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  • in reply to: The Chronicles of the Flying Fish Inn #4704
    F LoveF Love
    Participant

      Mater:

      The vegetable garden has provided a dismal crop this year. And what the heat hasn’t shrivelled, the insects have put paid to. Most weeks, I’ve had to send Bert to Willamonga to buy us veges from the Saturday markets. Or I will send him in to town to buy some of the bush food the Aboriginals sell from the store. “Yeah, yeah, Mater,” he says. “Don’t worry about food. There’s plenty.”

      Of course I worry about food! We’ve all got to eat, don’t we? And look at my poor excuse of a garden; that won’t be feeding us!

      There’s been some rain, not much, not enough to do more than dampen the surface of the ground. It’s down deep the soil needs water. There are secrets down deep.

      “Bert,” I say. “You remembered there’s folk coming to stay? We’ll need extra food for them. Better go to the market on Saturday, eh?”

      “It’s okay, Mater,” he says. “Don’t you worry about food. Dodo has it under control.”


      “Dodo!” I shake my head. Dodo has it under control! That can’t be right.

      “You make sure there’s enough food for them all, Bert. We’ve not had this many booked for a long while. And Dodo can’t organise herself to get up in the morning, let alone look after others. Is she still drinking?”

      “Don’t fuss, Mater,” he says with a smile. “All under control.” And he speaks so loud, like I’m hard of hearing or something.

      People are always telling me not to worry, nowadays. Telling me to sit down and rest. Do I want a nice cup of tea? they ask. Telling me I’ve earned it. Treating me like I’m halfway in the grave already.

      Except for that Finly. She turned out to be a godsend when I hired her all those years ago. Smart as a tack, that one. Not much she doesn’t see. Makes me laugh with her little sideways remarks. Works like a horse and honest as the day is long.

      And my god, the days feel long.

      Anyway, I won’t be going to the grave any time soon. There’s things need doing first. Wrongs which need putting right. Things the children need to know.

      The grounds so dry. The worms have all gone down deep to find water. Better remember to put out food and water for the birds. And does Bert know to buy food? There are secrets down deep. The earth’s held them close long enough.

      in reply to: Eight Turns of the Wheel #4700

      Sunblock, Albie? asked Arona “You’ve got pale skin like me and the sun will fry you in second. “
      “Thank you so much, Mila … “
      “Just call me Arona.” She smiled kindly at the boy. “Okay are we all set?”

      in reply to: Eight Turns of the Wheel #4694

      But Arona wasn’t quite ready to trek. On a pretense of tying her boot laces, she was trying to conceal laughter.
      “What’s that, Milord?” she snorted, “What is this quest of which you speak?”
      Mandrake’s tail shuddered in annoyance.
      “Do grow up, Arona!” said Mandrake. “We have only a few days and precious little progress has been made.”
      “I thought we had made excellent progress,” said Arona, deflated. “I mean, I found you, didn’t I?”
      “Well, technically it was me who found him,” said Sanso, puffing his chest out proudly. “Oh yes, you didn’t know that, did you! I was exerting my influence on the moon and the stars to guide us in the right direction.”
      “My word,” said Mandrake and Arona grimaced at him. “See what I mean!” she hissed.
      “The quest,” said Sanso, “is quite simple. We have a key and we need to find the door which it opens. And I suggest we make haste to the flying fish Inn where we will find said door.”

      in reply to: Newsreel from the Rim of the Realm #4689

      “So, ‘ow we going to find ‘im then, Glor?” asked Sharon, taking a slurp of thick muddy-looking tea. “Ow! That’s too bloody hot. I’m going to ‘ave another word with the Matron about that Nurse, I am.”

      “You do that, Sha. Nurse Trassie wasn’t it?”

      Sharon nodded and pursed her lips tightly. “Bloody uppity tart. We bloody pay enough to be ‘ere, I reckon. They should get the tea bloody right.” Her eyes narrowed menacingly. “ Anyway, she’ll keep. So,‘ow we going to find ‘im then, Glor?”

      “Whose that then, Shar? Oh, you mean the doctor who does the beauty treatments? I’d forget my bloody ‘ead if it weren’t screwed on, wouldn I!”

      Gloria scratched her head vigorously, perhaps checking it was still there, before taking a moment to examine her fingernails.

      “Wot’d Mavis say then?” she asked at last. “When you did that texting thing to ‘er?”

      “‘Ere let me find my phone and I’ll read it out loud to you. Oh, blimey, ‘ave you seen my glasses, Glor?”

      Gloria’s generous curves wobbled and gyrated as she convulsed into fits of laughter.

      “They’re on yer bloody ‘ead!” she said pointing and gasping for breath. “Oh, I nearly peeed myself, ya blimmen muppet!”

      “Thanks, Glor. Wot I’d do without you, I don’t bloody know. Don’t mean to make you pee yerself though. It’s ‘ard enough getting them nurses to give out them extra thick pantyliners. Blimmin uppity tarts. Expecially that Nurse Trassie. Anyway, she’ll keep.”

      Sharon peered at her phone. “Mavis says: Wot a bloody brainwave! I need a makeover for my new fella!!’ LOL! “ She frowned. “Wot’s that word mean, LOL, Glor?”

      “Oh, it’s text talk. The younguns talk like that now and our Mavis always did like to keep up with trends. Lots of lust it means. That saucy cow!”

      “She always was a saucy one that, Mavis! Look at us stuck in ‘ere and ‘er with a new fella. Lucky sod. Maybe after our beauty treatment, we might get us a new fella too.”

      “I don’t know ‘ow we’re going to track down the Doctor though, Shar. I don’t know ‘ow we’re going to track him down when we’re stuck in this bleedin’ ‘ole.” Gloria shoulders shook and she began to sob loudly.

      “There, there, Glor. Don’t cry,” said Sharon, rubbing her friend’s back. “They’ll put you on more bloody pills if you cry. Oh! I know wot will cheer you up!”

      “Wot’s that then,” asked Gloria, sniffing loudly into her hanky.

      “I’ve ‘ad one of my bloody brainwaves!”

      “I knew you would, Shar! You’ve always ‘ad brains. I’m all agog!”

      “We’ll get Mavis to go to the papers! Put in an advert to find ‘im!”

      “You’re a blimmin genius, you are, Shar!”

      in reply to: Newsreel from the Rim of the Realm #4685
      F LoveF Love
      Participant

        “I used to win prizes you know,” Miss Bossy Pants sighed and rubbed her hand through her hair, leaving it in further disarray.

        “I’m sure you did,” said Ric with a small smile which could have been interpreted as a smirk. Miss Bossy Pants decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.

        “For journalism. One year, I received the top journalism prize for my investigative piece about the sausage industry. Cutting edge they called it. And now,” she frowned and looked out the window. “We must get someone to clean those. And now, I am a mere figurehead.”

        Ric opened his mouth but Miss Bossy Pants held her hand up.

        “A mere figurehead. Mocked and deriled. My staff, who I pay, follow whatever goddam leads they want and pay no attention to my explicit orders. You think I don’t know that?”

        She glared at Ric.

        “Quiet!” she said, slapping her hand on the desk and standing up so violently that her cup of tea trembled and sloshed over the sides. She glowered down at Ric, also trembling.

        “This ends now! Get me everything we have on the Doctor. I want names of victims and any poor sod who is still alive you are going to interview! I am going to crack this goddam doll case wide open. He’s the one who is going to be goddam very very sorry.”

        in reply to: Newsreel from the Rim of the Realm #4673

        “Do you remember when we ‘ad those beauty treatments with that nice doctor, Sha?”

        “Oh, I do, Glor! You looked that drop dead gorgeous! You turned ‘eads.”

        “So did you, Sha! You were a stunner!”

        “Wot was ‘is name again? That doctor?”

        “Mavis will know. Why don’t you send ‘er one of those text thingammybobs everyone does nowadays and find out.”

        “Good idea, Glor! Oh, you know wot!”

        “Wot Sha? Tell me? I’m all agog. ‘Ave you ‘ad one of your bloody brainwaves?”

        “I ‘ave! I’ve ‘ad a bloody brainwave … Let’s go for another beauty treatment with him! A touch up sort of thing!”

        “Oh, Sha. Oh Sha! I’ve been rendered bloody speechless at your engineuity!”

        “Wot was that girl’s name? You know, quite bossy … wot was she called again?”

        “Oh, I know who you mean? bloody bossy tart, wasn’t she. And we tried so ‘ard to help ‘er.”

        “We did. No bloody gratitude. Virginia, was it? Started with a ‘V’ I reckon.”

        “Tip of my tongue, it is. I’m that excited about your bloody idea … I can’t remember my own name, let alone ‘er name!”

        in reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler #4671
        F LoveF Love
        Participant

          “For the love of Flove, will everyone put some clothes on,” muttered Finnley.

          To set a good example, she put on a her best grey overcoat—which only had a few ever-so-small moth holes—and a pair of woolly socks pulled up to her knees.

          “There are far too many naked bodies covered only in towels and togas for comfort in this thread,” she said, shaking vigorously and thinking how pretty the dust looked as it floated around her. “And I for one intend to take a stand.”

          “Indeed!” agreed Godfrey. “it’s a health and safety issue for one thing. I’m concerned Liz might have one of her turns, the amount of time she spends peeping through the curtain at Roberto. She looks quite flushed.”

          in reply to: The Stories So Near #4669
          F LoveF Love
          Participant

            Why does Arona have a key?

            Note: I am keeping this very simple. TRACY DID YOU READ THIS HELPFUL STUFF I DID FOR ERIC?

            Background story to the dolls: already supplied in Maeve’s comment to Lucinda explaining about her Uncle Fergus giving her the instructions to send the keys, via dolls, to certain addresses. Maeve doesn’t know why.

            Lucinda bought a doll from the market. How did it get there we want to know?

            This is how:

            One of the addresses on the list provided by Uncle Fergus was Bert’s address. Bert is mysterious. We don’t know much about him. We do know he refused to remortgage the house and maybe this is why.

            Aunt Idle opened the parcel for Burt out nosiness. She is very nosy. She fell in love with the doll and decided not to mention it to Burt. Even when he said, “I don’t suppose there’s been any mail for me?”

            TSK TSK

            Finly, who is still working there, came along and found the doll and thought it was “awful rubbish and dirty” and put it in the charity pile.

            The doll was purchased by a lady for her daughter. They were tourists in Australia. They took the doll with them to (wherever it is that Lucinda lives. CANADA?). The lady noticed the key at the airport and took it out as she thought it may not get through airport security.The child eventually got tired of the doll and the doll ended up at the market where it was purchased by Lucinda.

            How did Arona get the key?

            The keys have a lot of psychic energy. Arona picks up on psychic energy and zones in on it. She found the key at the airport.

            Any questions?

            in reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler #4660
            F LoveF Love
            Participant

              “Finnley, I owe you a debt of gratitude for assisting me in reaching my quota,” said Liz, humbled by the maid’s kindness.

              “What quota?” asked Godfrey. “And why does Roberto keep trying to throw a sheet over me.”

              “Godfrey, you know how often I have abused and ridiculed dear Finnley.” She carefully wiped a small tear from her eye so as not to smudge her mascara.

              Godfrey nodded.

              “We all have, Liz,” he said. “To my great shame.”

              “Yes, indeed. Well, we need to do better and give her the great admiration and reverance she is due. I have a writer’s meeting this morning, and if it weren’t for Finnley haranguing me, I would not have completed my assignment and I would have been a laughing stock. She saved me, Godfrey.”

              “It was nothing,” said Finnley.

              in reply to: Eight Turns of the Wheel #4659

              Except for Arona.

              Arona rolled her eyes.

              “He’s stalking me,” she hissed to the others. “And going on about having to meet his quota before the meeting. I really think he has lost it this time.”

              in reply to: Eight Turns of the Wheel #4657

              Fortunately, Mandrake had a rope ladder which, with the assistance of a small remote control pigeon, he was able to throw to Arona.

              “Cool pigeon,” said Arona when she was safely onboard and appropriate introductions had been made. “Mr Jiboriums’s Emporium?”

              “Indeed! it really is a wonderful place,” said Mandrake. “Now, stop all that fussing, you will mess up my whiskers.”

              “I can’t help it. I am so pleased to see you, you cuddly old grump,” said Arona, ruffling Mandrakes head again. “Are those grey hairs I see?”

              Mandrake snuffled and slapped her hand away with a paw.

              “Do you care to stop all that nonsense and tell us what you are doing floating around in a hot air balloon?’

              Arona rolled her eyes. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a key.

              “I am looking for the doll which goes with this key,” she said.

              in reply to: Eight Turns of the Wheel #4656

              “What’s that?” shouted Albie, pointing to a small blemish on the clear blue sky. “It’s getting bigger!”

              “Goodness me, I do believe it is a hot air balloon. And it is falling our way. Quickly, Boy, we must make preparations or our inflatable zodiac will be deluged. I bought it from Mr Jiboriums’s emporium, so it isn’t the best quality but it was a very fair price.”

              “Yes! preparations!” said Albie.

              He looked around uncertainly. “What preparations did you have in mind?”

              “At this point in proceedings, I suggest we put on these inflatable life jackets, also a bargain from Mr Jiboriums’s emporium, and prepare to tally ho!”

              “Look, it is slowing down!”

              “Thank the Felines for that! Water is not really my forte,” said Mandrake.

              When the balloon was only meters away, a small person could be seen on board, excitedly waving a tea towel in the air.

              “Do you think they are in trouble?” asked Albie.

              “Mandrake! Mandrake! It’s me!”

              “They know you! How do they know you?”

              “Give me a moment, boy,” said Mandrake, hiding his face behind a paw and making loud sniffing noises. “I just need a moment … “

              “Mandrake, it’s me, Arona!” shouted the person. “But I don’t know how to get out of this thing.”

              in reply to: Newsreel from the Rim of the Realm #4653
              F LoveF Love
              Participant

                “Come on now,” said Ricardo. “Nobody has put anything out there about the dolls. Come and sit down on this nice comfy office chair and tell us what is going on. You will do yourself an injury running in those heels. Lovely shoes of course,” he added quickly.

                Miss Bossy Pants glared at him suspiciously but allowed herself to be coaxed to the nearest office chair while Hilda and Connie raised their eyebrows and Sweet Sophie snorted.

                “That’s right,” he said. “Just let me wipe that chair for you before you sit. Now, you tell us what’s going on while I make the tea. One sugar?”

                Hilda and Connie made gagging noises.

                Slimy creep, hissed Connie.

                “No hurry then,” said Hilda. “We’ve only been waiting half an hour for tea already.”

                Miss Bossy Pants wiped her forehead with a tea towel, too relieved to question what a tea towel was doing on the desk. She pulled her phone out and scrolled through her messages.

                “I received this,” she said. “Read it out will you, Ric. I can’t stand to look at it again.”

                “Put a lid on the doll story or you will be sorry. And I mean very sorry Very very sorry,” read Ric. “Hmmm rather unimaginative as threats go, don’t you think?”

                “Scroll through to the next one.”

                “By the way, it’s the DOCTOR sending this, in case you think for one moment this is an unimaginative idle threat.”

                in reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler #4648
                F LoveF Love
                Participant

                  “Beetroot, you mean?” asked Roberto. “I thought you liked that shade of lippy! “
                  “I am not talking about lunch, you fool! And don’t ever call me a hippy again. It brings back such awful recollections of my fourth husband, Buzz Peaceleaf.”
                  “Rude tart,” said Finnley.
                  What did you say, Finnley?”
                  “I asked if you’d like to take a look at the food cart.” Finnley smile benignly. “Olexa has been hiding it under her kitchen towel.”

                  in reply to: Newsreel from the Rim of the Realm #4647
                  F LoveF Love
                  Participant

                    It wasn’t very often that Miss Bossy Pants ran. Mostly, she just considered it undignified. But other than that, high heels and pencil tight skirts didn’t lend themselves to speed.

                    It makes one looks so desperate!

                    But today she made an exception. By the time she burst into the office, her face was almost the same shade of beetroot as her lipstick.

                    Put a lid on the doll story!” she gasped, clinging to the door frame for support.

                    “Oh dear,” said Ric. “Would you like a nice cup of tea? I’m just making one.”

                    “No time for tea, you fool! Just tell me than none of you incompetent idiots has put anything out there about THE DOLLS!

                    in reply to: Pop﹡in People Tribulations #4646
                    F LoveF Love
                    Participant

                      Hi, I believe you have information about a doll. Look forward to hearing more. Thanks! Ms M.

                      Maeve gave a loud breath out and pushed POST. She had first put a little message on findmydolls on May 22nd. She remembered the date because it was Fabio’s birthday and she’d been celebrating with a glass of wine which made her unaccustomably bold. She hadn’t expected to hear anything, although for a few days she did check the site regularly. And then forgot about it.

                      But what with Lucinda finding one of her dolls at the market and Shawn Paul’s mysterious package … well, she just felt like taking another look.

                      in reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler #4642
                      F LoveF Love
                      Participant

                        “Finnley, how on earth did you manage to insert yourself in the kitchen and do the dishes while I was standing here twittering about doctors and whatnot. And here you are and the dishes are done but when I started my comment, I swear they were still on the bench.”
                        Liz peered at Finnley suspiciously.
                        “Do you have magical properties you aren’t sharing with us?” she asked.

                        in reply to: Pop﹡in People Tribulations #4641
                        F LoveF Love
                        Participant

                          “Cute pyjamas”, said Maeve helping herself to butter from the refrigerator.

                          Maeve didn’t need the butter any longer as she had discovered she could successfully substitute olive oil and the muffins were still deliciously fluffy. However she did need an excuse to enter Shawn Paul’s apartment. Emboldened by recent events, she was privately rather pleased with her recent brazen persona. The Maeve of a week ago would never have barged into anyone’s apartment without an invitation.

                          Not finding anything suspect in the refrigerator, except maybe some oranges which looked past their use by date, she scanned the rest of Shawn Paul’s apartment. It was then she spied the package, mostly obscured by old notebooks and granola cookie boxes.

                          “Find what you were looking for?” asked Shawn Paul. He had found his dressing gown under a pile of clothing on the floor.

                          “Yes, thanks,” said Maeve, brandishing the butter at him and wondering how she could get hold of the package without Shawn Paul noticing. “So, how long have you been a writer? Have you had anything published?”

                          A quick google search had not uncovered anything, but perhaps he wrote under a pseudonym. Best to give him the benefit of the doubt.

                          Shawn Paul looked awkward.

                          Or was it guilty? Maeve wondered. While she was pondering this, she had her brainwave. Some would say it wasn’t much of a brainwave really, or indeed, a brainwave at all. But it was the best she could do under the circumstances. And after all, she was now an intrepid investigator.

                          “Look over there!” she shouted pointing at the window and at the same time making a lunge for the dining table.

                          “What are you doing?” asked Shawn Paul. There was nothing at the window and now Maeve was taking his package.

                          “Um, I just adore granola cookies,” said Maeve.

                          in reply to: Pop﹡in People Tribulations #4638
                          F LoveF Love
                          Participant

                            Shawn Paul certainly seems like a nice enough person, thought Maeve.

                            But had he been evesdropping on her conversation with Lucinda? He seemed so on edge, clutching the packet in sweaty hands, stuttering over the few words he spoke. Not that Maeve considered herself socially adept, not by any means! But, after the talk with Lucinda, her senses were on high alert.

                            And the newspaper cutting … surely that couldn’t be coincidence?

                            Lucinda said Shawn Paul was a writer. Or was that just a clever cover?

                            Oh my gosh, this is making me paranoid!

                            Maeve decided to do a bit more research on this Shawn Paul fellow. See if he is really who he says he is.

                            It was only then she realised she had forgotten her butter.

                            in reply to: Pop﹡in People Tribulations #4634

                            Before she left, thankful to get back to her own pristine apartment, Maeve told Lucinda the story of the dolls.

                            “It’s a long story,” she warned and Lucinda smiled encouragingly.

                            “My father’s brother, Uncle Fergus, fell out with my father many years ago. I don’t know what it was about.”

                            Maeve took a sip of her licorice and peppermint tea.

                            “I just know that one day, Uncle Fergus turned up on his Harley Davidson and there was a huge fight. Father was shouting and Mother was crying. And Father shouted ‘Don’t ever darken our doors again!’

                            She shuddered. “It was awful.”

                            “I am all ears,” said Lucinda.

                            “They aren’t that bad,” said Maeve looking at her thoughtfully. “And your hair covers them nicely.”

                            Her hand flew to her mouth as she realised what Lucinda meant.

                            “Oh gosh, I am sorry, I see what you mean … Well anyway, I didn’t see Uncle Fergus for many years and I was sorry about that because he would always bring me a gift from his overseas travels — he went to the most exotic places — and then one day he turned up at my apartment out of the blue. He was most peculiar, looking over his shoulder the whole time and he even made me come out on the street to talk ‘in case there were bugs’.”

                            “Bugs? Oh, like the things spies use. Wow,” said Lucinda. “Did he have mental health problems or something?”

                            “I wondered that at the time. I mean Uncle Fergus was always endearingly loony. But this time he was just … just scared. And there WAS someone following him. I saw her. And she was clearly a spy. She was wearing a black wig and and fishnet tights and thought we couldn’t see her hiding behind a lamp post.”

                            Maeve rolled her eyes.

                            “I mean, how cliche can you get. Anyway, Uncle Fergus gave me a big hug, like an Uncle would, and whispered an address in my ear where I would find a satchel and he said that inside I would find 12 keys and 12 addresses. He knew I made dolls and he said it would be a perfect way to send the keys to the addresses, inside a doll. ‘Important people are depending on you’ he said.”

                            Maeve shrugged.

                            “So I did it. I sent the last one a month ago to an address in Australia. An Inn somewhere in the wops.”

                          Viewing 20 replies - 161 through 180 (of 906 total)