📚 › Beauty Treatments Inc.

The adventures of Sha, Glo and Mavis, three late-middle aged friends not too fussy about methods to perfect their good looks.

feat. in Beauty Traps On The Island (in: Circle of Eights)

On Tikfijikoo, a mysterious island where a mad Doctor has found refuge to experiment beauty treatments with some unwitting patients. A little girl and a WWII veteran are guiding the escape from the clutches of the Doctor and dimension-crossing sentient spiders bent on world domination.

So the Story goes...

Viewing 25 replies - 26 through 50 (of 106 total)
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  • in Reply To: Circle of Eights, Stories #878

    Old Narani is becoming too soft.
    While the attraction of the hole was intensely beckoning, Phurt had been appointed by a strange twist of fate to the guard of the prisoners by the Old Mother.

    Bugger Narani whisspered Phurt, why not just kill them, these stupid two-legged animals. Why the pain of keeping them alive? Good thing the daily dose of sedative venom had them quiet now. They would only scare the mooing preys. Stupid, stupid.
    Of course, it would be easy to just sink a little more than usual her sharp tooth into their neck so fragile. A regrettable accident…
    Phurt couldn’t help but smile a grin as wide as her hairy eight-eyed face. But she wasn’t known as the Doctor of Breath for nothing. Her mere breath could be as sweet as a jasmine scent or terribly deadly. She had never missed a target, never could have.
    She was no mere Spinner; how could the Mother have put her to such a slighting task. Degrading. For her, the most promising Hunter of her generation to be doing this while they all were securing the hole perimeter.

    She would have to go. Something was nudging her to move, something like a fluid water sound, that whispered that nothing could happen to those prisoners. No one would be fool enough to dare to enter the Nest.
    Ahaha, why would she care? Nobody would know. And the little ones would alert her in any case.

    With a prodigious jump, she sprung to the forest in the direction of the hole. She couldn’t be denied her destiny.


    Is it gone now? a voice whispered under a pile of giant ferns
    I think it is growled Araili’s voice Thanks to the Snoot’s power of suggestion, I suppose… The Snoot might find spiders eggs delicacy enough to help us in our rescue operation.
    Shall we go there now? Kay? Ready to go and report back if everything’s clear?


    Rafaela was not finding it very difficult to jump on the rocky slopes. It was only difficult for her to remember to stay physically focused so that Anita wouldn’t fall to a certain death. And of course, even more difficult to resist to the attraction of nibbling a few crunchy thistles and brambles that grew here and there.
    But Yuki’s attention was here to remind her, and so far, their progression had been smooth and easy.

    But all of a sudden, the small pink nose of Yuki raised in quicker spasms sniffing the air intently.
    What? What? asked Rafaela who almost forgot her focusing. What?! Did I fart or something?

    Anu who was having the time of her life jumping on the coarse back of the goat giggled at her clueless question.

    — I think the spiders are moving too. We’ll be reaching the hole before them, and the Snoot tells me they won’t be moving close to it. But they won’t let anything or anyone get out of it. Let’s hope dear Armelle will spot a path for our friends.
    — Not to worry, Rafaela said matter-of-factly, Army is good at spoohtting. She’s the best I know at that.
    — OK, let’s move on…


    Claude was finally seeing a pinhole of light, at a close distance. He could just continue to crawl out his way to the light, and he would soon be release. And to cheer him up, he reminded himself that no man nor beast he feared, with his phenomenal strength agility and speed he now had. Too bad he didn’t have any time to get a proper super-hero attire he smiled to himself.


    On Tikfijikoo, the Magpie’s energy maze-cloak was now lift. The fury of the cyclone was now in its full power, and the Magpies were starting their swift deployment.
    The item was left unguarded in the operation room, as far as they could tell, and in the chaos of the elements, surely a few magpies would be unnoticed.

    They had to move quick now. The portal would be opened soon too. They couldn’t come back without bringing “it” back with them.

    in Reply To: Circle of Eights, Stories #889

    Wow that had been bizarre! Veranassessee stood at the bathroom basin and splashed icy cold, reviving water on her face. She knew she’d had sex with Agent Gabriele … however the experience had a slightly surreal quality, not unlike a dream, details slipping elusively away from her as she tried to grasp hold of them. She giggled nervously as she dried her face with a towel. Did she really want to remember? She had just passed Agent Gabriele in the corridor and he had winked at her, saying he couldn’t wait to try the ‘reverse cleaning maid ‘ again. A sudden image came to mind and she saw her skin darken in the mirror as a hot wave of embarrassment flooded her. Good Grief! She thought guiltily of Mahiliki. She hoped the other island had not been too badly affected by cyclone Ycart, so far it seemed Tifikijoo had come off quite lightly.

    Veranassessee had already checked on the guests, Jose Maria and Paquita were still in their room, Mavis was huddled under her bedding and informed her in a muffled voice that Sha and Glor had gone looking for her.


    Well she’s not in her bloody room so where is she eh? Gloria and Sha were on the warpath, determined to get some answers from Veranassessee.

    ‘Ere, Sha! Bloody hell! Glor shook her head in disbelief.

    What’s up Glor?

    Bloody magpies … there are bloody magpies in ‘ere!

    What! Nasty little buggers those magpies. Poke yer bloody eyes out if yer aint careful.

    ‘Ere what they up to eh? Bloody hopping all over that whats-a-ma-callit-doo-dacky machine.

    They’ll be going for the shiny bits I reckon. They do that those magpies. ‘Ere we’d better stop them, might never get our bloody beauty treatments if they bugger that machine up.

    in Reply To: Circle of Eights, Stories #900

    START! said Tina.

    Becky and Tina were doing a meditation together, and Becky decided to just write whatever popped into her head. She could always delete it afterwards, or edit it, she reasoned.

    “Bagpush got out of the washtub”, Becky scribbled, “ And scooted down along the river line to the marks butty big one by the farm. Heavens above, fishly, what’s that brown thing on the water butt? Gawbsmacker said, don’t be talking like that, shekeltons in a hide to ho where and its first light, fair bright and hey ho the wash go. Abbon Ipswich, slaty flats of corncake, hey dee on the wash bucket, spittin in the hole hey down dooly. Margaret Apsworth laying on the white cotton cake spread, fair dooly down the one hooly. Ay and its a hey ho fair fooly down by the wash pooly, drum rolling in the har fool haley, down by the dash darnly. I said, hey ho the brown tooly, hoggin all the raw tooly, stewing in the far fooly for eight pence an hour. Said Mavis of the green sportwear, theres may flowers in the far horse hair, weel butter in the spar for tucker and muck down in the cow butter, said bree in the bird barny, a flying for the far fooly, well its knees up and out your dooly for the green hay beer fair. Its a fine night for a hooly in the row bottom in the far fooly, said mavis of the tom fooly, in the wash bucket down stairs. Once more, sell a nickel farthing, in the morning and in the darning, and say way more is in the star sign than a wash bucket down stairs.”

    Good greif, exclaimed Becky, What was all that about?

    What a load of twaddle, Becky, said Tina with a laugh.

    Well you know what? It was kind of fun and refreshing to just write nonsense
    I am sick of things MEANING something, Becky said, and then, warming to her subject:

    Lets have some good old fashioned MEANINGLESSNESS!

    in Reply To: Circle of Eights, Stories #908

    They won’t stop those nasty buggers! Tearing apart all our beauty machines! Awww, poor Vessie will be devastated! Gloria said sadly, coming dangerously close to the spot
    Watch’out Glo! Sharon cried as a menacing magpie came cawing at her while the others were ripping the machine apart in gruesome metallic sounds.
    Bugger! Bugger! cried Gloria Won’t bloddy poke me eyes! She started to wave her arms and kick out in erratic movements to brush out the bouncing and flying bird.

    STAY CLEAR! the voice of Sha thundered a few moments after, and before Gloria could notice anything, a big thud with a crunching sound went zooming past her.
    Bloddy brilliant Sha! Gloria said, spreading the fatty fingers of her hands off her face to look at the magpie crunched under a coconut. Not so proud now, bloddy bugger! she sniggered at the bird.

    She almost giggled as she looked up on her friend. In a second, she understood how the coconut had been thrown. Ye’re bloody genius Sha! Wouldn’t have thought of using me bra as a sling! she beamed at her nearly naked friend wearing all but wrinkles and padding.

    Oh the buggers, won’t get away with it! an all bucked up Gloria said, stripping her bra off her opulent breasts.
    Dammit, they got something! T’s‘all shiny like a crystal ball! Must be a U.V. lamp or something
    They won’t get away with it! We’ll knock ‘em out one by one those nasty buggers; any more coconuts by yourself sweetie?
    Got aye few pomegranates here
    Go fer it!

    in Reply To: Circle of Eights, Stories #918

    When Phurt awoke, it was all dark and the soil was sodden and drenched and she was all wet to the tips of her fine black and white hair. Her pairs of eyes blinked as a bright lightening illuminated the whole place.
    It looked like a forest, and though everything was silent now safe the sound of the cyclone, she could tell there was water not very far, and that place had all aspects of a body of land surrounded by waters.
    Jumping on her fine legs, she took a look around, looking for any clue… where she could start to build her new nest. The little ones would be soon requiring her attention, and she would have to secure a perimeter for them and herself. Who knew what unknown danger was looming in this unknown place?
    As if answering her silent question, a thunder rolled into the sky opening it in two in a flash of a thunderbolt, revealing somewhere in the less dense parts of the forest, a protruding tip of what seemed a huge white dome-like structure.
    That would be perfect indeed…

    Coming from it, a shriek suddenly filled her ears, parts of which where so clearly in the ultrasounds part of the spectrum that she could hear it perfectly…


    Glo was beaming.
    Aye, I think we got them all the nasty buggers!
    Good riddance! Good thing we took off our clothes, with all that nasty pomegranate juice everywhere
    Odd that those magpies gushed all bloody purple blood everywhere
    Odd indeed, now ye mention it, Sha
    What’s that “indeed” business all about now? Speaking like a bloddy ascended being are ye? Sharon said while readjusting her bra.
    Ascended beings my tits, never ‘ere when ye need them… Now, look at all this purple juice stains now, ruined all our beauty treatments…
    So what we gonna do of this UV lamp now? Sharon asked
    Odd lamp… Looks more a skull than a lamp to me, Sha
    Yeah, they got bizarrest tastes ‘ere, with that clever doctor…
    Sure, that one obviously doesn’t know how to put lipstick properly, now you say it…
    UV skull-shaped lamps now… Next thing we know, we got magpies’ Bloody Margies
    Bloody Margies! Ya’re so smart Sha, ahahaha!
    I reckon we better keep it safe… Poor Vessie seems to have much on her plate with that sexy Italian… don’t want to make another bloddy blunder
    Ya’re the brain, I reckon Sha. Let’s find Mavis and have some snacks… That honeystuff in the fridge was sooo addictive

    in Reply To: Circle of Eights, Stories #930

    Tikfijikoo was in sight, washed by strong winds and pouring rain.
    Hopefully, the major part of cyclone Ycart has passed.
    A faint smile briefly illuminated Mahiliki’s face at the thought of soon being reunited with his love.

    in Reply To: Circle of Eights, Stories #933

    I think we should put back this funny UV lamp back to the tanning room, whady’a reckon Sha?
    Aye Mavis… Good thing those bloody magpies didn’t rip the metallic cap off it, doesn’t look like it’s well fixed…
    Better do that now before it’s all broken…
    Let’s go girls!

    in Reply To: Circle of Eights, Stories #938

    Bloddy lamp is it, you said? Can’t find any lamp missing in there!


    What happened! Mavis? Are you alright?
    Oh, I think I just slipped on that blue slime ‘ere… Crashed something have I?
    Yeah, that small table there, you almost broke it!… Just like Bruce Loo, but with your bum ahahah!
    What was that crushing sound Sha?
    That small lamp there… Oh, that sounds perfect… now we can just put that skullamp to replace it…
    Yeah, let’s do that… Can’t wait to go to some more honeycomb!
    You greedy pooh Glo huhu
    There’s a false contact or something, it blinks strangely, looks like a bloddy disco ‘ere!
    Yeah, looks way better that way. We’ll have to bring back some decent music too.
    Righty oh! I’ve got my old disc from the Bungles…
    Yeahoo! Walk like a Magician!…

    in Reply To: Circle of Eights, Stories #1010

    She was squatting on the sand beach, near the now calm ocean. The light was so dim that she barely could see the devastation, shards of coconut and palm trees spread on the shore, but the sound of the ocean was soothing.

    Aaah she had hold that pee for too long.

    “MAaaAVIS!” That suave authoritative voice must have been Sha’s.
    “COooOMING!” Tsk. One can’t have a pee alone…

    While she was readjusting her two pieces bath suit, ready to come back to the improvised discotheque, her attention was caught by something on the beach. A fire?
    She squinted her little beady eyes to discard any of the hallucinatory visions that sometimes she had.

    BLODDY COMIN’!” a hint of exasperation. “Mrs Sharon Stone, you ain’t the queen here” she thought. “I can go look for adventure meself, if I want to”.
    Besides, the fire didn’t seem to be too far away.


    With the darkness that made very difficult their progress, Akita had made them stop near the shore, where they would see any trouble coming and had ordered the small troop to collect twigs and bits of wood to light a fire.
    The parents were still in a bit of a shock, and were staying with a blank gaze, looking with an air of wildness at the soothing sound of the waves. Anita was playing nearby, drawing things in the sand, muttering words to herself.
    That was a good thing that Claude was there. Unlike the others, he seemed quite strong, and the adventure didn’t seem to have left him short of resources.
    He had been on the island before, and had said they had to avoid the constructions, which were all owned by the same people.
    For all that mattered, Akita wanted to get to the authorities as soon as possible, but he had to compromise: they would settle close enough to have a check around and see if it would be safe to go there.

    In a minute, Claude had been roaming through the woods and had gathered a pile of wood. That guy was pretty amazing, Akita was thinking. Odd that he had retained his supernatural strength… At least, Akita had imagined that the guy’s strength was the result of the spider exposure, but now he started to doubt it. He had been sketchy to say the least around the circumstances of his presence.
    As far as he himself was concerned, Akita wished he had retained somewhere his connection to Kay, wherever his spirit dog was. What the creature had said? That veils were thicker, but not impermeable… Or something around that.

    I think they’re still hanging around

    What? What did you say? But Anita didn’t answer. Perhaps his tired mind was imagining things.

    With all that rain soaked wood, it would be difficult to get anything but smoke.

    I’ve got a lighter Claude handed him an expensive ziraf that flashed moon reflection in his eyes.

    Let’s get started then.


    What now?

    A roaring sound of a flying thing startled Mavis, passing over her head.

    Mmm… this island’s getting too crowded, me think. Must be another of Vessie’s guests… That gal sure’s got how to use her sex-apple.”

    in Reply To: Circle of Eights, Stories #1044

    Just behind the plumpy panting woman who was coming to the campfire, Balbina could see the most interesting waddling goat she had ever seen coming along.

    “And I suspect the goat talks too?” Balbina asked Yuki.
    “Oh, yes… lots even… But don’t expect to understand all she says” Yuki added with a bwink.

    Hahaha, Balbina was amazed. That place was the most delirious dream/out-of-body projection she’d had in a long long time. How entertaining.

    “Beh, don’t be fooled, Balbina dear, it’s all real. And you’ll know very soon.” the goat started to greet her.
    “And you are?”
    Rafaela, at your service.”
    “How many more like you are there here? I’ve never seen such a funny zoo…”
    “A great deal actually” answered Yuki “but not so many of them are focused in this form. You still have to meet our dear Armowlle, who is doing some spying business and occasional rescue missions on the island, and our soft Arailynx who is on more subjective missions currently…”

    Balbina was wondering “and why did you say I’ll know very soon?” she asked the goat.
    Rafaela answered with a mysterious smile “Because I’m planning to communicate a way out of this island to two of my little protégés, and I expect some of these people will follow. And you are very likely to meet them in the flesh when they get there.”
    “Really?!” Balbina was amazed. This dream was taking qualities of realness she wouldn’t have suspected the least it to have.

    “Now,” Yuki cut short the amazement moment “we need to have those among our friends willing to leave, to be prepared to leave at dawn.”

    “Okay” Anita, who had been seated on the sand quietly till then, rocking gently from side to side in a calm meditation, said softly.

    “Oh, she really can feel us talking…” Balbina said more to herself than to anyone else. And looking closely at the girl’s energy field, she could see how expanded it was, reaching those of Yuki, Kay the spirit dog, and Rafaela and even hers in luminous threads.

    “Not all of them are leaving tonight” answered Yuki to her unspoken question. “I think Anita and her parents will, but it’s more than probable than the others will stay. Some have business to do here, and others are in vacations huhu…”

    “You’re right, seems like the one with the strange energy field is gone already?”
    “Oh Claude, you mean. Yes. His mummification experience wasn’t too pleasant, and he has unfinished business with the people of the island; no wonder he prefers to stay here on his own.”

    (on the beach, around the campfire, in Regional Area 1, or physical reality)

    Awww, plane-crash you say? ‘ow wonderful… Mavis was chatting with Akita. Ye need to come with me, ye can’t stay ‘ere all night. Besides, Shar and Glaw will be so thrilled to see you. And we were starting to think it was all boring ‘ere; didn’t know they would have real survivors like on real-TV!

    Aaron and his familythey would probably need some better shelter, I assume. This probably would be best for us to come with you… Akita answered. And apparently, Claude has left, so that’s just us…

    Owlright then! Mavis beamed, come with me handsome! she said, clutching the soldier’s muscular arm under hers.
    Don’t worry Akita, we’ll follow you, said Anita to the soldier who was visibly appealed by the woman but was also weary to leave Anita alone with her sleeping parents. Besides, we can see the lights behind the trees, it’s very near…

    See you there Anita! Akita said to Anu
    Bye Akita! And don’t worry, Kay is always with you she said with a mysterious smile.

    As they walked side by side to the facility, Mavis said “Kay? A friend of yours?”
    “Oh, my lost dog… Nothing to worry about” answered Akita absently.

    in Reply To: Circle of Eights, Stories #1046

    Sharon and Glo were scratching their back at the same time.

    “I think I’ve got something there… a sunburn maybe… it’s been itching since a few hours now and it bloody wouldn’t stop. Will you have a look for me Sha?”
    “Well have a look for me first, my hump is bloody itching too… I think I have allergies… and it will bring you luck :yahoo_eyelashes: dear.”
    “Oh my Floveness! you’ve not shaven your hump today! I didn’t know you were so blimey hairey! I promise I won’t tell Mavis. Shall I fetch some biafine?”


    :spider: :yahoo_good_luck: :spider:

    in Reply To: Circle of Eights, Stories #1112

    The island had never felt as populated as these past hours. Veranassesee didn’t know really which way to turn, really.

    “Gather your wits, V” she told herself.

    Obviously, it was a bit difficult, she had a terrible time to concentrate. The past few hours felt like they were stretching on forever in time, for no reason at all?

    Take that mmm… wanton memory of the night with Agent Gabriele ; it was still fresh on her mind, and yet, she could hardly tell whether Gabriele was still around in his bungalow, or whether he had left… Feelings of guilt on her part perhaps. Well, it had taken her no less than forty pages… what was she saying? It had taken her no less than forty minutes to come back to him and fall with blissful abandon in his hairy manly arms, and that could as well have been happening two, three months ago for all matter and purpose.

    Perhaps that was the work of evil aliens tampering with her mind and memories. Hardly an excuse, she had been trained for far worse occurrences. She had to list her priorities.
    Well, her mission of course. What were you thinking? Now that plan B seemed to have failed miserably, Operation Spider seemed likely to be a total fiasco.
    She had apparently lost the item in a purple blood trail, and there was that fishy Jarvis she had to take care of too.
    But somehow, if she could get that item back, perhaps she could redeem herself. Or else, dreary Fukitupi and Mahiliki would be waiting for her. Hardly a consolation.

    Of course, as if to add to the total disarray of her plans and desire to have things neatly organized, the Higloshama gang (that’s how she liked to call the three atomic divas — Mavis, Sharon and Gloria) had once again disappeared from their pods, probably to gaze at the moon in-between a few cyclones… Well, in any case, they would find a way to get back. If pigeons do, why not them?

    As for the other patients, the door was closed, and they probably were asleep. Oh, and in any case, ugly-faced as they were, they probably couldn’t get far without triggering a trail of fear howling. She had to admit, she was sourer than usual. Anyway… down the list of problems.

    Ah, the doctor of course. Well, he could go to hell, but that would be doing her too big a favour.

    The sound of the plane coming to the island drew her out of her calculations. As she was adjusting her holster to greet the untimely airborne visitors, she sent a brief mental note as a leitmotiv to herself so that she wouldn’t forget “find the bee-man, Jarvis, Jarvis, Jarvis…”

    And she did right.
    She almost lost her composure when she recognized Mahiliki on the plane.

    in Reply To: Circle of Eights, Stories #1113

    When he had heard the others discuss around the campfire the possibility to ask help from the owners of the island, Claude knew he had to focus back on his mission. He had finally managed to escape the clutches of that mad doctor and his witches, not to be sheepishly brought back to them again.

    And that little girl seemed to know better than stay here. Despite her tender age, Claude could tell she was well guided, and didn’t really need his being a bodyguard for her family.
    And Akita, well, he was a soldier, and knew how to take care of himself. Surely, the V girl wouldn’t be as tough as those giant spiders they fought on the parallel island.

    So, without more hesitation, in a move of preternatural swiftness and stealthiness, Claude disappeared again in the forest.
    He knew he had to find his contact on the island. The bee-man.


    Mavis! About bloddy time!… Ooooh, look at that… went hunting, have you…
    — and kept that quiet too, little black ‘orse. Ye could do the introducing, can’t you?

    Sha and Glo, rendered a bit irritated by their itching were eying the stranger coming with Mavis with a curiosity drown in envy.

    in Reply To: Circle of Eights, Stories #1168

    Military hospital, Scott Base, October 2008

    “It’s BLOODY freezing ‘ere!” a hirsute mop of hair was whining on a camp bed next to two others.

    “Would you just shut the flove up, Glo! You’ve been whining for ‘ours now! It’s not bloddy believable…”
    “Like Mavis says, Glo! We all got in that same bloddy boat ye know… It’s no bed of stinkin’ roses for us either!”

    A long sigh came from Glo, again interrupting the silence.

    “A bloddy pity, you have to admit; being a lady, with PMS for years… At least I could console meself I didn’t have to shave like a man for Pete’s sake! And now we’re over with bloddy PMS, we are as hairy as gorillas!”

    “Don’t be silly Glo, they said they’d find a cure… innit Sha? T’is not what they said? Vessie promised us!”
    “Yeah, just before that little trollop ran away with the others, leaving us in quarantine… Not even a consideration for our efforts to help her seduce the sexy guy …”
    “Ungrateful yeah… When we could have stolen the guy’s heart easily…”
    “Ahahaha, no blimin’ way! not with your new hairdo Sha dear… Ahahah, don’t mean to be rude!”
    “Hey girls, any idea where’s Askitoy?…”
    Akita ?”
    “Put him in confinement I reckon… The poor bloke was delirious, saying he was a WWII soldier…”
    “Good thing the bloddy honeycomb didn’t make us loose our sharp wits, eh!”

    in Reply To: Circle of Eights, Stories #1188

    — “I have to agree with Glor”, said Mavis, as Sharon was about to object to the loud whines
    — “Oh, bummer, you two peas in a pod! How can you be cold with all that fur on you! And how do you want to break out this prison you whiners eh?”
    — “You’re the bloody genius Sha, you tell us! Had you not signed us up for those stupid beauty treatments…”
    — “Now that’s a bit late for what-ifs, init? Let’s make the best of what we’ve got; had it not always worked out that way?”

    The two others Yeah’ed in unison.

    — “Do you mean we’ll burn our fleece to make us warm?”, Glor asked sheepishly
    — “Don’t be bloddy silly! If we want to escape, better keep that fur as long as we’re in penguin land !”
    — “So what?”
    — “What ‘what’?! Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed?” Sharon’s voice trailed off with a hint of hopelessness

    — “You’ve been snotting all around for hours, and you haven’t bloddy noticed?!”

    — “Our snot, bloddy ‘ell! It’s sticky like those goddam spider webs! With a bit of training, I’m sure we can knit a solid net and ropes and stuff to get out of ‘ere!”

    in Reply To: Circle of Eights, Stories #1197

    “That’s so disgusting” Gloria was complaining, as their first ‘snet’ (that’s short for ‘snot net’) was nearly completed.

    “Not to mention ‘aving to knot with bloody chicken bones! How low can you go…” Mavis echoed with a snuffle.

    “Yeah, it looks mighty indestructible that knitting, ladies” an appraising Sharon said to the other divas. “Now, the ropes!”

    in Reply To: Circle of Eights, Stories #1202

    “I can ‘ear someone comin’! Sha!” Mavis was pointing the door with an alarmed look on her face

    “But it’s their lunch break, nobody’s supposed to be ‘ere”

    “Then, that’s our chance! Prepare the ropes and the snet!”

    in Reply To: Circle of Eights, Stories #1203

    The 3 ladies didn’t have the time to get prepared as the door was blown open by an explosion, the sound of which made their newly very sensitive ears suffer hell!

    “Oh! me god I’m wounded!” Mavis shouted suddenly. “You 2 have to avenge me, I think I’m not gonna make it…”

    “Don’t be so silly, Mavis, you’re perfectly healthy! It’s just watermelon flesh! But shush! We’re not alone…” shouted Gloria as the explosion had made her deaf too.

    A shadow suddenly entered the room full of vaporized watermelon juice… The red mist was almost opaque and Glo couldn’t identify clearly what it was. A big round head, obviously an alien… but with their new strength and the snet they would put it down in no time.

    She jumped on the form and shouted to her companions to throw the snet. As she tried to bite the big rounded head another jumped on her with a gnarling bark. She was projected on the opposite wall, almost knocked out. As the red mist began dissipating, she could clearly see a knocked out Akita with a watermelmet on his head…

    in Reply To: Circle of Eights, Stories #1217

    It took Akita a few minutes to come back to himself, and a few more to make sense of the situation.

    At first he thought a huge six-eyed hairy creature was staring at him, but then the blur started to dissipate and he recognized by order of appearance, Sharon the divine, Gloria the brave, and Mavis the eloquent.

    — Shtttt! He’s coming back!
    — Are you okay? How many fingers do I have?
    — Oh, shut up Glor, we’d better be quick before they all come back from lunch; rather carry him on my back than having to eat their bloody penguin grub once again!
    — Oh, all my fur for a few scones with a cup of Earl Grey!

    “Mmmm…” Akita managed to say “Where on Earth did you get those expensive fur coats? and why are you keeping them under your blouses?!”… “And where was Kay when he needed it?” he asked to himself.

    “Oh, bugger it” shouted Sharon “no time for explanations, let’s move now! Chop, chop! Glor, you take the snet and the ropes, Mav’ all the watermelbombs you can get; and don’t blow yourself up; I’ll take Akitoo. To the snow scooters’ hangar! Now!”

    in Reply To: Circle of Eights, Stories #1218

    “Are these the snooters?”
    “You mean, snow scooters Glo?”
    “Yes, snooters, that’s what I said Mavis, don’t be bloody snooty with me”
    “They’re jolly small, init?”
    “Don’t be silly girls, 250 pounds max weight it says! With us as light as air, even with that mop of hair, it’ll carry us to Texas in no time”
    “Texas? Not sure there’s much snow in there…”
    “Oh shut up Mavis!”

    With that said, Sharon, Gloria and Mavis were soon riding on the icy slopes, with Akita solidly snetted to the back of Sharon’s machine.

    in Reply To: Circle of Eights, Stories #1232

    “Girls! Let’s ‘ave a rest! Akita’s waking up!” Sharon’s powerful voice commanded the caravan of snooter-powered hairy ladies to a halt.

    “Wow, I really start to love this place,” Gloria was reeling. “And who knew all this extra hair would come in so handy. Look! Another aurora borealis !”
    “Yeah, an’ another crowd of trillion of these darn Adélie penguins shoutin’ like Freddy during those bloody crickets cups…” said Mavis with a sniffle, pointing at the icy coastline blackened by the seemingly boundless flock of little noisy creatures.
    “And how the heck you so sure they’re Adultery penguins?” snapped Gloria a bit vexed her sharing of the beauties of the white paradise was left soiled by Mavis “like you’re goin’ to impress us with your botanic knowledge-it-all? Just because you love looking at those stupid nightly animal documentaries?”

    “Be still girls! Bring those watermelbombs to make a fire, food and water, we’re camping here until Akita’s ready to go.”

    in Reply To: Circle of Eights, Stories #1234

    Gloria had volunteered to go fetch whatever thing she could find to feed the measly fire burning in a ice crevice. They were starting to get a bit hungry and the watermelbomb once exploded weren’t giving off much to feed on. She was starting to hallucinate delicious roasted penguins on a fire, with a slice of bread and whale lard, and a smoking cup of algae tisane…

    “Golly, this is gettin’ sick! The little buggers are so cute…” she mused, fondly overlooking the flock of penguins on the shore, some diving and catching fish, others nursing, some gliding lazily on the glittering ice.

    “Now look at this!” she said “SHA! SHA! Com’ere!”


    “What the ‘eck!” Akita couldn’t believe its ears.
    “Weeehoo! We’re goin’ome, and on a cruise mind ye!” Mavis was beaming.
    “On a frigging iceberg! You can’t be serious!”
    “Oh don’t be such a party pooper Akitooh, it’s perfect!” Sharon said
    Not even trying to be reassuring, Mavis echoed “Yes! Remember BBC talkin’ about it years ago; just another mad project they said. But I loved that! Mad projects ye know… never thought I would see that in my lifetime. Guess the project has been funded after all. Drifting bagged icebergs to Africa through the Indian Ocean! Now that’s a plan!”
    “And look! this one has got propellers, and a little platform,… and a satellite dish!” Sharon was inspecting the behemothic plastic-bagged iceberg on rockets which was bobbing up and down, still anchored to the nearby whale-watching base.
    “Hope it’s not teleguided by aliens though…” Gloria said a bit wearily.

    “Well, I suppose it’s our best option for now” Akita was trying to be appreciative of the ladies efforts. “And how do we hop on that thing?”

    “Oh, that’s easy! Bring the ropes girls!”

    in Reply To: Circle of Eights, Stories #1239

    “That looks good this cruisin’ floatin’ icecub !” Sharon said.

    On the deckchairs next to hers, Glor and Mavis were sunbathing tucked under warm rug blankets, appreciating the pale glimmers of sun that started to show up on this new day.

    “Friggin’ fantastic!”
    “It’s the bloody best holidays ever! The sun is so warm, we’ll be in Africa in no time, with Akitooh at the ‘elm!”
    “Didn’t he say it was operated by Yuksomesilly cruise line?”
    “Maybe Mav’, why you wonder?”
    “It’s like it rings some kind of bell…”

    Indeed, Akita had discovered a funny logo at the command board, and instructions left for the captains with headers coming from Yukailli Corp. He never heard of them before, which was not so strange after all, as he had missed a few years since his disappearing at the beginning of WWII in the Sargastic Seas, but they seemed rather organized for what had only seemed a simple iceberg in a giant plastic bag.

    Now, he wondered, would they make it safely through the seas, without encountering typhoons, or… pirates? Kay was reassuring, but well, he was a ghost dog, so not really on the front line…
    Good thing was that they still had some watermelbombs…

    in Reply To: Circle of Eights, Stories #1240

    “‘ere, what’s that bloody dog got? I fought it was a bone, but it don’t look like a bone from ‘ere, Sha” said Gloria lifting up her sunglasses to get a better look. “It looks like some kind of artifact, where’d ‘e get that then?”

    “‘E ‘ad that since before we left, d’int yoo notice? ‘e was diggin’ in the snow for days, ‘e was” replied Sharon, “I ‘int touching it, it’s covered in ghost dog ether-dribble, if yoo wants a closer look, Glor, then you ‘ave a look, I ‘int touching it.”

    in Reply To: Circle of Eights, Stories #1241

    Gloria wasn’t squeamish about ghost dog ether-dribble, having grown up with plenty of dogs about the place, of both the alive and ghost varieties, so she went over to inspect the mysterious object. Wiping the ether-dribble off with the back of her hairy forearm, she peered at the artifact.

    “It’s a bit chipped round the edges, Sha, but it looks a bit like a tile. There’s a drawing on it, but I can’t seem to make it out, it’s all ingrained with muck.”

    “Give it ‘ere” Sharon said, her curiosity getting the better of her. Gloria passed her the object and she spat on it and rubbed it with her fingers. Not unlike rubbing a magic lamp in anticipation of a Jeannie appearing, a strange symbol came into focus in crystal clarity on the tile.


    “Blimey O Riley, our Sha!” exclaimed Gloria, “What in the name of Dicken’s it that?!”

    Turning the tile over, Sharon exclaimed “Well, will you lookit this! There’s a message written on the back of it in some kind of code!”


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