Tracy
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“Hot cakes!” Nasty shouted. “HOT CAKES!”
Lilac rolled her eyes. I don’t think I can take much more of this nonsense, she thought.
Nasturtium knew what Lilac was thinking and added “Hot cakes is the clue, Lilac! YEAST!”
“Yeast?”
“Yes, yeast! There was too much yeast in the furcano mixture. Too much yeast and what happens? It rises too much! We must find a way to neutralize the yeast!”
“Well I think I can help you there” replied Lilac helpfully. “I’ll give old Dophilus a ring. Never been a saucerer better at sorting out yeast problems. You know Horace Dophilus!” she added, seeing Nasty’s blank look. “He was a guest speaker at the Worserversity once, remember? In some circles he’s known as the Biotic Man.”
“Oh, HIM! Go on then, give him a ring.”
“Are you saying that all we need is a giant blinking teabag?” inquired Lilac politely.
“Yeah, I think if you get the guage right on the net, it should work like a dream.”
“And what do we do with a giant teabag full of volcano dust?”
“Lava dust tea? Are you kidding? Sells like hotcakes in some dimensions. The bridge tarts are always smuggling it through portals.”
Suddenly it all became clear to Nasturtium. The Releasing of the Bird had gone awry with The Tampering of The Code. The giant invisible spider web tea bag that was to enclose all that annoying blubbit nonsense that was wreaking havoc all over Peasland had blinked out while nobody was focused on it.
Obviously, as any well versed bridge tart would know, it could just as easily blink back in.
Dealea Flare was usually one of the most accomplished bridge tarts, so it was a surprise to hear that she’d apparently disappeared whilst day tripping in the Neroli dimension.
The Peasland Natarteum was a sort of time travelling portello in the Elsespace Arrangement, staffed by bridge tarts. Just about everyone had focuses as bridge tarts, it was quite a group focus. They were always merging and shape shifting and what not, so it was hard to pin anyone down. Sometimes, however, it was rather obvious.
“There’s no other way” said Lilac. “We must bring in the Bridge Tarts.”
A collective gasp could be heard ricocheting around the valleys as the news travelled, gasp by gasp.
“Make the wind blow the other way!” suggested someone in the crowd.
“Yes! A west wind, blow it west!” piped up another.
“Wait!” shouted another. “That would be an east wind, not a west wind!”
“A westerly?”
“No, an easterly is what we want!”
“Let’s get this right, or we’ll have a fucking tornado” suggested Nasturtium grimly.
When Lilac had finished eating, she and Nasty considered the options. The first mission was to get the Peaslanders heads back, with or without Penelope, although it was hoped that Penelope, with her vast knowledge of Blubbit lavacology, would chaperone the heads back to the Peaslanders.
“The Fly Boat!” exclaimed Naturtium, who had just recieved an urgent transmission from the Daily Quote Dept. “We will initiate a Fly Boat mission.”
“What on earth are you doing?” asked Lilac.
“Whistling for aurora’s, silly” replied Nasturtium, commonly known as Nasty. “We did an energy pooling for auroras to come further south the other day, and I just heard from Petunia that they’ll come if we whistle. So I’m whistling!”
Lilac rolled her eyes and wandered off into the kitchen to put the kettle on. Nasturtium grinned when she heard Lilac whistling. Or was it the kettle?
“You know that bright aurora green?” Nasturtium said as Lilac returned with two steaming mugs of tea. “Well, my TV went that colour yesterday, green all over it was, bright green, just like the green of aurora’s.”
“I suppose you’ll be saying it was a personal visit from the aurora people” replied Lilac with a snort.
“Fish” said Raxie when asked what she would like for her Fragmentation Day lunch. Fish synchronicities had been sprouting up all over the plaice, sturgeoning you might say, if you were wanting to include the word burgeoning, burgeoning like the gnarly old grape vines waking up and unleashing green on the chalky hills.
“The synchronicities and connections were like individual blades of grass turning into a meadow, singing and sighing as one in the breezes,” Elizabeth replied.
“Well this is my own personal meadow” Raxie pointed out “These are all mine”.
“Oops”
“Who said that?”
“Was it that guy over there in the bowler hat and checkered past?”
“Don’t mention checkered pasts!” Elizabeth exclaimed, “Or the Ooh Dimension! You’ll open the sluice gates….”
“Antidisestablishmentarianism”
“Who said that?” Elizabeth and Raxie exclaimed together.
“I don’t know, but that guy in the bowler hat’s disappeared, and can you see that fellow starting to appear over there? Must be a multidimensional Port Hole or something…”
“Well, we know what a Froopish and fabulously magical place this is, so it stands to reason…”
“Reason?” Raxie and Elizabeth were reduced to giggles at the very idea of reason having any standing.
“A portal to the Froop dimension, here? Wow! Can I see?”
“You’ll have to wear these goggles. And it will require some stamina, are you sure?”
“Of course I’m bloody sure” replied Elizabeth tartly. And then she began to intuit something.
“I don’t need googles*, silly!” she laughed. “I already AM multidimensional, I don’t need anyone elses googles. But it’s ok if you want to wear the googles” she added, not wishing to sound judgemental.
“Actually, I like this amethyst crystal myself, I like the frequency. I have dreams of amethyst sometimes, they are a delight.”
“Come and look at this sunset if you want to see a delight,” said Raxie, who was still a bit miffed about the goggles. “Who needs another dimension when we’ve got this one?”
Elizabeth sighed with speechless awe at the spectacular sunset, a reflection of all her colours, and all her dear ones colours, all blended together with magic aqua and sparks of blue and tones of orange blossom.
looking text wondered blubbit (usually blubbits)
gone…
random…
far…. mention? sighed shar “direction peasland”“I think, and I am sure that Finn(ley) will agree, that what is needed for this fish(y) net is a new thread, or two or three” remarked Annabel to Finn(ley) in particular.
“It is merely a matter of being aware of yourself and your direction and what you want and what shall serve you most efficiently in your exploration within your focus. Which fork at your table shall be the most efficient to consume certain cuisines? Which utensil? Shall you eat Peaslanders with a knife or shall it be more expedient to incorporate a spoon? The knife is not bad, but it may be more difficult to consume your Peaslanders. And what is it that you want? To consume the Peaslanders.”
“Arona, it hasn’t made any sense for ages.” replied Yikesy sagely. “If you ask me, it’s time to start a new thread.”
