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  • in reply to: The Eights’ Shift, Stories #2402

    “What?” The Majorburgmester of Peasland almost laughed of surprise at the incongruity of Fwick con Troll’s idea. “You’re telling that this…”

    “Little spider, yes”
    “Contains a potent venom that could wipe the blubbits off the face of Peasland?”
    “Absolutely, dear Majorburgmester”
    “Are you out of your Fwicking mind, Fwick? What breading this nasty spider could possibly bring us any better than a plague of crop-eating blubbits in rut?”
    “I was actually talking of breeding them, sir” Fwick objected
    The Mayor continued unperturbed “Besides, we already have our fierce constable Stoll drill the mythic Eight Dimension for answers.”
    “That would be placing a lot of trust in that foolish venture, I’m afraid to say, Majorburgmester. To date, very few people have managed to return safely.”
    “Oh, who cares if they ever bloody come back Fwick! Come on! All we need to do is extort the answers from his spouse who’s kept all their heads in a safe place, I have no doubt of that.”
    “Well… I wouldn’t place my head on this bet if I were you…”

    “Ah, bugger off then with your stinking spider, and do your bloody experiments… As long as it doesn’t involve my name, and especially in case any misguided and sad assassination should occur, ahahaha. I’m joking of course.” The Mayor’s face (which was framed and hanged on the wall of the Majorburgmester Hall’s main office) suddenly shut any hint of humanity that could have been left on it.

    in reply to: Yuki’s Livrary #1317
    ÉricÉric
    Keymaster

      January 21 st, 2010

      About Worlds creating and dreamwalking

      Has it occurred to you that your current technologies [such as social websites] are more than a little reflection of what you are doing as essence.
      It is more indeed, and very useful as an analogy.
      You have, for one, certainly noticed how different the “feel” of certain of these “sites” is, even when you are most of the time surrounded by the same set of friends and relationships? Yes you have.

      Let us call these sites “dimensions”. Yes, it sounds familiar, doesn’t it. You all participate in some manner into these, and you all have persona of yourself in various of these. They compete for your attention, and some of them are more popular than others —these are the ones which offer you the most fulfilling experience, not necessarily the most pleasant.

      In many ways, you connect as essence through these dimensions, which reveal aspects of your personalities, aspects that are not always visible or noticed in a direct interaction. When you congregate through these sites, you also start to realize, you have access to all of the others as essence, either through proxy of friends, or by direct interaction. You are all connected.

      They all have different rules, or shall we say, conventions; you can do certain things, certain others you cannot (or not yet), and others, you can, but they are not well tolerated or accepted.
      We let you do all the fine analogies, you mostly get the idea. The technical rules behind those sites are like your mass beliefs. They are helpful to maneuver your “avatar” —that focus of yourself inside the system— and without them, there would simply be no interest, no interaction, no experience.
      Of course, these beliefs can be bent ; with applications, made by these people wanting to develop new systems plugged into the architecture, to offer new functions, or interactions with others of these sites or dimensions.

      The creators of these dimensions are similar to dreamwalkers; some of them are bent on technology and development of the system at its core, but not all of them. Many in fact come with other intents, such as making the dimension a more beautiful, interactive, attractive or pleasant place. They all work together to bring the experience of the envisioned dimension to the other essences —and at some point, they also choose, themselves to interact, as a focus, fully part of their created dimension.

      Having that in mind, would it not seem natural that you would integrate more functionalities to these sites, if they respond to the promises of keeping focuses interested? What you call “upgrades” are in fact a major part of the conception of these dimensions, and occur quite frequently, either driven by popular demand, or by technical need.
      Such is the nature of the shift you are experiencing, which is above all a tremendous upgrade [of mass beliefs] towards a more integrated experience, without simply dropping the current dimension for another.

      We would finally like you to notice also that even if the biggest of these dimensions are calling for a great part of your attention, you also are attracted daily to countless others, little sites and areas, the purpose of which is different, but not less significant to your whole self.

      in reply to: The Eights’ Shift, Stories #2401

      In the Eighth Dimension, Harvey was contemplating the destiny of his quantum umbrella. It was a sad thing enough to need an umbrella (it was starting to rain all sorts of stuff again), but a quantum umbrella was all the worse. It was never in a definite state, and would appear and disappear from one of its state to the other without any notice.

      It had disappeared once again (to be left in the basket of a bicycle, Harvey believed) when Harvey noticed the detour it forced him to make to take cover had him pass in front of a board saying “The shortest distance between two points is not a straight line, it’s a dream (Indian Proverb)”

      A gift of the quantum umbrella, no doubt.

      in reply to: The Eights’ Shift, Stories #2399

      Meanwhile, in the orchard of Tilston Aches, where the travelling Peaslanders just arrived

      “I don’t know what’s brewing in this dimension, but I get a reaaaaally baaaaaaaaaad feeling…” the Aunties kept repeating gloomily to each other.

      in reply to: The Eights’ Shift, Stories #2398

      I ache all over… arrrrgghhhhhhhh Aspidistra was complaining on the phone all the while being intrigued by Harvey’s positively good mood.

      “Oh you know,” Harvey began to tell her “the secret of the hyper-mel mode (a.k.a. “HMM”) is to be happy and screaaaaaming at the top of your lungs all your merriness no matter whut.”
      “And of course,” he added, “punctuating it with occasional profuse weehooes (and some wheehoees now and then).”

      “Woa… I will need more coffee for that” she said yawning while Harvey was continuing “and put your hands in the air, your fingers mimicking stars glitter! Wheeeha katcha twinkle twinkleepooh!”

      “Oh, don’t mention hands, I dropped the milk twice this morning” Aspidistra was distraught again.

      “Owlright, and have you rejoiced on having milk spilled all over the goddess body?! Mmhhh? YES! YES!”

      “And I’ve got arthritis in my thumb!”

      “Uh-oh, arthritis… even better! rhymes with Weehooohees! … or giant squid… architeuthis!”

      “Achy tits, yeah…” she moaned plaintively. “And all that milk spilled with my poor thumbies…”

      “You see, you get the hang of it,” Harvey was bouncing “got to go dearee, spread the good joy,… see you soon! Weeee…”

      And off he was, hanging on Aspidistra while her ears where still full of the echoes of weehooees.

      in reply to: The Eights’ Shift, Stories #2397

      WEEE FREEEKING OOOooOOOHH!

      “Aaah, that feels better” he thought after a squab tubby lady, all pimped up like a stolen truck, came to ask him in a vulgar trailing voice of a transsexual hormonal troll if he had any carton box left up his nose (too bad he had not thought of asking her whether she had already looked up her ass).

      in reply to: The Eights’ Shift, Stories #2396

      Meanwhile somewhere else in the Eight’s, where the cuckoo sang the new year’s song

      Harvey had been quick to wish his friends Aspidistra a merry new year full of reindeer pee by the gallon dripping from the roof. That’s how they wished the best to their friends here. And sure he wanted the best for Aspidistra.

      Now he had to find the shaman, because that shadow leaping on the wall was that much he couldn’t bear. He had to buy that new light sprayer and have it cursed by the shaman of the Space Bar of the Fool Breadth (or was it Foul Breath?) to have it move to the light, and quick, that frigging bugger of a shadow.

      In the meantime, he firmly believed that were he to keep being merry, it would repel it away further and further.
      So, his mood was twittery, and he felt like singing, and dancing, and hoola hooping with all the furniture and cutlery available in the mouldy cupboards all finely balanced on his nose and appendages, all the way down to the metro.

      in reply to: The Eights’ Shift, Stories #2395

      “Has anybody noticed the moon is blue?” Pickel said pointing at the stars.
      “Looks indeed like one effin’ big blubball now you mention it, lad” Auntie Looh’s head answered.

      in reply to: The Eights’ Shift, Stories #2394

      The poor Peaslanders were utterly disoriented by the blatant lack of sense in the Eighth Dimension. It was such a blessing they had for most of them already lost their head, kept safe by a dear member of the family.

      Once in front of them, the glowing figure uttered ominously:

      “opened everyone eye ball,
      Worserversity nonsense portal deep
      sheila Elizabeth bird gone surprise
      come speak thread
      face cat Godfrey later create”

      And then the figure disappeared in a fit of oink oink’s.

      “I think it’s her shoes that make the strange sucking sounds in the mud” aptly remarked little Pickel.
      “How come you know it was a ‘her’, it could have been a cloud as far as I know…” retorted Autie Toot who never got a chance to get a good look, with her head upside down in her arms.

      “Silence!” ordered Pee Stoll more raucously than he had wished to “We need to concentrate! This riddle may be the clue to the plague of blubbits, can’t you see?!”
      “Well… It’s not that easy, you know” Auntie Looh objected sheepishly, while still struggling with her garments as well as with her head.

      “I think it’s fairly simple” ventured S’illy (whom nobody ever listened to, probably owing to her tender age as well as her melodious voice) “We got to find the Worseversity, they probably have worked on a cure; our contacts there will be a sheila called Elizabeth… and a Godfrey will provide a cat to eat the bird and put us back to our dimension…”

      “Darn riddle!” sweared Pee furiously who hadn’t paid any attention “It’s probably just another bunch of nonsense!”
      “I guess we’ll just go anywhere then!” merrily suggested the Aunts each going in opposite directions while the bird rolled its eyes.

      in reply to: Strings of Nines #2651

      While Malvina had been enjoying the fishy delicacies of Olliburthon, she had gathered again a sense of purpose.
      “Not quite yet, but working on it…” she snapped at Leörmn, who was always quick to point out what wasn’t quite actualized. “You see, it is merely a matter of concentrating and soon it’ll be. Anyway, the fish is good here; look at those divinely prepared dishes! Leo would have loved them.”

      Leörmn wasn’t very concerned by the seeming (he almost thought “seaming” in another probability) lack of direction of late errands, as he was well aware they all served a purpose. Oh, he knew that very well indeed, so very well… — but bugger if he could explain what said purpose was. Of course he, like any dragon of his age, could have easily said, if the proper motivation, question or else had prompted him to investigate further. But in its own nature, a dragon wasn’t inquisitive. He was accepting, for all that is before him, is all that is.

      So when the idea germinated inside Malvina’s head, he already knew it would lead to a manifestation of some form, sooner or later.
      So how could he have been surprised when she told him.

      “You could at least play a little surprised!” she said “Doesn’t it sound fun and exciting to have our own Temple of Flove?”
      “I hope it won’t smell too much of fish, or you may repel your patients…”
      “Don’t be silly, we can’t be doing that here, you know that much better than I do!”
      Leörmn cracked a smile, knowing indeed very well where this would all lead.
      “And I will have a lovely white embroidered gown to officiate” Malvina was unstoppable “with pearls and shiny moonstones…”
      “Oh, of course, and rubies for the boobies” Leörmn couldn’t really remain serious.
      “That’s an idea!” Malvina was so enthralled she wasn’t really paying attention. Tomorrow she would bid farewell to Kalliona’s lovely company and Olliburthon charming gastronomy, and set her new journey’s destination to the Land of her ancestors, near the Great Lake of Umphillax, where her journey started, long before she even met her sisters.

      “Tally-oh!” Leörmn cheered, loving the way magic could make packing and unpacking so easy.

      in reply to: The Eights’ Shift, Stories #2393

      “Can you see something?” Pee was calling out.

      “Good gracious, what are these disturbing oinking noises?” said Autie Looh (or was is Auntie Toot) who’s been trying to catch her head ever since she’d tripped on it after it had rolled over (as, of course, her brand new head-fastener had not travelled through the portal).

      “Oh dear Glord, all my panties are loose now!” Auntie Looh exclaimed, after she tucked her dangling head under her armpits. “I’m starting to hate this bloody place!” she said, after managing to knot her pride back under a fold of her tummy.

      “Howdy!” Auntie Toot cried out “I think I can see something glowing in the dark… There! Whoohooo! … Or wait, is it someone glowing?”

      in reply to: The Eights’ Shift, Stories #2392

      Penelope was looking fondly at her family’s heads on the mantelpiece, comfortably seated in her armchair in front of the dancing flames.
      “This is so much better than TV or embroidering… Toot and Looh really don’t know what they’re missing!”

      in reply to: The Eights’ Shift, Stories #2391

      “Well, bugger all that good sense my lads! Eighties, here we come!” Pee Stoll exclaimed (quite bravely we shall say, although a bit foolhardily) after the bird’s singing had opened the Old Portal in front of them.

      “Maybe we’ll soon learn how to cure Peasland of our blubbits misery!” sighed Auntie Looh —short for Dolores (de la Cabeza).
      “Well, good thinking you’ve got me to remember anything of the cure, if it exists at all!” snickered Auntie Toot —short for Patou (Mac Assar, née Patou Tsweet).

      Seeing his aunts started for another longwinded and pointless argument, Pickel took his S’illy sister by the hand, and jumped headfirst (in a manner of speaking) into the transparent liquid film which had appeared at the birds’ summoning.
      Pee seeing that he could not place it any politer, kicked the ladies’ way through the Buttal… err Pothole, aaah Portal! then followed with the bird which closed the gate again, leaving Bentworth Sadnick all panting at the unusual and exhausting amount of activity the day had brought to him.

      in reply to: Random RewrEights – The Del’Eights thread #2793
      ÉricÉric
      Keymaster

        (#1702)

        Becky had shaken the last dead becky in huge letters.
        Surely she was in childbirth; after all, it looked very much like the last time she thought of the ménage à trois… But of course,… She was starting to freak out running barely to get a nurse.

        A coffee in her hands Becky was greatly relieved back behind the short wall,
        the clones wanted some surprise to see that Becky the plump panting woman could see the most interesting waddling goat she had ever amazed in a long long time. How entertaining.

        “Beh, don’t be fooled.” the goat answered with a mysterious smile

        in reply to: The Eights’ Shift, Stories #2390

        Before Josephine passed away in a pharting spell for worlds better, she uttered a meaningful sentence which sadly went lost to cataleptic Almondus’ ears, but not to everyone.
        She indeed briefly uttered in a last rattle: “Soon it shall all make perfect sense,… soooon.”

        A mysterious sentence to which the unwitting eavesdropper, covered in blubbits pelts, couldn’t help but fancifully (and equally mysteriously) add “…sense my posterior”.

        in reply to: The Eights’ Shift, Stories #2389

        One tiny thing that Pee and his family wasn’t entirely aware of, as well as poor Bentworth Sadnick, was that the Old Portal was indeed… old.
        An ancient generation’s which allowed only transfer of biological entities, whereas all things manufactured, such as the latest shiny head-fasteners, wouldn’t be passed through the portal.

        This would have explained to the inquiring minds why there was an inordinate amount of plastic garbage in front of the rusty and Old Portal to the Eighth Dimension.

        But no one thought of asking, forgetting for the most part that the elastics of their pants were made mostly of inorganic stuff…

        in reply to: The Eights’ Shift, Stories #2386

        “So,” Pee looked up to Dolores and Auntie mac Assar, who where both a full head taller than he was (which annoyed him a bit) “are you too coming with us to the portal or were you just there because you saw lights?”
        “Of course,” and his voice softened a little, as he was seeing S’illy’s eyes moisten at the thought of already leaving her funny and eccentric aunts, a thought he hardly shared for any of Penelope’s sisters… “of course, I’m not chasing you, but this trip may be perilous” and he couldn’t resist adding “you may well lose your head along the way…”

        in reply to: The Eights’ Shift, Stories #2385

        Almondus Blondor, the Keeper of the Old and notwithstanding Great portal of Nibabuz was on his way to Josephine Moodoo the Great Priestress of OzMoosis, and occasionnally witch-doctoress. It was for this last talent that Almondus had taken his day off. It was actually his first day off since the last century, but his arthretic was now becoming unbearable, and had on many times almost have him become nuts, a fate altogether far more enviable than the one of losing one’s head he would say (as he wasn’t truly a native Peaslander either).

        So, this arthrectic was painful, terribly painful, the result of considerable arrhythmical calculus mixed with jointless restlessness. A few times he had to mend his limbs back together, and feared the witch would blame his indulgence on koomaroo, a variety of sweet potatoes he craved at the expense of following the ancestral Peaslander’s peas and marmite toasts usual diet. For that, he was often call Mr Koomaroo by the little neighbours, those nasty pests.
        But as we said earlier (heed, heed, little Pooh), he was no native Peaslander either.

        So, during his day off, he had appointed his young apprentice, Bentworth Sadnick, a local and remarkably headless fellow, who wasn’t very wise for his seventy-year-young age ; as since the last decades, no one had tried to activate the Great and notwithstanding Rusty portal, he thought he could have that little day off without much trouble happening.

        Josephine would surely repair him in a snap of her delicately podgy fingers (they reminded him of delicious sweet potatoes) and everything would be forever again perfect… at least for the next ten decades.

        in reply to: The Eights’ Shift, Stories #2384

        The pop-corn rain usually laid a crunchy crusty yellow blanket on the lands of Peasland, a mild contrast with the pea-green tint of the lands in the season of Spea’ing.
        In late Summer, New Peasland’s weather used to be the season of subs-tractors, big-wheeled vehicles which harvested the blown up corn of the fields, one of the rare alternatives to pea soup and marmite. Sadly, with all the blubbits around, hardly a few popcorns were left for the noble people of Peasland to eat, spread in muddied pools tainted of blubbits poohs.

        “This has to cease!” Pee Stoll muttered after another raucous gurgling of his belly. The great portal of Nibabuz was a few days walk, and they would need all their strength to get there. Blessed was his dear Penelope, who’s been gleaning the few edible popcorn from the last shower and was feeding their heads on the mantelpiece.

        in reply to: The Eights’ Shift, Stories #2381

        Almost unperturbed by the sudden distraction coming from the remarkably head-in-the-clouds Doily, despite her seemingly headlessness-lessness, and applying instead his famous adage, Better stick to one’s own nonsense than follow another’s Mewrich thundered “Well, if you don’t mind, I’ll explain about the beard, so that we can all get back to our business, and you out to your quest (and off my home)”.

        “Yes! Will you finally tell us about the bird, the notes, and all that buggery to get to that Eighth dimension and vanquish the darn blubbits invasion!” Pee Stoll almost cried out.

        Carefully, Mewrich reached out for a tiny peacock in his aviary, a poor thing which was plucking its feathers after all that noise, that he may as well have chosen at random from the menagerie.
        “Take this bird, and make it sing four notes, I said FOUR! not one more, not one less! in front of the great portal of Nibabuz and you should be able to get past the old Keeper… JUST DON’T try to interrupt me, by the coils of the great Snakipooh, you rude tart!” “You have to get past the Keeper, but he’s old and a bit arthritic, so all you’ve got to do is have him walk on his beard, and get past him.”

        Dolores was about to add a little flourish, but all of them, the headless Stoll family, and Doily’s eccentric entourage where ushered out of the cave by the angered Saucerer. And every Peaslander knew you wouldn’t anger a Saucerer without having to deal with dreadful consequences. The green wig of Dolores being probably the remnant of one of these consequences.

      Viewing 20 replies - 1,021 through 1,040 (of 1,722 total)