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  • #7379

    From the moment they had stepped into the gorgeous villa, Malové had felt it was a trap.

    It all went very fast and messily after that.

    The memories were a bit blurred after all the manic rush of events.

    One thing was sure: her little plan of a new smoke fragrance had to be the biggest fiasco since she took the reins of the Coven’s Quadrivium ventures.

    Well, there wouldn’t be a huge point to go through the minute details of events that went down after that, would it.

    Suffice to say that someone had snitched about their incognito presence directly in the ears of the Elder, and they would have been toast were it not for her quick wits.

    A few curious souls would love to know how they ultimately escaped the clutches of the Brazilian witches. But that story would be one for later.
    Carnival was over, and she for one, had never been big on feathers and glitter.
    Lent and its Quadragesima austerities was more her style.

    In the end, they’d only be gone for less than a week and like that, they’d already come back to the Quadrivium.

    It was luck really that Jeezel had been so good at producing the cascading portal just in time, and they could all slip through it, in spite of the sudden explosion of fireworks and the mad run ensuing. One of the pygmy hippos that was sent to chase after them had paid the price of Jeezel’s quick thinking this time, as she’d severed the portal at just the moment for the hippo to be bisected in a rather gruesome fashion.
    Well, she’d never tasted smoked hippo, but she’d heard from her Tanzanian witch friend that one could find decent recipes, and it would do wonders with a garnish of orange marmalade.
    And on top of that, she’d recently acquired a wardrobe sized smoking room that would do perfectly well for a trial run.

    She had to hand it to Frigella that she also did well with the hedgehog enlargement and armoring spells – the spikes throwing had really made a splash. Malové didn’t know she was so good at battle magic she even didn’t have to use her dragonage master spell.

    The only issue was for Truella. Termitated by honey that was served by their cunning hosts, her duplicate self had been turned to stone instantaneously. That’s how Malové had known they were not meant to escape. Luckily for Truella, this was just her duplicate from the bilocation spell. On Malové’s orders, Eris had turned this second body into a miniature statue so that Eris could carry her away to safety during their mad escape.

    Now, they would have to merge this stoned Truella back with her original self, so that Truella wouldn’t suffer from any tinkering effects afterwards.

    #6790

    In reply to: Tart Wreck Repackage

    Star and Tara were seating at their usual table in the Star Frites Alliance Café, sipping their coffee and reflecting on the strange case of the wardrobe. They had managed to find Uncle Basil, and Vince had been able to change his will just in time. They had also discovered that the wardrobe was being used to smuggle illegal drugs, which they promptly reported to the authorities.

    As they sat there, they saw Finton, the waitress from the café where they last met Vince French, walking towards them with a big smile on her face. “Hello there, ladies! I just wanted to thank you for helping Vince find his uncle. He’s been so much happier since then.”

    “It was all in a day’s work,” said Star with a grin. “And we also managed to solve the mystery of the wardrobe.”  she couldn’t help boasting.

    “Did we now?” Tara raised an eyebrow.

    Finton’s eyes widened in surprise. “Oh my! That’s quite the accomplishment. What did you find?”

    “It was being used to smuggle drugs,” explained Star. “We reported it to the authorities.”

    “Well, I never! You two are quite the detectives,” said Finton, impressed.

    “Sure, we could be proud, but there are more mysteries calling for our help. Now if you don’t mind, Finton, we have important business to talk about.” Star said.

    “And it’s rather hush-hush.” Tara added, to clue in the poor waitress.

    Star’s knack for finding clues in all the wrong places, and Tara’s slight nudges towards the path of logical deduction and reason had made them quite famous now around the corner. Well, slightly more famous than before, meaning they were featured in a tiny article in the local neswpaper, page 8, near the weekly crosswords. But somehow, that they’d accomplished their missions did advocate in their favour. And new clients had been pouring in.

    “Do we have a new case you haven’t told me about?” wondered Tara.

    “Nah.” retorted Star. “Just wanted to get rid of the nosy brat and enjoy my coffee while it’s hot. I hate tepid coffee. Tastes like cat piss.”

    “How would you know… Never mind…” Tara replied distractedly as handsome and well-dressed man approached their table. “Excuse me, are you Star and Tara, the private investigators?”

    “Well, as a matter of fact, we are,” said Star, propping her goods forward, and batting a few eyelids. “Who’s asking?”

    “My name is Thomas, and I have a rather unusual case for you.”

    Tara pushed Star to the back of the cushioned banquet bench to make room for the easy on the eyes stranger, while Star repressed a Oof and a fookoof..

    “It involves a missing pineapple.” Thomas said after taking the offered seat.

    “A missing pineapple?” repeated Star incredulously.

    Tara had an irrepressible fit of titter “So long as it’s not for a pizza…”

    “Yes, you see, I am a collector of exotic fruits, and I had a rare pineapple in my collection that has gone missing. It’s worth quite a lot of money, and I can’t seem to find it anywhere.”

    Star and Tara exchanged a look. They were both thinking the same thing. Was “exotic fruit” code for something else? Otherwise, this was not even remotely bizarre by their standard, and they’d seen some strange cases already.

    “We’ll have to think over it.” for once Star didn’t want to sound too eager. “Do you have any leads?” asked Tara.

    “Well, I did hear a rumor that it was spotted in the hands of a local street performer, but I can’t be sure.”

    “Alright, we’ll consider it,” said Star decisively. She fumbled into her hairy bag —some smart upcycling made by Rosamund with the old patchy mink coats. She handed a torn namecard to the young Thomas. “We’ll call you.”

    Thomas looked at her surprised. “Do you mean, should I write my number?”

    Tara rolled her eyes and sighed. “Obvie.” Somehow the good-looking ones didn’t seem to be the brightest tools in the picnic box.

    “But first, we need to finish our coffee.” She took a long sip and grinned at Tara. “Looks like we may have another mysterman on our hands.”

    #6268
    TracyTracy
    Participant

      From Tanganyika with Love

      continued part 9

      With thanks to Mike Rushby.

      Lyamungu 3rd January 1945

      Dearest Family.

      We had a novel Christmas this year. We decided to avoid the expense of
      entertaining and being entertained at Lyamungu, and went off to spend Christmas
      camping in a forest on the Western slopes of Kilimanjaro. George decided to combine
      business with pleasure and in this way we were able to use Government transport.
      We set out the day before Christmas day and drove along the road which skirts
      the slopes of Kilimanjaro and first visited a beautiful farm where Philip Teare, the ex
      Game Warden, and his wife Mary are staying. We had afternoon tea with them and then
      drove on in to the natural forest above the estate and pitched our tent beside a small
      clear mountain stream. We decorated the tent with paper streamers and a few small
      balloons and John found a small tree of the traditional shape which we decorated where
      it stood with tinsel and small ornaments.

      We put our beer, cool drinks for the children and bottles of fresh milk from Simba
      Estate, in the stream and on Christmas morning they were as cold as if they had been in
      the refrigerator all night. There were not many presents for the children, there never are,
      but they do not seem to mind and are well satisfied with a couple of balloons apiece,
      sweets, tin whistles and a book each.

      George entertain the children before breakfast. He can make a magical thing out
      of the most ordinary balloon. The children watched entranced as he drew on his pipe
      and then blew the smoke into the balloon. He then pinched the neck of the balloon
      between thumb and forefinger and released the smoke in little puffs. Occasionally the
      balloon ejected a perfect smoke ring and the forest rang with shouts of “Do it again
      Daddy.” Another trick was to blow up the balloon to maximum size and then twist the
      neck tightly before releasing. Before subsiding the balloon darted about in a crazy
      fashion causing great hilarity. Such fun, at the cost of a few pence.

      After breakfast George went off to fish for trout. John and Jim decided that they
      also wished to fish so we made rods out of sticks and string and bent pins and they
      fished happily, but of course quite unsuccessfully, for hours. Both of course fell into the
      stream and got soaked, but I was prepared for this, and the little stream was so shallow
      that they could not come to any harm. Henry played happily in the sand and I had a
      most peaceful morning.

      Hamisi roasted a chicken in a pot over the camp fire and the jelly set beautifully in the
      stream. So we had grilled trout and chicken for our Christmas dinner. I had of course
      taken an iced cake for the occasion and, all in all, it was a very successful Christmas day.
      On Boxing day we drove down to the plains where George was to investigate a
      report of game poaching near the Ngassari Furrow. This is a very long ditch which has
      been dug by the Government for watering the Masai stock in the area. It is also used by
      game and we saw herds of zebra and wildebeest, and some Grant’s Gazelle and
      giraffe, all comparatively tame. At one point a small herd of zebra raced beside the lorry
      apparently enjoying the fun of a gallop. They were all sleek and fat and looked wild and
      beautiful in action.

      We camped a considerable distance from the water but this precaution did not
      save us from the mosquitoes which launched a vicious attack on us after sunset, so that
      we took to our beds unusually early. They were on the job again when we got up at
      sunrise so I was very glad when we were once more on our way home.

      “I like Christmas safari. Much nicer that silly old party,” said John. I agree but I think
      it is time that our children learned to play happily with others. There are no other young
      children at Lyamungu though there are two older boys and a girl who go to boarding
      school in Nairobi.

      On New Years Day two Army Officers from the military camp at Moshi, came for
      tea and to talk game hunting with George. I think they rather enjoy visiting a home and
      seeing children and pets around.

      Eleanor.

      Lyamungu 14 May 1945

      Dearest Family.

      So the war in Europe is over at last. It is such marvellous news that I can hardly
      believe it. To think that as soon as George can get leave we will go to England and
      bring Ann and George home with us to Tanganyika. When we know when this leave can
      be arranged we will want Kate to join us here as of course she must go with us to
      England to meet George’s family. She has become so much a part of your lives that I
      know it will be a wrench for you to give her up but I know that you will all be happy to
      think that soon our family will be reunited.

      The V.E. celebrations passed off quietly here. We all went to Moshi to see the
      Victory Parade of the King’s African Rifles and in the evening we went to a celebration
      dinner at the Game Warden’s house. Besides ourselves the Moores had invited the
      Commanding Officer from Moshi and a junior officer. We had a very good dinner and
      many toasts including one to Mrs Moore’s brother, Oliver Milton who is fighting in Burma
      and has recently been awarded the Military Cross.

      There was also a celebration party for the children in the grounds of the Moshi
      Club. Such a spread! I think John and Jim sampled everything. We mothers were
      having our tea separately and a friend laughingly told me to turn around and have a look.
      I did, and saw the long tea tables now deserted by all the children but my two sons who
      were still eating steadily, and finding the party more exciting than the game of Musical
      Bumps into which all the other children had entered with enthusiasm.

      There was also an extremely good puppet show put on by the Italian prisoners
      of war from the camp at Moshi. They had made all the puppets which included well
      loved characters like Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and the Babes in the Wood as
      well as more sophisticated ones like an irritable pianist and a would be prima donna. The
      most popular puppets with the children were a native askari and his family – a very
      happy little scene. I have never before seen a puppet show and was as entranced as
      the children. It is amazing what clever manipulation and lighting can do. I believe that the
      Italians mean to take their puppets to Nairobi and am glad to think that there, they will
      have larger audiences to appreciate their art.

      George has just come in, and I paused in my writing to ask him for the hundredth
      time when he thinks we will get leave. He says I must be patient because it may be a
      year before our turn comes. Shipping will be disorganised for months to come and we
      cannot expect priority simply because we have been separated so long from our
      children. The same situation applies to scores of other Government Officials.
      I have decided to write the story of my childhood in South Africa and about our
      life together in Tanganyika up to the time Ann and George left the country. I know you
      will have told Kate these stories, but Ann and George were so very little when they left
      home that I fear that they cannot remember much.

      My Mother-in-law will have told them about their father but she can tell them little
      about me. I shall send them one chapter of my story each month in the hope that they
      may be interested and not feel that I am a stranger when at last we meet again.

      Eleanor.

      Lyamungu 19th September 1945

      Dearest Family.

      In a months time we will be saying good-bye to Lyamungu. George is to be
      transferred to Mbeya and I am delighted, not only as I look upon Mbeya as home, but
      because there is now a primary school there which John can attend. I feel he will make
      much better progress in his lessons when he realises that all children of his age attend
      school. At present he is putting up a strong resistance to learning to read and spell, but
      he writes very neatly, does his sums accurately and shows a real talent for drawing. If
      only he had the will to learn I feel he would do very well.

      Jim now just four, is too young for lessons but too intelligent to be interested in
      the ayah’s attempts at entertainment. Yes I’ve had to engage a native girl to look after
      Henry from 9 am to 12.30 when I supervise John’s Correspondence Course. She is
      clean and amiable, but like most African women she has no initiative at all when it comes
      to entertaining children. Most African men and youths are good at this.

      I don’t regret our stay at Lyamungu. It is a beautiful spot and the change to the
      cooler climate after the heat of Morogoro has been good for all the children. John is still
      tall for his age but not so thin as he was and much less pale. He is a handsome little lad
      with his large brown eyes in striking contrast to his fair hair. He is wary of strangers but
      very observant and quite uncanny in the way he sums up people. He seldom gets up
      to mischief but I have a feeling he eggs Jim on. Not that Jim needs egging.

      Jim has an absolute flair for mischief but it is all done in such an artless manner that
      it is not easy to punish him. He is a very sturdy child with a cap of almost black silky hair,
      eyes brown, like mine, and a large mouth which is quick to smile and show most beautiful
      white and even teeth. He is most popular with all the native servants and the Game
      Scouts. The servants call Jim, ‘Bwana Tembo’ (Mr Elephant) because of his sturdy
      build.

      Henry, now nearly two years old, is quite different from the other two in
      appearance. He is fair complexioned and fair haired like Ann and Kate, with large, black
      lashed, light grey eyes. He is a good child, not so merry as Jim was at his age, nor as
      shy as John was. He seldom cries, does not care to be cuddled and is independent and
      strong willed. The servants call Henry, ‘Bwana Ndizi’ (Mr Banana) because he has an
      inexhaustible appetite for this fruit. Fortunately they are very inexpensive here. We buy
      an entire bunch which hangs from a beam on the back verandah, and pluck off the
      bananas as they ripen. This way there is no waste and the fruit never gets bruised as it
      does in greengrocers shops in South Africa. Our three boys make a delightful and
      interesting trio and I do wish you could see them for yourselves.

      We are delighted with the really beautiful photograph of Kate. She is an
      extraordinarily pretty child and looks so happy and healthy and a great credit to you.
      Now that we will be living in Mbeya with a school on the doorstep I hope that we will
      soon be able to arrange for her return home.

      Eleanor.

      c/o Game Dept. Mbeya. 30th October 1945

      Dearest Family.

      How nice to be able to write c/o Game Dept. Mbeya at the head of my letters.
      We arrived here safely after a rather tiresome journey and are installed in a tiny house on
      the edge of the township.

      We left Lyamungu early on the morning of the 22nd. Most of our goods had
      been packed on the big Ford lorry the previous evening, but there were the usual
      delays and farewells. Of our servants, only the cook, Hamisi, accompanied us to
      Mbeya. Japhet, Tovelo and the ayah had to be paid off and largesse handed out.
      Tovelo’s granny had come, bringing a gift of bananas, and she also brought her little
      granddaughter to present a bunch of flowers. The child’s little scolded behind is now
      completely healed. Gifts had to be found for them too.

      At last we were all aboard and what a squash it was! Our few pieces of furniture
      and packing cases and trunks, the cook, his wife, the driver and the turney boy, who
      were to take the truck back to Lyamungu, and all their bits and pieces, bunches of
      bananas and Fanny the dog were all crammed into the body of the lorry. George, the
      children and I were jammed together in the cab. Before we left George looked
      dubiously at the tyres which were very worn and said gloomily that he thought it most
      unlikely that we would make our destination, Dodoma.

      Too true! Shortly after midday, near Kwakachinja, we blew a back tyre and there
      was a tedious delay in the heat whilst the wheel was changed. We were now without a
      spare tyre and George said that he would not risk taking the Ford further than Babati,
      which is less than half way to Dodoma. He drove very slowly and cautiously to Babati
      where he arranged with Sher Mohammed, an Indian trader, for a lorry to take us to
      Dodoma the next morning.

      It had been our intention to spend the night at the furnished Government
      Resthouse at Babati but when we got there we found that it was already occupied by
      several District Officers who had assembled for a conference. So, feeling rather
      disgruntled, we all piled back into the lorry and drove on to a place called Bereku where
      we spent an uncomfortable night in a tumbledown hut.

      Before dawn next morning Sher Mohammed’s lorry drove up, and there was a
      scramble to dress by the light of a storm lamp. The lorry was a very dilapidated one and
      there was already a native woman passenger in the cab. I felt so tired after an almost
      sleepless night that I decided to sit between the driver and this woman with the sleeping
      Henry on my knee. It was as well I did, because I soon found myself dosing off and
      drooping over towards the woman. Had she not been there I might easily have fallen
      out as the battered cab had no door. However I was alert enough when daylight came
      and changed places with the woman to our mutual relief. She was now able to converse
      with the African driver and I was able to enjoy the scenery and the fresh air!
      George, John and Jim were less comfortable. They sat in the lorry behind the
      cab hemmed in by packing cases. As the lorry was an open one the sun beat down
      unmercifully upon them until George, ever resourceful, moved a table to the front of the
      truck. The two boys crouched under this and so got shelter from the sun but they still had
      to endure the dust. Fanny complicated things by getting car sick and with one thing and
      another we were all jolly glad to get to Dodoma.

      We spent the night at the Dodoma Hotel and after hot baths, a good meal and a
      good nights rest we cheerfully boarded a bus of the Tanganyika Bus Service next
      morning to continue our journey to Mbeya. The rest of the journey was uneventful. We slept two nights on the road, the first at Iringa Hotel and the second at Chimala. We
      reached Mbeya on the 27th.

      I was rather taken aback when I first saw the little house which has been allocated
      to us. I had become accustomed to the spacious houses we had in Morogoro and
      Lyamungu. However though the house is tiny it is secluded and has a long garden
      sloping down to the road in front and another long strip sloping up behind. The front
      garden is shaded by several large cypress and eucalyptus trees but the garden behind
      the house has no shade and consists mainly of humpy beds planted with hundreds of
      carnations sadly in need of debudding. I believe that the previous Game Ranger’s wife
      cultivated the carnations and, by selling them, raised money for War Funds.
      Like our own first home, this little house is built of sun dried brick. Its original
      owners were Germans. It is now rented to the Government by the Custodian of Enemy
      Property, and George has his office in another ex German house.

      This afternoon we drove to the school to arrange about enrolling John there. The
      school is about four miles out of town. It was built by the German settlers in the late
      1930’s and they were justifiably proud of it. It consists of a great assembly hall and
      classrooms in one block and there are several attractive single storied dormitories. This
      school was taken over by the Government when the Germans were interned on the
      outbreak of war and many improvements have been made to the original buildings. The
      school certainly looks very attractive now with its grassed playing fields and its lawns and
      bright flower beds.

      The Union Jack flies from a tall flagpole in front of the Hall and all traces of the
      schools German origin have been firmly erased. We met the Headmaster, Mr
      Wallington, and his wife and some members of the staff. The school is co-educational
      and caters for children from the age of seven to standard six. The leaving age is elastic
      owing to the fact that many Tanganyika children started school very late because of lack
      of educational facilities in this country.

      The married members of the staff have their own cottages in the grounds. The
      Matrons have quarters attached to the dormitories for which they are responsible. I felt
      most enthusiastic about the school until I discovered that the Headmaster is adamant
      upon one subject. He utterly refuses to take any day pupils at the school. So now our
      poor reserved Johnny will have to adjust himself to boarding school life.
      We have arranged that he will start school on November 5th and I shall be very
      busy trying to assemble his school uniform at short notice. The clothing list is sensible.
      Boys wear khaki shirts and shorts on weekdays with knitted scarlet jerseys when the
      weather is cold. On Sundays they wear grey flannel shorts and blazers with the silver
      and scarlet school tie.

      Mbeya looks dusty, brown and dry after the lush evergreen vegetation of
      Lyamungu, but I prefer this drier climate and there are still mountains to please the eye.
      In fact the lower slopes of Lolesa Mountain rise at the upper end of our garden.

      Eleanor.

      c/o Game Dept. Mbeya. 21st November 1945

      Dearest Family.

      We’re quite settled in now and I have got the little house fixed up to my
      satisfaction. I have engaged a rather uncouth looking houseboy but he is strong and
      capable and now that I am not tied down in the mornings by John’s lessons I am able to
      go out occasionally in the mornings and take Jim and Henry to play with other children.
      They do not show any great enthusiasm but are not shy by nature as John is.
      I have had a good deal of heartache over putting John to boarding school. It
      would have been different had he been used to the company of children outside his
      own family, or if he had even known one child there. However he seems to be adjusting
      himself to the life, though slowly. At least he looks well and tidy and I am quite sure that
      he is well looked after.

      I must confess that when the time came for John to go to school I simply did not
      have the courage to take him and he went alone with George, looking so smart in his
      new uniform – but his little face so bleak. The next day, Sunday, was visiting day but the
      Headmaster suggested that we should give John time to settle down and not visit him
      until Wednesday.

      When we drove up to the school I spied John on the far side of the field walking
      all alone. Instead of running up with glad greetings, as I had expected, he came almost
      reluctently and had little to say. I asked him to show me his dormitory and classroom and
      he did so politely as though I were a stranger. At last he volunteered some information.
      “Mummy,” he said in an awed voice, Do you know on the night I came here they burnt a
      man! They had a big fire and they burnt him.” After a blank moment the penny dropped.
      Of course John had started school and November the fifth but it had never entered my
      head to tell him about that infamous character, Guy Fawkes!

      I asked John’s Matron how he had settled down. “Well”, she said thoughtfully,
      John is very good and has not cried as many of the juniors do when they first come
      here, but he seems to keep to himself all the time.” I went home very discouraged but
      on the Sunday John came running up with another lad of about his own age.” This is my
      friend Marks,” he announced proudly. I could have hugged Marks.

      Mbeya is very different from the small settlement we knew in the early 1930’s.
      Gone are all the colourful characters from the Lupa diggings for the alluvial claims are all
      worked out now, gone also are our old friends the Menzies from the Pub and also most
      of the Government Officials we used to know. Mbeya has lost its character of a frontier
      township and has become almost suburban.

      The social life revolves around two places, the Club and the school. The Club
      which started out as a little two roomed building, has been expanded and the golf
      course improved. There are also tennis courts and a good library considering the size of
      the community. There are frequent parties and dances, though most of the club revenue
      comes from Bar profits. The parties are relatively sober affairs compared with the parties
      of the 1930’s.

      The school provides entertainment of another kind. Both Mr and Mrs Wallington
      are good amateur actors and I am told that they run an Amateur Dramatic Society. Every
      Wednesday afternoon there is a hockey match at the school. Mbeya town versus a
      mixed team of staff and scholars. The match attracts almost the whole European
      population of Mbeya. Some go to play hockey, others to watch, and others to snatch
      the opportunity to visit their children. I shall have to try to arrange a lift to school when
      George is away on safari.

      I have now met most of the local women and gladly renewed an old friendship
      with Sheilagh Waring whom I knew two years ago at Morogoro. Sheilagh and I have
      much in common, the same disregard for the trappings of civilisation, the same sense of
      the ludicrous, and children. She has eight to our six and she has also been cut off by the
      war from two of her children. Sheilagh looks too young and pretty to be the mother of so
      large a family and is, in fact, several years younger than I am. her husband, Donald, is a
      large quiet man who, as far as I can judge takes life seriously.

      Our next door neighbours are the Bank Manager and his wife, a very pleasant
      couple though we seldom meet. I have however had correspondence with the Bank
      Manager. Early on Saturday afternoon their houseboy brought a note. It informed me
      that my son was disturbing his rest by precipitating a heart attack. Was I aware that my
      son was about 30 feet up in a tree and balanced on a twig? I ran out and,sure enough,
      there was Jim, right at the top of the tallest eucalyptus tree. It would be the one with the
      mound of stones at the bottom! You should have heard me fluting in my most
      wheedling voice. “Sweets, Jimmy, come down slowly dear, I’ve some nice sweets for
      you.”

      I’ll bet that little story makes you smile. I remember how often you have told me
      how, as a child, I used to make your hearts turn over because I had no fear of heights
      and how I used to say, “But that is silly, I won’t fall.” I know now only too well, how you
      must have felt.

      Eleanor.

      c/o Game Dept. Mbeya. 14th January 1946

      Dearest Family.

      I hope that by now you have my telegram to say that Kate got home safely
      yesterday. It was wonderful to have her back and what a beautiful child she is! Kate
      seems to have enjoyed the train journey with Miss Craig, in spite of the tears she tells
      me she shed when she said good-bye to you. She also seems to have felt quite at
      home with the Hopleys at Salisbury. She flew from Salisbury in a small Dove aircraft
      and they had a smooth passage though Kate was a little airsick.

      I was so excited about her home coming! This house is so tiny that I had to turn
      out the little store room to make a bedroom for her. With a fresh coat of whitewash and
      pretty sprigged curtains and matching bedspread, borrowed from Sheilagh Waring, the
      tiny room looks most attractive. I had also iced a cake, made ice-cream and jelly and
      bought crackers for the table so that Kate’s home coming tea could be a proper little
      celebration.

      I was pleased with my preparations and then, a few hours before the plane was
      due, my crowned front tooth dropped out, peg and all! When my houseboy wants to
      describe something very tatty, he calls it “Second-hand Kabisa.” Kabisa meaning
      absolutely. That is an apt description of how I looked and felt. I decided to try some
      emergency dentistry. I think you know our nearest dentist is at Dar es Salaam five
      hundred miles away.

      First I carefully dried the tooth and with a match stick covered the peg and base
      with Durofix. I then took the infants rubber bulb enema, sucked up some heat from a
      candle flame and pumped it into the cavity before filling that with Durofix. Then hopefully
      I stuck the tooth in its former position and held it in place for several minutes. No good. I
      sent the houseboy to a shop for Scotine and tried the whole process again. No good
      either.

      When George came home for lunch I appealed to him for advice. He jokingly
      suggested that a maize seed jammed into the space would probably work, but when
      he saw that I really was upset he produced some chewing gum and suggested that I
      should try that . I did and that worked long enough for my first smile anyway.
      George and the three boys went to meet Kate but I remained at home to
      welcome her there. I was afraid that after all this time away Kate might be reluctant to
      rejoin the family but she threw her arms around me and said “Oh Mummy,” We both
      shed a few tears and then we both felt fine.

      How gay Kate is, and what an infectious laugh she has! The boys follow her
      around in admiration. John in fact asked me, “Is Kate a Princess?” When I said
      “Goodness no, Johnny, she’s your sister,” he explained himself by saying, “Well, she
      has such golden hair.” Kate was less complementary. When I tucked her in bed last night
      she said, “Mummy, I didn’t expect my little brothers to be so yellow!” All three boys
      have been taking a course of Atebrin, an anti-malarial drug which tinges skin and eyeballs
      yellow.

      So now our tiny house is bursting at its seams and how good it feels to have one
      more child under our roof. We are booked to sail for England in May and when we return
      we will have Ann and George home too. Then I shall feel really content.

      Eleanor.

      c/o Game Dept. Mbeya. 2nd March 1946

      Dearest Family.

      My life just now is uneventful but very busy. I am sewing hard and knitting fast to
      try to get together some warm clothes for our leave in England. This is not a simple
      matter because woollen materials are in short supply and very expensive, and now that
      we have boarding school fees to pay for both Kate and John we have to budget very
      carefully indeed.

      Kate seems happy at school. She makes friends easily and seems to enjoy
      communal life. John also seems reconciled to school now that Kate is there. He no
      longer feels that he is the only exile in the family. He seems to rub along with the other
      boys of his age and has a couple of close friends. Although Mbeya School is coeducational
      the smaller boys and girls keep strictly apart. It is considered extremely
      cissy to play with girls.

      The local children are allowed to go home on Sundays after church and may bring
      friends home with them for the day. Both John and Kate do this and Sunday is a very
      busy day for me. The children come home in their Sunday best but bring play clothes to
      change into. There is always a scramble to get them to bath and change again in time to
      deliver them to the school by 6 o’clock.

      When George is home we go out to the school for the morning service. This is
      taken by the Headmaster Mr Wallington, and is very enjoyable. There is an excellent
      school choir to lead the singing. The service is the Church of England one, but is
      attended by children of all denominations, except the Roman Catholics. I don’t think that
      more than half the children are British. A large proportion are Greeks, some as old as
      sixteen, and about the same number are Afrikaners. There are Poles and non-Nazi
      Germans, Swiss and a few American children.

      All instruction is through the medium of English and it is amazing how soon all the
      foreign children learn to chatter in English. George has been told that we will return to
      Mbeya after our leave and for that I am very thankful as it means that we will still be living
      near at hand when Jim and Henry start school. Because many of these children have to
      travel many hundreds of miles to come to school, – Mbeya is a two day journey from the
      railhead, – the school year is divided into two instead of the usual three terms. This
      means that many of these children do not see their parents for months at a time. I think
      this is a very sad state of affairs especially for the seven and eight year olds but the
      Matrons assure me , that many children who live on isolated farms and stations are quite
      reluctant to go home because they miss the companionship and the games and
      entertainment that the school offers.

      My only complaint about the life here is that I see far too little of George. He is
      kept extremely busy on this range and is hardly at home except for a few days at the
      months end when he has to be at his office to check up on the pay vouchers and the
      issue of ammunition to the Scouts. George’s Range takes in the whole of the Southern
      Province and the Southern half of the Western Province and extends to the border with
      Northern Rhodesia and right across to Lake Tanganyika. This vast area is patrolled by
      only 40 Game Scouts because the Department is at present badly under staffed, due
      partly to the still acute shortage of rifles, but even more so to the extraordinary reluctance
      which the Government shows to allocate adequate funds for the efficient running of the
      Department.

      The Game Scouts must see that the Game Laws are enforced, protect native
      crops from raiding elephant, hippo and other game animals. Report disease amongst game and deal with stock raiding lions. By constantly going on safari and checking on
      their work, George makes sure the range is run to his satisfaction. Most of the Game
      Scouts are fine fellows but, considering they receive only meagre pay for dangerous
      and exacting work, it is not surprising that occasionally a Scout is tempted into accepting
      a bribe not to report a serious infringement of the Game Laws and there is, of course,
      always the temptation to sell ivory illicitly to unscrupulous Indian and Arab traders.
      Apart from supervising the running of the Range, George has two major jobs.
      One is to supervise the running of the Game Free Area along the Rhodesia –
      Tanganyika border, and the other to hunt down the man-eating lions which for years have
      terrorised the Njombe District killing hundreds of Africans. Yes I know ‘hundreds’ sounds
      fantastic, but this is perfectly true and one day, when the job is done and the official
      report published I shall send it to you to prove it!

      I hate to think of the Game Free Area and so does George. All the game from
      buffalo to tiny duiker has been shot out in a wide belt extending nearly two hundred
      miles along the Northern Rhodesia -Tanganyika border. There are three Europeans in
      widely spaced camps who supervise this slaughter by African Game Guards. This
      horrible measure is considered necessary by the Veterinary Departments of
      Tanganyika, Rhodesia and South Africa, to prevent the cattle disease of Rinderpest
      from spreading South.

      When George is home however, we do relax and have fun. On the Saturday
      before the school term started we took Kate and the boys up to the top fishing camp in
      the Mporoto Mountains for her first attempt at trout fishing. There are three of these
      camps built by the Mbeya Trout Association on the rivers which were first stocked with
      the trout hatched on our farm at Mchewe. Of the three, the top camp is our favourite. The
      scenery there is most glorious and reminds me strongly of the rivers of the Western
      Cape which I so loved in my childhood.

      The river, the Kawira, flows from the Rungwe Mountain through a narrow valley
      with hills rising steeply on either side. The water runs swiftly over smooth stones and
      sometimes only a foot or two below the level of the banks. It is sparkling and shallow,
      but in places the water is deep and dark and the banks high. I had a busy day keeping
      an eye on the boys, especially Jim, who twice climbed out on branches which overhung
      deep water. “Mummy, I was only looking for trout!”

      How those kids enjoyed the freedom of the camp after the comparative
      restrictions of town. So did Fanny, she raced about on the hills like a mad dog chasing
      imaginary rabbits and having the time of her life. To escape the noise and commotion
      George had gone far upstream to fish and returned in the late afternoon with three good
      sized trout and four smaller ones. Kate proudly showed George the two she had caught
      with the assistance or our cook Hamisi. I fear they were caught in a rather unorthodox
      manner but this I kept a secret from George who is a stickler for the orthodox in trout
      fishing.

      Eleanor.

      Jacksdale England 24th June 1946

      Dearest Family.

      Here we are all together at last in England. You cannot imagine how wonderful it
      feels to have the whole Rushby family reunited. I find myself counting heads. Ann,
      George, Kate, John, Jim, and Henry. All present and well. We had a very pleasant trip
      on the old British India Ship Mantola. She was crowded with East Africans going home
      for the first time since the war, many like us, eagerly looking forward to a reunion with their
      children whom they had not seen for years. There was a great air of anticipation and
      good humour but a little anxiety too.

      “I do hope our children will be glad to see us,” said one, and went on to tell me
      about a Doctor from Dar es Salaam who, after years of separation from his son had
      recently gone to visit him at his school. The Doctor had alighted at the railway station
      where he had arranged to meet his son. A tall youth approached him and said, very
      politely, “Excuse me sir. Are you my Father?” Others told me of children who had
      become so attached to their relatives in England that they gave their parents a very cool
      reception. I began to feel apprehensive about Ann and George but fortunately had no
      time to mope.

      Oh, that washing and ironing for six! I shall remember for ever that steamy little
      laundry in the heat of the Red Sea and queuing up for the ironing and the feeling of guilt
      at the size of my bundle. We met many old friends amongst the passengers, and made
      some new ones, so the voyage was a pleasant one, We did however have our
      anxious moments.

      John was the first to disappear and we had an anxious search for him. He was
      quite surprised that we had been concerned. “I was just talking to my friend Chinky
      Chinaman in his workshop.” Could John have called him that? Then, when I returned to
      the cabin from dinner one night I found Henry swigging Owbridge’s Lung Tonic. He had
      drunk half the bottle neat and the label said ‘five drops in water’. Luckily it did not harm
      him.

      Jim of course was forever risking his neck. George had forbidden him to climb on
      the railings but he was forever doing things which no one had thought of forbidding him
      to do, like hanging from the overhead pipes on the deck or standing on the sill of a
      window and looking down at the well deck far below. An Officer found him doing this and
      gave me the scolding.

      Another day he climbed up on a derrick used for hoisting cargo. George,
      oblivious to this was sitting on the hatch cover with other passengers reading a book. I
      was in the wash house aft on the same deck when Kate rushed in and said, “Mummy
      come and see Jim.” Before I had time to more than gape, the butcher noticed Jim and
      rushed out knife in hand. “Get down from there”, he bellowed. Jim got, and with such
      speed that he caught the leg or his shorts on a projecting piece of metal. The cotton
      ripped across the seam from leg to leg and Jim stood there for a humiliating moment in a
      sort of revealing little kilt enduring the smiles of the passengers who had looked up from
      their books at the butcher’s shout.

      That incident cured Jim of his urge to climb on the ship but he managed to give
      us one more fright. He was lost off Dover. People from whom we enquired said, “Yes
      we saw your little boy. He was by the railings watching that big aircraft carrier.” Now Jim,
      though mischievous , is very obedient. It was not until George and I had conducted an
      exhaustive search above and below decks that I really became anxious. Could he have
      fallen overboard? Jim was returned to us by an unamused Officer. He had been found
      in one of the lifeboats on the deck forbidden to children.

      Our ship passed Dover after dark and it was an unforgettable sight. Dover Castle
      and the cliffs were floodlit for the Victory Celebrations. One of the men passengers sat
      down at the piano and played ‘The White Cliffs of Dover’, and people sang and a few
      wept. The Mantola docked at Tilbury early next morning in a steady drizzle.
      There was a dockers strike on and it took literally hours for all the luggage to be
      put ashore. The ships stewards simply locked the public rooms and went off leaving the
      passengers shivering on the docks. Eventually damp and bedraggled, we arrived at St
      Pancras Station and were given a warm welcome by George’s sister Cath and her
      husband Reg Pears, who had come all the way from Nottingham to meet us.
      As we had to spend an hour in London before our train left for Nottingham,
      George suggested that Cath and I should take the children somewhere for a meal. So
      off we set in the cold drizzle, the boys and I without coats and laden with sundry
      packages, including a hand woven native basket full of shoes. We must have looked like
      a bunch of refugees as we stood in the hall of The Kings Cross Station Hotel because a
      supercilious waiter in tails looked us up and down and said, “I’m afraid not Madam”, in
      answer to my enquiry whether the hotel could provide lunch for six.
      Anyway who cares! We had lunch instead at an ABC tea room — horrible
      sausage and a mound or rather sloppy mashed potatoes, but very good ice-cream.
      After the train journey in a very grimy third class coach, through an incredibly green and
      beautiful countryside, we eventually reached Nottingham and took a bus to Jacksdale,
      where George’s mother and sisters live in large detached houses side by side.
      Ann and George were at the bus stop waiting for us, and thank God, submitted
      to my kiss as though we had been parted for weeks instead of eight years. Even now
      that we are together again my heart aches to think of all those missed years. They have
      not changed much and I would have picked them out of a crowd, but Ann, once thin and
      pale, is now very rosy and blooming. She still has her pretty soft plaits and her eyes are
      still a clear calm blue. Young George is very striking looking with sparkling brown eyes, a
      ready, slightly lopsided smile, and charming manners.

      Mother, and George’s elder sister, Lottie Giles, welcomed us at the door with the
      cheering news that our tea was ready. Ann showed us the way to mother’s lovely lilac
      tiled bathroom for a wash before tea. Before I had even turned the tap, Jim had hung
      form the glass towel rail and it lay in three pieces on the floor. There have since been
      similar tragedies. I can see that life in civilisation is not without snags.

      I am most grateful that Ann and George have accepted us so naturally and
      affectionately. Ann said candidly, “Mummy, it’s a good thing that you had Aunt Cath with
      you when you arrived because, honestly, I wouldn’t have known you.”

      Eleanor.

      Jacksdale England 28th August 1946

      Dearest Family.

      I am sorry that I have not written for some time but honestly, I don’t know whether
      I’m coming or going. Mother handed the top floor of her house to us and the
      arrangement was that I should tidy our rooms and do our laundry and Mother would
      prepare the meals except for breakfast. It looked easy at first. All the rooms have wall to
      wall carpeting and there was a large vacuum cleaner in the box room. I was told a
      window cleaner would do the windows.

      Well the first time I used the Hoover I nearly died of fright. I pressed the switch
      and immediately there was a roar and the bag filled with air to bursting point, or so I
      thought. I screamed for Ann and she came at the run. I pointed to the bag and shouted
      above the din, “What must I do? It’s going to burst!” Ann looked at me in astonishment
      and said, “But Mummy that’s the way it works.” I couldn’t have her thinking me a
      complete fool so I switched the current off and explained to Ann how it was that I had
      never seen this type of equipment in action. How, in Tanganyika , I had never had a
      house with electricity and that, anyway, electric equipment would be superfluous
      because floors are of cement which the houseboy polishes by hand, one only has a
      few rugs or grass mats on the floor. “But what about Granny’s house in South Africa?’”
      she asked, so I explained about your Josephine who threatened to leave if you
      bought a Hoover because that would mean that you did not think she kept the house
      clean. The sad fact remains that, at fourteen, Ann knows far more about housework than I
      do, or rather did! I’m learning fast.

      The older children all go to school at different times in the morning. Ann leaves first
      by bus to go to her Grammar School at Sutton-in-Ashfield. Shortly afterwards George
      catches a bus for Nottingham where he attends the High School. So they have
      breakfast in relays, usually scrambled egg made from a revolting dried egg mixture.
      Then there are beds to make and washing and ironing to do, so I have little time for
      sightseeing, though on a few afternoons George has looked after the younger children
      and I have gone on bus tours in Derbyshire. Life is difficult here with all the restrictions on
      foodstuffs. We all have ration books so get our fair share but meat, fats and eggs are
      scarce and expensive. The weather is very wet. At first I used to hang out the washing
      and then rush to bring it in when a shower came. Now I just let it hang.

      We have left our imprint upon my Mother-in-law’s house for ever. Henry upset a
      bottle of Milk of Magnesia in the middle of the pale fawn bedroom carpet. John, trying to
      be helpful and doing some dusting, broke one of the delicate Dresden china candlesticks
      which adorn our bedroom mantelpiece.Jim and Henry have wrecked the once
      professionally landscaped garden and all the boys together bored a large hole through
      Mother’s prized cherry tree. So now Mother has given up and gone off to Bournemouth
      for a much needed holiday. Once a week I have the capable help of a cleaning woman,
      called for some reason, ‘Mrs Two’, but I have now got all the cooking to do for eight. Mrs
      Two is a godsend. She wears, of all things, a print mob cap with a hole in it. Says it
      belonged to her Grandmother. Her price is far beyond Rubies to me, not so much
      because she does, in a couple of hours, what it takes me all day to do, but because she
      sells me boxes of fifty cigarettes. Some non-smoking relative, who works in Players
      tobacco factory, passes on his ration to her. Until Mrs Two came to my rescue I had
      been starved of cigarettes. Each time I asked for them at the shop the grocer would say,
      “Are you registered with us?” Only very rarely would some kindly soul sell me a little
      packet of five Woodbines.

      England is very beautiful but the sooner we go home to Tanganyika, the better.
      On this, George and I and the children agree.

      Eleanor.

      Jacksdale England 20th September 1946

      Dearest Family.

      Our return passages have now been booked on the Winchester Castle and we
      sail from Southampton on October the sixth. I look forward to returning to Tanganyika but
      hope to visit England again in a few years time when our children are older and when
      rationing is a thing of the past.

      I have grown fond of my Sisters-in-law and admire my Mother-in-law very much.
      She has a great sense of humour and has entertained me with stories of her very
      eventful life, and told me lots of little stories of the children which did not figure in her
      letters. One which amused me was about young George. During one of the air raids
      early in the war when the sirens were screaming and bombers roaring overhead Mother
      made the two children get into the cloak cupboard under the stairs. Young George
      seemed quite unconcerned about the planes and the bombs but soon an anxious voice
      asked in the dark, “Gran, what will I do if a spider falls on me?” I am afraid that Mother is
      going to miss Ann and George very much.

      I had a holiday last weekend when Lottie and I went up to London on a spree. It
      was a most enjoyable weekend, though very rushed. We placed ourselves in the
      hands of Thos. Cook and Sons and saw most of the sights of London and were run off
      our feet in the process. As you all know London I shall not describe what I saw but just
      to say that, best of all, I enjoyed walking along the Thames embankment in the evening
      and the changing of the Guard at Whitehall. On Sunday morning Lottie and I went to
      Kew Gardens and in the afternoon walked in Kensington Gardens.

      We went to only one show, ‘The Skin of our Teeth’ starring Vivienne Leigh.
      Neither of us enjoyed the performance at all and regretted having spent so much on
      circle seats. The show was far too highbrow for my taste, a sort of satire on the survival
      of the human race. Miss Leigh was unrecognisable in a blond wig and her voice strident.
      However the night was not a dead loss as far as entertainment was concerned as we
      were later caught up in a tragicomedy at our hotel.

      We had booked communicating rooms at the enormous Imperial Hotel in Russell
      Square. These rooms were comfortably furnished but very high up, and we had a rather
      terrifying and dreary view from the windows of the enclosed courtyard far below. We
      had some snacks and a chat in Lottie’s room and then I moved to mine and went to bed.
      I had noted earlier that there was a special lock on the outer door of my room so that
      when the door was closed from the inside it automatically locked itself.
      I was just dropping off to sleep when I heard a hammering which seemed to
      come from my wardrobe. I got up, rather fearfully, and opened the wardrobe door and
      noted for the first time that the wardrobe was set in an opening in the wall and that the
      back of the wardrobe also served as the back of the wardrobe in the room next door. I
      quickly shut it again and went to confer with Lottie.

      Suddenly a male voice was raised next door in supplication, “Mary Mother of
      God, Help me! They’ve locked me in!” and the hammering resumed again, sometimes
      on the door, and then again on the back of the wardrobe of the room next door. Lottie
      had by this time joined me and together we listened to the prayers and to the
      hammering. Then the voice began to threaten, “If you don’t let me out I’ll jump out of the
      window.” Great consternation on our side of the wall. I went out into the passage and
      called through the door, “You’re not locked in. Come to your door and I’ll tell you how to
      open it.” Silence for a moment and then again the prayers followed by a threat. All the
      other doors in the corridor remained shut.

      Luckily just then a young man and a woman came walking down the corridor and I
      explained the situation. The young man hurried off for the night porter who went into the
      next door room. In a matter of minutes there was peace next door. When the night
      porter came out into the corridor again I asked for an explanation. He said quite casually,
      “It’s all right Madam. He’s an Irish Gentleman in Show Business. He gets like this on a
      Saturday night when he has had a drop too much. He won’t give any more trouble
      now.” And he didn’t. Next morning at breakfast Lottie and I tried to spot the gentleman in
      the Show Business, but saw no one who looked like the owner of that charming Irish
      voice.

      George had to go to London on business last Monday and took the older
      children with him for a few hours of sight seeing. They returned quite unimpressed.
      Everything was too old and dirty and there were far too many people about, but they
      had enjoyed riding on the escalators at the tube stations, and all agreed that the highlight
      of the trip was, “Dad took us to lunch at the Chicken Inn.”

      Now that it is almost time to leave England I am finding the housework less of a
      drudgery, Also, as it is school holiday time, Jim and Henry are able to go on walks with
      the older children and so use up some of their surplus energy. Cath and I took the
      children (except young George who went rabbit shooting with his uncle Reg, and
      Henry, who stayed at home with his dad) to the Wakes at Selston, the neighbouring
      village. There were the roundabouts and similar contraptions but the side shows had
      more appeal for the children. Ann and Kate found a stall where assorted prizes were
      spread out on a sloping table. Anyone who could land a penny squarely on one of
      these objects was given a similar one as a prize.

      I was touched to see that both girls ignored all the targets except a box of fifty
      cigarettes which they were determined to win for me. After numerous attempts, Kate
      landed her penny successfully and you would have loved to have seen her radiant little
      face.

      Eleanor.

      Dar es Salaam 22nd October 1946

      Dearest Family.

      Back in Tanganyika at last, but not together. We have to stay in Dar es Salaam
      until tomorrow when the train leaves for Dodoma. We arrived yesterday morning to find
      all the hotels filled with people waiting to board ships for England. Fortunately some
      friends came to the rescue and Ann, Kate and John have gone to stay with them. Jim,
      Henry and I are sleeping in a screened corner of the lounge of the New Africa Hotel, and
      George and young George have beds in the Palm Court of the same hotel.

      We travelled out from England in the Winchester Castle under troopship
      conditions. We joined her at Southampton after a rather slow train journey from
      Nottingham. We arrived after dark and from the station we could see a large ship in the
      docks with a floodlit red funnel. “Our ship,” yelled the children in delight, but it was not the
      Winchester Castle but the Queen Elizabeth, newly reconditioned.

      We had hoped to board our ship that evening but George made enquiries and
      found that we would not be allowed on board until noon next day. Without much hope,
      we went off to try to get accommodation for eight at a small hotel recommended by the
      taxi driver. Luckily for us there was a very motherly woman at the reception desk. She
      looked in amusement at the six children and said to me, “Goodness are all these yours,
      ducks? Then she called over her shoulder, “Wilf, come and see this lady with lots of
      children. We must try to help.” They settled the problem most satisfactorily by turning
      two rooms into a dormitory.

      In the morning we had time to inspect bomb damage in the dock area of
      Southampton. Most of the rubble had been cleared away but there are still numbers of
      damaged buildings awaiting demolition. A depressing sight. We saw the Queen Mary
      at anchor, still in her drab war time paint, but magnificent nevertheless.
      The Winchester Castle was crammed with passengers and many travelled in
      acute discomfort. We were luckier than most because the two girls, the three small boys
      and I had a stateroom to ourselves and though it was stripped of peacetime comforts,
      we had a private bathroom and toilet. The two Georges had bunks in a huge men-only
      dormitory somewhere in the bowls of the ship where they had to share communal troop
      ship facilities. The food was plentiful but unexciting and one had to queue for afternoon
      tea. During the day the decks were crowded and there was squatting room only. The
      many children on board got bored.

      Port Said provided a break and we were all entertained by the ‘Gully Gully’ man
      and his conjuring tricks, and though we had no money to spend at Simon Artz, we did at
      least have a chance to stretch our legs. Next day scores of passengers took ill with
      sever stomach upsets, whether from food poisoning, or as was rumoured, from bad
      water taken on at the Egyptian port, I don’t know. Only the two Georges in our family
      were affected and their attacks were comparatively mild.

      As we neared the Kenya port of Mombassa, the passengers for Dar es Salaam
      were told that they would have to disembark at Mombassa and continue their journey in
      a small coaster, the Al Said. The Winchester Castle is too big for the narrow channel
      which leads to Dar es Salaam harbour.

      From the wharf the Al Said looked beautiful. She was once the private yacht of
      the Sultan of Zanzibar and has lovely lines. Our admiration lasted only until we were
      shown our cabins. With one voice our children exclaimed, “Gosh they stink!” They did, of
      a mixture of rancid oil and sweat and stale urine. The beds were not yet made and the
      thin mattresses had ominous stains on them. John, ever fastidious, lifted his mattress and two enormous cockroaches scuttled for cover.

      We had a good homely lunch served by two smiling African stewards and
      afterwards we sat on deck and that was fine too, though behind ones enjoyment there
      was the thought of those stuffy and dirty cabins. That first night nearly everyone,
      including George and our older children, slept on deck. Women occupied deck chairs
      and men and children slept on the bare decks. Horrifying though the idea was, I decided
      that, as Jim had a bad cough, he, Henry and I would sleep in our cabin.

      When I announced my intention of sleeping in the cabin one of the passengers
      gave me some insecticide spray which I used lavishly, but without avail. The children
      slept but I sat up all night with the light on, determined to keep at least their pillows clear
      of the cockroaches which scurried about boldly regardless of the light. All the next day
      and night we avoided the cabins. The Al Said stopped for some hours at Zanzibar to
      offload her deck cargo of live cattle and packing cases from the hold. George and the
      elder children went ashore for a walk but I felt too lazy and there was plenty to watch
      from deck.

      That night I too occupied a deck chair and slept quite comfortably, and next
      morning we entered the palm fringed harbour of Dar es Salaam and were home.

      Eleanor.

      Mbeya 1st November 1946

      Dearest Family.

      Home at last! We are all most happily installed in a real family house about three
      miles out of Mbeya and near the school. This house belongs to an elderly German and
      has been taken over by the Custodian of Enemy Property and leased to the
      Government.

      The owner, whose name is Shenkel, was not interned but is allowed to occupy a
      smaller house on the Estate. I found him in the garden this morning lecturing the children
      on what they may do and may not do. I tried to make it quite clear to him that he was not
      our landlord, though he clearly thinks otherwise. After he had gone I had to take two
      aspirin and lie down to recover my composure! I had been warned that he has this effect
      on people.

      Mr Shenkel is a short and ugly man, his clothes are stained with food and he
      wears steel rimmed glasses tied round his head with a piece of dirty elastic because
      one earpiece is missing. He speaks with a thick German accent but his English is fluent
      and I believe he is a cultured and clever man. But he is maddening. The children were
      more amused than impressed by his exhortations and have happily Christened our
      home, ‘Old Shenks’.

      The house has very large grounds as the place is really a derelict farm. It suits us
      down to the ground. We had no sooner unpacked than George went off on safari after
      those maneating lions in the Njombe District. he accounted for one, and a further two
      jointly with a Game Scout, before we left for England. But none was shot during the five
      months we were away as George’s relief is quite inexperienced in such work. George
      thinks that there are still about a dozen maneaters at large. His theory is that a female
      maneater moved into the area in 1938 when maneating first started, and brought up her
      cubs to be maneaters, and those cubs in turn did the same. The three maneating lions
      that have been shot were all in very good condition and not old and maimed as
      maneaters usually are.

      George anticipates that it will be months before all these lions are accounted for
      because they are constantly on the move and cover a very large area. The lions have to
      be hunted on foot because they range over broken country covered by bush and fairly
      dense thicket.

      I did a bit of shooting myself yesterday and impressed our African servants and
      the children and myself. What a fluke! Our houseboy came to say that there was a snake
      in the garden, the biggest he had ever seen. He said it was too big to kill with a stick and
      would I shoot it. I had no gun but a heavy .450 Webley revolver and I took this and
      hurried out with the children at my heels.

      The snake turned out to be an unusually large puff adder which had just shed its
      skin. It looked beautiful in a repulsive way. So flanked by servants and children I took
      aim and shot, not hitting the head as I had planned, but breaking the snake’s back with
      the heavy bullet. The two native boys then rushed up with sticks and flattened the head.
      “Ma you’re a crack shot,” cried the kids in delighted surprise. I hope to rest on my laurels
      for a long, long while.

      Although there are only a few weeks of school term left the four older children will
      start school on Monday. Not only am I pleased with our new home here but also with
      the staff I have engaged. Our new houseboy, Reuben, (but renamed Robin by our
      children) is not only cheerful and willing but intelligent too, and Jumbe, the wood and
      garden boy, is a born clown and a source of great entertainment to the children.

      I feel sure that we are all going to be very happy here at ‘Old Shenks!.

      Eleanor.

      #6255
      TracyTracy
      Participant

        My Grandparents

        George Samuel Marshall 1903-1995

        Florence Noreen Warren (Nora) 1906-1988

        I always called my grandfather Mop, apparently because I couldn’t say the name Grandpa, but whatever the reason, the name stuck. My younger brother also called him Mop, but our two cousins did not.

        My earliest memories of my grandparents are the picnics.  Grandma and Mop loved going out in the car for a picnic. Favourite spots were the Clee Hills in Shropshire, North Wales, especially Llanbedr, Malvern, and Derbyshire, and closer to home, the caves and silver birch woods at Kinver Edge, Arley by the river Severn, or Bridgnorth, where Grandma’s sister Hildreds family lived.  Stourbridge was on the western edge of the Black Country in the Midlands, so one was quickly in the countryside heading west.  They went north to Derbyshire less, simply because the first part of the trip entailed driving through Wolverhampton and other built up and not particularly pleasant urban areas.  I’m sure they’d have gone there more often, as they were both born in Derbyshire, if not for that initial stage of the journey.

        There was predominantly grey tartan car rug in the car for picnics, and a couple of folding chairs.  There were always a couple of cushions on the back seat, and I fell asleep in the back more times than I can remember, despite intending to look at the scenery.  On the way home Grandma would always sing,  “Show me the way to go home, I’m tired and I want to go to bed, I had a little drink about an hour ago, And it’s gone right to my head.”  I’ve looked online for that song, and have not found it anywhere!

        Grandma didn’t just make sandwiches for picnics, there were extra containers of lettuce, tomatoes, pickles and so on.  I used to love to wash up the picnic plates in the little brook on the Clee Hills, near Cleeton St Mary.  The close cropped grass was ideal for picnics, and Mop and the sheep would Baaa at each other.

        Mop would base the days outting on the weather forcast, but Grandma often used to say he always chose the opposite of what was suggested. She said if you want to go to Derbyshire, tell him you want to go to Wales.  I recall him often saying, on a gloomy day, Look, there’s a bit of clear sky over there.  Mop always did the driving as Grandma never learned to drive. Often she’d dust the dashboard with a tissue as we drove along.

        My brother and I often spent the weekend at our grandparents house, so that our parents could go out on a Saturday night.  They gave us 5 shillings pocket money, which I used to spend on two Ladybird books at 2 shillings and sixpence each.  We had far too many sweets while watching telly in the evening ~ in the dark, as they always turned the lights off to watch television.  The lemonade and pop was Corona, and came in returnable glass bottles.  We had Woodpecker cider too, even though it had a bit of an alcohol content.

        Mop smoked Kensitas and Grandma smoked Sovereign cigarettes, or No6, and the packets came with coupons.  They often let me choose something for myself out of the catalogue when there were enough coupons saved up.

        When I had my first garden, in a rented house a short walk from theirs, they took me to garden nurseries and taught me all about gardening.  In their garden they had berberis across the front of the house under the window, and cotoneaster all along the side of the garage wall. The silver birth tree on the lawn had been purloined as a sapling from Kinver edge, when they first moved into the house.  (they lived in that house on Park Road for more than 60 years).  There were perennials and flowering shrubs along the sides of the back garden, and behind the silver birch, and behind that was the vegeatable garden.  Right at the back was an Anderson shelter turned into a shed, the rhubarb, and the washing line, and the canes for the runner beans in front of those.  There was a little rose covered arch on the path on the left, and privet hedges all around the perimeter.

        My grandfather was a dental technician. He worked for various dentists on their premises over the years, but he always had a little workshop of his own at the back of his garage. His garage was full to the brim of anything that might potentially useful, but it was not chaotic. He knew exactly where to find anything, from the tiniest screw for spectacles to a useful bit of wire. He was “mechanicaly minded” and could always fix things like sewing machines and cars and so on.

        Mop used to let me sit with him in his workshop, and make things out of the pink wax he used for gums to embed the false teeth into prior to making the plaster casts. The porcelain teeth came on cards, and were strung in place by means of little holes on the back end of the teeth. I still have a necklace I made by threading teeth onto a string. There was a foot pedal operated drill in there as well, possibly it was a dentists drill previously, that he used with miniature grinding or polishing attachments. Sometimes I made things out of the pink acrylic used for the final denture, which had a strong smell and used to harden quickly, so you had to work fast. Initially, the workshop was to do the work for Uncle Ralph, Grandmas’s sisters husband, who was a dentist. In later years after Ralph retired, I recall a nice man called Claude used to come in the evening to collect the dentures for another dental laboratory. Mop always called his place of work the laboratory.

        Grandma loved books and was always reading, in her armchair next to the gas fire. I don’t recall seeing Mop reading a book, but he was amazingly well informed about countless topics.
        At family gatherings, Mops favourite topic of conversation after dinner was the atrocities committed over the centuries by organized religion.

        My grandfather played snooker in his younger years at the Conservative club. I recall my father assuming he voted Conservative, and Mop told him in no uncertain terms that he’s always voted Labour. When asked why he played snooker at the Conservative club and not the Labour club, he said with a grin that “it was a better class of people”, but that he’d never vote Conservative because it was of no benefit to the likes of us working people.

        Grandma and her sister in law Marie had a little grocers shop on Brettel Lane in Amblecote for a few years but I have no personal recollection of that as it was during the years we lived in USA. I don’t recall her working other than that. She had a pastry making day once a week, and made Bakewell tart, apple pie, a meat pie, and her own style of pizza. She had an old black hand operated sewing machine, and made curtains and loose covers for the chairs and sofa, but I don’t think she made her own clothes, at least not in later years. I have her sewing machine here in Spain.
        At regular intervals she’d move all the furniture around and change the front room into the living room and the back into the dining room and vice versa. In later years Mop always had the back bedroom (although when I lived with them aged 14, I had the back bedroom, and painted the entire room including the ceiling purple). He had a very lumpy mattress but he said it fit his bad hip perfectly.

        Grandma used to alternate between the tiny bedroom and the big bedroom at the front. (this is in later years, obviously) The wardrobes and chests of drawers never changed, they were oak and substantial, but rather dated in appearance. They had a grandfather clock with a brass face and a grandmother clock. Over the fireplace in the living room was a Utrillo print. The bathroom and lavatory were separate rooms, and the old claw foot bath had wood panels around it to make it look more modern. There was a big hot water geyser above it. Grandma was fond of using stick on Fablon tile effects to try to improve and update the appearance of the bathroom and kitchen. Mop was a generous man, but would not replace household items that continued to function perfectly well. There were electric heaters in all the rooms, of varying designs, and gas fires in living room and dining room. The coal house on the outside wall was later turned into a downstairs shower room, when Mop moved his bedroom downstairs into the front dining room, after Grandma had died and he was getting on.

        Utrillo

        Mop was 91 when he told me he wouldn’t be growing any vegetables that year. He said the sad thing was that he knew he’d never grow vegetables again. He worked part time until he was in his early 80s.

        #6172

        In reply to: Tart Wreck Repackage

        “I think not!” declared Star, knocking the foul concoction out of Tara’s hands as she raised it to her lips. The bilious sludge hit the full length mirror with a thwack, and slid down the glass in a revoltingly lumpy fashion, momentarily mesmerizing them both.

        “Well make your bloody mind up, are the carrots a good thing or a bad thing?” asked Tara with more than a hint of exasperation.  “I can’t seem to keep things straight.”

        Star sighed. “I think we’re supposed to keep an open mind until we know for sure.”

        “Well, it isn’t easy. It would be nice to know what exactly it is that I’m trying to prove.”

        “We won’t know until we find out, which is why you need to keep an open mind, and keep track of what you know for sure, which can be whittled down considerably to manageable proportions when you eliminate all the suppositions.”

        “In a nutshell though, what does that mean with regard to the wardrobe?”

        #6168

        In reply to: Tart Wreck Repackage

        The wardrobe was sitting solidly in the middle of the office, exactly where they had left it.

        Or was it?

        “I was expecting a room full of middle-aged ladies,” said Star, her voice troubled. She frowned at the wardrobe. “Has it moved a little do you think? I’m sure it was closer to the window before. Or was it smaller. There’s something different about it …”

        “Maybe they are inside,” whispered Tara.

        “What! All of them?” Star sniggered nervously.

        “We should check.” But Tara didn’t move— she felt an odd reluctance to approach the wardrobe. “You check, Star.”

        Star shook her head. “Where’s Rosamund? Checking wardrobes for middle-aged drug mules is the sort of job she should be doing.”

        “Are you looking for me?” asked a soft voice from the doorway. Tara and Star spun round.

        “Good grief!” exclaimed Tara. “Rosamund! What are you wearing?”

        Rosamund was dressed in a silky yellow thing that floated to her ankles. Her feet were bare and her long hair, usually worn loose, was now neatly plaited. Encircling the top of her head was a daisy chain. She smiled gently at Star and Tara. “Peace, my friends.” Dozens of gold bracelets jangled as she extended her hands to them. “Come, my dear friends, let us partake of carrot juice together.”

        #6137

        In reply to: Tart Wreck Repackage

        “Shut up, Tara!” hissed Star, “And keep him singing while I think. This is a monumental clue!”

        “But I can’t stand bloody opera singing,” Tara whispered back, “It’ll drive me mad.  When they said he had a melodious voice I was expecting something more modern than this ancient caterwauling.”

        “Do you want to solve this case or not?”

        “Oh alright then,” Tara said grudgingly. “But your thinking better be good!”  She clapped loudly and whistled. “More! More!” she shouted, stamping her feet. The assorted middle aged ladies joined in the applause.

        Star leaned over and whispered in Tara’s ear, “Do you remember that client I had at Madame Limonella’s, that nice old man with a penchant for seeing me dressed up as a 13th century Italian peasant?”

        “Yeah, you had to listen to opera with him, poor thing, but he did tip well.”

        “Well, he told me a lot about opera. I thought it was a waste of time knowing all that useless old stuff, but listen: this song what he’s singing now, he’s singing this on purpose. It’s a clue, you see, to Uncle Basil and why Vince wants to find him.”

        “Go on,” whispered Tara.

        “There’s a lot of money involved, and a will that needs to be changed. If Uncle Basil dies while he’s still in the clutches of that cult, then Vince will lose his chance of inheriting Basil’s money.”

        “Wasn’t that obvious from the start?”

        “Well yes, but we got very cleverly sidetracked with all these middle aged ladies and that wardrobe!  This is where the mule comes in.”

        “What mule?”

        “Shh! Keep your voice down! It’s not the same kind of mule as in the opera, these middle aged ladies are trafficking mules!”

        “Oh well that would make sense, they’d be perfect. Nobody suspects middle aged ladies.  But what are they trafficking, and why are they all here?”

        “They’re here to keep us from finding out the truth with all these silly sidetracks and distractions.  And we’ve stupidly let ourselves be led astray from the real case.”

        “What’s the real case, then?”

        “We need to find Uncle Basil so that Vince can change his will. It wasn’t Vince that was in a coma, as that hatchet faced old butler told us. It was Basil.”

        “How do you know that for sure?” asked Tara.

        “I don’t know for sure, but this is the theory. Once we have a theory, we can prove it.  Now, about that wardrobe. We mustn’t let them take it away. No matter what story they come up with, that wardrobe stays where it is, in our office.”

        “But why? It’s taking up space and it doesn’t go with the clean modern style.  And people keep getting locked inside it, it’s a death trap.”

        “That’s what they want you to think! That it’s just another ghastly old wardrobe!  But it’s how they smuggle the stuff!”

        “What stuff are they smuggling? Drugs?  That doesn’t explain what it’s doing in our office, though.”

        “Well, I had an interesting intuition about that. You know that modified carrot story they tried to palm us off with? Well I reckon it’s vaccines.  They had to come up with a way to vaccinate the anti vaxxers, so they made this batch of vaccines hidden in hallucinogenic carrots.  They’re touting the carrots as a new age spiritual vibration enhancing wake up drug, and the anti vaxxers will flock to it in droves.”

        “Surely if they’re so worried about the ingredients in vaccines, they won’t just take any old illegal drug off the street?”

        Star laughed loudly, quickly putting her hand over her mouth to silence the guffaw.  Thankfully Vince had reached a powerful crescendo and nobody heard her.

        Tara smiled ruefully. “Yeah, I guess that was a silly thing to say.  But now I’m confused.  Whose side are we on? Surely the carrot vaccine is a good idea?  Are we trying to stop them or what?  And what is Vince up to? Falsifying a will?” Tara frowned, puzzled. “Whose side are we on?” she repeated.

        “We’re on the side of the client who pays us, Tara,” Star reminded her.

        “But what if the client is morally bankrupt? What if it goes against our guidelines?”

        “Guidelines don’t come into it when you’re financially bankrupt!” Star snapped.  “Hey, where has everyone gone?”

        “They said they had to pick up a wardrobe,” said the waitress. “Shall I bring you the bill?  They all left without paying, they said you were treating them.”

        “Pay the bill, Tara!” screamed Star, knocking over her chair as she flew out of the door. “And then make haste to the office and help me stop them!”

        #6129

        In reply to: Tart Wreck Repackage

        “Clearly,what we do next, my friend, is free the middle-aged lady,” Tara smiled smugly.”First rule, notwithstanding that I hate rules, if you don’t know what to do, do what you do know what to do, even if you don’t want to do it because at least you’ve done something.”

        “Is that a Lemone quote?” asked Star. “Haven’t heard much of him lately.”

        “No, I made it up myself.”

        “Oh, well … I’m too tired to do anything.You do it, Tara.”

        “No, you do it! Lazy tart.”

        “I’ll do it!” says Rosamund, appearing from nowhere and bounding over to the wardrobe. “I want to borrow her lippy again.” She tugged at the door. “It seems to be stuck.”

        “Let Star try,” said Tara. “She goes to the gym.”

        “It does seem to be rather stuck,” said Star said after a few minutes of fruitless tugging. She knocked on the door of the wardrobe. “Excuse me, are you there? Excuse me … dreadfully sorry about all this.” There was no reply.

        “Dead,” said Tara. “Darn it.”

        Undaunted, Star tried again. After a particularly spirited tug, the door flew open and Star fell backwards. “She’s gone! But she left a note. Thank you, Ladies for your hospitality. This is a clue. At 4pm Thursday, go to the cafe on Main street. Vince French will be there..”

        Tara gasped. “Who was she? That seemingly innocuous middle-aged lady.”

        “Perhaps we will never know,” said Star.

        #6128

        In reply to: Tart Wreck Repackage

        “Never again,” said Tara, pouring her second black coffee.  “I’m done with these hangovers. You’ll have to find someone else to drink with from now on.”

        “You say that every week, Tara.  What are we going to do next? We’re floundering. We don’t even have a plan. Everything we do takes us further away from the case. I don’t even remember what the case is!”

        “Here, have some more coffee.  Don’t roll your eyes at me like that, cases are always like this, they always go through this phase.”  Tara wasn’t in the mood for this kind of depressing talk, it was much too complicated. Surely it was simply a matter of drinking another coffee, until everything fell back into place.

        “Cases do, do they?” Star asked, “Do they really? And what phase would that be, and how would you know?”

        “Snarky tart, yes they do. I’ve been researching things you know, not just swanning around.  We’ve reached the part of the case where nothing makes sense and the investigators don’t know what to do next. It’s an essential part of the process, everyone knows that.  The important thing is not to try and work things out too early. The danger is preconceived ideas, you see,” Tara pontificated, warming to the theme.

        “I can assure you that I have no preconceived ideas because I have no clue what’s going to happen next,” replied Star, trying not to roll her eyes too obviously.  She knew from experience not to provoke Tara too much until at least the third cup of coffee.

        “Precisely!” Tara said triumphantly. “Now it will all start to come together and make sense. ”

        Star didn’t look convinced.  “What are we going to do about the middle aged lady we locked in the wardrobe last night, though?”

        “What did we do that for?!” asked Tara in astonishment.

        “I can’t remember.  Maybe we thought it was Aunt April?”

        “Wait, if Aunt April isn’t in the wardrobe, then where is she?”

        “That’s what I”m saying!” cried Star in exasperation. “What do we do next?”

        #6123

        In reply to: Tart Wreck Repackage

        “Did someone say drinks are on the house?” asked Rosamund, pushing past the burly bouncer as she entered the pub.  “What’s your name, handsome?”

        “Percival,” the bouncer replied with a wry grin.  “Yeah I know, doesn’t fit the image.”

        Rosamund looked him up and down while simultaneously flicking a bit of food from between her teeth with a credit card.  “I keep forgetting to buy dental floss,” she said.

        “Is that really necessary?” hissed Tara. “Is that moving the plot forward?”

        “Careful now,” Star said, “Your Liz is showing.”

        “I’ll be away for a while on an important mission,” Rosamund said to Percival, “But give me your number and I’ll call you when I get back.”

        “The trip is cancelled, you’re not going anywhere,” Star told her, “Except to the shop to buy dental floss.”

        “Will someone please tell me why we’re talking about dental floss when we have this serious case to solve?” Tara sounded exasperated, and glared at Rosamund.  What a brazen hussy she was!

        “I’m glad you mentioned it!” piped up a middle aged lady sitting at the corner table. “I have run out of dental floss too.”

        “See?” said Rosamund.  “You never can tell how helpful you are when you just act yourself and let it flow.  Now tell me why I’m not going to New Zealand? I already packed my suitcase!”

        “Because it seems that New Zealand has come to us,” replied Star, “Or should I say, the signs of the cult are everywhere.  It’s not so much a case of finding the cult as a case of, well finding somewhere the cult hasn’t already infected.  And as for April,” she continued, “She changes her story every five minutes, I think we should ignore everything she says from now on. Nothing but a distraction.”

        “That’s it!” exclaimed Tara. “Exactly! Distraction tactics!  A well known ruse, tried and tested.  She has been sent to us to distract us from the case. She isn’t a new client. She’s a red herring for the old clients enemies.”

        “Oh, good one, Tara,” Star was impressed. Tara could be an abusive drunk, but some of the things she blurted out were pure gold.  Or had a grain of gold in them, it would be more accurate to say. A certain perspicacity shone through at times when she was well lubricated.  “Perhaps we should lock her back in the wardrobe for the time being until we’ve worked out what to do with her.”

        “You’re right, Star, we must restrain her….oy! oy!  Percival, catch that fleeing aunt at once!”  April had made a dash for it out of the pub door.  The burly bouncer missed his chance. April legged it up the road and disappeared round the corner.

        “That’s entirely your fault, Rosamund,” Tara spat, “Distracting the man from his duties, you rancid little strumpet!”

        “Oh I say, that’s going a bit far,” interjected the middle aged lady sitting at the corner table.

        “What’s it got to do with you?” Tara turned on her.

        “This,” the woman replied with a smugly Trumpish smile. She pulled her trouser leg up to reveal a bell bird tattoo.

        “Oh my fucking god,” Tara was close to tears again.

        #6121

        In reply to: Tart Wreck Repackage

        “Now then ladies, what’s all this about?” The burly bouncer appeared, blocking the doorway.

        “Look!” hissed Tara, showing him the tattoo on April’s shoulder.  “This!”

        “Nice tattoo!” he said appreciatively.  “Why, I even have one myself just like it!”

        “On your buttock?” asked Star incredulously.

        “Why you cheeky thing,” replied the bouncer with a smile. “No, as it happens it’s on my ankle.  I left the cult before I reached buttock bell bird status.”

        “Wait, what? What cult?”

        “The same cult as you were in,” he said, turning to April. “Am I right?”

        “I don’t know what you mean,” stammered April, reddening.

        “What the hell is going on!” shouted Tara.  “Are we the only ones NOT in the damn cult?”

        “Looks like it” smirked the waitress, pulling her blouse up to reveal a bell bird tattoo on her belly.

        “That’s it, I’ve had enough of this! I’m going back to the wardrobe!” exclaimed Star.

        The bouncer and the waitress exchanged glances. “Unwoke sheeple losing their minds,” the waitress said knowingly.

        “Oh my fucking god,” Tara said, close to tears.

        #6119

        In reply to: Tart Wreck Repackage

        “I think you’ve forgotten something, Star.”  Tara didn’t want to put a dampener on Star’s high spirits, but felt obliged to point out that New Zealand was still out of bounds with the quarantine restrictions.

        “Not only that,” Tara continued, “Where exactly in New Zealand?”

        This was unanswerable at this stage and was quickly forgotten.

        “We can send Rosamund on a recce to find out more.  That way if she gets arrested for breaking the lockdown rules it won’t matter much and we can carry on solving the case.”

        In response to Star’s look of outrage she added, “Well better than either of us getting locked up innit!”  Star had to agree.

        “It will take two of us to keep an eye on Aunty April, anyway. And it would behoove us to have a thorough look at that wardrobe, and decipher those notes.  And check the lining of the fur coats. I read a book once and spies used morse code in the hem stitches for sending messages.”

        “Do you know morse code?”

        “Of course not, why would I?”

        “Well then how will you know..?”

        The conversation went on in a similar vein for some time.

        #6116

        In reply to: Tart Wreck Repackage

        “What a load of rubbish,” said Star later. “I don’t believe a word of it. Well, except for the part about Vince French not being in a coma, that bit rang true. But the rest of it’s downright nonsense, if you ask me.”

        Tara waved to the waiter and ordered another two gin and tonics.  The Bell Bird Inn was conveniently located mid way between the office and their apartment, and needless to say, they were regulars.

        “There’s definitely something fishy going on with April’s story,” Tara agreed. “The wardrobe, for instance. Those notes with the same handwriting.  I don’t believe she’s filthy rich, either. Nobody who is filthy rich ever says “I’m filthy rich”.”

        “How would you know? How many filthy rich people do you hobnob with, then?”

        “Let’s not get off the point!” Star cried, exasperated. “What are we going to do?”

        “May as well start at the bottom and work our way up. Vince’s bottom. All we need to do is find Vince’s tattoo and we’ll have found Vince.  It’s fiendishly simple!” Tara looked smug.

        “Oh, right,” said Star when she found her voice. “Right. Because it’s just so easy to peruse bottom tattoos on the general public.”

        Tara giggled. “Don’t be silly. This is where we use our special unofficial skills. Remote viewing.”

        “But where do we start?”

        “Set the intention, and trust your intuition. Oh come on,” Star’s lack of enthusiasm was becoming tedious. “It will be fun!”

        #6114

        In reply to: Tart Wreck Repackage

        Aunt April blew her nose loudly into a tissue.

        “Are you ready to talk, April?” asked Star gently.

        April nodded, took a sip from her tea, put it on the saucer and sighed loudly. “I’ll do my best. You see, everyone thinks Vince French is in a coma. But he isn’t. That isn’t Vince.”

        “Wait up, let me take notes,” said Tara. “So, how do you know that isn’t Vince French?”

        “The real Vince has a tattoo of a bell-bird on his right buttock.”

        Rosamund snorted. “Ooh, go Auntie April!”

        “I had my suspicions … so I had to see for myself. On pretext of being a nurse, I managed to inveigle myself into the institution where he is supposedly being kept to look at his derriere. There are other small differences too, but that clinched it for me.”

        Star nodded. “I see, well done! So you and Vincent French were having an …?”

        “A liaison of rather a passionate nature. Yes.”

        “And the wardrobe? The notes?”

        “I had the wardrobe sent up.”

        Tara looked puzzled. “But … what on earth for?”

        “Oh, the wardrobe is a red herring. I really just wanted to get rid of it and rather than send it to charity thought you girls might make use of it.”

        “And the notes? The fictitious Uncle Albie?” asked Star.

        April screwed up her face and giggled nervously. “Well, you are a struggling start-up business and there were no social media reviews to go by … so it was a test really. To see if you were good enough to take on the case.”

        Tara glowered at her. “And?”

        “You passed! Congratulations! As Rosamund may have told you, I am filthy rich and money is no object. We must get to the bottom of this mystery.”

        “Bottom,” said Rosamund and sniggered.

        #6113

        In reply to: Tart Wreck Repackage

        VINCE FRENCH!” shouted April. “WHO IS VINCE FRENCH? I DON’T KNOW ANYONE CALLED VINCE FRENCH! I SAID I SANG WITH VINCE ENTIUS!”

        “Me thinks the lady doth protest too much,” mouthed Tara. Star nodded and, leaning forward, she smiled engagingly at April.

        “So, April …. you’ve never heard of Vince French? The famous singer who is touted to have a voice like an angel?”

        “Oh! THAT Vince French,” blustered April. “Yes, of course I’ve heard of HIM. But he’s not the one I sang with. Never met him personally. Good voice, or so I’ve heard.”

        Rosamund folded her arms and glowered at April. “Auntie April, who is this Uncle Albie of what you speak? Mum said you never got hitched. Said you was too uppity.”

        “Stop it!” shouted April, flinging the broom wildly above her head. “Just stop it, will you! First, you man-handle me into the wardrobe filled with dirty old coats and refuse to let me have pineapple on my pizza and now you are interrogating me as though I am some sort of criminal.” She threw the broom to the floor with such force that the handle snapped off, and then she collapsed in a sobbing heap.

        “I suppose we have been rather unwelcoming,” said Star.

        “There, there, Auntie,” said Rosamund, patting her awkwardly on the shoulder. “If you need to make up a husband, I totally get it. I’m always making up stuff.”

        “I think it is about time you tell us the truth,” said Tara sternly. “Why have you invented a philandering husband and what does Vince French have to do with it and, last but certainly not least, why is that wardrobe filled with stinky coats in our office?”

        “How about I make a nice cup of tea and you can tell us everything,” said Star.

        #6107

        In reply to: Tart Wreck Repackage

        Star paused in the lobby. “I need some more persuading,” she said. “What if she dies in that wardrobe? What will we do with the body? Or, worse, what if she doesn’t die and sues us?”

        Tara decided to ignore Star’s dubious reasoning; after all it was late. “She’s probably going to sue anyway,” said Tara morosely. “Another night won’t make any difference.”

        “I’m going back. I can’t leave Rosamund to face the consequences of our drunken stupidity.” Star headed defiantly towards the stairs; the lift was out of order, again. “We would have to be on the eight bloody floor,” she muttered. “You do what you like,” she flung over her shoulder to Tara.

        Tara sighed. “Wait up,” she shouted.

        Star was relieved that Tara decided to follow. The building was scary at night – the few tenants who did lease office space, were, much like themselves, dodgy start-ups that couldn’t afford anything better. Missing bulbs meant the lighting in the stairwell was dim, and, on some floors, non-existent.

        “I’m amazed they managed to bring that wardrobe up,” puffed Tara. “Just slow down and let me get my breath will you, Star.”

        “My gym membership is really paying off,” said Star proudly. “Come on,Tara! just one floor to go!”

        As they approached the door to their office, they paused to listen. “Can you hear something … ?” whispered Star.

        “Is it … singing?”

        “That’s never Rosamund singing. She’s got a voice like … well let’s just say you wouldn’t wish it on your worst enemy.”

        “I’m going in,” hissed Tara and flung open the door.

        “Don’t come any closer!” cried a woman in a mink coat; she did make a peculiar sight, surrounded by empty pizza boxes and brandishing a broom. “And you, shut up!” she said reaching out to bang the wardrobe with her broom. There were muffled cries from within, and then silence.

        “Was that you singing?” asked Star in her most polite voice.

        “Yes, what’s it to you?”

        “It was rather… lovely.”

        The woman smirked. “I was rehearsing.”

        “We are awfully sorry about locking you in the wardrobe. We thought you were a masked intruder.”

        “Well, I’m not. I am Rosamund’s Aunt April, and you …” she glowered at Star … “should have recognised me, seeing as how I am your cousin.”

        “Oh!” Star put her hand to her head. “Silly me! Of course, Cousin April! But I have not seen you for so many years. Not since I was a child and you were off to Europe to study music!”

        Tara groaned. “Really, Star, you are hopeless.”

        Loud banging emanated from the wardrobe followed by mostly unintelligible shouting but it went something like: “Bloody-let-me-out-or-I-will-friggin-kill-you-stupid-bloody-tarts!”

        “It wasn’t really Rosamund’s fault,” said Star. “I don’t suppose we could …?”

        April nodded. “Go on then, little fool’s learnt her lesson. The cheek of her not letting me have pineapple on my pizza.”

        “About bloody time,” sniffed Rosamund when the door was opened. She made a sorry sight, mascara streaked under her eyes and her red fingernails broken from where she had tried to force the door.

        “Now, then,” said Tara decisively, “now we’ve said our sorries and whatnot, what’s all this really about, April?”

        April crinkled her brow.”Well, as I may of mentioned on the phone, my husband, Albert — that’s your Uncle Albie,” she said to Rosamund, “is cheating on me. He denies it vehemently of course, but I found this note in his pocket.” She reached into her Louis Vuitton hand-bag and pulled out a sheet of paper. “That’s his handwriting and the paper is from the Royal Albert Hotel. He was there on a business trip last month.” Her face crumpled.

        “Chin up,” said Tara quickly, handing April a tissue from the desk. “What does the note say?”. Really, this case did seem a bit beneath them, a straightforward occurrence of adultery from the sounds.

        April sniffed. “It says, meet you at the usual place. Bring the money and the suitcase and I will make it worth your while.”

        “Let me see that,” said Rosamund, snatching the note from April. She reached into the front of her tee-shirt and pulled out another crumpled note which had been stuffed into her bra. She smirked. “I found this in the wardrobe. I was keeping it secret to pay you back but … ” She brandished both notes triumphantly. “The handwriting is the same!”

        “What does your note say, Rosamund?” asked Star.

        “It says, If you find this note, please help me. All is not what it seems..”

        “Wow, cool!” said Tara, her face lit up. This was more like it!

        Star, noticing April’s wretched face, frowned warningly at Tara. “So,” she mused, “I suggest we explore this wardrobe further and see what we can find out.”

        #6106

        In reply to: Tart Wreck Repackage

        Rosamund gaped at her aunt.  “Really, Auntie April? Wow!” She leaped up, not noticing her aunt smirk, and climbed into the wardrobe.

        Seizing the moment, April tossed her pizza aside and sprang over to to the wardrobe door, slammed it shut and turned the key.  Leaning her back on the locked door, she smiled triumphantly.

        The office door opened slowly, due to the melted cheese stuck on the carpet that had slid down the door when the pizza hit it.  Fortunately for April the door got stuck on an olive, providing a valuable few seconds in which to grab the broom and flee to the rest room before Star and Tara entered the room.

        “Don’t let me out until April!” a muffled voice joined the banging sounds coming from the wardrobe.

        “The client is still in the wardrobe!” Tara said, exasperated. “And where the hell is Rosamund? She was supposed to let that woman out! Useless, that’s what she is.”

        “Just ignore her until Rosamund comes back. Sounds like she’s gone a bit mental already anyway. Why does she want to stay in there until April? It’s months away.”

        “I’m going home, it’s been a long day. Come on, let’s leave a note for Rosamund to deal with it. She took long enough off work, now it’s our turn.”  Star didn’t need any more persuading.

        #6105

        In reply to: Tart Wreck Repackage

        “It’s surprisingly roomy that wardrobe, isn’t it?” said Aunt April, somewhat placated by pizza.

        Rosamund nearly choked on an olive. Poor old auntie has lost it! “Roomy…what are you on about, Auntie eh?” she asked gently. After all got to be kind to the old dear—she is filthy rich.

        They both looked at the wardrobe.

        “Hmmm …I admit it doesn’t look that big from the outside but there’s that door at the back …”

        “Right, a door is there, Aunt April … how about a nice cuppa?”

        “Now, Rosamund, don’t you talk down to me, Young Lady. Once you get past all those coats … “ she paused to stroke the fur lovingly … “there is a door and behind the door is a room with a nice comfy sofa. I slept there last night.“

        #6104

        In reply to: Tart Wreck Repackage

        Rosamund pressed her ear to the wardrobe door and listened.  Nothing.  She tapped gently. No response.  “Is there anyone in there?” she whispered.  She rapped on the door, harder this time. “Are you hungry?” she said loudly.  “Got a pizza ordered, you want one?”

        “Yes please,” came the muffled reply. “Ham and pineapple.”

        Rosamund reeled backwards.

        “Pineapple!”  Romamund was aghast. “Not on pizza!”

        “OK cheese and tomato then, just let me out! I’m desperate for a pee!” the voice was wheedling, and oddly familiar.

        “Promise no pineapple?”

        “For god’s sake woman, let me out! I promise!”

        Rosamund turned the key and quickly stepped back a few paces, grabbing the broom as a weapon. People trapped in wardrobes could be aggressive, she knew that much.

        The wardrobe rocked dangerously as a bulky shape emerged, swathed in mink.

        “Aunty April!” Rosamund gasped. “What are you doing in there!”

        April shook the moth eaten fur off her shoulders and smoothed the tangled hair back from her brow.  “I might ask you the same question, young lady!  Wait til your mother hears about this!  But first, point me in the direction of the rest rooms!”

        “Over there, ” Rosamund said weakly.  “I’ll order your pizza.”

        #6103

        In reply to: Tart Wreck Repackage

        “Do what?” asked Rosamund, returning from lunch.

        Rosamund! About time. You’ve been gone days. Thought you must have quit.” Tara tried to keep the disappointment from her voice.

        Tara and I are going to expose the cult! And it would be a whole lot easier if you would stick around to answer the phone in our absence.” Star looked accusingly at Rosamund.

        Rosamund scrunched her brow. “Am I in bloody groundwort day or something? Didn’t you close that case?” She grinned apologetically.  “Just before I went to lunch?”

        Tara rubbed her head. “Damn it, she’s right! How could we have forgotten!”

        “Oh!” Star gasped. “The person who turned up in the mask! Yesterday evening. That must have been our second case! The one with the cheating husband!”

        They both looked towards the wardrobe — the large oak one, next to the drinks cupboard. The wardrobe which had rather mysteriously turned up a few days ago, stuffed full of old fur coats and rather intriguing boxes—the delivery person insisted he had the right address. “And after all, who are we to argue? We’ll just wait for someone to claim it, shall we?” Star had said, thinking it might be rather fun to explore further.

        Tara grimaced. “Of course. It wasn’t an armed intruder; it was our client practising good virus protocol.”

        “And that banging noise isn’t the pipes,” said Star with a nervous laugh. “I’d better call off the caretaker.”

        “We really must give up comfort drinking!” said Tara, paling as she remembered the intruder’s screaming as they’d bundled her into the wardrobe.

        Rosamund shook her head. “Jeepers! What have you two tarts gone and done.”

        Star and Tara looked at each other. “Rosamund …” Star’s voice was strangely high. “How about you let her out. Tara and I will go and have our lunch now. Seeing as you’ve had such a long break already.”

        “Me! What will I say?”

        Tara scratched her head. “Um …offer her a nice cup of tea and tell her she’ll laugh about this one day.”

        “If she’s still bloody alive,” muttered Rosamund.

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