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  • #2996
    ÉricÉric
    Keymaster

      “Blimey! The Pope, eh? Are you teasing me again?”
      Vera didn’t answer.
      “Oh come on! Don’t give me that need-to-know-basis treatment, as much as I love a good riddle, I hate secrets! Are we going to look for the reincarnation of a famous Pope à la Little Buddha? Tell me, tell me!” Bouncing with excitement on the rolling Eggsway made her almost fall head over wheels into a flangeway carved into the muddy track that went deeper into the forest.

      Regaining her balance, she looked ahead to see Vera was already a few meters ahead — and navigating the Eggsway was becoming difficult. She knew she should have opted for the 4×4 model…
      So… Vera wasn’t really paying attention, she would have to try another approach to worm answers out of her. What was so special about this place anyway? Lost continent of Mu, ancient architecture, maybe underwater tunnels… Nothing that would lead directly to the Vatican she surmised… Unless…

      They arrived at a clearing in the forest, where blue glow sticks had been placed in a round pattern. Vera was standing there, after having carefully placed a glowing green rote at the center, staring at the middle of the light circle, and without turning her head to look at her, told Lulla “Here’s your answer coming.”

      A huge buzzing throb started to fill the air, sounding to concentrate at a focal point not higher than 10 inches above the ground, at the exact center of the blue circle. It begun sparkling and * BooM *, in all its slimy tentaculeous glory, a spaceship was there.

      “Special delivery from our alien friends” Vera said, finally deigning to look at Lulla.

      The rather small spaceship started to slowly expand, becoming larger, until an opening appeared, letting a form emerge from the membranous appearance of the hull. The form which looked like some person was suddenly dropped unceremoniously with a * Plop! * while the spacecraft elastically recovered its initial shape.
      Moments later, it was gone, and with it the buzzing sound.
      The green rote payment was gone too. Greedy aliens.

      “Come on, let’s bag this guy and bring him home for phase 2. A red convertible SUV is waiting for us at the portal’s entrance.”
      So, that’s where I come in… Lulla was starting to wonder what was the use of her being here, since Vera was so bossy and secretive. But now,… Of course she was better at hatting, but she could call herself without bragging a real bagging specialist.

      #2993
      ÉricÉric
      Keymaster

        Liverworts had done wonder at the Vatican, actually.
        That, and maybe the out-of-the-body sit-ins of the Occupy The Vatican Library Out of Body team too. So much so that the old cranky current tenant decided to leave his chasuble and tiara and go for more exciting adventures such as sky-diving and bungee jumping.

        The Surge Team’s game was about to change to a whole new level they soon started to discover when their screens started to light up at the same moment the first news report came out with the scoop. Well, the second one actually, because the first reporter spoke only in Latin.

        “So much red can only mean one thing,” a dejected Pearl mused out aloud at her screen.
        “Chinese Bloody New Year?” a distracted Skye answered tentatively.
        “Yes… but no, I mean, it’s not surges any longer… another Wave is on the making… And I fear they’ll overdo the religious stuff with that one.” she added gloomily.

        “Oh, and by the way, anyone seen Aqua Luna recently? I’ve never seen my keyboard so bloody dusty in ages!”

        #2985
        Jib
        Participant

          The fresh breeze on her face awoke Aqua Luna. She struggled a moment to open her eyes, and realized that it was completely dark around her. The floor she was lying on was soft and spongy, and when she moved to sit the soil emitted a weak suction noise as if full of water. But it was dry, that she could tell after so many years of cleaning. And the smell on her finger was merely that of her familiar detergents.
          She was feeling a bit numb and in a neutral mood. She couldn’t remember how she arrived here. She hesitated a moment and asked “Where am I ?” Her voice sounded muffled and distant to her.
          “You’re on my ship,” an unknown male voice answered after a few seconds.
          “Why is it so dark?”
          “I didn’t want to frighten you.”
          “Am I a prisoner ?” she asked, checking if she could feel something else past the numbness. “Are you going to torture me ?” she probed with no more success with her feelings.
          “To the contrary, earthling, you are a very valuable person to us.”
          She thought about her work. Maybe the Long Poonese mafia abducted her to extract some information.
          It was so dark that colors and shapes were beginning to appear before her eyes.
          “Did you drug me ?”
          “It was a necessary precautionary measure for your own good. “

          #2969

          Evangeline Spiggot put the phone down, and turned to old Flanigan, the cleaning man. “Another request to investigate the death of Ed Steam! Three already, and it’s not even lunch time. I think this is a case for Blithe Gambol.”

          “Lift your feet up, will you, I’m trying to make a clean sweep here” Flannely replied.

          Evangeline obliged and put her feet up on her desk, and put through a call to Blithe. After a few pleasantries, Evangeline explained the case. “So the question is, is Ed Steam really dead, or not?”

          “I can tell you the answer to that right away,” replied Blithe. “Yes, and no.”

          “Er….thanks, I think…”

          “You see, the difficulty with facts these days is that none are true, and all are real ~ well I know you know that dear, but it becomes something of a problem when clients want to know the Truth. Probable realities are pretty loosely woven these days; now, I can stitch together the case, and give you a more definitive answer. Or I can stitch together the case differently, and give you a different answer. The question is, really, what is the answer you want to hear?”

          “I’ll confer with the clients and call you back.”

          #2960
          TracyTracy
          Participant

            “Moscow?” asked Mari Fe, “Moscow? In the middle of winter? Do we have to, Pearl, I always end up in Russia in the winter, you know how I feel the cold. There must be another way!”

            Pearl was poring over a map of Moscow, in Russian, and didn’t answer.

            #2907

            Yann was proud of himself, he had answered his first phone call in Chinese.

            When they first arrived at the hotel, it was a wonderful and colorful place, all those reds and warm yellows, with well chosen touches of blue and green. The morning light was illuminating the lobby in a soothing way, it seemed as if it was gently brushing the leather of the armchairs and sofas. He noticed an old cleaning lady carefully sweeping the tiles of the floor one by one.

            “I love this place”, he had told Yurick. “It’s so peaceful, I feel energized.”

            The big smile on his face stayed there even when he first realized noone in the hotel could speak English or French, or even Javanese. Yurick was speaking Chinese after all.
            But Yurick was not always here. He had to go out for a meeting with a certain Lulla for work. And Yann desperately needed to call a taxi. So he plucked up courage and called the hotel management.

            “Ni hao [incomprensible Chinese words] ?”
            Did it really ended with a question mark ? Yann was not sure. “Ni hao”, he said. He was so concerned by the thought of his awful pronunciation that he missed what the person answered.
            “I number 447 (translated from Chinese). I wanting taxi.”
            “[incomprehensible] 47 ?”
            “No. 400, 40, 7.”
            “Ah! 447. You are the French guy. (translated from Chinese)”
            “Yes, French guy. I wanting taxi.”
            “Ok, [incomprehensible]. Ok ?”
            “Ok. Thank you.”

            He hanged up the phone with an artificial sense of trust. That, he had learnt in that country was primordial. You launched your rocket of desire to the universe and trust that it would all end up as you desired. With that philosophy you better be clear with what you wanted.

            #2886
            ÉricÉric
            Keymaster

              If there was one thing he’d never liked about the Surge Team, Goat was reminded as soon as he crossed the threshold, that had to be the Management.
              Actually, the Management after years of past grandeur had been heftily trimmed down to just one person, an ageless expressionless Sinese-Bulgarian lady with a hairstyle as plain and ubiquitous as a bowl of steamed rice, the epitome of the chtonian tutelary deity, eternal Guardian of all thresholds.
              “Good day Antonia.” Goat greeted her, faking the slightest bit of enthusiasm needed to sound polite. Of course, she didn’t answer. Like the Universe, looming and all powerful, all she needed was a request, or better, a long string of numbers from an obscure postal or bookshelf reference.
              Chopping official documents, the lonely sound of a stamp etching the worn-out surface of her desk was all that troubled the dusty office reeking of onion.
              “There’s been a delivery for me…” He waited patiently, savouring torturing her with his half-finished sentence. He didn’t have to wait for long though. Maybe she was in a good mood.
              “Tracking number?” she grumbled without looking at him, fumbling into old logs and piles of carton boxes that may have been there, unclaimed since the time of Baltazar the Great.
              “There” he handed her a torn yellow stained bit of paper where the numbers were written down in a ornate penmanship. The Management was a place of few words… and even fewer actions he bitterly thought.
              Working her magic, she handed him the package, wrapped in old Sinese papers that smelt of decaying fish. He barely thanked her, without looking into her eyes, for he knew what was there to be read certainly had no lack of unpleasantness for him.

              #2863

              In reply to: Tales of Tw’Elves

              ÉricÉric
              Keymaster

                She was right. Maybe he needed a job as a janitor instead, and draw on walls, or write some sotteries pardon my Medieval French.
                “I’m leaning towards valuing the imagination parts of me.” he’d answered, not quite convinced, as though it were told by someone else, or something he’d read earlier somewhere, on a wall probably.
                The vole was still there when she’d left. She’d kept moving back to give it space to run off up the dry road, but no, the little thing even held its hand up when she tried to pick it up as if to say NO! thank you I’m fine.
                He too was fine, surrounded by converging ripples of emotions, but oddly calm.
                “Too neatly organized stuff gets dusty and boring” he’d said to her.
                “I know,” she’d answered, ending their brief encounter with a limerick

                The housekeeping lady of China,
                Said she’d never seen anything finer,
                than a wacom of dust,
                that she sponged and brushed,
                that housekeeping lady of China…

                #1295

                In reply to: Tales of Tw’Elves

                ÉricÉric
                Keymaster

                  “Guess it was about bloody time I got back here” Franlise said, her feather duster firmly clutched in her left hand.
                  The matronly black woman started dusting vigourously, sending myriads of half-written papers flying in the air.
                  “My draaafts!” Elizabeth shriek was lost in the gusts of winds.

                  “Bugger, bugger, bugger” the impromptu cleaning lady started to enunciate in a most perfect Queen’s English. “Nothing like some good buggery bugger to start the day and clear the lungs. And many a little makes a damn buggery mickle, isn’t that right darling?”. She said, striking a pilates pose in between the cleaning.

                  Elizabeth stood aghast, not knowing what to say but a meek “Didn’t I fire you?” to which Franlise knew better than to answer with nought but a smile.
                  Drawing a sharp letter opener from behind her back, she nimbly leaned toward Elizabeth, with all her white teeth glowing in the dark apartment where even the aspidistras had long gone dried up and wrinkled, their pots now no more than mere ashtrays.

                  “Well, now, what shall we do about all that spider cobwebs you’ve got yourself wrapped in…”

                  #2831

                  In reply to: Tales of Tw’Elves

                  TracyTracy
                  Participant

                    Kerry sent a link to a remote view practice website as well, and just as Petronella was clicking on the link a image popped into her head of a bright yellow green snake.
                    Further down the page she noted: “4) Magic. Your answer contains keywords that indicate that you obtained very specific knowledge about the target.” Very specific knowledge? Aha, Petronella thought, This has potential!

                    #2827

                    In reply to: Snowflakes of Tens

                    benjaminbenjamin
                    Participant

                      Young Neb entered the vast openness that is, with a faint whooshing sound.

                      whoooooooosh

                      “Hello?” squeaked Neb in a curious fashion. Neb, wearing a curious face, drowns in the quiet of his own presence.

                      “Is there anybosy out there?” asked Neb in a slightly less squeaky tone than his last vocal utterance.

                      Neb ponders his latest mote, and questions its validity.

                      “Well, I am just as curious as you are, and I am not entirely sure of this reality… if you are interested in interacting with me, and perhaps answering some of my questions, we may create a fantasy worth.. well it is what it is, isn’t it?” resounded Neb with a faint puff of cigar smoke trailing up and out of his mouth.

                      Neb ponders, and then begins to sleep.

                      [link: squeaky]

                      #2081

                      In reply to: Scrying the Word Cloud

                      ÉricÉric
                      Keymaster

                        continuity dimension met answer
                        lavender yikesy clear meant
                        far strange light help speak magic
                        notwithstanding suddenly less
                        under eight full cave

                        #2674

                        In reply to: Strings of Nines

                        As if they had conspired to make it funnier, Yurick found on his answering machine twice the same question later in the day: “Are you still there?” had asked both Malika and Dory.

                        That was without counting Finn’s “when you’re back, welcome back.”

                        Maybe he was just blinking without noticing it.

                        #2434

                        “These old ezines and blogs are fascinating” remarked Periwinkle, passing the one she had just been reading to Daffodil. “Thank goodness some folks had the foresight to print some of them!” :news:

                        “I know, imagine if they hadn’t. We’d have no artefacts for the collection. Well, we have all those flat discs, but no way to decipher them. Oh, did I tell you? Bignonia found something even older than the discs!” :search:

                        “NO!” exclaimed Periwinkle “Do tell!” :yahoo_surprise:

                        “Yes, even older! Funny looking contraption, with two reels and a ribbon. An information storage device, so they say, although they haven’t discovered how to decipher it.” :yahoo_nerd:

                        “I wonder why we’re still not simply accessing that information without, well, without messing around with the physical contraption, you know?” :yahoo_idk:

                        “Wouldn’t be any point in being here in the first place, if we weren’t going to mess around with physical things, silly” replied Daffodil. :yahoo_doh:

                        There was no answer to that, so Periwikle didn’t answer. She continued to thumb through the printed pages. :news:

                        Periwinkle and Daffodil sat together on the patio in the warm spring sunshine, sipping lemonade :fruit_lemon:
                        and leafing through the papers. Bright white clouds in cartoon shapes romped across the blue sky, :weather-few-clouds:
                        and the birds chattered in the trees, :magpie: :magpie:
                        occasionally landing on the printed pages and cocking their heads sideways to read for a moment, before flying off to tell their friends, which was usually followed by a raucous group cackling. :yahoo_heehee: :yahoo_heehee: :yahoo_heehee:

                        “Dear Goofenoff” read Daffodil, “This one looks interesting Peri, someone here is asking for advice on a problem.” :help:

                        “What’s a “problem”, Daffy?” asked Periwinkle. “For that matter, what does the word “advice” mean? Oh, never mind” she said as she noticed Daffodil rolling her eyes, “I’ll look it up in my pre shift dictionary of defunct words.” :notepad:

                        “She’s asking the Snoot too, about the same problem. Oh, I think I’ve heard of them! It’s coming back to me, the old Snoot’n‘Goof team, they were quite famous in the beginning of the century, I remember hearing about them before in a Shift History discussion.” :cluebox:

                        “Well, I can’t say I’ve ever heard of them, but then, I’ve never been into history like you, dear. So what is this “problem” all about, then?” :yahoo_daydreaming:

                        “I’ll read it out to you, it’s way too convoluted to put in a nutshell. Lordy, they sure did complicate matters back then, it’s almost unbeleivable, really, but anyway, here goes:

                        Dear Goofenoff,

                        I don’t know what to do! I am confused about which probable version of a blog freind, let’s call him MrZ, I have chosen to align with. The first probable version was ok, nothing to worry about, and then I drew into my awareness the probable versions of MrZ that some of my freinds had chosen to align with….”

                        “Blimey”, interrupted Periwinkle, who was starting to fidget. “Is it much longer?” :yahoo_not_listening:

                        “It’s alot longer, so be patient. Where was I? Oh yes: :yahoo_nerd:

                        “….and while that was very interesting indeed, and led to lots of usefully emotionally heated discussions, I started to align with their probable version, at times, although not consistently, which led to some confusion. So then I had a chat with someone who was more in alignment with my original probable version, although there were aspects of that probable version that were a little in alignment with the other folks probable version, notwithstanding. I suppose I was still in alignment with the other folks probable version when it came to my attention that there was another individual that might be aligning with a probable version, and my question is, in a nutshell, is it any of my business which probable version the new individual on the scene is aligning with?” :yahoo_thinking:

                        “Well, I can tell you the answer to that!” exclaimed Periwinkle. :yahoo_smug:

                        Daffodil rolled her eyes. “Yes, dear, WE know the answer, but the point is, SHE didn’t know the answer at the time, which is why she asked Goofenoff.” :yahoo_straight_face:

                        “If you ask me, she knew the answer all along” Periwinkle intuited. “What did Goofenoff say anyway?” :yahoo_eyelashes:

                        “He said:

                        Are you requiring a short or a long answer?” :yahoo_raised_eyebrow:

                        Daffodil turned the page to continue reading. She frowned, and flicked through a few pages.

                        “What a shame, some of these pages appear to be missing! Now we’ll never know what Goofenoff said.” :yahoo_skull:

                        Periwinkle laughed. “Well, never mind that anyway, have you seen the random story quote today? Rather synchronistic I’d say, listen to this bit: :paperclip:

                        Illi felt much better, and was sitting at the breakfast table, basking in the warm shafts of sunlight filtering in through the window, and listening to the birds singing in the lemon tree outside.”
                        :weather-clear: :magpie: :fruit_lemon: :weather-few-clouds:

                        #2426

                        “Finally the answer we need! Let’s release the damn bird and get back home now! Besides its cage needs cleaning and it’s starting to smell, and I can’t stand this place any longer…” Doily couldn’t be stopped.

                        Foolishly getting by that that Doily had understood most and perhaps all of the Cloud’s mysterious riddle, and that she even had managed to remember it, by a chance even slimmer than that of crossing the Eight’s Portal alive, Pee agreed with a nod of his neck.

                        Once the birds’ released (with a good manly slapping as the feathery creature was a bit reluctant and groggy from being rocked in its cage), they were instantaneously and quite unsurprisingly back again near the Saucerer’s house, all safe in their beloved Peasland, ravaged by blubbits holes.

                        #2424

                        Doily said matter-of-factly to her little troop of headless travellers “Fancy a cup of tea?”

                        As none of them really cared to answer to the obvious fact that they didn’t have any teapot or sugar not to mention milk, lemon, and of course tea (other than a few random leaves that could have been used as an ersatz) she pursued her inspired tirade “Did you know that the Reunited Landers invented tea-bags by the way?”

                        Silence again.

                        “I just suddenly remembered, and it’s the funniest thing believe me… Those bloody Yorkies were sent some tea samples in silk pouches and they thought it the next best thing since the invention of boiled water and asked for more!…”
                        “Perhaps we should catch the blubbits in silk pouches…” she added after a moment.
                        “Frankly, anyone wanting to get home?” she then said with a bit of alarm in her voice “This Eighth Dimension doesn’t really got the promises of fun they sold us.”

                        “I was starting to think the same,” Pee answered raucously, startling everyone off their self induced Kuzhedoor trance state.

                        #2073

                        In reply to: Scrying the Word Cloud

                        TracyTracy
                        Participant

                          “Green years help often book!”
                          Elizabeth hand surprise.
                          Head Sanso: “Let dragons…..”
                          Finnley: “Dory fishes quickly!”
                          nothing answer…..
                          notice appeared remembered spiders,
                          speaking raucous Dolores:
                          “Stranger bird gift,
                          looks deep matter!”
                          “Write”, supposed young Phenol, whether himself less knows inside.
                          Monica bloody apparently, probable cow”.

                          :yahoo_cow:

                          #2412

                          The Peasland Majorburgmester rubbed his hands with an evil glee.

                          Fwick was knee deep in kneading for what appeared to be a lunatic idea bound to failure, and more importantly, it’s been weeks that no one had heard back from the expedition to the Eighth Dimension… And frankly, anyone having spent more than a few days in the Eighth Dimension usually was never to be heard of again —or heard speak anything intelligible for that matter, which didn’t make much difference either.
                          In fact, there had been some reports of sightings of the poor souls’ dog, what was its name already, Gandfleur or something equally ridiculous. But a single dog was hardly a problem, and now he couldn’t see how Peasland would be able to avoid the unavoidable blubbits dominion over Peaslanders.
                          He’d made that surer than sure; he’d gone again no later than yesterday, concealed under a waterproof floak (a floating cloak for inundated part of the lands), deep into the heart of Peasland’s plains now ridden in burrows to feed the breading mother of all blubbits a healthy dose of blunips. It had cost him most Mungibs he thought he would ever allow to part with, but it was Mungibs well placed. Soon people would plead for a real game changer. And he knew well who would step forward, and it was nothing like those headless twats.

                          He was in such a jolly mood, he’d called for a party. Well not officially called that, of course —Peaslanders were such worryworts about their crops and the famine that may occur… But a little friendly gathering to celebrate their heroes gone to the Eighth for answers. What a masquerade.

                          He was indeed in such a jolly mood that he took the sinewy and allwardly beautiful Lady Fin Min Hoot by the waist, and invited her to a delirious dance —it was indeed a dandy day for dancing— and for a little after-hour in his carriage when they are done jiggling their bodyparts (at least in public).

                          That was then, all tied up in leather ribbons and pillows’ owl’s feathers, when he (and Lady Fin) heard the raucous voice calling.

                          Gnarfle !
                          Yes, that was it! that was the stupid name of the dog!…

                          How come they’d managed to come back?!

                          #2402

                          “What?” The Majorburgmester of Peasland almost laughed of surprise at the incongruity of Fwick con Troll’s idea. “You’re telling that this…”

                          “Little spider, yes”
                          “Contains a potent venom that could wipe the blubbits off the face of Peasland?”
                          “Absolutely, dear Majorburgmester
                          “Are you out of your Fwicking mind, Fwick? What breading this nasty spider could possibly bring us any better than a plague of crop-eating blubbits in rut?”
                          “I was actually talking of breeding them, sir” Fwick objected
                          The Mayor continued unperturbed “Besides, we already have our fierce constable Stoll drill the mythic Eight Dimension for answers.”
                          “That would be placing a lot of trust in that foolish venture, I’m afraid to say, Majorburgmester. To date, very few people have managed to return safely.”
                          “Oh, who cares if they ever bloody come back Fwick! Come on! All we need to do is extort the answers from his spouse who’s kept all their heads in a safe place, I have no doubt of that.”
                          “Well… I wouldn’t place my head on this bet if I were you…”

                          “Ah, bugger off then with your stinking spider, and do your bloody experiments… As long as it doesn’t involve my name, and especially in case any misguided and sad assassination should occur, ahahaha. I’m joking of course.” The Mayor’s face (which was framed and hanged on the wall of the Majorburgmester Hall’s main office) suddenly shut any hint of humanity that could have been left on it.

                          #2395

                          “Has anybody noticed the moon is blue?” Pickel said pointing at the stars.
                          “Looks indeed like one effin’ big blubball now you mention it, lad” Auntie Looh’s head answered.

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