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  • #2434

    “These old ezines and blogs are fascinating” remarked Periwinkle, passing the one she had just been reading to Daffodil. “Thank goodness some folks had the foresight to print some of them!” :news:

    “I know, imagine if they hadn’t. We’d have no artefacts for the collection. Well, we have all those flat discs, but no way to decipher them. Oh, did I tell you? Bignonia found something even older than the discs!” :search:

    “NO!” exclaimed Periwinkle “Do tell!” :yahoo_surprise:

    “Yes, even older! Funny looking contraption, with two reels and a ribbon. An information storage device, so they say, although they haven’t discovered how to decipher it.” :yahoo_nerd:

    “I wonder why we’re still not simply accessing that information without, well, without messing around with the physical contraption, you know?” :yahoo_idk:

    “Wouldn’t be any point in being here in the first place, if we weren’t going to mess around with physical things, silly” replied Daffodil. :yahoo_doh:

    There was no answer to that, so Periwikle didn’t answer. She continued to thumb through the printed pages. :news:

    Periwinkle and Daffodil sat together on the patio in the warm spring sunshine, sipping lemonade :fruit_lemon:
    and leafing through the papers. Bright white clouds in cartoon shapes romped across the blue sky, :weather-few-clouds:
    and the birds chattered in the trees, :magpie: :magpie:
    occasionally landing on the printed pages and cocking their heads sideways to read for a moment, before flying off to tell their friends, which was usually followed by a raucous group cackling. :yahoo_heehee: :yahoo_heehee: :yahoo_heehee:

    “Dear Goofenoff” read Daffodil, “This one looks interesting Peri, someone here is asking for advice on a problem.” :help:

    “What’s a “problem”, Daffy?” asked Periwinkle. “For that matter, what does the word “advice” mean? Oh, never mind” she said as she noticed Daffodil rolling her eyes, “I’ll look it up in my pre shift dictionary of defunct words.” :notepad:

    “She’s asking the Snoot too, about the same problem. Oh, I think I’ve heard of them! It’s coming back to me, the old Snoot’n‘Goof team, they were quite famous in the beginning of the century, I remember hearing about them before in a Shift History discussion.” :cluebox:

    “Well, I can’t say I’ve ever heard of them, but then, I’ve never been into history like you, dear. So what is this “problem” all about, then?” :yahoo_daydreaming:

    “I’ll read it out to you, it’s way too convoluted to put in a nutshell. Lordy, they sure did complicate matters back then, it’s almost unbeleivable, really, but anyway, here goes:

    Dear Goofenoff,

    I don’t know what to do! I am confused about which probable version of a blog freind, let’s call him MrZ, I have chosen to align with. The first probable version was ok, nothing to worry about, and then I drew into my awareness the probable versions of MrZ that some of my freinds had chosen to align with….”

    “Blimey”, interrupted Periwinkle, who was starting to fidget. “Is it much longer?” :yahoo_not_listening:

    “It’s alot longer, so be patient. Where was I? Oh yes: :yahoo_nerd:

    “….and while that was very interesting indeed, and led to lots of usefully emotionally heated discussions, I started to align with their probable version, at times, although not consistently, which led to some confusion. So then I had a chat with someone who was more in alignment with my original probable version, although there were aspects of that probable version that were a little in alignment with the other folks probable version, notwithstanding. I suppose I was still in alignment with the other folks probable version when it came to my attention that there was another individual that might be aligning with a probable version, and my question is, in a nutshell, is it any of my business which probable version the new individual on the scene is aligning with?” :yahoo_thinking:

    “Well, I can tell you the answer to that!” exclaimed Periwinkle. :yahoo_smug:

    Daffodil rolled her eyes. “Yes, dear, WE know the answer, but the point is, SHE didn’t know the answer at the time, which is why she asked Goofenoff.” :yahoo_straight_face:

    “If you ask me, she knew the answer all along” Periwinkle intuited. “What did Goofenoff say anyway?” :yahoo_eyelashes:

    “He said:

    Are you requiring a short or a long answer?” :yahoo_raised_eyebrow:

    Daffodil turned the page to continue reading. She frowned, and flicked through a few pages.

    “What a shame, some of these pages appear to be missing! Now we’ll never know what Goofenoff said.” :yahoo_skull:

    Periwinkle laughed. “Well, never mind that anyway, have you seen the random story quote today? Rather synchronistic I’d say, listen to this bit: :paperclip:

    Illi felt much better, and was sitting at the breakfast table, basking in the warm shafts of sunlight filtering in through the window, and listening to the birds singing in the lemon tree outside.”
    :weather-clear: :magpie: :fruit_lemon: :weather-few-clouds:

    #2432

    Did you notice that, Pee? THE CODE HAS BEEN TAMPERED WITH AGAIN!

    Isn’t it back to how it was in the first place, Doily? Pee scatched his, er, shoulders. (he couldn’t remember if he had his head with him or not)

    NO! It bloody well isn’t, it’s a good jib I’m here with you, you’d have been hoodwinked just like the others. It’s MEANT to look like it’s as it was, but it isn’t, Doily said grimly.

    What was it in the first place, then? asked Pee.

    Buggered if I know, replied Doily, scratching her elbow.

    #2078

    In reply to: Scrying the Word Cloud

    TracyTracy
    Participant

      fun summer somewhat hand free random wish heard whispered seen yurick alone life hear suppose raucous

      :yahoo_devil:

      “surprise others!”

      :yahoo_skull:

      “cave heads suddenly body!”

      :yahoo_party:

      “sudden self popped!”“ come words, following wondered told often; replied:

      :yahoo_chatterbox: :yahoo_waiting: :yahoo_ttth: :yahoo_not_listening: :yahoo_big_hug: :yahoo_dontwannasee:

      ~ “thinking thank fingers!” ~

      certainly thread moment, perhaps lovely away…..
      :creating_magic:

      #2422

      “Oooh, poetry! I likes poetry and all, our Sha” replied Mavis. “There once was a grumpy old cat…”

      Sharon groaned.

      #2417

      “Now you’ve gorn and done it! They’ll all know that Shar is really one of ‘them that shan’t be joked about’!” exclaimed Mavis.

      “What the fuck are you on about, our Mavis?” asked Gloria. “You mean the Shards what started off as Windows? Is our Sha one of them Shards then, what’s doing them chemtrails?”

      Mavis gasped in horror. “You mustn’t talk about the Shards like that” she whispered, looking nervously behind her.

      “I happen to know that this is the Lupin Express” replied Gloria, who was transitioning strongly.

      #2075

      In reply to: Scrying the Word Cloud

      TracyTracy
      Participant

        Although done,
        Stranger, mother, everyone, creature
        looks attention:
        Girl, perfect black.
        Ask, perhaps himself free?
        Smile rude.
        Notice Leormn Fellowship Idea,
        “Eye write”
        Box teleport.
        Heard wonder, let Sharon replied.
        Random asked matter:
        Strange sudden (usually inside) particular finally… surely feeling sound, following home… clear…

        Realized, somewhat
        Hear happy laugh
        Mention hot ones
        Magic voice
        :creating_magic:

        #2069

        In reply to: Scrying the Word Cloud

        TracyTracy
        Participant

          wonder free dancing

          *note: toot certain, usually quickly.

          Hot gift heads deep,
          Lady professor;
          Clue stranger,
          Next portal
          retorted
          voice taken
          replied threads.

          Thank Sanso :yahoo_whew:

          #2653

          In reply to: Strings of Nines

          “The dream of caves in which I wander comes nightly now. Minkah has never appeared again.”

          “He never did, did he?” interuppted Godfrey. “Minky I mean.”

          “Oh yes he did!” replied Elizabeth, and continued to read the email from Hypatia. “ But each night I find myself lost there and each night I search for a child. So odd, so odd, as I know I will never give life to another.”

          “Where is Yikesy, anyway?” asked Godfrey.

          “With Minky, of course!”

          #2405

          “These tapas are lovely, eh, Leo, what are they?” asked Bea.

          “Arana Rebozada, whatever that is, some kind of squid I suppose, nice and crunchy anyway, whatever it is” replied Leo, who couldn’t remember the names of any of the characters in the new thread either.

          Fishing into the depths of her capacious handbag, Bea pulled out a battered Spanish dictionary. “Oh here we are” she said, as she swallowed the last tasty morsel. “Breaded spiders.”

          :yahoo_sick:

          #2376

          “Now, steady on, folks! There’s no need to be rushing headlong into this, I think a little tete a tete is in order here before we all lose our heads completely.” Aunt Dolores de la Cabeza had arrived unexpectedly, and not a moment too soon. “Possibly a tad too late” she muttered, glancing around at the headless New Peaslanders and Saucerers. “This is a fine pickle, I must say.”

          Pickel beamed at his aunt. “Oh, I don’t mean you, you silly boy!” Dolores chucked him under the chin affectionately, except that he had no chin. “You’re a chinless wonder, m’lad”

          “I’m a girl, not a boy, Aunt Dolores” piped up Sis Lilly.

          “is that a fact, young lady? And since when do girls have blubbits in their knickers, hmmm?” replied Dolores tartly.

          Lilly started to cry. Well, Dolores assumed she was crying, although she wasn’t quite sure how she knew that. “A fine pickle indeed” she repeated, frowning.

          Pickel flushed with pride.

          :yahoo_blushing:

          #2347

          Ann realized she was late for her Flimsy Unravelled Continuity Knowledge class. A couple of months late, in point of fact, as Worserversity classes had resumed two months previously.

          “Where have you BEEN?” Lavender whispered as Ann slid as inconspicuously as possible into the seat beside her, while the professor at the front of the class was facing the blueboard.

          “Do I know you?” asked Ann, with a puzzled expression. The girl beside her did look vaguely familiar.

          “Oh how rude you are, Ann. Are you trying to be funny?”

          “Oh no, not at all!” Ann’s eyes filled with tears.

          Lavender frowned. It wasn’t like Ann to start blarting and blubbering in public. “What’s the matter?” she asked kindly.

          “I’ve lost my memory!” exclaimed Ann. “I can’t remember a thing!”

          “Oh, is that all,” replied Lavender dismissively. “I’d have thought you’d be used to that by now.”

          “No, no, you don’t understand! I can’t remember anything at all now, it’s all gone, poof! Gone!” Ann wept and started to wring her hands.

          “Well the first thing you need to do is stop that bloody snivelling and wipe your nose. Here” she said, handing Ann a tissue. “And the next thing you need to do is stop worrying about it, and just fake it until you get your memory back. Worrying about it won’t help, you must focus on the things you do remember.”

          “But it’s all jumbled up and muddled in my head, I remember bits, you know? But I can’t fit them all together. I CAN’T FIT THEM ALL TOGETHER!”

          SHHH!” snapped Lavender. “Try not to draw any attention to yourself! I’ll help you, don’t worry.”

          “You’re so kind” Ann smiled weakly. “What did you say your name was?”

          “Lavender. My name is Lavender, and I’m going to help you remember. Just remember this, for now: what you can’t remember, don’t worry about, the important thing is to carry on. Just CARRY ON REGARDLESS, ok?”

          “OK.” Ann sighed with releif. “What’s the Professor going on about?”

          “The next assignment. We’re to read that cryptic old classic book Circle of Eights and try to decipher it.”

          “Good greif! Nobody has ever managed to decipher that book!”

          “You see?” said Lavender. “You can remember that! Well done, girl!”

          #2346
          TracyTracy
          Participant

            “The fact of the matter, Finnley,” Liz whispered confidentially to her dear freind, “ is that I feel scared to say something discontinous now, which results in me saying nothing (or rather, not all that much).”

            “Leave it with me, Ann dear” replied the resourceful Finnley. “I’ll have a word with God about nonsense.”

            Liz” corrected Liz.

            “Oh dear. I think you’ve been infected with the continuity virus.” Finnley looked worried.

            #2343
            TracyTracy
            Participant

              “Serenely on her tiny loom she weaves her story with careful art.
              And who am I, with meddling pen to send it’s loveliness apart?

              For I, who am a weaver, too, look on that intricate design,
              And know its daft embroideries are just as beautiful as mine….”

              LizAnn read the poem out loud, subsituting a few words of her own, and pointed out to Godfrey the distinct lack of any mention of spiders.

              “We don’t have to include any actual spiders, Godfrey,” she said firmly. “Forget the spiders! We’re talking here about weaving a story from all the loose threads, not spinning a web with which to ensnare anyone. The myths” continued LizAnn, warming to the subject, “Concerning spiders and weaving are being rewoven anew. The Text Tiles are myriad, and all equally meaningless. The purpose of Text Tiles is no longer a sticky web of beleifs with which to ensnare the unsuspecting traveller, but a patchwork of …of….”

              “Lost your thread, LizAnn?” inquired Gordon, smugly.

              “You rude old coot” she replied, “Have some more peanuts, and allow me to finish.”

              “Finish? Well, that will be a first.”

              “What I was trying to say is that the weaving of the story can’t be contained inside the confines of the linearly constructed Reality Play. One only needs to focus on ones own weaving, in and out of the warped story, and the weft wide world outside, so to speak. The same principle applies to the other weavers and the Text Tile viewers. Each comment may be considerd to be a single Text Tile, or patchwork piece. These indiviual Text Tiles may be arranged in multitudes of ways according to the manner in which they are woven into an individuals own story weaving experience.”

              “That’s as may be, LizAnn, but what about loom weights? To anchor the warp? Or is it the weft…”

              #2777
              F LoveF Love
              Participant

                Sanso, flushed, was certainly an eye opener.

                The little girl starting to understand, replied with a very good question.

                “How do you know the center of everything?”

                Sanso was grinning. “I love goldfish!”

                “What do you mean?” Zhaana wasn’t sure.

                “They just appear so i notice them”, said Sanso. “Then you have some more peanuts”.

                #2336

                “I blame the Elsespace Arrangement” Monica said in response to Ann’s long winded diatribe. “Nothing’s been quite the same since it got so popular.”

                “You’ve got a point there, Mon” Ann agreed. “We didn’t used to have all these mix ups before, did we?”

                “Well speak for yourself, dear, I don’t get mixed up,” Monica said a trifle pompously.

                Not ‘arf you don’t, Ann said to herself, smiling sweetly at her freind.

                “I heard that” Monica replied.

                “Soory, Monica.” Oh my god, look at that typo. “Sorry Monica” Ann corrected herself. “The thing is, I’ve been feeling so odd lately. Disconnected, somehow. But the others seem to think they’ve been offending me, but it’s not that.”

                “Well, what is it then?” asked Monica kindly.

                “I’m not going to tell you. Ah ha ha ha ha.”

                #2328

                Ann spent the morning (or a mere half hour, if truth be told) enjoying her physicality in the gentle autumn morning sun before returning indoors. The drop in temperature was still new enough to remember to appreciate fully. She felt at peace with her world, a happy balance of words and sunbeams, that is until she perused the latest additions to the BA (Bash Ann, by the looks of things) group project.

                Ann frowned. Who the heck was Harvey? It was almost the last straw, despite Ann’s sunny mood. The very idea of trawling back through the paperwork to find out who he was, and indeed who everyone else was, was too daunting. “If it’s not fun don’t do it!” That’s what they all said. Over and over again they said “if it’s not fun don’t do it”.

                The writing was fun, and the random reading was fun, but it wasn’t fun ~ in fact, it gave her a headache ~ to try and remember who and when and where everyone was. Perplexed, Ann wondered if she simply wasn’t cut out for working in a group. On the other hand, she simply wasn’t a loner either.

                “Be remebering,” the disembodied voice whispered in her left ear, “That they are all YOU.”

                Oh! Right, yes….herm….well where does that leave me?

                “Right at the centre of it all, as always,” the voice replied.

                Er, so it’s all MY story, then? The whole thing is all me, all mine? All the characters are ME?

                “Quite!”

                So I can do whatever I want, then?

                “Of course!”

                Right then, so I can write whatever I want, which is fun, and not write what I don’t want, which isn’t fun, and that will be quite alright, will it?

                “Correct!” the voice chuckled indulgently. “And it may behoove you” it continued in a conspiratorial tone, “To remember than any flak from the others in the group, is in fact, YOU giving YOURSELF a flakking reflection.”

                Oh. Well Right Ho, then. Toot! Toot!

                #2326

                “That perhaps is your task” Virginia was whispering in Ann’s ear”…to find the relation between things that seem incompatible yet have a mysterious affinity, to absorb every experience that comes your way fearlessly and saturate it completely so that your poem is a whole, not a fragment; to re-think human life into poetry and so give us tragedy again and comedy by means of characters not spun out at length in the novelist’s way…”

                “Did you catch that, Walter? ‘Not spun out in the traditional lengthy continous way’ she’s saying.”

                “…but condensed and synthesized in the poet’s way—that is what we look to you to do now.”

                “I didn’t know you channeled Virginia Woolf, Ann,” replied Walter. “Doesn’t mean she is necesarily right, though, notwithstanding.”

                “I didn’t say she was ‘absolutely right’, Walter. I’m just pointing out what’s right for me.”

                Walter popped another anchovy stuffed olive into his mouth.

                #2324

                Ann slapped her forehead when she realized her mistake, notwithstanding that there were no ‘mistakes’ as such.

                The story is for the writer that writes it, not the reader.

                What the repercussions of that were for the future of publishing, Ann wasn’t quite sure.

                “Oh, I can answer that for you, dear” Lavender responded. “On my recent trip to the future I went to the Pick Your Own Pages book store. There’s a wonderful Pick ‘N’ Mix section, and a Lucky Dip. You can pick various quantities, such as chapters, pages, paragraphs or sentences, and you arrange them yourself.”

                “What a wonderful idea!” Ann replied.

                “Oh, the idea was an old one, very old!” Lavvie explained. “People were doing it all along, though they didn’t realize it. The idea of being spoon fed an entire story went out with the Ark. It was the advent of random quote generators that started the ball rolling.”

                Ann beatled off to check the random quote for the day….

                Arona! Sanso! Oh, how wonderful to see you guys again! Come and meet Lavender and Walter, we’re discussing continuity….”

                #2305

                Ann sighed. She suddenly realized that she’d spent the summer time travelling, back to the Summer Before the Great Shift Trauma. She’d completely forgotten that the Worserversity was Post Shift. Oh well, she would write a historical account of The Times Before The Great Trauma Started.

                “What Great Trauma?” asked Monica, who had been reading her mind again. “There was no Great trauma in MY shift experience.”

                “Really?” Ann was momentarily puzzled. “There wasn’t in mine either.”

                “If you’re going to write about trauma, you’ll have to make it all up.” Monica replied.

                “Why would I want to do that?” Ann was still puzzled.

                “For the fun of it?” Monica suggested.

                “Oh yes, of course…for the fun of it…”

                Ann was still puzzled.

                #2299

                “I wonder how high
                Is an ostriches eye…”

                “Yes” replied Flipswitch, somewhat obscurely.

                Ann was encouraged to continue, notwithstanding the enigmatic response from the professor.

                “Ellen Melon went to town
                To shop her felon hubby…”

                “And he said, Lovely Jubbly!
                I have no time
                to make this rhyme,
                I’m fishing with a zebra.”

                :buffoon:

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