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    TracyTracy
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      From Tanganyika with Love

      continued

      With thanks to Mike Rushby.

      Mchewe Estate. 11th July 1931.

      Dearest Family,

      You say that you would like to know more about our neighbours. Well there is
      not much to tell. Kath Wood is very good about coming over to see me. I admire her
      very much because she is so capable as well as being attractive. She speaks very
      fluent Ki-Swahili and I envy her the way she can carry on a long conversation with the
      natives. I am very slow in learning the language possibly because Lamek and the
      houseboy both speak basic English.

      I have very little to do with the Africans apart from the house servants, but I do
      run a sort of clinic for the wives and children of our employees. The children suffer chiefly
      from sore eyes and worms, and the older ones often have bad ulcers on their legs. All
      farmers keep a stock of drugs and bandages.

      George also does a bit of surgery and last month sewed up the sole of the foot
      of a boy who had trodden on the blade of a panga, a sort of sword the Africans use for
      hacking down bush. He made an excellent job of it. George tells me that the Africans
      have wonderful powers of recuperation. Once in his bachelor days, one of his men was
      disembowelled by an elephant. George washed his “guts” in a weak solution of
      pot.permang, put them back in the cavity and sewed up the torn flesh and he
      recovered.

      But to get back to the neighbours. We see less of Hicky Wood than of Kath.
      Hicky can be charming but is often moody as I believe Irishmen often are.
      Major Jones is now at home on his shamba, which he leaves from time to time
      for temporary jobs on the district roads. He walks across fairly regularly and we are
      always glad to see him for he is a great bearer of news. In this part of Africa there is no
      knocking or ringing of doorbells. Front doors are always left open and visitors always
      welcome. When a visitor approaches a house he shouts “Hodi”, and the owner of the
      house yells “Karibu”, which I believe means “Come near” or approach, and tea is
      produced in a matter of minutes no matter what hour of the day it is.
      The road that passes all our farms is the only road to the Gold Diggings and
      diggers often drop in on the Woods and Major Jones and bring news of the Goldfields.
      This news is sometimes about gold but quite often about whose wife is living with
      whom. This is a great country for gossip.

      Major Jones now has his brother Llewyllen living with him. I drove across with
      George to be introduced to him. Llewyllen’s health is poor and he looks much older than
      his years and very like the portrait of Trader Horn. He has the same emaciated features,
      burning eyes and long beard. He is proud of his Welsh tenor voice and often bursts into
      song.

      Both brothers are excellent conversationalists and George enjoys walking over
      sometimes on a Sunday for a bit of masculine company. The other day when George
      walked across to visit the Joneses, he found both brothers in the shamba and Llew in a
      great rage. They had been stooping to inspect a water furrow when Llew backed into a
      hornets nest. One furious hornet stung him on the seat and another on the back of his
      neck. Llew leapt forward and somehow his false teeth shot out into the furrow and were
      carried along by the water. When George arrived Llew had retrieved his teeth but
      George swears that, in the commotion, the heavy leather leggings, which Llew always
      wears, had swivelled around on his thin legs and were calves to the front.
      George has heard that Major Jones is to sell pert of his land to his Swedish brother-in-law, Max Coster, so we will soon have another couple in the neighbourhood.

      I’ve had a bit of a pantomime here on the farm. On the day we went to Tukuyu,
      all our washing was stolen from the clothes line and also our new charcoal iron. George
      reported the matter to the police and they sent out a plain clothes policeman. He wears
      the long white Arab gown called a Kanzu much in vogue here amongst the African elite
      but, alas for secrecy, huge black police boots protrude from beneath the Kanzu and, to
      add to this revealing clue, the askari springs to attention and salutes each time I pass by.
      Not much hope of finding out the identity of the thief I fear.

      George’s furrow was entirely successful and we now have water running behind
      the kitchen. Our drinking water we get from a lovely little spring on the farm. We boil and
      filter it for safety’s sake. I don’t think that is necessary. The furrow water is used for
      washing pots and pans and for bath water.

      Lots of love,
      Eleanor

      Mchewe Estate. 8th. August 1931

      Dearest Family,

      I think it is about time I told you that we are going to have a baby. We are both
      thrilled about it. I have not seen a Doctor but feel very well and you are not to worry. I
      looked it up in my handbook for wives and reckon that the baby is due about February
      8th. next year.

      The announcement came from George, not me! I had been feeling queasy for
      days and was waiting for the right moment to tell George. You know. Soft lights and
      music etc. However when I was listlessly poking my food around one lunch time
      George enquired calmly, “When are you going to tell me about the baby?” Not at all
      according to the book! The problem is where to have the baby. February is a very wet
      month and the nearest Doctor is over 50 miles away at Tukuyu. I cannot go to stay at
      Tukuyu because there is no European accommodation at the hospital, no hotel and no
      friend with whom I could stay.

      George thinks I should go South to you but Capetown is so very far away and I
      love my little home here. Also George says he could not come all the way down with
      me as he simply must stay here and get the farm on its feet. He would drive me as far
      as the railway in Northern Rhodesia. It is a difficult decision to take. Write and tell me what
      you think.

      The days tick by quietly here. The servants are very willing but have to be
      supervised and even then a crisis can occur. Last Saturday I was feeling squeamish and
      decided not to have lunch. I lay reading on the couch whilst George sat down to a
      solitary curry lunch. Suddenly he gave an exclamation and pushed back his chair. I
      jumped up to see what was wrong and there, on his plate, gleaming in the curry gravy
      were small bits of broken glass. I hurried to the kitchen to confront Lamek with the plate.
      He explained that he had dropped the new and expensive bottle of curry powder on
      the brick floor of the kitchen. He did not tell me as he thought I would make a “shauri” so
      he simply scooped up the curry powder, removed the larger pieces of glass and used
      part of the powder for seasoning the lunch.

      The weather is getting warmer now. It was very cold in June and July and we had
      fires in the daytime as well as at night. Now that much of the land has been cleared we
      are able to go for pleasant walks in the weekends. My favourite spot is a waterfall on the
      Mchewe River just on the boundary of our land. There is a delightful little pool below the
      waterfall and one day George intends to stock it with trout.

      Now that there are more Europeans around to buy meat the natives find it worth
      their while to kill an occasional beast. Every now and again a native arrives with a large
      bowl of freshly killed beef for sale. One has no way of knowing whether the animal was
      healthy and the meat is often still warm and very bloody. I hated handling it at first but am
      becoming accustomed to it now and have even started a brine tub. There is no other
      way of keeping meat here and it can only be kept in its raw state for a few hours before
      going bad. One of the delicacies is the hump which all African cattle have. When corned
      it is like the best brisket.

      See what a housewife I am becoming.
      With much love,
      Eleanor.

      Mchewe Estate. Sept.6th. 1931

      Dearest Family,

      I have grown to love the life here and am sad to think I shall be leaving
      Tanganyika soon for several months. Yes I am coming down to have the baby in the
      bosom of the family. George thinks it best and so does the doctor. I didn’t mention it
      before but I have never recovered fully from the effects of that bad bout of malaria and
      so I have been persuaded to leave George and our home and go to the Cape, in the
      hope that I shall come back here as fit as when I first arrived in the country plus a really
      healthy and bouncing baby. I am torn two ways, I long to see you all – but how I would
      love to stay on here.

      George will drive me down to Northern Rhodesia in early October to catch a
      South bound train. I’ll telegraph the date of departure when I know it myself. The road is
      very, very bad and the car has been giving a good deal of trouble so, though the baby
      is not due until early February, George thinks it best to get the journey over soon as
      possible, for the rains break in November and the the roads will then be impassable. It
      may take us five or six days to reach Broken Hill as we will take it slowly. I am looking
      forward to the drive through new country and to camping out at night.
      Our days pass quietly by. George is out on the shamba most of the day. He
      goes out before breakfast on weekdays and spends most of the day working with the
      men – not only supervising but actually working with his hands and beating the labourers
      at their own jobs. He comes to the house for meals and tea breaks. I potter around the
      house and garden, sew, mend and read. Lamek continues to be a treasure. he turns out
      some surprising dishes. One of his specialities is stuffed chicken. He carefully skins the
      chicken removing all bones. He then minces all the chicken meat and adds minced onion
      and potatoes. He then stuffs the chicken skin with the minced meat and carefully sews it
      together again. The resulting dish is very filling because the boned chicken is twice the
      size of a normal one. It lies on its back as round as a football with bloated legs in the air.
      Rather repulsive to look at but Lamek is most proud of his accomplishment.
      The other day he produced another of his masterpieces – a cooked tortoise. It
      was served on a dish covered with parsley and crouched there sans shell but, only too
      obviously, a tortoise. I took one look and fled with heaving diaphragm, but George said
      it tasted quite good. He tells me that he has had queerer dishes produced by former
      cooks. He says that once in his hunting days his cook served up a skinned baby
      monkey with its hands folded on its breast. He says it would take a cannibal to eat that
      dish.

      And now for something sad. Poor old Llew died quite suddenly and it was a sad
      shock to this tiny community. We went across to the funeral and it was a very simple and
      dignified affair. Llew was buried on Joni’s farm in a grave dug by the farm boys. The
      body was wrapped in a blanket and bound to some boards and lowered into the
      ground. There was no service. The men just said “Good-bye Llew.” and “Sleep well
      Llew”, and things like that. Then Joni and his brother-in-law Max, and George shovelled
      soil over the body after which the grave was filled in by Joni’s shamba boys. It was a
      lovely bright afternoon and I thought how simple and sensible a funeral it was.
      I hope you will be glad to have me home. I bet Dad will be holding thumbs that
      the baby will be a girl.

      Very much love,
      Eleanor.

      Note
      “There are no letters to my family during the period of Sept. 1931 to June 1932
      because during these months I was living with my parents and sister in a suburb of
      Cape Town. I had hoped to return to Tanganyika by air with my baby soon after her
      birth in Feb.1932 but the doctor would not permit this.

      A month before my baby was born, a company called Imperial Airways, had
      started the first passenger service between South Africa and England. One of the night
      stops was at Mbeya near my husband’s coffee farm, and it was my intention to take the
      train to Broken Hill in Northern Rhodesia and to fly from there to Mbeya with my month
      old baby. In those days however, commercial flying was still a novelty and the doctor
      was not sure that flying at a high altitude might not have an adverse effect upon a young
      baby.

      He strongly advised me to wait until the baby was four months old and I did this
      though the long wait was very trying to my husband alone on our farm in Tanganyika,
      and to me, cherished though I was in my old home.

      My story, covering those nine long months is soon told. My husband drove me
      down from Mbeya to Broken Hill in NorthernRhodesia. The journey was tedious as the
      weather was very hot and dry and the road sandy and rutted, very different from the
      Great North road as it is today. The wooden wheel spokes of the car became so dry
      that they rattled and George had to bind wet rags around them. We had several
      punctures and with one thing and another I was lucky to catch the train.
      My parents were at Cape Town station to welcome me and I stayed
      comfortably with them, living very quietly, until my baby was born. She arrived exactly
      on the appointed day, Feb.8th.

      I wrote to my husband “Our Charmian Ann is a darling baby. She is very fair and
      rather pale and has the most exquisite hands, with long tapering fingers. Daddy
      absolutely dotes on her and so would you, if you were here. I can’t bear to think that you
      are so terribly far away. Although Ann was born exactly on the day, I was taken quite by
      surprise. It was awfully hot on the night before, and before going to bed I had a fancy for
      some water melon. The result was that when I woke in the early morning with labour
      pains and vomiting I thought it was just an attack of indigestion due to eating too much
      melon. The result was that I did not wake Marjorie until the pains were pretty frequent.
      She called our next door neighbour who, in his pyjamas, drove me to the nursing home
      at breakneck speed. The Matron was very peeved that I had left things so late but all
      went well and by nine o’clock, Mother, positively twittering with delight, was allowed to
      see me and her first granddaughter . She told me that poor Dad was in such a state of
      nerves that he was sick amongst the grapevines. He says that he could not bear to go
      through such an anxious time again, — so we will have to have our next eleven in
      Tanganyika!”

      The next four months passed rapidly as my time was taken up by the demands
      of my new baby. Dr. Trudy King’s method of rearing babies was then the vogue and I
      stuck fanatically to all the rules he laid down, to the intense exasperation of my parents
      who longed to cuddle the child.

      As the time of departure drew near my parents became more and more reluctant
      to allow me to face the journey alone with their adored grandchild, so my brother,
      Graham, very generously offered to escort us on the train to Broken Hill where he could
      put us on the plane for Mbeya.

      Eleanor Rushby

       

      Mchewe Estate. June 15th 1932

      Dearest Family,

      You’ll be glad to know that we arrived quite safe and sound and very, very
      happy to be home.The train Journey was uneventful. Ann slept nearly all the way.
      Graham was very kind and saw to everything. He even sat with the baby whilst I went
      to meals in the dining car.

      We were met at Broken Hill by the Thoms who had arranged accommodation for
      us at the hotel for the night. They also drove us to the aerodrome in the morning where
      the Airways agent told us that Ann is the first baby to travel by air on this section of the
      Cape to England route. The plane trip was very bumpy indeed especially between
      Broken Hill and Mpika. Everyone was ill including poor little Ann who sicked up her milk
      all over the front of my new coat. I arrived at Mbeya looking a sorry caricature of Radiant
      Motherhood. I must have been pale green and the baby was snow white. Under the
      circumstances it was a good thing that George did not meet us. We were met instead
      by Ken Menzies, the owner of the Mbeya Hotel where we spent the night. Ken was
      most fatherly and kind and a good nights rest restored Ann and me to our usual robust
      health.

      Mbeya has greatly changed. The hotel is now finished and can accommodate
      fifty guests. It consists of a large main building housing a large bar and dining room and
      offices and a number of small cottage bedrooms. It even has electric light. There are
      several buildings out at the aerodrome and private houses going up in Mbeya.
      After breakfast Ken Menzies drove us out to the farm where we had a warm
      welcome from George, who looks well but rather thin. The house was spotless and the
      new cook, Abel, had made light scones for tea. George had prepared all sorts of lovely
      surprises. There is a new reed ceiling in the living room and a new dresser gay with
      willow pattern plates which he had ordered from England. There is also a writing table
      and a square table by the door for visitors hats. More personal is a lovely model ship
      which George assembled from one of those Hobbie’s kits. It puts the finishing touch to
      the rather old world air of our living room.

      In the bedroom there is a large double bed which George made himself. It has
      strips of old car tyres nailed to a frame which makes a fine springy mattress and on top
      of this is a thick mattress of kapok.In the kitchen there is a good wood stove which
      George salvaged from a Mission dump. It looks a bit battered but works very well. The
      new cook is excellent. The only blight is that he will wear rubber soled tennis shoes and
      they smell awful. I daren’t hurt his feelings by pointing this out though. Opposite the
      kitchen is a new laundry building containing a forty gallon hot water drum and a sink for
      washing up. Lovely!

      George has been working very hard. He now has forty acres of coffee seedlings
      planted out and has also found time to plant a rose garden and fruit trees. There are
      orange and peach trees, tree tomatoes, paw paws, guavas and berries. He absolutely
      adores Ann who has been very good and does not seem at all unsettled by the long
      journey.

      It is absolutely heavenly to be back and I shall be happier than ever now that I
      have a baby to play with during the long hours when George is busy on the farm,
      Thank you for all your love and care during the many months I was with you. Ann
      sends a special bubble for granddad.

      Your very loving,
      Eleanor.

      Mchewe Estate Mbeya July 18th 1932

      Dearest Family,

      Ann at five months is enchanting. She is a very good baby, smiles readily and is
      gaining weight steadily. She doesn’t sleep much during the day but that does not
      matter, because, apart from washing her little things, I have nothing to do but attend to
      her. She sleeps very well at night which is a blessing as George has to get up very
      early to start work on the shamba and needs a good nights rest.
      My nights are not so good, because we are having a plague of rats which frisk
      around in the bedroom at night. Great big ones that come up out of the long grass in the
      gorge beside the house and make cosy homes on our reed ceiling and in the thatch of
      the roof.

      We always have a night light burning so that, if necessary, I can attend to Ann
      with a minimum of fuss, and the things I see in that dim light! There are gaps between
      the reeds and one night I heard, plop! and there, before my horrified gaze, lay a newly
      born hairless baby rat on the floor by the bed, plop, plop! and there lay two more.
      Quite dead, poor things – but what a careless mother.

      I have also seen rats scampering around on the tops of the mosquito nets and
      sometimes we have them on our bed. They have a lovely game. They swarm down
      the cord from which the mosquito net is suspended, leap onto the bed and onto the
      floor. We do not have our net down now the cold season is here and there are few
      mosquitoes.

      Last week a rat crept under Ann’s net which hung to the floor and bit her little
      finger, so now I tuck the net in under the mattress though it makes it difficult for me to
      attend to her at night. We shall have to get a cat somewhere. Ann’s pram has not yet
      arrived so George carries her when we go walking – to her great content.
      The native women around here are most interested in Ann. They come to see
      her, bearing small gifts, and usually bring a child or two with them. They admire my child
      and I admire theirs and there is an exchange of gifts. They produce a couple of eggs or
      a few bananas or perhaps a skinny fowl and I hand over sugar, salt or soap as they
      value these commodities. The most lavish gift went to the wife of Thomas our headman,
      who produced twin daughters in the same week as I had Ann.

      Our neighbours have all been across to welcome me back and to admire the
      baby. These include Marion Coster who came out to join her husband whilst I was in
      South Africa. The two Hickson-Wood children came over on a fat old white donkey.
      They made a pretty picture sitting astride, one behind the other – Maureen with her arms
      around small Michael’s waist. A native toto led the donkey and the children’ s ayah
      walked beside it.

      It is quite cold here now but the sun is bright and the air dry. The whole
      countryside is beautifully green and we are a very happy little family.

      Lots and lots of love,
      Eleanor.

      Mchewe Estate August 11th 1932

      Dearest Family,

      George has been very unwell for the past week. He had a nasty gash on his
      knee which went septic. He had a swelling in the groin and a high temperature and could
      not sleep at night for the pain in his leg. Ann was very wakeful too during the same
      period, I think she is teething. I luckily have kept fit though rather harassed. Yesterday the
      leg looked so inflamed that George decided to open up the wound himself. he made
      quite a big cut in exactly the right place. You should have seen the blackish puss
      pouring out.

      After he had thoroughly cleaned the wound George sewed it up himself. he has
      the proper surgical needles and gut. He held the cut together with his left hand and
      pushed the needle through the flesh with his right. I pulled the needle out and passed it
      to George for the next stitch. I doubt whether a surgeon could have made a neater job
      of it. He is still confined to the couch but today his temperature is normal. Some
      husband!

      The previous week was hectic in another way. We had a visit from lions! George
      and I were having supper about 8.30 on Tuesday night when the back verandah was
      suddenly invaded by women and children from the servants quarters behind the kitchen.
      They were all yelling “Simba, Simba.” – simba means lions. The door opened suddenly
      and the houseboy rushed in to say that there were lions at the huts. George got up
      swiftly, fetched gun and ammunition from the bedroom and with the houseboy carrying
      the lamp, went off to investigate. I remained at the table, carrying on with my supper as I
      felt a pioneer’s wife should! Suddenly something big leapt through the open window
      behind me. You can imagine what I thought! I know now that it is quite true to say one’s
      hair rises when one is scared. However it was only Kelly, our huge Irish wolfhound,
      taking cover.

      George returned quite soon to say that apparently the commotion made by the
      women and children had frightened the lions off. He found their tracks in the soft earth
      round the huts and a bag of maize that had been playfully torn open but the lions had
      moved on.

      Next day we heard that they had moved to Hickson-Wood’s shamba. Hicky
      came across to say that the lions had jumped over the wall of his cattle boma and killed
      both his white Muskat riding donkeys.
      He and a friend sat up all next night over the remains but the lions did not return to
      the kill.

      Apart from the little set back last week, Ann is blooming. She has a cap of very
      fine fair hair and clear blue eyes under straight brow. She also has lovely dimples in both
      cheeks. We are very proud of her.

      Our neighbours are picking coffee but the crops are small and the price is low. I
      am amazed that they are so optimistic about the future. No one in these parts ever
      seems to grouse though all are living on capital. They all say “Well if the worst happens
      we can always go up to the Lupa Diggings.”

      Don’t worry about us, we have enough to tide us over for some time yet.

      Much love to all,
      Eleanor.

      Mchewe Estate. 28th Sept. 1932

      Dearest Family,

      News! News! I’m going to have another baby. George and I are delighted and I
      hope it will be a boy this time. I shall be able to have him at Mbeya because things are
      rapidly changing here. Several German families have moved to Mbeya including a
      German doctor who means to build a hospital there. I expect he will make a very good
      living because there must now be some hundreds of Europeans within a hundred miles
      radius of Mbeya. The Europeans are mostly British or German but there are also
      Greeks and, I believe, several other nationalities are represented on the Lupa Diggings.
      Ann is blooming and developing according to the Book except that she has no
      teeth yet! Kath Hickson-Wood has given her a very nice high chair and now she has
      breakfast and lunch at the table with us. Everything within reach goes on the floor to her
      amusement and my exasperation!

      You ask whether we have any Church of England missionaries in our part. No we
      haven’t though there are Lutheran and Roman Catholic Missions. I have never even
      heard of a visiting Church of England Clergyman to these parts though there are babies
      in plenty who have not been baptised. Jolly good thing I had Ann Christened down
      there.

      The R.C. priests in this area are called White Fathers. They all have beards and
      wear white cassocks and sun helmets. One, called Father Keiling, calls around frequently.
      Though none of us in this area is Catholic we take it in turn to put him up for the night. The
      Catholic Fathers in their turn are most hospitable to travellers regardless of their beliefs.
      Rather a sad thing has happened. Lucas our old chicken-boy is dead. I shall miss
      his toothy smile. George went to the funeral and fired two farewell shots from his rifle
      over the grave – a gesture much appreciated by the locals. Lucas in his day was a good
      hunter.

      Several of the locals own muzzle loading guns but the majority hunt with dogs
      and spears. The dogs wear bells which make an attractive jingle but I cannot bear the
      idea of small antelope being run down until they are exhausted before being clubbed of
      stabbed to death. We seldom eat venison as George does not care to shoot buck.
      Recently though, he shot an eland and Abel rendered down the fat which is excellent for
      cooking and very like beef fat.

      Much love to all,
      Eleanor.

      Mchewe Estate. P.O.Mbeya 21st November 1932

      Dearest Family,

      George has gone off to the Lupa for a week with John Molteno. John came up
      here with the idea of buying a coffee farm but he has changed his mind and now thinks of
      staking some claims on the diggings and also setting up as a gold buyer.

      Did I tell you about his arrival here? John and George did some elephant hunting
      together in French Equatorial Africa and when John heard that George had married and
      settled in Tanganyika, he also decided to come up here. He drove up from Cape Town
      in a Baby Austin and arrived just as our labourers were going home for the day. The little
      car stopped half way up our hill and John got out to investigate. You should have heard
      the astonished exclamations when John got out – all 6 ft 5 ins. of him! He towered over
      the little car and even to me it seemed impossible for him to have made the long
      journey in so tiny a car.

      Kath Wood has been over several times lately. She is slim and looks so right in
      the shirt and corduroy slacks she almost always wears. She was here yesterday when
      the shamba boy, digging in the front garden, unearthed a large earthenware cooking pot,
      sealed at the top. I was greatly excited and had an instant mental image of fabulous
      wealth. We made the boy bring the pot carefully on to the verandah and opened it in
      happy anticipation. What do you think was inside? Nothing but a grinning skull! Such a
      treat for a pregnant female.

      We have a tree growing here that had lovely straight branches covered by a
      smooth bark. I got the garden boy to cut several of these branches of a uniform size,
      peeled off the bark and have made Ann a playpen with the poles which are much like
      broom sticks. Now I can leave her unattended when I do my chores. The other morning
      after breakfast I put Ann in her playpen on the verandah and gave her a piece of toast
      and honey to keep her quiet whilst I laundered a few of her things. When I looked out a
      little later I was horrified to see a number of bees buzzing around her head whilst she
      placidly concentrated on her toast. I made a rapid foray and rescued her but I still don’t
      know whether that was the thing to do.

      We all send our love,
      Eleanor.

      Mbeya Hospital. April 25th. 1933

      Dearest Family,

      Here I am, installed at the very new hospital, built by Dr Eckhardt, awaiting the
      arrival of the new baby. George has gone back to the farm on foot but will walk in again
      to spend the weekend with us. Ann is with me and enjoys the novelty of playing with
      other children. The Eckhardts have two, a pretty little girl of two and a half and a very fair
      roly poly boy of Ann’s age. Ann at fourteen months is very active. She is quite a little girl
      now with lovely dimples. She walks well but is backward in teething.

      George, Ann and I had a couple of days together at the hotel before I moved in
      here and several of the local women visited me and have promised to visit me in
      hospital. The trip from farm to town was very entertaining if not very comfortable. There
      is ten miles of very rough road between our farm and Utengule Mission and beyond the
      Mission there is a fair thirteen or fourteen mile road to Mbeya.

      As we have no car now the doctor’s wife offered to drive us from the Mission to
      Mbeya but she would not risk her car on the road between the Mission and our farm.
      The upshot was that I rode in the Hickson-Woods machila for that ten mile stretch. The
      machila is a canopied hammock, slung from a bamboo pole, in which I reclined, not too
      comfortably in my unwieldy state, with Ann beside me or sometime straddling me. Four
      of our farm boys carried the machila on their shoulders, two fore and two aft. The relief
      bearers walked on either side. There must have been a dozen in all and they sang a sort
      of sea shanty song as they walked. One man would sing a verse and the others took up
      the chorus. They often improvise as they go. They moaned about my weight (at least
      George said so! I don’t follow Ki-Swahili well yet) and expressed the hope that I would
      have a son and that George would reward them handsomely.

      George and Kelly, the dog, followed close behind the machila and behind
      George came Abel our cook and his wife and small daughter Annalie, all in their best
      attire. The cook wore a palm beach suit, large Terai hat and sunglasses and two colour
      shoes and quite lent a tone to the proceedings! Right at the back came the rag tag and
      bobtail who joined the procession just for fun.

      Mrs Eckhardt was already awaiting us at the Mission when we arrived and we had
      an uneventful trip to the Mbeya Hotel.

      During my last week at the farm I felt very tired and engaged the cook’s small
      daughter, Annalie, to amuse Ann for an hour after lunch so that I could have a rest. They
      played in the small verandah room which adjoins our bedroom and where I keep all my
      sewing materials. One afternoon I was startled by a scream from Ann. I rushed to the
      room and found Ann with blood steaming from her cheek. Annalie knelt beside her,
      looking startled and frightened, with my embroidery scissors in her hand. She had cut off
      half of the long curling golden lashes on one of Ann’s eyelids and, in trying to finish the
      job, had cut off a triangular flap of skin off Ann’s cheek bone.

      I called Abel, the cook, and demanded that he should chastise his daughter there and
      then and I soon heard loud shrieks from behind the kitchen. He spanked her with a
      bamboo switch but I am sure not as well as she deserved. Africans are very tolerant
      towards their children though I have seen husbands and wives fighting furiously.
      I feel very well but long to have the confinement over.

      Very much love,
      Eleanor.

      Mbeya Hospital. 2nd May 1933.

      Dearest Family,

      Little George arrived at 7.30 pm on Saturday evening 29 th. April. George was
      with me at the time as he had walked in from the farm for news, and what a wonderful bit
      of luck that was. The doctor was away on a case on the Diggings and I was bathing Ann
      with George looking on, when the pains started. George dried Ann and gave her
      supper and put her to bed. Afterwards he sat on the steps outside my room and a
      great comfort it was to know that he was there.

      The confinement was short but pretty hectic. The Doctor returned to the Hospital
      just in time to deliver the baby. He is a grand little boy, beautifully proportioned. The
      doctor says he has never seen a better formed baby. He is however rather funny
      looking just now as his head is, very temporarily, egg shaped. He has a shock of black
      silky hair like a gollywog and believe it or not, he has a slight black moustache.
      George came in, looked at the baby, looked at me, and we both burst out
      laughing. The doctor was shocked and said so. He has no sense of humour and couldn’t
      understand that we, though bursting with pride in our son, could never the less laugh at
      him.

      Friends in Mbeya have sent me the most gorgeous flowers and my room is
      transformed with delphiniums, roses and carnations. The room would be very austere
      without the flowers. Curtains, bedspread and enamelware, walls and ceiling are all
      snowy white.

      George hired a car and took Ann home next day. I have little George for
      company during the day but he is removed at night. I am longing to get him home and
      away from the German nurse who feeds him on black tea when he cries. She insists that
      tea is a medicine and good for him.

      Much love from a proud mother of two.
      Eleanor.

      Mchewe Estate 12May 1933

      Dearest Family,

      We are all together at home again and how lovely it feels. Even the house
      servants seem pleased. The boy had decorated the lounge with sprays of
      bougainvillaea and Abel had backed one of his good sponge cakes.

      Ann looked fat and rosy but at first was only moderately interested in me and the
      new baby but she soon thawed. George is good with her and will continue to dress Ann
      in the mornings and put her to bed until I am satisfied with Georgie.

      He, poor mite, has a nasty rash on face and neck. I am sure it is just due to that
      tea the nurse used to give him at night. He has lost his moustache and is fast loosing his
      wild black hair and emerging as quite a handsome babe. He is a very masculine looking
      infant with much more strongly marked eyebrows and a larger nose that Ann had. He is
      very good and lies quietly in his basket even when awake.

      George has been making a hatching box for brown trout ova and has set it up in
      a small clear stream fed by a spring in readiness for the ova which is expected from
      South Africa by next weeks plane. Some keen fishermen from Mbeya and the District
      have clubbed together to buy the ova. The fingerlings are later to be transferred to
      streams in Mbeya and Tukuyu Districts.

      I shall now have my hands full with the two babies and will not have much time for the
      garden, or I fear, for writing very long letters. Remember though, that no matter how
      large my family becomes, I shall always love you as much as ever.

      Your affectionate,
      Eleanor.

      Mchewe Estate. 14th June 1933

      Dearest Family,

      The four of us are all well but alas we have lost our dear Kelly. He was rather a
      silly dog really, although he grew so big he retained all his puppy ways but we were all
      very fond of him, especially George because Kelly attached himself to George whilst I
      was away having Ann and from that time on he was George’s shadow. I think he had
      some form of biliary fever. He died stretched out on the living room couch late last night,
      with George sitting beside him so that he would not feel alone.

      The children are growing fast. Georgie is a darling. He now has a fluff of pale
      brown hair and his eyes are large and dark brown. Ann is very plump and fair.
      We have had several visitors lately. Apart from neighbours, a car load of diggers
      arrived one night and John Molteno and his bride were here. She is a very attractive girl
      but, I should say, more suited to life in civilisation than in this back of beyond. She has
      gone out to the diggings with her husband and will have to walk a good stretch of the fifty
      or so miles.

      The diggers had to sleep in the living room on the couch and on hastily erected
      camp beds. They arrived late at night and left after breakfast next day. One had half a
      beard, the other side of his face had been forcibly shaved in the bar the night before.

      your affectionate,
      Eleanor

      Mchewe Estate. August 10 th. 1933

      Dearest Family,

      George is away on safari with two Indian Army officers. The money he will get for
      his services will be very welcome because this coffee growing is a slow business, and
      our capitol is rapidly melting away. The job of acting as White Hunter was unexpected
      or George would not have taken on the job of hatching the ova which duly arrived from
      South Africa.

      George and the District Commissioner, David Pollock, went to meet the plane
      by which the ova had been consigned but the pilot knew nothing about the package. It
      came to light in the mail bag with the parcels! However the ova came to no harm. David
      Pollock and George brought the parcel to the farm and carefully transferred the ova to
      the hatching box. It was interesting to watch the tiny fry hatch out – a process which took
      several days. Many died in the process and George removed the dead by sucking
      them up in a glass tube.

      When hatched, the tiny fry were fed on ant eggs collected by the boys. I had to
      take over the job of feeding and removing the dead when George left on safari. The fry
      have to be fed every four hours, like the baby, so each time I have fed Georgie. I hurry
      down to feed the trout.

      The children are very good but keep me busy. Ann can now say several words
      and understands more. She adores Georgie. I long to show them off to you.

      Very much love
      Eleanor.

      Mchewe Estate. October 27th 1933

      Dear Family,

      All just over flu. George and Ann were very poorly. I did not fare so badly and
      Georgie came off best. He is on a bottle now.

      There was some excitement here last Wednesday morning. At 6.30 am. I called
      for boiling water to make Georgie’s food. No water arrived but muffled shouting and the
      sound of blows came from the kitchen. I went to investigate and found a fierce fight in
      progress between the house boy and the kitchen boy. In my efforts to make them stop
      fighting I went too close and got a sharp bang on the mouth with the edge of an
      enamelled plate the kitchen boy was using as a weapon. My teeth cut my lip inside and
      the plate cut it outside and blood flowed from mouth to chin. The boys were petrified.
      By the time I had fed Georgie the lip was stiff and swollen. George went in wrath
      to the kitchen and by breakfast time both house boy and kitchen boy had swollen faces
      too. Since then I have a kettle of boiling water to hand almost before the words are out
      of my mouth. I must say that the fight was because the house boy had clouted the
      kitchen boy for keeping me waiting! In this land of piece work it is the job of the kitchen
      boy to light the fire and boil the kettle but the houseboy’s job to carry the kettle to me.
      I have seen little of Kath Wood or Marion Coster for the past two months. Major
      Jones is the neighbour who calls most regularly. He has a wireless set and calls on all of
      us to keep us up to date with world as well as local news. He often brings oranges for
      Ann who adores him. He is a very nice person but no oil painting and makes no effort to
      entertain Ann but she thinks he is fine. Perhaps his monocle appeals to her.

      George has bought a six foot long galvanised bath which is a great improvement
      on the smaller oval one we have used until now. The smaller one had grown battered
      from much use and leaks like a sieve. Fortunately our bathroom has a cement floor,
      because one had to fill the bath to the brim and then bath extremely quickly to avoid
      being left high and dry.

      Lots and lots of love,
      Eleanor.

      Mchewe Estate. P.O. Mbeya 1st December 1933

      Dearest Family,

      Ann has not been well. We think she has had malaria. She has grown a good
      deal lately and looks much thinner and rather pale. Georgie is thriving and has such
      sparkling brown eyes and a ready smile. He and Ann make a charming pair, one so fair
      and the other dark.

      The Moltenos’ spent a few days here and took Georgie and me to Mbeya so
      that Georgie could be vaccinated. However it was an unsatisfactory trip because the
      doctor had no vaccine.

      George went to the Lupa with the Moltenos and returned to the farm in their Baby
      Austin which they have lent to us for a week. This was to enable me to go to Mbeya to
      have a couple of teeth filled by a visiting dentist.

      We went to Mbeya in the car on Saturday. It was quite a squash with the four of
      us on the front seat of the tiny car. Once George grabbed the babies foot instead of the
      gear knob! We had Georgie vaccinated at the hospital and then went to the hotel where
      the dentist was installed. Mr Dare, the dentist, had few instruments and they were very
      tarnished. I sat uncomfortably on a kitchen chair whilst he tinkered with my teeth. He filled
      three but two of the fillings came out that night. This meant another trip to Mbeya in the
      Baby Austin but this time they seem all right.

      The weather is very hot and dry and the garden a mess. We are having trouble
      with the young coffee trees too. Cut worms are killing off seedlings in the nursery and
      there is a borer beetle in the planted out coffee.

      George bought a large grey donkey from some wandering Masai and we hope
      the children will enjoy riding it later on.

      Very much love,
      Eleanor.

      Mchewe Estate. 14th February 1934.

      Dearest Family,

      You will be sorry to hear that little Ann has been very ill, indeed we were terribly
      afraid that we were going to lose her. She enjoyed her birthday on the 8th. All the toys
      you, and her English granny, sent were unwrapped with such delight. However next
      day she seemed listless and a bit feverish so I tucked her up in bed after lunch. I dosed
      her with quinine and aspirin and she slept fitfully. At about eleven o’clock I was
      awakened by a strange little cry. I turned up the night light and was horrified to see that
      Ann was in a convulsion. I awakened George who, as always in an emergency, was
      perfectly calm and practical. He filled the small bath with very warm water and emersed
      Ann in it, placing a cold wet cloth on her head. We then wrapped her in blankets and
      gave her an enema and she settled down to sleep. A few hours later we had the same
      thing over again.

      At first light we sent a runner to Mbeya to fetch the doctor but waited all day in
      vain and in the evening the runner returned to say that the doctor had gone to a case on
      the diggings. Ann had been feverish all day with two or three convulsions. Neither
      George or I wished to leave the bedroom, but there was Georgie to consider, and in
      the afternoon I took him out in the garden for a while whilst George sat with Ann.
      That night we both sat up all night and again Ann had those wretched attacks of
      convulsions. George and I were worn out with anxiety by the time the doctor arrived the
      next afternoon. Ann had not been able to keep down any quinine and had had only
      small sips of water since the onset of the attack.

      The doctor at once diagnosed the trouble as malaria aggravated by teething.
      George held Ann whilst the Doctor gave her an injection. At the first attempt the needle
      bent into a bow, George was furious! The second attempt worked and after a few hours
      Ann’s temperature dropped and though she was ill for two days afterwards she is now
      up and about. She has also cut the last of her baby teeth, thank God. She looks thin and
      white, but should soon pick up. It has all been a great strain to both of us. Georgie
      behaved like an angel throughout. He played happily in his cot and did not seem to
      sense any tension as people say, babies do. Our baby was cheerful and not at all
      subdued.

      This is the rainy season and it is a good thing that some work has been done on
      our road or the doctor might not have got through.

      Much love to all,
      Eleanor.

      Mchewe Estate. 1st October 1934

      Dearest Family,

      We are all well now, thank goodness, but last week Georgie gave us such a
      fright. I was sitting on the verandah, busy with some sewing and not watching Ann and
      Georgie, who were trying to reach a bunch of bananas which hung on a rope from a
      beam of the verandah. Suddenly I heard a crash, Georgie had fallen backward over the
      edge of the verandah and hit the back of his head on the edge of the brick furrow which
      carries away the rainwater. He lay flat on his back with his arms spread out and did not
      move or cry. When I picked him up he gave a little whimper, I carried him to his cot and
      bathed his face and soon he began sitting up and appeared quite normal. The trouble
      began after he had vomited up his lunch. He began to whimper and bang his head
      against the cot.

      George and I were very worried because we have no transport so we could not
      take Georgie to the doctor and we could not bear to go through again what we had gone
      through with Ann earlier in the year. Then, in the late afternoon, a miracle happened. Two
      men George hardly knew, and complete strangers to me, called in on their way from the
      diggings to Mbeya and they kindly drove Georgie and me to the hospital. The Doctor
      allowed me to stay with Georgie and we spent five days there. Luckily he responded to
      treatment and is now as alive as ever. Children do put years on one!

      There is nothing much else to report. We have a new vegetable garden which is
      doing well but the earth here is strange. Gardens seem to do well for two years but by
      that time the soil is exhausted and one must move the garden somewhere else. The
      coffee looks well but it will be another year before we can expect even a few bags of
      coffee and prices are still low. Anyway by next year George should have some good
      return for all his hard work.

      Lots of love,
      Eleanor.

      Mchewe Estate. November 4th 1934

      Dearest Family,

      George is home from his White Hunting safari looking very sunburnt and well.
      The elderly American, who was his client this time, called in here at the farm to meet me
      and the children. It is amazing what spirit these old lads have! This one looked as though
      he should be thinking in terms of slippers and an armchair but no, he thinks in terms of
      high powered rifles with telescopic sights.

      It is lovely being together again and the children are delighted to have their Dad
      home. Things are always exciting when George is around. The day after his return
      George said at breakfast, “We can’t go on like this. You and the kids never get off the
      shamba. We’ll simply have to get a car.” You should have heard the excitement. “Get a
      car Daddy?’” cried Ann jumping in her chair so that her plaits bounced. “Get a car
      Daddy?” echoed Georgie his brown eyes sparkling. “A car,” said I startled, “However
      can we afford one?”

      “Well,” said George, “on my way back from Safari I heard that a car is to be sold
      this week at the Tukuyu Court, diseased estate or bankruptcy or something, I might get it
      cheap and it is an A.C.” The name meant nothing to me, but George explained that an
      A.C. is first cousin to a Rolls Royce.

      So off he went to the sale and next day the children and I listened all afternoon for
      the sound of an approaching car. We had many false alarms but, towards evening we
      heard what appeared to be the roar of an aeroplane engine. It was the A.C. roaring her
      way up our steep hill with a long plume of steam waving gaily above her radiator.
      Out jumped my beaming husband and in no time at all, he was showing off her
      points to an admiring family. Her lines are faultless and seats though worn are most
      comfortable. She has a most elegant air so what does it matter that the radiator leaks like
      a sieve, her exhaust pipe has broken off, her tyres are worn almost to the canvas and
      she has no windscreen. She goes, and she cost only five pounds.

      Next afternoon George, the kids and I piled into the car and drove along the road
      on lookout for guinea fowl. All went well on the outward journey but on the homeward
      one the poor A.C. simply gasped and died. So I carried the shot gun and George
      carried both children and we trailed sadly home. This morning George went with a bunch
      of farmhands and brought her home. Truly temperamental, she came home literally
      under her own steam.

      George now plans to get a second hand engine and radiator for her but it won’t
      be an A.C. engine. I think she is the only one of her kind in the country.
      I am delighted to hear, dad, that you are sending a bridle for Joseph for
      Christmas. I am busy making a saddle out of an old piece of tent canvas stuffed with
      kapok, some webbing and some old rug straps. A car and a riding donkey! We’re
      definitely carriage folk now.

      Lots of love to all,
      Eleanor.

      Mchewe Estate. 28th December 1934

      Dearest Family,

      Thank you for the wonderful Christmas parcel. My frock is a splendid fit. George
      declares that no one can knit socks like Mummy and the children love their toys and new
      clothes.

      Joseph, the donkey, took his bit with an air of bored resignation and Ann now
      rides proudly on his back. Joseph is a big strong animal with the looks and disposition of
      a mule. he will not go at all unless a native ‘toto’ walks before him and when he does go
      he wears a pained expression as though he were carrying fourteen stone instead of
      Ann’s fly weight. I walk beside the donkey carrying Georgie and our cat, ‘Skinny Winnie’,
      follows behind. Quite a cavalcade. The other day I got so exasperated with Joseph that
      I took Ann off and I got on. Joseph tottered a few paces and sat down! to the huge
      delight of our farm labourers who were going home from work. Anyway, one good thing,
      the donkey is so lazy that there is little chance of him bolting with Ann.

      The Moltenos spent Christmas with us and left for the Lupa Diggings yesterday.
      They arrived on the 22nd. with gifts for the children and chocolates and beer. That very
      afternoon George and John Molteno left for Ivuna, near Lake Ruckwa, to shoot some
      guinea fowl and perhaps a goose for our Christmas dinner. We expected the menfolk
      back on Christmas Eve and Anne and I spent a busy day making mince pies and
      sausage rolls. Why I don’t know, because I am sure Abel could have made them better.
      We decorated the Christmas tree and sat up very late but no husbands turned up.
      Christmas day passed but still no husbands came. Anne, like me, is expecting a baby
      and we both felt pretty forlorn and cross. Anne was certain that they had been caught up
      in a party somewhere and had forgotten all about us and I must say when Boxing Day
      went by and still George and John did not show up I felt ready to agree with her.
      They turned up towards evening and explained that on the homeward trip the car
      had bogged down in the mud and that they had spent a miserable Christmas. Anne
      refused to believe their story so George, to prove their case, got the game bag and
      tipped the contents on to the dining room table. Out fell several guinea fowl, long past
      being edible, followed by a large goose so high that it was green and blue where all the
      feathers had rotted off.

      The stench was too much for two pregnant girls. I shot out of the front door
      closely followed by Anne and we were both sick in the garden.

      I could not face food that evening but Anne is made of stronger stuff and ate her
      belated Christmas dinner with relish.

      I am looking forward enormously to having Marjorie here with us. She will be able
      to carry back to you an eyewitness account of our home and way of life.

      Much love to you all,
      Eleanor.

      Mchewe Estate. 5th January 1935

      Dearest Family,

      You cannot imagine how lovely it is to have Marjorie here. She came just in time
      because I have had pernicious vomiting and have lost a great deal of weight and she
      took charge of the children and made me spend three days in hospital having treatment.
      George took me to the hospital on the afternoon of New Years Eve and decided
      to spend the night at the hotel and join in the New Years Eve celebrations. I had several
      visitors at the hospital that evening and George actually managed to get some imported
      grapes for me. He returned to the farm next morning and fetched me from the hospital
      four days later. Of course the old A.C. just had to play up. About half way home the
      back axle gave in and we had to send a passing native some miles back to a place
      called Mbalizi to hire a lorry from a Greek trader to tow us home to the farm.
      The children looked well and were full of beans. I think Marjorie was thankful to
      hand them over to me. She is delighted with Ann’s motherly little ways but Georgie she
      calls “a really wild child”. He isn’t, just has such an astonishing amount of energy and is
      always up to mischief. Marjorie brought us all lovely presents. I am so thrilled with my
      sewing machine. It may be an old model but it sews marvellously. We now have an
      Alsatian pup as well as Joseph the donkey and the two cats.

      Marjorie had a midnight encounter with Joseph which gave her quite a shock but
      we had a good laugh about it next day. Some months ago George replaced our wattle
      and daub outside pit lavatory by a substantial brick one, so large that Joseph is being
      temporarily stabled in it at night. We neglected to warn Marj about this and one night,
      storm lamp in hand, she opened the door and Joseph walked out braying his thanks.
      I am afraid Marjorie is having a quiet time, a shame when the journey from Cape
      Town is so expensive. The doctor has told me to rest as much as I can, so it is
      impossible for us to take Marj on sight seeing trips.

      I hate to think that she will be leaving in ten days time.

      Much love,
      Eleanor.

      Mchewe Estate. 18th February 1935

      Dearest Family,

      You must be able to visualise our life here quite well now that Marj is back and
      has no doubt filled in all the details I forget to mention in my letters. What a journey we
      had in the A.C. when we took her to the plane. George, the children and I sat in front and
      Marj sat behind with numerous four gallon tins of water for the insatiable radiator. It was
      raining and the canvas hood was up but part of the side flaps are missing and as there is
      no glass in the windscreen the rain blew in on us. George got fed up with constantly
      removing the hot radiator cap so simply stuffed a bit of rag in instead. When enough
      steam had built up in the radiator behind the rag it blew out and we started all over again.
      The car still roars like an aeroplane engine and yet has little power so that George sent
      gangs of boys to the steep hills between the farm and the Mission to give us a push if
      necessary. Fortunately this time it was not, and the boys cheered us on our way. We
      needed their help on the homeward journey however.

      George has now bought an old Chev engine which he means to install before I
      have to go to hospital to have my new baby. It will be quite an engineering feet as
      George has few tools.

      I am sorry to say that I am still not well, something to do with kidneys or bladder.
      George bought me some pills from one of the several small shops which have opened
      in Mbeya and Ann is most interested in the result. She said seriously to Kath Wood,
      “Oh my Mummy is a very clever Mummy. She can do blue wee and green wee as well
      as yellow wee.” I simply can no longer manage the children without help and have
      engaged the cook’s wife, Janey, to help. The children are by no means thrilled. I plead in
      vain that I am not well enough to go for walks. Ann says firmly, “Ann doesn’t want to go
      for a walk. Ann will look after you.” Funny, though she speaks well for a three year old,
      she never uses the first person. Georgie say he would much rather walk with
      Keshokutwa, the kitchen boy. His name by the way, means day-after-tomorrow and it
      suits him down to the ground, Kath Wood walks over sometimes with offers of help and Ann will gladly go walking with her but Georgie won’t. He on the other hand will walk with Anne Molteno
      and Ann won’t. They are obstinate kids. Ann has developed a very fertile imagination.
      She has probably been looking at too many of those nice women’s magazines you
      sent. A few days ago she said, “You are sick Mummy, but Ann’s got another Mummy.
      She’s not sick, and my other mummy (very smugly) has lovely golden hair”. This
      morning’ not ten minutes after I had dressed her, she came in with her frock wet and
      muddy. I said in exasperation, “Oh Ann, you are naughty.” To which she instantly
      returned, “My other Mummy doesn’t think I am naughty. She thinks I am very nice.” It
      strikes me I shall have to get better soon so that I can be gay once more and compete
      with that phantom golden haired paragon.

      We had a very heavy storm over the farm last week. There was heavy rain with
      hail which stripped some of the coffee trees and the Mchewe River flooded and the
      water swept through the lower part of the shamba. After the water had receded George
      picked up a fine young trout which had been stranded. This was one of some he had
      put into the river when Georgie was a few months old.

      The trials of a coffee farmer are legion. We now have a plague of snails. They
      ring bark the young trees and leave trails of slime on the glossy leaves. All the ring
      barked trees will have to be cut right back and this is heartbreaking as they are bearing
      berries for the first time. The snails are collected by native children, piled upon the
      ground and bashed to a pulp which gives off a sickening stench. I am sorry for the local
      Africans. Locusts ate up their maize and now they are losing their bean crop to the snails.

      Lots of love, Eleanor

      #6253
      TracyTracy
      Participant

        My Grandparents Kitchen

        My grandmother used to have golden syrup in her larder, hanging on the white plastic coated storage rack that was screwed to the inside of the larder door. Mostly the larder door was left propped open with an old flat iron, so you could see the Heinz ketchup and home made picallilli (she made a particularly good picallili), the Worcester sauce and the jar of pickled onions, as you sat at the kitchen table.

        If you were sitting to the right of the kitchen table you could see an assortment of mismatched crockery, cups and bowls, shoe cleaning brushes, and at the back, tiny tins of baked beans and big ones of plum tomatoes,  and normal sized tins of vegetable and mushroom soup.  Underneath the little shelves that housed the tins was a blue plastic washing up bowl with a few onions, some in, some out of the yellow string bag they came home from the expensive little village supermarket in.

        There was much more to the left in the awkward triangular shape under the stairs, but you couldn’t see under there from your seat at the kitchen table.  You could see the shelf above the larder door which held an ugly china teapot of graceless modern lines, gazed with metallic silver which was wearing off in places. Beside the teapot sat a serving bowl, squat and shapely with little handles, like a flattened Greek urn, in white and reddish brown with flecks of faded gilt. A plain white teapot completed the trio, a large cylindrical one with neat vertical ridges and grooves.

        There were two fridges under the high shallow wooden wall cupboard.  A waist high bulbous old green one with a big handle that pulled out with a clunk, and a chest high sleek white one with a small freezer at the top with a door of its own.  On the top of the fridges were biscuit and cracker tins, big black keys, pencils and brittle yellow notepads, rubber bands and aspirin value packs and a bottle of Brufen.  There was a battered old maroon spectacle case and a whicker letter rack, letters crammed in and fanning over the top.  There was always a pile of glossy advertising pamphlets and flyers on top of the fridges, of the sort that were best put straight into the tiny pedal bin.

        My grandmother never lined the pedal bin with a used plastic bag, nor with a specially designed plastic bin liner. The bin was so small that the flip top lid was often gaping, resting on a mound of cauliflower greens and soup tins.  Behind the pedal bin, but on the outer aspect of the kitchen wall, was the big black dustbin with the rubbery lid. More often than not, the lid was thrust upwards. If Thursday when the dustbin men came was several days away, you’d wish you hadn’t put those newspapers in, or those old shoes!  You stood in the softly drizzling rain in your slippers, the rubbery sheild of a lid in your left hand and the overflowing pedal bin in the other.  The contents of the pedal bin are not going to fit into the dustbin.  You sigh, put the pedal bin and the dustbin lid down, and roll up your sleeves ~ carefully, because you’ve poked your fingers into a porridge covered teabag.  You grab the sides of the protruding black sack and heave. All being well,  the contents should settle and you should have several inches more of plastic bag above the rim of the dustbin.  Unless of course it’s a poor quality plastic bag in which case your fingernail will go through and a horizontal slash will appear just below rubbish level.  Eventually you upend the pedal bin and scrape the cigarette ash covered potato peelings into the dustbin with your fingers. By now the fibres of your Shetland wool jumper are heavy with damp, just like the fuzzy split ends that curl round your pale frowning brow.  You may push back your hair with your forearm causing the moisture to bead and trickle down your face, as you turn the brass doorknob with your palm and wrist, tea leaves and cigarette ash clinging unpleasantly to your fingers.

        The pedal bin needs rinsing in the kitchen sink, but the sink is full of mismatched saucepans, some new in shades of harvest gold, some battered and mishapen in stainless steel and aluminium, bits of mashed potato stuck to them like concrete pebbledash. There is a pale pink octagonally ovoid shallow serving dish and a little grey soup bowl with a handle like a miniature pottery saucepan decorated with kitcheny motifs.

        The water for the coffee bubbles in a suacepan on the cream enamelled gas cooker. My grandmother never used a kettle, although I do remember a heavy flame orange one. The little pan for boiling water had a lip for easy pouring and a black plastic handle.

        The steam has caused the condensation on the window over the sink to race in rivulets down to the fablon coated windowsill.  The yellow gingham curtains hang limply, the left one tucked behind the back of the cooker.

        You put the pedal bin back it it’s place below the tea towel holder, and rinse your mucky fingers under the tap. The gas water heater on the wall above you roars into life just as you turn the tap off, and disappointed, subsides.

        As you lean over to turn the cooker knob, the heat from the oven warms your arm. The gas oven was almost always on, the oven door open with clean tea towels and sometimes large white pants folded over it to air.

        The oven wasn’t the only heat in my grandparents kitchen. There was an electric bar fire near the red formica table which used to burn your legs. The kitchen table was extended by means of a flap at each side. When I was small I wasn’t allowed to snap the hinge underneath shut as my grandmother had pinched the skin of her palm once.

        The electric fire was plugged into the same socket as the radio. The radio took a minute or two to warm up when you switched it on, a bulky thing with sharp seventies edges and a reddish wood effect veneer and big knobs.  The light for my grandfathers workshop behind the garage (where he made dentures) was plugged into the same socket, which had a big heavy white three way adaptor in. The plug for the washing machine was hooked by means of a bit of string onto a nail or hook so that it didn’t fall down behing the washing machine when it wasn’t plugged in. Everything was unplugged when it wasn’t in use.  Sometimes there was a shrivelled Christmas cactus on top of the radio, but it couldn’t hide the adaptor and all those plugs.

        Above the washing machine was a rhomboid wooden wall cupboard with sliding frsoted glass doors.  It was painted creamy gold, the colour of a nicotine stained pub ceiling, and held packets of Paxo stuffing and little jars of Bovril and Marmite, packets of Bisto and a jar of improbably red Maraschino cherries.

        The nicotine coloured cupboard on the opposite wall had half a dozen large hooks screwed under the bottom shelf. A variety of mugs and cups hung there when they weren’t in the bowl waiting to be washed up. Those cupboard doors seemed flimsy for their size, and the thin beading on the edge of one door had come unstuck at the bottom and snapped back if you caught it with your sleeve.  The doors fastened with a little click in the centre, and the bottom of the door reverberated slightly as you yanked it open. There were always crumbs in the cupboard from the numerous packets of bisucits and crackers and there was always an Allbran packet with the top folded over to squeeze it onto the shelf. The sugar bowl was in there, sticky grains like sandpaper among the biscuit crumbs.

        Half of one of the shelves was devoted to medicines: grave looking bottles of codeine linctus with no nonsense labels,  brown glass bottles with pills for rheumatism and angina.  Often you would find a large bottle, nearly full, of Brewers yeast or vitamin supplements with a dollar price tag, souvenirs of the familys last visit.  Above the medicines you’d find a faded packet of Napolitana pasta bows or a dusty packet of muesli. My grandparents never used them but she left them in the cupboard. Perhaps the dollar price tags and foreign foods reminded her of her children.

        If there had been a recent visit you would see monstrous jars of Sanka and Maxwell House coffee in there too, but they always used the coffee.  They liked evaporated milk in their coffee, and used tins and tins of “evap” as they called it. They would pour it over tinned fruit, or rhubard crumble or stewed apples.

        When there was just the two of them, or when I was there as well, they’d eat at the kitchen table. The table would be covered in a white embroidered cloth and the food served in mismatched serving dishes. The cutlery was large and bent, the knife handles in varying shades of bone. My grandfathers favourite fork had the tip of each prong bent in a different direction. He reckoned it was more efficient that way to spear his meat.  He often used to chew his meat and then spit it out onto the side of his plate. Not in company, of course.  I can understand why he did that, not having eaten meat myself for so long. You could chew a piece of meat for several hours and still have a stringy lump between your cheek and your teeth.

        My grandfather would always have a bowl of Allbran with some Froment wheat germ for his breakfast, while reading the Daily Mail at the kitchen table.  He never worse slippers, always shoes indoors,  and always wore a tie.  He had lots of ties but always wore a plain maroon one.  His shirts were always cream and buttoned at throat and cuff, and eventually started wearing shirts without detachable collars. He wore greeny grey trousers and a cardigan of the same shade most of the time, the same colour as a damp English garden.

        The same colour as the slimy green wooden clothes pegs that I threw away and replaced with mauve and fuschia pink plastic ones.  “They’re a bit bright for up the garden, aren’t they,” he said.  He was right. I should have ignored the green peg stains on the laundry.  An English garden should be shades of moss and grassy green, rich umber soil and brick red walls weighed down with an atmosphere of dense and heavy greyish white.

        After Grandma died and Mop had retired (I always called him Mop, nobody knows why) at 10:00am precisely Mop would  have a cup of instant coffee with evap. At lunch, a bowl of tinned vegetable soup in his special soup bowl, and a couple of Krackawheat crackers and a lump of mature Cheddar. It was a job these days to find a tasty cheddar, he’d say.

        When he was working, and he worked until well into his seventies, he took sandwiches. Every day he had the same sandwich filling: a combination of cheese, peanut butter and marmite.  It was an unusal choice for an otherwise conventional man.  He loved my grandmothers cooking, which wasn’t brilliant but was never awful. She was always generous with the cheese in cheese sauces and the meat in meat pies. She overcooked the cauliflower, but everyone did then. She made her gravy in the roasting pan, and made onion sauce, bread sauce, parsley sauce and chestnut stuffing.  She had her own version of cosmopolitan favourites, and called her quiche a quiche when everyone was still calling it egg and bacon pie. She used to like Auntie Daphne’s ratatouille, rather exotic back then, and pronounced it Ratta Twa.  She made pizza unlike any other, with shortcrust pastry smeared with tomato puree from a tube, sprinkled with oregano and great slabs of cheddar.

        The roast was always overdone. “We like our meat well done” she’d say. She’d walk up the garden to get fresh mint for the mint sauce and would announce with pride “these runner beans are out of the garding”. They always grew vegetables at the top of the garden, behind the lawn and the silver birch tree.  There was always a pudding: a slice of almond tart (always with home made pastry), a crumble or stewed fruit. Topped with evap, of course.

        #6214
        AvatarJib
        Participant

          When Finnley got out of her full body bathing suit, Liz gaped at her.

          “It appears your suit wasn’t that waterproof after all. You should have kept the receipt. Now you can’t ask for a refund.”

          Finnley rolled her eyes while sending daggers. Liz caught them in extremis with her pen and put them down in writing at the end of her pink notebook for later reference. She thought maybe they could be an appropriate prop for the family betrayal she planned to write about in her next chapter. Daggers between the shoulder blades were always a nice effect.

          “I don’t need a receipt, I ordered them online.”

          “What do you mean? What does she mean Gordon? She looks so mad, she won’t answer me… and stop eating those bloody nuts. That’s not good for your cholesterol.”

          “Actually that’s the reverse,” said Gordon.

          “Stop eating them! I find the crunching noise and the movement of your tongue on your teeth disturbing.”

          “She means she kept the email with the e-receipt. Knowing her she’s probably kept it in the trash for safekeeping.”

          Finnley threw another pair of daggers.

          “Ouch!” Gordon said.

          “You deserved that,” said Liz. “You were mean. Now I need to talk to Godfrey. He’ll know the answers, he always know. Where is he?”

          “Just behind you. I’m always behind you.”

          “Don’t say that, it can be misinterpreted. Anyway, can you answer the question?”

          “She kept the email with the e-receipt in her trash can. You know, it’s an internet thing. Like the writing workshop you asked me to help you organise.”

          “Oh! I totally forgot about that.”

          “You have 57 inscriptions. The chat session starts in 5, no 7 minutes. Should I be worried?”

          “No you shouldn’t. Just do the typing for me please. You type faster than me, I’m still doing it with one finger, well two actually, now I can use both hands.”

          “Okay, you’ll speak to me as if you were speaking to them and I shall write down your words faithfully.”

          “You can do the speaking too, dear. Godfrey, you’ve known me for so long, you know better than me what I’m going to say.”

          Liz looked at Finnley’s blue hands and turned back to Godfrey. “Oh, and before you do that, prepare some cucumbers slice, I need a power nap.”

          #6175

          “”Sorry, I’m only just telling you this about the note now, lovie. Your Grandma’s been on at me to tell you. Just in my thoughts I mean!” he added quickly.

          Jane smirked and tapped her forehead. “Careful, Old Man. She’ll think you’ve completely lost it!”

          Clara stared at him, a small frown creasing her brow. “So, the note said you were to call him?”

          Bob nodded uneasily. Clara had that look on her face. The one that means she aren’t happy with the way things are proceeding.

          “And then what?” asked Clara slowly.

          “I dunno.” Bob shrugged. “Guess they’d bury it again? They was pretty clear they didn’t want it found. Now, how about I put the kettle on?” Bob stood quickly and began to busy himself filling the jug with water from the tap.

          Clara shook her head firmly. “No.”

          “No to a cup of tea?”

          “No we can’t call this man.”

          “I don’t know Clara. It’s getting odd it is. Strangers leaving maps in collars and whatnot. It’s not right.”

          “Well, I agree it needs further investigation. But we can’t call him … not without knowing why and what’s in it.” She tapped her fingers on the table. “I’ll try and get hold of Nora again.”

          #6162

          When Clara remembered who it was she knew in that little village, she realized she didn’t know how to contact him. She didn’t even know his name;  he made gargoyles and stone heads and statues, that was all she knew, and all the strange rumours and stories surrounding some of those statues, quite a local legend in a way. But what was his name?  He had a white donkey….

          Clara assured Nora that her friend was expecting her, keeping her fingers crossed that she would be able to find out who it was, contact him and ask for his assistance, before Nora arrived there.  It was a long shot, admittedly.

          By nightfall, Clara had not made contact, and was forced to rely on a miracle; or even to wash her hands of the whole thing: it was Noras’s trip after all.

          #6153

          “That horsetail has such long roots, otherwise I never would have dug so deep,” mused Clara. “Are you okay holding that end? Not too heavy for you?”

          Grandpa Bob grunted. The box was heavy—in more ways than one—but he wasn’t about to let Clara know he wasn’t up to it.

          “Let’s put it down there behind the lawn mower,” said Clara. “Do you think it will be safe there? We could cover it?” She ran her hand appreciatively over the shiny exterior  of the box; her fingers paused inquisitively at one end and she peered closely at the spot. “I think there is something here … an inscription or something!”

          “Probably just some old scratches,” muttered Grandpa Bob. He straightened up with a moan and rubbed his back.

          “No, look!” Clara was shining her phone torch at the area. “Look, it’s definitely letters of some sort. I’ll take a photo for Alienor!”

          #6120

          In reply to: Tart Wreck Repackage

          After a minute or two of Tara banging on about morse code, Star gave up. “Okay, have it your way, Tara. I’ve got important stuff to do.”

          “Bugger off, then,” said Tara. “I’m going to have a few more gin and tonics before my hair appointment. Wish me luck!”

          As Star turned to leave, she tripped on Tara’s oversized handbag—goodness only knows what she kept in it— and crashed into an ornamental pot-plant revealing none other than Auntie April.

          “Oh, my!” said April with an embarrassed titter. “Fancy meeting you two here!”

          Tara leapt up. “You were spying on us! We are the spies!” She jabbed an accusing finger at April. “How dare you be the spy!”

          “How dare YOU!” said April, scrambling over the fallen pot-plant in her haste to get away.

          “HOW DARE YOU!” shouted Tara. She lunged at the fleeing April and managed to grab hold of her jacket.

          “Look!” cried Star. “On her shoulder! A bell-bird.”

          #6111

          In reply to: Scrying the Word Cloud

          TracyTracy
          Participant

            thought cult ask nice

            soon lack aunt garden

            half understand tea fancy

            finger snoot boredom

            mad mind matter ladies

            young sun

            waiting crazy sorry

            worry seems nice rosamund

            fresh local mind

            mad strong character

            luck fact enjoy

            hardly sitting matter

            #6107

            In reply to: Tart Wreck Repackage

            Star paused in the lobby. “I need some more persuading,” she said. “What if she dies in that wardrobe? What will we do with the body? Or, worse, what if she doesn’t die and sues us?”

            Tara decided to ignore Star’s dubious reasoning; after all it was late. “She’s probably going to sue anyway,” said Tara morosely. “Another night won’t make any difference.”

            “I’m going back. I can’t leave Rosamund to face the consequences of our drunken stupidity.” Star headed defiantly towards the stairs; the lift was out of order, again. “We would have to be on the eight bloody floor,” she muttered. “You do what you like,” she flung over her shoulder to Tara.

            Tara sighed. “Wait up,” she shouted.

            Star was relieved that Tara decided to follow. The building was scary at night – the few tenants who did lease office space, were, much like themselves, dodgy start-ups that couldn’t afford anything better. Missing bulbs meant the lighting in the stairwell was dim, and, on some floors, non-existent.

            “I’m amazed they managed to bring that wardrobe up,” puffed Tara. “Just slow down and let me get my breath will you, Star.”

            “My gym membership is really paying off,” said Star proudly. “Come on,Tara! just one floor to go!”

            As they approached the door to their office, they paused to listen. “Can you hear something … ?” whispered Star.

            “Is it … singing?”

            “That’s never Rosamund singing. She’s got a voice like … well let’s just say you wouldn’t wish it on your worst enemy.”

            “I’m going in,” hissed Tara and flung open the door.

            “Don’t come any closer!” cried a woman in a mink coat; she did make a peculiar sight, surrounded by empty pizza boxes and brandishing a broom. “And you, shut up!” she said reaching out to bang the wardrobe with her broom. There were muffled cries from within, and then silence.

            “Was that you singing?” asked Star in her most polite voice.

            “Yes, what’s it to you?”

            “It was rather… lovely.”

            The woman smirked. “I was rehearsing.”

            “We are awfully sorry about locking you in the wardrobe. We thought you were a masked intruder.”

            “Well, I’m not. I am Rosamund’s Aunt April, and you …” she glowered at Star … “should have recognised me, seeing as how I am your cousin.”

            “Oh!” Star put her hand to her head. “Silly me! Of course, Cousin April! But I have not seen you for so many years. Not since I was a child and you were off to Europe to study music!”

            Tara groaned. “Really, Star, you are hopeless.”

            Loud banging emanated from the wardrobe followed by mostly unintelligible shouting but it went something like: “Bloody-let-me-out-or-I-will-friggin-kill-you-stupid-bloody-tarts!”

            “It wasn’t really Rosamund’s fault,” said Star. “I don’t suppose we could …?”

            April nodded. “Go on then, little fool’s learnt her lesson. The cheek of her not letting me have pineapple on my pizza.”

            “About bloody time,” sniffed Rosamund when the door was opened. She made a sorry sight, mascara streaked under her eyes and her red fingernails broken from where she had tried to force the door.

            “Now, then,” said Tara decisively, “now we’ve said our sorries and whatnot, what’s all this really about, April?”

            April crinkled her brow.”Well, as I may of mentioned on the phone, my husband, Albert — that’s your Uncle Albie,” she said to Rosamund, “is cheating on me. He denies it vehemently of course, but I found this note in his pocket.” She reached into her Louis Vuitton hand-bag and pulled out a sheet of paper. “That’s his handwriting and the paper is from the Royal Albert Hotel. He was there on a business trip last month.” Her face crumpled.

            “Chin up,” said Tara quickly, handing April a tissue from the desk. “What does the note say?”. Really, this case did seem a bit beneath them, a straightforward occurrence of adultery from the sounds.

            April sniffed. “It says, meet you at the usual place. Bring the money and the suitcase and I will make it worth your while.”

            “Let me see that,” said Rosamund, snatching the note from April. She reached into the front of her tee-shirt and pulled out another crumpled note which had been stuffed into her bra. She smirked. “I found this in the wardrobe. I was keeping it secret to pay you back but … ” She brandished both notes triumphantly. “The handwriting is the same!”

            “What does your note say, Rosamund?” asked Star.

            “It says, If you find this note, please help me. All is not what it seems..”

            “Wow, cool!” said Tara, her face lit up. This was more like it!

            Star, noticing April’s wretched face, frowned warningly at Tara. “So,” she mused, “I suggest we explore this wardrobe further and see what we can find out.”

            #6026

            Dear Jorid Whale,

            My hands are shaking while I type this on the keyboard.

            I’m not sure which of last night’s dreams is the bizarrest. Bizarre in a fantastic way, although for certain people it might be called grotesque. I’m certain it has something to do with that book I ordered online last week. I don’t usually read books and certainly not like this one. But the confinement, it makes you consider making things out of your ordinary.

            It’s called The Enchanted Forest of Changes, by a Chinese artist Níngméng (柠檬). They say his artist name means lemon, but that some of his friends call him Níng mèng 凝梦 (curdle dreams), which to my ears sound exactly the same except a little bit angrier. I found out about him on a forum about creepy dolls abandoned in forests all around the world. Yeah exactly, the confinement effect again. Apparently it started with a few dolls in a forest in Michigan, and then suddenly people started to find them everywhere. I wonder if some people are really into the confinement thing or if it’s just me using that as a reason to stay home.

            Anyway, someone on that forum posted one of the picture of that book and it caught my eye. So much so that I dreamt of it the following night. So I bought the book and it’s mostly ink drawings, but they seem to speak directly to some part of you that you were not even aware you had. I almost hear whispers when I look at the drawings. And then I have those dreams.

            Last night I dreamt of a cat that had been raised as a boy. He even had the shape of one, but shorter maybe. He had learned to talk and use his paws as hands, his claws had grown into fingers, had lost most of his fur and he was wearing clothes. If I was amazed by such a feat, it kinda seemed normal for the people I met in that dream. It just took a lot of efforts, love and dedication to raise this kind of children.

            And Whale, I feel tingling in my arms. This morning you showed me the picture of a kitten! That’s not a mere coincidence. I’m feeling so excited, my hands are too slow to type what I want to write. I fear I’m going to forget an important detail.

            About the second dream. The world was in shock, there was this giant… thing that looked like a pistil and that had grown during the night in some arid area. It was taller than the tallest human made tower. Its extremity was cone shaped, and I confess that the whole thing looked like some kind of dick to me.

            Plants and trees had followed in the following days as if the pistil had changed the climatic conditions (autocorrect wanted to write climactic, is that you playing around?).

            The pistil was protected by some kind of field and it couldn’t be approached by everyone. Governments had tried, pharmaceutical companies had tried. People who wanted to make gold out of it, they were all rejected. But for some reason some people could approach. Anyone, not just the pure of hearts or the noble ones. Actually a whole bunch of weirdoes started to take their chances. Some were allowed in and some where not. Nobody knew what was the deciding factor.

            A friend of mine that I have not seen in years during my waking life, she came back and asked me to come with her. So we went and were allowed in. My recall of the events after that is fuzzy. But I get the strange impression that I will spend more time in there later on.

            [Edited in the afternoon]

            I don’t believe it! It’s on the news everywhere. It has even replaced the news about the virus and the confinement.

            Giant pistils have appeared around the world, but it seems only people who had been infected can see them.

            Crazy rumours run on the internet. Giant mass hallucination caused by the virus. Some people say it’s alien technology, spores engineered to control our brains.

            There is one not so far from where I live. Should I wait for Kady to call me?

            #5964

            They walked through a labyrinth of tunnels which seemed to have been carved into a rocky mountain. The clicks and clacks of their high heels echoed in the cold silence meeting all of Sophie’s questions, leaving her wondering where they could be. Tightly held by her rompers she felt her fat mass wobbling like jelly around her skeleton. It didn’t help clear her mind which was still confused by the environment and the apparent memory loss concerning how she arrived there.

            Sophie couldn’t tell how many turns they took before Barbara put her six fingers hand on a flat rock at shoulders height. The rock around the hand turned green and glowed for two seconds; then a big chunk of rock slid to the side revealing a well designed modern style room.

            “Doctor, Sophie is here,” said Barbara when they entered.

            A little man was working at his desk. At least Sophie assumed it was his desk and that he was working. He was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and bermudas. The computer screen he was looking at projected a greenish tint onto his face, and it made him look just like the green man icon. Sophie cackled, a little at first.

            The Doctor’s hand tensed on the mouse and his eyebrows gathered like angry caterpillars ready to fight. He must have made a wrong move because a cascade of sound ending in a flop indicated he just died a death, most certainly on one of those facegoat addictive games.

            That certainly didn’t help muffle Sophie’s cackle until she felt Barbara’s six fingers seizing her shoulders as if for a Vulcan nerve pinch. Sophie expected to lose consciousness, but the hand was mostly warm, except for that extra finger which was cold and buzzing. The contact of the hand upon the latex gave off little squeaky sounds that made Sophie feel uncomfortable. She swallowed her anxiety and wished for the woman to remove her hand. But as she had  noticed more than once, wishes could take time and twists before they could be fulfilled.

            “Why do you have to ruin everything every time?” asked the Doctor. His face was now red and distorted.

            “Every time?” said Sophie confused.

            “Yes! You took your sleeper agent role too seriously. We couldn’t get any valuable intel and the whole doll operation was a fiasco. We almost lost the magpies. And now, your taste for uncharted drugs, which as a parenthesis I confess I admire your dedication to explore unknown territories for science… Anyway, you were all day locked up into your boudoir trying to contact me while I just needed you to look at computer screens and attend to meetings.”

            Sophie was too shocked to believe it. How could the man be so misinformed. She never liked computers and meetings, except maybe while looking online for conspiracy theories and aliens and going to comiccons. But…

            “Now you’re so addict to the drugs that you’re useless until you follow our rehab program.”

            “A rehab program?” asked Sophie, her voice shaking. “But…” That certainly was the spookiest thing she had heard since she had arrived to this place, and this made her speechless, but certainly not optionless. Without thinking she tried a move she had seen in movies. She turned and threw her mass into Barbara. The two women fell on the cold floor. Sophie heard a crack before she felt the pain in her right arm. She thought she ought to have persevered in her combat training course after the first week. But life is never perfect.

            “Suffice!” said the Doctor from above. “You’ll like it with the other guests, you’ll see. All you have to do is follow the protocol we’ll give you each day and read the documentation that Barbara will give you.”

            Sophie tried a witty answer but the pain was too much and it ended in a desperate moan.

            #5953

            Bubbling and turning from orange to green to duck blue, the potion was perfect and smelled of good work, a strong blend of cinnamon, cardamom and crushed cloves. She smiled broadly and poured the potion into five vials, which she gave to Rukshan. They were all gathered around her in the kitchen looking rather fascinated by the whole operation.

            “One for you, and one for each of the children,” Glynis said with a grin.

            “I’m not a kid,” said Fox.

            “Why only five?” asked Gorrash who suspected something was off. “We are Six. There’s Tak, Nessy, Olliver, Fox, Rukshan and I,” he said counting on his chubby fleshy fingers.

            “I don’t need a potion to go wherever I want,” said Olli with a grin.

            “Well,” started Glynis, “Despite your unique skill, Olliver, you still need the potion in order to thwart the control spells Leroway’s saucerers had scattered around the country,” Glynis said. “You all remember what happened to aunt Eleri last time she went out. You know how skilled she is when she need to sneak out. She barely escaped and Rukshan and I had a hard time turning off that dancing spell, which I’m sure is the least damaging one.”

            She looked at Gorrash with compassion but the light dimmed as a cloud passed in front of the sun outside. She pointed her finger at him. “Your immune system is still like one of a newborn. And I’d prefer you’d stay home and not go around during a beaver fever pandemic. There are plenty of things you can help me with!” Glynis showed the cauldron, vials and other utensils she used to make the potion, and the cake earlier, and yesterday’s dinner.

            “Well, if I have not to challenge my immune system…” Gorrash started.

            “You know better than to argue with me,” she said.

            Gorrash opened his mouth to say something but decided otherwise and ran away into the garden.

            Fox started to follow him.

            “Don’t said Rukshan. There’s nothing you can do.”

            “He’s my friend!” said Fox.

            #5951

            The latex rompers were shaping her old body in a way she quite enjoyed. It was like being back in her… she counted on her fingers to be sure. To be even surer she counted twice. Yes! It was like being back in the sixties, especially with the choice of colours that had been made by whomever had made the rompers. Her silhouette looked gorgeous, if you didn’t pay too much attention to the bingo wings and the pelican throat. She laughed. It was like seeing a superposition of a younger and an older self. She would have loved the face of Ricardo if he saw her like that. And the beehive haircut, it certainly was a good idea. She wondered if she was still under LSD. But the walls and the beehive hair seemed too solid for that.

            A sliding door that she had not noticed before opened.

            “Good to see you’re settling in,” said the woman who entered with a puff of bacon smell. “I’m Barbara.” She was holding a tray with a steaming plate of sweet peas and carrots. Sophie always had a sharp eye but couldn’t see any real bacon among the peas and the carrots. She smiled to the newcomer anyway. Barbara had the same latex rompers with the same colours. And she had a beehive haircut.

            “Hello! Barbara,” said Sophie. “I like that name. I knew a man once… well not that you’re a man. Are you? Anyway I see you have a beehive haircut too. Am I back in the sixties?” She realised she was a bit confused, not able to finish one sentence or follow a single narrative. But the smell of bacon was so unnerving.

            Barbara put the tray on the table.

            “Well, no,” she said to Sophie. “It’s just a haircut that I like and it’s very practical for all sort of things.” She reached into hers and got out a pen and a notebook. Sophie lifted her hand to her haircut.

            “Do I have?..”

            “No dear. But, I need your sign here… just a formality.” Barbara smiled and handed the notebook to Sophie along with the pen. Then she crossed her arms waiting. Her fingers were drumming on her soft pale skin and Sophie couldn’t help but notice that Barbara had six fingers on one of her hands.

            “Where am I?” she asked.

            #5834
            TracyTracy
            Participant

              Shaking, Liz wiped the egg yolk out of the corner of her eye. The beer that was gluing her hair into sticky clumps would have to wait. She flicked a half sausage off the corner of her desk with a tremulous sigh and sat down. Her noble features creased into a momentary visage of despair when she saw the bacon, but her natural stoicism corrected her expression as she picked the rasher up between her thumb and finger, removed if from her keyboard and blithely flicked it over her shoulder.

              Roberto, standing silently behind her, ducked nimbly as the greasy slab flew past.  It stuck to the French window briefly and then slithered down, leaving a snail trail of lard.

              Liz cleared her throat and looked sternly at each of them in turn.

              “What,” she said, her voice cracking, “What next? Whatever next?”

              “A whale, maybe?” asked Godfrey with a lop sided smirk.

              #5788

              The first thing the dwarf did was a finger of honor. “Take that darn blubbit queen!” he shouted before he crumbled butt naked down on the wooden floor surrounded by his former golden carapace. His skin was still glowing with a strange lucent light.

              “What did he say?” asked Fox.

              “What’s a blubbit?” asked Olliver.

              Glynis put her hands on the baby snoots eyes, but there were too many of them and she only had two hands.

              “Have you seen his skin?” asked Eleri.

              “Well yes, he’s butt naked,” said Kumihimo.

              Gorrash had had time to clear his mind and started to realise they were all looking at him.

              “I mean, he HAS a skin now,” insisted Eleri. “Smooth and… all that comes with it. Not his former rocky mossy textured whatever it was before even after daylight.”

              The dwarf who never had to worry about his own modesty before couldn’t quite grasp the meaning of that simple fact. “Am I still dreaming?” His stomach growled and he looked surprised at his belly. “Am I starving?” Fox laughed.

              Glynis brought the dwarf a blanket, and he marvelled at the roughness of it on his new skin. They all started to talk at the same time, wanting to know about the blubbits, about the new skin, asking Kumihimo and Rukshan how it was possible.

              “I don’t know,” they both said.

              “Well! I don’t know about you, but now that he has skin he can certainly appreciate some champagne with us!” said Margoritt, trotting to the kitchen. She came back with a bottle and a sabre. “Who wants to crack it open?”

              “Don’t forget the food,” said Glynis. “It’ll be his first time eating.” Olliver brought some leftovers of Jambalaya, salad and cheese among other things.

              “How can he eat so much?” would ask Eleri later.

              #5671
              AvatarJib
              Participant

                With her pink glove on and her lips apart, Liz passed her finger on the bookshelf. Making the most of the opportunity of Finnley’s excursion outside, Liz had pretexted she wanted to show Roberto how to check for dust. In truth, but she would never confess to it, except to Godfrey after a few drink and some cashew nuts later that day, in truth she had bought a new pink uniform for the gardener/handyman and wanted to see how it fitted him. Of course, she had ordered a few sizes under, so Roberto’s muscles bulged quite nicely under the fabric of the short sleeves, stretching the seam in a dangerously exciting way.

                “What’s this book?” asked Roberto.

                “What?” asked Liz who had been lost in one of the worst case scenario. Why would Roberto talk about something as undersexying as a book? Nonetheless, without wanting to, her eyes followed the gardener’s sexy arm down to his sexy finger pointing at the book spine and her brain froze on the title: “An Aesthetic of the Night Mare“, by Vanina Vain.

                “What’s this book doing among my personal work?” she asked, all sexying forgotten.

                “Don’t you remember?” asked Godfrey who happened to pass behind her. “Years ago when you still read your fanmail you answered one from a young girl wanting to follow in your footsteps. You sent her a handwritten copy of Rilke’s letter to a young poet. I wrote it myself and Finnley signed it for you. She’s so good at imitating your signature. Well anyway a few years later that girl finally published her first book and sent you a copy to thank you.”

                “Have I read it?” Liz asked.

                “You might have. But I’m not sure. It’s quite Gothic. The girl takes advantage of her sleep paralysis at night to do some crazy experiences.”

                Liz had no recollection whatsoever of it, but that was not the point.

                “Tsk. What’s it doing among my personal work bookshelves? Don’t we have somewhere else to put that kind of…”

                “The trash you mean?” asked Finnley.

                “Oh! You’re back”, said Liz.

                “Tsk, tsk. Such disappointment in your voice. But I’m never far away, and luckily for some”, she added with a look at Roberto who was trying to stretch the sleeve without breaking the seam.

                #5648

                It was the new moon. Rukshan had been walking into the dark of the forest for some time. The noises of nocturnal animals felt like deep silence after his return from the land of the Giants. There, day and night, the giants were restless. You could hear them growling and shouting. It didn’t matter if it was a nasty fight or a friendly brawl, the noise had been taxing for his nerves and his right eye was still twitching randomly.

                Rukshan stopped a moment. The silence almost made him cry of relief and he thought in that moment the enchanted forest deserved its name.

                He took a deep breath. His nose wiggled, tickled by the scent of smoke from a fire. He was close to his destination, then. He had been following symbols traced with moon paint on the trees, a trail that only his Fae eyes could see even without moonlight. Humans would not to see it the same way. This trail of symbols might even have been left for him by someone who wanted  to be found when he would come back.

                Rukshan had found the start of the trail by chance behind the cottage after diner today. He had told Glynis he needed fresh air. The truth was that he had been alone for so long now that having so many people around him made him feel a bit claustrophobic. He had spotted was a faint glow behind a jasmin bush and had thought it was one of the baby snoots. As he was feeling the need for some pet company he had walked up to the bush. Instead of a creature there was the first glowing symbol, a spiral with seven sticks that looked like a hand with seven fingers. Not long after Rukshan had found another symbol, and another. It was clear the hands made a trail for him to follow. So he had followed.

                Soon, he found a wooden shack. Smoke was coming out of a hole in its roof and light from the windows. Rukshan could hear two people talking together. One was asking questions and the other answering them. He recognised the voices.

                He didn’t bother to knock on the door.

                “So that’s where you’ve been going every night after diner”, Rukshan said to Fox.

                “I’ve been waiting for you”, said Kumihimo the shaman.

                “I’m her new apprentice”, said Fox. “You’ve been away for so long”, he added as if apologising for something.

                A wet and warm thing touched Rukshan’s hand. Ronaldo the donkey brayed to welcome him. “Of course you are here too”, said the Fae. He found an apple he had put in his pocket after diner and gave it to the donkey. Ronaldo rolled up its chops and gave a heehaw full of joy, sparkles in its eyes.

                “Good, you haven’t forgotten good manners”, said the shaman. “Now, seat! We have much to talk about.”

                #5584
                TracyTracy
                Participant

                  May quickly realized that she hadn’t planned this out properly at all. While Norma was fishing in her handbag for paper tissues, May switched the glasses of wine, so that she had the one with the laxatives herself. It wasn’t fair to inflict that on Norma, who was already verging on distraught. And May was feeling bloated anyway. A good clear out wouldn’t do her any harm.

                  May listened with genuine sympathy to Norma’s distress at being mistreated, but a glance at the kitchen clock prompted her to interrupt.

                  “Gotta go to the john,” she said, wondering if she had the vernacular right. She had almost said “must pop to the loo”, but that was the kind of lingo she used on the previous mission.  She had to send her finance a message. The rendezvous with the spinach pot was off.  Closing the bathroom door behind her, she reached for her phone and tapped the coded message.

                  iggi nefa san forlik snoodetta

                  Almost immediately there was a reply. No coded message this time, it was just a rolling eyes icon.  May sighed with relief. What had she been thinking to plan such a thing, on such short notice?

                  Norma watched May leave the room, a little frown furrowing her brow. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but she felt uneasy. May was acting guilty. Why? Without even knowing why she did it, she swapped her wine glass for the other one.  Immediately feeling appalled at such a silly impulse, she reached to swap them back, but it was too late.   May burst into the room, beaming.

                  Norma was taken aback at the difference in May’s demeanour, which threw her into a mental quandary.  Had she mistaken a discomfort due to the need to use the lavatory for a guilty conscience?  And that impulse to switch the glasses!

                  “Well, cheers!” she said shakily, holding up the wine glass and then draining it.

                  “Bottoms up!” replied May, following suit.

                  #4854
                  F LoveF Love
                  Participant

                    “Nothing injured here,” said Agent X brushing himself down. “What is your status, Agent V?”

                    “Hunky dory.” She extricated her tee shirt from a branch and inspected a deep red scrape on her arm. Her eyes circled the small clearing in which they had landed. If landed isn’t too grand a word.

                    “Lots of trees,” she said.

                    Agent X started heading towards a particularly dense area of bush. “This way to destination D,” he said brightly. “No time to lose.”

                    I wonder what I ever saw in him,” mused V. Although he does have quite a nice butt.

                    They had only trekked a few hundred meters when Agent X stopped abruptly. “Shush,” he whispered, holding his finger to his lips. “Do you hear something?”

                    #4853

                    “He said he would come in 3 days only.” Fox said, not knowing whether it was too early or too late to rejoice.
                    “That would have been Lheimoong’s birthday, the great Tribeltian philosopher.” Glynis said, as she tasted the sour milk from Emma the goat. She made a face. It was perfectly tart to mature into a fine cheese.
                    “Pity though,” she mused licking her finger, “he’s been oddly quiet lately, though I’m sure his wisdom continues to guide us.”

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