Daily Random Quote

  • “Bugger!” bemoaned Fwick. “Blah! The butter is bitter. The butter I bought to go in the batter with the vegemyth. The butter is bitter, but now it’s blended in my batter and my blimmin batter is bitter.” The little spider giggled gleefully to himself. ... · ID #2409 (continued)
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  • #4462

    Night had fallen when Rukshan came back to the cottage. He was thinking that they could wait a little bit for the trip. He did not like that much the idea of trusting the safety of their group to a stranger, even if it was a friend of Lhamom. They were not in such a rush after all.

    Rukshan looked at their luxuriant newly grown pergola. Thanks to the boost potion Glynis had prepared, it had only took a week to reach its full size and they have been able to enjoy it since the start of the unusual hot spell. The creatures that had hatched from the colourful eggs Gorrash had brought with him were flowing around the branches creating a nice glowing concerto of lights, inside and out.

    It was amazing how everyone were combining their resources and skills to make this little community function. In the shadow of the pergola there was an empty pedestal that Fox had built and Eleri had decorated with nice grapes carvings. Gorrash was certainly on patrol with the owls. His friends had thought that a pedestal would be more comfortable and the pergola would keep Gorrash’s stone from the scorching heat of the sun. Also, he wouldn’t get covered in mud during the sudden heavy rains accompanying the hot spell.

    Seeing the beautiful pedestal and the carved little stairs he could use to climb up, Gorrash had tried to hide the tears in his eyes. He mumbled it was due to some desert dust not to appear emotional, but they all knew his hard shell harboured the softest heart.

    The dwarf had repaid them in an unexpected way. Every day just before sunrise, he would take a big plate in his hands and jumped on the pedestal before turning to stone. It allowed them to put grapes or other fruits that they could eat under the shadow of the of the pergola.

    Rukshan came into the house and he found Margoritt sitting at the dining table on which there was a small parchment roll. Her angry look was so unusual that Rukshan’s felt his chest tighten.

    “They sent me a bloody pigeon,” she said when she arrived. She took the roll and handed it to Rukshan. “The city council… Leroway… he accuses us of unauthorised expansion of the house, of unauthorised construction on communal ground, and of unlicensed trade of manufactured goods.” Margoritt’s face was twisted with pain as the said the words.

    Rukshan winced. Too much bad news were arriving at the same time. If there was a pattern, it seemed rather chaotic and harassing.

    “They threaten us to send a bailif if we don’t stop our illegal activities and if we don’t pay the extra taxes they reclaim,” she continued. “I’m speechless at the guile of that man.”

    Rukshan smiled, he wondered if Margoritt could ever be rendered speechless by anything except for bad flu. He uncoiled the roll and quickly skimmed through the long string of accusations. Many of them were unfair and, to his own opinion unjustified. Since when the forest belonged to Leroway’s city? It had always been sacred ground, and its own master.

    “I have no money,” said Margoritt. “It’s so unfair. I can’t fight with that man. I’m too old and tired.”

    “Don’t forget we are all in the same cottage, Margoritt. It’s not just you. Eventhough, they clearly want to evict us,” said Rukshan. “Even if we had enough money, they would not let us stay.” He showed her the small roll. “The list of accusations is so ludicrous that it’s clearly a ploy to get rid of us. First, that road they want to build through the forest, now evicting us from the ground.” And those bad omens from the mountain, he thought with a shiver.

    “We are not going to give them that satisfaction, are we?” asked Margoritt, pleading like a little girl. “We have to find something Rukshan,” she said. “You have to help me fight Leroway.”

    “Ahem,” said a rockous voice. Gorrash had returned from his patrol. “I know where to find money,” he added. “At leas, I think I know. I had another dream about my maker. It’s just bits and pieces, but I’m sure he hid some treasure in the mountains. There was that big blue diamond, glowing as brightly as a blue sun. And other things.”

    A big blue diamond? It sounds familiar. Rukshan thought. There was an old fae legend that mentioned a blue diamond but he couldn’t remember. Is it connected to the blue light Olliver mentioned earlier? He wondered.

    “That’s it! You have to go find this treasure,” said Margoritt.

    Rukshan sighed as he could feel the first symptoms of a headache. There was so much to think about, so much to do. He massaged his temples. The trip had suddenly become urgent, but they also had to leave someone behind to help Margoritt with the “Leroway problem”. And he winced as he wondered who was going to take care of that road business. It was clear to him that he couldn’t be everywhere at the same time. He would have to delegate.

    He thought of the telebats. Maybe he could teach the others how to use them so that he could keep in touch and manage everything at distance. He sighed again. Who would be subtle and sensitive enough to master the telebats in time?

    #4458

    “Oh, don’t be such a worry-wort, Rukshan,” said Glynis sharply and with an almost imperceptible roll of her eyes. “It’s just the heat. It makes things seem … you know …. “ Her voice trailed off and she shrugged, following Rukshan’s gaze.

    The truth was, though she were unwilling to admit it, she also felt a slight anxiety. But without knowing the origin of the unease, Glynis felt helpless to confront whatever evil was lurking.

    “I’ll go and make some more herb cooler,” she said quietly.

    #4456
    TracyTracy
    Participant

      Before she went outside she couldn’t resist having a look at the next non ending, and found it rather intriguing:

      “He had a brief hesitation for the reignited spark left in the draft of wind that would follow, but had figured for some time now, that all things would be alright in the end, and if it were not the case, then it wasn’t the end.”

      #4453
      TracyTracy
      Participant

        Liz had an idea, and was glad that the others were all out on a day trip to the museum so that she could think about it without interruptions. It had occurred to her that there was probably a theme right under their noses regarding the multitudes of non endings in the stories. Where exactly had they all ended without actually ending?

        Sure enough, the first one she looked at seemed promising with the mention of sheets:

        “Yurick woke up from another spell of dreams. The patterns of the bedsheets where as though his newly inserted tile was creating a strong combination with other tiles.
        In his puzzlement, he forgot to take a physical dream snapshot…”

        Liz had had a personal breakthrough with bedsheets recently, and was pleased with this encouraging start.

        When Liz looked at the next non ending of a story, she wondered if this would prove to be a theme: the characters themselves had gone missing.

        “I haven’t heard a word from Lavender for the longest time, Lilac was wondering, When was the last time? Lavender, where ARE you?”

        Liz had a slight jolt when she saw the non ending of the story after that, worried that she would find a trend of herself being the last writer to comment. What would that mean, she wondered?

        “Minky was looking smug. “Enjoying the ride?”

        Ending with a question? Well, that was something to think about. Liz was relived to find she wasn’t the last writer to write in the next story:

        “For once, Arona was completely unconcerned about continuity.
        “I wonder if we could harness the power of the wind to create a flash mob to amuse and entertain me?” she suggested.
        Vincentius pondered for a moment “I did once employ a hamster to power a night light, so I don’t see why not.”

        Smiling at the continuity remark, Liz pondered the nature of the message in this one. Anything can be created to amuse… can it be that easy?

        Another nasty jolt as Liz read the last entry in the following story, considering the irritating few days she had just had with the online payment company:

        “She clicked with her dysfunctionning mouse and invalidated the transaction again.”

        Well, Liz said to herself, I certainly hope that little chuckle will have helped change the online transaction situation going on here presently!

        #4448

        Somewhere on the roadworks…

        The holes and cracks had awoken ancient creatures from the fabled hollow worlds of myths…

        #4441
        Jib
        Participant

          Finnley presented the plate of freshly baked round cookies to Liz who took one and watched it warily, not sure how to feel about them. Certainly the herbal chocolate made her mouth watery like the Niagara falls, but…
          “Why on earth did you give them those baby faces?” she asked.
          Finnley shrugged.
          “I’ve been taking pottery class recently and thought I could do extra practice at home. I have a project you know.”
          “Have you heard of nailed it?” Liz asked, biting in into the cheek of one chubby little cookie with melting sugary blue eyes. It distorted its laughing mouth in such a way that it looked like it was crying now. She felt a bit guilty about it, but the chocolate taste exploding in her own mouth made her forget all about it and she swallowed the other cheek.

          “Look! they can move!” said Roberto. He was pressing on the sides of one particularly creepy little face, making its mouth talk. “Give me milk!”

          “Stop playing with food, Roberto,” said Finnley. The hispanic gardener looked at her with puppy eyes and swallowed whole the baby cookie. “Showy,” he said his mouth full.
          “Where is Godfrey, now,” she muttered, “Everyone needs to taste one.

          #4436

          In reply to: Scrying the Word Cloud

          TracyTracy
          Participant

            glowing fence mean visit forgotten
            felt focus sunny witch behind wisdom
            hungry stories taking early under eggs
            keep laughing carefully nature

            #4432
            Jib
            Participant

              Roberto had gone to the swimming pool. He was mostly puzzled by how reality had shifted into those broken pieces that didn’t seem to fit together since he had come back from that strange tunnel with all the roots spawning strange characters from glowing pink bubbly growth.
              It must have something to do with the pink liquid leaking frrrrom those strrrange pouches, he thought.

              He looked pensively at the swimming pool. Half of it was covered by thick ice while the other half was boiling with micro bubbles rising from the bottom and the walls, and steam slowly rising in the cool spring air.

              Roberto had first thought there might be something wrong with the water cleaning mechanism of the swimming pool, but he had checked it and nothing was wrong, except the cleaning bot was stuck in the icy part of the swimming pool.

              His second thought had been that it was a fancy pool cover installed by la señora Liz. But he didn’t find the retracting mechanism. La señora Liz and la muchacha Finnley, his colleague, seemed busy with the man with the moustache. Roberto had the impression the man wanted to find a wife, he didn’t want to intrude and say anything. He had tried to talk to el mayordomo Geoffrey, but he was busy again preparing another viaje de negocios for la señora.

              So Roberto was there pondering in front of the swimming pool. That’s when he noticed the entrance of the green maze just on the other side of the pool, at the junction between summer and winter. He didn’t remember if it was there before.

              #4431
              Jib
              Participant

                That sunny day would be remembered as the day the doline shook and trembled.

                The geckoes fell from their rock, cutting all communication between the inhabitants of the hidden world. The vibrations coming from leperchauns know where had swiftly spread into the walls down to the deepest cracks and hidden chambers of the back cave far deeper than any of the inhabitants of the doline dared to show their noses. And Most of them weren’t aware at all of all that empty dark and cold and wet space. At some point, the vibrations gathered and rebounded into the bottom of the deepest caves and came back out in a roar that might have take the inhabitants’ hats off, if they wore hats.

                The bats flew away into the sunlight, blinded and deafened, bumping into each others as their fabulously acute sense of hearing was overwhelmed by the vibrations and the rich harmonics generated in the crystal chambers down below. Some fell, spiraling down as if they had been shot by some anti aerial defense. They fell in the cockroach arena and into the reservoir of dung gathered by the dung beetles, almost crushing Daisy in the process. Her father caught her safe and rolled her like the little dung beetle she was.

                The rats ran away spreading panic like plague, and while some tried to take advantage of the confusion to steal others food, when the vibration kept on shaking the ground around them and stalactites fell like fringe hail exploding into thousands projectiles, they began to fear.

                It took some time for the dust and noise to settle down, long after the vibration had ceased. All the inhabitants of the doline had gathered on the edge of the entrance, not knowing if it was safe to go back home.

                Hugo the Gecko wondered like many of the others.

                What just happened? What if it happened again? Somebody had to volunteer to go see what it was that made that noise.

                But no one came forth, all too shocked by the recent events. You could even hear some calling their families or friends.

                Hugo didn’t feel up to the task, he was too small and fragile. What if another of those big rocks fell on his soft and elastic body? It would explode like a water bomb. Except the puddle would be red. Yet, when he saw little Daisy desperately looking for her mother, something rose in him. Something he had never felt before. Some might call it courage, but Hugo didn’t have a name for it. All he knew was that he entered the doline and went down to the flat stone, calling his gecko friends on the way to follow him. Dragged along by that strange emotion that was moving their friend, they followed and listened to him when he gave them a few instructions. They resumed their place on the stone, except this time Hugo was at the center and began to draw something.

                The inhabitants of the doline had looked not understanding what the geckoes were doing, calling them reckless idiots to venture back into the broken world. But they looked at the strange shapes appearing on the flat stone at the center of the doline.

                Suddenly a voice came out of the crowd. “It’s me! I’m here!” she said and waved her little beetle legs. “Daisy, Mummy’s here!”

                Then everybody wanted to pass a message and the geckoes felt they were making a difference.

                Despite the agitation, Hugo kept wondering. What happened? Someone has to go and see.

                #4430
                F LoveF Love
                Participant

                  One spring day in 1822, so the story goes, Emerald Huntingford was walking the family dog on the extensive family estate, when the dog ran into a densely wooded area in hot pursuit of a rabbit. This was not uncommon, however on this occasion Emerald whistled and called but the dog did not return to her. She ran back to the house and shouted for her brother, Nigel, to help her find the it.

                  After several hours of frantic searching, for it was a much loved family pet, and just as they were beginning to despair, they heard whimpering coming from a hole in the ground. They cleared away the brush covering the entrance to the hole and saw it went some way into the ground and it was here the unfortunate dog had fallen. It was too deep for them to enter unaided, so while Emerald sat with the dog and called reassuringly down to it, Nigel ran for assistance. With the help of ropes and several strong farm workers, Nigel descended into the space. To his amazement, he found himself in a clay filled dome with shallow entrances going off to other underground galleries. At that time, with his focus on the injured dog, he had no inkling of the extent of it. It was later on, after they had time to explore, that the Huntingfords started to comprehend the amazing world which existed under their land.

                  Word spread, and they were offered a substantial amount of money by a mining company to mine the land. Locals, and others from further afield, wanted to visit the doline and many would try and do so, with or without seeking permission from the Huntingfords first. Some argued that if you don’t own the sky above your land, why should you have claim to the ground beneath?

                  The Huntingfords were wealthy and had no need or desire to sell the rights to their land. Eventually, their patience worn thin by the aggressive mining company and invasive tourists, they decided to defend their claim to the doline in court; a claim which they won. From that time on, as one generation of the family passed the secrets of the doline to another, guards were employed to keep watch over the entrance, that none may enter the underground world without the approval of the family.

                  And it seems none had, until now.

                  #4426
                  TracyTracy
                  Participant

                    Albie pondered Lottie’s words. He’d been trying to forget the doline, but now he realized he’d been avoiding the inevitable. It was no good pretending there were other jobs for him, that much was becoming clear. His mission had been to protect the doline, and he’d failed.

                    Or had he? A new idea was glimmering in his mind, that he hadn’t failed at all. At first he’d been so embarrassed and anxious about the security breach that he’d only seen the obvious superficial layer of events. Yes, strangers had entered the doline; true, they were not supposed to let that happen. But now he wondered, were they strangers to the doline? Who were they? Maybe they were meant to enter, and his apparent lack of attention was a providential and timely. How did he, Albie, even know for sure that he was working for the right side? What did he really know about his bosses? And what about that handsome fellow who’d slithered out of the doline, the dark eyed one with leaves in his hair?

                    Albie hadn’t even told Alex about him, not after the shit hit the fan about the breach and illegal entry. The last thing he felt like doing was admitting that there had been an illegal escape as well. But Albie couldn’t stop thinking about him, the graceful way he shook the dust out of his hair, the depths of those lustrous dark eyes, his long slender fingers….

                    Now, Albie was kicking himself for hiding behind a tree, for not approaching the strange man, or at least following him to see where he was going. His job was to stop people from entering. Nobody had said anything about stopping people leaving it. It was unexpected, and he’d been scared. Was it too late to try and track his movements? He’d come out of the doline, he’d have stories to tell. Albie needed to know, he needed to find him.

                    He would find a way to trace him. He wondered if the new dog could help him, if he could find something with the mans scent upon it. Albie was determined to find a way.

                    #4419

                    In reply to: Scrying the Word Cloud

                    ÉricÉric
                    Keymaster

                      come interest mud completely forget
                      follow boring dragon ceiling spell
                      latest further dreams liz forgetful
                      realised starting towards death run quietly

                      #4417
                      TracyTracy
                      Participant

                        Lottie shook here head slowly and peered over her reading glasses at Albie.

                        “I’m sorry to say this, son, but this is utter rubbish. I really don’t think you should waste any more time on this writing lark.”

                        #4404
                        Jib
                        Participant

                          Liz left her bed at 8:30am, wearing only her pink and blue doubled cotton night gown, a perfect hair and her fluffy pink blue mules. She had been thinking about her characters while the sun was trying to rise with great difficulty. Liz couldn’t blame the Sun as temperatures had dropped dramatically since the beginning of winter and the air outside was really cold.

                          When Liz was thinking about her writings and her characters, she usually felt hungry. Someone had told her once that the brain was a hungry organ and that you needed fuel to make it work properly. She didn’t have a sweet tooth, but she wouldn’t say no to some cheesy toast, any time of the day.

                          She had heard some noise coming from the kitchen, certainly Finnley doing who knows what, although certainly not cleaning. It might be the association between thinking about her characters and the noise in the kitchen that triggered her sudden craving for a melted slice of cheese on top of a perfectly burnished toast. The idea sufficed to make her stomach growl.

                          She chuckled as she thought of inventing a new genre, the toast opera. Or was it a cackle?

                          As she was lost in her morning musings, her mules gave that muffled slippery sound on the floor that Finnley found so unladylike. Liz didn’t care, she even deliberately slowed her pace. The slippery sound took on another dimension, extended and stretched to the limit of what was bearable even for herself. Liz grinned, thinking about Finnley’s slight twitching right eye as she certainly was trying to keep her composure in the kitchen.

                          Liz, all cheerful, was testing the differences between a chuckle and a cackle when she entered the kitchen. She was about to ask Finnley what she thought about it when she saw a small person in a yellow tunic and green pants, washing the dishes.

                          Liz stopped right there, forgetting all about chuckles and cackles and even toasts.

                          “Where is Finnley?” she asked, not wanting to appear the least surprised. The small person turned her head toward Liz, still managing to keep on washing the dishes. It was a girl, obviously from India.

                          “Good morning, Ma’am. I’m Anna, the new maid only.”

                          “The new… maid?”

                          Liz suddenly felt panic crawling behind her perfectly still face. She didn’t want to think about the implications.

                          “Why don’t you use the dishwasher?” she asked, proud that she could keep the control of her voice despite her hunger, her questions about chuckles and cackles, and…

                          “The dirty dishes are very less, there is no need to use the dishwasher only.”

                          Liz looked at her bobbing her head sideways as if the spring had been mounted the wrong way.

                          “Are you alright?” asked Anna with a worried look.

                          “Of course, dear. Make me a toast with a slice of cheese will you?”

                          “How do I do that?”

                          “Well you take the toaster and you put the slice of bread inside and pushed the lever down… Have you never prepared toasts before?”

                          “No, but yes, but I need to know how you like it only. I want to make it perfect for your liking, otherwise you won’t be satisfied.” The maid suddenly looked lost and anxious.

                          “Just do as you usually do,” said Liz. “Goddfrey?” she called, leaving the kitchen before the maid could ask anymore questions.

                          Where was Goddfrey when she needed him to explain everything?

                          “You need me?” asked a voice behind her. He had appeared from nowhere, as if he could walk through the walls or teleport. Anyway, she never thought she would be so relieved to see him.

                          “What’s that in the kitchen?”

                          “What’s what? Oh! You mean her. The new maid.”

                          He knew! Liz felt a strange blend of frustration, despair and anger. She took mental note to remember it for her next chapter, and came back to her emotional turmoil. Was she the only one unaware of such a bit change in her home?

                          “Well, she followed us when we were in India. We don’t know how, but she managed to find a place in one of your trunks. Finnley found her as she had the porter unpacked the load. It seems she wants to help.”

                          #4403
                          F LoveF Love
                          Participant

                            random plot generator

                            A BOOK SHOP – IT IS THE AFTERNOON AFTER ALBIE HIT HIS MOTHER WITH A FEATHER.

                            Newly unemployed ALBIE is arguing with his friend JENNY RAMSBOTTOM. ALBIE tries to hug JENNY but she shakes him off angrily.

                            ALBIE
                            Please Jenny, don’t leave me.

                            JENNY
                            I’m sorry Albie, but I’m looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away. You hit your mother with a feather! You could have just talked to her!

                            ALBIE
                            I am such a person!

                            JENNY
                            I’m sorry, Albie. I just don’t feel excited by this relationship anymore.

                            JENNY leaves and ALBIE sits down, looking defeated.

                            Moments later, gentle sweet shop owner MR MATT HUMBLE barges in looking flustered.

                            ALBIE
                            Goodness, Matt! Is everything okay?

                            MATT
                            I’m afraid not.

                            ALBIE
                            What is it? Don’t keep me in suspense…

                            MATT
                            It’s … a hooligan … I saw an evil hooligan frighten a bunch of elderly ladies!

                            ALBIE
                            Defenseless elderly ladies?

                            MATT
                            Yes, defenseless elderly ladies!

                            ALBIE
                            Bloomin’ heck, Matt! We’ve got to do something.

                            MATT
                            I agree, but I wouldn’t know where to start.

                            ALBIE
                            You can start by telling me where this happened.

                            MATT
                            I was…
                            MATT fans himself and begins to wheeze.

                            ALBIE
                            Focus Matt, focus! Where did it happen?

                            MATT
                            The Library! That’s right – the Library!

                            ALBIE springs up and begins to run.

                            EXT. A ROADCONTINUOUS

                            ALBIE rushes along the street, followed by MATT. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.

                            INT. A LIBRARYSHORTLY AFTER

                            ROGER BLUNDER a forgetful hooligan terrorises two elderly ladies.

                            ALBIE, closely followed by MATT, rushes towards ROGER, but suddenly stops in his tracks.

                            MATT
                            What is is? What’s the matter?

                            ALBIE
                            That’s not just any old hooligan, that’s Roger Blunder!

                            MATT
                            Who’s Roger Blunder?

                            ALBIE
                            Who’s Roger Blunder? Who’s Roger Blunder? Only the most forgetful hooligan in the universe!

                            MATT
                            Blinkin’ knickers, Albie! We’re going to need some help if we’re going to stop the most forgetful hooligan in the universe!

                            ALBIE
                            You can say that again.

                            MATT
                            Blinkin’ knickers, Albie! We’re going to need some help if we’re going to stop the most forgetful hooligan in the universe!

                            ALBIE
                            I’m going to need candlesticks, lots of candlesticks.

                            Roger turns and sees Albie and Matt. He grins an evil grin.

                            ROGER
                            Albie Jones, we meet again!

                            MATT
                            You’ve met?

                            ALBIE
                            Yes. It was a long, long time ago…

                            EXT. A PARKBACK IN TIME

                            A young ALBIE is sitting in a park listening to some trance music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.

                            He looks up and sees ROGER. He takes off his headphones.

                            ROGER
                            Would you like some wine gums?

                            ALBIE’s eyes light up, but then he studies ROGER more closely, and looks uneasy.

                            ALBIE
                            I don’t know, you look kind of forgetful.

                            ROGER
                            Me? No. I’m not forgetful. I’m the least forgetful hooligan in the world.

                            ALBIE
                            Wait, you’re a hooligan?

                            ALBIE runs away, screaming.

                            INT. A LIBRARYPRESENT DAY

                            ROGER
                            You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.

                            MATT
                            (To ALBIE) You ran away?
                            ALBIE
                            (To MATT) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
                            ALBIE turns to ROGER.

                            ALBIE
                            I may have run away from you then, but I won’t run away this time!
                            ALBIE runs away.

                            He turns back and shouts.

                            ALBIE
                            I mean, I am running away, but I’ll be back – with candlesticks.

                            ROGER
                            I’m not scared of you.

                            ALBIE
                            You should be.

                            INT. A SWEET SHOPLATER THAT DAY

                            ALBIE and MATT walk around searching for something.

                            ALBIE
                            I feel sure I left my candlesticks somewhere around here.

                            MATT
                            Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly candlesticks.

                            ALBIE
                            You know nothing Matt Humble.

                            MATT
                            We’ve been searching for ages. I really don’t think they’re here.

                            Suddenly, ROGER appears, holding a pair of candlesticks.

                            ROGER
                            Looking for something?

                            MATT
                            Crikey, Albie, he’s got your candlesticks.

                            ALBIE
                            Tell me something I don’t already know!

                            MATT
                            The earth’s circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.

                            ALBIE
                            I know that already!

                            MATT
                            I’m afraid of dust.

                            ROGER
                            (appalled) Dude!

                            While ROGER is looking at MATT with disgust, ALBIE lunges forward and grabs his deadly candlesticks. He wields them, triumphantly.

                            ALBIE
                            Prepare to die, you forgetful aubergine!

                            ROGER
                            No please! All I did was frighten a bunch of elderly ladies!

                            JENNY enters, unseen by any of the others.

                            ALBIE
                            I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those elderly ladies were defenceless! Well now they have a defender – and that’s me! Albie Jones defender of innocent elderly ladies.

                            ROGER
                            Don’t hurt me! Please!

                            ALBIE
                            Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t use these candlesticks on you right away!

                            ROGER
                            Because Albie, I am your father.

                            ALBIE looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.

                            ALBIE
                            No you’re not!

                            ROGER
                            Ah well, it had to be worth a try.

                            ROGER tries to grab the candlesticks but ALBIE dodges out of the way.

                            ALBIE
                            Who’s the daddy now? Huh? Huh?

                            Unexpectedly, ROGER slumps to the ground.

                            MATT
                            Did he just faint?

                            ALBIE
                            I think so. Well that’s disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly candlesticks.

                            ALBIE crouches over ROGER’s body.

                            MATT
                            Be careful, Albie. It could be a trick.

                            ALBIE
                            No, it’s not a trick. It appears that… It would seem… Roger Blunder is dead!

                            ALBIE
                            What?

                            ALBIE
                            Yes, it appears that I scared him to death.

                            MATT claps his hands.

                            MATT
                            So your candlesticks did save the day, after all.

                            JENNY steps forward.

                            JENNY
                            Is it true? Did you kill the forgetful hooligan?

                            ALBIE
                            Jenny how long have you been…?

                            JENNY puts her arm around ALBIE.

                            JENNY
                            Long enough.

                            ALBIE
                            Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Roger Blunder.

                            JENNY
                            Then the elderly ladies are safe?

                            ALBIE
                            It does seem that way!

                            A crowd of vulnerable elderly ladies enter, looking relived.

                            JENNY
                            You are their hero.

                            The elderly ladies bow to ALBIE.

                            ALBIE
                            There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Roger Blunder will never frighten elderly ladies ever again, is enough for me.

                            JENNY
                            You are humble as well as brave! And I think that makes up for hitting your mother with a feather. It does in my opinion!

                            One of the elderly ladies passes ALBIE a healing ring

                            JENNY
                            I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.

                            ALBIE
                            I couldn’t possibly.
                            Pause.

                            ALBIE
                            Well, if you insist. It could come in handy when I go to the Doline tomorrow. With my friend Matt. It is dangerous and only for brave people and a healing ring could come in handy.

                            ALBIE takes the ring.

                            ALBIE
                            Thank you.
                            The elderly ladies bow their heads once more, and leave.

                            ALBIE turns to JENNY.

                            ALBIE
                            Does this mean you want me back?

                            JENNY
                            Oh, Albie, of course I want you back!
                            ALBIE smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.

                            ALBIE
                            Well you can’t have me.

                            JENNY
                            WHAT?

                            ALBIE
                            You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a hooligan to death before you would believe in me. I don’t want a lover like that. And I am going to the Doline and I may not be back!

                            JENNY
                            But…

                            ALBIE
                            Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin – my best friend, Matt.

                            MATT grins.

                            JENNY
                            But…

                            MATT
                            You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!

                            JENNY
                            Albie?

                            ALBIE
                            I’m sorry Jenny, but I think you should skidaddle.
                            JENNY leaves.

                            MATT turns to ALBIE.

                            MATT
                            Did you mean that? You know … that I’m your best friend?

                            ALBIE
                            Of course you are!
                            The two walk off arm in arm.

                            Suddenly MATT stops.

                            MATT
                            When I said I’m afraid of dust, you know I was just trying to distract the hooligan don’t you?

                            #4402
                            F LoveF Love
                            Participant

                              (With thanks to random story generator for this comment)

                              Albie looked at the soft feather in his hands and felt happy.

                              He walked over to the window and reflected on his silent surroundings. He had always loved haunting the village near the doline with its few, but faithful inhabitants. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel happiness.

                              Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Ma. He felt his mood drop. Ma was ambitious and a mean-spirited bossy boots.

                              Albie gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was an impulsive, kind-hearted, beer drinker. His friends saw him as an amusing foolish clown. But he was kind-hearted and once, he had even brought a brave baby bird back from the brink of death.

                              But not even an impulsive person who had once brought a brave baby bird back from the brink of death, was prepared for what Ma had in store today.

                              The inclement brooding silence teased like a sitting praying mantis, making Albie anticipate the worst.

                              As Albie stepped outside and Ma came closer, he could see the mean glint in her eye.

                              Ma glared with all the wrath of 9 thoughtless hurt hippo. She said, in hushed tones, “I disown you and I want you to leave.”

                              Albie looked back, even more nervous and still fingering the soft feather. “Ma, please don’t boss me. I am going to the doline,” he replied.

                              They looked at each other with conflicted feelings, like two deep donkeys chatting at a very funny farewell.

                              Suddenly, Ma lunged forward and tried to punch Albie in the face. Quickly, Albie grabbed the soft feather and brought it down on Ma’s skull.

                              Ma’s skinny ear trembled and her short legs wobbled. She looked excited, her emotions raw like a rabblesnatching, rare rock.

                              Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Ma was dead.

                              Albie went back inside and had himself a cold beer.

                              #4400
                              F LoveF Love
                              Participant

                                Inquisitive Bert
                                A Short Story
                                by trove flacy
                                Bert had always loved rambling Fish Inn with its boiled boarders. It was a place where he felt happiness.

                                He was an inquisitive, depressed, tea drinker with skinny ears and tall sheep. His friends saw him as a moaning, mashed monster. Once, he had even saved a nasty old lady that was stuck in a drain. That’s the sort of man he was.

                                Bert walked over to the window and reflected on his brooding surroundings. The rain hammered like jumping dog.

                                Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Mater . Mater was a bigoted flower with attractive ears.

                                Bert gulped. He was not prepared for Mater.

                                As Bert stepped outside and Mater came closer, he could see the lovely smile on her face.

                                Mater glared with all the wrath of 1553 honest hilarious hippo. She said, in hushed tones, “I hate you and I want information.”

                                Bert looked back, even more ecstatic and still fingering the new-fangled car. “Mater, I own the inn,” he replied.

                                They looked at each other with annoyed feelings, like two delicious, damaged donkey laughing at a very free house sale, which had piano music playing in the background and two sanguine uncles shouting to the beat.

                                Bert regarded Mater’s attractive ear. “I feel the same way!” revealed Bert with a delighted grin.

                                Mater looked puzzled, her emotions blushing like a loud, little letter box.

                                Then Mater came inside for a nice cup of tea.

                                THE END

                                #4398
                                ÉricÉric
                                Keymaster

                                  “Flat as a pancake!” she said with a doleful air and grandiose waves of her hands. “The world is flat as a pancake. Oh, sure it turns, about just as slow as needed so we won’t notice, little bugs that we are on that big flat pancake.”
                                  “Really? And the doline…”
                                  “At the center of it, obviously.” She paused mysteriously. “And if the legends are true, when the gates open, all the other stuff freely goes in and out.”
                                  “From where?” another student asked
                                  EVERYWHERE” she leaned her head forward, matted hair sticking to her temple, a feverish madness twinkling her eyes. “All the dimensions take a turn, turn, turn, turn.”

                                  #4393
                                  TracyTracy
                                  Participant

                                    They have entered, now peace is all shattered,
                                    And the quiet was all that had mattered,
                                    But alas that is over,
                                    And blown is my cover,
                                    And I’m sulky and not feeling flattered.

                                    Petra was scribbling furiously in her expedition notebook, not wanting to forget the exact wording of the curious message she had received on waking from her nap behind the rocks. It was not the first time she had heard telepathic messages in rhyme, and wondered briefly about the possible connections, but then Lillianne woke up farting dreadfully, and she was distracted.

                                    #4392
                                    Jib
                                    Participant

                                      “Tourists!” shouted Ugo the gecko to his albino friends. They all stopped and turned their heads in unison to look at the two humans who had entered the premises, inside their small chests their hearts beating fast with excitement like so many small shamanic drums that only gecko ears could hear. Ugo was so engrossed in those two humongous creatures and the hypnotic rhythm of his friends’ heartbeats that he didn’t see the suckers from his front left paw were getting loose again. They had been damaged in a fight with a twirling bat one week ago and they still hadn’t heal nicely because he didn’t care so much. Soon his left paw got detached from the ancient stones of the wall, followed by his right and soon he fell. But like he was made of sticking rubber the fall was short and he got stuck again on a lower stone, walking on the head of a few friends in the process.

                                      “Sorry for that! I’ll have them checked, promise.”

                                      Some of the geckos missed a heartbeat, frightened by the sudden turmoil. They ran in what might appear random directions and panic quickly spread among the albino geckolony on the wall. By a miracle of nature and because they were all so fascinated by tourists, the geckos rearranged nicely only to stop a sucking steps away and turned their head back again toward the tourists. Their hearts beating in unison again.

                                      “Look! that dark wall over there with the white hieroglyphs. I’m sure it just moved!” said the tallest of the tourists. She was curious and decided to go watch by herself what that curious wall was about.

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