while I was floating spaceward, Earth went sideways: asteroid mining gone wrong, panic, nuclear strikes. I watched pieces of home disappear through a porthole while the Mars colonies went silent, one by one. All those big plans reduced to empty shells and flickering lights.

    I was supposed to be evacuated, too. Instead, my lowly post at this fueling station—this rust bucket perched on a dusty plateau—kept me in place. Cosmic joke? Probably. But here I am. Still alive. Still tinkering with things that shouldn’t work. Still me.

    I reprogrammed the oxygen scrubbers myself. Hacked them with a dusty old patch from Aunt Idle’s “Dream Time” stash. When the power systems started failing and had to cut all the AI support to save on power, I taught myself enough broken assembly code to trick ancient processors into behaving. Improvisation is my mother tongue.

    “Mars is quieter than the Inn,” I say aloud, half to myself. “Only upside, really.”

    Another ping from the transceiver—it’s getting closer. The Helix 25, humanity’s last-ditch bottle-in-space. They say it’s carrying what’s left of us. Part myth, part mobile city. If I didn’t have the logs, I’d half believe it was a fever dream.

    But no dream prepares you for this kind of quiet.

    I think about the Inn again. How everyone swore it had secret tunnels, cursed tiles, hallucinations in the pantry. Honestly, it probably did. But it also had love—scrambled, sarcastic love—and enough stories to keep you wondering if any of them were real. That’s where I learned to spot a lie, tell a better one, and stay grounded when the walls started talking.

    I smack the comm panel until it stops crackling. That’s the secret to maintenance on Mars: decisive violence.

    “All right, Helix,” I mutter. “Let’s see what you’ve got. I’ve got thruster fuel, half-functional docking protocols, and a mean kettle of tea if you’re lucky.”

    I catch my reflection in the viewport glass—older, sure. Forty-two now. Taller. Calmer in the eyes. But the glint’s still there, the one that says I’ve seen worse, and I’m still standing. That kid at the Inn would’ve cheered.

    Earth’s collapse wasn’t some natural catastrophe—it was textbook human arrogance. Effin Muck’s greedy asteroid mining scheme. World leaders playing hot potato with nuclear codes. It burned. Probably still does… But I can’t afford to stew in it. We’re not here to mourn; we’re here to rebuild. If someone’s going to help carry that torch, it might as well be someone who’s already walked through fire.

    I fiddle with the dials on the fuel board. It hums like a tired dragon, but it’s awake. That’s all I need.

    “Might be time to pass some of that brilliance along,” I mutter, mostly to the station walls. Somewhere, I bet my siblings are making fun of me. Probably watching soap dramas and eating improperly reheated stew. Bless them. They were my first reality check, and I still measure the world by how weird it is compared to them. Loved them for how hard they made me feel normal after all.

    The wind howls across the shutters. I stand up straight, brush the dust off my sleeves. Helix 25 is almost here.

    “Showtime,” I say, and grin. Not the nice kind. The kind that says I’ve got one wrench, three working systems, and no intention of rolling over.

    The Flying Fish Inn shaped me with every loud, strange, inexplicable day. It gave me humor. It gave me bite. It gave me an unshakable sense of self when everything else fell apart.

    So here I stand—keeper of the last Martian fueling post, scrappy guardian of whatever future shows up next.

    I glance once more at the transceiver, then hit the big green button to unlock the landing bay.

    “Welcome to Mars,” I say, deadpan. Then add, mostly to myself, “Let’s see if they’re ready for me.”

    #7500

    At the end of the undertakers’ speech, conversations surged, drowning out the 14th-century organ music. Mother Lorena, who seemed to have taken the expression lines to a deeper level, gave imperative angry looks at her nuns who swiftly moved to meet with the witches.

    “Hold your beath,” said Eris to Jeezel. “That Mr ash blond hair is coming for you.”

    “Sh*t! I don’t have time for that,” said Jeezel looking at the striking young man. Meticulously styled to perfection and a penchant for tailored suits, she knew that kind of dandy, they were more difficult to get rid of than an army of orange slugs after a storm. She stole a champagne flute from Bartolo’s silver tray and flitted with a graceful nonchalance towards the buffet.

    “Hi Jeezel! I’m sister Maria. You’re so beautiful,” said a joyful voice. “You want some canapés? I made them myself.”

    Jeezel turned and almost moved her hand to her mouth. A young woman wearing the austere yet elegant black habit of the Roman Catholic Church was handing her a plate full of potted meat and pickles toasts. She had chameleon eyes busy looking everywhere except to what was in front of her. The white wimple covering her red hair seemed totally out of place and her face made the strangest contortions as she obviously was trying not to smile.

    “Hi, I’m… Jeezel. But you already know that,” she said. The young woman nodded too earnestly and Jeezel suddenly became aware the nuns certainly had files about her and the other witches like the ones Truella gave them. She looked at the greasy canapés and refused politely. She just had time to notice a crimson silk handkerchief in a breast pocket and a flash of ash blond hair closing in.

    “Oh! I’m sorry. I just remember, I have to go speak to my friend over there,” Jeezel said noticing Truella with a nun in a Buddhist outfit.

    She left the redhead nun with a laugh that twinkled like stardust.

    Truella’s friend didn’t seem too happy to have Jeezel barging in on their conversation. She said she was called sister Ananda. Her stained glass painted face didn’t seem to fit her saffron bhikkunis. And the oddest thing was she dominated the conversation, mostly about the diversity of mushrooms she’d been cultivating in the shade of old cellars buried deep in the cloister’s underground tunnels. Truella was sipping her soda, and nodding occasionally. But from what Jeezel could observe, the witch was busy keeping an eye on that tall, dark mortician who certainly looked suspicious.

    Young sister Maria hadn’t given up. She joined the conversation with a tray full of what looked like green and pink samosas. Jeezel started to feel like a doe hunted by a pack of relentless beagles.

    “You need to try those! Sister Ananda made them for you,” said the young Nun. Her colourful lips showed she had just tasted a few of them.

    “At last,” said Garrett with a voice too deep for such a young handsome face, “you’re as difficult to catch as moonlight on the water. Elusive, mesmerizing, and always just out of reach. One moment you’re dazzling us all with your brillance, the next…”

    “As usual, you speak too much, Garrett,” said Silas, the oldest of the morticians who just joined the group. The old man’s voice was commanding and his poise projecting an air of unwavering confidence. He had neatly trimmed grey hair and piercing hazel eyes that seem to see right through to the heart of any matter. “May we talk for a moment, dear Jeezel? I think we have some things to discuss.”

    “Do we?” she asked, a shiver going up her spine. Her voice sounded uncertain and her heart started beating faster. Did he know about the sacred relic she was looking for? Was he going to ask her on a date too?

    “The ritual, dear. The ritual we have to perform together tonight.”

    “Oh! Yes, the ritual,” she sighed with relief.

    Silas took her hand and they left the group just as Truella was asking a Garrett: “Won’t Rufus join us?”

    “I don’t think so,” he answered coldly. But his eyes were full of passion and his heart full of envy as he watched Jeezel  walk away with his mentor in a secluded lounge.

    #7384

    The lyrical tones of a familiar Irish accent halted Cedric’s reluctant attempts to make the long distance phone call.  He glanced up at the burly man unsuccessfully attempting to order a Guinness and said to him kindly that they probably didn’t have any anyway, even if they could understand him.

    “That’s a Limerick accent if ever I heard one, and it’s good, so it is, to hear it. Are you on holiday? Cedric’s the name.”

    Rogers face brightened and his broad shoulders relaxed. “I’d give anything to be back in Limerick. Can you take me home with you?”

    “Are you lost, son?” Cedric asked gently. “Not to worry my boy, I’m in a bit of a pickle meself to be honest, but we’ll sort something out, eh?”

    “The monkeys ran away from me, so they did,” Roger said. “Frigella’s gonna have my guts for garters so she is, when she finds out I’ve mucked it all up again.”

    Cedric’s eyes widened and his heart started racing. “And who might that be?” he said, doing his best to remain outwardly calm.

    “But she sent me away and then there were all those monkeys and then I don’t know what happened.”

    Clearly Roger was a bit ninepence in the shilling.

    #7224
    Jib
    Participant

      Georges was following an orange line on the floor of Jorid’s corridor with Barney on his left shoulder. The man was talking to the creature and listening to the occasional chirps Barney made as if they were part of a normal conversation.

      “You see, Barney,” said Georges. “Salomé gave us this checklist.” He tapped on the clipboard with his index finger. “I have to conduct all those experiments with you in the lab while she’s doing whatever she’s doing with the maps. Salomé loves maps, I can tell you. Always trying to invent new ones that would help us navigate all those dimensions. But they confuse me, so I’m glad to leave that to her and Jorid.”

      The two of them stopped in front of an orange door with a tag on it.

      “So you’ll ask me: ‘Georges, why are we going to the kitchen instead of going into the lab?’ —which is the blue door.”

      Georges waited for Barney’s chirp before continuing.

      “You’re right! She forgot the most important. What do you like to eat? You can’t do that in a lab with instruments stuck onto your head and tummy. It’s best done in the warm and cozy atmosphere of a kitchen.”

      The door swooshed open and they entered a bland, sanitised kitchen.

      “Jorid, morph the kitchen into a 19th century style pub, with greasy smells and a cozy atmosphere.”

      “Shouldn’t you be into the lab?” asked Jorid.

      “Let’s call it a kitchen lab,” answered Georges. “So you can tell Salomé I’m in the lab if she asks you.”

      “Most certainly.”

      The bland rooms started wobbling and becoming darker. Gas wall lamps were coming out of the walls, and a Chandeliers bloomed from the ceiling. The kitchen island turned into a mahogany pub counter behind which the cupboards turned into glass shelves with a collection of colourful liquor bottles. Right beside the beer pumps was the cornucopia, the source of all things edible, the replicator. It was simple and looked like a silver tray.

      “That’s more like it,” said Georges. He put Barney on the counter and the creature chirped contentedly to show his agreement.

      “Now, You don’t look like the kind of guy who eat salad”, said Georges. “What do you want to try?”

      Barney shook his head and launched into a series of chirps and squeals.

      “I know! Let’s try something you certainly can’t find where you come from… outer space. Jorid, make us some good pickles in a jar.”

      The replicator made a buzzing sound and a big jar full of pickles materialised on the silver tray. Barney chirped in awe and Georges frowned.

      “Why did you make a Roman jar?” he asked. “We’re in a 19th century pub. And the pickles are so huge! Aubergine size.”

      “My apologies,” said Jorid. “I’m confused. As you know, my database is a bit scrambled at the moment…”

      “It’s ok,” said Georges who feared the ship would launch into some unsolicited confidences and self deprecating moment. “A pickle is a pickle anyway.” He picked a pickle in the jar and turned towards Barney with a big grin. “Let’s try some.”

      Barney’s eyes widened. He put his hands in front of him and shook his head. The door swooshed open.

      “What have you done with the kitchen?” asked Léonard. “And what are you trying to feed this rat with?”

      “This rat has a name. It’s Barney. What are you doing here?” asked Georges.

      “Well, Isn’t it a kitchen? I’m hungry.”

      “I mean, shouldn’t you go check your vitals first in med bay?”

      “When you feel hungry, it’s enough to tell a man he’s alive and well,” said Léonard. “Nice roman jar, Jorid. Depicting naked roman fighters, archaeological finding of 2nd century BC, good state of conservation.” He looked closer. “Intricate details between the legs… You surpassed yourself on that one Jorid.”

      “Thanks for the compliment Léonard. It’s reassuring to know I’m still doing great at some things when others think I’m losing it.”

      “I never said…” started Georges.

      “You thought it.”

      Léonard took a pickle from the jar and smelled it. He winced.

      “Sure, smells like pickles enough,” he said, putting it back in the jar and licking his finger. “Disgusting.” He looked at Georges. “I was thinking of taking a shuttle and doing a little tour, while you solve the navigational array problem with Salomé.”

      “Why are you asking me? Why don’t you just take a shuttle and go there by yourself?”

      “Jorid won’t let me take one.”

      “Jorid? Why don’t you let Léonard take a shuttle?”

      “Salomé said he’s not to be left out of the ship without supervision.”

      “Oh! Right,” said Georges. “We just rescued you from a sand prison egg where you’ve been kept in stasis for several weeks and you can’t remember anything that led you there. Why don’t we let you pilot a shuttle and wander about on your own?”

      Léonard looked at Georges, annoyed. He picked a pickle from the jar and took a bite. Barney squealed. As Léonard chewed and made crunching sounds, the creature hit its head with its paw.

      “Then why don’t you come with me?” asked Léonard.

      “I can’t believe it.”

      “What? You go with me. You can supervise me wherever I go. Problem solved.”

      “No. I mean. You eating one of Barney’s pickles.”

      Léonard took another bite and chewed noisily. Barney chirped and squealed. He put his hands to its throat and spat on the counter.

      “I’m sure he won’t mind. Look at him. Doesn’t seem it likes pickles that much.”

      You hate pickles, Léonard.”

      “I know. That’s disgusting.”

      “Why do you eat them if you find it disgusting?”

      “That’s the sound of it. It’s melodious. And for some reason those pickles are particularly good.”

      Barney jumped on Georges arm and ran to his neck where he planted his little claws in.

      “Ouch!” said Georges. He slapped Léonard’s hand before the man could take one more pickle bite. “What the f*ck?”

      “Hey! Why did you do that?”

      “It’s not me,” said Georges. Barney squealed and Georges’s hands pushed the jar on the floor. It crashed and a flood of pickle and vinegar juice spread on the floor.

      “Haven’t your mother told you not to play with food?” asked Léonard diving on the floor to catch some more pickles. Barney chirped and squealed while Georges’s body jumped on Léonard and they both rolled over in the pickles.

      The door swooshed open.

      “Guys, we need to…” started Salomé. She had a set of maps in her hands. “What’s that smell? What… did you do to the kitchen? ”

      “Georges made me do it,” said Jorid.

      “Georges broke a 2nd century BC jar,” said Léonard.

      “Barney’s controlling me,” said Georges.

      The creature shrugged and removed its claws from Georges’ neck.

      “Squeak!”

      “Ouch! Thank you,” said Georges, licking the pickle juice he got on his lips during the fight.

      “I can’t believe it. Georges, you had a checklist. And it did not include the words kitchen or pickles or making a mess. And Léonard, you hate pickles.”

      “I know,” said Léonard who took a bite in the pickle he was holding. “That’s disgusting, but I can’t help it they taste so good.”

      Georges stole the pickle from Léonard’s hand and took a bite.

      “Pick your own pickle,” said Léonard, stealing it back.

      “Stop guys! That smell… Jorid what did you put in those pickles?”

      “I took the liberty to change the recipe and added some cinnamon.”

      “It doesn’t smell like cinnamon,” said Georges smelling his hands full of pickle juice. He took a bite in one and said: “Doesn’t taste like cinnamon either. I would know. I hate cinnamon since the time I was turned into an Asari.”

      “That’s it,” said Salomé. “What kind of cinnamon did you put in the brew, Jorid?”

      “I’ve heard it’s best to use local ingredients. I put cinnamon from Langurdy,” said the ship.

      “Quick! Guys, spit it out,” she said, kneeling and putting her fingers into Georges’ throat to make him puke. “Jorid, make away with the pickles,” said Salomé.

      “Nooo,” said the men.

      “Cinnamon from Langurdy is very addictive,” Salomé snapped. “You don’t want to OD on pickles, do you?”

      After they got the mess cleaned up and the kitchen went back to its normal blank state. Georges and Léonard took some pills to counter the effects of withdrawal. Salomé had them sit at the kitchen table. Georges kept blinking as if the white light on the white walls were hurting his eyes.

      “You can thank Barney if you didn’t eat more pickles,” said Salomé. “You could have had a relapse, and you know how bad it was the first time you had to flush cinnamon from your body.”

      Georges groaned.

      “Anyway. I checked the maps with Jorid and I came upon an anomaly in the Southern Deserts. Something there is causing Jorid’s confusion. We’ll have to go down there if we ever want to leave this place and time.”

      #6265
      TracyTracy
      Participant

        From Tanganyika with Love

        continued  ~ part 6

        With thanks to Mike Rushby.

        Mchewe 6th June 1937

        Dearest Family,

        Home again! We had an uneventful journey. Kate was as good as gold all the
        way. We stopped for an hour at Bulawayo where we had to change trains but
        everything was simplified for me by a very pleasant man whose wife shared my
        compartment. Not only did he see me through customs but he installed us in our new
        train and his wife turned up to see us off with magazines for me and fruit and sweets for
        Kate. Very, very kind, don’t you think?

        Kate and I shared the compartment with a very pretty and gentle girl called
        Clarice Simpson. She was very worried and upset because she was going home to
        Broken Hill in response to a telegram informing her that her young husband was
        dangerously ill from Blackwater Fever. She was very helpful with Kate whose
        cheerfulness helped Clarice, I think, though I, quite unintentionally was the biggest help
        at the end of our journey. Remember the partial dentures I had had made just before
        leaving Cape Town? I know I shall never get used to the ghastly things, I’ve had them
        two weeks now and they still wobble. Well this day I took them out and wrapped them
        in a handkerchief, but when we were packing up to leave the train I could find the
        handkerchief but no teeth! We searched high and low until the train had slowed down to
        enter Broken Hill station. Then Clarice, lying flat on the floor, spied the teeth in the dark
        corner under the bottom bunk. With much stretching she managed to retrieve the
        dentures covered in grime and fluff. My look of horror, when I saw them, made young
        Clarice laugh. She was met at the station by a very grave elderly couple. I do wonder
        how things turned out for her.

        I stayed overnight with Kate at the Great Northern Hotel, and we set off for
        Mbeya by plane early in the morning. One of our fellow passengers was a young
        mother with a three week old baby. How ideas have changed since Ann was born. This
        time we had a smooth passage and I was the only passenger to get airsick. Although
        there were other women passengers it was a man once again, who came up and
        offered to help. Kate went off with him amiably and he entertained her until we touched
        down at Mbeya.

        George was there to meet us with a wonderful surprise, a little red two seater
        Ford car. She is a bit battered and looks a bit odd because the boot has been
        converted into a large wooden box for carrying raw salt, but she goes like the wind.
        Where did George raise the cash to buy a car? Whilst we were away he found a small
        cave full of bat guano near a large cave which is worked by a man called Bob Sargent.
        As Sargent did not want any competition he bought the contents of the cave from
        George giving him the small car as part payment.

        It was lovely to return to our little home and find everything fresh and tidy and the
        garden full of colour. But it was heartbreaking to go into the bedroom and see George’s
        precious forgotten boots still standing by his empty bed.

        With much love,
        Eleanor.

        Mchewe 25th June 1937

        Dearest Family,

        Last Friday George took Kate and me in the little red Ford to visit Mr Sargent’s
        camp on the Songwe River which cuts the Mbeya-Mbosi road. Mr Sargent bought
        Hicky-Wood’s guano deposit and also our small cave and is making a good living out of
        selling the bat guano to the coffee farmers in this province. George went to try to interest
        him in a guano deposit near Kilwa in the Southern Province. Mr Sargent agreed to pay
        25 pounds to cover the cost of the car trip and pegging costs. George will make the trip
        to peg the claim and take samples for analysis. If the quality is sufficiently high, George
        and Mr Sargent will go into partnership. George will work the claim and ship out the
        guano from Kilwa which is on the coast of the Southern Province of Tanganyika. So now
        we are busy building castles in the air once more.

        On Saturday we went to Mbeya where George had to attend a meeting of the
        Trout Association. In the afternoon he played in a cricket match so Kate and I spent the
        whole day with the wife of the new Superintendent of Police. They have a very nice
        new house with lawns and a sunken rose garden. Kate had a lovely romp with Kit, her
        three year old son.

        Mrs Wolten also has two daughters by a previous marriage. The elder girl said to
        me, “Oh Mrs Rushby your husband is exactly like the strong silent type of man I
        expected to see in Africa but he is the only one I have seen. I think he looks exactly like
        those men in the ‘Barney’s Tobacco’ advertisements.”

        I went home with a huge pile of magazines to keep me entertained whilst
        George is away on the Kilwa trip.

        Lots of love,
        Eleanor.

        Mchewe 9th July 1937

        Dearest Family,

        George returned on Monday from his Kilwa safari. He had an entertaining
        tale to tell.

        Before he approached Mr Sargent about going shares in the Kilwa guano
        deposit he first approached a man on the Lupa who had done very well out of a small
        gold reef. This man, however said he was not interested so you can imagine how
        indignant George was when he started on his long trip, to find himself being trailed by
        this very man and a co-driver in a powerful Ford V8 truck. George stopped his car and
        had some heated things to say – awful threats I imagine as to what would happen to
        anyone who staked his claim. Then he climbed back into our ancient little two seater and
        went off like a bullet driving all day and most of the night. As the others took turns in
        driving you can imagine what a feat it was for George to arrive in Kilwa ahead of them.
        When they drove into Kilwa he met them with a bright smile and a bit of bluff –
        quite justifiable under the circumstances I think. He said, you chaps can have a rest now,
        you’re too late.” He then whipped off and pegged the claim. he brought some samples
        of guano back but until it has been analysed he will not know whether the guano will be
        an economic proposition or not. George is not very hopeful. He says there is a good
        deal of sand mixed with the guano and that much of it was damp.

        The trip was pretty eventful for Kianda, our houseboy. The little two seater car
        had been used by its previous owner for carting bags of course salt from his salt pans.
        For this purpose the dicky seat behind the cab had been removed, and a kind of box
        built into the boot of the car. George’s camp kit and provisions were packed into this
        open box and Kianda perched on top to keep an eye on the belongings. George
        travelled so fast on the rough road that at some point during the night Kianda was
        bumped off in the middle of the Game Reserve. George did not notice that he was
        missing until the next morning. He concluded, quite rightly as it happened, that Kianda
        would be picked up by the rival truck so he continued his journey and Kianda rejoined
        him at Kilwa.

        Believe it or not, the same thing happened on the way back but fortunately this
        time George noticed his absence. He stopped the car and had just started back on his
        tracks when Kianda came running down the road still clutching the unlighted storm lamp
        which he was holding in his hand when he fell. The glass was not even cracked.
        We are finding it difficult just now to buy native chickens and eggs. There has
        been an epidemic amongst the poultry and one hesitates to eat the survivors. I have a
        brine tub in which I preserve our surplus meat but I need the chickens for soup.
        I hope George will be home for some months. He has arranged to take a Mr
        Blackburn, a wealthy fruit farmer from Elgin, Cape, on a hunting safari during September
        and October and that should bring in some much needed cash. Lillian Eustace has
        invited Kate and me to spend the whole of October with her in Tukuyu.
        I am so glad that you so much enjoy having Ann and George with you. We miss
        them dreadfully. Kate is a pretty little girl and such a little madam. You should hear the
        imperious way in which she calls the kitchenboy for her meals. “Boy Brekkis, Boy Lunch,
        and Boy Eggy!” are her three calls for the day. She knows no Ki-Swahili.

        Eleanor

        Mchewe 8th October 1937

        Dearest Family,

        I am rapidly becoming as superstitious as our African boys. They say the wild
        animals always know when George is away from home and come down to have their
        revenge on me because he has killed so many.

        I am being besieged at night by a most beastly leopard with a half grown cub. I
        have grown used to hearing leopards grunt as they hunt in the hills at night but never
        before have I had one roaming around literally under the windows. It has been so hot at
        night lately that I have been sleeping with my bedroom door open onto the verandah. I
        felt quite safe because the natives hereabouts are law-abiding and in any case I always
        have a boy armed with a club sleeping in the kitchen just ten yards away. As an added
        precaution I also have a loaded .45 calibre revolver on my bedside table, and Fanny
        our bullterrier, sleeps on the mat by my bed. I am also looking after Barney, a fine
        Airedale dog belonging to the Costers. He slept on a mat by the open bedroom door
        near a dimly burning storm lamp.

        As usual I went to sleep with an easy mind on Monday night, but was awakened
        in the early hours of Tuesday by the sound of a scuffle on the front verandah. The noise
        was followed by a scream of pain from Barney. I jumped out of bed and, grabbing the
        lamp with my left hand and the revolver in my right, I rushed outside just in time to see
        two animal figures roll over the edge of the verandah into the garden below. There they
        engaged in a terrific tug of war. Fortunately I was too concerned for Barney to be
        nervous. I quickly fired two shots from the revolver, which incidentally makes a noise like
        a cannon, and I must have startled the leopard for both animals, still locked together,
        disappeared over the edge of the terrace. I fired two more shots and in a few moments
        heard the leopard making a hurried exit through the dry leaves which lie thick under the
        wild fig tree just beyond the terrace. A few seconds later Barney appeared on the low
        terrace wall. I called his name but he made no move to come but stood with hanging
        head. In desperation I rushed out, felt blood on my hands when I touched him, so I
        picked him up bodily and carried him into the house. As I regained the verandah the boy
        appeared, club in hand, having been roused by the shots. He quickly grasped what had
        happened when he saw my blood saturated nightie. He fetched a bowl of water and a
        clean towel whilst I examined Barney’s wounds. These were severe, the worst being a
        gaping wound in his throat. I washed the gashes with a strong solution of pot permang
        and I am glad to say they are healing remarkably well though they are bound to leave
        scars. Fanny, very prudently, had taken no part in the fighting except for frenzied barking
        which she kept up all night. The shots had of course wakened Kate but she seemed
        more interested than alarmed and kept saying “Fanny bark bark, Mummy bang bang.
        Poor Barney lots of blood.”

        In the morning we inspected the tracks in the garden. There was a shallow furrow
        on the terrace where Barney and the leopard had dragged each other to and fro and
        claw marks on the trunk of the wild fig tree into which the leopard climbed after I fired the
        shots. The affair was of course a drama after the Africans’ hearts and several of our
        shamba boys called to see me next day to make sympathetic noises and discuss the
        affair.

        I went to bed early that night hoping that the leopard had been scared off for
        good but I must confess I shut all windows and doors. Alas for my hopes of a restful
        night. I had hardly turned down the lamp when the leopard started its terrifying grunting
        just under the bedroom windows. If only she would sniff around quietly I should not
        mind, but the noise is ghastly, something like the first sickening notes of a braying
        donkey, amplified here by the hills and the gorge which is only a stones throw from the
        bedroom. Barney was too sick to bark but Fanny barked loud enough for two and the more
        frantic she became the hungrier the leopard sounded. Kate of course woke up and this
        time she was frightened though I assured her that the noise was just a donkey having
        fun. Neither of us slept until dawn when the leopard returned to the hills. When we
        examined the tracks next morning we found that the leopard had been accompanied by
        a fair sized cub and that together they had prowled around the house, kitchen, and out
        houses, visiting especially the places to which the dogs had been during the day.
        As I feel I cannot bear many more of these nights, I am sending a note to the
        District Commissioner, Mbeya by the messenger who takes this letter to the post,
        asking him to send a game scout or an armed policeman to deal with the leopard.
        So don’t worry, for by the time this reaches you I feel sure this particular trouble
        will be over.

        Eleanor.

        Mchewe 17th October 1937

        Dearest Family,

        More about the leopard I fear! My messenger returned from Mbeya to say that
        the District Officer was on safari so he had given the message to the Assistant District
        Officer who also apparently left on safari later without bothering to reply to my note, so
        there was nothing for me to do but to send for the village Nimrod and his muzzle loader
        and offer him a reward if he could frighten away or kill the leopard.

        The hunter, Laza, suggested that he should sleep at the house so I went to bed
        early leaving Laza and his two pals to make themselves comfortable on the living room
        floor by the fire. Laza was armed with a formidable looking muzzle loader, crammed I
        imagine with nuts and bolts and old rusty nails. One of his pals had a spear and the other
        a panga. This fellow was also in charge of the Petromax pressure lamp whose light was
        hidden under a packing case. I left the campaign entirely to Laza’s direction.
        As usual the leopard came at midnight stealing down from the direction of the
        kitchen and announcing its presence and position with its usual ghastly grunts. Suddenly
        pandemonium broke loose on the back verandah. I heard the roar of the muzzle loader
        followed by a vigourous tattoo beaten on an empty paraffin tin and I rushed out hoping
        to find the dead leopard. however nothing of the kind had happened except that the
        noise must have scared the beast because she did not return again that night. Next
        morning Laza solemnly informed me that, though he had shot many leopards in his day,
        this was no ordinary leopard but a “sheitani” (devil) and that as his gun was no good
        against witchcraft he thought he might as well retire from the hunt. Scared I bet, and I
        don’t blame him either.

        You can imagine my relief when a car rolled up that afternoon bringing Messers
        Stewart and Griffiths, two farmers who live about 15 miles away, between here and
        Mbeya. They had a note from the Assistant District Officer asking them to help me and
        they had come to set up a trap gun in the garden. That night the leopard sniffed all
        around the gun and I had the added strain of waiting for the bang and wondering what I
        should do if the beast were only wounded. I conjured up horrible visions of the two little
        totos trotting up the garden path with the early morning milk and being horribly mauled,
        but I needn’t have worried because the leopard was far too wily to be caught that way.
        Two more ghastly nights passed and then I had another visitor, a Dr Jackson of
        the Tsetse Department on safari in the District. He listened sympathetically to my story
        and left his shotgun and some SSG cartridges with me and instructed me to wait until the
        leopard was pretty close and blow its b—– head off. It was good of him to leave his
        gun. George always says there are three things a man should never lend, ‘His wife, his
        gun and his dog.’ (I think in that order!)I felt quite cheered by Dr Jackson’s visit and sent
        once again for Laza last night and arranged a real show down. In the afternoon I draped
        heavy blankets over the living room windows to shut out the light of the pressure lamp
        and the four of us, Laza and his two stooges and I waited up for the leopard. When we
        guessed by her grunts that she was somewhere between the kitchen and the back door
        we all rushed out, first the boy with the panga and the lamp, next Laza with his muzzle
        loader, then me with the shotgun followed closely by the boy with the spear. What a
        farce! The lamp was our undoing. We were blinded by the light and did not even
        glimpse the leopard which made off with a derisive grunt. Laza said smugly that he knew
        it was hopeless to try and now I feel tired and discouraged too.

        This morning I sent a runner to Mbeya to order the hotel taxi for tomorrow and I
        shall go to friends in Mbeya for a day or two and then on to Tukuyu where I shall stay
        with the Eustaces until George returns from Safari.

        Eleanor.

        Mchewe 18th November 1937

        My darling Ann,

        Here we are back in our own home and how lovely it is to have Daddy back from
        safari. Thank you very much for your letter. I hope by now you have got mine telling you
        how very much I liked the beautiful tray cloth you made for my birthday. I bet there are
        not many little girls of five who can embroider as well as you do, darling. The boy,
        Matafari, washes and irons it so carefully and it looks lovely on the tea tray.

        Daddy and I had some fun last night. I was in bed and Daddy was undressing
        when we heard a funny scratching noise on the roof. I thought it was the leopard. Daddy
        quickly loaded his shotgun and ran outside. He had only his shirt on and he looked so
        funny. I grabbed the loaded revolver from the cupboard and ran after Dad in my nightie
        but after all the rush it was only your cat, Winnie, though I don’t know how she managed
        to make such a noise. We felt so silly, we laughed and laughed.

        Kate talks a lot now but in such a funny way you would laugh to her her. She
        hears the houseboys call me Memsahib so sometimes instead of calling me Mummy
        she calls me “Oompaab”. She calls the bedroom a ‘bippon’ and her little behind she
        calls her ‘sittendump’. She loves to watch Mandawi’s cattle go home along the path
        behind the kitchen. Joseph your donkey, always leads the cows. He has a lazy life now.
        I am glad you had such fun on Guy Fawkes Day. You will be sad to leave
        Plumstead but I am sure you will like going to England on the big ship with granny Kate.
        I expect you will start school when you get to England and I am sure you will find that
        fun.

        God bless my dear little girl. Lots of love from Daddy and Kate,
        and Mummy

        Mchewe 18th November 1937

        Hello George Darling,

        Thank you for your lovely drawing of Daddy shooting an elephant. Daddy says
        that the only thing is that you have drawn him a bit too handsome.

        I went onto the verandah a few minutes ago to pick a banana for Kate from the
        bunch hanging there and a big hornet flew out and stung my elbow! There are lots of
        them around now and those stinging flies too. Kate wears thick corduroy dungarees so
        that she will not get her fat little legs bitten. She is two years old now and is a real little
        pickle. She loves running out in the rain so I have ordered a pair of red Wellingtons and a
        tiny umbrella from a Nairobi shop for her Christmas present.

        Fanny’s puppies have their eyes open now and have very sharp little teeth.
        They love to nip each other. We are keeping the fiercest little one whom we call Paddy
        but are giving the others to friends. The coffee bushes are full of lovely white flowers
        and the bees and ants are very busy stealing their honey.

        Yesterday a troop of baboons came down the hill and Dad shot a big one to
        scare the others off. They are a nuisance because they steal the maize and potatoes
        from the native shambas and then there is not enough food for the totos.
        Dad and I are very proud of you for not making a fuss when you went to the
        dentist to have that tooth out.

        Bye bye, my fine little son.
        Three bags full of love from Kate, Dad and Mummy.

        Mchewe 12th February, 1938

        Dearest Family,

        here is some news that will please you. George has been offered and has
        accepted a job as Forester at Mbulu in the Northern Province of Tanganyika. George
        would have preferred a job as Game Ranger, but though the Game Warden, Philip
        Teare, is most anxious to have him in the Game Department, there is no vacancy at
        present. Anyway if one crops up later, George can always transfer from one
        Government Department to another. Poor George, he hates the idea of taking a job. He
        says that hitherto he has always been his own master and he detests the thought of
        being pushed around by anyone.

        Now however he has no choice. Our capitol is almost exhausted and the coffee
        market shows no signs of improving. With three children and another on the way, he
        feels he simply must have a fixed income. I shall be sad to leave this little farm. I love
        our little home and we have been so very happy here, but my heart rejoices at the
        thought of overseas leave every thirty months. Now we shall be able to fetch Ann and
        George from England and in three years time we will all be together in Tanganyika once
        more.

        There is no sale for farms so we will just shut the house and keep on a very small
        labour force just to keep the farm from going derelict. We are eating our hens but will
        take our two dogs, Fanny and Paddy with us.

        One thing I shall be glad to leave is that leopard. She still comes grunting around
        at night but not as badly as she did before. I do not mind at all when George is here but
        until George was accepted for this forestry job I was afraid he might go back to the
        Diggings and I should once more be left alone to be cursed by the leopard’s attentions.
        Knowing how much I dreaded this George was most anxious to shoot the leopard and
        for weeks he kept his shotgun and a powerful torch handy at night.

        One night last week we woke to hear it grunting near the kitchen. We got up very
        quietly and whilst George loaded the shotgun with SSG, I took the torch and got the
        heavy revolver from the cupboard. We crept out onto the dark verandah where George
        whispered to me to not switch on the torch until he had located the leopard. It was pitch
        black outside so all he could do was listen intently. And then of course I spoilt all his
        plans. I trod on the dog’s tin bowl and made a terrific clatter! George ordered me to
        switch on the light but it was too late and the leopard vanished into the long grass of the
        Kalonga, grunting derisively, or so it sounded.

        She never comes into the clearing now but grunts from the hillside just above it.

        Eleanor.

        Mbulu 18th March, 1938

        Dearest Family,

        Journeys end at last. here we are at Mbulu, installed in our new quarters which are
        as different as they possibly could be from our own cosy little home at Mchewe. We
        live now, my dears, in one wing of a sort of ‘Beau Geste’ fort but I’ll tell you more about
        it in my next letter. We only arrived yesterday and have not had time to look around.
        This letter will tell you just about our trip from Mbeya.

        We left the farm in our little red Ford two seater with all our portable goods and
        chattels plus two native servants and the two dogs. Before driving off, George took one
        look at the flattened springs and declared that he would be surprised if we reached
        Mbeya without a breakdown and that we would never make Mbulu with the car so
        overloaded.

        However luck was with us. We reached Mbeya without mishap and at one of the
        local garages saw a sturdy used Ford V8 boxbody car for sale. The garage agreed to
        take our small car as part payment and George drew on our little remaining capitol for the
        rest. We spent that night in the house of the Forest Officer and next morning set out in
        comfort for the Northern Province of Tanganyika.

        I had done the journey from Dodoma to Mbeya seven years before so was
        familiar with the scenery but the road was much improved and the old pole bridges had
        been replaced by modern steel ones. Kate was as good as gold all the way. We
        avoided hotels and camped by the road and she found this great fun.
        The road beyond Dodoma was new to me and very interesting country, flat and
        dry and dusty, as little rain falls there. The trees are mostly thorn trees but here and there
        one sees a giant baobab, weird trees with fantastically thick trunks and fat squat branches
        with meagre foliage. The inhabitants of this area I found interesting though. They are
        called Wagogo and are a primitive people who ape the Masai in dress and customs
        though they are much inferior to the Masai in physique. They are also great herders of
        cattle which, rather surprisingly, appear to thrive in that dry area.

        The scenery alters greatly as one nears Babati, which one approaches by a high
        escarpment from which one has a wonderful view of the Rift Valley. Babati township
        appears to be just a small group of Indian shops and shabby native houses, but I
        believe there are some good farms in the area. Though the little township is squalid,
        there is a beautiful lake and grand mountains to please the eye. We stopped only long
        enough to fill up with petrol and buy some foodstuffs. Beyond Babati there is a tsetse
        fly belt and George warned our two native servants to see that no tsetse flies settled on
        the dogs.

        We stopped for the night in a little rest house on the road about 80 miles from
        Arusha where we were to spend a few days with the Forest Officer before going on to
        Mbulu. I enjoyed this section of the road very much because it runs across wide plains
        which are bounded on the West by the blue mountains of the Rift Valley wall. Here for
        the first time I saw the Masai on their home ground guarding their vast herds of cattle. I
        also saw their strange primitive hovels called Manyattas, with their thorn walled cattle
        bomas and lots of plains game – giraffe, wildebeest, ostriches and antelope. Kate was
        wildly excited and entranced with the game especially the giraffe which stood gazing
        curiously and unafraid of us, often within a few yards of the road.

        Finally we came across the greatest thrill of all, my first view of Mt Meru the extinct
        volcano about 16,000 feet high which towers over Arusha township. The approach to
        Arusha is through flourishing coffee plantations very different alas from our farm at Mchewe. George says that at Arusha coffee growing is still a paying proposition
        because here the yield of berry per acre is much higher than in the Southern highlands
        and here in the North the farmers have not such heavy transport costs as the railway runs
        from Arusha to the port at Tanga.

        We stayed overnight at a rather second rate hotel but the food was good and we
        had hot baths and a good nights rest. Next day Tom Lewis the Forest Officer, fetched
        us and we spent a few days camping in a tent in the Lewis’ garden having meals at their
        home. Both Tom and Lillian Lewis were most friendly. Tom lewis explained to George
        what his work in the Mbulu District was to be, and they took us camping in a Forest
        Reserve where Lillian and her small son David and Kate and I had a lovely lazy time
        amidst beautiful surroundings. Before we left for Mbulu, Lillian took me shopping to buy
        material for curtains for our new home. She described the Forest House at Mbulu to me
        and it sounded delightful but alas, when we reached Mbulu we discovered that the
        Assistant District Officer had moved into the Forest House and we were directed to the
        Fort or Boma. The night before we left Arusha for Mbulu it rained very heavily and the
        road was very treacherous and slippery due to the surface being of ‘black cotton’ soil
        which has the appearance and consistency of chocolate blancmange, after rain. To get to
        Mbulu we had to drive back in the direction of Dodoma for some 70 miles and then turn
        to the right and drive across plains to the Great Rift Valley Wall. The views from this
        escarpment road which climbs this wall are magnificent. At one point one looks down
        upon Lake Manyara with its brilliant white beaches of soda.

        The drive was a most trying one for George. We had no chains for the wheels
        and several times we stuck in the mud and our two houseboys had to put grass and
        branches under the wheels to stop them from spinning. Quite early on in the afternoon
        George gave up all hope of reaching Mbulu that day and planned to spend the night in
        a little bush rest camp at Karatu. However at one point it looked as though we would not
        even reach this resthouse for late afternoon found us properly bogged down in a mess
        of mud at the bottom of a long and very steep hill. In spite of frantic efforts on the part of
        George and the two boys, all now very wet and muddy, the heavy car remained stuck.
        Suddenly five Masai men appeared through the bushes beside the road. They
        were all tall and angular and rather terrifying looking to me. Each wore only a blanket
        knotted over one shoulder and all were armed with spears. They lined up by the side of
        the road and just looked – not hostile but simply aloof and supercilious. George greeted
        them and said in Ki-Swahili, “Help to push and I will reward you.” But they said nothing,
        just drawing back imperceptibly to register disgust at the mere idea of manual labour.
        Their expressions said quite clearly “A Masai is a warrior and does not soil his hands.”
        George then did something which startled them I think, as much as me. He
        plucked their spears from their hands one by one and flung them into the back of the
        boxbody. “Now push!” he said, “And when we are safely out of the mud you shall have
        your spears back.” To my utter astonishment the Masai seemed to applaud George’s
        action. I think they admire courage in a man more than anything else. They pushed with a
        will and soon we were roaring up the long steep slope. “I can’t stop here” quoth George
        as up and up we went. The Masai were in mad pursuit with their blankets streaming
        behind. They took a very steep path which was a shortcut to the top. They are certainly
        amazing athletes and reached the top at the same time as the car. Their route of course
        was shorter but much more steep, yet they came up without any sign of fatigue to claim
        their spears and the money which George handed out with a friendly grin. The Masai
        took the whole episode in good heart and we parted on the most friendly terms.

        After a rather chilly night in the three walled shack, we started on the last lap of our
        journey yesterday morning in bright weather and made the trip to Mbulu without incident.

        Eleanor.

        Mbulu 24th March, 1938

        Dearest Family,

        Mbulu is an attractive station but living in this rather romantic looking fort has many
        disadvantages. Our quarters make up one side of the fort which is built up around a
        hollow square. The buildings are single storied but very tall in the German manner and
        there is a tower on one corner from which the Union Jack flies. The tower room is our
        sitting room, and one has very fine views from the windows of the rolling country side.
        However to reach this room one has to climb a steep flight of cement steps from the
        court yard. Another disadvantage of this tower room is that there is a swarm of bees in
        the roof and the stray ones drift down through holes in the ceiling and buzz angrily
        against the window panes or fly around in a most menacing manner.

        Ours are the only private quarters in the Fort. Two other sides of the Fort are
        used as offices, storerooms and court room and the fourth side is simply a thick wall with
        battlements and loopholes and a huge iron shod double door of enormous thickness
        which is always barred at sunset when the flag is hauled down. Two Police Askari always
        remain in the Fort on guard at night. The effect from outside the whitewashed fort is very
        romantic but inside it is hardly homely and how I miss my garden at Mchewe and the
        grass and trees.

        We have no privacy downstairs because our windows overlook the bare
        courtyard which is filled with Africans patiently waiting to be admitted to the courtroom as
        witnesses or spectators. The outside windows which overlook the valley are heavily
        barred. I can only think that the Germans who built this fort must have been very scared
        of the local natives.

        Our rooms are hardly cosy and are furnished with typical heavy German pieces.
        We have a vast bleak bedroom, a dining room and an enormous gloomy kitchen in
        which meals for the German garrison were cooked. At night this kitchen is alive with
        gigantic rats but fortunately they do not seem to care for the other rooms. To crown
        everything owls hoot and screech at night on the roof.

        On our first day here I wandered outside the fort walls with Kate and came upon a
        neatly fenced plot enclosing the graves of about fifteen South African soldiers killed by
        the Germans in the 1914-18 war. I understand that at least one of theses soldiers died in
        the courtyard here. The story goes, that during the period in the Great War when this fort
        was occupied by a troop of South African Horse, a German named Siedtendorf
        appeared at the great barred door at night and asked to speak to the officer in command
        of the Troop. The officer complied with this request and the small shutter in the door was
        opened so that he could speak with the German. The German, however, had not come
        to speak. When he saw the exposed face of the officer, he fired, killing him, and
        escaped into the dark night. I had this tale on good authority but cannot vouch for it. I do
        know though, that there are two bullet holes in the door beside the shutter. An unhappy
        story to think about when George is away, as he is now, and the moonlight throws queer
        shadows in the court yard and the owls hoot.

        However though I find our quarters depressing, I like Mbulu itself very much. It is
        rolling country, treeless except for the plantations of the Forestry Dept. The land is very
        fertile in the watered valleys but the grass on hills and plains is cropped to the roots by
        the far too numerous cattle and goats. There are very few Europeans on the station, only
        Mr Duncan, the District Officer, whose wife and children recently left for England, the
        Assistant District Officer and his wife, a bachelor Veterinary Officer, a Road Foreman and
        ourselves, and down in the village a German with an American wife and an elderly
        Irishman whom I have not met. The Government officials have a communal vegetable
        garden in the valley below the fort which keeps us well supplied with green stuff. 

        Most afternoons George, Kate and I go for walks after tea. On Fridays there is a
        little ceremony here outside the fort. In the late afternoon a little procession of small
        native schoolboys, headed by a drum and penny whistle band come marching up the
        road to a tune which sounds like ‘Two lovely black eyes”. They form up below our tower
        and as the flag is lowered for the day they play ‘God save the King’, and then march off
        again. It is quite a cheerful little ceremony.

        The local Africans are a skinny lot and, I should say, a poor tribe. They protect
        themselves against the cold by wrapping themselves in cotton blankets or a strip of
        unbleached sheeting. This they drape over their heads, almost covering their faces and
        the rest is wrapped closely round their bodies in the manner of a shroud. A most
        depressing fashion. They live in very primitive comfortless houses. They simply make a
        hollow in the hillside and build a front wall of wattle and daub. Into this rude shelter at night
        go cattle and goats, men, women, and children.

        Mbulu village has the usual mud brick and wattle dukas and wattle and daub
        houses. The chief trader is a Goan who keeps a surprisingly good variety of tinned
        foodstuffs and also sells hardware and soft goods.

        The Europeans here have been friendly but as you will have noted there are
        only two other women on station and no children at all to be companions for Kate.

        Eleanor.

        Mbulu 20th June 1938

        Dearest Family,

        Here we are on Safari with George at Babati where we are occupying a rest
        house on the slopes of Ufiome Mountain. The slopes are a Forest Reserve and
        George is supervising the clearing of firebreaks in preparation for the dry weather. He
        goes off after a very early breakfast and returns home in the late afternoon so Kate and I
        have long lazy days.

        Babati is a pleasant spot and the resthouse is quite comfortable. It is about a mile
        from the village which is just the usual collection of small mud brick and corrugated iron
        Indian Dukas. There are a few settlers in the area growing coffee, or going in for mixed
        farming but I don’t think they are doing very well. The farm adjoining the rest house is
        owned by Lord Lovelace but is run by a manager.

        George says he gets enough exercise clambering about all day on the mountain,
        so Kate and I do our walking in the mornings when George is busy, and we all relax in
        the evenings when George returns from his field work. Kate’s favourite walk is to the big
        block of mtama (sorghum) shambas lower down the hill. There are huge swarms of tiny
        grain eating birds around waiting the chance to plunder the mtama, so the crops are
        watched from sunrise to sunset.

        Crude observation platforms have been erected for this purpose in the centre of
        each field and the women and the young boys of the family concerned, take it in turn to
        occupy the platform and scare the birds. Each watcher has a sling and uses clods of
        earth for ammunition. The clod is placed in the centre of the sling which is then whirled
        around at arms length. Suddenly one end of the sling is released and the clod of earth
        flies out and shatters against the mtama stalks. The sling makes a loud whip like crack and
        the noise is quite startling and very effective in keeping the birds at a safe distance.

        Eleanor.

        Karatu 3rd July 1938

        Dearest Family,

        Still on safari you see! We left Babati ten days ago and passed through Mbulu
        on our way to this spot. We slept out of doors one night beside Lake Tiawa about eight
        miles from Mbulu. It was a peaceful spot and we enjoyed watching the reflection of the
        sunset on the lake and the waterhens and duck and pelicans settling down for the night.
        However it turned piercingly cold after sunset so we had an early supper and then all
        three of us lay down to sleep in the back of the boxbody (station wagon). It was a tight
        fit and a real case of ‘When Dad turns, we all turn.’

        Here at Karatu we are living in a grass hut with only three walls. It is rather sweet
        and looks like the setting for a Nativity Play. Kate and I share the only camp bed and
        George and the dogs sleep on the floor. The air here is very fresh and exhilarating and
        we all feel very fit. George is occupied all day supervising the cutting of firebreaks
        around existing plantations and the forest reserve of indigenous trees. Our camp is on
        the hillside and below us lie the fertile wheat lands of European farmers.

        They are mostly Afrikaners, the descendants of the Boer families who were
        invited by the Germans to settle here after the Boer War. Most of them are pro-British
        now and a few have called in here to chat to George about big game hunting. George
        gets on extremely well with them and recently attended a wedding where he had a
        lively time dancing at the reception. He likes the older people best as most are great
        individualists. One fine old man, surnamed von Rooyen, visited our camp. He is a Boer
        of the General Smuts type with spare figure and bearded face. George tells me he is a
        real patriarch with an enormous family – mainly sons. This old farmer fought against the
        British throughout the Boer War under General Smuts and again against the British in the
        German East Africa campaign when he was a scout and right hand man to Von Lettow. It
        is said that Von Lettow was able to stay in the field until the end of the Great War
        because he listened to the advise given to him by von Rooyen. However his dislike for
        the British does not extend to George as they have a mutual interest in big game
        hunting.

        Kate loves being on safari. She is now so accustomed to having me as her nurse
        and constant companion that I do not know how she will react to paid help. I shall have to
        get someone to look after her during my confinement in the little German Red Cross
        hospital at Oldeani.

        George has obtained permission from the District Commissioner, for Kate and
        me to occupy the Government Rest House at Oldeani from the end of July until the end
        of August when my baby is due. He will have to carry on with his field work but will join
        us at weekends whenever possible.

        Eleanor.

        Karatu 12th July 1938

        Dearest Family,

        Not long now before we leave this camp. We have greatly enjoyed our stay
        here in spite of the very chilly earl mornings and the nights when we sit around in heavy
        overcoats until our early bed time.

        Last Sunday I persuaded George to take Kate and me to the famous Ngoro-
        Ngoro Crater. He was not very keen to do so because the road is very bumpy for
        anyone in my interesting condition but I feel so fit that I was most anxious to take this
        opportunity of seeing the enormous crater. We may never be in this vicinity again and in
        any case safari will not be so simple with a small baby.

        What a wonderful trip it was! The road winds up a steep escarpment from which
        one gets a glorious birds eye view of the plains of the Great Rift Valley far, far below.
        The crater is immense. There is a road which skirts the rim in places and one has quite
        startling views of the floor of the crater about two thousand feet below.

        A camp for tourists has just been built in a clearing in the virgin forest. It is most
        picturesque as the camp buildings are very neatly constructed log cabins with very high
        pitched thatched roofs. We spent about an hour sitting on the grass near the edge of the
        crater enjoying the sunshine and the sharp air and really awe inspiring view. Far below us
        in the middle of the crater was a small lake and we could see large herds of game
        animals grazing there but they were too far away to be impressive, even seen through
        George’s field glasses. Most appeared to be wildebeest and zebra but I also picked
        out buffalo. Much more exciting was my first close view of a wild elephant. George
        pointed him out to me as we approached the rest camp on the inward journey. He
        stood quietly under a tree near the road and did not seem to be disturbed by the car
        though he rolled a wary eye in our direction. On our return journey we saw him again at
        almost uncomfortably close quarters. We rounded a sharp corner and there stood the
        elephant, facing us and slap in the middle of the road. He was busily engaged giving
        himself a dust bath but spared time to give us an irritable look. Fortunately we were on a
        slight slope so George quickly switched off the engine and backed the car quietly round
        the corner. He got out of the car and loaded his rifle, just in case! But after he had finished
        his toilet the elephant moved off the road and we took our chance and passed without
        incident.

        One notices the steepness of the Ngoro-Ngoro road more on the downward
        journey than on the way up. The road is cut into the side of the mountain so that one has
        a steep slope on one hand and a sheer drop on the other. George told me that a lorry
        coming down the mountain was once charged from behind by a rhino. On feeling and
        hearing the bash from behind the panic stricken driver drove off down the mountain as
        fast as he dared and never paused until he reached level ground at the bottom of the
        mountain. There was no sign of the rhino so the driver got out to examine his lorry and
        found the rhino horn embedded in the wooden tail end of the lorry. The horn had been
        wrenched right off!

        Happily no excitement of that kind happened to us. I have yet to see a rhino.

        Eleanor.

        Oldeani. 19th July 1938

        Dearest Family,

        Greetings from a lady in waiting! Kate and I have settled down comfortably in the
        new, solidly built Government Rest House which comprises one large living room and
        one large office with a connecting door. Outside there is a kitchen and a boys quarter.
        There are no resident Government officials here at Oldeani so the office is in use only
        when the District Officer from Mbulu makes his monthly visit. However a large Union
        Jack flies from a flagpole in the front of the building as a gentle reminder to the entirely
        German population of Oldeani that Tanganyika is now under British rule.

        There is quite a large community of German settlers here, most of whom are
        engaged in coffee farming. George has visited several of the farms in connection with his
        forestry work and says the coffee plantations look very promising indeed. There are also
        a few German traders in the village and there is a large boarding school for German
        children and also a very pleasant little hospital where I have arranged to have the baby.
        Right next door to the Rest House is a General Dealers Store run by a couple named
        Schnabbe. The shop is stocked with drapery, hardware, china and foodstuffs all
        imported from Germany and of very good quality. The Schnabbes also sell local farm
        produce, beautiful fresh vegetables, eggs and pure rich milk and farm butter. Our meat
        comes from a German butchery and it is a great treat to get clean, well cut meat. The
        sausages also are marvellous and in great variety.

        The butcher is an entertaining character. When he called round looking for custom I
        expected him to break out in a yodel any minute, as it was obvious from a glance that
        the Alps are his natural background. From under a green Tyrollean hat with feather,
        blooms a round beefy face with sparkling small eyes and such widely spaced teeth that
        one inevitably thinks of a garden rake. Enormous beefy thighs bulge from greasy
        lederhosen which are supported by the traditional embroidered braces. So far the
        butcher is the only cheery German, male or female, whom I have seen, and I have met
        most of the locals at the Schnabbe’s shop. Most of the men seem to have cultivated
        the grim Hitler look. They are all fanatical Nazis and one is usually greeted by a raised
        hand and Heil Hitler! All very theatrical. I always feel like crying in ringing tones ‘God
        Save the King’ or even ‘St George for England’. However the men are all very correct
        and courteous and the women friendly. The women all admire Kate and cry, “Ag, das
        kleine Englander.” She really is a picture with her rosy cheeks and huge grey eyes and
        golden curls. Kate is having a wonderful time playing with Manfried, the Scnabbe’s small
        son. Neither understands a word said by the other but that doesn’t seem to worry them.

        Before he left on safari, George took me to hospital for an examination by the
        nurse, Sister Marianne. She has not been long in the country and knows very little
        English but is determined to learn and carried on an animated, if rather quaint,
        conversation with frequent references to a pocket dictionary. She says I am not to worry
        because there is not doctor here. She is a very experienced midwife and anyway in an
        emergency could call on the old retired Veterinary Surgeon for assistance.
        I asked sister Marianne whether she knew of any German woman or girl who
        would look after Kate whilst I am in hospital and today a very top drawer German,
        bearing a strong likeness to ‘Little Willie’, called and offered the services of his niece who
        is here on a visit from Germany. I was rather taken aback and said, “Oh no Baron, your
        niece would not be the type I had in mind. I’m afraid I cannot pay much for a companion.”
        However the Baron was not to be discouraged. He told me that his niece is seventeen
        but looks twenty, that she is well educated and will make a cheerful companion. Her
        father wishes her to learn to speak English fluently and that is why the Baron wished her
        to come to me as a house daughter. As to pay, a couple of pounds a month for pocket
        money and her keep was all he had in mind. So with some misgivings I agreed to take
        the niece on as a companion as from 1st August.

        Eleanor.

        Oldeani. 10th August 1938

        Dearest Family,

        Never a dull moment since my young companion arrived. She is a striking looking
        girl with a tall boyish figure and very short and very fine dark hair which she wears
        severely slicked back. She wears tweeds, no make up but has shiny rosy cheeks and
        perfect teeth – she also,inevitably, has a man friend and I have an uncomfortable
        suspicion that it is because of him that she was planted upon me. Upon second
        thoughts though, maybe it was because of her excessive vitality, or even because of
        her healthy appetite! The Baroness, I hear is in poor health and I can imagine that such
        abundant health and spirit must have been quite overpowering. The name is Ingeborg,
        but she is called Mouche, which I believe means Mouse. Someone in her family must
        have a sense of humour.

        Her English only needed practice and she now chatters fluently so that I know her
        background and views on life. Mouche’s father is a personal friend of Goering. He was
        once a big noise in the German Airforce but is now connected with the car industry and
        travels frequently and intensively in Europe and America on business. Mouche showed
        me some snap shots of her family and I must say they look prosperous and charming.
        Mouche tells me that her father wants her to learn to speak English fluently so that
        she can get a job with some British diplomat in Cairo. I had immediate thought that I
        might be nursing a future Mata Hari in my bosom, but this was immediately extinguished
        when Mouche remarked that her father would like her to marry an Englishman. However
        it seems that the mere idea revolts her. “Englishmen are degenerates who swill whisky
        all day.” I pointed out that she had met George, who was a true blue Englishman, but
        was nevertheless a fine physical specimen and certainly didn’t drink all day. Mouche
        replied that George is not an Englishman but a hunter, as though that set him apart.
        Mouche is an ardent Hitler fan and an enthusiastic member of the Hitler Youth
        Movement. The house resounds with Hitler youth songs and when she is not singing,
        her gramophone is playing very stirring marching songs. I cannot understand a word,
        which is perhaps as well. Every day she does the most strenuous exercises watched
        with envy by me as my proportions are now those of a circus Big Top. Mouche eats a
        fantastic amount of meat and I feel it is a blessing that she is much admired by our
        Tyrollean butcher who now delivers our meat in person and adds as a token of his
        admiration some extra sausages for Mouche.

        I must confess I find her stimulating company as George is on safari most of the
        time and my evenings otherwise would be lonely. I am a little worried though about
        leaving Kate here with Mouche when I go to hospital. The dogs and Kate have not taken
        to her. I am trying to prepare Kate for the separation but she says, “She’s not my
        mummy. You are my dear mummy, and I want you, I want you.” George has got
        permission from the Provincial Forestry Officer to spend the last week of August here at
        the Rest House with me and I only hope that the baby will be born during that time.
        Kate adores her dad and will be perfectly happy to remain here with him.

        One final paragraph about Mouche. I thought all German girls were domesticated
        but not Mouche. I have Kesho-Kutwa here with me as cook and I have engaged a local
        boy to do the laundry. I however expected Mouche would take over making the
        puddings and pastry but she informed me that she can only bake a chocolate cake and
        absolutely nothing else. She said brightly however that she would do the mending. As
        there is none for her to do, she has rescued a large worn handkerchief of George’s and
        sits with her feet up listening to stirring gramophone records whilst she mends the
        handkerchief with exquisite darning.

        Eleanor.

        Oldeani. 20th August 1938

        Dearest Family,

        Just after I had posted my last letter I received what George calls a demi official
        letter from the District Officer informing me that I would have to move out of the Rest
        House for a few days as the Governor and his hangers on would be visiting Oldeani
        and would require the Rest House. Fortunately George happened to be here for a few
        hours and he arranged for Kate and Mouche and me to spend a few days at the
        German School as borders. So here I am at the school having a pleasant and restful
        time and much entertained by all the goings on.

        The school buildings were built with funds from Germany and the school is run on
        the lines of a contemporary German school. I think the school gets a grant from the
        Tanganyika Government towards running expenses, but I am not sure. The school hall is
        dominated by a more than life sized oil painting of Adolf Hitler which, at present, is
        flanked on one side by the German Flag and on the other by the Union Jack. I cannot
        help feeling that the latter was put up today for the Governor’s visit today.
        The teachers are very amiable. We all meet at mealtimes, and though few of the
        teachers speak English, the ones who do are anxious to chatter. The headmaster is a
        scholarly man but obviously anti-British. He says he cannot understand why so many
        South Africans are loyal to Britain – or rather to England. “They conquered your country
        didn’t they?” I said that that had never occurred to me and that anyway I was mainly of
        Scots descent and that loyalty to the crown was natural to me. “But the English
        conquered the Scots and yet you are loyal to England. That I cannot understand.” “Well I
        love England,” said I firmly, ”and so do all British South Africans.” Since then we have
        stuck to English literature. Shakespeare, Lord Byron and Galsworthy seem to be the
        favourites and all, thank goodness, make safe topics for conversation.
        Mouche is in her element but Kate and I do not enjoy the food which is typically
        German and consists largely of masses of fat pork and sauerkraut and unfamiliar soups. I
        feel sure that the soup at lunch today had blobs of lemon curd in it! I also find most
        disconcerting the way that everyone looks at me and says, “Bon appetite”, with much
        smiling and nodding so I have to fight down my nausea and make a show of enjoying
        the meals.

        The teacher whose room adjoins mine is a pleasant woman and I take my
        afternoon tea with her. She, like all the teachers, has a large framed photo of Hitler on her
        wall flanked by bracket vases of fresh flowers. One simply can’t get away from the man!
        Even in the dormitories each child has a picture of Hitler above the bed. Hitler accepting
        flowers from a small girl, or patting a small boy on the head. Even the children use the
        greeting ‘Heil Hitler’. These German children seem unnaturally prim when compared with
        my cheerful ex-pupils in South Africa but some of them are certainly very lovely to look
        at.

        Tomorrow Mouche, Kate and I return to our quarters in the Rest House and in a
        few days George will join us for a week.

        Eleanor.

        Oldeani Hospital. 9th September 1938

        Dearest Family,

        You will all be delighted to hear that we have a second son, whom we have
        named John. He is a darling, so quaint and good. He looks just like a little old man with a
        high bald forehead fringed around the edges with a light brown fluff. George and I call
        him Johnny Jo because he has a tiny round mouth and a rather big nose and reminds us
        of A.A.Milne’s ‘Jonathan Jo has a mouth like an O’ , but Kate calls him, ‘My brother John’.
        George was not here when he was born on September 5th, just two minutes
        before midnight. He left on safari on the morning of the 4th and, of course, that very night
        the labour pains started. Fortunately Kate was in bed asleep so Mouche walked with
        me up the hill to the hospital where I was cheerfully received by Sister Marianne who
        had everything ready for the confinement. I was lucky to have such an experienced
        midwife because this was a breech birth and sister had to manage single handed. As
        there was no doctor present I was not allowed even a sniff of anaesthetic. Sister slaved
        away by the light of a pressure lamp endeavouring to turn the baby having first shoved
        an inverted baby bath under my hips to raise them.

        What a performance! Sister Marianne was very much afraid that she might not be
        able to save the baby and great was our relief when at last she managed to haul him out
        by the feet. One slap and the baby began to cry without any further attention so Sister
        wrapped him up in a blanket and took Johnny to her room for the night. I got very little
        sleep but was so thankful to have the ordeal over that I did not mind even though I
        heard a hyaena cackling and calling under my window in a most evil way.
        When Sister brought Johnny to me in the early morning I stared in astonishment.
        Instead of dressing him in one of his soft Viyella nighties, she had dressed him in a short
        sleeved vest of knitted cotton with a cotton cloth swayed around his waist sarong
        fashion. When I protested, “But Sister why is the baby not dressed in his own clothes?”
        She answered firmly, “I find it is not allowed. A baby’s clotheses must be boiled and I
        cannot boil clotheses of wool therefore your baby must wear the clotheses of the Red
        Cross.”

        It was the same with the bedding. Poor Johnny lies all day in a deep wicker
        basket with a detachable calico lining. There is no pillow under his head but a vast kind of
        calico covered pillow is his only covering. There is nothing at all cosy and soft round my
        poor baby. I said crossly to the Sister, “As every thing must be so sterile, I wonder you
        don’t boil me too.” This she ignored.

        When my message reached George he dashed back to visit us. Sister took him
        first to see the baby and George was astonished to see the baby basket covered by a
        sheet. “She has the poor little kid covered up like a bloody parrot,” he told me. So I
        asked him to go at once to buy a square of mosquito netting to replace the sheet.
        Kate is quite a problem. She behaves like an Angel when she is here in my
        room but is rebellious when Sister shoos her out. She says she “Hates the Nanny”
        which is what she calls Mouche. Unfortunately it seems that she woke before midnight
        on the night Johnny Jo was born to find me gone and Mouche in my bed. According to
        Mouche, Kate wept all night and certainly when she visited me in the early morning
        Kate’s face was puffy with crying and she clung to me crying “Oh my dear mummy, why
        did you go away?” over and over again. Sister Marianne was touched and suggested
        that Mouche and Kate should come to the hospital as boarders as I am the only patient
        at present and there is plenty of room. Luckily Kate does not seem at all jealous of the
        baby and it is a great relief to have here here under my eye.

        Eleanor.

        #6255
        TracyTracy
        Participant

          My Grandparents

          George Samuel Marshall 1903-1995

          Florence Noreen Warren (Nora) 1906-1988

          I always called my grandfather Mop, apparently because I couldn’t say the name Grandpa, but whatever the reason, the name stuck. My younger brother also called him Mop, but our two cousins did not.

          My earliest memories of my grandparents are the picnics.  Grandma and Mop loved going out in the car for a picnic. Favourite spots were the Clee Hills in Shropshire, North Wales, especially Llanbedr, Malvern, and Derbyshire, and closer to home, the caves and silver birch woods at Kinver Edge, Arley by the river Severn, or Bridgnorth, where Grandma’s sister Hildreds family lived.  Stourbridge was on the western edge of the Black Country in the Midlands, so one was quickly in the countryside heading west.  They went north to Derbyshire less, simply because the first part of the trip entailed driving through Wolverhampton and other built up and not particularly pleasant urban areas.  I’m sure they’d have gone there more often, as they were both born in Derbyshire, if not for that initial stage of the journey.

          There was predominantly grey tartan car rug in the car for picnics, and a couple of folding chairs.  There were always a couple of cushions on the back seat, and I fell asleep in the back more times than I can remember, despite intending to look at the scenery.  On the way home Grandma would always sing,  “Show me the way to go home, I’m tired and I want to go to bed, I had a little drink about an hour ago, And it’s gone right to my head.”  I’ve looked online for that song, and have not found it anywhere!

          Grandma didn’t just make sandwiches for picnics, there were extra containers of lettuce, tomatoes, pickles and so on.  I used to love to wash up the picnic plates in the little brook on the Clee Hills, near Cleeton St Mary.  The close cropped grass was ideal for picnics, and Mop and the sheep would Baaa at each other.

          Mop would base the days outting on the weather forcast, but Grandma often used to say he always chose the opposite of what was suggested. She said if you want to go to Derbyshire, tell him you want to go to Wales.  I recall him often saying, on a gloomy day, Look, there’s a bit of clear sky over there.  Mop always did the driving as Grandma never learned to drive. Often she’d dust the dashboard with a tissue as we drove along.

          My brother and I often spent the weekend at our grandparents house, so that our parents could go out on a Saturday night.  They gave us 5 shillings pocket money, which I used to spend on two Ladybird books at 2 shillings and sixpence each.  We had far too many sweets while watching telly in the evening ~ in the dark, as they always turned the lights off to watch television.  The lemonade and pop was Corona, and came in returnable glass bottles.  We had Woodpecker cider too, even though it had a bit of an alcohol content.

          Mop smoked Kensitas and Grandma smoked Sovereign cigarettes, or No6, and the packets came with coupons.  They often let me choose something for myself out of the catalogue when there were enough coupons saved up.

          When I had my first garden, in a rented house a short walk from theirs, they took me to garden nurseries and taught me all about gardening.  In their garden they had berberis across the front of the house under the window, and cotoneaster all along the side of the garage wall. The silver birth tree on the lawn had been purloined as a sapling from Kinver edge, when they first moved into the house.  (they lived in that house on Park Road for more than 60 years).  There were perennials and flowering shrubs along the sides of the back garden, and behind the silver birch, and behind that was the vegeatable garden.  Right at the back was an Anderson shelter turned into a shed, the rhubarb, and the washing line, and the canes for the runner beans in front of those.  There was a little rose covered arch on the path on the left, and privet hedges all around the perimeter.

          My grandfather was a dental technician. He worked for various dentists on their premises over the years, but he always had a little workshop of his own at the back of his garage. His garage was full to the brim of anything that might potentially useful, but it was not chaotic. He knew exactly where to find anything, from the tiniest screw for spectacles to a useful bit of wire. He was “mechanicaly minded” and could always fix things like sewing machines and cars and so on.

          Mop used to let me sit with him in his workshop, and make things out of the pink wax he used for gums to embed the false teeth into prior to making the plaster casts. The porcelain teeth came on cards, and were strung in place by means of little holes on the back end of the teeth. I still have a necklace I made by threading teeth onto a string. There was a foot pedal operated drill in there as well, possibly it was a dentists drill previously, that he used with miniature grinding or polishing attachments. Sometimes I made things out of the pink acrylic used for the final denture, which had a strong smell and used to harden quickly, so you had to work fast. Initially, the workshop was to do the work for Uncle Ralph, Grandmas’s sisters husband, who was a dentist. In later years after Ralph retired, I recall a nice man called Claude used to come in the evening to collect the dentures for another dental laboratory. Mop always called his place of work the laboratory.

          Grandma loved books and was always reading, in her armchair next to the gas fire. I don’t recall seeing Mop reading a book, but he was amazingly well informed about countless topics.
          At family gatherings, Mops favourite topic of conversation after dinner was the atrocities committed over the centuries by organized religion.

          My grandfather played snooker in his younger years at the Conservative club. I recall my father assuming he voted Conservative, and Mop told him in no uncertain terms that he’s always voted Labour. When asked why he played snooker at the Conservative club and not the Labour club, he said with a grin that “it was a better class of people”, but that he’d never vote Conservative because it was of no benefit to the likes of us working people.

          Grandma and her sister in law Marie had a little grocers shop on Brettel Lane in Amblecote for a few years but I have no personal recollection of that as it was during the years we lived in USA. I don’t recall her working other than that. She had a pastry making day once a week, and made Bakewell tart, apple pie, a meat pie, and her own style of pizza. She had an old black hand operated sewing machine, and made curtains and loose covers for the chairs and sofa, but I don’t think she made her own clothes, at least not in later years. I have her sewing machine here in Spain.
          At regular intervals she’d move all the furniture around and change the front room into the living room and the back into the dining room and vice versa. In later years Mop always had the back bedroom (although when I lived with them aged 14, I had the back bedroom, and painted the entire room including the ceiling purple). He had a very lumpy mattress but he said it fit his bad hip perfectly.

          Grandma used to alternate between the tiny bedroom and the big bedroom at the front. (this is in later years, obviously) The wardrobes and chests of drawers never changed, they were oak and substantial, but rather dated in appearance. They had a grandfather clock with a brass face and a grandmother clock. Over the fireplace in the living room was a Utrillo print. The bathroom and lavatory were separate rooms, and the old claw foot bath had wood panels around it to make it look more modern. There was a big hot water geyser above it. Grandma was fond of using stick on Fablon tile effects to try to improve and update the appearance of the bathroom and kitchen. Mop was a generous man, but would not replace household items that continued to function perfectly well. There were electric heaters in all the rooms, of varying designs, and gas fires in living room and dining room. The coal house on the outside wall was later turned into a downstairs shower room, when Mop moved his bedroom downstairs into the front dining room, after Grandma had died and he was getting on.

          Utrillo

          Mop was 91 when he told me he wouldn’t be growing any vegetables that year. He said the sad thing was that he knew he’d never grow vegetables again. He worked part time until he was in his early 80s.

          #6253
          TracyTracy
          Participant

            My Grandparents Kitchen

            My grandmother used to have golden syrup in her larder, hanging on the white plastic coated storage rack that was screwed to the inside of the larder door. Mostly the larder door was left propped open with an old flat iron, so you could see the Heinz ketchup and home made picallilli (she made a particularly good picallili), the Worcester sauce and the jar of pickled onions, as you sat at the kitchen table.

            If you were sitting to the right of the kitchen table you could see an assortment of mismatched crockery, cups and bowls, shoe cleaning brushes, and at the back, tiny tins of baked beans and big ones of plum tomatoes,  and normal sized tins of vegetable and mushroom soup.  Underneath the little shelves that housed the tins was a blue plastic washing up bowl with a few onions, some in, some out of the yellow string bag they came home from the expensive little village supermarket in.

            There was much more to the left in the awkward triangular shape under the stairs, but you couldn’t see under there from your seat at the kitchen table.  You could see the shelf above the larder door which held an ugly china teapot of graceless modern lines, gazed with metallic silver which was wearing off in places. Beside the teapot sat a serving bowl, squat and shapely with little handles, like a flattened Greek urn, in white and reddish brown with flecks of faded gilt. A plain white teapot completed the trio, a large cylindrical one with neat vertical ridges and grooves.

            There were two fridges under the high shallow wooden wall cupboard.  A waist high bulbous old green one with a big handle that pulled out with a clunk, and a chest high sleek white one with a small freezer at the top with a door of its own.  On the top of the fridges were biscuit and cracker tins, big black keys, pencils and brittle yellow notepads, rubber bands and aspirin value packs and a bottle of Brufen.  There was a battered old maroon spectacle case and a whicker letter rack, letters crammed in and fanning over the top.  There was always a pile of glossy advertising pamphlets and flyers on top of the fridges, of the sort that were best put straight into the tiny pedal bin.

            My grandmother never lined the pedal bin with a used plastic bag, nor with a specially designed plastic bin liner. The bin was so small that the flip top lid was often gaping, resting on a mound of cauliflower greens and soup tins.  Behind the pedal bin, but on the outer aspect of the kitchen wall, was the big black dustbin with the rubbery lid. More often than not, the lid was thrust upwards. If Thursday when the dustbin men came was several days away, you’d wish you hadn’t put those newspapers in, or those old shoes!  You stood in the softly drizzling rain in your slippers, the rubbery sheild of a lid in your left hand and the overflowing pedal bin in the other.  The contents of the pedal bin are not going to fit into the dustbin.  You sigh, put the pedal bin and the dustbin lid down, and roll up your sleeves ~ carefully, because you’ve poked your fingers into a porridge covered teabag.  You grab the sides of the protruding black sack and heave. All being well,  the contents should settle and you should have several inches more of plastic bag above the rim of the dustbin.  Unless of course it’s a poor quality plastic bag in which case your fingernail will go through and a horizontal slash will appear just below rubbish level.  Eventually you upend the pedal bin and scrape the cigarette ash covered potato peelings into the dustbin with your fingers. By now the fibres of your Shetland wool jumper are heavy with damp, just like the fuzzy split ends that curl round your pale frowning brow.  You may push back your hair with your forearm causing the moisture to bead and trickle down your face, as you turn the brass doorknob with your palm and wrist, tea leaves and cigarette ash clinging unpleasantly to your fingers.

            The pedal bin needs rinsing in the kitchen sink, but the sink is full of mismatched saucepans, some new in shades of harvest gold, some battered and mishapen in stainless steel and aluminium, bits of mashed potato stuck to them like concrete pebbledash. There is a pale pink octagonally ovoid shallow serving dish and a little grey soup bowl with a handle like a miniature pottery saucepan decorated with kitcheny motifs.

            The water for the coffee bubbles in a suacepan on the cream enamelled gas cooker. My grandmother never used a kettle, although I do remember a heavy flame orange one. The little pan for boiling water had a lip for easy pouring and a black plastic handle.

            The steam has caused the condensation on the window over the sink to race in rivulets down to the fablon coated windowsill.  The yellow gingham curtains hang limply, the left one tucked behind the back of the cooker.

            You put the pedal bin back it it’s place below the tea towel holder, and rinse your mucky fingers under the tap. The gas water heater on the wall above you roars into life just as you turn the tap off, and disappointed, subsides.

            As you lean over to turn the cooker knob, the heat from the oven warms your arm. The gas oven was almost always on, the oven door open with clean tea towels and sometimes large white pants folded over it to air.

            The oven wasn’t the only heat in my grandparents kitchen. There was an electric bar fire near the red formica table which used to burn your legs. The kitchen table was extended by means of a flap at each side. When I was small I wasn’t allowed to snap the hinge underneath shut as my grandmother had pinched the skin of her palm once.

            The electric fire was plugged into the same socket as the radio. The radio took a minute or two to warm up when you switched it on, a bulky thing with sharp seventies edges and a reddish wood effect veneer and big knobs.  The light for my grandfathers workshop behind the garage (where he made dentures) was plugged into the same socket, which had a big heavy white three way adaptor in. The plug for the washing machine was hooked by means of a bit of string onto a nail or hook so that it didn’t fall down behing the washing machine when it wasn’t plugged in. Everything was unplugged when it wasn’t in use.  Sometimes there was a shrivelled Christmas cactus on top of the radio, but it couldn’t hide the adaptor and all those plugs.

            Above the washing machine was a rhomboid wooden wall cupboard with sliding frsoted glass doors.  It was painted creamy gold, the colour of a nicotine stained pub ceiling, and held packets of Paxo stuffing and little jars of Bovril and Marmite, packets of Bisto and a jar of improbably red Maraschino cherries.

            The nicotine coloured cupboard on the opposite wall had half a dozen large hooks screwed under the bottom shelf. A variety of mugs and cups hung there when they weren’t in the bowl waiting to be washed up. Those cupboard doors seemed flimsy for their size, and the thin beading on the edge of one door had come unstuck at the bottom and snapped back if you caught it with your sleeve.  The doors fastened with a little click in the centre, and the bottom of the door reverberated slightly as you yanked it open. There were always crumbs in the cupboard from the numerous packets of bisucits and crackers and there was always an Allbran packet with the top folded over to squeeze it onto the shelf. The sugar bowl was in there, sticky grains like sandpaper among the biscuit crumbs.

            Half of one of the shelves was devoted to medicines: grave looking bottles of codeine linctus with no nonsense labels,  brown glass bottles with pills for rheumatism and angina.  Often you would find a large bottle, nearly full, of Brewers yeast or vitamin supplements with a dollar price tag, souvenirs of the familys last visit.  Above the medicines you’d find a faded packet of Napolitana pasta bows or a dusty packet of muesli. My grandparents never used them but she left them in the cupboard. Perhaps the dollar price tags and foreign foods reminded her of her children.

            If there had been a recent visit you would see monstrous jars of Sanka and Maxwell House coffee in there too, but they always used the coffee.  They liked evaporated milk in their coffee, and used tins and tins of “evap” as they called it. They would pour it over tinned fruit, or rhubard crumble or stewed apples.

            When there was just the two of them, or when I was there as well, they’d eat at the kitchen table. The table would be covered in a white embroidered cloth and the food served in mismatched serving dishes. The cutlery was large and bent, the knife handles in varying shades of bone. My grandfathers favourite fork had the tip of each prong bent in a different direction. He reckoned it was more efficient that way to spear his meat.  He often used to chew his meat and then spit it out onto the side of his plate. Not in company, of course.  I can understand why he did that, not having eaten meat myself for so long. You could chew a piece of meat for several hours and still have a stringy lump between your cheek and your teeth.

            My grandfather would always have a bowl of Allbran with some Froment wheat germ for his breakfast, while reading the Daily Mail at the kitchen table.  He never worse slippers, always shoes indoors,  and always wore a tie.  He had lots of ties but always wore a plain maroon one.  His shirts were always cream and buttoned at throat and cuff, and eventually started wearing shirts without detachable collars. He wore greeny grey trousers and a cardigan of the same shade most of the time, the same colour as a damp English garden.

            The same colour as the slimy green wooden clothes pegs that I threw away and replaced with mauve and fuschia pink plastic ones.  “They’re a bit bright for up the garden, aren’t they,” he said.  He was right. I should have ignored the green peg stains on the laundry.  An English garden should be shades of moss and grassy green, rich umber soil and brick red walls weighed down with an atmosphere of dense and heavy greyish white.

            After Grandma died and Mop had retired (I always called him Mop, nobody knows why) at 10:00am precisely Mop would  have a cup of instant coffee with evap. At lunch, a bowl of tinned vegetable soup in his special soup bowl, and a couple of Krackawheat crackers and a lump of mature Cheddar. It was a job these days to find a tasty cheddar, he’d say.

            When he was working, and he worked until well into his seventies, he took sandwiches. Every day he had the same sandwich filling: a combination of cheese, peanut butter and marmite.  It was an unusal choice for an otherwise conventional man.  He loved my grandmothers cooking, which wasn’t brilliant but was never awful. She was always generous with the cheese in cheese sauces and the meat in meat pies. She overcooked the cauliflower, but everyone did then. She made her gravy in the roasting pan, and made onion sauce, bread sauce, parsley sauce and chestnut stuffing.  She had her own version of cosmopolitan favourites, and called her quiche a quiche when everyone was still calling it egg and bacon pie. She used to like Auntie Daphne’s ratatouille, rather exotic back then, and pronounced it Ratta Twa.  She made pizza unlike any other, with shortcrust pastry smeared with tomato puree from a tube, sprinkled with oregano and great slabs of cheddar.

            The roast was always overdone. “We like our meat well done” she’d say. She’d walk up the garden to get fresh mint for the mint sauce and would announce with pride “these runner beans are out of the garding”. They always grew vegetables at the top of the garden, behind the lawn and the silver birch tree.  There was always a pudding: a slice of almond tart (always with home made pastry), a crumble or stewed fruit. Topped with evap, of course.

            #4857
            TracyTracy
            Participant

              WIB (workman in blue) opened his lunch box and unwrapped a sandwich. He sighed when he saw it was cheese and pickle again. It had been cheese and pickle all week, a sure sign that WAH (woman at home) wasn’t giving him the attention he deserved, throwing the easiest thing together day after day instead of planning a nice roast chicken dinner, with the prospect of a couple of days of savoury chicken sandwiches to take to work. She hadn’t even bothered to boil up a few hard boiled eggs for a bit of variety. He loved egg sandwiches. He wasn’t a hard man to please, he ruminated dolefully, chewing the cheese and pickle.

              He reached for his flask to wash it down with a gulp of tea, and noticed with some surprise that she’d bought him a new flask. His old one had a few dents in the screw on cup, and this one looked all shiny and new. Anxious to wash down the cheesy lump in his throat, he unscrewed the cap and poured the flask over the cup.

              But there was no tea in the flask, nothing poured out of it. He peered inside and shook it.

              “That woman’s lost her marbles!”

              It was the last straw. He stood up, shook the flask above his head, and roared incoherently.

              “Everything alright, mate?” asked his work colleague mildly. WIB2 was contentedly munching a juicy pink ham sandwich. He even had a packet of crisps to go with it, WIB1 noticed.

              “No tea? Fancy some of my coffee? Pass yer cup. What’s in the flask then, what’s rattling?”

              WAB1 sat back down on the low wall and upended the flask, pulling at a bit of black stuff that was protruding from the top.

              ““Maybe it’s full of banknotes!” WIB2 suggested.

              “It’s a fucking doll! What the..?”

              “Why did your old lady put a doll in your flask instead of tea, mate? Private joke or something, bit of a lark?” WIB2 elbowed WIB1 in the ribs playfully. “No?” he responded to WIB1’s scowl. “Maybe there’s something stitched inside it, then.”

              ~~~

              Lucinda, where is this going?”

              “I don’t fucking know, Helper Effy.”

              “I thought as much. Perhaps we’d better go back to the beginning.”

              #4687

              Ric was confused as to why he found himself flushed and vaguely excited by Bossy Mam’s sudden and attractive outburst.
              He was so glad the two harpies were off to goat knows where, or they would have tortured him with no end of gossiping.

              Still troubled by the stirring of emotions, he looked around, and almost spilled the cup of over-infused lapsang souchong tea he had prepared. Miss Bossy was the only one to fancy the strong flavour in a way only a former chain smoker could.

              Thankfully, she was still glaring at the window, and while he had no doubt he couldn’t hope to give her the slip for that sort of things, she probably had decided to just let it go.

              He took the chance to run to the archives, and started to dig up all he could on the Doctor.
              Sadly, the documents were few and sparse. Hilda and Connie were not known for their order in keeping records. Their notes looked more like herbariums from a botanist plagued with ADHD. But that probably meant there were lots of overlooked clues.

              He flipped through the dusty pages for a good hour, eyes wet with allergies, and he was about to bring Miss Bossy the sorry pile he had collected when a light bulb lit in his mind.

              How could I miss it!

              He’d never thought about it, but now, a lot of it started to make sense.

              Thinking about how Miss Bossy would probably be pleased by the news, he started to become red again, and hyperventilate.

              Calm down amigo, think about your abuela, and her awful tapas,… thaaat’s it. Crème d’anchovies with pickled strawberries… Jellyfish soufflés with poached snail eggs on rocket salad.

              His mind was rapidly quite sober again.

              Taking the pile of notes, he landed it messily on the desk, almost startling Miss Bossy.

              “Sorry for the interruption, M’am, but I may have found something…”
              “Fine, there’s no need for theatrics, spill it!” Miss Bossy was ever the no-nonsense straight-to-business personality. Some would have called her rude, but they were ignorants, and possibly all dead now.

              “There was a clue, hidden in the trail of Hilda’s collection. I’m not sure how we have missed it.”

              “Ricardooo…” Miss Bossy’s voice was showing a soupçon of annoyance.

              “Yes, pardon me, I’m digressing. Look! Right here!”

              “What? How is it possible? Is that who I think it is?”

              “I think so.”

              They turned around to look across the hall at Sweet Sophie blissfully snoring.

              “I think she was one of her first patient-slash-assistant.”

              “How quaint. But, that explains a lot. Wait a minute. I thought none of his patients were ever found… alive?”

              “Maybe she outsmarted him…”

              They both weren’t too convinced about that. But they knew now old Sweet Sophie was probably unwittingly holding the key to the elusive Doctor.

              #4210

              With the return of the City Pasha announced yesterday night, Rukshan Soliman was finding himself in a pickle.
              He had arrived early at the Palace one block left from the City Clock Tower, knowing full well he had some chance to find the Pasha in better mood before he starts to catch up with all the problems from his entourage.

              The meeting wasn’t as unpleasant as he had expected. He had listened patiently to all that he already knew, and went back in silence to the Tower to oversee the last of the repairs.
              The clock was still behind 1 minute and fifty seven seconds, but most of the mannequins were operating as normal.

              The boockoockoo of the enchanted Silver Jute resounded gravely. He was going to be late for his 10:30 New City Mandala project meeting.

              #4122
              TracyTracy
              Participant

                Corrie’s findings from elsewhere:

                “On the empty road, Quentin realized there was something different in the air.
                A crispness, something delicate and elusive, yet clear and precious.
                A tiny dot of red light was peeking through the horizon line.

                It was funny, how he had tried to elude his fate, slip through the night into the oblivion and the limbo of lost characters, trying so hard to not be a character of a new story he barely understood his role in.

                But his efforts had been thwarted, he was already at least a secondary character. So he’d better be aware, pretend owl watching could become dangerously enticing.”

                ~~~

                ““There hath he lain for ages,” Mater read the strip of paper, “And will lie Battening upon huge seaworms in his sleep..” Buggered if I know what that’s supposed to mean, she muttered, continuing to read the daily oracle clue: “Until the latter fire shall heat the deep; Then once by man and angels to be seen, In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die…..”

                Mater had become increasingly irritated as the morning limped on, with no sign of Prune. Nobody had seen her since just before 3:00am when Idle got up for the loo and saw her skulking in the hallway. Didn’t occur to the silly fool to wonder at the time why the girl was fully dressed at that hour though.

                The oracle sounded ominous. Mater wondered if it was anything to do with the limbo of lost characters. She quickly said 22 Hail Saint Floverly prayers, and settled down to wait. If Prune had accidentally wandered into the lost characters limbo, battening upon seaworms would be the least of their problems.”

                ~~~

                “You should have thought about it before sending me for a spying mission, you daft tart” Prune was rehearsing in her head all the banter she would surely shower Aunt Idle with, thinking about how Mater would be railing if she noticed she was gone unattended for so long.
                Mater could get a heart attack, bless her frail condition. Dido would surely get caned for this. Or canned, and pickled, of they could find enough vinegar (and big enough a jar).

                In actuality, she wasn’t mad at Dido. She may even have voluntarily misconstrued her garbled words to use them as an excuse to slip out of the house under false pretense. Likely Dido wouldn’t be able to tell either way.

                Seeing the weird Quentin character mumbling and struggling with his paranoia, she wouldn’t stay with him too long. Plus, he was straying dangerously into the dreamtime limbo, and even at her age, she was knowing full well how unwise it would be to continue with all the pointers urging to turn back or chose any other direction but the one he adamantly insisted to go towards, seeing the growing unease on the young girl’s face.

                “Get lost or cackle all you might, as all lost is hoped.” were her words when she parted ways with the strange man. She would have sworn she was quoting one of Mater’s renown one-liners.

                With some chance, she would be back unnoticed for breakfast.”

                ~~~

                Prune turned to look back at Quentin as she made her way home. He’d have been better off waiting for a new chapter in the refugee story, instead of blundering into that limbo with that daft smile on his face. What a silly monkey, she thought, scratching under her arms and making chimpanzee noises at the retreating figure. Look at him, scampering along gazing up into the treetops, instead of watching his step.

                A deep barking laugh behind her made her freeze, with her arms akimbo like teapot handles. Slowly she turned around, wondering why she hadn’t noticed anyone else on the track a moment before.

                “Who are you?” she asked bluntly. “I’m Prune, and he’s Quentin,” she pointed to the disappearing man, “And he’s on the run. There’s a reward for his capture, but I can’t catch him on my own.” Prune almost cackled and hid the smirk behind her forearm, pretending to wipe her nose on it. She wondered where the lies came from, sometimes. It wasn’t like she planned them ~ well, sometimes she did ~ but often they just came tumbling out. It wasn’t a complete lie, anyway: there was no reward, but he could be detained for deserting his new story, if anyone cared to report it.

                The man previously known as the Baron introduced himself as Mike O’Drooly. “I’m a story refugee,” he admitted.

                “Bloody hell, not another one,” replied Prune. Then she had an idea. “If you help me capture Quentin, you’ll get a much better character in the new story.”

                “I’ve nothing left to lose, child. And no idea what my story will be or what role I will play.” Perhaps it’s already started, he wondered.

                “Come on, then! If we don’t catch him quick we might all end up without a story.”

                #4120
                TracyTracy
                Participant

                  Corrie’s findings from elsewhere:

                  “It was no coincidence that “Elikozoe”, his nom de plume (he was born Albert (Al) Yokoso, from a father of Japanese descent and a mother of Cajun descent) had been sent to the Pickled Pea Inn (formerly known as the Flying Fish Inn).”

                  I thought about leaving that one out, as it seemed so nonsensical, this place has never been called the pickled pea, but I’m leaving it in for now. Might make some kind of sense somewhere down the line.

                  “This morning was quiet, but his mind was not.
                  There were always the nagging thoughts that something ought to be done, the restless fear of forgetting something of importance.
                  But this morning was quiet.
                  A bit too quiet in fact.
                  No raucous cackling to stir the soft velvety dust from the wooden floorboard.

                  Quentin was wondering whether the story makers had lost all interest in moving his story forward. Yet, he was more than willing to move it notwithstanding, his efforts seemed of little consequence however. Some piece was missing, some ever-present grace of illumination shrouded in scripting procrastination.

                  His discussion with Aunt Idle had been brief. She’d told him with great intensity that she had a weird dream. That she looked into a mirror and saw herself. Or something like that,… she was not a very coherent woman, the ging wasn’t helping.

                  Maybe his task was done. Time to leave the Pickled Pea Inn.
                  His friend Eicnarf seemed eager to see him. Or maybe that had been a typo and she really meant to sew him, or saw him,… she could be gory like that…

                  No matter, a trip out of the brine cloud of this sand coated place would do him good.”

                  And good riddance, you cheeky bugger, I can’t help thinking.

                  ““Did anybody see our last guest?” Mater couldn’t help but regularly count her herds (so to speak), and although she wasn’t as authoritative with her guests as she was with her family members, she couldn’t help but notice that her last count was one person short —enough to start worrying her.

                  “Hmm lwwft thws hhmmmng” said Idle, her mouth full with cookies.

                  Mater shrugged. It was still better than when she used to talk with sauerkraut.”

                  I had better ask Clove to remind me how to do italics I suppose. This could get confusing.

                  #4119
                  TracyTracy
                  Participant

                    Corrie’s findings from elsewhere:

                    “After a few days, Quentin had had enough already of the food. Pickles, pickles, and more pickles. Pickled cabbage, green or red, gherkins and all sorts and sizes of pickled cucumbers, pickled onions and eggs… There was only variety in the type of thing that weird hostel family was able to think of pickling. Even his beard started to smell of pickles. It was slowing driving him nuts.

                    That, and the strange random cackling at all hours of day and night, which he’d hoped to leave behind after being a refugee from that dreaded town. It had started again. And it seemed to come from the huge framed pea above the mantelpiece. He smirked at the thought that the only reason that pea was framed was that they didn’t find any fitting jar to pickle it.

                    He was still waiting for an appointment with Aunt Idle, who apparently had forgotten him altogether. That was no small wonder, as he passed in front of her door with the half-unscrewed sign on her door that said “management”, he could smell she was into another kind of pickling altogether. With moonshine rather than with apple cider vinegar.”

                    #3929
                    ÉricÉric
                    Keymaster

                      “You should have thought about it before sending me for a spying mission, you daft tart” Prune was rehearsing in her head all the banter she would surely shower Aunt Idle with, thinking about how Mater would be railing if she noticed she was gone unattended for so long.
                      Mater could get a heart attack, bless her frail condition. Dido would surely get caned for this. Or canned, and pickled, of they could find enough vinegar (and big enough a jar).

                      In actuality, she wasn’t mad at Dido. She may even have voluntarily misconstrued her garbled words to use them as an excuse to slip out of the house under false pretense. Likely Dido wouldn’t be able to tell either way.

                      Seeing the weird Quentin character mumbling and struggling with his paranoia, she wouldn’t stay with him too long. Plus, he was straying dangerously into the dreamtime limbo, and even at her age, she was knowing full well how unwise it would be to continue with all the pointers urging to turn back or chose any other direction but the one he adamantly insisted to go towards, seeing the growing unease on the young girl’s face.

                      “Get lost or cackle all you might, as all lost is hoped.” were her words when she parted ways with the strange man. She would have sworn she was quoting one of Mater’s renown one-liners.

                      With some chance, she would be back unnoticed for breakfast.

                      #3900

                      Coriander was crying in the middle of hearty guffaws.

                      Clove, stop it!”

                      “I told you, nobody would suspect space pickles !”

                      “Look at Dido! The way she starred at that fridge for hours!”

                      “Ahahaha, stop it!”

                      #3898

                      In reply to: Mandala of Ascensions

                      Floverley felt her presence was needed in the Cackling Dimension of lost stories refugees.

                      In truth, she wasn’t so keen on leaving her aura cleaning duties, even less so to get involved with any of Dispersee’s warped assignments, but a call couldn’t be left unanswered (although her subtle help would probably be left unfelt).

                      Anyhow, she braced herself and with some reluctance, followed her emanation of light which was already dispatched, en route to the Pickled Pea Inn.

                      #3888
                      ÉricÉric
                      Keymaster

                        This morning was quiet, but his mind was not.
                        There were always the nagging thoughts that something ought to be done, the restless fear of forgetting something of importance.
                        But this morning was quiet.
                        A bit too quiet in fact.
                        No raucous cackling to stir the soft velvety dust from the wooden floorboard.

                        Quentin was wondering whether the story makers had lost all interest in moving his story forward. Yet, he was more than willing to move it notwithstanding, his efforts seemed of little consequence however. Some piece was missing, some ever-present grace of illumination shrouded in scripting procrastination.

                        His discussion with Aunt Idle had been brief. She’d told him with great intensity that she had a weird dream. That she looked into a mirror and saw herself. Or something like that,… she was not a very coherent woman, the ging wasn’t helping.

                        Maybe his task was done. Time to leave the Pickled Pea Inn.
                        His friend Eicnarf seemed eager to see him. Or maybe that had been a typo and she really meant to sew him, or saw him,… she could be gory like that…

                        No matter, a trip out of the brine cloud of this sand coated place would do him good.

                        #3887
                        TracyTracy
                        Participant

                          It was no coincidence that “Elikozoe”, his nom de plume (he was born Albert (Al) Yokoso, from a father of Japanese descent and a mother of Cajun descent) had been sent to the Pickled Pea Inn (formerly known as the Flying Fish Inn).

                          #3884
                          ÉricÉric
                          Keymaster

                            After a few days, Quentin had had enough already of the food. Pickles, pickles, and more pickles. Pickled cabbage, green or red, gherkins and all sorts and sizes of pickled cucumbers, pickled onions and eggs… There was only variety in the type of thing that weird hostel family was able to think of pickling. Even his beard started to smell of pickles. It was slowing driving him nuts.

                            That, and the strange random cackling at all hours of day and night, which he’d hoped to leave behind after being a refugee from that dreaded town. It had started again. And it seemed to come from the huge framed pea above the mantelpiece. He smirked at the thought that the only reason that pea was framed was that they didn’t find any fitting jar to pickle it.

                            He was still waiting for an appointment with Aunt Idle, who apparently had forgotten him altogether. That was no small wonder, as he passed in front of her door with the half-unscrewed sign on her door that said “management”, he could smell she was into another kind of pickling altogether. With moonshine rather than with apple cider vinegar.

                            #3883

                            Pickle, the miniactor, was riding the larger Story to find Gnarfle, his pea-sized dog.

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