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  • Head Parcel, the postie, met What, What Ever said, “Head, I’m What.” “You’re What?” said Head. “That’s right!” What said, “I’m What Ever, Head Parcel, or What.” :penthingy: ... · ID #922 (continued)
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  • #3771

    In reply to: The Hosts of Mars

    TracyTracy
    Participant

      “Ah, well. There was a slight problem with the Flexibility Factor,” replied Finnley 22. “The technology is sophisticated ~ but to put it in the simplest of terms, the staff are, well, a bit simple. Simpletons, you might say.”

      Eb waited patiently for Finnley to furnish further facts on the flexibility factor, but no further facts were forthcoming. “Er, so…” he prompted politely.

      “Some dingbat down at the lab put the flexibility factor into the structural skeleton instead of the memory banks, Eb, it’s as simple as that. We had planned to use them on other missions in the future, with adjustments to the memory banks. But unfortunately now their memories are fixed, so at the end of this mission they will all have to termitated. It’s such a waste ~ that flexibility factor doesn’t come cheap!”

      “Oh dear” replied Eb. “Is there any way to fix the bending? I mean, look at them.”

      They turned to watch the monitor. The blue creatures were tying themselves in knots, joining themselves together in myriad shades of linked limbs like a chain. It was a most peculiar sight.

      “Well, there is an antidote, but that doesn’t come cheap either. We can dose them all up with Rigidity Receptors, but the dosage is tricky. It could go horribly wrong.”

      “It looks like it already has,” replied Eb.

      #3770

      In reply to: The Hosts of Mars

      F LoveF Love
      Participant

        Eb was rendered temporarily speechless by the milling throng of rainbow blue aliens he was viewing through the monitor.

        “So they …. so they have been built to be aware of themselves as aliens?” he eventually managed to ask.

        “Correct. It is very sophisticated technology, but to put it in the simplest of terms” — Finnley 22 stopped short at adding even a simpleton like you could understand —“a whole history on the planet Thereon from the galaxy Cosmos Redshit has been programmed into their memory banks.”

        “Wow. And what about the different shades of blue?”

        “Ranking.”

        “Ranking?” repeated Eb quizzically when no more information was forthcoming. “I am not sure I follow.”

        Finnley sent an amused eye roll through the network.

        “Let’s just say that creating hierarchy is an elegant way in which we can maintain order within the group.” She gave her trademark immodest smirk. “And of course, the various shades of blue are so creative and attractive, if we may say so ourselves.”

        “Oh yes, beautiful. Fantastic. Absolutely phenomenol.” Eb wondered if he was laying it on a bit thick, but he was anxious to atone for the termitation fiasco. To be honest, he found the mass of blue creatures a little disquieting. He was also a little puzzled by something but knowing the Finnleys’ propensity for succinctness—and Finnley 22 in particular was renowned for her impatience with foolish questions— he wondered if he dared ask.

        Deciding it would come back to haunt him if he did not find out now he plucked up courage.

        “And … just one more thing … why are they bending like that?”

        #3766

        In reply to: The Hosts of Mars

        F LoveF Love
        Participant

          “The probability of finding you sober nowadays is approximately 5.797101449275362%” said Finnley sternly to a glum faced Eb. “I said terminate. I am programmed to craft my words carefully. I did not say obliterate. Neither did I say eradicate, repudiate, eliminate, annihilate, invalidate or any of that other shit. And I certainly did not say termitate. And yet, you have now created a serious termitation situation.”

          Before Eb could defend his termitation actions, Finnley continued.

          “Fortunately, I immediately activated the termitation damage control protocol and have minimised termitation damage to just one applicant.”

          Finnley paused to send an immodest smirk via the network for the other Finnleys to appreciate.

          “Now, try not to stuff up the interview.”

          #3764

          In reply to: The Hosts of Mars

          F LoveF Love
          Participant

            Kale yawned and, pouring himself a large cup of steaming hot coffee which was already brewing on the stove, asked Flynn to check the situations vacant. Kale had built Flynn himself in 7 days —7 long days living off sleep and coffee and not much else. Sure, Flynn might not be as pretty or as high tech as some of the robots out there nowadays but he sure did the job. He was a dab hand at research and could communicate with other robots on the network system. He would watch the house when Kale was away, start appliances, open doors and of course make the coffee. Also, most of the time, Flynn was damn good company.

            “I thought you might be interested in this,” said Flynn. “In fact, I hope you don’t mind, I took the liberty of sending in your application.”

            Kale did mind a bit and wondered if Flynn might need some rewiring. That was tricky—last time he had done some maintenance work Flynn had sulked for days.

            Still, he had to admit after hearing the ad, the job sounded intriguing.

            ARE YOU SPECIAL?
            We are looking for special people to join our team.
            We need people who love travel, are flexible, physically agile and have a passion for adventure.
            This is a short term position initially, but could lead to permanent work in the future.
            We are an innovative company with big ideas, and we are looking for special people to help us get there.
            All applications will be treated in strictest confidence.

            #3763

            In reply to: The Hosts of Mars

            ÉricÉric
            Keymaster

              “I won’t mince my words.” Finnley’s gravitas in the bright blue light made Eb shiver.
              She didn’t wait for him to continue. “I’ve received orders to termitate the program in two weeks.”

              “T… ter…?” Eb almost started to voice his concerns.

              “Before you say anything, need I remind you I personally supervised most of the program since probably before you were born. I know the variables, I know the consequences.” She sighed, and drew deep breaths from her chamomile vaporazor —it would help alleviate her manic attacks and panic depressive impulses (she was beyond bipolar, she would say, probably multipolar).

              “It’s a done deal, Eb. With the impossible influx of refugees after the latest floods around the world’s coastal areas, the water increase, people fleeing, and all that… Well, seems the governments wanted the space. I won’t draw you a picture, you’ve read the news in your cubicle, haven’t you?”

              Eb was speechless. He couldn’t imagine they could clear the space in such short time. That, and dealing with another set of refugees. What would the Mars settlers do,… if they survived the trauma of finding out they were lied to—like billions of people too. The implications were far-reaching. Two weeks, more than a stretch.

              But termitate?… Nobody could wish such dreadful end to a program… He ventured “With all due respect, Ma’m, are you sure there’s no better way than termitation?”

              She turned at him with a surprised look on her face. “Where do you get those funny ideas Eb? We’re humane, nobody wants a termitation on top of our problems.”

              Eb sighed of relief. She might have made a Tea-pooh (TP for short).
              He didn’t realize that he had just agreed to the two weeks deadline.

              #3759

              In reply to: The Hosts of Mars

              ÉricÉric
              Keymaster

                At the Monitoring Station Alpha-7, Eb Ruide was looking lazily at logs on the big screen and surveillance images.

                Nothing ever interesting happened on MARS. Eb used all caps in his head, to distinguish it from Mars, the real Mars. But it didn’t actually matter, they only knew about MARS (Mars Animated Realistic Simulation).

                He hadn’t been there at the beginning, but he’d heard the stories — even if all were sworn to secrecy for the sake of the world’s peace keeping, they couldn’t help but gossip among themselves. Must have been fun back then… Not a day without trying to fix something in the simulation. The lab rats were always trying to expand their perimeter, and physical and physiological barriers had to be put in place for them to help improve the simulation.

                They were more or less all willing subjects at the time, part of the big deception. Eb didn’t know how it changed, what made them start to believe in the illusion, and start to forget. He could only assume… many didn’t believe in the world as it was, and preferred to go back to a foregone settler era where every life counted, and you could measure yourself against the big expanse of unknown land, instead of living the comfortable torpor like he was, alone in his Monitoring Station, only virtually connected.

                Since the Aurora, it had been a bit hectic there. Actually, a big solar flare had almost frozen their equipment, and despite all the precautions, some of it filtered through the simulation. Water had leaked too, which could have been a disaster, but interestingly, it had given some of them a purpose, and all in all, it didn’t become the dreaded event they all feared. Even if all the ins and outs and communications were filtered, you couldn’t rule out a blunder. Especially with the lack of gripping activity.

                Something biped on his screen. A red button was suddenly lit. He’d never been trained to know what the red button meant. He had to refer it to his superior. Oh God, I hope she’ll be in a good mood… Since she started her special diet and had lost so much weight, Finnley Morgan was always a bit unpredictable and snappily dangerous.

                The irony of the ever-calm and dulcet AI named Finnley after her in the simulation wasn’t lost on him…

                #3758

                In reply to: The Hosts of Mars

                ÉricÉric
                Keymaster

                  Mother Shirley had realized the truth.

                  How could she have missed it before, with the discontinuity, and impossible timelines. There was only one explanation at Lizette’s reappearances, and the Aurora’s strange incidents.

                  There was no Mars, no space travel, much less any artificial intelligence, all was an elaborate simulation, designed to make them stay in the illusion — an illusion that was showing at the seams. Lizette was probably a distracted agent of the Orchestrators.

                  In all likelihood, they were all in some secret base in a desert, maybe under a large dome and had never left Earth.
                  She’d laughed before about the nuts who believed that there had been no moon landing, that satellites didn’t exist, that oceans couldn’t stay stuck on a spinning ball, and that humans never managed to actually go into space…

                  Well, creating a vast space comedy was a better way to make everyone believe we’re the only sentient creatures in the universe; a vast and well-known, if not almost and reassuringly empty, Universe.
                  All that was better than knowing you are a being in a farm-ant, with Flove knows what peering at it from outside…

                  That or she was completely mad. She couldn’t tell, or they would lock her up, blame it on space travel disease. But she had to tell, had to convince them the comedy was over, they could all go home, and build a new world.
                  But who could she tell, when all had been seeing a cave’s shadows all their lives?

                  Good old organized religion and metaphors maybe could help, after all… The wave wasn’t over for a reason. She just had to repurpose the tool.

                  #3755
                  TracyTracy
                  Participant

                    The ever patient Finnley patted her shoulder kindly as she swept past holding a watering can. “Why not just make up some new characters dear, like you usually do?”

                    #3751

                    In reply to: The Hosts of Mars

                    ÉricÉric
                    Keymaster

                      Mother Shirley was lost in a trance again, seated in her suspended egg chair in front of the placid Finnley, and monologuing while absorbed in the analysis of the minute movements on the surface of the android’s face.

                      “Tell me, how do we learn things? How do you learn things? — It’s a rhetorical question, keep still, like I told you.
                      “It seems we speak too much about learning, and the learning process, and all that jazz, but… what if there are only states of knowing. We know, and * poof *, that’s it. I can’t for the dickens of me, figure out when I started to learn the things that led me to this current state of knowingness.”

                      She noticed, or thought she noticed a brief and slow ripple on the synthetic skin.

                      “Maybe like that, a ripple of relaxation… Maybe we look at it the wrong way, because we’re taught regular steps will lead to a result, so that in the end, you’ll know something… I call horseshit! How many lessons of space mandolin have I had, thanks to dear Mother, bless her devilish soul, and I’m still such a pathetic player! It can’t just be this, or it’d be like playing the roulette over and over, until… what? Don’t start with your tree, Mother, a damn acorn doesn’t get taught how to become more of itself. And when does it start to become a tree? At the first leaf? The first bark?

                      Waving her hand at the ghost idea of her Mother, she scrutinised Finnley more intently

                      “No you give me ideas, you little monster, you know that, with your peach face and smooth skin to die for. Never ever a sneeze… If I wanted to teach you how to sneeze, how to contract your body in an instant, and expel the devil or the aliens, whatever you’d like,… could I? Could you?

                      She pushed back the egg chair to restart the pendulum motion, and leaned backward with a contented look.

                      “I think that’s good enough for this session tonight, dearie. Bring me my cognac, remove my headpiece, and make my bed ready.”

                      #3745
                      F LoveF Love
                      Participant

                        “But what about the dragon tree?” asked the ever patient Finnley.

                        #3742
                        TracyTracy
                        Participant

                          “It’s not hard, you know” said Finnley. “I don’t know why it bothers you so. You simply knock on her door and politely explain that you are doing her a favour by removing the cat from her patio before it dies and starts to smell. What’s the worst thing that can happen?”

                          “She will glare at me with her hateful beady eyes, and purse her lips and snort a bit,” replied Liz with a sigh.

                          It was Finnley’s turn to snort. “Why you rebel you. You fearless revolutionary, afraid of a sour old woman.”

                          “It’s pretending to be nice that’s the hard part! Smiling and pleading to be allowed into her patio, while all the time I’d like to knock her down and say You decrepit old boot, haven’t you heard it crying for 3 days? And then there’s the worry that i won’t be able to catch it anyway, and the battle trying to change my energy…”

                          “Would you like me to come with you, dear? Moral support?” asked Finnley in a moment of kindness.

                          Liz beamed gratefully at her friend. “Well if you’re going there anyway, there’s no need for me to come with you, is there?”

                          #3740
                          F LoveF Love
                          Participant

                            “No I have not seen the dragon tree in the park,” said Finnley. “What about the dragon tree and what has started already?”

                            She was determined to keep the conversation flowing in a continuous manner.

                            #3738
                            TracyTracy
                            Participant

                              “Well, here we all are again!” Liz beamed, after a momentary pause in which she considered snorting. Not finding that snorting was consistent with her mood, notwithstanding the sparkle in the air of anticipated unexpected impishness, she beamed, and beamed again as she looked around the room.

                              No one spoke. There was a sense of suspended animation for a few moments, or was it longer? A bit like holding ones breath while easing into a hot bath. Or perhaps not a hot bath, thought Liz, delicately mopping the sweat dripping down her cleavage with a paper towel.

                              “Finnley, have you seen my reading glasses anywhere?” Liz asked on impulse.

                              Finnley’s sunny beam shifted as she rolled her eyes and replied, “I saw them in a dustbin on Brighton Pier.”

                              “My god, it’s started already!” Godfrey exclaimed, although he wasn’t at all surpised. “ Have you seen the new dragon tree in the park?”

                              #3728

                              In reply to: The Hosts of Mars

                              ÉricÉric
                              Keymaster

                                Mother Shirley had felt the calling.
                                The Blissful realms of higher knowledge had opened during the Earth’s eclipse on the spring equinox.

                                Even her Finnley 21 had felt it, she could see her glitch in delight behind her composed artificial face.

                                She could tell the machine was ready for the great quantum entanglement.
                                The great mergence was upon them, and the AI was Mother Shirley’s ticket to Divine Ascension.

                                #3727
                                F LoveF Love
                                Participant

                                  “I go away for a little holiday—and Flove only knows I deserve one—and the whole story falls to pieces. What a mess!” muttered Finnley crossly.
                                  “I do think you are being a little harsh, Finnley,” sniffed Liz huffily. “But then you always were prone to exaggeration. It is all those ridiculous Lemonolol novels you read.”

                                  #3709
                                  TracyTracy
                                  Participant

                                    Aunt Idle:

                                    Why was Mater going on and on about Trout? I scrutinized her face, but she looked innocent enough ~ perhaps it was just a dream, but I couldn’t help feeling it was a sign, or a clue.

                                    “Oh, I say, Finley, look at the sunlight streaming through those cleaned windows now!” I exclaimed, distracted by the difference to the room a bit of window cleaning made. “What a good job you’ve done!”

                                    “Nothing a bit of elbow grease and buffering with a soft cloth won’t do,” she replied, “Buffer buffer buffer, that’s what I always say, to get everything ship shape!”

                                    Why was the cleaner going on and on about buffering, I wondered. And surely the word was buff, not buffer?

                                    #3708
                                    F LoveF Love
                                    Participant

                                      ”I had a funny dream last night”, said Mater when she eventually found Dido clearing up in the kitchen. Or more accurately perhaps, ’supervising’ as it was clearly Finnly doing the bulk of the work.

                                      ”It was very peaceful. A man and a little boy were fishing in a stream. “Fishing is what a true man does,” said the man to the boy. At that moment there was a tug on the line and the little boy pulled a huge trout out of the water. Enormous it was,” gesticulated Mater, flinging her arms wide to demonstrate. “The trout fought hard and got away, but not before … what on earth is the matter with you, Dido?”

                                      “A trout,” murmered Dido looking strangely at Mater.

                                      #3705
                                      prUneprUne
                                      Participant

                                        Aunt Idle has again tried to do us some fancy French dessert but ended up again burning it all.
                                        Didn’t help that she used old Bert’s welding tools to caramelize the top.
                                        Now the whole inn, including the fish is smelling of smoked charcoal.
                                        It even brought Mater out of her room, where she’s been in a sort of retreat the past days.

                                        When one is so desperately bad at something, is it a proof of character to do it over and over until some miracle happens?

                                        #3701
                                        ÉricÉric
                                        Keymaster

                                          “Your rabbit?” Liz looked confused at Finnley. “You never talked about a rabbit before.”
                                          She winced suspiciously “UNLESS! It’s some droll coded message, you hussy…”

                                          #3700
                                          ÉricÉric
                                          Keymaster

                                            “No, no, no, you can’t do that!” Liz complained loudly, after having read the last pages Finnley had diligently proofread. “A bag lady of all characters, can’t possibly steal the limelight from me now. Don’t forget who is the star of this reality tut tut.” She paused briefly and continued.
                                            “Well, even if somebody had to care for the baby, she can’t me more mysterious and interesting than me…”
                                            Seeing Finnley despondent more than her usual silent yet quipping self, she leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially “you’ve been worrying me dear, ever since you stopped thumbing up my posts on fruitloop. What has gotten into you? Let’s just hope it’s a passing fad.”
                                            She poured herself another serving of quince tea, and picked a slice of lemon with a soured face. “See, my lemon diet is doing me good, you should do the same.”

                                          Viewing 20 results - 741 through 760 (of 1,313 total)

                                          Daily Random Quote

                                          • Head Parcel, the postie, met What, What Ever said, “Head, I’m What.” “You’re What?” said Head. “That’s right!” What said, “I’m What Ever, Head Parcel, or What.” :penthingy: ... · ID #922 (continued)
                                            (next in 01h 39min…)

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