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  • #3336

    “Who the fuck stuck all these disgusting patches all over me?” Lisa shouted when she noticed them, and thus promptly forgot her dream. “Why have you gone so red in the face, Jack?”
    In an attempt to deflect the attention from himself, he countered: “Why were you standing on the table?”
    Lisa rose to the bait and replied that she was assessing the possibility of hanging the new map mannequin, the one that wouldn’t stand up on her own, from the beams on the kitchen ceiling.
    “I feel inspired to continue the map collage, now that I have an idea for where to put her when she’s finished.”
    Jack yawned, somewhat rudely.
    Lisa angrily pulled another patch off her left buttock. “You better be wondering what’s in your dinner later, Jack.” she said ominously.

    #3296
    EricEric
    Keymaster

      “Mission’s a success, your island awaits”

      This time, the Management’s message seemed strangely clear, and Irina didn’t care to decipher it, in case it meant something else completely. The idea of the island was all she needed at the time.

      “A simple Congratulations! wouldn’t have hurt them”, she was a bit disappointed, after all the efforts, but for now, an illegally staffed island was as good as that.

      “Mr R, pack our things, we are retiring!”
      “Very well Madam. Meaning no disrespect Madam, but is retirement an appropriate word Madam?”
      She quizzically raised her eyebrow, to which, right on cue, the robot continued
      “Madam is much too young to retire.”
      She sighed, affecting a pose. “Well, I know. But this 2222 isn’t really all the fuss they’re making about it”
      “I would agree with Madam, Madam always has the most astute perception.”
      “Well, thank you Mr R.” she giggled happily.

      She sniffed suspiciously at the air around “Did you have ambergris for dinner Mr R?”

      #2955
      EricEric
      Keymaster

        While stroking his mustache fondly, Ed Steam had the clearest realization that although he’d done that quite a few times in the past mostly to his advantage, it was a lot of work to rewrite timelines and figure out the hows and whens of everyone in his team.
        Maybe it was actually time for him to restore the original timeline while disappearing — by faking his own death to be certain nobody would thwart his carefully thought retirement plan. Then, he could also stop dyeing his mustache he figured… So many things to take care of, retirement would be so sweet.
        Although the Egyptian timeturner gave him all the time in the world, he actually felt like he’d lost already a great deal too much of it, and started to enact his plan without further ado.

        Procuring a body double was actually not so hard. The last surge had brought a few of them in Thrifteen’s Alley in their Moreguest Facility. A switch and a twist of the pocket portal and a zap and a blink of the miniaturizer was enough to get there and come back in seconds with a frozen pocket-size life-suspended body from the testing stock, with convincing enough miniaturized slim lips, safely put in a test tube in his waistcoat pocket.
        A six-shot cudgel from his artefact war trove was all he needed to make sure the amateur assassin in red robes they’d hired would be taken care of easily.
        Then, an enscombulator bedazzler ray spray would be enough to convince Mari Fe she’d managed to hit him, buying him time enough to then deminiaturize the thawed slim-lipped body double, to slip in his stead.
        Last, but not least, he would then have a few seconds to discombobulize Mari Fe while disappearing with a backup transportable portal. The plan was perfect. The original timeline restored in pristine conditions.
        Only for a few minor details of course. He’d almost forgotten to reprogram the mini-man in his pocket with enough memories for him to be a convincing Ed-himself sans la moustache of course. At least, for the short time he would survive (surge victims discovered still alive were placed in life suspension by the team, but this was mostly for medical analysis as they usually wouldn’t survive their conditions).
        Oh, and the bloody mustache of course… A squeeze of foolicle solventilator would be enough to make it temporarily invisible.

        Simple enough… Well, sandbagging Mari Fe would have probably conveyed similar results with minimal efforts, although the elegance of his plan, as well as the fact that he was loath to hit ladies did unmistakably weight in favour of it.

        And with that, he would be back in time for dinner.
        In fact, he already was.

        #2874
        EricEric
        Keymaster

          Fleur reluctantly put her welcome dinner in Balzac as little as possible in the kitchen.

          What shall I HHMMM. No, too much idea. A big easy, with a few jelly beans for the kitchen boy. and fetch those funny big caves. (ID #608)

          #2407

          Peanelope smiled serenely as she gazed at the heads of her loved ones.

          “Oh Pixel,” she said, “Is that dust on your eyelid?”

          Chuckling to herself she ran her dusting cloth over his face, relishing the control she now had over her dear ones. One of her greatest pleasures was rearranging them on the mantelpiece. Sometimes, if her mood was poor, or she had one of her many men friends visiting, she would make them face the wall. At dinner time she would place them around the table, each head propped up on a large pile of Pee’s precious encyclopeadias.

          “More blubbit stew, Pee?” she asked.

          #2647

          In reply to: Strings of Nines

          When Yikes had first asked Arona, when he was like 6 or 7 years old if he had a father, Arona had brushed the question aside with a roll of an eye, and an annoyed flicker of the other.

          “Of course you have, little pooh…”

          It was glaringly obvious that the little Ugling wasn’t bearing any likeness with her handsome model Vincentius, so she didn’t mock the little guy’s intelligence by asking why he was even inquiring of such a thing.
          And for a few years, telling him the story of how he was given to her by the dwarf Palani was enough to calm the torrent of his questions.

          Later though, as he was gaining strength and other skills taught to him by Vincentius, who was ever patient and dedicated to the well-being of Arona and the child, his questions became an obsession, and he took upon himself to discover the truth he could feel was wrapped in fantasy and nonsense —or at least, not told completely.

          Perhaps it was an indiscretion of a glukenitch found in the many caves there were nearby their home, nobody knew for certain. (Glukenitches sharing one mind, they knew many of the secrets of the caves they sometimes deigned to share with strangers…) anyway, nobody knew for certain, but he found out about the mysterious Sanso, and how he became ‘acquainted’ with Arona (whom Yikes had never called but by her first name).

          Yikes was now in his teen years, and wanted more than ever to meet Sanso, although he never quite revealed that secret plan least it would upset the loving and caring Arona. He had to find someone to help him in his research, but where they lived, encounters were scarce.

          One day, a young woman he’d never met before went to see Arona. They were friends apparently, and he overheard Arona call her Salome, while they were discussing about lots of people, whose names he mostly didn’t know. He was feeling uncomfortable around nice ladies, and almost didn’t show up for dinner. However, an embarrassed silence and a sideway glance as a certain “he” was being inquired about by Arona raised his ears, and he took upon himself to try to learn more from the lady.
          So when she left, he followed her to the entrance of one of the nearby caves, and showed up —apparently without surprising the lady called Salome. She was well aware of his presence, and of his desire to find Sanso.
          “The man defies logic,” she then warned Yikes “and you need a riddle outside of logic to catch him and his attention.”
          That was almost all of what she said before disappearing into the damp cave’s tunnel. That and… “no need to beat a dead cow.”

          Yikes had pondered that for days, without success.
          Until the illumination came: all he had to do was become the hunter, and bait his prey.
          For that, he would kill the fatted calf, to welcome the return of the prodigal father.

          And put his bait near the tunnels near the realms from whence he roamed aimlessly.

          #2778
          F LoveF Love
          Participant

            The myopic Finnley DIDN’T wear fishnet stockings.

            Unable to resist the library, and in a tutu, he was just hoping that he did the right thing in sending the staff before dinner to the stables.

            Finnley, in the library, before dinner, waited.

            “Damn it!” Finnley muttered. “I can’t do it alone”.

            A master in karate, a surge of adrenaline overflowed his mind and all he remembered was he was bald.

            NOTE : Well. By the time I took out all the pornographic stuff there wasn’t much left to work with. :yahoo_nerd:

            #2511

            In reply to: Strings of Nines

            “Jeeze, the little brats have almost ruined all our naggin plants looking for the darn eggletons!” Shar was seating outside sipping her cup of tea while conversing with her old friend Glor.
            “I was about to tell you the same Shar!… Yer niece and nephew… Holly Molly…”
            “Niece and nephew… The nephewer the merrier if you ask me”
            “As if we not got enough with the does from the forest comin’ for food in our plantations!”
            “Want to see them comin’ near our crops those!”
            “Oh no, not our crops!” Glor recoiled in horror.
            “Stupid does… Better for ‘em not come close when I’m ‘ere, or we’ll have to learn how to cook haunch!”
            “Wouldn’t have your hump for dinner!”
            “Not hump,… haunch, silly! Wouldn’t be so good anyway stuffed with lead pellets…” Shar lost her trail of thought in remembrance of her past hunting skills.

            A sudden crack in the nearby potting shed raised the ample bottom of the one named Glor in alarm.

            #1154

            “Wow, it’s big…” Theresa was raptured by the sheer size of it. “I’m not sure I can maneuver it on my own…”

            “Yep. A shame the bloddy rabbits ate half of it…” Phlynn answered nonplussed.

            “Oh, it’s still the biggest butternut squash I’ve seen in a while… We shall have it for dinner.”

            #1151
            EricEric
            Keymaster

              Tina leaned back on her rocking chair, and ogled with an eye of pity Al who was trimming one of the plants.

              What?
              Oh nothing, Tina sighed… are we gonna eat any fruit from those, or shall I throw them in the bin?
              Oh, there’s good hope we can soon have a cherry tomato wrapped in a leaf of coriander for our dinner sweetie.
              You and your miniature cultures… She finally rolled her eyes. During Al’s trip in the Floridisles, by a strange series of nearly miraculous coincidences, the plants had stayed intact. She hadn’t watered them for the two weeks, but apparently it had not displeased them.

              Al had told her the funny story of his grand-father watering his wife’s precious flowers during her absence with gallons of water, and literally drowning them in love.
              She had not smiled. “Maybe I’m drowning people in my love too, they tend to get soggy these days…”
              So perhaps her lack of attention had been a blessing for the tinsy artsy plantsaïs

              What did they have for dinner last time? A puny ratatouille made with courgettes the size of her fingers. First time she’d wished she had bigger fingers. Nah… Al, you got to understand, people aren’t ready for nano-biotics…

              #1088
              TracyTracy
              Participant

                “That sinister Finnley had plans to do away with Sir Hector, in the library, before dinner.”

                “Perhaps I should amend that entry”, Becky mused.

                “What’s that you said, Sugar Plum?” asked Gayesh, nuzzling her ear.

                “Oh bugger off, Gayesh, can’t you see I’m busy?” Becky snapped, moving her chair away from the amourous doctor. “I have to attend to this before it all gets changed. Now shut up and back off.”

                The unflappable Gayesh smiled, and poured the powdery contents of a vial into her drink, and waited.

                #1087
                TracyTracy
                Participant

                  Phlynn was late. “You just can’t get the staff these days” grumbled T’Eggy. Where was the dratted man? All she wanted was a quick leg-over before dinner, and now that Hector wasn’t coming after all, she could have spent more time with Phlynn.

                  Unbeknownst to T’Eggy, Phylnn was in the stables, struggling into his pistachio green jewel studded sari. He was late for the rendezvous in the library, and in his haste to don the disguise of a sultry voluptuous sultana, the endless yards of fabric wrapped around his long legs in a hopeless tangle.

                  #1080
                  TracyTracy
                  Participant

                    That sinister Finnley had plans to do away with Sir Hector, in the library, before dinner.

                    #1079
                    TracyTracy
                    Participant

                      Hahahahahah laughed Becky. Oh hahahahaah, there’s been another probability mix-up. Is Hector coming for dinner, or not? PLEASE don’t tell me it’s a clone…..

                      #1078
                      TracyTracy
                      Participant

                        T’Eggy jumped and quickly shoved the mysterious watermelon rind into her pocket as Finnley’s silouette appeared in the doorway.

                        “Lady T’Egg, Sir Coon sends his apologies and wishes to inform you that he has been called unexpectedly away and will no longer be able to join you for dinner this evening” the butler ceremoniously announced. T’Eggy noticed Finnley’s eyes on her bulging pocket, somewhat inappropriately, she thought. Her previous butler, Harring, had been much more discrete. There was something fishy about Finnley. T’Eggy couldn’t put her finger on it — Finnley appeared to be the perfect butler ~ his credentials were impeccable — but there was more to him than met the eye, of that she was sure.

                        “Would M’Lady like dinner brought out to the… ahem… Potting Shed?” asked Finnley, raising an eyebrow disdainfully.

                        “Don’t be silly” snapped T’Eggy. “When I’m done here with Phlynn the gamekeeper, I’ll come in for dinner.”

                        #913
                        AvatarJib
                        Participant

                          The afternoon was hot, a bit moist and sticky too. Yurick and Yann were enjoying the freshness of Dory’s patio.
                          Cold lemon drink in cocktail glasses, the radio playing some sun related song.
                          Dan was out playing golf with friends and would be here for dinner.
                          Dory, dozing on her rocking chair had told Yurick and Yann that they could use their computers, they had 2 of them, so Yurick could take Dory’s and Yann could take Dan’s. Yurick was busy checking his mails and answering all those who had submitted some article for the next issue of their e-zine, and Yann wanted some distraction. He was just looking at some pictures on Gurgle, some movies on Yootune. Some of them were cracking him up, and he had difficulties keeping his :-| face serious.
                          At the same time he was browsing through Dan’s pictures folders. Some of them were really amazing. Pictures of Dory on the field, with her pith helmet and her brushes, her shovels or even her pick. She was very funny looking when she was finding something seemingly out of nowhere, having dug all day long with no result and then finally some treasure! Often, Yann thought, it was only some fragment of a vase or some broken tool, but she always had this awe-inspired gaze ;))

                          What is the name of this singer again?, asked Yurick.
                          You ask me?

                          The grin on Yurick’s face was all that Yann was waiting for. Yann had no memory of names of singers or actors. Their face, once he had seen it were recorded in his mind, but their name was like a summer breeze, refreshing, but soon forgotten. He knew that Yurick was more asking that to himself.

                          Dunno me luv. You can ask the mummy in the living room if you want…
                          Hahaha, graowl

                          Hehehe. Funny that, thought Yann. Coming back to the computer screen, his eyes fall on a strange folder name.
                          Patate? What’s that!?
                          Double-click.
                          Just a few files. Videos mainly. The names weren’t very evocative…
                          Yann picked one and waited for the movie to begin.
                          It was kind of black and white movie… the grain was gross and old fashioned. There was no audio.
                          Yann had an old memory of a similar movie seen on the comodor computer of his cousin’s parents… his cousin had told him about some weird movie he had found in a floppy disk of his father…
                          So, there was a man, maybe in his 60’s, he was wearing a gray bathing suit and was a bit hairy. Drinking some kind of grey cocktail.
                          A girl came in… with an amazing leopard baby-doll!!! from what Yann could see, she was blond and fleshy. Oh! and she had some friends. All of them with a leo-part on them :-?

                          Ahem! Yurick? Wanna see what I found?
                          Hmmm
                          I’m sure you’ll find some interest :)) hahaha! Oh my Flove! She’s really doing it!?
                          =))

                          Seeing his friend hilarious picked the curiosity of Yurick and he eventually came to see. The look on his face when he saw what was happening was too much for Yann who burst into laughter. That was enough to wake Dory who almost fell off her rocked chair.

                          What is that? Where did you find that… thing? Dory looked offended, but soon she was blushing.
                          Oh! no… don’t look at that. It was a youthful mistake…

                          #857
                          TracyTracy
                          Participant

                            Another probable Becky hit send on her computer, and grinned wickedly. She had amused herself greatly writing her new storyline for the Reality Play, it had taken her mind off her cold.

                            Becky wandered into the kitchen where Sean was clearing up after dinner and gave him a kiss. That rhubarb crumble was delicious darling, wherever did you learn to cook like that!

                            Aha, replied Sean, It’s a secret recipe of Manon’s, she made me swear not to tell anyone. The secret, he continued, and dropped his voice to an enigmatic whisper, The secret is the groiselles.

                            Sean picked up the empty crumble dish to put it in the dishwasher, revealing a handwritten note that had been underneath it.

                            Sean recognized Becky’s handwriting, and smiled fondly at her. Oh, what have we here! he said, and started to read. Becky was frowning, perplexed. She hadn’t written a note to Sean in THIS probability!

                            #1434
                            F LoveF Love
                            Participant

                              :beer:
                              sitting here having a drink by myself …

                              NUF – I know we said this one already but I quite like it
                              NUFF – Not Unother Freakin Focus
                              EPIC – misspelling of Eric or alternatively ENERGY PLAYING IN COLLABORATION – well a hard word to live up to though.
                              SPOD – means nothing, just like the sound of it … oh no hang on it does mean something :yahoo_nerd:
                              LOONAR – I am channeling Finnley now

                              :face-plain:

                              might go home and cook dinner (spuds) instead …

                              #1730

                              In reply to: Synchronicity

                              F LoveF Love
                              Participant

                                Two funny number plate interactions this morning on my walk .. my mind drifts all over the place when i am walking, I started thinking about the story and the latest entry from Eric on the Ooh dimension. I looked up and noticed a car going past at that moment .. numberplate POOTY

                                The numberplate thing intrigues me, sometimes they seem so specific to my thoughts and often they seem to reflect interactions happening in the story and with you guys. On my trip to Auckland there were periods I felt this connection strongly, TEENA1, EGG555, numerous 57s, 23’s and 53’s etc …. although again it was the timing and interaction with my thoughts which felt the significant things. Three cafes in a row I was given the number “12”, the fourth I was not given a number but I noticed the lady at the table next to me had the ’12”.

                                The next numberplate which jumped out at me this morning was ALQ823, this was following POOTY

                                :fleuron:

                                While I was away I had found myself in a big book barn with sale books. I had just a few moments and decided on impulse it would be good to have a book. I picked up two books at random and skimmed the back covers. One of the books had main characters Gabriel and Maya. I relate to Maya as being another form of the name May and Gabriel of course being the Arch-Agent introduced on Tikijkoo (sp?) Island recently. All the other books seemed to be reduced to $9.99, this one was reduced to $5 (fun), well i thought i could not go far wrong at that price.

                                some more on this soon … i have to get dinner :chomping:

                                #622

                                Somewhere during the 23 rd century

                                “aaa AAAA AAAAA Tcheeeew !”

                                “Hiiiiii?! Oh Fracking NOOOoooo!”

                                The shriek had been heard in the whole facility.

                                Phefia Beryl was the first on the spot where Vinya Grey had been playing so exuberantly with her vocal chords.

                                — Vinnie? Are you alright?… What just happened?
                                — Oh, Pheffy… I think I made an awful blunder…
                                — What do you mean?
                                — You know, my last experiment?
                                — The g…
                                — Yes!
                                — What?!
                                — They poofed away…
                                — Away?… You mean, all of them? Oh bugger…

                                :fleuron:

                                A few minutes later, Vinya and Phefia were around a white table sucking on straws picked into white and red polystyrenoid balls.

                                — Vinnie, you look terrible… That last geomagnetic storm had not done very good on your DNA I’m afraid.
                                — And the worse is that each time I sneeze, I blow up wormholes… I thought it would go better very quickly, but last one was big and lasted long enough to let the whole experimental herd wander off in another time/space and/or dimension…
                                — Yeah, that’s pretty bad… But wherever they went, they probably will die very soon… Imagine… With their stiff legs anytime they see something frightening, I guess a mere mapgie could easily have them for dinner…
                                — Such a pity… I was close to doing something great with them… When we discovered these fossilized blue spiders, I knew it was the first step.
                                — Bwah, this rehydrated frogrog is the grossest thing I’ve ever drunk… But yeah you’re right, the first results were very promising. The spiders venom could provoke very random and deep mutations.
                                — And all we needed was a little more control on the direction of the mutations.
                                — Anyway they’re just goats… You possibly can’t have breached a cosmic law with a handful of GOATS
                                — Hope so Pheffy, hope so…

                                :fleuron2:

                                San Demangelo, 1848

                                Elroy was laughing… Hey Joe, Twi! he shouted A letter from Uncle Ernie!

                                — Uncle Ernie? How’s the old bat doin’? asked Twilight
                                — He’s sending his greetings for the new year, and babbling about last dead people in the neighborhood. But there’s something funny. He’s saying that he’d just acquired some funny goats. Like popped in, out of nowhere. At first he’d thought of a joke, but apparently no one’s been claiming them. He’d thought them dead, they were a dozen laying stiff on the ground, but when they started to wake up, they went down again like broken dolls. Apparently the magpies on top of the tree had been scaring them. Ahaha… Where does he get such strange stories…
                                — Well, magpies are scarey, Twilight said meaningfully, with a side glance at Joe
                                — Whatever… At least he’d been giving us a good laugh. He’s saying he’s gonna breed the horny beasts, and start a Fainting Goat Fair (or FGF) in Marshall County. Perhaps we could get there next Thanksgiving…
                                — Depends when the Freak Show’s coming to town, mused Twilight, I hope to see them soon…

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