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  • #4142
    TracyTracy
    Participant

      I’ve a good mind to write you lot right out of the story, Liz remarked to nobody in particular.

      #4089
      TracyTracy
      Participant

        “They do say” remarked Liz in between sneezes, “That blinking out is very good ~ Achoo ~ very good for you.”

        #4045
        TracyTracy
        Participant

          “She aint been right since she covered that emotion show thing, has she?” remarked Flanigan, pushing the broom along with his arthritic bony fingers, and jerking his head in Connie’s direction.

          “Bloody ridiculous if you ask me, asking for trouble,” replied the young trainee janitor, Godwin. “I could have told her, it’ll come to no good tampering with mother natures emotions,” he added, wiping a tear from his eye.

          “Steady on, what are you crying for? Pull yourself together, boy, and go and clean them toilets.”

          Godwin gave Flanigan a withering look, and stomped off towards the lavatories, sniffing loudly.

          #4032
          TracyTracy
          Participant

            “I don’t know, I just feel that connecting with each other is part of the fun,” mumbled Ricardo Prout.

            “We have to start somewhere!” retorted Connie in exasperation. “Do some research! Find some connecting links!”

            “One should never underestimate the behind the scenes idea prompts,” remarked Hilda, somewhat cryptically. “Relax, Ric. And for heavens sake buck up a bit! Why don’t you take the rest of the day off, you’re distracting me from my work, as instructed by miss bossy behind the scenes pants.”

            “But I don’t get what the others are writing, if I want to join, the safest is do my own stuff,” said Ricardo sadly. “And I thought this job was a fun team job.”

            Connie and Hilda rolled their eyes in unison. “He’s a newbie, he’ll get the hang of it,” whispered Hilda.

            #4021
            TracyTracy
            Participant

              Somebody was eavesdropping on the lacklustre conversation between Anybody and Nobody, although, as surely Everybody would agree, it was hardly gripping.

              Better an oft repeated literary predicament than no literature at all, remarked Somebody, to Nobody in particular.

              Don’t look at me, retorted Nobody with a sniff. I am not just Anybody, you know.

              #4003

              “You rang, madam?” asked the butler, adjusting his oversized blue turban.

              “Ah, Lazuli! How are you settling in?” asked Liz.

              “I’ve only just been written into this thread, madam, moments ago. Do I have to call you madam?”

              “Only when you want to be rude, according to Finnley,” Liz said, glancing fondly at the unconscious cleaner.

              “This thread appears to be going nowhere, madam,” Lazuli remarked thoughtfully.

              “I can write Fanella into it if you like,” Liz quickly tried to entice him to stay.

              Lazuli Galore’s eyes lit up. “Did somebody mention something about sexing the story up a bit?” he asked hopefully. “We’d be the perfect characters for that.”

              “Well, if its ok with Finnley, it’s ok with me. If you can wake her, we can ask her now.”

              #3858

              “Glod help us all when Jacques Schitt and Frank Diddley Squat turn up”, Glodfrey remarked with a heartfelt sligh.

              After perusing the latest plot proposal he felt a strong need to know just how many characters were potentially on the move. His head swam with the ramifications, and he had a sinking feeling that there were far more characters than he could begin to imagine.
              So he started reading, inwardly screaming “don’t make me count!”. At first he’d only considered the earth bound more or less human characters.

              “Glod help us all,” he repeated, his eyed glazed with apprehension. “Who will we ever get to ploof lead all this now?

              “You deplessing old flart, Glodfrey, for leavens slake, it will be sluch flun!” Lilith said, giving him a playful plunch on the ell bough. “The arrival of The Time Travelling Absinthe Pirates might coincide with the government alien disclosure programme, what a hoot!”

              #3673
              TracyTracy
              Participant

                “Who else is coming? Don’t remind me, I can’t bear it,” Elizabeth said fretfully while Norbert opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish.

                “I have an idea!” she announced suddenly, standing up and crushing a mince pie that had rolled under her desk. “Gather round, come on, come on!”

                Arona Haki shuffled in with the dustpan and mop, as Finnley blew her nose loudly and wiped the tears from her eyes. Norbert stood silently, waiting.

                “It wouldn’t matter WHO came,” Liz paused for effect, “If none of us were here!”

                “But we are here, aren’t we,” remarked Finnley. Norbert and Haki murmured in agreement.

                “We are now!” replied Liz, “But we could be gone in an hour! We could go and visit my cousin ~ third cousin twice removed, actually ~ in Australia. They have an old inn and it’s sure to be half empty, it’s in the middle of nowhere, and,” she added triumphantly, “It will be lovely and warm there!”

                “Blisteringly hot, more like,” muttered Finnley, “And would they like unexpected visitors for Chri, er Kri, er, that date on the calendar?”

                “I’m sure they’d be delighted, “ replied Liz, crisply. “Not everyone is as curmudgeonly about Chri, er, Kri, er that date on the calendar as we are. And anyway,” she added, “If I write it into the story that they are delighted, then they will have no option but to be pleased to see us.”

                “If you bloody lot are coming to the Flying Fish Inn, I’m buggering off to Mars for the holidays” said Bert.

                Elizabeth spun round, saying sharply, “Bert! Get back to your own thread this instant! The bloody cheek of it, thread hopping like that, really!”

                #3647
                TracyTracy
                Participant

                  “I think it should be have you, not has you, Miss Liz” remarked Haki, helpfully.

                  Elizabeth bit her tongue, literally, in her attempt to swallow her reply.

                  “I blame you for that” she said, unfairly.

                  #3594
                  ÉricÉric
                  Keymaster

                    Liz’, I’m sorry to interrupt,” remarked Godfrey, somewhat cautiously, “I know you’d rather forget about it, but shall I remind you that we are going to be irrevocably late for our appointment at the court, for the third time.”
                    “What nonsense is that again? And where did you appear from Godammfrey? I haven’t summoned you!”

                    Godfrey couldn’t help but raise his eyes and start a rolling motion, but insisted.
                    “The lawsuit, darling. This scandalous libel by that rat of a critic who accused you quite unambiguously of both plagiarism and ghostwriting. You surely do remember that?”

                    “I’m sorry Godfrey, can’t this be dealt with without my being there. I’m not paying you peanuts to just entertain me.”

                    Godfrey sighed. It was already the second time they missed the appointment, and the judge would certainly no see it in a good light. A little bit of publicity around this affair wasn’t bad of course, especially with such hilarious allegations. Everyone in town knew well enough Elizabeth’s take on both plagiarism (“it’s just slight teafing”) and ghostwriting (“channeling by another name, darling”), so it was very good publicity indeed.
                    But having sued the critic now, it would be a pity to lose to him. If only for the money. When did she become so careless about it? Having personnel did go a little to her head…

                    “If you’d pardon me” Elizabeth said after a eloquent burp, “all that tea have quite distended my bladder, and I would actually quite enjoy discovering the loo of the courthouse. When shall we go?”

                    #3585
                    TracyTracy
                    Participant

                      “I do think, Elizabeth,” remarked Finnley, somewhat cautiously, “That you rather over~egged the brûlée.”

                      #3526
                      TracyTracy
                      Participant

                        Another bang on my bedroom door, my hands suspended over the keyboard. “Go away Prune!” I shouted, exasperated. “If you bang on my door again, I’ll come out and give you such a wallop, now bugger off, will you!”

                        “It’s me, Corrie” came Clove’s voice. Walked over to the door and unlocked it. A chat with my sister might help me with this project. Unlike Prune, who would be guaranteed to disrupt my train of thought.

                        Locking the door again I tell Clove what I’m writing about. We don’t go to school, me and Clove, we’re what they call “homeschooled” but what that actually means in our case is that we’re left to our own devices most of the time. Aunt Idle asks us (when she remembers) what we’ve been working on, and as long as we’ve been writing something or researching something, she’s happy.

                        So when I saw the group project about alternative timelines to avoid the disaster timeline, I had some ideas. Well, to be honest, I didn’t have any definite ideas until I saw the other suggestions. All Americans, and all of them talking about changing the timelines by changing the results of presidential elections!

                        “Not much chance of a different timeline there then!” remarked Clove astutely.

                        “Exactly!” I knew Clove would get it, she knows were I’m coming from, but then, everyone knows twins are like that.

                        “So this is what the plan is, right: “The goal of this exercise is to discuss amongst the group and choose significant past moments, and then As a Group, focus on creating alternate histories, thus sparking alternate timelines. We should vividly imagine moving forward from those probability forks and creating a more viable and desirable future.” Oh, and this bit here: “ our current timeline is convoluted to the point where many probabilities are leaning towards a disaster scenario simply to shake out of the current focus.” And then all these suggestions about different presidents, and then this: “My suggestion would be also to consider how we would like our current time frame to appear,” so I’m thinking…”

                        “I’m thinking” interrupted Clove, continuing my train of thought, “Of all those states and communities that got with the programme ten years ago, and took their kids out of school and built those Earthships so they didn’t need money for water and electricity..”

                        “And started cooperative worker owned businesses like they do in South America….”

                        “And they all started a guaranteed basic income years ago, so everyone was doing what they did best, especially the kids, cos they had such great ideas and weren’t stuck in boring schoolrooms…..”

                        “and there was no poverty, and nobody without a home…”

                        “Yeah, and they all stopped paying taxes so there was no money for the military, and then loads more people stopped paying taxes too…”

                        “Good one, Clove!”

                        “So nobody gave a fuck what president was elected anyway, because they were all sorting themselves out, and those states and communities were doing so well…”

                        “Because they’d already been doing it for years” I added.

                        “…that other states and communities started doing it too.”

                        “So that it snowballed, like dominoes, and there were more and more of these places..”

                        “And they had exchange students and stuff like that to learn from each other, and shared stuff online..”

                        “So when the disasters struck, it wasn’t half so bad because there were already a bunch of people managing perfectly well without dollars or oil, and they could help the people in the disaster. Makes more sense that electing another blimmin president, huh?”

                        “Bloody obvious if you ask me” replied Clove. “Pity we don’t have basic income, did you see Mater’s face when she was talking to that debt collector?”

                        That made me laugh, remembering her waving the stick around. “Her face was as purple as her cardigan.”

                        In unison, we both starting singing Start Wearing Purple and dancing around, acting the fool. I had a purple wig hanging on the back of my chair, so I put that on, and Clove grabbed a purple feather boa off the coat stand. No shortage of wigs in this town, though god only knows why. Just about every damn trunk in every empty house is full of wigs.

                        #3506
                        TracyTracy
                        Participant

                          “I see you are doing well with the exploration of playful spontaneity, Liz,” remarked Godfrey with a dry grin.
                          “Don’t you start, Godfrey. Everything has to be planned down to the last detail first.”
                          “Controlled spontaneity is it?”
                          “More of a solid base, a platform if you like, a launch pad for a cooperation of revelation and inspiration, a raft for the craft to avoid a sea of confusion. That sort of thing.”
                          “So, how’s it going?”
                          “Oh, it’s going very well indeed! I think we’re on chapter 57 of the plans already.”

                          #3496

                          It was the first of September and everyone in the village breathed a sigh of relief. Miraculously, it already seemed cooler, although it probably wasn’t, but the promise was in the air. Jack and Lisa stood on the roof terrace watching the migrating vultures glide past on their way to a new story for the winter, exerting little effort as they sailed on the thermals.
                          “They never flap, do they?” remarked Lisa. “No frantic flapping or struggling to beat back the air, they just float, and steer.”
                          “I wonder why they always circle our village before continuing south?”
                          “They’re saying cheerio to us, Jack, although I’m sure you’d prefer a more logical explanation. It’s a reflection that we stopped flapping around with all that teleporting lark, and that we’re all back home now.” Lisa sighed with relief and hugged Jack. “I’m glad you banned teleporting for a year.”
                          “I didn’t ban it!” Jack said, not wanting to me misunderstood. “You make me sound so dictatorial and bossy. I merely suggested it. Strongly suggested it,” he added. “We all need a bit of no nonsense plain old grounding and balance. It was getting ridiculous, all the drama and comings and goings.”
                          Mirabelle says she wants to write a book about it” remarked Lisa. “Which is marvelous really, considering the trouble she had at first with the language. And Fanella’s studying archeology and plans to travel ~ she’s fascinated with sphinxes, not surprisingly, after leaving an energy fleck in that one on the island; not sure how much she remembers about that now though. Adeline has an exhibition coming up in Paris ~ she’s looking forward to that.”
                          “I think they’re all planning on going to that, even the Russian lads. A trip down memory lane I suppose, but I expect they’ll notice some changes. But that’s another story.”

                          #3403

                          The sweltering hours of the afternoon limped along, and despite the lack of comfortable furniture in the Processing Department, Lisa and her two companions dozed off. Lisa dreamed of a folly in the City, and met a woman called Pseu who she was explaining her predicament to. When Lisa became lucid, she called Fanella and Ivan into the dream, while they discussed the situation.

                          Pseu expressed a strong interest in meeting them inside the walled Gazalbion when they awoke. She had coveted some coordination point tiles from the ruins of an old temple long buried, and then rediscovered, in one of the tunnels.

                          Visibly relieved, Ivan remarked “If you know where the tunnels are, then we can escape!”

                          “Oh, we won’t escape through that tunnel, that tunnel leads down into the cities below. I have a better idea, leave that to me. I’m thinking of parachuting elephants landing on the wall itself, that was rather clever of old Lazuli Galore. Very creative, we’ll explore that idea further when the time comes.
                          But first we must find the tunnel and the tiles. When you awaken in the Processing Department, look out for me, I will be shapeshifting according to the circumstances. Only you will notice me, but do pay close attention to the messages I am conveying, and follow me to the tunnel.”

                          #3382

                          The three travelers were not the kind of people to limit themselves to safety and comfort ~ indeed if they had been, Lisa would have stayed in the village, never having met Fanella who would have stayed in Versailles, who never would have met Ivan who would have stayed in Russia. They all had an underlying courage and sense of adventure to be on the island at all. They were not, however, inherently stupid. As they approached the great walls of Gazalbion, they became uneasy. It looked more like a vast open air prison than a welcoming city.
                          “I’m not sure about this” Lisa whispered to the others, “Once we’re inside there, how will we get out? It might be a trap.”
                          “But you’re always saying we create our own reality Lisa, how can anyone else trap us?”
                          asked Fanella.
                          “We create being trapped as a reflection of restricting ourselves, that’s how it works. It’s not always black and white. And it’s not always easy to resolve that in a demanding and unsettling situation. It would behoove us to proceed with caution.”
                          “That doesn’t sound right Lisa, that doesn’t sound like trust, and you’re always telling us that trust is the key.”
                          “And space” added Ivan, “Space is a key, too.”
                          “Yeah but what does that mean exactly anyway?”
                          “Fucked if I know” replied Ivan.

                          Lazuli Galore noticed the hesitation of the travelers, and decided to change tactics. They were only a few hundred meters from the entrance to Gazalbion, and it was starting to look as if the new arrivals would not enter willingly. He dispensed with the elephant form, exploding it into a pack of grey wolves which circled behind the travelers, and chased them into the city.

                          “Olution! Olution!” the crowd chanted, for there was always a crowd gathered at the gate to witness new arrivals. “Olution! Olution!”
                          Nobody actually knew what the word Olution meant, but they had seen it on tv so many times that they simply repeated it, and the more people that repeated it, the more the frenzy grew.
                          “Olution! Olution!” the crowd screamed and Lisa, Fanella and Ivan were surrounded by the people, thousands of them, all covered in colourless grey cement dust, even their hair and faces were a ghastly dusty grey.
                          “Now we’re in trouble,” Lisa remarked grimly.

                          #3376

                          Much to everyone’s surprise, Boris called an extraordinary meeting for all the villagers. When Adeline had approached him with a proposition that was troubling her, in his infinite wisdom and practicality, he decided that absolute clarity and open discussion was the only solution. The topic of discussion was the trip to the island with Sanso ~ who wanted to go, and who was willing to stay behind to attend to the animals and the gardens and so on. After several hours of talking and the inevitable sidetracking and joking, interruptions to replenish drinks, fetch snacks or cigarettes, or visit the bathroom, it became apparent that everyone wanted to go, some more enthusiastically than others.

                          “I have had a spontaneous inspiration to go,” said Lisa, “And I am a big believer is spontaneity. But I am also a big believer in responsibility, and can’t be spontaneous and responsible at the same time ~ unless I can offload the responsibility onto another responsible individual for the duration of my spontaneous holiday.”
                          “So what you’re saying then is that if I don’t stay home to feed the dogs, then I am denying you your right to be spontaneous?” asked Jack.
                          Lisa frowned. “If you had just offered to do it, Jack, I could have credited myself with simply trusting it to fall into place. Now you are making me complicate it!”

                          “I have an idea” suggested Etienne, “That might work for everyone. Let us consider that we need allow no time for travel, as teleport travel is instantaneous, and we need not concern ourselves with money, as timetravel is without financial cost. We can all go, as long as we do it in relays. Unlike traditional holidays, where people save up their money, make arrangements regarding leaving their responsibilities, take time to reach a destination, stay at that destination for a certain time period, and then return, we do not need to concern ourselves with any of that. I suggest we split up into two smaller groups and alternate being present on the island, with our presence here in the village.”
                          “Now who’s complicating it!” remarked Lisa.
                          “I think it’s a good idea” Adeline piped up, to a general murmur of agreement.

                          “If I may say a word” Sanso stood up and looked at each of their faces in turn. “I must be making a move tonight. And all I need to know is who will be coming with me. Fanella and Lisa?” They nodded in agreement. “And which of you intrepid fellows will join us? Ivan?” Unused to being noticed, Ivan nodded and blushed. “Good! Then Mirabelle, Igor, Boris and Adeline can be team two. Jack, Etienne and Pierre, you can be on emergency stand by to assist where needed in either location.”
                          “Does everyone know how to teleport?” asked Mirabelle. “ I mean properly teleport, to the right place at the right time?”
                          Sanso laughed. “Well, we are about to find out.”

                          #3267

                          “You have a tentacle hanging down your chin Mirabelle” remarked Lisa, reaching for her camera.
                          Mirbelle obligingly waited while Lisa took a photo, though she was not at all sure why she wanted a picture of it.
                          “I don’t know anything about holidays. Are holidays about eating tentacles on the beach, then?” she asked.
                          “Well, they can be about that yes, but not entirely. There are lots of things to do on holidays” replied Lisa.
                          “Like what? Why do people have holidays?”
                          “A short break from working every day usually, although people who don’t work take holidays too. For a change of scenery, and a rest. Although holidays aren’t always about rest ~ some people get very little rest and walk all day, or cycle or something. People in colder climates often want a holiday in the sun, and people who live inland often want a holiday by the sea. In fact” Lisa continued, “Some people spend all year dreaming about a holiday by the sea, in the sun.”
                          “If they love the sea and the sun so much, why don’t they just move to the coast then?”
                          “Well some of us do! Then we go to a city for our holiday, because it’s different I suppose.”
                          “So a holiday is a for a change, then? Because people like a change?”
                          “Only if it’s a holiday, I mean, people usually resist change ~ unless it’s a holiday.”
                          “But if you changed something at home and didn’t go anywhere else, would that be a holiday?”
                          “Only if you had time off work, otherwise it wouldn’t be a holiday.”
                          “But if you changed something at work, wouldn’t that be a holiday?”
                          “Well no not really, that kind of change usually pisses people off.”

                          #3029
                          TracyTracy
                          Participant

                            I heard you both the first time, remarked Sanso, sans quotation marks

                            #3027
                            TracyTracy
                            Participant

                              I heard you both the first time, remarked Sanso, sans quotation marks

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