Reply To: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler

“Go and put the kettle on while I think about this,” Liz instructed Finnley.  “A vacation is not a bad idea.  A change of air would do us good.  Perhaps a nice self catering cottage somewhere in the country…”

“Self catering? And who might that self be that would be doing the catering for you, Liz?”

“I was only thinking of you!” retorted Liz, affronted. “You might get bored in a fancy hotel with nothing to dust!”

“Try me!” snapped Finnley.  “You think you know me inside out, don’t you, but I’m just a story character to you, aren’t I? You don’t know me at all! Just the idea you have of a cleaner! I can’t take it anymore!”

“Oh for god’s sake stop blubbering, Finnley, no need to be so dramatic. Where would you like to go?”

“OH, I don’t know, Somewhere sunny and warm, with mountains and beaches, and not too many tourists.”

“Hah! Anywhere nice and warm with mountains and beaches is going to be packed with tourists. If you want a nice quiet holiday with no tourists you’d have to go somewhere cold and horrid.” Liz sniffed. “Everywhere nice in the world is stuffed with tourists. I know! How about a staycation?  We can stay right here and you can make us a nice picnic every day to eat on the lawn.”

“Fuck off, Liz,” snapped Finnley.

“I say, there is no need to be rude! I could sack you for that!”

“Yes but you won’t. Nobody else would work for you, and you know it.”

“Yes well there is that,” Liz had to admit, sighing. “Well then, YOU choose somewhere. You decide. I am putty in your sweaty hands, willing to bend to your every whim. Just to keep the peace.”

Finnley rolled her eyes and went to put the kettle on. Where DID she want to go, she wondered?   And would a holiday with Liz be any holiday at all?