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  • #4464
    ÉricÉric
    Keymaster

      Phew, 7 years after that initial assessment… 10% done in a blip.

      The man in pistachio wondered if he had got it right. That odd contraption he’d just acquired seemed to be able to accelerate time.

      Not sure if it was a boon or a curse in disguise. Now he dreaded to push that button again. The refund policy of the auction house has expired obviously, people would have thought him disappeared or dead for all this time… And 7 years down the line, the world seemed a slightly foreign place.

      He brushed the thick layer of dust on the telly, and turned it on. It was the stuff of nightmares. President Tusk gloating on the news with his improbably orange hair. For a shift, he was in a deep shift.

      #4461

      Rukshan went into the forest and looked carefully for a particular creature. It was almost nightfall and there should be some of them already out on the branches. The air was cooler in the evening, thanks also to the big trees protecting them from the scorching sun, and Rukshan couldn’t help but think that the climate was really going haywire. One day cold, one week hot and wet. And this bad omen feeling that everybody seemed to get recently. He knew it was time to go, and despite the comfort of Margoritt’s cottage, he was starting to feel restless.

      He was making a lost of noise, stepping on every dry twigs he could find. A couple of rabbits and the crowd of their offsprings jumped away, a deer looked at him as if he was some vulgar neighbour and the birds flew away, disturbed during their evening serenades. But this was the kind of noise that would attract the telebats, small nocturnal animals that you could use for long distance communication.

      He found one on an old oak tree. It seemed to be in resonance with his cracking twigs. Rukshan hurried and caught it before the spell of his steps would dissipate.

      Rukshan to Lhamom: Hope everything’s fine. Stop. Something happened. Stop. Need help organise trip to mountains. Over,” he whispered in the sensitive ears of the small animal. The telebat listened carefully and opened its little mouth, making sounds that no normal ears could hear. Maybe Fox could have, but he would have found it as annoying as the cracking twigs. Then Rukshan waited.

      The answer wasn’t long to come. He knew it because the ears of the creature vibrated at high frequency. He listened into the creature’s left ear where he could hear the answer.

      Lhamom to Rukshan: Father not well. Stop. I’m worried. Stop. Have to go home take care of him. Stop. I send Drummis to help you. Over.”

      Rukshan responded with “Thanks. Stop. Hope everything well with Father. Stop. Have safe trip home. Over.”

      He hung up the telebat on the branch where he found it, and gave it a moth that he had found on his way.
      Rukshan frowned. He have never met Drummis. He wondered if he could trust him.

      #4459

      Eleri glanced at Glynis. So she was feeling it too.

      Eleri had woken in the night, in the dead of the dark hours before dawn, aware of something she could only describe as a central core running through the dream, or a central path so to speak, that all the elements of the dream branched from. It wasn’t much clearer than that, with regard to details, but the feeling of recognition of the bones of that central thread were profoundly real. It was fear.

      #4454
      TracyTracy
      Participant

        not much to read here is there!

        #4453
        TracyTracy
        Participant

          Liz had an idea, and was glad that the others were all out on a day trip to the museum so that she could think about it without interruptions. It had occurred to her that there was probably a theme right under their noses regarding the multitudes of non endings in the stories. Where exactly had they all ended without actually ending?

          Sure enough, the first one she looked at seemed promising with the mention of sheets:

          Yurick woke up from another spell of dreams. The patterns of the bedsheets where as though his newly inserted tile was creating a strong combination with other tiles.
          In his puzzlement, he forgot to take a physical dream snapshot…”

          Liz had had a personal breakthrough with bedsheets recently, and was pleased with this encouraging start.

          When Liz looked at the next non ending of a story, she wondered if this would prove to be a theme: the characters themselves had gone missing.

          “I haven’t heard a word from Lavender for the longest time, Lilac was wondering, When was the last time? Lavender, where ARE you?”

          Liz had a slight jolt when she saw the non ending of the story after that, worried that she would find a trend of herself being the last writer to comment. What would that mean, she wondered?

          “Minky was looking smug. “Enjoying the ride?”

          Ending with a question? Well, that was something to think about. Liz was relived to find she wasn’t the last writer to write in the next story:

          “For once, Arona was completely unconcerned about continuity.
          “I wonder if we could harness the power of the wind to create a flash mob to amuse and entertain me?” she suggested.
          Vincentius pondered for a moment “I did once employ a hamster to power a night light, so I don’t see why not.”

          Smiling at the continuity remark, Liz pondered the nature of the message in this one. Anything can be created to amuse… can it be that easy?

          Another nasty jolt as Liz read the last entry in the following story, considering the irritating few days she had just had with the online payment company:

          “She clicked with her dysfunctionning mouse and invalidated the transaction again.”

          Well, Liz said to herself, I certainly hope that little chuckle will have helped change the online transaction situation going on here presently!

          #4450
          ÉricÉric
          Keymaster

            Starting from the end of the story, Albie finally understood where the traveler had come from, and why.

            In retrospect, it explained a lot. Why the story was going nowhere for enders.
            It begged to be turned around! — back to its origin. Otherwise, readers of the pages of the story couldn’t help but be taken by bouts of anterograde amnesia.

            All the forward looking thinking, the futurists, bound to become caught in a loop! Fighting for a patch of the present, while the expanse was to be discovered in the expired. Truth was in the return. Funny how regression seemed a word tainted of passéism, while it could in turn evoke seismic progress — regression therapy!

            So let us start from the end. The traveler had arrived, she’d come from the other side of the page. Turning that back, a whole new story was to be written of what led her to the Doline.

            #4447

            It had taken Rukshan close to a year to clear the fog.

            He had to admit, he’d dreaded more than was necessary. Faes where a bit thick headed and stubborn when it came to honoring vows and sacred words. There had been lessons to unravel for a lifetime in that year span they’d spent on the holy grounds.
            Even the angry God had come around, and he wasn’t the threat Rukshan had thought he would be. Only another lonely soul, longing for companionship.

            Yesterday, Rukshan had finished the book of Kumihimo. Propitiatory work, but he was beginning to see the benefits. He had finished collecting all the pages of the vanishing book, by burying himself in work for the commune, and on the few moments of silence left to himself, reaching towards the source of knowledge and gathering the elements once thought forever lost. Clearing of his Mind Palace.

            Now he had to let it go. The Book was complete, and needed to be offered on the pyre.
            Only then the Shards would be rightfully returned, rejoined and ready to spell the next evolution of their journey.

            The pyre was neatly prepared. Gathering of fragrant herbs of the woods was a specialty of the Potion maker, the gorgeous assemblage of the beams had created a sriyantra-like pattern that seemed like it could easily open a portal to the Gods’ realm.

            All of them had gathered around at the full moon. Gorrash had just awoken, and the feast was joyous and full of sparkling expectations.

            Each of them took a thread to light the flames, and once the Book was put on the pyre with great reverence, all of them, one by one lighted one of the corners.

            They all felt a great weight lifting from their chest, the weight of the sins of their past lives vanishing in the light, and a great joy pouring in from the dancing flames at the centre.

            All was well and fresh on this night, and there was great content, and anticipation for what tomorrow would bring.

            #4446

            Margoritt’s left knee was painful that day. Last time it hurt so much was twenty years ago, during that notorious drought when a fire started and almost burnt the whole forest down. Only a powerful spell from the Fae people could stop it. But today they sky was clear, and the forest was enjoying a high degree of humidity from the last magic rain. Margoritt, who was not such a young lady anymore dismissed the pain as a sign of old age.
            You have to accept yourself as you are at some point, she sighed.

            The guests were still there, and everyone was participating to the life of the community. Eleri, who had been sick had been taken care of in turn by Fox and Glynnis, while Rukshan had reorganised the functioning of the farm. They now had a second cow and produced enough milk to make cakes and butter that they sold to the neighbouring Faes, and they had a small herd of Rainbow Lamas that produced the softest already colourful wool, among other things. Gorrash, awoken at night, had formed an alliance with the owls that helped them to keep the area clear of mice and rats and was also in charge of the weekly night fireworks.

            The strange colourful eggs had hatched recently giving birth to strange little creatures that were not yet sure of which shape to adopt. They sometimes looked like cuddly kittens, sometimes like cute puppies, or mischievous monkeys. They always took the form of a creature with a tail, except when they were frightened and turned into a puddle. It had been hard for Margoritt who mistook them for dog pee, but Fox had been very helpful with his keen sense of smell and washing away the poor creatures had been avoided. Nobody had any idea if they could survive once diluted in water.

            The day was going great, Margoritt sat on her rocking chair enjoying a fresh nettle lassi on the terrace while doing some embroidery work on Eleri’s blouse. Her working kit was on a small stool in front of her. Working with her hands helped her forget about her knee and also made her feel useful in this youthful community where everybody wanted to help her. She was rather proud of her last design representing a young girl and a god statue holding hands together. She didn’t think of herself as a matchmaker, but sometimes you just had to give a little push when fate didn’t want to do its job.

            Micawber Minn arrived, his face as long as the Lamazon river. He had the latest newspaper with him and put it on Margoritt’s lap. Surprise and a sudden sharp and burning pain in her knee made her left leg jerk forward, strewing all her needles onto the floor. Margoritt, upset, looked at the puddle of lassi sluggishly starting to covering them up.
            “What…” she began.
            “Read the damn paper,” said Minn.

            She did. The front page mentioned the reelection of Leroway as Lord Mayor, despite his poor results in developing the region.
            “Well, that’s not surprising,” Margoritt said with a shrug, starting to feel angry at Minn for frightening her.
            “Read further,” said Minn suddenly looking cynical.
            Margoritt continued and gasped. Her face turned blank.
            “That’s not possible. We need to tell the other,” she said. “We can not let Leroway build his road through the forest.”

            #4438

            In reply to: Scrying the Word Cloud

            TracyTracy
            Participant

              full mother line reading
              soft touched
              john dreams
              stood taken
              mind age meant thin rubbish city
              carried tower
              voice meet market

              #4431
              Jib
              Participant

                That sunny day would be remembered as the day the doline shook and trembled.

                The geckoes fell from their rock, cutting all communication between the inhabitants of the hidden world. The vibrations coming from leperchauns know where had swiftly spread into the walls down to the deepest cracks and hidden chambers of the back cave far deeper than any of the inhabitants of the doline dared to show their noses. And Most of them weren’t aware at all of all that empty dark and cold and wet space. At some point, the vibrations gathered and rebounded into the bottom of the deepest caves and came back out in a roar that might have take the inhabitants’ hats off, if they wore hats.

                The bats flew away into the sunlight, blinded and deafened, bumping into each others as their fabulously acute sense of hearing was overwhelmed by the vibrations and the rich harmonics generated in the crystal chambers down below. Some fell, spiraling down as if they had been shot by some anti aerial defense. They fell in the cockroach arena and into the reservoir of dung gathered by the dung beetles, almost crushing Daisy in the process. Her father caught her safe and rolled her like the little dung beetle she was.

                The rats ran away spreading panic like plague, and while some tried to take advantage of the confusion to steal others food, when the vibration kept on shaking the ground around them and stalactites fell like fringe hail exploding into thousands projectiles, they began to fear.

                It took some time for the dust and noise to settle down, long after the vibration had ceased. All the inhabitants of the doline had gathered on the edge of the entrance, not knowing if it was safe to go back home.

                Hugo the Gecko wondered like many of the others.

                What just happened? What if it happened again? Somebody had to volunteer to go see what it was that made that noise.

                But no one came forth, all too shocked by the recent events. You could even hear some calling their families or friends.

                Hugo didn’t feel up to the task, he was too small and fragile. What if another of those big rocks fell on his soft and elastic body? It would explode like a water bomb. Except the puddle would be red. Yet, when he saw little Daisy desperately looking for her mother, something rose in him. Something he had never felt before. Some might call it courage, but Hugo didn’t have a name for it. All he knew was that he entered the doline and went down to the flat stone, calling his gecko friends on the way to follow him. Dragged along by that strange emotion that was moving their friend, they followed and listened to him when he gave them a few instructions. They resumed their place on the stone, except this time Hugo was at the center and began to draw something.

                The inhabitants of the doline had looked not understanding what the geckoes were doing, calling them reckless idiots to venture back into the broken world. But they looked at the strange shapes appearing on the flat stone at the center of the doline.

                Suddenly a voice came out of the crowd. “It’s me! I’m here!” she said and waved her little beetle legs. “Daisy, Mummy’s here!”

                Then everybody wanted to pass a message and the geckoes felt they were making a difference.

                Despite the agitation, Hugo kept wondering. What happened? Someone has to go and see.

                #4430
                F LoveF Love
                Participant

                  One spring day in 1822, so the story goes, Emerald Huntingford was walking the family dog on the extensive family estate, when the dog ran into a densely wooded area in hot pursuit of a rabbit. This was not uncommon, however on this occasion Emerald whistled and called but the dog did not return to her. She ran back to the house and shouted for her brother, Nigel, to help her find the it.

                  After several hours of frantic searching, for it was a much loved family pet, and just as they were beginning to despair, they heard whimpering coming from a hole in the ground. They cleared away the brush covering the entrance to the hole and saw it went some way into the ground and it was here the unfortunate dog had fallen. It was too deep for them to enter unaided, so while Emerald sat with the dog and called reassuringly down to it, Nigel ran for assistance. With the help of ropes and several strong farm workers, Nigel descended into the space. To his amazement, he found himself in a clay filled dome with shallow entrances going off to other underground galleries. At that time, with his focus on the injured dog, he had no inkling of the extent of it. It was later on, after they had time to explore, that the Huntingfords started to comprehend the amazing world which existed under their land.

                  Word spread, and they were offered a substantial amount of money by a mining company to mine the land. Locals, and others from further afield, wanted to visit the doline and many would try and do so, with or without seeking permission from the Huntingfords first. Some argued that if you don’t own the sky above your land, why should you have claim to the ground beneath?

                  The Huntingfords were wealthy and had no need or desire to sell the rights to their land. Eventually, their patience worn thin by the aggressive mining company and invasive tourists, they decided to defend their claim to the doline in court; a claim which they won. From that time on, as one generation of the family passed the secrets of the doline to another, guards were employed to keep watch over the entrance, that none may enter the underground world without the approval of the family.

                  And it seems none had, until now.

                  #4420
                  F LoveF Love
                  Participant

                    As soon as the words had left her mouth, Lottie regretted them. She looked at Albie’s shocked, crestfallen face and knew she had been too harsh. Maybe she wasn’t cut out to be a writing mentor. It was a constant battle for her: should she be brutally honest and possibly save them years of misdirected effort or should she foster their creative spirit at all costs, even if it meant being dishonest? She sighed and tried to backtrack.

                    “Look, Albie, there is some good stuff in here but it needs work … “

                    “It’s okay,” Albie broke in quickly. “It’s fine. I knew I was no good … it’s fine. Thanks.” He gave an embarrassed laugh. “Mum has been on at me to do something since I lost my job so i thought … well, I thought I’d give writing a shot. Better stick to walking the dog, eh!”

                    “Yes, you and Alex are a right pair, walking off the job like that.” Lottie shook her head, causing the thick reading glasses to slip down her long beaky nose. Lottie always wore black and she reminded Albie of a crow. He liked her though, which is why he had asked her to read his play.

                    “Anyway what’s done is done.” Lottie continued. And then she hesitated for a moment, pushing the glasses back up her nose and looking down at the manuscript on the table in front of her as though weighing her words carefully before continuing. “Look, Albie, one thing I did notice in your writing was that there was a recurring theme. Perhaps your subconscious trying to tell you something. It often works like that.

                    “The Doline thing?”

                    “Yes,” said Lottie. “Something to think about anyway.”

                    #4417
                    TracyTracy
                    Participant

                      Lottie shook here head slowly and peered over her reading glasses at Albie.

                      “I’m sorry to say this, son, but this is utter rubbish. I really don’t think you should waste any more time on this writing lark.”

                      #4414
                      F LoveF Love
                      Participant

                        “Not so fast, Anna” said Finnley, intercepting the maid as she left Godfrey’s room. Just as Roberto had suggested, the back door was indeed unlocked. “I think you have had far too much time on this thread!” And without further ado, Finnley stuffed the protesting maid back into the large trunk.
                        “Good thing you are so small. You should be fine in there, I think, and I’ve popped in some food and water for your trip too.”
                        I am so much kinder than she deserves, thought Finnley proudly.
                        “Please, Miss Finnley! This is not honourable of you. Please revert me to the outside of the trunk at once!”

                        #4410
                        TracyTracy
                        Participant

                          “Unhand me, you insubordinate wench!” cried Liz. “How very dare you manhandle me like that!” Liz struggled weakly to free herself of Anna’s vice like grip on her arm.

                          Godfrey told me to make sure you stayed in bed,” the new maid hissed, “So you don’t spread your germs to the rest of us. Please,” she started wheedling, “Come back to bed like a good girl.”

                          Liz sputtered in rage, her face turning an alarming shade of puce. “How dare….” she started, and then doubled over. “Take me to the lavatory this instant!”

                          #4409
                          Jib
                          Participant

                            “Pssst.”

                            Finnley turned to her right, swift as a ninja. She was relieved to see Roberto, full of twigs and hay in his dark bushy hair. He had panda eyes.

                            “What happened to you?” she asked in a hush before realising she only reacted to the way he prompted her. “Is that the new…”

                            “No,” he said, “I just woke up from that strange cave with the moving roots and birth place of new characters,” he said rolling his ‘R’s like only he could. “It took me that long to come back into this thread. I just wanted to tell you the back door is open. I need to take a shower and clean the pool. Half of it is in summer, but the other seems to be stuck in winter.”

                            #4407

                            In reply to: Scrying the Word Cloud

                            ÉricÉric
                            Keymaster

                              already sighed trees
                              bossy head talking sudden
                              send empty hands others birds
                              stone stood covered gardener matter
                              plants ones run outside

                              #4404
                              Jib
                              Participant

                                Liz left her bed at 8:30am, wearing only her pink and blue doubled cotton night gown, a perfect hair and her fluffy pink blue mules. She had been thinking about her characters while the sun was trying to rise with great difficulty. Liz couldn’t blame the Sun as temperatures had dropped dramatically since the beginning of winter and the air outside was really cold.

                                When Liz was thinking about her writings and her characters, she usually felt hungry. Someone had told her once that the brain was a hungry organ and that you needed fuel to make it work properly. She didn’t have a sweet tooth, but she wouldn’t say no to some cheesy toast, any time of the day.

                                She had heard some noise coming from the kitchen, certainly Finnley doing who knows what, although certainly not cleaning. It might be the association between thinking about her characters and the noise in the kitchen that triggered her sudden craving for a melted slice of cheese on top of a perfectly burnished toast. The idea sufficed to make her stomach growl.

                                She chuckled as she thought of inventing a new genre, the toast opera. Or was it a cackle?

                                As she was lost in her morning musings, her mules gave that muffled slippery sound on the floor that Finnley found so unladylike. Liz didn’t care, she even deliberately slowed her pace. The slippery sound took on another dimension, extended and stretched to the limit of what was bearable even for herself. Liz grinned, thinking about Finnley’s slight twitching right eye as she certainly was trying to keep her composure in the kitchen.

                                Liz, all cheerful, was testing the differences between a chuckle and a cackle when she entered the kitchen. She was about to ask Finnley what she thought about it when she saw a small person in a yellow tunic and green pants, washing the dishes.

                                Liz stopped right there, forgetting all about chuckles and cackles and even toasts.

                                “Where is Finnley?” she asked, not wanting to appear the least surprised. The small person turned her head toward Liz, still managing to keep on washing the dishes. It was a girl, obviously from India.

                                “Good morning, Ma’am. I’m Anna, the new maid only.”

                                “The new… maid?”

                                Liz suddenly felt panic crawling behind her perfectly still face. She didn’t want to think about the implications.

                                “Why don’t you use the dishwasher?” she asked, proud that she could keep the control of her voice despite her hunger, her questions about chuckles and cackles, and…

                                “The dirty dishes are very less, there is no need to use the dishwasher only.”

                                Liz looked at her bobbing her head sideways as if the spring had been mounted the wrong way.

                                “Are you alright?” asked Anna with a worried look.

                                “Of course, dear. Make me a toast with a slice of cheese will you?”

                                “How do I do that?”

                                “Well you take the toaster and you put the slice of bread inside and pushed the lever down… Have you never prepared toasts before?”

                                “No, but yes, but I need to know how you like it only. I want to make it perfect for your liking, otherwise you won’t be satisfied.” The maid suddenly looked lost and anxious.

                                “Just do as you usually do,” said Liz. “Goddfrey?” she called, leaving the kitchen before the maid could ask anymore questions.

                                Where was Goddfrey when she needed him to explain everything?

                                “You need me?” asked a voice behind her. He had appeared from nowhere, as if he could walk through the walls or teleport. Anyway, she never thought she would be so relieved to see him.

                                “What’s that in the kitchen?”

                                “What’s what? Oh! You mean her. The new maid.”

                                He knew! Liz felt a strange blend of frustration, despair and anger. She took mental note to remember it for her next chapter, and came back to her emotional turmoil. Was she the only one unaware of such a bit change in her home?

                                “Well, she followed us when we were in India. We don’t know how, but she managed to find a place in one of your trunks. Finnley found her as she had the porter unpacked the load. It seems she wants to help.”

                                #4403
                                F LoveF Love
                                Participant

                                  random plot generator

                                  A BOOK SHOP – IT IS THE AFTERNOON AFTER ALBIE HIT HIS MOTHER WITH A FEATHER.

                                  Newly unemployed ALBIE is arguing with his friend JENNY RAMSBOTTOM. ALBIE tries to hug JENNY but she shakes him off angrily.

                                  ALBIE
                                  Please Jenny, don’t leave me.

                                  JENNY
                                  I’m sorry Albie, but I’m looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away. You hit your mother with a feather! You could have just talked to her!

                                  ALBIE
                                  I am such a person!

                                  JENNY
                                  I’m sorry, Albie. I just don’t feel excited by this relationship anymore.

                                  JENNY leaves and ALBIE sits down, looking defeated.

                                  Moments later, gentle sweet shop owner MR MATT HUMBLE barges in looking flustered.

                                  ALBIE
                                  Goodness, Matt! Is everything okay?

                                  MATT
                                  I’m afraid not.

                                  ALBIE
                                  What is it? Don’t keep me in suspense…

                                  MATT
                                  It’s … a hooligan … I saw an evil hooligan frighten a bunch of elderly ladies!

                                  ALBIE
                                  Defenseless elderly ladies?

                                  MATT
                                  Yes, defenseless elderly ladies!

                                  ALBIE
                                  Bloomin’ heck, Matt! We’ve got to do something.

                                  MATT
                                  I agree, but I wouldn’t know where to start.

                                  ALBIE
                                  You can start by telling me where this happened.

                                  MATT
                                  I was…
                                  MATT fans himself and begins to wheeze.

                                  ALBIE
                                  Focus Matt, focus! Where did it happen?

                                  MATT
                                  The Library! That’s right – the Library!

                                  ALBIE springs up and begins to run.

                                  EXT. A ROADCONTINUOUS

                                  ALBIE rushes along the street, followed by MATT. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.

                                  INT. A LIBRARYSHORTLY AFTER

                                  ROGER BLUNDER a forgetful hooligan terrorises two elderly ladies.

                                  ALBIE, closely followed by MATT, rushes towards ROGER, but suddenly stops in his tracks.

                                  MATT
                                  What is is? What’s the matter?

                                  ALBIE
                                  That’s not just any old hooligan, that’s Roger Blunder!

                                  MATT
                                  Who’s Roger Blunder?

                                  ALBIE
                                  Who’s Roger Blunder? Who’s Roger Blunder? Only the most forgetful hooligan in the universe!

                                  MATT
                                  Blinkin’ knickers, Albie! We’re going to need some help if we’re going to stop the most forgetful hooligan in the universe!

                                  ALBIE
                                  You can say that again.

                                  MATT
                                  Blinkin’ knickers, Albie! We’re going to need some help if we’re going to stop the most forgetful hooligan in the universe!

                                  ALBIE
                                  I’m going to need candlesticks, lots of candlesticks.

                                  Roger turns and sees Albie and Matt. He grins an evil grin.

                                  ROGER
                                  Albie Jones, we meet again!

                                  MATT
                                  You’ve met?

                                  ALBIE
                                  Yes. It was a long, long time ago…

                                  EXT. A PARKBACK IN TIME

                                  A young ALBIE is sitting in a park listening to some trance music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.

                                  He looks up and sees ROGER. He takes off his headphones.

                                  ROGER
                                  Would you like some wine gums?

                                  ALBIE’s eyes light up, but then he studies ROGER more closely, and looks uneasy.

                                  ALBIE
                                  I don’t know, you look kind of forgetful.

                                  ROGER
                                  Me? No. I’m not forgetful. I’m the least forgetful hooligan in the world.

                                  ALBIE
                                  Wait, you’re a hooligan?

                                  ALBIE runs away, screaming.

                                  INT. A LIBRARYPRESENT DAY

                                  ROGER
                                  You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.

                                  MATT
                                  (To ALBIE) You ran away?
                                  ALBIE
                                  (To MATT) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
                                  ALBIE turns to ROGER.

                                  ALBIE
                                  I may have run away from you then, but I won’t run away this time!
                                  ALBIE runs away.

                                  He turns back and shouts.

                                  ALBIE
                                  I mean, I am running away, but I’ll be back – with candlesticks.

                                  ROGER
                                  I’m not scared of you.

                                  ALBIE
                                  You should be.

                                  INT. A SWEET SHOPLATER THAT DAY

                                  ALBIE and MATT walk around searching for something.

                                  ALBIE
                                  I feel sure I left my candlesticks somewhere around here.

                                  MATT
                                  Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly candlesticks.

                                  ALBIE
                                  You know nothing Matt Humble.

                                  MATT
                                  We’ve been searching for ages. I really don’t think they’re here.

                                  Suddenly, ROGER appears, holding a pair of candlesticks.

                                  ROGER
                                  Looking for something?

                                  MATT
                                  Crikey, Albie, he’s got your candlesticks.

                                  ALBIE
                                  Tell me something I don’t already know!

                                  MATT
                                  The earth’s circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.

                                  ALBIE
                                  I know that already!

                                  MATT
                                  I’m afraid of dust.

                                  ROGER
                                  (appalled) Dude!

                                  While ROGER is looking at MATT with disgust, ALBIE lunges forward and grabs his deadly candlesticks. He wields them, triumphantly.

                                  ALBIE
                                  Prepare to die, you forgetful aubergine!

                                  ROGER
                                  No please! All I did was frighten a bunch of elderly ladies!

                                  JENNY enters, unseen by any of the others.

                                  ALBIE
                                  I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those elderly ladies were defenceless! Well now they have a defender – and that’s me! Albie Jones defender of innocent elderly ladies.

                                  ROGER
                                  Don’t hurt me! Please!

                                  ALBIE
                                  Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t use these candlesticks on you right away!

                                  ROGER
                                  Because Albie, I am your father.

                                  ALBIE looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.

                                  ALBIE
                                  No you’re not!

                                  ROGER
                                  Ah well, it had to be worth a try.

                                  ROGER tries to grab the candlesticks but ALBIE dodges out of the way.

                                  ALBIE
                                  Who’s the daddy now? Huh? Huh?

                                  Unexpectedly, ROGER slumps to the ground.

                                  MATT
                                  Did he just faint?

                                  ALBIE
                                  I think so. Well that’s disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly candlesticks.

                                  ALBIE crouches over ROGER’s body.

                                  MATT
                                  Be careful, Albie. It could be a trick.

                                  ALBIE
                                  No, it’s not a trick. It appears that… It would seem… Roger Blunder is dead!

                                  ALBIE
                                  What?

                                  ALBIE
                                  Yes, it appears that I scared him to death.

                                  MATT claps his hands.

                                  MATT
                                  So your candlesticks did save the day, after all.

                                  JENNY steps forward.

                                  JENNY
                                  Is it true? Did you kill the forgetful hooligan?

                                  ALBIE
                                  Jenny how long have you been…?

                                  JENNY puts her arm around ALBIE.

                                  JENNY
                                  Long enough.

                                  ALBIE
                                  Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Roger Blunder.

                                  JENNY
                                  Then the elderly ladies are safe?

                                  ALBIE
                                  It does seem that way!

                                  A crowd of vulnerable elderly ladies enter, looking relived.

                                  JENNY
                                  You are their hero.

                                  The elderly ladies bow to ALBIE.

                                  ALBIE
                                  There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Roger Blunder will never frighten elderly ladies ever again, is enough for me.

                                  JENNY
                                  You are humble as well as brave! And I think that makes up for hitting your mother with a feather. It does in my opinion!

                                  One of the elderly ladies passes ALBIE a healing ring

                                  JENNY
                                  I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.

                                  ALBIE
                                  I couldn’t possibly.
                                  Pause.

                                  ALBIE
                                  Well, if you insist. It could come in handy when I go to the Doline tomorrow. With my friend Matt. It is dangerous and only for brave people and a healing ring could come in handy.

                                  ALBIE takes the ring.

                                  ALBIE
                                  Thank you.
                                  The elderly ladies bow their heads once more, and leave.

                                  ALBIE turns to JENNY.

                                  ALBIE
                                  Does this mean you want me back?

                                  JENNY
                                  Oh, Albie, of course I want you back!
                                  ALBIE smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.

                                  ALBIE
                                  Well you can’t have me.

                                  JENNY
                                  WHAT?

                                  ALBIE
                                  You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a hooligan to death before you would believe in me. I don’t want a lover like that. And I am going to the Doline and I may not be back!

                                  JENNY
                                  But…

                                  ALBIE
                                  Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin – my best friend, Matt.

                                  MATT grins.

                                  JENNY
                                  But…

                                  MATT
                                  You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!

                                  JENNY
                                  Albie?

                                  ALBIE
                                  I’m sorry Jenny, but I think you should skidaddle.
                                  JENNY leaves.

                                  MATT turns to ALBIE.

                                  MATT
                                  Did you mean that? You know … that I’m your best friend?

                                  ALBIE
                                  Of course you are!
                                  The two walk off arm in arm.

                                  Suddenly MATT stops.

                                  MATT
                                  When I said I’m afraid of dust, you know I was just trying to distract the hooligan don’t you?

                                  #4393
                                  TracyTracy
                                  Participant

                                    They have entered, now peace is all shattered,
                                    And the quiet was all that had mattered,
                                    But alas that is over,
                                    And blown is my cover,
                                    And I’m sulky and not feeling flattered.

                                    Petra was scribbling furiously in her expedition notebook, not wanting to forget the exact wording of the curious message she had received on waking from her nap behind the rocks. It was not the first time she had heard telepathic messages in rhyme, and wondered briefly about the possible connections, but then Lillianne woke up farting dreadfully, and she was distracted.

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