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  • #2413

    Fwick’s bladder was boiling, and pressing him for a release. That was that little minute of inattention that cost him the equally little spider, and nearly his life.

    While he was blaming and swearing at the bitter butter, he had not noticed that the amount of butter he’d prepared wouldn’t nearly have been enough to bread the spider, since the spider had already ingested the mighty yeast —as much by an insane curiosity as by bouts of bloody hunger— and as it happens, the yeast was starting to take effect.

    As the weather was still a tad on the cold side in Peasland, there was a sane amount of logs piled up against the stove, which was roaring in delight well-fed as it was. It was giving the little spider ideas, as well as a newfound strength and breadth (and some beard too, but it didn’t really matter… yet, at least).

    So while Fwick was moaning of delight at emptying said bladder into the loo, a bloody blunder was looming more than he could see.

    The little spider started to outgrow the little matchbox, which ceded without much resistance, nor any noise.
    The middle-sized spider then started to outgrow the table, which in turn ceded in a mild crack.
    Finally, the big-sized spider now dying for a breakfast the size of a cow jumped by the window which jarred at the impact and finally, as all objects learn in good time when dealing with the spider, ceded to release the hungry bearded nine-eyed now-not-so-little deadly spider with a squeaking mwahahing voice.

    That was the voice of the spider by the way, not that of the window, which didn’t have a voice to start with, even in Peasland.

    #2410
    TracyTracy
    Participant

      “Well, I’m not eating bitter batter, even if it has got butter in it. I’m going out dancing, are you coming?”

      “Dang it, yes! Let’s dance, darling, let’s dance! It’s a dandy day for dancing, I’m decidedly dapper today ~ and dashing and daring, dammit!”

      “Come on then you cute cuddly chickpea, my carriage careers round the corner now, to catch you at the curb. Come, cherished chum, come cavorting with me!”

      #2409

      “Bugger!” bemoaned Fwick. “Blah! The butter is bitter. The butter I bought to go in the batter with the vegemyth. The butter is bitter, but now it’s blended in my batter and my blimmin batter is bitter.”

      The little spider giggled gleefully to himself.

      #2272
      TracyTracy
      Participant

        Ann handed in her assignment somewhat reluctantly. She hadn’t given it a great deal of thought, in fact she didn’t have a great deal of time to work on it. She had decided to do a haiku.

        wet slobber drips
        down my chin like rancid butter
        gag at first kiss

        :yahoo_sick:

        #2601

        In reply to: Strings of Nines

        TracyTracy
        Participant

          Yoland decided to stick to fiction for awhile rather than the reporting of facts. She would even go so far as to disguise the facts to look like fiction, because fiction never got you into trouble, so she was inclined to think after the mornings rude awakening. If she simply said ‘I made it up’ in future, well, it seemed an easier way. Yoland decided to talk to herself for the forseeable future too, rather than to anyone else. She would make up characters to talk to, but it would all be made up, none of it would be the reporting of facts. She was through with facts, facts were too much trouble. Making it all up was easier.

          While she was eating her marmite buttered toast, she opened the book at random that she had taken to bed with her the previous night, but hadn’t opened.

          Once again, Yoland exclaimed “What a coincidence”, and wondered if coincidences would ever cease to be enchanting and fun. She doubted it, somehow. Each coincidence was always such a tiny tantalizing glimpse of so much more.

          “…..you merely perceive a small portion of any given action,” Yoland read, “and when you cease to perceive it then it seems to you that the action itself ceases, and so an artificial boundary is erected.

          “It has not occured to you, you see, to attempt to look OVER this boundary, so to speak, because you have taken it for granted that nothing exists on the other side. I am not here speaking necessarily of death, though this is the obvious instance of course. I am speaking of something much more subtle. I am speaking of ANY small seemingly insignificant action that you perform during an ordinary day, and HERE we are coming close.”

          Yoland reckoned Seth was pretty close to what she’d been saying the previous night.

          “You percieve only the most initial elements of such an action. It is as if you threw a ball, and could only follow the ball three inches away in space ~ then the ball would seem to vanish to you. The action would therefore seem completed. You would think it idiotic to imagine what happened to the ball when you could see it no longer, for habit would work in such a way that the disappearance of the ball would seem natural and normal, and a part of the nature of things.

          “So, comparing the ball to an action, you perceive but the smallest portion of any given action, even one performed by yourself. It does not occur to you that there is more to perceive.”

          Yoland was inclined to agree. Then she suddenly remembered that she was making it all up from now on, and went for a stroll around the Kasbah.

          :mummy:

          #1214
          TracyTracy
          Participant

            “This is a long process, Godfrey , a very long process” Elizabeth said with a wry chuckle. She had left her characters to their own devices for so long she didn’t know where to jump in again with her directing.

            “The process is the point, dear” Pig Littleton replied dryly. “Pass the peanuts, would you?”

            “There are hundreds of probable possibilities, in fact there are so many of them that I hardly seem able to find a place to start.”

            “Start anywhere Liz, and then stop when you’re finished.” Godfrey said with his mouth full of peanuts. “Ideas are like peanuts, you can savour them one at a time…”

            “Or shove a whole handful in your mouth at once, eh Piggy” retorted Elizabeth, frowning as Godfrey tried to munch, swallow and speak all at the same time. “If I shove too many in my mouth at once, I can’t remember each individual peanut, it all becomes a glob of sticky….”

            “Peanut butter spread? And what’s wrong with that?” Pig Littleton smiled.

            “Well for one thing Godfrey, all those bits of peanuts stuck in your teeth is rather off putting you know.”

            “Why?” asked Godfrey.

            “Why?” Elizabeth repeated, perplexed.

            “Yes, why? Why do you perceive the physical evidence of my enjoyment of peanuts captured for a moment between my teeth as off putting?”

            “When you put it like that, dear Piggy, I confess I don’t have an answer” Elizabeth replied with a snort. “As a matter of fact, I have no idea where this conversation is leading at all!”

            “Aha, and there you have it!”

            “Have what, Godfrey? What on earth do you mean?”

            “Well, why should it be leading anywhere in particular? The process is the point, Liz, not the destination!”

            “Hang on a minute, are you trying to tell me that this conversation about peanuts is a meaningful process with a point?”

            Godfrey Pig Litteton laughed, spraying bits of peanut everywhere and nearly choking. “Who said anything about meaningful?”

            “Well what’s the point of it if it isn’t meaningful?”

            “If it’s meaning you want, you can read all sorts of things into it. On the other hand, if it’s fun you want, why worry about meaning?”

            Elizabeth shook her head, perplexed. “Is it fun that I want?”

            “Don’t you know?!” asked Godfrey, in mock surprise.

            “Well of course I want fun! Everyone does, surely!”

            “Then why” Godfrey said with exaggerated patience “worry about meaning?”

            “I’m not worried about meaning, Piggy, you’re twisting my words, you tricky rascal!”

            “My dear Elizabeth, I quote you: ‘What’s the point of it if it isn’t meaningful’”

            “Pfft” she replied. “I might delete that comment. Trouble is, if I do, the rest of it won’t make sense.”

            “Worried about making sense now, are we, dear?” said Godfrey with a sly grin.

            Godfrey, you’re making me sound so old fashioned, worrying about sense and meaning! Pass the peanuts.”

            #1155

            Marvin Scrozzezi was thinking he should really start to find a more suitable title for the movie…

            Teri, one of the actresses he had in mind for the much desired role of Finnley, —in fact the actress, that he had almost wrote the part having her in mind— had refused to audition because of the script’s working title with that undignified ‘R—’ word (a hint to the reader, it’s not what you think)…

            He was thinking… French people had romantic and colourful ways of expressing the same thing… sweeping the chimney, leaking the leek… Argh… forget it…
            He wasn’t sure that “T’Eggy Finds a Big Butternut Squash” would be better either.

            He really sucked at finding titles.

            #1154

            “Wow, it’s big…” Theresa was raptured by the sheer size of it. “I’m not sure I can maneuver it on my own…”

            “Yep. A shame the bloddy rabbits ate half of it…” Phlynn answered nonplussed.

            “Oh, it’s still the biggest butternut squash I’ve seen in a while… We shall have it for dinner.”

            #2152

            In reply to: The Story So Far

            ÉricÉric
            Keymaster

              The Far-West saga

              In 1850s, in a probable reality of South America, we get acquainted with Twilight (Twi) and her brothers Jo and Elroy.
              They have a precious blue bull in their possession, coveted by Ogrean, the kingpin of the town. Hopefully for them, Ogrean is arrested (temporarily) by Ted Marshall, the sheriff for his possible trafficking.
              Notably, Ogrean is possibly involved in some of the crystal skulls discoveries, during his travel to New Honduras.

              Twi who was dancing in the saloon of Madame Butterbutt, the town’s hallucinogenic toads-to-lick dispenser (insert some other romantic subplots involving the other dancer etc.) decides to go traveling in a freakus (freak show/circus).
              She is now close to the West Coast, where she hopes to succeed in her writing and other artistic skills.

              #900

              START! said Tina.

              Becky and Tina were doing a meditation together, and Becky decided to just write whatever popped into her head. She could always delete it afterwards, or edit it, she reasoned.

              “Bagpush got out of the washtub”, Becky scribbled, “ And scooted down along the river line to the marks butty big one by the farm. Heavens above, fishly, what’s that brown thing on the water butt? Gawbsmacker said, don’t be talking like that, shekeltons in a hide to ho where and its first light, fair bright and hey ho the wash go. Abbon Ipswich, slaty flats of corncake, hey dee on the wash bucket, spittin in the hole hey down dooly. Margaret Apsworth laying on the white cotton cake spread, fair dooly down the one hooly. Ay and its a hey ho fair fooly down by the wash pooly, drum rolling in the har fool haley, down by the dash darnly. I said, hey ho the brown tooly, hoggin all the raw tooly, stewing in the far fooly for eight pence an hour. Said Mavis of the green sportwear, theres may flowers in the far horse hair, weel butter in the spar for tucker and muck down in the cow butter, said bree in the bird barny, a flying for the far fooly, well its knees up and out your dooly for the green hay beer fair. Its a fine night for a hooly in the row bottom in the far fooly, said mavis of the tom fooly, in the wash bucket down stairs. Once more, sell a nickel farthing, in the morning and in the darning, and say way more is in the star sign than a wash bucket down stairs.”

              Good greif, exclaimed Becky, What was all that about?

              What a load of twaddle, Becky, said Tina with a laugh.

              Well you know what? It was kind of fun and refreshing to just write nonsense
              I am sick of things MEANING something, Becky said, and then, warming to her subject:

              Lets have some good old fashioned MEANINGLESSNESS!

              #789
              TracyTracy
              Participant

                Becky sneezed again, and shivering, reached for the box of tissues. She was choosing to align with those old fashioned ‘catching a cold’ beliefs because, frankly, she wanted to spend a few days wrapped up in her dressing gown idly flicking through magazines and taking naps and not doing anything much.

                Sean appeared with a tray.

                I’ve made you a nice pot of Earl Grey, and buttered some scones for you, dear. How are you feeling? I’ve done the laundry but I think the nun outfit has shrunk.

                Becky blushed. Oh well never mind that, eh.

                I’ll get you another one, Sean said hopefully.

                Maybe a trench coat and some thigh boots instead, suggested Becky, recalling her drenching in the park in the tarty nun outfit. More practical.

                Sean grinned and sloped off to do some dusting. Call me if you want anything, he called over his shoulder.

                Becky picked up another magazine from the pile next to her. Crisp, it was called, and had a photograph of Sue Flay and the Ova Tones on the front cover.

                #2013

                In reply to: Scrying the Word Cloud

                F LoveF Love
                Participant

                  story front dimension seemed idea butterfly moment asked young skin girl eyes power voice deep

                  #817

                  How restless that dragon is, thought Arona. Always shifting this or that, always talking in his damn riddles. She thought fondly of Buckberry, and how peaceful and content he seemed by comparison.

                  She was no longer sure where she was. She had gone over it a few times in her mind, but try as she might she could not make sense of Leormn’s cryptic explanations. Or that Malvina either, although at least she is a bit more pleasant about it.

                  Anyway, wherever it is, it feels a bit grey, she decided matter-of-factedly. And I am missing the others, even that grumpy Mandrake if the truth be told.

                  She closed her eyes and began to paint colours over the grey. She was not sure what to paint at first, so she just dabbed bright blobs of colour haphazardly onto her mind’s canvas. The colours began to run into each other and form shapes and it it seemed to her they wanted to take on a life of their own. So she let them, and it was not long before she found herself in a meadow of spring flowers.

                  That’s much better, she thought, taking a deep breath and lying back in the soft green grass.

                  :fleuron:

                  As she lay there her mind drifted sleepily, butterfly thoughts every now and then resting on some bright petal in her field of flowers.

                  Just living is not enough, said the butterfly as it danced by her head, one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower.

                  Oh! said Arona excitedly, recognising the words from a far away time, You must be the butterfly of the story! The one my grandmother used to tell me when I was a little girl in the Village.

                  Perhaps I am! danced the butterfly and it whirled and twirled and swirled in the sky.

                  Arona rolled her eyes in exasperation. Now you sound a bit like that wriggly dragon. A simple yes or no would suffice.

                  The butterfly landed on her nose. Now listen here you! Don’t go blaming me. I am YOUR imagination!

                  Oh good point Butterfly, said Arona graciously. She pondered a moment … Well in that case …

                  And next moment Mandrake, Vincentius and Yikesy were sitting in the meadow with her.

                  Oh THERE you are Missy, said Mandrake. Might have known you would be lying around in some spring meadow leaving Vincentius and myself to look after your little sprog. Tsk Tsk, he tutted.

                  hmmm, thought Arona, that’s not quite what I had in mind ..

                  I would have said it’s exactly what you had in mind, whispered the butterfly, fluttering by her ear and then off again until it disappeared into the field of colours.

                  Arona turned her attention to Vincentius and Yikesy, sitting a short distance away in the meadow. She noticed how smooth and golden Vincentius’ skin looked in the morning sunlight, and how deep and melodic his voice was as he told Yikesy one of his seemingly endless repertoire of stories. Imagining a gentle hug and a kiss on his sweet, but it had to be said incredibly ugly face, she sent Yikesy into a peaceful sleep.

                  Oh great idea, smiled Vincentius with a wink. What I had in mind all along really. Perhaps you could also imagine Mandrake chasing a field mouse or something?

                  #1755

                  In reply to: Synchronicity

                  ÉricÉric
                  Keymaster

                    I guess this falls under the category of syncs, though I’ve not yet found all of the implications of this yet…

                    In the various extremely interesting and profound articles I found while browsing the news this morning, I found an intriguing article (FR): “She punches a snake with her bare hands!”. (they could have say “with her bare feet!” or better, “with her bare tits!”, that would have sounded more dramatic, and would have sold best… those wannabe journalists ;)) )

                    Anyways, it tells the vibrant story of a woman named Ruth Butterwurth (sounds like our dear Mrs Butterbutt to me) who punched a python to rescue her kitty from its clutches (well no clutches really, fangs at best) of the monster.

                    The article (which was posted the 23 rd of March, at 14:23, while it’s seems relatively old news) gave a link to a flickr photo with… guess what was on the same page, besides the Nanapython?

                    A lemur, an antelope (looking a bit like a :goat: :yahoo_oh_go_on: ) and a lynx :cat_happy: too. :spider: :y_orly: :yahoo_big_hug:

                    On the python article:

                    In Greek mythology Python was the earth-dragon of Delphi, always represented in the vase-paintings and by sculptors as a serpent. Pytho was the chthonic enemy of Apollo, who slew her and remade her former home his own oracle, the most famous in Classical Greece.

                    Mmm, Mrs Butterbutt and draggies? :detective:

                    #1749

                    In reply to: Synchronicity

                    F LoveF Love
                    Participant

                      Last night the guests asked where Lucknow Crescent was as they had friends to visit. I had heard of it, but being really bad with directions just gave them a map.

                      Today, walking home from the supermarket I started thinking about synchs. At that moment some workmen in a truck pulled up and asked me if I knew where Lucknow Crescent was.

                      Thinking about this synch … a couple of things struck me … the name is interesting and also that I did not know where it was.

                      (just as i wrote that i noticed a monarch butterfly out of the corner of my eye fly in front of the window, the association here for me is a quote from Abraham I like about the meaning of butterfly signs .. or synchs )

                      As a sort of symbolic thing, i am going to find out were Lucknow Crescent is. As soon as I went to look it up i suddenly remembered where it was.

                      #774
                      Jib
                      Participant

                        The red dung beetles were little by little slowing their pace and their form wasn’t so absolute now. Some were becoming butterflies and as they began to take off graciously, Sam was feeling the release of a long hold burden. Some others were settling down into the form of mushrooms of different colors. He could feel their different qualities and their specific roles in his previous experimentation. As beetles they all looked the same, but as he was allowing the reconfiguration of the energy they were expressing very different qualities and meanings.

                        He heard a joyous whistle and he suddenly remembered the Nanaconda.

                        You followed me all this way?

                        YesSss

                        You seem different to me now, as if you were the snake in the Little Prince’s story. Though you are not the same either.

                        Your perssSseption isSss quite accurate, I musSst sSssay.

                        Are you here to help me go back home?

                        #743
                        ÉricÉric
                        Keymaster

                          Al woke up from a series of lucid dreams, interspersed with false awakening in which he was in the same space arrangement, but visibly another time space or even dimension… He was quite familiar now with these stuff, and could remember them well, but still had doubt about the implications of the strange imageries he was getting glimpses of.
                          It was like his tatami (because at this time, Al was finding more comfortable to sleep on the rice-straw mattress) was a flying carpet with its own volition, and Albert, like some modern-time Aladdin, was finding himself plunged right into new horizons.

                          Last vision had almost made him blush of the deranged aspects of his mind. Sure he was finding Becky rather attractive (who wouldn’t, he was wondering), but imaging her scantily clad in that skimpy dress in the middle of the bushes was surely some trick of his luscious mind rather than some bona fide connection of his magic tatami.

                          Good thing too that the joggers (or thought-forms, whatever they might have been) in the park in which the magic tatami had landed couldn’t see the projected form of Al, because he was unable to move right now, except for some embarrassing lower part of his body. Now the tatami was looking like a circus tent. Oh dear… the wedding had been really hard on his nerves, he reckoned.

                          When he finally woke up, he noticed some voice messages on his telephone from Becky and thought he would probably skip mentioning his last synchronicity of his :yahoo_whistling:
                          What was she wanting that necessitated a dozen messages on his phone? Couldn’t she just call Sean, or was he still incapacitated by the gallons of vodka he had “injested”?
                          Well, surely the matter would wait for him to shave, for he was starting to look like Mr Cavern, with the huge hunger too —he smiled at the idea that dear Becky would surely fear he might eat a clue by mistake…

                          :fleuron:

                          Moments later, after a good shower, fresh clothes and some slices of buttered nuts bread with pumpkin jam, he telepathically connected to Becky, wondering why she had not thought of that method in the first place… What was the point of all these group meditations together with Sam and Tina if they couldn’t make good profit of the enhanced neurological pathways they had built together. Granted Becky had always been a bit reluctant to use it, or perhaps just forgetful of that possibility… Anyway…

                          CAN’T YOU JUST KNOCK BEFORE YOU CONNECT! a shriek suddenly filled his skull

                          Al immediately shut the visual, blushing of the renewed deranged vision…

                          — Sorry, I just…
                          — Oh, no need to trail forever on that… I’ve found someone to help me, and yes, I do remember how to connect telepathically!

                          With that, all was left in Al’s skull was a big whooshing wind.

                          #719
                          TracyTracy
                          Participant

                            Becky put the butter back in the fridge and noticed a large casserole dish covered with a cloth. She peered into the dish, wondering what it was.

                            Oof! said Becky, wrinking her nose in distaste. It was leftovers of that ghastly reindeer stew that Elvira and Boris had contributed to the wedding feast, made with Al’s gruesome green bacon.

                            It’s a miracle we didn’t all die of food poisoning, thought Becky. That batty old crone Elvira was too old to be trusted in a kitchen, anyway. 121 years old, and showing no signs of kicking the bucket yet. Bring back euthanasia, she thought wickedly.

                            Oh I don’t mean it really, she said to herself (out loud, in case Tina was remotely viewing her again). I love Elvira really.

                            #715

                            Several days later, when the wedding celebrations had finished, nobody could remember anything about it, other than the jokes and poems. In true Russian custom, there had been ample alcohol…well, more than ample, there had been several hospital admissions from alcohol poisoning, drunken brawls and accidents.

                            Becky swallowed another aspirin, recalling one of the jokes that Sam had told.

                            As a Lord Wrick was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang.

                            Sam continued: Answering, he heard the mummy’s voice urgently warning him, “Wrick, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on the M4. Please be careful!”

                            “It’s not just one car,” said Wrick, “It’s hundreds of them!”

                            Sheesh, sighed Becky.

                            As she poured herself another mug of coffee, a limerick popped into to her head.

                            There was an Old Crone with a beard,
                            Who said, ‘It is just as I feared!
                            Two Owls and a Lynx,
                            And a Rabbit in Pink,
                            Have all built their nests in my beard!’

                            Who had told that one, was it Sean? Becky smiled wanly as another one popped into her head.

                            There was an Old Abbot whose habits,
                            Induced him to feed upon rabbits;
                            When he’d eaten eighteen,
                            He turned perfectly green,
                            Upon which he relinquished those habits.

                            The toast popped up, and as Becky buttered it she remembered a joke of Al’s.

                            Most dentists chairs go up and down, don’t they? Al asked the wedding guests.
                            The one I was in went back and forwards.
                            I thought, “This is unusual.”
                            The dentist said to me, “Al, get out of the filing cabinet.”

                            #669

                            So why are you here? Malvina was asking to the man with amber eyes and the black-haired woman with streaks of teal.
                            Tired of having danced, Leo, the marmoset was nestled on her lap, and she was lovingly stroking his little white mane. Comfortably put on langoat wool cushions, she was sipping yrok-butter tea, around a low round table with her alien guests.

                            Well, that is a long story, said Georges
                            And you probably are aware of a part of it, said Salome
                            Yes, I am, answered Malvina, as far as dragons’ memory goes…
                            Indeed, and there was a time before the dragons…

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