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October 6, 2016 at 7:35 pm #4178
In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
“I recalled a dream last night. One thing led to another, maybe I’ll tell you about that later, but it is connected, so remind me later. Then I was reminded of a story. Then I had a message from someone about a dream about a writer with a maid called Agnes, and she had recalled another story about Brooklyn. And of course, that got me thinking about stories. And story characters! And us!”
At this point in Liz’s monologue she paused and looked meaningfully at Godfrey, Finnley and Roberto. She repressed an urge to slap Roberto, who was gazing out of the window (thinking about mountain tajines no doubt), to get his attention for the meaningful look that she wanted to give him, and cleared her throat loudly instead.
Not a moment later she had to control the urge to slap Finnley, who was just about to make another remark about the length of her sentences.
“I didn’t say a word!” Finnley exclaimed with righteous indignation. “I only thought about it!”
“And I didn’t slap you, did I. I only thought about it too!” retorted Liz.
“Ah, but you’re the one who wrote it down. You’ve gone and done it once you write it down.”
“Don’t be daft,” replied Liz. But she wondered, what if?
October 6, 2016 at 7:10 pm #4177In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
“I’m not falling for that, Finnley. And I was being sarcastic, not humble. As if!” Liz snorted. “You silly goose. Now then, where is Godfrey and that scrumtious gardener, what’s his name? I’m reminded of a story.”
“Roberto? Didn’t you send him to another thread? Or turn him into a dastardly escaped criminal, or psychic double agent or something?” asked Finnley, who had come to her senses and removed the strange grimace masquerading as a smile from her otherwise rather sweet and curious face.
“That’s much too long, Liz,” she added. “A “strange grimace masquerading as a smile from her otherwise rather sweet and curious face”? Bit wordy, isn’t it?”
“Finnley, please!” Liz was aghast. “You know you’re not supposed to do that!”
October 4, 2016 at 2:30 am #4176In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
“As a matter of fact, I was dancing,” said Finnley with exaggerated politeness. “It is something I do to get back in the flow of the Universe … and counteract negativity.” She looked pointedly at Liz.
“Anyway,” she continued, “allow me read to read a little from the great Prof E P Lemon’s latest offering:
“It’s also like in taiji, you sometimes get into that flow state but for that you need to go past the learning phase, can’t really go around that.”
Finnley looked sympathetically at Liz.
“Perhaps you are still at the taiji learning phase, Liz.”
“How would I learn taiji?” asked Liz humbly. “I can see you are a master, dearest and wise Finnley.”
Finnley looked thoughtful. “Apparently the Prof used to go regularly up a mountain. The air is more taiji up there … maybe you could do that? Don’t worry I will take care of things here,” she said quickly, envisaging the peace and tranquility of a few days without Liz continually haranguing her.
“Take as long as you need to get some taiji,” she added with what she hoped was a kind smile.
October 2, 2016 at 11:29 am #4174In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
“You do exaggerate so, Finnley,” remarked Liz. “It was much longer than five minutes, and you chose to go when all the rest of the staff were on holidays too. Damned inconsiderate of you all, really! You’re lucky you still have a position here to come back to, my girl.”
Liz shuffled some papers on her desk in a businesslike manner and then blew the ensuing dust off her keyboard with a flourish.
“And don’t make those vile gestures behind my back.”
October 1, 2016 at 3:59 am #4173In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
“what on earth are you on about?” asked Finnley. “I go away for 5 minutes …. 5 minutes,” she repeated with emphasis and several eye rolls, “and everything goes to pot. I have barely got over the horror of having to go on holiday and now I have this load of rubbish to contend with. I am, quite frankly, flabbergasted and dismayed.”
September 20, 2016 at 1:56 am #4170In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
“What about a plate of shrimps Liz’?”
“Oh no, not again !” Felicity shrieked at Finnley. “Can’t you get something else on the menu?”
“Oh, you’re still here?” Liz’ looked apathetically at her mother. “Thought you would be gone by now… Finnley” she motioned at the distant plate “hand over the turmeric. I’m in the mood for an Indian dressing.”
July 27, 2016 at 5:16 am #4146In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
July 27, 2016 at 4:30 am #4145In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
July 26, 2016 at 2:30 am #4144In reply to: Scrying the Word Cloud
finnley blue try food
towards case indeed nose
heard watching program worry ago
help helped immediately
nor knew next identity othersJuly 21, 2016 at 7:47 am #4140In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
“What are you doing!” Liz’ cried in anguish. “Not my plants!”
A bonfire was in full blaze, and Felicity relished in the view. “Don’t listen to her Leo, get rid of those nasty things — no bloody wonder she can’t see reality for fiction.”
Liz’ was appalled at the sight of the stash going in flames. “That’s it, I’m going to call the police!”
Godfrey had to rein her and her fury in, while her towel unravelled making her look madder by the minute. “Liz’, calm down, please. Don’t make it worse, I’ll help you get rid of her, if only for your peace of mind.”
“You snake!” She hissed, “I’m sure your in cahoots with her, she’s been planning her revenge ever since I gave all her suitcases of clothes to charity.”
“Liz’, please, listen to yourself, you’re not making any sense. Let me get you a coconut avocado smoothie to soothe your nerves. Finnley!”July 14, 2016 at 10:47 am #4114In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
Liz adjusted her reclining chair and lit another cigarette. Idly, she contemplated getting up to make another cup of tea, but was not thus far compelled to take the necessary action. There were advantages and disadvantages to locking the others in the cellar to work on her anthology. She had to make her own tea, it was true, but the unaccustomed peace was worth it ~ so far, anyway. Glancing out of the window, she noticed the lawns were in need of mowing and the herbaceous borders needed dead heading, but it was still green and pretty, if a trifle unkempt, and the birds still sang in the branches of the plum tree. “Blubbit, blubbit, blubbit,” they seemed to be calling, with the occasional “peakle!” shreik.
“Can’t get the staff to stick around and mow the grass these days,” the thought popped into her head, which reminded her of something else, something a wise man had once said about certain types of gardeners. “Great at planting the seeds, not so reliable about finishing the weeding, though.”
A loud rumble like approaching thunder roused Liz from her thoughtful reverie. She was hungry. “I wonder if Finnley had the decency to leave some Peasland soup in the freezer?”
July 11, 2016 at 8:15 am #4110In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
“Liz’! We’re all waiting for you now, it’s been nearly a week you’ve been soaking in that bath of yours, I’m dreading how wrinkled you may look now, and the amount of virgin coconut oil you will need to moisturize everything, but I digress. Liz’ get out now!”
Godfrey was supervising an unusual and unexpected commission.
The Anthology of Her Works.
It was a working title, but the idea was simple enough, and yet completely nuts and daunting. Put together the massive material that Liz (and her ghostwriters) had amassed all those years.
That someone would want to sponsor the adventure seemed completely crazy, so they would have to hurry before the anonymous donor came back to his or her senses and realize the whole futility of the adventure.“LIZ’!” There was urgency in his voice.
“COMING, FOR BLUBBER’S SAKE! STOP THAT RACKET AT ONCE GODFREY OR I’LL HAVE YOU FIRED.”
Liz’ finally emerged out of the room, in full regalia, with her silk dragon-patterned black bath-gown, definitely a bit wrinkled at the scalp, but overall looking completely re-energized and ready to embraze the magnitude of the work to be done (meaning: ready to boss everybody around to get it done).
“So what’s that all about Godfrey? Have we run out of peanuts?”
“Good Lord no, perish the thought.”
“So why are you here at the table with Finnley and the handsome gardener, what’s his name already?”
“ Roberto “ ventured Finnley, modestly rolling her eyes at such pathetic attempt at continuity.
“Yes, that’s right,… Alberto. Thank you Finnley, you’re a dear. So what is it, that has you all here plotting around? I’m not paying you to roll blubbit’s droppings in batter…”
“Liz’, it’s serious. We have to start…” Godfrey was about to explain the whole thing to Liz’, but suddenly realized she had just given her approval.
“So that settles it: the Peasland’s story!” He, Finnley and Roberto acquiesced and nodded at each other conspiratorially.
July 6, 2016 at 6:50 am #4101In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
“Godfrey, isn’t the new platform ready yet? I don’t know why you’re butting your nose in here, when you have work to do! Finnley, perhaps while I soak in the bath you’d be kind enough to explain to me what is going on.”
“I think I’ll give that a miss, thanks, and let you bathe on your own,” replied the cleaner, aghast at the idea.
July 6, 2016 at 5:23 am #4099In reply to: Cakletown and the Lone Chancers of Custard
Funley sniffed loudly as she unhurriedly emptied the trash can in Ed Steam’s office, pausing to read any interesting correspondence which may have wound up there. Looking over towards Ed and finding that his attention was still fixed on the computer monitor, she followed her sniff up with a small snort and then a throat clearing noise. When her sniffs and snorts didn’t capture Ed’s attention, she proceeded to blow her nose explosively.
This did the trick. Ed jumped and looked at Funley in alarm.
“Whatever is the matter, Funley? Are you ill?”
“Sorry, didn’t mean to disturb you,” apologised Finnley, pulling up a chair in front of Ed’s desk and seating herself comfortably on it.
“Actually, if you are not too busy, there is a small problem I’ve been wanting to speak with you about. I promised I would untangle the threads for you however the entanglement situation is worse than I could have imagined in my wildest dreams. Or nightmares for that matter. I don’t know who has been doing the record keeping — although I would hazard a guess at Evangeline — but the cross referencing, where it exists, is appalling and … “
A tap on the door and the new employee, Duncan Minestrone, popped his head into the office. “You wanted to see me, Mr Steam?” he asked.
Funley glanced towards the door in exasperation at the interruption and then her expression changed to one of horror.
“Jasper Grok!” she gasped. “What are you doing here?”
July 6, 2016 at 1:47 am #4097In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
July 4, 2016 at 5:49 am #4079In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
“Just sniff it in!” said Finnley as she rolled her eyes expertly.
July 4, 2016 at 12:41 am #4074In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
July 1, 2016 at 5:24 am #4067In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
“Turmeric,” said Finnley succinctly, with a meaningful nod in the direction of the kitchen. “Your creaking is doing my head in.”
July 1, 2016 at 2:41 am #4066In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
Godfrey kind of liked the silence of late.
Finnley under the guise of regular taichi practice, had been actually quite busy ushering the randomly scurrying forgotten characters out of the house into the wild, with a broomstick and a mild dose of threat.
The Splendor Manor had fell pleasantly silent. Too silent for Liz probably, who had started to notice and launch back into gears her creaking storytelling joints.
June 30, 2016 at 4:58 am #4065In reply to: The Precious Life and Rambles of Liz Tattler
It was with undisguised delight that Liz realized that Finnley wasn’t right after all. A glimmer of hope had whistled in with the wind, stirring the dust laden cobwebs festooned across the threads. The clouds parted, sending shafts of sunlight to spear the dark recesses, illuminating the aimless floating of dust motes and dislodged detritus.
Godfrey stirred, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and called for Finnley.
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