The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler

“Nice arse,” said Idle non too quietly, admiring Roberto as he stacked firewood beside the hearth. The gardener glanced round and gave her a cheeky wink.  He’d noticed her leaning out of an upstairs window watching him weeding the herbacious border.

“Now, now, Idle, no molesting the staff. I’ll write some men into the story for you later,” Liz said, “But first let’s talk about my new book.  I’m wondering what to name the six spinsters. Some kind of a theme. Cerise, Fuschia, Scarlett, Coral, Rose and Magenta?”

“What about Cobalt, Lapis, Cerulean, Indigo, Sapphire and Capri?” offered Idle, topping up their wine glasses. “Chartreuse, Emerald, Jade, Fern, Pistachio and Malachite?  Marigold, Saffron, Citron, Amber, Maize and Apricot?”

“How about Bratwurst, Chorizo, Salami, Knackwurst, Bologna and Frankfurter?” suggested Godfrey who was still miffed about all the spare parts being disposed of.  “Lasagne, Macaroni, Canneloni, Farfali, Linguini and Ravioli?”

Roberto lit the fire and stood up. “I have an idea, you can call them Trowel, Rake, Hoe, Wheelbarrow, Spade and Secateur.”

“Marvelous Roberto, I love it!” gushed Aunt Idle.

“You’re all mad as a box of frogs, madder than Almad,”  Finnley said. “How about Duster, Mop, Bleach, Broom, Dustpan and Cloth?”

“I think this incessant rain is driving us all mad,” Liz said, glancing out of the French windows with a sigh.