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  • Oörlaith heard the sound of a barking dog not far from her rookery. They were back with his master, and she knew at once their mission was complete. A few months ago she had met a strange man, he told her he was called Leonard, and the funny black dog that was following him everywhere was called ... · ID #270 (continued)
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  • #2317

    “Walter, I am so releived to see that you’ve finally seen how flimsy continuity really is,” Ann said, and flung her arms around him.

    “Steady on!” he gasped, trying to extricate himself from her clutches.

    #2316

    Obviously, when Ann had taken those Wows of Continuity within the hoity-toity (so said the writer) Sisterhood of Continuous Universal Meditation, it had been one of those flimsy whims which were probably only a clever (so she thought) way of putting her friend’s continual fretting at ease.

    But more secretely, she’d joined the Sisterhood as a way to be closer to the closeted founder… Walter Crumble.

    #2315

    The writer wanted to write, full stop. The problem was that the writer’s desire to write was continually interrupted with things in brackets assuming monstrous and all comsuming proportions. Endless chains of things in brackets that always seemed to have priority.

    “You could always write about the things in brackets, Ann,” remarked her new friend Lavender. “Might be fun. A thrilling blast, even.”

    #2314

    Privately, Lavender was thrilled to find she knew Ann! She couldn’t remember when she had met her of course, however that was nothing unusual these days. Everybody seemed to know each other! It was really quite a thrill. Maybe she would go and have coffee with her new friends Becky and Tina, after she had been to the hairdressers of course.

    hmmm, it can’t be a thrill, thought Lavender, The “writer” has already used “thrilled”.

    The writer wondered, huffily, how to strike out text. The writer wanted to write “It was really quite a blast”

    #2311

    “I didn’t know you couldn’t swim, Lavender. Oh!” Ann exclaimed. “Lavender sync! I left one of mothers Yardley English Lavender soaps in the car, and it’s great for covering up the smell of smoke.”

    Lavender rolled her eyes.

    #2305

    Ann sighed. She suddenly realized that she’d spent the summer time travelling, back to the Summer Before the Great Shift Trauma. She’d completely forgotten that the Worserversity was Post Shift. Oh well, she would write a historical account of The Times Before The Great Trauma Started.

    “What Great Trauma?” asked Monica, who had been reading her mind again. “There was no Great trauma in MY shift experience.”

    “Really?” Ann was momentarily puzzled. “There wasn’t in mine either.”

    “If you’re going to write about trauma, you’ll have to make it all up.” Monica replied.

    “Why would I want to do that?” Ann was still puzzled.

    “For the fun of it?” Monica suggested.

    “Oh yes, of course…for the fun of it…”

    Ann was still puzzled.

    #2304

    The summer Holidays were nearly over, or the Hollow Days, as they were known to some. The last days of summer had been a bit hollow for Ann at any rate, rattling around inside her own head, not really knowing whether it was full or empty. Ann had spent most of the summer sleeping, and with virtually no dream recall, it seemed as if half of the summer was missing. Probably just as well, what with it being such an odd summer. She wondered if she would simply sleep through the shift, like Ned Young slept through the mutiny. Didn’t seem like such a bad idea.

    “Normally” the Worserversity students started rolling back towards Poubelleville round about now, but the word “normally” was becoming obsolete. What was normal, what could be expected? Ann didn’t know. She packed her coloured pencils, her detachable hand and her wooden men, and fished out her homework assigments for the holidays that she had only just remembered.

    Alliteration. Bugger bollocks and blast, blimey but what a bother, too bloody hot and bored.

    That’s a bit bloody depressing, she muttered to herself, try another letter.

    Sweltering summer of sweat and sand, sleeping and sleeping, sublime surruptitious snooze, sail away in the sunset swell, sunrise surrender, ships ahoy!

    Fan the flames, far sighted fellows! There’s a flash in the funnel for fast falling fishermen. Far flung, fun fueled, oh fast fleeting fantasies, follow the folks with the flags! Flounder not, fresh fishies, for fun feels fantastic!

    Ah, wallow in wisps of wordless wonderings, weather the winds of wandering whispers, while weighty wells of wishes work winsome wonders, woven with worn wool and worrisome white weathered windows. Whether we will, whether we won’t, who will win, what will work, will we watch it water the weeds….

    #2303

    For her new course, Pr. Moose was a dolphin.
    It was a fancy-dress course entitled: ‘Act out your characters’.

    Pedro was naked, and when she asked him in what kind of disguise that could be, he told her “I’m the Universe”. She was, a moment, hypnotized by his so blue eyes that she’d forgotten her question. She gulped, speechless and looked at him more closely, appreciating the physique of his body…

    — Is it real? she asked.
    — It’s the Universe.
    — Well, ok then, go get a seat and let’s begin our course.

    Following him with her eyes, or more precisely following his butt with her eyes, she also noticed a few other students. Ann was wearing a nine-titsed alien costume and there were two glowing ladies with fishes stuck to their ghostly bodies…

    This butt, she thought again, her attention distracted from the other students.

    #2302
    Jib
    Participant

      Yann had been working on a transcription all the afternoon, only accompanied by some mysterious musicians using pneumatic drills not so far outside.

      Though he had managed to make it flow quite easily most of the time, the attention and the tension required to make it possible were now getting on his nerves… he had one more pass through the audio to do. He was wanting to do it now in order to get it over, but he realized he was pushing his energy…

      A weird thought… he would enjoy diving into a pond full of little fishes that would massage his skin.

      ;)) he chuckled thinking of that, imagining that the fishes were some kind of imagery of his energy field.

      #2299

      “I wonder how high
      Is an ostriches eye…”

      “Yes” replied Flipswitch, somewhat obscurely.

      Ann was encouraged to continue, notwithstanding the enigmatic response from the professor.

      “Ellen Melon went to town
      To shop her felon hubby…”

      “And he said, Lovely Jubbly!
      I have no time
      to make this rhyme,
      I’m fishing with a zebra.”

      :buffoon:

      #2298

      Home made LSD was a bit tricky. Amaury Flipswitch had tested some in his last potion and now he was having difficulties focusing.
      Speaking with Ann, he was seeing her blinking in and out with all the discrepancies in the communications that it could generate.

      He didn’t know if she had heard his last answers to her questions… but whatever… he couldn’t hear her last question either.
      ‘Yes’ he answered.

      #2297

      Gremwick was glad the Fisherman had come to repair the Cloud Fishes of the Inner Aerial Pool of the Worseversity.

      It’s been a few days that he’d noticed an unusual lack of randomness in the swimming patterns of the little Cloud Fishes.
      As they were usually used for the divination courses, no sooner was the issue identified than the students had to temporarily recourse to the use of pigeons for their assignments —which sadly left a stinking trail of devastation on the usually pristine marble floors that greatly infuriated Charity, the cleaning lady, otherwise known for her great patience and candor, who’d kept cursing like a sailor against the winged demonic creatures the last past weeks.

      The incident in itself was not of immense consequence in the grand scheme of things, but it felt worrisome for the Dean that these swimming creatures known for their quite reliable and, yes, totally unfloundering randomness had suddenly decided to adopt a monotonous pattern.
      In that disposition, they were merely echoing the requester’s requests in a manner of a mirror instead of evoking strange and obscure meanings from the depths of the universe.

      It had amused the students very much, as it was making their assignments apparently far easier —there was no thing left in need of deciphering, unless the students’ requests were themselves incoherent, which could on occasion happen especially after the Special Crop Circle Lessons. As no incident was without meaning, the Dean had pondered this one, but without any satisfactory answer as of yet.

      At least, it had been the occasion to meet the Fisherman, and to ponder on the plainness of a world without unpredictability.

      #2296

      Monica was asking Pedro about Pr. Moss last assignment. Everybody had been very impressed by his story teller talent and she wanted to know more about it. He was quite secretive though, and maybe it was because he was not a native English speaker, but nonetheless she wanted to know about some details.

      Before he could say anything, she felt an excruciating pain in her belly and the announcing signs of intestine problems…

      — Are you ok, asked Pedro? What was that strange noise?
      — Nothing! she eluded quickly. I need to go to the bathroom, excuse me.

      Another spasm almost made her fall on the ground.

      Damn Pr. Flipswitch! she thought, I shouldn’t have accepted to try the herbs he gave me after his herbal course.

      #2295

      “To be perfectly honest dear, I wouldn’t be very outwardly lovely if I were to be honest.”
      “Another of your convoluted ways to say it’s rubbish” Lavender said with a smile “But that’s fine, you know. It’s also meant as a test of honesty… And as I’m not sure you heard it properly anyway, a little honesty wouldn’t have hurt you know.”

      But it seemed Harvey’s attention had already gone somewhere else. “Are you even listening to me?” Lavender said with a lovely voice practicing the delicate guttural accents of Sloopernoff, snapping back Harvey’s attention to the conversation.
      “Oh, you were speaking… I’m sorry, I’m starting to worry that Ann’s narcolepsy is contagious.”
      “Always the worrywort…”

      As they were talking surrounded by the soft dusty specks of the library (which every time annoyed Lavender quite extensively, as she wasn’t so fond of the taste of dust bunnies and didn’t see with the same eye as Ann the archaeological value of burying useful things in dust), Gremwick the mad Dean of the Worseversity passed by with a yellow sticker stuck to the back of his trench coat.

      “Looks like mad old Gremwick isn’t doing so good recently hey… Seems like he was droning about taking the students’ courses to check on their quality last time we heard of him…” Lavender looked empathetic.
      Harvey was smiling “If you ask me, he might just be wanting to know if the rumor of Prof Gubby’s nine nipples were true or only sheer fantasy”
      “I wonder which perverted mind’s fantasy it could be” sighed Lavender unimpressed.

      #2292

      BLING!”

      Yurick and Yann jolted up from the couch at the sound of the crashing pot.

      “What on Earth are they on about… again!”

      Their two new cats Eeckup and Eelas were practising their new hops and jumps, reaching for the topmost shelf of the cupboard, where the pot full of earth, and topped with the remains of a dying dry plant was put —they’d thought, out of reach of the little beasts. :cat_confused: :cat_happy:

      “You know what?” Yurick said after having vacuumed the remains of dirt on the carpet “it may sound a bit strange (perhaps completely nuts even), but I had the impression Eeckup was making something with the plants just before I surprised it…” :cat_happy:

      #2286

      Ann had unexpectedly found herself in the hot seat, so to speak, after using the bidet immediately after chopping up chillis in the kitchen. Pondered the symbology of the mishap, she couldn’t help but think of the word ‘rekindling’ and wondered if this might be of some use for Prof Moose’s assigment. Clearly, had she used a little more dish washing detergent on her long slender fingers, she wouldn’t have experienced the ‘rekindling’ at all.

      #2285

      But Ann had already briefly fallen asleep in one of her bouts of narcolepsy she was well-known for.

      #2283

      Chubby fingers? Ann examined her long artistic slender fingers for the umpteenth time. What on earth was Gremwick on about?

      OH! Suddenly it hit her. He was writing about that probable Ann that branched off years ago, that bloated old alcoholic Ann. But she was still in the dark about that reference to detergent.

      #2282

      Ann knew what Monica was really thinking. Monica was thinking she had chubby fingers. Ann hated that.

      “Uppity Tart’” she whispered spitefully under her breath. Then, feeling a tad guilty at her uncharitableness, and wishing she could be as inwardly lovely as old .. what’s her name, she quickly changed the subject.

      “Apparently I am a challenge in the Continuity Class!”

      #2281

      G3 (short for GGG, which was shorter for Good God Gordy) asked as if to himself “Anyone met the Fisherman yet?”

      :fleuron:

      Gremwick put down the Psychic Politics book he’d taken for his assignment, his five words written on a lemon coloured sticker:

      Oof… here we go, “state — briefly — fisherman — library — pigeons”… There’s a bit of challenge here. he sighed, mostly uninspired.
      “Perhaps I should have stayed with the easy words like ‘more, is, less, think, true’”.

      :fleuron:

      “Do you mean the Fisherman’s coming? How long has it been already?” Ann started to count briefly on her chubby fingers.
      “Well, I guess if you’d be more assiduous in Pr. Rose’s class in bird divination, you’d found out that the pigeons’ flight was unmistakably precise on that matter.”
      “I tried, believe me, I tried to pay more attention,…” Ann said, “but frankly, I prefer direct experience of the broom cupboard to the draughty corridors of the library…”
      “Oh, I should say I’m a bit disappointed at you; I’ve always believed the state of dustiness would have been an incentive to you rather than a deterrent.”

      “Don’t underestimate the incentive of detergent” Monica said almost mischievously under her breath.

    Viewing 20 results - 681 through 700 (of 1,045 total)

    Daily Random Quote

    • Oörlaith heard the sound of a barking dog not far from her rookery. They were back with his master, and she knew at once their mission was complete. A few months ago she had met a strange man, he told her he was called Leonard, and the funny black dog that was following him everywhere was called ... · ID #270 (continued)
      (next in 11h 37min…)

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