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  • #7254
    TracyTracy
    Participant

      “Oh!” exclaimed Liz, who had heretofore been struggling to stay abreast of recent developments.  “You mean Mr Du Grat!  Honestly Finnley, your pronunciation leaves much to be desired.  I have it from the horses mouth that the charming Mr Du Grat has gone on an adventure.  More’s the pity,” she added, “As I was just starting to take a shine to him.”

      “But what about Walter Melon?” Roberto chimed in nervously.

      “What’s it got to do with you?” Liz narrowed her eyes.  “Turning the garden into a wildlife haven was a mistake, it’s left you with far too much time on your hands, my boy!  See if there’s anything you can do to help Finnley, it might stop her screaming.”

      “Why not help her with the baby faced cookies, Roberto?” Godfrey said mildly, peering over the top of his spectacles.

      “What was that you said? I can’t hear over that racket.”

      “I SAID..” Godfrey shouted, but was prevented from continuing when the corner of Liz’s desk landed on his gouty toe, which left him momentarily speechless.

      “Well that shut you all up, didn’t it!” With a triumphant smile, Liz surveyed the room. Her sudden urge to upend her desk, sending papers, books, ashtrays, peanuts and coffee cups scattering all over the room had been surprisingly therapeutic.  “I must do that more often,” she said quietly to herself.

      “I heard that,” retorted Finnley. “Let’s see how therapeutic it is to clean it all up.”  And with that, Finnley marched out of the room, tossing her toilet plunger over her shoulder which hit Godfrey on the side of his head knocking his glasses off.

      “Not so fast, Finnely! Godfrey shouted.  The pain in his big toe had enraged him.  But it was too late, the insubordinate wench slammed the door behind her and thundered up the stairs.

      “Ah, Roberto!  You can clean all this mess up.   I’m off to the dentist for a bit of peace and quiet.  I’ll expect it all to be tip top and Bristol fashion when I get back.”

      Thundering back down the stairs, Finnley flung the door open. “You use far too many cliches!” and then slammed back out again.

      #7173

      In reply to: Orbs of Madjourneys

      The morning of the lager and cart race dawned bright and clear.  The camping ground was full to overflowing with tents and camper vans, with several parked up outside the Flying Fish Inn. Zara overheard Finly complaining to Mater about all the extra work with all and sundry traipsing in and out using the toilets, and Bert muttering about where was all the extra water supposed to come from and what if the well ran dry, and was it all really worth it, and Zara saw him scowl when Idle told him to lighten up and enjoy it.  “Hah! Enjoy it? Nothing good ever happens when a dust storm comes for the cart race,” he said pointedly to Idle, ” And damn near everyone asking about the old mines, I tell you, nothing good’s gonna come from a cart race in a dust storm, the mayor shoulda cancelled it.”  Bert slammed the porch door as he stomped off outside, scowling at Zara on the way past.

      Zara watched him go with a quizzical expression. What was going on here?  Idle had told her about her affair with Howard some forty years ago, and how she’d had to disappear as soon as it became obvious that she was pregnant.  Zara had sympathized and said what an ordeal it must have been, but Idle had laughed and said no not really, she’d had a lovely time in Fiji and had found a nice place to leave the baby.  Then Howard had disappeared down the mines, and what was the story about Idle’s brother leaving mysteriously? Idle had been vague about that part, preferring to change the topic to Youssef.  Was the Howard story why Bert was so reluctant for anyone to go down the mines? What on earth was going on?

      And how had Yasmin’s parcel ended up in Xavier’s room?  Xavi had soon noticed that he’d picked it up by mistake and returned it to Yasmin, but how had it ended up on the table on the verandah? It was perplexing, and made Yasmin disinclined to deliver it to Mater until she could fathom what had happened.  She had tucked in under her mattress until she was sure what to do.

      But that wasn’t the only thing that had piqued Zara’s curiosity.  When Idle had said she’d had the baby in Fiji, and found a nice place to leave it, Zara couldn’t help but think of the orphanage where Yasmin was working.  But no, surely that would be too much of a coincidence, and anyway, a 40 year old orphan wouldn’t still be there.   But what about that woman in the BMW that Yasmin felt sure she recognized?   No, surely it was all too pat. But then, what was that woman in the dark glasses doing in Betsy’s shop?  Betsy was Howards wife. Idle had mentioned her when she told her story over the second bottle of wine.

      Should she divulge Idle’s secrets to Yasmin and quiz her on the woman in dark glasses? Zara decided there would be no harm in it, after all, they would be leaving soon after the cart race, and what would it matter.  She fetched two cups of coffee from the kitchen and took them to Yasmin’s room and knocked gently on the door.

      “Are you awake?” she called softly.

      “Yeah, come in Zara, I’ve been awake for ages,” Yasmin replied.

      Zara put the coffee cups on the bedside table and sat on the side of Yasmins bed. “There’s something going on here, I have to tell you something. But first, have you worked out who that woman in the BMW is?”

      Yasmin looked startled and said “How did you know?  Yes I have. It’s Sister Finli from the orphanage, I’m sure of it.  But why has she followed me here? And in disguise! It’s just creepy!”

      “Aha!” Zara couldn’t suppress a rather triumphant smile. “I thought it was just a wacky idea, but listen to this, Idle told me something the other night when we sat up drinking wine.”  As she told Idle’s story, Yasmin’s eyes widened and she put a hand over her open mouth.

      “Could it be…?”

      “Yes but why in disguise? What is she up to? What should we do, should we warn Idle?”  Zara had warmed to Idle, and if there were any sides to be taken in the matter, she felt more for Idle than that unpleasant woman from the orphanage who was so disturbing to Yasmin.

      “Oh I don’t know, maybe we should keep out of it!” Yasmin said. “That parcel though!  What am I going to do about that parcel!”

      Zara frowned. “Well, you have three options, Yas.  Open it and read it… don’t look so horrified!  Or deliver it as promised..”

      “We’ll never know what it said though if we do that,” Yasmin was looking more relaxed now.

      “Exactly, and I’m just too curious now.”

      “And the third option?”

      Ignoring the question, Zara asked where the parcel was.  Yasmin grinned wickedly but a knock at the door interrupted her intention to retrieve the parcel from under the mattress.   It was Youssef, who asked if he could come in.

      “Shall we tell him?” Zara whispered, as Yasmin called out “Of course! Is Idle after you again? Quick, you can hide under my bed!”

      “Not yet” Yasmin whispered back. “I need to think.”

      #6786

      In reply to: Coma Cameleon

      ÉricÉric
      Keymaster

        Tibu looked up at her, surprised by the offer. He hadn’t expected anyone to offer him anything more than spare change or a half-eaten sandwich. “That’s very kind of you,” he said with a small smile, “I’d like that very much.”

        The young woman returned his smile and disappeared for a while. She came back a few minutes later, with two cups of steaming hot tea. Handing one to Tibu, she started sipping her own while they stood in silence for a moment looking at the last drops of dripping water from the eaves overhead, as the rain had started to subside.

        Tibu couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness. Here he was, a man with no memory of his past, selling books on the street for spare change, and yet this stranger was treating him with kindness and respect.

        “Thank you,” he said softly his voice barely audible, “I really appreciate this.”

        The woman shrugged and smiled again. “It’s no trouble at all. I think it’s nice to just take a break and chat with someone for a while. It can get lonely in this city sometimes.”

        Tibu nodded in agreement. “I know what you mean. I feel like a stranger in my own life sometimes.”

        The woman’s expression softened. “That must be hard. But you know, sometimes it’s good to start over. You can be whoever you want to be, do whatever you want to do. It’s like a second chance.”

        As they continued their conversation, a crumpled torn piece of newspaper caught Tibu’s eye, lodged in a nearby gutter. The headline mentioned a job fair happening the next day, an opportunity for people to find new careers. An idea began to form in his mind – attending the job fair could be his first step in creating a new life.

        Tibu looked at the woman, still struck by her earlier words. It was a new way of thinking for him. Maybe he didn’t have to be defined by his past or his amnesia. Maybe he could create a new life for himself, with new people and new experiences.

        “Thank you,” he said again, feeling a newfound sense of hope. “You’ve given me a lot to think about.”

        The woman smiled and finished her tea. “Well, I should probably get back to work. But it was nice talking to you. Maybe I’ll see you around. I’m Lorena, by the way.”

        Tibu nodded and watched her walk away, feeling a warmth in his chest. Maybe things weren’t so hopeless after all. Maybe he could create a new life for himself; he checked the crumbled paper; his decision was made; armed with renewed purpose, he’d resolved to attend the job fair.

        Of course, he’d need to prepare, sort out stuff…

        He looked down at the book in his hand and smiled. For now, he had Lord Gustard Willoughby Fergusson to keep him company and inspire him about acts of bravery and embrace with gusto the great leap into the unknown.

        #6615

        In reply to: Orbs of Madjourneys

        Like ships in the night, Zara and Yasmin still hadn’t met up with Xavier and Youssef at the inn. Yasmin was tired from traveling and retired to her room to catch up on some sleep, despite Zara’s hopes that they’d have a glass of wine or two and discuss whatever it was that was on Yasmins mind.  Zara decided to catch up on her game.

        The next quirk was “unleash your hidden rudeness” which gave Zara pause to consider how hidden her rudeness actually was.  But wait, it was the avatar Zara, not herself. Or was it?   Zara rearranged the pillows and settled herself on the bed.

        Zara found her game self in the bustling streets of a medieval market town, visually an improvement on the previous game level of the mines, which pleased her, with many colourful characters and intriguing alleyways and street market vendors.

        Madieval market

        She quickly forgot what her quest was and set off wandering around the scene.  Each alley led to a little square and each square had gaily coloured carts of wares for sale, and an abundance of grinning jesters and jugglers. Although tempted to linger and join the onlookers jeering and goading the jugglers and artistes that she encountered, Zara continued her ramble around the scene.

        She came to a gathering outside an old market hall, where two particularly raucous jesters were trying to tempt the onlookers into partaking of what appeared to be cups of tea.  Zara wondered what the joke was and why nobody in the crowd was willing to try.  She inched closer, attracting the attention of the odd grinning fellow in the orange head piece.

        Jesters with cups

         

        “Come hither, ye fine wench in thy uncomely scant garments, I know what thou seekest! Pray, sit thee down beside me and partake of my remedy.”

        “Who, me?” asked Zara, looking behind her to make sure he wasn’t talking to someone else.

        “Thoust in dire need of my elixir, come ye hither!”

        Somewhat reluctantly Zara stepped towards the odd figure who was offering to hand her a cup.  She considered the inadvisability of drinking something that everyone else was refusing, but what the hell, she took the cup and saucer off him and took a hesitant sip.

        The crowd roared with laughter and there was much mirthful thigh slapping when Zara spit the foul tasting concoction all over the jesters shoes.

        “Believe me dame,” quoth the Jester, “I perceive proffered ware is worse by ten in the hundred than that which is sought. But I pray ye, tell me thy quest.”

        “My quest is none of your business, and your tea sucks, mister,” Zara replied. “But I like the cup.”

        Pushing past the still laughing onlookers and clutching the cup, Zara spotted a tavern on the opposite side of the square and made her way towards it.   A tankard of ale was what she needed to get rid of the foul taste lingering in her mouth.

        jesters cup tavern

         

        The inside of the tavern was as much a madhouse as the streets outside it. What was everyone laughing at? Zara found a place to sit on a bench beside a long wooden table. She sat patiently waiting to be served, trying to eavesdrop to decipher the cause of such merriment, but the snatches of conversation made no sense to her. The jollity was contagious, and before long Zara was laughing along with the others.  A strange child sat down on the opposite bench (she seemed familiar somehow) and Zara couldn’t help remarking, “You lot are as mad as a box of frogs, are you all on drugs or something?” which provoked further hoots of laughter, thigh slapping and table thumping.

        tavern girl

         

        “Ye be an ungodly rude maid, and ye’ll not get a tankard of ale while thoust leavest thy cup of elixir untasted yet,” the child said with a smirk.

        “And you are an impertinent child,” Zara replied, considering the potential benefits of drinking the remainder of the concoction if it would hasten the arrival of the tankard of ale she was now craving.  She gritted her teeth and picked up the cup.

        But the design on the cup had changed, and now bore a strange resemblance to Xavier.  Not only that, the cup was calling her name in Xavier’s voice, and the table thumping got louder.

        Xavi cup

         

        Zara!” Xavier was knocking on her bedroom door. “Zara!  We’re going for a beer in the local tavern, are you coming?”

        “Xavi!”  Zara snapped back to reality, “Yes! I’m bloody parched.”

        #6544

        In reply to: Orbs of Madjourneys

        Despite the late night and the abundance of wine, Zara awoke just after 6am as the sun was rising. It was too early to get up, but she desperately wanted a coffee. There was no sign of room service being available so she made her way quietly to the kitchen, hoping that someone would be up.

        The strange child called Prune was sitting at the kitchen table eating rice crispies.

        “Your friends are here,” she said, “But they went to bed before you came back. Late, weren’t you?  Bert was cussing about you, you know, not letting him know.”

        “Oh, terribly sorry,” Zara thought the child a tad impertinent.  And was it really Bert’s place to be cussing about her, she was a guest after all.  “Any chance of a cup of coffee?  I’ll make it myself if you tell me where the things are.”

        Aunt Idle wasn’t bothered though,” Prune said, wiping some milk that had dribbled down her chin with the back of her hand.   “But Bert said he didn’t want you to find it.”

        “Find what?”  The parrot had said the same thing.

        “OBVIOUSLY I can’t tell you, can I? It’s a secret,” and with that Prune scraped her chair back, leaving her breakfast things on the table, and sauntered out of the kitchen in what could only be described as a cocky manner.  Zara found what she needed to make coffee and made two cups and took them both back to her room.  She had a couple of hours to play the game before breakfast and the reunion with her friends.

        #6486

        In reply to: Orbs of Madjourneys

        Zara took dozens of screenshots of the many etchings and drawings, as her game character paused to do the same.  She had lost sight of the two figures up ahead, and remembered she probably should have been following them.

        The tunnel came to a four way junction. There were drawings on the walls and floors of all of them, and a dim light coming from a distance in each. One was more brightly lit than the others, and Zara chose to explore that one first.  Presently a side room appeared, with green tiles on the floor similar to the one at the mine entrance. Daylight shone though a small window, and a diagram was drawn onto the wall.

        Zara toyed with the idea of simply climbing out through the window while there was still a chance to get out of the mine.  She knew she was lost and would not be able to find her way out the way she came. It was tempting, but she just took a screenshot.  Maybe when she looked at them later she’d be able to work out how to retrace her steps.

        Zara room of tiles window

        After recording the image of the room of tiles, Zara continued along the tunnel. The light shining from the little window in the tile room faded as she progressed, and she found herself once again in near darkness.  She came to a fork.  Both ways were equally gloomy, but a faint blue light enticed her to take the right hand tunnel.

        So many forks and side tunnels, I am surely completely lost now! And not one of these supposed maps is helping, I can’t decipher any of them. Another etching on the wall caught her eye, and Zara forgot about being lost.

        Zara stopped to look at what appeared to be a map on the tunnel wall, but it was unfathomable at this stage. She recorded it for future reference, and then looked around, unsure whether to continue on this path or retrace her stops back to the four way junction.  And then she saw him in an alcove.

        Osnas 2

        Osnas! This time Zara did say it out loud, and just as the frog faced stewardess was passing with her cart piled with used cups and cans and empty packets.  I swear she just winked at me!  Zara did a double take, but the cart and the woman had passed, collecting more rubbish.

        With a little smile, Zara noticed that the mask Osnas was wearing was one of those paper pandemic masks.  She had expected something a bit more Venice carnival when the prompt mentioned that he always wore a mask, not one of those.  She hoped the clue in this case wasn’t the mask, as she had avoided the plague successfully so far and didn’t want to be late to that particular party,  but the square green thing on his cart resembled the tile at the mine entrance.  What do I do now though? I still don’t know what any of these things mean.  Approach him and see if he speaks I suppose.

        “Ladies and gentlemen, we are now approaching Alice Springs, please fasten your seatbelts and switch off all your devices ready for landing.  We hope you have enjoyed your flight.”

        #6260
        TracyTracy
        Participant

          From Tanganyika with Love

          With thanks to Mike Rushby.

          • “The letters of Eleanor Dunbar Leslie to her parents and her sister in South Africa
            concerning her life with George Gilman Rushby of Tanganyika, and the trials and
            joys of bringing up a family in pioneering conditions.

          These letters were transcribed from copies of letters typed by Eleanor Rushby from
          the originals which were in the estate of Marjorie Leslie, Eleanor’s sister. Eleanor
          kept no diary of her life in Tanganyika, so these letters were the living record of an
          important part of her life.

          Prelude
          Having walked across Africa from the East coast to Ubangi Shauri Chad
          in French Equatorial Africa, hunting elephant all the way, George Rushby
          made his way down the Congo to Leopoldville. He then caught a ship to
          Europe and had a holiday in Brussels and Paris before visiting his family
          in England. He developed blackwater fever and was extremely ill for a
          while. When he recovered he went to London to arrange his return to
          Africa.

          Whilst staying at the Overseas Club he met Eileen Graham who had come
          to England from Cape Town to study music. On hearing that George was
          sailing for Cape Town she arranged to introduce him to her friend
          Eleanor Dunbar Leslie. “You’ll need someone lively to show you around,”
          she said. “She’s as smart as paint, a keen mountaineer, a very good school
          teacher, and she’s attractive. You can’t miss her, because her father is a
          well known Cape Town Magistrate. And,” she added “I’ve already written
          and told her what ship you are arriving on.”

          Eleanor duly met the ship. She and George immediately fell in love.
          Within thirty six hours he had proposed marriage and was accepted
          despite the misgivings of her parents. As she was under contract to her
          High School, she remained in South Africa for several months whilst
          George headed for Tanganyika looking for a farm where he could build
          their home.

          These details are a summary of chapter thirteen of the Biography of
          George Gilman Rushby ‘The Hunter is Death “ by T.V.Bulpin.

           

          Dearest Marj,
          Terrifically exciting news! I’ve just become engaged to an Englishman whom I
          met last Monday. The result is a family upheaval which you will have no difficulty in
          imagining!!

          The Aunts think it all highly romantic and cry in delight “Now isn’t that just like our
          El!” Mummy says she doesn’t know what to think, that anyway I was always a harum
          scarum and she rather expected something like this to happen. However I know that
          she thinks George highly attractive. “Such a nice smile and gentle manner, and such
          good hands“ she murmurs appreciatively. “But WHY AN ELEPHANT HUNTER?” she
          ends in a wail, as though elephant hunting was an unmentionable profession.
          Anyway I don’t think so. Anyone can marry a bank clerk or a lawyer or even a
          millionaire – but whoever heard of anyone marrying anyone as exciting as an elephant
          hunter? I’m thrilled to bits.

          Daddy also takes a dim view of George’s profession, and of George himself as
          a husband for me. He says that I am so impulsive and have such wild enthusiasms that I
          need someone conservative and steady to give me some serenity and some ballast.
          Dad says George is a handsome fellow and a good enough chap he is sure, but
          he is obviously a man of the world and hints darkly at a possible PAST. George says
          he has nothing of the kind and anyway I’m the first girl he has asked to marry him. I don’t
          care anyway, I’d gladly marry him tomorrow, but Dad has other ideas.

          He sat in his armchair to deliver his verdict, wearing the same look he must wear
          on the bench. If we marry, and he doesn’t think it would be a good thing, George must
          buy a comfortable house for me in Central Africa where I can stay safely when he goes
          hunting. I interrupted to say “But I’m going too”, but dad snubbed me saying that in no
          time at all I’ll have a family and one can’t go dragging babies around in the African Bush.”
          George takes his lectures with surprising calm. He says he can see Dad’s point of
          view much better than I can. He told the parents today that he plans to buy a small
          coffee farm in the Southern Highlands of Tanganyika and will build a cosy cottage which
          will be a proper home for both of us, and that he will only hunt occasionally to keep the
          pot boiling.

          Mummy, of course, just had to spill the beans. She said to George, “I suppose
          you know that Eleanor knows very little about house keeping and can’t cook at all.” a fact
          that I was keeping a dark secret. But George just said, “Oh she won’t have to work. The
          boys do all that sort of thing. She can lie on a couch all day and read if she likes.” Well
          you always did say that I was a “Lily of the field,” and what a good thing! If I were one of
          those terribly capable women I’d probably die of frustration because it seems that
          African house boys feel that they have lost face if their Memsahibs do anything but the
          most gracious chores.

          George is absolutely marvellous. He is strong and gentle and awfully good
          looking too. He is about 5 ft 10 ins tall and very broad. He wears his curly brown hair cut
          very short and has a close clipped moustache. He has strongly marked eyebrows and
          very striking blue eyes which sometimes turn grey or green. His teeth are strong and
          even and he has a quiet voice.

          I expect all this sounds too good to be true, but come home quickly and see for
          yourself. George is off to East Africa in three weeks time to buy our farm. I shall follow as
          soon as he has bought it and we will be married in Dar es Salaam.

          Dad has taken George for a walk “to get to know him” and that’s why I have time
          to write such a long screed. They should be back any minute now and I must fly and
          apply a bit of glamour.

          Much love my dear,
          your jubilant
          Eleanor

          S.S.Timavo. Durban. 28th.October. 1930.

          Dearest Family,
          Thank you for the lovely send off. I do wish you were all on board with me and
          could come and dance with me at my wedding. We are having a very comfortable
          voyage. There were only four of the passengers as far as Durban, all of them women,
          but I believe we are taking on more here. I have a most comfortable deck cabin to
          myself and the use of a sumptuous bathroom. No one is interested in deck games and I
          am having a lazy time, just sunbathing and reading.

          I sit at the Captain’s table and the meals are delicious – beautifully served. The
          butter for instance, is moulded into sprays of roses, most exquisitely done, and as for
          the ice-cream, I’ve never tasted anything like them.

          The meals are continental type and we have hors d’oeuvre in a great variety
          served on large round trays. The Italians souse theirs with oil, Ugh! We also of course
          get lots of spaghetti which I have some difficulty in eating. However this presents no
          problem to the Chief Engineer who sits opposite to me. He simply rolls it around his
          fork and somehow the spaghetti flows effortlessly from fork to mouth exactly like an
          ascending escalator. Wine is served at lunch and dinner – very mild and pleasant stuff.
          Of the women passengers the one i liked best was a young German widow
          from South west Africa who left the ship at East London to marry a man she had never
          met. She told me he owned a drapers shop and she was very happy at the prospect
          of starting a new life, as her previous marriage had ended tragically with the death of her
          husband and only child in an accident.

          I was most interested to see the bridegroom and stood at the rail beside the gay
          young widow when we docked at East London. I picked him out, without any difficulty,
          from the small group on the quay. He was a tall thin man in a smart grey suit and with a
          grey hat perched primly on his head. You can always tell from hats can’t you? I wasn’t
          surprised to see, when this German raised his head, that he looked just like the Kaiser’s
          “Little Willie”. Long thin nose and cold grey eyes and no smile of welcome on his tight
          mouth for the cheery little body beside me. I quite expected him to jerk his thumb and
          stalk off, expecting her to trot at his heel.

          However she went off blithely enough. Next day before the ship sailed, she
          was back and I saw her talking to the Captain. She began to cry and soon after the
          Captain patted her on the shoulder and escorted her to the gangway. Later the Captain
          told me that the girl had come to ask him to allow her to work her passage back to
          Germany where she had some relations. She had married the man the day before but
          she disliked him because he had deceived her by pretending that he owned a shop
          whereas he was only a window dresser. Bad show for both.

          The Captain and the Chief Engineer are the only officers who mix socially with
          the passengers. The captain seems rather a melancholy type with, I should say, no
          sense of humour. He speaks fair English with an American accent. He tells me that he
          was on the San Francisco run during Prohibition years in America and saw many Film
          Stars chiefly “under the influence” as they used to flock on board to drink. The Chief
          Engineer is big and fat and cheerful. His English is anything but fluent but he makes up
          for it in mime.

          I visited the relations and friends at Port Elizabeth and East London, and here at
          Durban. I stayed with the Trotters and Swans and enjoyed myself very much at both
          places. I have collected numerous wedding presents, china and cutlery, coffee
          percolator and ornaments, and where I shall pack all these things I don’t know. Everyone has been terribly kind and I feel extremely well and happy.

          At the start of the voyage I had a bit of bad luck. You will remember that a
          perfectly foul South Easter was blowing. Some men were busy working on a deck
          engine and I stopped to watch and a tiny fragment of steel blew into my eye. There is
          no doctor on board so the stewardess put some oil into the eye and bandaged it up.
          The eye grew more and more painful and inflamed and when when we reached Port
          Elizabeth the Captain asked the Port Doctor to look at it. The Doctor said it was a job for
          an eye specialist and telephoned from the ship to make an appointment. Luckily for me,
          Vincent Tofts turned up at the ship just then and took me off to the specialist and waited
          whilst he extracted the fragment with a giant magnet. The specialist said that I was very
          lucky as the thing just missed the pupil of my eye so my sight will not be affected. I was
          temporarily blinded by the Belladona the eye-man put in my eye so he fitted me with a
          pair of black goggles and Vincent escorted me back to the ship. Don’t worry the eye is
          now as good as ever and George will not have to take a one-eyed bride for better or
          worse.

          I have one worry and that is that the ship is going to be very much overdue by
          the time we reach Dar es Salaam. She is taking on a big wool cargo and we were held
          up for three days in East london and have been here in Durban for five days.
          Today is the ninth Anniversary of the Fascist Movement and the ship was
          dressed with bunting and flags. I must now go and dress for the gala dinner.

          Bless you all,
          Eleanor.

          S.S.Timavo. 6th. November 1930

          Dearest Family,

          Nearly there now. We called in at Lourenco Marques, Beira, Mozambique and
          Port Amelia. I was the only one of the original passengers left after Durban but there we
          took on a Mrs Croxford and her mother and two men passengers. Mrs C must have
          something, certainly not looks. She has a flat figure, heavily mascared eyes and crooked
          mouth thickly coated with lipstick. But her rather sweet old mother-black-pearls-type tells
          me they are worn out travelling around the world trying to shake off an admirer who
          pursues Mrs C everywhere.

          The one male passenger is very quiet and pleasant. The old lady tells me that he
          has recently lost his wife. The other passenger is a horribly bumptious type.
          I had my hair beautifully shingled at Lourenco Marques, but what an experience it
          was. Before we docked I asked the Captain whether he knew of a hairdresser, but he
          said he did not and would have to ask the agent when he came aboard. The agent was
          a very suave Asian. He said “Sure he did” and offered to take me in his car. I rather
          doubtfully agreed — such a swarthy gentleman — and was driven, not to a hairdressing
          establishment, but to his office. Then he spoke to someone on the telephone and in no
          time at all a most dago-y type arrived carrying a little black bag. He was all patent
          leather, hair, and flashing smile, and greeted me like an old and valued friend.
          Before I had collected my scattered wits tthe Agent had flung open a door and
          ushered me through, and I found myself seated before an ornate mirror in what was only
          too obviously a bedroom. It was a bedroom with a difference though. The unmade bed
          had no legs but hung from the ceiling on brass chains.

          The agent beamingly shut the door behind him and I was left with my imagination
          and the afore mentioned oily hairdresser. He however was very business like. Before I
          could say knife he had shingled my hair with a cut throat razor and then, before I could
          protest, had smothered my neck in stinking pink powder applied with an enormous and
          filthy swansdown powder puff. He held up a mirror for me to admire his handiwork but I
          was aware only of the enormous bed reflected in it, and hurriedly murmuring “very nice,
          very nice” I made my escape to the outer office where, to my relief, I found the Chief
          Engineer who escorted me back to the ship.

          In the afternoon Mrs Coxford and the old lady and I hired a taxi and went to the
          Polana Hotel for tea. Very swish but I like our Cape Peninsula beaches better.
          At Lorenco Marques we took on more passengers. The Governor of
          Portuguese Nyasaland and his wife and baby son. He was a large middle aged man,
          very friendly and unassuming and spoke perfect English. His wife was German and
          exquisite, as fragile looking and with the delicate colouring of a Dresden figurine. She
          looked about 18 but she told me she was 28 and showed me photographs of two
          other sons – hefty youngsters, whom she had left behind in Portugal and was missing
          very much.

          It was frightfully hot at Beira and as I had no money left I did not go up to the
          town, but Mrs Croxford and I spent a pleasant hour on the beach under the Casurina
          trees.

          The Governor and his wife left the ship at Mozambique. He looked very
          imposing in his starched uniform and she more Dresden Sheperdish than ever in a
          flowered frock. There was a guard of honour and all the trimmings. They bade me a warm farewell and invited George and me to stay at any time.

          The German ship “Watussi” was anchored in the Bay and I decided to visit her
          and try and have my hair washed and set. I had no sooner stepped on board when a
          lady came up to me and said “Surely you are Beeba Leslie.” It was Mrs Egan and she
          had Molly with her. Considering Mrs Egan had not seen me since I was five I think it was
          jolly clever of her to recognise me. Molly is charming and was most friendly. She fixed
          things with the hairdresser and sat with me until the job was done. Afterwards I had tea
          with them.

          Port Amelia was our last stop. In fact the only person to go ashore was Mr
          Taylor, the unpleasant man, and he returned at sunset very drunk indeed.
          We reached Port Amelia on the 3rd – my birthday. The boat had anchored by
          the time I was dressed and when I went on deck I saw several row boats cluttered
          around the gangway and in them were natives with cages of wild birds for sale. Such tiny
          crowded cages. I was furious, you know me. I bought three cages, carried them out on
          to the open deck and released the birds. I expected them to fly to the land but they flew
          straight up into the rigging.

          The quiet male passenger wandered up and asked me what I was doing. I said
          “I’m giving myself a birthday treat, I hate to see caged birds.” So next thing there he
          was buying birds which he presented to me with “Happy Birthday.” I gladly set those
          birds free too and they joined the others in the rigging.

          Then a grinning steward came up with three more cages. “For the lady with
          compliments of the Captain.” They lost no time in joining their friends.
          It had given me so much pleasure to free the birds that I was only a little
          discouraged when the quiet man said thoughtfully “This should encourage those bird
          catchers you know, they are sold out. When evening came and we were due to sail I
          was sure those birds would fly home, but no, they are still there and they will probably
          remain until we dock at Dar es Salaam.

          During the morning the Captain came up and asked me what my Christian name
          is. He looked as grave as ever and I couldn’t think why it should interest him but said “the
          name is Eleanor.” That night at dinner there was a large iced cake in the centre of the
          table with “HELENA” in a delicate wreath of pink icing roses on the top. We had
          champagne and everyone congratulated me and wished me good luck in my marriage.
          A very nice gesture don’t you think. The unpleasant character had not put in an
          appearance at dinner which made the party all the nicer

          I sat up rather late in the lounge reading a book and by the time I went to bed
          there was not a soul around. I bathed and changed into my nighty,walked into my cabin,
          shed my dressing gown, and pottered around. When I was ready for bed I put out my
          hand to draw the curtains back and a hand grasped my wrist. It was that wretched
          creature outside my window on the deck, still very drunk. Luckily I was wearing that
          heavy lilac silk nighty. I was livid. “Let go at once”, I said, but he only grinned stupidly.
          “I’m not hurting you” he said, “only looking”. “I’ll ring for the steward” said I, and by
          stretching I managed to press the bell with my free hand. I rang and rang but no one
          came and he just giggled. Then I said furiously, “Remember this name, George
          Rushby, he is a fine boxer and he hates specimens like you. When he meets me at Dar
          es Salaam I shall tell him about this and I bet you will be sorry.” However he still held on
          so I turned and knocked hard on the adjoining wall which divided my cabin from Mrs
          Croxfords. Soon Mrs Croxford and the old lady appeared in dressing gowns . This
          seemed to amuse the drunk even more though he let go my wrist. So whilst the old
          lady stayed with me, Mrs C fetched the quiet passenger who soon hustled him off. He has kept out of my way ever since. However I still mean to tell George because I feel
          the fellow got off far too lightly. I reported the matter to the Captain but he just remarked
          that he always knew the man was low class because he never wears a jacket to meals.
          This is my last night on board and we again had free champagne and I was given
          some tooled leather work by the Captain and a pair of good paste earrings by the old
          lady. I have invited them and Mrs Croxford, the Chief Engineer, and the quiet
          passenger to the wedding.

          This may be my last night as Eleanor Leslie and I have spent this long while
          writing to you just as a little token of my affection and gratitude for all the years of your
          love and care. I shall post this letter on the ship and must turn now and get some beauty
          sleep. We have been told that we shall be in Dar es Salaam by 9 am. I am so excited
          that I shall not sleep.

          Very much love, and just for fun I’ll sign my full name for the last time.
          with my “bes respeks”,

          Eleanor Leslie.

          Eleanor and George Rushby:

          Eleanor and George Rushby

          Splendid Hotel, Dar es Salaam 11th November 1930

          Dearest Family,

          I’m writing this in the bedroom whilst George is out buying a tin trunk in which to
          pack all our wedding presents. I expect he will be gone a long time because he has
          gone out with Hicky Wood and, though our wedding was four days ago, it’s still an
          excuse for a party. People are all very cheery and friendly here.
          I am wearing only pants and slip but am still hot. One swelters here in the
          mornings, but a fresh sea breeze blows in the late afternoons and then Dar es Salaam is
          heavenly.

          We arrived in Dar es Salaam harbour very early on Friday morning (7 th Nov).
          The previous night the Captain had said we might not reach Dar. until 9 am, and certainly
          no one would be allowed on board before 8 am. So I dawdled on the deck in my
          dressing gown and watched the green coastline and the islands slipping by. I stood on
          the deck outside my cabin and was not aware that I was looking out at the wrong side of
          the landlocked harbour. Quite unknown to me George and some friends, the Hickson
          Woods, were standing on the Gymkhana Beach on the opposite side of the channel
          anxiously scanning the ship for a sign of me. George says he had a horrible idea I had
          missed the ship. Blissfully unconscious of his anxiety I wandered into the bathroom
          prepared for a good soak. The anchor went down when I was in the bath and suddenly
          there was a sharp wrap on the door and I heard Mrs Croxford say “There’s a man in a
          boat outside. He is looking out for someone and I’m sure it’s your George. I flung on
          some clothes and rushed on deck with tousled hair and bare feet and it was George.
          We had a marvellous reunion. George was wearing shorts and bush shirt and
          looked just like the strong silent types one reads about in novels. I finished dressing then
          George helped me bundle all the wedding presents I had collected en route into my
          travelling rug and we went into the bar lounge to join the Hickson Woods. They are the
          couple from whom George bought the land which is to be our coffee farm Hicky-Wood
          was laughing when we joined them. he said he had called a chap to bring a couple of
          beers thinking he was the steward but it turned out to be the Captain. He does wear
          such a very plain uniform that I suppose it was easy to make the mistake, but Hicky
          says he was not amused.

          Anyway as the H-W’s are to be our neighbours I’d better describe them. Kath
          Wood is very attractive, dark Irish, with curly black hair and big brown eyes. She was
          married before to Viv Lumb a great friend of George’s who died some years ago of
          blackwater fever. They had one little girl, Maureen, and Kath and Hicky have a small son
          of three called Michael. Hicky is slightly below average height and very neat and dapper
          though well built. He is a great one for a party and good fun but George says he can be
          bad tempered.

          Anyway we all filed off the ship and Hicky and Cath went on to the hotel whilst
          George and I went through customs. Passing the customs was easy. Everyone
          seemed to know George and that it was his wedding day and I just sailed through,
          except for the little matter of the rug coming undone when George and I had to scramble
          on the floor for candlesticks and fruit knives and a wooden nut bowl.
          Outside the customs shed we were mobbed by a crowd of jabbering Africans
          offering their services as porters, and soon my luggage was piled in one rickshaw whilst
          George and I climbed into another and we were born smoothly away on rubber shod
          wheels to the Splendid Hotel. The motion was pleasing enough but it seemed weird to
          be pulled along by one human being whilst another pushed behind.  We turned up a street called Acacia Avenue which, as its name implies, is lined
          with flamboyant acacia trees now in the full glory of scarlet and gold. The rickshaw
          stopped before the Splendid Hotel and I was taken upstairs into a pleasant room which
          had its own private balcony overlooking the busy street.

          Here George broke the news that we were to be married in less than an hours
          time. He would have to dash off and change and then go straight to the church. I would
          be quite all right, Kath would be looking in and friends would fetch me.
          I started to dress and soon there was a tap at the door and Mrs Hickson-Wood
          came in with my bouquet. It was a lovely bunch of carnations and frangipani with lots of
          asparagus fern and it went well with my primrose yellow frock. She admired my frock
          and Leghorn hat and told me that her little girl Maureen was to be my flower girl. Then
          she too left for the church.

          I was fully dressed when there was another knock on the door and I opened it to
          be confronted by a Police Officer in a starched white uniform. I’m McCallum”, he said,
          “I’ve come to drive you to the church.” Downstairs he introduced me to a big man in a
          tussore silk suit. “This is Dr Shicore”, said McCallum, “He is going to give you away.”
          Honestly, I felt exactly like Alice in Wonderland. Wouldn’t have been at all surprised if
          the White Rabbit had popped up and said he was going to be my page.

          I walked out of the hotel and across the pavement in a dream and there, by the
          curb, was a big dark blue police car decorated with white ribbons and with a tall African
          Police Ascari holding the door open for me. I had hardly time to wonder what next when
          the car drew up before a tall German looking church. It was in fact the Lutheran Church in
          the days when Tanganyika was German East Africa.

          Mrs Hickson-Wood, very smart in mushroom coloured georgette and lace, and
          her small daughter were waiting in the porch, so in we went. I was glad to notice my
          friends from the boat sitting behind George’s friends who were all complete strangers to
          me. The aisle seemed very long but at last I reached George waiting in the chancel with
          Hicky-Wood, looking unfamiliar in a smart tussore suit. However this feeling of unreality
          passed when he turned his head and smiled at me.

          In the vestry after the ceremony I was kissed affectionately by several complete
          strangers and I felt happy and accepted by George’s friends. Outside the church,
          standing apart from the rest of the guests, the Italian Captain and Chief Engineer were
          waiting. They came up and kissed my hand, and murmured felicitations, but regretted
          they could not spare the time to come to the reception. Really it was just as well
          because they would not have fitted in at all well.

          Dr Shircore is the Director of Medical Services and he had very kindly lent his
          large house for the reception. It was quite a party. The guests were mainly men with a
          small sprinkling of wives. Champagne corks popped and there was an enormous cake
          and soon voices were raised in song. The chief one was ‘Happy Days Are Here Again’
          and I shall remember it for ever.

          The party was still in full swing when George and I left. The old lady from the ship
          enjoyed it hugely. She came in an all black outfit with a corsage of artificial Lily-of-the-
          Valley. Later I saw one of the men wearing the corsage in his buttonhole and the old
          lady was wearing a carnation.

          When George and I got back to the hotel,I found that my luggage had been
          moved to George’s room by his cook Lamek, who was squatting on his haunches and
          clapped his hands in greeting. My dears, you should see Lamek – exactly like a
          chimpanzee – receding forehead, wide flat nose, and long lip, and such splayed feet. It was quite a strain not to laugh, especially when he produced a gift for me. I have not yet
          discovered where he acquired it. It was a faded mauve straw toque of the kind worn by
          Queen Mary. I asked George to tell Lamek that I was touched by his generosity but felt
          that I could not accept his gift. He did not mind at all especially as George gave him a
          generous tip there and then.

          I changed into a cotton frock and shady straw hat and George changed into shorts
          and bush shirt once more. We then sneaked into the dining room for lunch avoiding our
          wedding guests who were carrying on the party in the lounge.

          After lunch we rejoined them and they all came down to the jetty to wave goodbye
          as we set out by motor launch for Honeymoon Island. I enjoyed the launch trip very
          much. The sea was calm and very blue and the palm fringed beaches of Dar es Salaam
          are as romantic as any bride could wish. There are small coral islands dotted around the
          Bay of which Honeymoon Island is the loveliest. I believe at one time it bore the less
          romantic name of Quarantine Island. Near the Island, in the shallows, the sea is brilliant
          green and I saw two pink jellyfish drifting by.

          There is no jetty on the island so the boat was stopped in shallow water and
          George carried me ashore. I was enchanted with the Island and in no hurry to go to the
          bungalow, so George and I took our bathing costumes from our suitcases and sent the
          luggage up to the house together with a box of provisions.

          We bathed and lazed on the beach and suddenly it was sunset and it began to
          get dark. We walked up the beach to the bungalow and began to unpack the stores,
          tea, sugar, condensed milk, bread and butter, sardines and a large tin of ham. There
          were also cups and saucers and plates and cutlery.

          We decided to have an early meal and George called out to the caretaker, “Boy
          letta chai”. Thereupon the ‘boy’ materialised and jabbered to George in Ki-Swaheli. It
          appeared he had no utensil in which to boil water. George, ever resourceful, removed
          the ham from the tin and gave him that. We had our tea all right but next day the ham
          was bad.

          Then came bed time. I took a hurricane lamp in one hand and my suitcase in the
          other and wandered into the bedroom whilst George vanished into the bathroom. To
          my astonishment I saw two perfectly bare iron bedsteads – no mattress or pillows. We
          had brought sheets and mosquito nets but, believe me, they are a poor substitute for a
          mattress.

          Anyway I arrayed myself in my pale yellow satin nightie and sat gingerly down
          on the iron edge of the bed to await my groom who eventually appeared in a
          handsome suit of silk pyjamas. His expression, as he took in the situation, was too much
          for me and I burst out laughing and so did he.

          Somewhere in the small hours I woke up. The breeze had dropped and the
          room was unbearably stuffy. I felt as dry as a bone. The lamp had been turned very
          low and had gone out, but I remembered seeing a water tank in the yard and I decided
          to go out in the dark and drink from the tap. In the dark I could not find my slippers so I
          slipped my feet into George’s shoes, picked up his matches and groped my way out
          of the room. I found the tank all right and with one hand on the tap and one cupped for
          water I stooped to drink. Just then I heard a scratchy noise and sensed movements
          around my feet. I struck a match and oh horrors! found that the damp spot on which I was
          standing was alive with white crabs. In my hurry to escape I took a clumsy step, put
          George’s big toe on the hem of my nightie and down I went on top of the crabs. I need
          hardly say that George was awakened by an appalling shriek and came rushing to my
          aid like a knight of old.  Anyway, alarms and excursions not withstanding, we had a wonderful weekend on the island and I was sorry to return to the heat of Dar es Salaam, though the evenings
          here are lovely and it is heavenly driving along the coast road by car or in a rickshaw.
          I was surprised to find so many Indians here. Most of the shops, large and small,
          seem to be owned by Indians and the place teems with them. The women wear
          colourful saris and their hair in long black plaits reaching to their waists. Many wear baggy
          trousers of silk or satin. They give a carnival air to the sea front towards sunset.
          This long letter has been written in instalments throughout the day. My first break
          was when I heard the sound of a band and rushed to the balcony in time to see The
          Kings African Rifles band and Askaris march down the Avenue on their way to an
          Armistice Memorial Service. They looked magnificent.

          I must end on a note of most primitive pride. George returned from his shopping
          expedition and beamingly informed me that he had thrashed the man who annoyed me
          on the ship. I felt extremely delighted and pressed for details. George told me that
          when he went out shopping he noticed to his surprise that the ‘Timavo” was still in the
          harbour. He went across to the Agents office and there saw a man who answered to the
          description I had given. George said to him “Is your name Taylor?”, and when he said
          “yes”, George said “Well my name is George Rushby”, whereupon he hit Taylor on the
          jaw so that he sailed over the counter and down the other side. Very satisfactory, I feel.
          With much love to all.

          Your cave woman
          Eleanor.

          Mchewe Estate. P.O. Mbeya 22 November 1930

          Dearest Family,

          Well here we are at our Country Seat, Mchewe Estate. (pronounced
          Mn,-che’-we) but I will start at the beginning of our journey and describe the farm later.
          We left the hotel at Dar es Salaam for the station in a taxi crowded with baggage
          and at the last moment Keith Wood ran out with the unwrapped bottom layer of our
          wedding cake. It remained in its naked state from there to here travelling for two days in
          the train on the luggage rack, four days in the car on my knee, reposing at night on the
          roof of the car exposed to the winds of Heaven, and now rests beside me in the tent
          looking like an old old tombstone. We have no tin large enough to hold it and one
          simply can’t throw away ones wedding cake so, as George does not eat cake, I can see
          myself eating wedding cake for tea for months to come, ants permitting.

          We travelled up by train from Dar to Dodoma, first through the lush vegetation of
          the coastal belt to Morogoro, then through sisal plantations now very overgrown with
          weeds owing to the slump in prices, and then on to the arid area around Dodoma. This
          part of the country is very dry at this time of the year and not unlike parts of our Karoo.
          The train journey was comfortable enough but slow as the engines here are fed with
          wood and not coal as in South Africa.

          Dodoma is the nearest point on the railway to Mbeya so we left the train there to
          continue our journey by road. We arrived at the one and only hotel in the early hours and
          whilst someone went to rout out the night watchman the rest of us sat on the dismal
          verandah amongst a litter of broken glass. Some bright spark remarked on the obvious –
          that there had been a party the night before.

          When we were shown to a room I thought I rather preferred the verandah,
          because the beds had not yet been made up and there was a bucket of vomit beside
          the old fashioned washstand. However George soon got the boys to clean up the
          room and I fell asleep to be awakened by George with an invitation to come and see
          our car before breakfast.

          Yes, we have our own car. It is a Chev, with what is called a box body. That
          means that sides, roof and doors are made by a local Indian carpenter. There is just the
          one front seat with a kapok mattress on it. The tools are kept in a sort of cupboard fixed
          to the side so there is a big space for carrying “safari kit” behind the cab seat.
          Lamek, who had travelled up on the same train, appeared after breakfast, and
          helped George to pack all our luggage into the back of the car. Besides our suitcases
          there was a huge bedroll, kitchen utensils and a box of provisions, tins of petrol and
          water and all Lamek’s bits and pieces which included three chickens in a wicker cage and
          an enormous bunch of bananas about 3 ft long.

          When all theses things were packed there remained only a small space between
          goods and ceiling and into this Lamek squeezed. He lay on his back with his horny feet a
          mere inch or so from the back of my head. In this way we travelled 400 miles over
          bumpy earth roads and crude pole bridges, but whenever we stopped for a meal
          Lamek wriggled out and, like Aladdin’s genie, produced good meals in no time at all.
          In the afternoon we reached a large river called the Ruaha. Workmen were busy
          building a large bridge across it but it is not yet ready so we crossed by a ford below
          the bridge. George told me that the river was full of crocodiles but though I looked hard, I
          did not see any. This is also elephant country but I did not see any of those either, only
          piles of droppings on the road. I must tell you that the natives around these parts are called Wahehe and the river is Ruaha – enough to make a cat laugh. We saw some Wahehe out hunting with spears
          and bows and arrows. They live in long low houses with the tiniest shuttered windows
          and rounded roofs covered with earth.

          Near the river we also saw a few Masai herding cattle. They are rather terrifying to
          look at – tall, angular, and very aloof. They wear nothing but a blanket knotted on one
          shoulder, concealing nothing, and all carried one or two spears.
          The road climbs steeply on the far side of the Ruaha and one has the most
          tremendous views over the plains. We spent our first night up there in the high country.
          Everything was taken out of the car, the bed roll opened up and George and I slept
          comfortably in the back of the car whilst Lamek, rolled in a blanket, slept soundly by a
          small fire nearby. Next morning we reached our first township, Iringa, and put up at the
          Colonist Hotel. We had a comfortable room in the annex overlooking the golf course.
          our room had its own little dressing room which was also the bathroom because, when
          ordered to do so, the room boy carried in an oval galvanised bath and filled it with hot
          water which he carried in a four gallon petrol tin.

          When we crossed to the main building for lunch, George was immediately hailed
          by several men who wanted to meet the bride. I was paid some handsome
          compliments but was not sure whether they were sincere or the result of a nice alcoholic
          glow. Anyhow every one was very friendly.

          After lunch I went back to the bedroom leaving George chatting away. I waited and
          waited – no George. I got awfully tired of waiting and thought I’d give him a fright so I
          walked out onto the deserted golf course and hid behind some large boulders. Soon I
          saw George returning to the room and the boy followed with a tea tray. Ah, now the hue
          and cry will start, thought I, but no, no George appeared nor could I hear any despairing
          cry. When sunset came I trailed crossly back to our hotel room where George lay
          innocently asleep on his bed, hands folded on his chest like a crusader on his tomb. In a
          moment he opened his eyes, smiled sleepily and said kindly, “Did you have a nice walk
          my love?” So of course I couldn’t play the neglected wife as he obviously didn’t think
          me one and we had a very pleasant dinner and party in the hotel that evening.
          Next day we continued our journey but turned aside to visit the farm of a sprightly
          old man named St.Leger Seaton whom George had known for many years, so it was
          after dark before George decided that we had covered our quota of miles for the day.
          Whilst he and Lamek unpacked I wandered off to a stream to cool my hot feet which had
          baked all day on the floor boards of the car. In the rather dim moonlight I sat down on the
          grassy bank and gratefully dabbled my feet in the cold water. A few minutes later I
          started up with a shriek – I had the sensation of red hot pins being dug into all my most
          sensitive parts. I started clawing my clothes off and, by the time George came to the
          rescue with the lamp, I was practically in the nude. “Only Siafu ants,” said George calmly.
          Take off all your clothes and get right in the water.” So I had a bathe whilst George
          picked the ants off my clothes by the light of the lamp turned very low for modesty’s
          sake. Siafu ants are beastly things. They are black ants with outsized heads and
          pinchers. I shall be very, very careful where I sit in future.

          The next day was even hotter. There was no great variety in the scenery. Most
          of the country was covered by a tree called Miombo, which is very ordinary when the
          foliage is a mature deep green, but when in new leaf the trees look absolutely beautiful
          as the leaves,surprisingly, are soft pastel shades of red and yellow.

          Once again we turned aside from the main road to visit one of George’s friends.
          This man Major Hugh Jones MC, has a farm only a few miles from ours but just now he is supervising the making of an airstrip. Major Jones is quite a character. He is below
          average height and skinny with an almost bald head and one nearly blind eye into which
          he screws a monocle. He is a cultured person and will, I am sure, make an interesting
          neighbour. George and Major Jones’ friends call him ‘Joni’ but he is generally known in
          this country as ‘Ropesoles’ – as he is partial to that type of footwear.
          We passed through Mbeya township after dark so I have no idea what the place
          is like. The last 100 miles of our journey was very dusty and the last 15 miles extremely
          bumpy. The road is used so little that in some places we had to plow our way through
          long grass and I was delighted when at last George turned into a side road and said
          “This is our place.” We drove along the bank of the Mchewe River, then up a hill and
          stopped at a tent which was pitched beside the half built walls of our new home. We
          were expected so there was hot water for baths and after a supper of tinned food and
          good hot tea, I climbed thankfully into bed.

          Next morning I was awakened by the chattering of the African workmen and was
          soon out to inspect the new surroundings. Our farm was once part of Hickson Wood’s
          land and is separated from theirs by a river. Our houses cannot be more than a few
          hundred yards apart as the crow flies but as both are built on the slopes of a long range
          of high hills, and one can only cross the river at the foot of the slopes, it will be quite a
          safari to go visiting on foot . Most of our land is covered with shoulder high grass but it
          has been partly cleared of trees and scrub. Down by the river George has made a long
          coffee nursery and a large vegetable garden but both coffee and vegetable seedlings
          are too small to be of use.

          George has spared all the trees that will make good shade for the coffee later on.
          There are several huge wild fig trees as big as oaks but with smooth silvery-green trunks
          and branches and there are lots of acacia thorn trees with flat tops like Japanese sun
          shades. I’ve seen lovely birds in the fig trees, Louries with bright plumage and crested
          heads, and Blue Rollers, and in the grasslands there are widow birds with incredibly long
          black tail feathers.

          There are monkeys too and horrible but fascinating tree lizards with blue bodies
          and orange heads. There are so many, many things to tell you but they must wait for
          another time as James, the house boy, has been to say “Bafu tiari” and if I don’t go at
          once, the bath will be cold.

          I am very very happy and terribly interested in this new life so please don’t
          worry about me.

          Much love to you all,
          Eleanor.

          Mchewe Estate 29th. November 1930

          Dearest Family,

          I’ve lots of time to write letters just now because George is busy supervising the
          building of the house from early morning to late afternoon – with a break for lunch of
          course.

          On our second day here our tent was moved from the house site to a small
          clearing further down the slope of our hill. Next to it the labourers built a ‘banda’ , which is
          a three sided grass hut with thatched roof – much cooler than the tent in this weather.
          There is also a little grass lav. so you see we have every convenience. I spend most of
          my day in the banda reading or writing letters. Occasionally I wander up to the house site
          and watch the building, but mostly I just sit.

          I did try exploring once. I wandered down a narrow path towards the river. I
          thought I might paddle and explore the river a little but I came round a bend and there,
          facing me, was a crocodile. At least for a moment I thought it was and my adrenaline
          glands got very busy indeed. But it was only an enormous monitor lizard, four or five
          feet long. It must have been as scared as I was because it turned and rushed off through
          the grass. I turned and walked hastily back to the camp and as I passed the house site I
          saw some boys killing a large puff adder. Now I do my walking in the evenings with
          George. Nothing alarming ever seems to happen when he is around.

          It is interesting to watch the boys making bricks for the house. They make a pile
          of mud which they trample with their feet until it is the right consistency. Then they fill
          wooden moulds with the clayey mud, and press it down well and turn out beautiful shiny,
          dark brown bricks which are laid out in rows and covered with grass to bake slowly in the
          sun.

          Most of the materials for the building are right here at hand. The walls will be sun
          dried bricks and there is a white clay which will make a good whitewash for the inside
          walls. The chimney and walls will be of burnt brick and tiles and George is now busy
          building a kiln for this purpose. Poles for the roof are being cut in the hills behind the
          house and every day women come along with large bundles of thatching grass on their
          heads. Our windows are modern steel casement ones and the doors have been made
          at a mission in the district. George does some of the bricklaying himself. The other
          bricklayer is an African from Northern Rhodesia called Pedro. It makes me perspire just
          to look at Pedro who wears an overcoat all day in the very hot sun.
          Lamek continues to please. He turns out excellent meals, chicken soup followed
          by roast chicken, vegetables from the Hickson-Woods garden and a steamed pudding
          or fruit to wind up the meal. I enjoy the chicken but George is fed up with it and longs for
          good red meat. The chickens are only about as large as a partridge but then they cost
          only sixpence each.

          I had my first visit to Mbeya two days ago. I put on my very best trousseau frock
          for the occasion- that yellow striped silk one – and wore my wedding hat. George didn’t
          comment, but I saw later that I was dreadfully overdressed.
          Mbeya at the moment is a very small settlement consisting of a bundle of small
          Indian shops – Dukas they call them, which stock European tinned foods and native soft
          goods which seem to be mainly of Japanese origin. There is a one storied Government
          office called the Boma and two attractive gabled houses of burnt brick which house the
          District Officer and his Assistant. Both these houses have lovely gardens but i saw them
          only from the outside as we did not call. After buying our stores George said “Lets go to the pub, I want you to meet Mrs Menzies.” Well the pub turned out to be just three or four grass rondavels on a bare
          plot. The proprietor, Ken Menzies, came out to welcome us. I took to him at once
          because he has the same bush sandy eyebrows as you have Dad. He told me that
          unfortunately his wife is away at the coast, and then he ushered me through the door
          saying “Here’s George with his bride.” then followed the Iringa welcome all over again,
          only more so, because the room was full of diggers from the Lupa Goldfields about fifty
          miles away.

          Champagne corks popped as I shook hands all around and George was
          clapped on the back. I could see he was a favourite with everyone and I tried not to be
          gauche and let him down. These men were all most kind and most appeared to be men
          of more than average education. However several were unshaven and looked as
          though they had slept in their clothes as I suppose they had. When they have a little luck
          on the diggings they come in here to Menzies pub and spend the lot. George says
          they bring their gold dust and small nuggets in tobacco tins or Kruschen salts jars and
          hand them over to Ken Menzies saying “Tell me when I’ve spent the lot.” Ken then
          weighs the gold and estimates its value and does exactly what the digger wants.
          However the Diggers get good value for their money because besides the drink
          they get companionship and good food and nursing if they need it. Mrs Menzies is a
          trained nurse and most kind and capable from what I was told. There is no doctor or
          hospital here so her experience as a nursing sister is invaluable.
          We had lunch at the Hotel and afterwards I poured tea as I was the only female
          present. Once the shyness had worn off I rather enjoyed myself.

          Now to end off I must tell you a funny story of how I found out that George likes
          his women to be feminine. You will remember those dashing black silk pyjamas Aunt
          Mary gave me, with flowered “happy coat” to match. Well last night I thought I’d give
          George a treat and when the boy called me for my bath I left George in the ‘banda’
          reading the London Times. After my bath I put on my Japanese pyjamas and coat,
          peered into the shaving mirror which hangs from the tent pole and brushed my hair until it
          shone. I must confess that with my fringe and shingled hair I thought I made quite a
          glamourous Japanese girl. I walked coyly across to the ‘banda’. Alas no compliment.
          George just glanced up from the Times and went on reading.
          He was away rather a long time when it came to his turn to bath. I glanced up
          when he came back and had a slight concussion. George, if you please, was arrayed in
          my very best pale yellow satin nightie. The one with the lace and ribbon sash and little
          bows on the shoulder. I knew exactly what he meant to convey. I was not to wear the
          trousers in the family. I seethed inwardly, but pretending not to notice, I said calmly “shall
          I call for food?” In this garb George sat down to dinner and it says a great deal for African
          phlegm that the boy did not drop the dishes.

          We conversed politely about this and that, and then, as usual, George went off
          to bed. I appeared to be engrossed in my book and did not stir. When I went to the
          tent some time later George lay fast asleep still in my nightie, though all I could see of it
          was the little ribbon bows looking farcically out of place on his broad shoulders.
          This morning neither of us mentioned the incident, George was up and dressed
          by the time I woke up but I have been smiling all day to think what a ridiculous picture
          we made at dinner. So farewell to pyjamas and hey for ribbons and bows.

          Your loving
          Eleanor.

          Mchewe Estate. Mbeya. 8th December 1930

          Dearest Family,

          A mere shadow of her former buxom self lifts a languid pen to write to you. I’m
          convalescing after my first and I hope my last attack of malaria. It was a beastly
          experience but all is now well and I am eating like a horse and will soon regain my
          bounce.

          I took ill on the evening of the day I wrote my last letter to you. It started with a
          splitting headache and fits of shivering. The symptoms were all too familiar to George
          who got me into bed and filled me up with quinine. He then piled on all the available
          blankets and packed me in hot water bottles. I thought I’d explode and said so and
          George said just to lie still and I’d soon break into a good sweat. However nothing of the
          kind happened and next day my temperature was 105 degrees. Instead of feeling
          miserable as I had done at the onset, I now felt very merry and most chatty. George
          now tells me I sang the most bawdy songs but I hardly think it likely. Do you?
          You cannot imagine how tenderly George nursed me, not only that day but
          throughout the whole eight days I was ill. As we do not employ any African house
          women, and there are no white women in the neighbourhood at present to whom we
          could appeal for help, George had to do everything for me. It was unbearably hot in the
          tent so George decided to move me across to the Hickson-Woods vacant house. They
          have not yet returned from the coast.

          George decided I was too weak to make the trip in the car so he sent a
          messenger over to the Woods’ house for their Machila. A Machila is a canopied canvas
          hammock slung from a bamboo pole and carried by four bearers. The Machila duly
          arrived and I attempted to walk to it, clinging to George’s arm, but collapsed in a faint so
          the trip was postponed to the next morning when I felt rather better. Being carried by
          Machila is quite pleasant but I was in no shape to enjoy anything and got thankfully into
          bed in the Hickson-Woods large, cool and rather dark bedroom. My condition did not
          improve and George decided to send a runner for the Government Doctor at Tukuyu
          about 60 miles away. Two days later Dr Theis arrived by car and gave me two
          injections of quinine which reduced the fever. However I still felt very weak and had to
          spend a further four days in bed.

          We have now decided to stay on here until the Hickson-Woods return by which
          time our own house should be ready. George goes off each morning and does not
          return until late afternoon. However don’t think “poor Eleanor” because I am very
          comfortable here and there are lots of books to read and the days seem to pass very
          quickly.

          The Hickson-Wood’s house was built by Major Jones and I believe the one on
          his shamba is just like it. It is a square red brick building with a wide verandah all around
          and, rather astonishingly, a conical thatched roof. There is a beautiful view from the front
          of the house and a nice flower garden. The coffee shamba is lower down on the hill.
          Mrs Wood’s first husband, George’s friend Vi Lumb, is buried in the flower
          garden. He died of blackwater fever about five years ago. I’m told that before her
          second marriage Kath lived here alone with her little daughter, Maureen, and ran the farm
          entirely on her own. She must be quite a person. I bet she didn’t go and get malaria
          within a few weeks of her marriage.

          The native tribe around here are called Wasafwa. They are pretty primitive but
          seem amiable people. Most of the men, when they start work, wear nothing but some
          kind of sheet of unbleached calico wrapped round their waists and hanging to mid calf. As soon as they have drawn their wages they go off to a duka and buy a pair of khaki
          shorts for five or six shillings. Their women folk wear very short beaded skirts. I think the
          base is goat skin but have never got close enough for a good look. They are very shy.
          I hear from George that they have started on the roof of our house but I have not
          seen it myself since the day I was carried here by Machila. My letters by the way go to
          the Post Office by runner. George’s farm labourers take it in turn to act in this capacity.
          The mail bag is given to them on Friday afternoon and by Saturday evening they are
          back with our very welcome mail.

          Very much love,
          Eleanor.

          Mbeya 23rd December 1930

          Dearest Family,

          George drove to Mbeya for stores last week and met Col. Sherwood-Kelly VC.
          who has been sent by the Government to Mbeya as Game Ranger. His job will be to
          protect native crops from raiding elephants and hippo etc., and to protect game from
          poachers. He has had no training for this so he has asked George to go with him on his
          first elephant safari to show him the ropes.

          George likes Col. Kelly and was quite willing to go on safari but not willing to
          leave me alone on the farm as I am still rather shaky after malaria. So it was arranged that
          I should go to Mbeya and stay with Mrs Harmer, the wife of the newly appointed Lands
          and Mines Officer, whose husband was away on safari.

          So here I am in Mbeya staying in the Harmers temporary wattle and daub
          house. Unfortunately I had a relapse of the malaria and stayed in bed for three days with
          a temperature. Poor Mrs Harmer had her hands full because in the room next to mine
          she was nursing a digger with blackwater fever. I could hear his delirious babble through
          the thin wall – very distressing. He died poor fellow , and leaves a wife and seven
          children.

          I feel better than I have done for weeks and this afternoon I walked down to the
          store. There are great signs of activity and people say that Mbeya will grow rapidly now
          owing to the boom on the gold fields and also to the fact that a large aerodrome is to be
          built here. Mbeya is to be a night stop on the proposed air service between England
          and South Africa. I seem to be the last of the pioneers. If all these schemes come about
          Mbeya will become quite suburban.

          26th December 1930

          George, Col. Kelly and Mr Harmer all returned to Mbeya on Christmas Eve and
          it was decided that we should stay and have midday Christmas dinner with the
          Harmers. Col. Kelly and the Assistant District Commissioner came too and it was quite a
          festive occasion, We left Mbeya in the early afternoon and had our evening meal here at
          Hickson-Wood’s farm. I wore my wedding dress.

          I went across to our house in the car this morning. George usually walks across to
          save petrol which is very expensive here. He takes a short cut and wades through the
          river. The distance by road is very much longer than the short cut. The men are now
          thatching the roof of our cottage and it looks charming. It consists of a very large living
          room-dinning room with a large inglenook fireplace at one end. The bedroom is a large
          square room with a smaller verandah room adjoining it. There is a wide verandah in the
          front, from which one has a glorious view over a wide valley to the Livingstone
          Mountains on the horizon. Bathroom and storeroom are on the back verandah and the
          kitchen is some distance behind the house to minimise the risk of fire.

          You can imagine how much I am looking forward to moving in. We have some
          furniture which was made by an Indian carpenter at Iringa, refrectory dining table and
          chairs, some small tables and two armchairs and two cupboards and a meatsafe. Other
          things like bookshelves and extra cupboards we will have to make ourselves. George
          has also bought a portable gramophone and records which will be a boon.
          We also have an Irish wolfhound puppy, a skinny little chap with enormous feet
          who keeps me company all day whilst George is across at our farm working on the
          house.

          Lots and lots of love,
          Eleanor.

          Mchewe Estate 8th Jan 1931

          Dearest Family,

          Alas, I have lost my little companion. The Doctor called in here on Boxing night
          and ran over and killed Paddy, our pup. It was not his fault but I was very distressed
          about it and George has promised to try and get another pup from the same litter.
          The Hickson-Woods returned home on the 29th December so we decided to
          move across to our nearly finished house on the 1st January. Hicky Wood decided that
          we needed something special to mark the occasion so he went off and killed a sucking
          pig behind the kitchen. The piglet’s screams were terrible and I felt that I would not be
          able to touch any dinner. Lamek cooked and served sucking pig up in the traditional way
          but it was high and quite literally, it stank. Our first meal in our own home was not a
          success.

          However next day all was forgotten and I had something useful to do. George
          hung doors and I held the tools and I also planted rose cuttings I had brought from
          Mbeya and sowed several boxes with seeds.

          Dad asked me about the other farms in the area. I haven’t visited any but there
          are five besides ours. One belongs to the Lutheran Mission at Utengule, a few miles
          from here. The others all belong to British owners. Nearest to Mbeya, at the foot of a
          very high peak which gives Mbeya its name, are two farms, one belonging to a South
          African mining engineer named Griffiths, the other to I.G.Stewart who was an officer in the
          Kings African Rifles. Stewart has a young woman called Queenie living with him. We are
          some miles further along the range of hills and are some 23 miles from Mbeya by road.
          The Mchewe River divides our land from the Hickson-Woods and beyond their farm is
          Major Jones.

          All these people have been away from their farms for some time but have now
          returned so we will have some neighbours in future. However although the houses are
          not far apart as the crow flies, they are all built high in the foothills and it is impossible to
          connect the houses because of the rivers and gorges in between. One has to drive right
          down to the main road and then up again so I do not suppose we will go visiting very
          often as the roads are very bumpy and eroded and petrol is so expensive that we all
          save it for occasional trips to Mbeya.

          The rains are on and George has started to plant out some coffee seedlings. The
          rains here are strange. One can hear the rain coming as it moves like a curtain along the
          range of hills. It comes suddenly, pours for a little while and passes on and the sun
          shines again.

          I do like it here and I wish you could see or dear little home.

          Your loving,
          Eleanor.

          Mchewe Estate. 1st April 1931

          Dearest Family,

          Everything is now running very smoothly in our home. Lamek continues to
          produce palatable meals and makes wonderful bread which he bakes in a four gallon
          petrol tin as we have no stove yet. He puts wood coals on the brick floor of the kitchen,
          lays the tin lengh-wise on the coals and heaps more on top. The bread tins are then put
          in the petrol tin, which has one end cut away, and the open end is covered by a flat
          piece of tin held in place by a brick. Cakes are also backed in this make-shift oven and I
          have never known Lamek to have a failure yet.

          Lamek has a helper, known as the ‘mpishi boy’ , who does most of the hard
          work, cleans pots and pans and chops the firewood etc. Another of the mpishi boy’s
          chores is to kill the two chickens we eat each day. The chickens run wild during the day
          but are herded into a small chicken house at night. One of the kitchen boy’s first duties is
          to let the chickens out first thing in the early morning. Some time after breakfast it dawns
          on Lamek that he will need a chicken for lunch. he informs the kitchen boy who selects a
          chicken and starts to chase it in which he is enthusiastically joined by our new Irish
          wolfhound pup, Kelly. Together they race after the frantic fowl, over the flower beds and
          around the house until finally the chicken collapses from sheer exhaustion. The kitchen
          boy then hands it over to Lamek who murders it with the kitchen knife and then pops the
          corpse into boiling water so the feathers can be stripped off with ease.

          I pointed out in vain, that it would be far simpler if the doomed chickens were kept
          in the chicken house in the mornings when the others were let out and also that the correct
          way to pluck chickens is when they are dry. Lamek just smiled kindly and said that that
          may be so in Europe but that his way is the African way and none of his previous
          Memsahibs has complained.

          My houseboy, named James, is clean and capable in the house and also a
          good ‘dhobi’ or washboy. He takes the washing down to the river and probably
          pounds it with stones, but I prefer not to look. The ironing is done with a charcoal iron
          only we have no charcoal and he uses bits of wood from the kitchen fire but so far there
          has not been a mishap.

          It gets dark here soon after sunset and then George lights the oil lamps and we
          have tea and toast in front of the log fire which burns brightly in our inglenook. This is my
          favourite hour of the day. Later George goes for his bath. I have mine in the mornings
          and we have dinner at half past eight. Then we talk a bit and read a bit and sometimes
          play the gramophone. I expect it all sounds pretty unexciting but it doesn’t seem so to
          me.

          Very much love,
          Eleanor.

          Mchewe Estate 20th April 1931

          Dearest Family,

          It is still raining here and the countryside looks very lush and green, very different
          from the Mbeya district I first knew, when plains and hills were covered in long brown
          grass – very course stuff that grows shoulder high.

          Most of the labourers are hill men and one can see little patches of cultivation in
          the hills. Others live in small villages near by, each consisting of a cluster of thatched huts
          and a few maize fields and perhaps a patch of bananas. We do not have labour lines on
          the farm because our men all live within easy walking distance. Each worker has a labour
          card with thirty little squares on it. One of these squares is crossed off for each days work
          and when all thirty are marked in this way the labourer draws his pay and hies himself off
          to the nearest small store and blows the lot. The card system is necessary because
          these Africans are by no means slaves to work. They work only when they feel like it or
          when someone in the family requires a new garment, or when they need a few shillings
          to pay their annual tax. Their fields, chickens and goats provide them with the food they
          need but they draw rations of maize meal beans and salt. Only our headman is on a
          salary. His name is Thomas and he looks exactly like the statues of Julius Caesar, the
          same bald head and muscular neck and sardonic expression. He comes from Northern
          Rhodesia and is more intelligent than the locals.

          We still live mainly on chickens. We have a boy whose job it is to scour the
          countryside for reasonable fat ones. His name is Lucas and he is quite a character. He
          has such long horse teeth that he does not seem able to close his mouth and wears a
          perpetual amiable smile. He brings his chickens in beehive shaped wicker baskets
          which are suspended on a pole which Lucas carries on his shoulder.

          We buy our groceries in bulk from Mbeya, our vegetables come from our
          garden by the river and our butter from Kath Wood. Our fresh milk we buy from the
          natives. It is brought each morning by three little totos each carrying one bottle on his
          shaven head. Did I tell you that the local Wasafwa file their teeth to points. These kids
          grin at one with their little sharks teeth – quite an “all-ready-to-eat-you-with-my-dear” look.
          A few nights ago a message arrived from Kath Wood to say that Queenie
          Stewart was very ill and would George drive her across to the Doctor at Tukuyu. I
          wanted George to wait until morning because it was pouring with rain, and the mountain
          road to Tukuyu is tricky even in dry weather, but he said it is dangerous to delay with any
          kind of fever in Africa and he would have to start at once. So off he drove in the rain and I
          did not see him again until the following night.

          George said that it had been a nightmare trip. Queenie had a high temperature
          and it was lucky that Kath was able to go to attend to her. George needed all his
          attention on the road which was officially closed to traffic, and very slippery, and in some
          places badly eroded. In some places the decking of bridges had been removed and
          George had to get out in the rain and replace it. As he had nothing with which to fasten
          the decking to the runners it was a dangerous undertaking to cross the bridges especially
          as the rivers are now in flood and flowing strongly. However they reached Tukuyu safely
          and it was just as well they went because the Doctor diagnosed Queenies illness as
          Spirillium Tick Fever which is a very nasty illness indeed.

          Eleanor.

          Mchewe Estate. 20th May 1931

          Dear Family,

          I’m feeling fit and very happy though a bit lonely sometimes because George
          spends much of his time away in the hills cutting a furrow miles long to bring water to the
          house and to the upper part of the shamba so that he will be able to irrigate the coffee
          during the dry season.

          It will be quite an engineering feat when it is done as George only has makeshift
          surveying instruments. He has mounted an ordinary cheap spirit level on an old camera
          tripod and has tacked two gramophone needles into the spirit level to give him a line.
          The other day part of a bank gave way and practically buried two of George’s labourers
          but they were quickly rescued and no harm was done. However he will not let them
          work unless he is there to supervise.

          I keep busy so that the days pass quickly enough. I am delighted with the
          material you sent me for curtains and loose covers and have hired a hand sewing
          machine from Pedro-of-the-overcoat and am rattling away all day. The machine is an
          ancient German one and when I say rattle, I mean rattle. It is a most cumbersome, heavy
          affair of I should say, the same vintage as George Stevenson’s Rocket locomotive.
          Anyway it sews and I am pleased with my efforts. We made a couch ourselves out of a
          native bed, a mattress and some planks but all this is hidden under the chintz cover and
          it looks quite the genuine bought article. I have some diversions too. Small black faced
          monkeys sit in the trees outside our bedroom window and they are most entertaining to
          watch. They are very mischievous though. When I went out into the garden this morning
          before breakfast I found that the monkeys had pulled up all my carnations. There they
          lay, roots in the air and whether they will take again I don’t know.

          I like the monkeys but hate the big mountain baboons that come and hang
          around our chicken house. I am terrified that they will tear our pup into bits because he is
          a plucky young thing and will rush out to bark at the baboons.

          George usually returns for the weekends but last time he did not because he had
          a touch of malaria. He sent a boy down for the mail and some fresh bread. Old Lucas
          arrived with chickens just as the messenger was setting off with mail and bread in a
          haversack on his back. I thought it might be a good idea to send a chicken to George so
          I selected a spry young rooster which I handed to the messenger. He, however,
          complained that he needed both hands for climbing. I then had one of my bright ideas
          and, putting a layer of newspaper over the bread, I tucked the rooster into the haversack
          and buckled down the flap so only his head protruded.

          I thought no more about it until two days later when the messenger again
          appeared for fresh bread. He brought a rather terse note from George saying that the
          previous bread was uneatable as the rooster had eaten some of it and messed on the
          rest. Ah me!

          The previous weekend the Hickson-Woods, Stewarts and ourselves, went
          across to Tukuyu to attend a dance at the club there. the dance was very pleasant. All
          the men wore dinner jackets and the ladies wore long frocks. As there were about
          twenty men and only seven ladies we women danced every dance whilst the surplus
          men got into a huddle around the bar. George and I spent the night with the Agricultural
          Officer, Mr Eustace, and I met his fiancee, Lillian Austin from South Africa, to whom I took
          a great liking. She is Governess to the children of Major Masters who has a farm in the
          Tukuyu district.

          On the Sunday morning we had a look at the township. The Boma was an old German one and was once fortified as the Africans in this district are a very warlike tribe.
          They are fine looking people. The men wear sort of togas and bands of cloth around
          their heads and look like Roman Senators, but the women go naked except for a belt
          from which two broad straps hang down, one in front and another behind. Not a graceful
          garb I assure you.

          We also spent a pleasant hour in the Botanical Gardens, laid out during the last
          war by the District Commissioner, Major Wells, with German prisoner of war labour.
          There are beautiful lawns and beds of roses and other flowers and shady palm lined
          walks and banana groves. The gardens are terraced with flights of brick steps connecting
          the different levels and there is a large artificial pond with little islands in it. I believe Major
          Wells designed the lake to resemble in miniature, the Lakes of Killarney.
          I enjoyed the trip very much. We got home at 8 pm to find the front door locked
          and the kitchen boy fast asleep on my newly covered couch! I hastily retreated to the
          bedroom whilst George handled the situation.

          Eleanor.

          #6253
          TracyTracy
          Participant

            My Grandparents Kitchen

            My grandmother used to have golden syrup in her larder, hanging on the white plastic coated storage rack that was screwed to the inside of the larder door. Mostly the larder door was left propped open with an old flat iron, so you could see the Heinz ketchup and home made picallilli (she made a particularly good picallili), the Worcester sauce and the jar of pickled onions, as you sat at the kitchen table.

            If you were sitting to the right of the kitchen table you could see an assortment of mismatched crockery, cups and bowls, shoe cleaning brushes, and at the back, tiny tins of baked beans and big ones of plum tomatoes,  and normal sized tins of vegetable and mushroom soup.  Underneath the little shelves that housed the tins was a blue plastic washing up bowl with a few onions, some in, some out of the yellow string bag they came home from the expensive little village supermarket in.

            There was much more to the left in the awkward triangular shape under the stairs, but you couldn’t see under there from your seat at the kitchen table.  You could see the shelf above the larder door which held an ugly china teapot of graceless modern lines, gazed with metallic silver which was wearing off in places. Beside the teapot sat a serving bowl, squat and shapely with little handles, like a flattened Greek urn, in white and reddish brown with flecks of faded gilt. A plain white teapot completed the trio, a large cylindrical one with neat vertical ridges and grooves.

            There were two fridges under the high shallow wooden wall cupboard.  A waist high bulbous old green one with a big handle that pulled out with a clunk, and a chest high sleek white one with a small freezer at the top with a door of its own.  On the top of the fridges were biscuit and cracker tins, big black keys, pencils and brittle yellow notepads, rubber bands and aspirin value packs and a bottle of Brufen.  There was a battered old maroon spectacle case and a whicker letter rack, letters crammed in and fanning over the top.  There was always a pile of glossy advertising pamphlets and flyers on top of the fridges, of the sort that were best put straight into the tiny pedal bin.

            My grandmother never lined the pedal bin with a used plastic bag, nor with a specially designed plastic bin liner. The bin was so small that the flip top lid was often gaping, resting on a mound of cauliflower greens and soup tins.  Behind the pedal bin, but on the outer aspect of the kitchen wall, was the big black dustbin with the rubbery lid. More often than not, the lid was thrust upwards. If Thursday when the dustbin men came was several days away, you’d wish you hadn’t put those newspapers in, or those old shoes!  You stood in the softly drizzling rain in your slippers, the rubbery sheild of a lid in your left hand and the overflowing pedal bin in the other.  The contents of the pedal bin are not going to fit into the dustbin.  You sigh, put the pedal bin and the dustbin lid down, and roll up your sleeves ~ carefully, because you’ve poked your fingers into a porridge covered teabag.  You grab the sides of the protruding black sack and heave. All being well,  the contents should settle and you should have several inches more of plastic bag above the rim of the dustbin.  Unless of course it’s a poor quality plastic bag in which case your fingernail will go through and a horizontal slash will appear just below rubbish level.  Eventually you upend the pedal bin and scrape the cigarette ash covered potato peelings into the dustbin with your fingers. By now the fibres of your Shetland wool jumper are heavy with damp, just like the fuzzy split ends that curl round your pale frowning brow.  You may push back your hair with your forearm causing the moisture to bead and trickle down your face, as you turn the brass doorknob with your palm and wrist, tea leaves and cigarette ash clinging unpleasantly to your fingers.

            The pedal bin needs rinsing in the kitchen sink, but the sink is full of mismatched saucepans, some new in shades of harvest gold, some battered and mishapen in stainless steel and aluminium, bits of mashed potato stuck to them like concrete pebbledash. There is a pale pink octagonally ovoid shallow serving dish and a little grey soup bowl with a handle like a miniature pottery saucepan decorated with kitcheny motifs.

            The water for the coffee bubbles in a suacepan on the cream enamelled gas cooker. My grandmother never used a kettle, although I do remember a heavy flame orange one. The little pan for boiling water had a lip for easy pouring and a black plastic handle.

            The steam has caused the condensation on the window over the sink to race in rivulets down to the fablon coated windowsill.  The yellow gingham curtains hang limply, the left one tucked behind the back of the cooker.

            You put the pedal bin back it it’s place below the tea towel holder, and rinse your mucky fingers under the tap. The gas water heater on the wall above you roars into life just as you turn the tap off, and disappointed, subsides.

            As you lean over to turn the cooker knob, the heat from the oven warms your arm. The gas oven was almost always on, the oven door open with clean tea towels and sometimes large white pants folded over it to air.

            The oven wasn’t the only heat in my grandparents kitchen. There was an electric bar fire near the red formica table which used to burn your legs. The kitchen table was extended by means of a flap at each side. When I was small I wasn’t allowed to snap the hinge underneath shut as my grandmother had pinched the skin of her palm once.

            The electric fire was plugged into the same socket as the radio. The radio took a minute or two to warm up when you switched it on, a bulky thing with sharp seventies edges and a reddish wood effect veneer and big knobs.  The light for my grandfathers workshop behind the garage (where he made dentures) was plugged into the same socket, which had a big heavy white three way adaptor in. The plug for the washing machine was hooked by means of a bit of string onto a nail or hook so that it didn’t fall down behing the washing machine when it wasn’t plugged in. Everything was unplugged when it wasn’t in use.  Sometimes there was a shrivelled Christmas cactus on top of the radio, but it couldn’t hide the adaptor and all those plugs.

            Above the washing machine was a rhomboid wooden wall cupboard with sliding frsoted glass doors.  It was painted creamy gold, the colour of a nicotine stained pub ceiling, and held packets of Paxo stuffing and little jars of Bovril and Marmite, packets of Bisto and a jar of improbably red Maraschino cherries.

            The nicotine coloured cupboard on the opposite wall had half a dozen large hooks screwed under the bottom shelf. A variety of mugs and cups hung there when they weren’t in the bowl waiting to be washed up. Those cupboard doors seemed flimsy for their size, and the thin beading on the edge of one door had come unstuck at the bottom and snapped back if you caught it with your sleeve.  The doors fastened with a little click in the centre, and the bottom of the door reverberated slightly as you yanked it open. There were always crumbs in the cupboard from the numerous packets of bisucits and crackers and there was always an Allbran packet with the top folded over to squeeze it onto the shelf. The sugar bowl was in there, sticky grains like sandpaper among the biscuit crumbs.

            Half of one of the shelves was devoted to medicines: grave looking bottles of codeine linctus with no nonsense labels,  brown glass bottles with pills for rheumatism and angina.  Often you would find a large bottle, nearly full, of Brewers yeast or vitamin supplements with a dollar price tag, souvenirs of the familys last visit.  Above the medicines you’d find a faded packet of Napolitana pasta bows or a dusty packet of muesli. My grandparents never used them but she left them in the cupboard. Perhaps the dollar price tags and foreign foods reminded her of her children.

            If there had been a recent visit you would see monstrous jars of Sanka and Maxwell House coffee in there too, but they always used the coffee.  They liked evaporated milk in their coffee, and used tins and tins of “evap” as they called it. They would pour it over tinned fruit, or rhubard crumble or stewed apples.

            When there was just the two of them, or when I was there as well, they’d eat at the kitchen table. The table would be covered in a white embroidered cloth and the food served in mismatched serving dishes. The cutlery was large and bent, the knife handles in varying shades of bone. My grandfathers favourite fork had the tip of each prong bent in a different direction. He reckoned it was more efficient that way to spear his meat.  He often used to chew his meat and then spit it out onto the side of his plate. Not in company, of course.  I can understand why he did that, not having eaten meat myself for so long. You could chew a piece of meat for several hours and still have a stringy lump between your cheek and your teeth.

            My grandfather would always have a bowl of Allbran with some Froment wheat germ for his breakfast, while reading the Daily Mail at the kitchen table.  He never worse slippers, always shoes indoors,  and always wore a tie.  He had lots of ties but always wore a plain maroon one.  His shirts were always cream and buttoned at throat and cuff, and eventually started wearing shirts without detachable collars. He wore greeny grey trousers and a cardigan of the same shade most of the time, the same colour as a damp English garden.

            The same colour as the slimy green wooden clothes pegs that I threw away and replaced with mauve and fuschia pink plastic ones.  “They’re a bit bright for up the garden, aren’t they,” he said.  He was right. I should have ignored the green peg stains on the laundry.  An English garden should be shades of moss and grassy green, rich umber soil and brick red walls weighed down with an atmosphere of dense and heavy greyish white.

            After Grandma died and Mop had retired (I always called him Mop, nobody knows why) at 10:00am precisely Mop would  have a cup of instant coffee with evap. At lunch, a bowl of tinned vegetable soup in his special soup bowl, and a couple of Krackawheat crackers and a lump of mature Cheddar. It was a job these days to find a tasty cheddar, he’d say.

            When he was working, and he worked until well into his seventies, he took sandwiches. Every day he had the same sandwich filling: a combination of cheese, peanut butter and marmite.  It was an unusal choice for an otherwise conventional man.  He loved my grandmothers cooking, which wasn’t brilliant but was never awful. She was always generous with the cheese in cheese sauces and the meat in meat pies. She overcooked the cauliflower, but everyone did then. She made her gravy in the roasting pan, and made onion sauce, bread sauce, parsley sauce and chestnut stuffing.  She had her own version of cosmopolitan favourites, and called her quiche a quiche when everyone was still calling it egg and bacon pie. She used to like Auntie Daphne’s ratatouille, rather exotic back then, and pronounced it Ratta Twa.  She made pizza unlike any other, with shortcrust pastry smeared with tomato puree from a tube, sprinkled with oregano and great slabs of cheddar.

            The roast was always overdone. “We like our meat well done” she’d say. She’d walk up the garden to get fresh mint for the mint sauce and would announce with pride “these runner beans are out of the garding”. They always grew vegetables at the top of the garden, behind the lawn and the silver birch tree.  There was always a pudding: a slice of almond tart (always with home made pastry), a crumble or stewed fruit. Topped with evap, of course.

            #4645

            It had been a day of full work for Ricardo, rather than his frequently dull work at the paper.
            Connie and Hilda were crazily busy bouncing off bits of odd news to each other and it was a sort of playful banter that even had Sweet Sophie come out of her pre-lunch-post-lunch slumber that occasionally trailed until tea time.

            News of the Rim had been scarce, there was no denying. Honestly, he wondered how Bossy M’am managed to still pay the bills and their wages, however meager those (or his) were. He giggled thinking about how she probably scared the debt collectors off their wits with her best impersonation of Johnny Depp playing Jack Sparrow playing Tootsie meets Freddy Krueger.

            Speaking of which, he couldn’t help but eavesdrop, while pretending to clean the coffee cups and the butter knives full of vegemite and scone crumbs.

            “Dolls! Are you daft? What about all those crop circles in France instead?”
            “Listen, you decrepit tart, I’m telling you there’s plenty to investigate about this Findmy stuff group. Secret dolls scattered around the world, masonic occult secret symbols…”
            “Hardly matter for an insert on 4th page, dear. While on the other hand, elongated skulls, secret underground bases in Antarctica…”
            “We talked about this! Conspiracy theories are off limits! We only want the real stuff, the odd happenings that hits your neighbour that you wouldn’t have known about without us reporting it! But dolls! that’s something, no?”
            “Flimsy at best…”
            “What else then?”
            “I don’t know, seesh, what about Hundreds attending two frogs wedding in India ?”
            “Already covered, too mainstream…”
            “What about the Mothman of Tchernobyl?”
            “We stopped cryptozoology, remember, after that pathetic chase after the trenchcoat ape that got us torpedoed in the other paper rags when we reported it without checking our facts?”
            “Facts! FACTS! Don’t you get me started about FACTS!”

            Suddenly, they both turned simultaneously at Ricardo, seemingly realizing his presence.

            Ric’, this cuppa isn’t going to make itself, dear.” They both said like a couple of creepily synched automatons.

            #4575
            AvatarJib
            Participant

              The garden was a mess. Roberto was emerging slowly out of the blissful haze of his stone elixirs where nothing really mattered into the harsh reality of the aftermath of the all out characters party.

              He found cocktail glasses, plastic cups and even toilet paper scattered under and on the bushes, hidden behind the marble statues that had been dressed with scarves, blond and red wigs and false moustaches.

              He looked clueless at a dirty muddy bubbly pond. He wondered what it could have been for a moment. Images of half naked guests throwing buckets of champagne at each others, of firemen extinguishing the barbecue appeared in front of his eyes, but it wasn’t quite right. Then he recalled the ice sculpture fountain he was so proud of. It was completely melted, like his motivation to clean everything.
              A noise alerted him that the cleaning team was also emerging from their slumber. They arrived before the guests left and it soon had become a foam party, hence the bubbly pond.

              Well, he thought, at least we had fun.

              #4351

              “Oh no!” Margoritt swore loudly, “not that cursed rain again!”.
              They were about to share what was left of the cake for dessert when the first booming strike of thunder resounded violently across the mountains.

              She cupped her hands in front of her mouth to rally the troops over the noisy rumble of the heavy dark clouds. “Inside! Everyone inside!” — when the rains started in spring, they could go on for days, drenching the countryside in curtains of water.

              The first drops falling, quickly extinguishing the candles, Rukshan raised his head to look at the darker skies covering completely the moon’s glow “This is no ordinary rain…”

              “You bet, it isn’t!” Margoritt said, looking more sombre than she ever was. “That magical umbrella won’t be enough this time, we are probably going to have to sit that one out inside. Help me bring the animals inside.”

              In front of the small cottage, everyone else started to hurry inside, bringing back the plates, cups and leftovers, while Rukshan was preparing some wood for the fire to keep the moist away.

              “Has anybody seen Eleri?” Yorath’s look was concerned. “She seem to have disappeared somewhere as usual… But she hasn’t come back yet,… and I’m afraid she took a large bite of the trancing cake too. It’s not a good night to trance out.”

              Rukshan was torn between waiting a bit longer, or going to search for her, which would be risking lives during the dark stormy night. He was about to offer to go outside himself when Gorrash said briskly:
              “Let me go find her, this storm is nothing, and I’m used to the dark. You all should stay inside. If I don’t come back at the break of dawn, you can go out to look for us, but don’t worry too much about me, I’ll blend in.” He winked at Fox who smiled weakly. He didn’t like this type of cold rain. Its smell was damp and rotten.

              “Thank you Gorrash, that is very noble of you. Please, take care of yourself, and be back soon.” Rukshan said as he opened the door which was now jerking violently against the darkest night.

              #4235

              Hasamelis stood immobile, his stony gaze seeing nothing but the relentless passing of time indicated before him on the contraption they called the Town Clock. How we would love to detach himself from his plinth and look away, and what a fate for the god of travel! It was too cruel, too wicked, too great an undeserved punishment to inflict on such a great, though long forgotten, traveler. Did any of them, those who sat beneath his feet on the park benches, eating their sandwiches and drinking from paper cups, even know who he was? No, they did not! Just another statue for the pigeons to soil, that’s all he was to them. Did anyone look up at his face and wonder? No, they did not! They took photos of themselves and each other, cutting him half out of the picture, as if he was nothing, just background scenery. Some particularly vile specimens of human nature had even pissed up his legs in the dark drunken nights, and stubbed their cigarettes out on his feet.

              His feeling of humiliation grew over the years into a raging desire for revenge. One day, one day! he would find the means to movement again, and by golly he would hunt down the creature that turned him to stone. One day he would find that woman who immobilized him and crated him like a shipment of spare parts and sent him away. One day he would find her. Oh yes, he would find that woman.

              #4036

              Ricardo had finished cleaning the tea cups in the empty office. He liked the job alright, it was a bit silly of him to surmise people would clean their own cups, and do their own teas. That was what he’d meant with the team job comment.

              Connie and Hilda were right, totally right about it; he couldn’t expect too much, he’d just arrived, he was just a simple intern in a prestigious journalistic establishment. He’d come here to learn the tricks of the trade, when he’d answered the wanted: secretary and cleaner ad of last week.
              So far, there was only so much golden nuggets of weirdo news he could find. You’d need some serious training to get to the level of Hilda and Connie, the dynamic duo.

              For now, he was content to being put to menial tasks, it helped know the colleagues better, support them as he could with the pressure on the deadlines. And also, improving the typos and legibility by cleaning up the loose letters dropped during typesetting.
              His own headline baiting skill was still rather low —it was an art to create the perfectly sexyied up heading, not too tacky, but enticing enough to captivate the readership’s attention.
              If Hilda was the queen of headline fishing, Connie was undoubtedly the empress of headline baiting.

              #3377

              “What does it say, Sanso?”
              The four travelers had arrived on the island in patchy swirling fog in a field full of cucumber plants and sundials. The sundial nearest to Sanso had a letter tied to the handle with blue ribbon.
              “If that’s not for me, I don’t know what is,” he snorted, untying the letter as Lisa looked at him in amazement.
              “Really, Sanso, that seems so implausible,” she said.
              “What does it say?”

              bq(Quote).“And we start to hope that if we keep on digging,” Sanso read, “All the way to the core, if we don’t stop, if we perforate the land like a honeycomb, if we make it as flimsy as silk, maybe it will suddenly collapse in on itself. And then, like a tray piled with cups of coffee and cookies that crashes to the floor in a mess of crumbs and glass, it will all mix together.

              The upper part and the lower part will blend. And the rules will change. And we’ll be able to say with a sigh of relief: Here is a piece of sky mixed with a cracked piece of sea; here is Shujaiyeh mixed with Sderot; here is Zeitoun mixed with the Mount of Olives; here is compassion mixed with relief; here is one human being mixed with another. above, and with them build a new land.”

              “Oh my,” said Fanella, “Are you sure we’ve come to the right place?”

              “And an entire people will rise to the surface of the earth,” Sanso continued, “ Pale and faded, blinded by the sun that beats down on the land. And we will stand in silence, waiting for our eyes to adjust to the light. And as we stand there in silence, the fear and anxiety will gradually creep into our heart, that while we were finding refuge in subterranean Gaza, the land above took its own life, was left behind and emptied out.”

              “Gorden Bennet,” said Lisa.

              #3338

              Jack and Lisa sat in dark silence at the kitchen table drinking their coffee, Lisa struggling to recall the dream that had seemed so important, so joyful. Was it something to do with Fanella? But what? Well, maybe there would be some synchronicity later that would remind her, jog her memory.
              “I think I might go for a jog down by the river” said Jack.
              “Suit yourself” replied Lisa waspishly. “How is Igor doing, by the way?” she added, reminded of the poor fellows bee stings.
              “Oh he’s fine, but he’s pretending he isn’t. I think he’s enjoying Mirabelle’s nursing actually. The cucumber treatment seems to have worked, anyway.”
              “And what exactly is that girl doing with a cucumber, in Igor’s bed?”
              “Flove knows, but it’s doing the trick.” As Jack started to push his chair back and get up from the table, a gust of displaced air hit the table with such force it knocked the coffee cups over, and cigarette butts in the ashtray flew across the room.
              “You clumsy oaf, Jack! Steady on!”
              “It wasn’t me! Look!” he exclaimed, pointing up at the ceiling.
              Fanella! What on earth are you doing up there, hanging from that beam!” cried Lisa in astonishment. “And where did you get that unusual map print scarf?”

              #129

              In reply to: Tales of Tw’Elves

              TracyTracy
              Participant

                Through her tears Sue Flay caught a glimpse of the sun flashing on the shiny foil purple party hooter lying at her feet. Curiosity halted the sobs that were vibrating the wooden decking under the cafe terraces, much to the relief of several dozen Italian tourists, who were busily mopping up the coffee that had sloshed over their cups and onto their buns.

                Who sent me this purple party hooter? Sue asked, blowing her nose on Fray Mentos’ white loincloth, providing the Italian tourists with an eyeful of Fray’s crown jewels which were momentarily exposed to the salty marina air.

                #2844

                In reply to: Tales of Tw’Elves

                TracyTracy
                Participant

                  Well trained by the dictates of his religion, Luigi was unaccustomed to listening to his intuition (it was the work of the devil and the weakness of his sinful self, he believed), but as he mopped up the spilled coffee, he had an impulse so strong that he was unable to control it, and picked the book up and stuffed it into the inside pocket of his jacket. He checked his watch ~ what! it was 7:57 already! Where had the time gone? Five minutes later he emerged into the rosy glow of the early morning sunshine, making his way accross the square to the cafe where he customarily had coffee after his night shift at the Library. The occupants of the tents in the square were rustling about inside the tents, some of the early risers were sitting on folding chairs brewing up coffee on primus camping stoves. As Petronella poked her tousled head out of her tent, dreams of banana puddings in polystyrene cups still in her head, an old man shuffled past. A flock of pigeons swooped down at that moment, causing the old man to lurch. A book slid to the ground from under his jacket but he didn’t notice as he carried on accross the square. Petronella picked the book up, and retreated back into her tent.

                  #2841

                  In reply to: Tales of Tw’Elves

                  TracyTracy
                  Participant

                    There was something afoot in amongst the silent racks of books, something Luigi couldn’t quite put his finger on. Frowning, he peered at the monitor screens ~ had he imagined that flash of light that caught his eye? And the occasional snatches of babbling conversations, had he imagined those too? He shook his head and shambled off to the coffee machine, checking his watch. 4:44, only a little over three hours to go. As he reached for a polystyrene cup, something brushed past him, making what little hair he had left stand on end. He swung round, knocking the pile of cups onto the floor, but there was nothing to be seen. He bent down to pick them up, momentarily forgetting his creaky arthritic joints, and heard a dull thud followed by muffled giggles. Luigi froze, and then slowly turned in the direction of the sounds. A book was lying open on the floor in aisle 57.

                    #2739

                    In reply to: Strings of Nines

                    ÉricÉric
                    Keymaster

                      Arona was starting to get cold in the pinkini. She wondered how the lady with the green hair managed to keep warm with so little (not to say as much as nothing) on her skin.
                      She probably had some fuel more lasting than just Nhum.
                      Upon seeing that (not the nakie lady, Flove forbid, but the freezing Arona and the night falling down), chivalrous Vinny and Bucky went to gather some bones and fire to spend the night around a nice bonefire. Just what she needed for a keetle of hot tea.

                      Note from the observing Sue Maffey, who started quickly to get high and delirious on Nhum tea in chippendale cups and mumbled to herself and patient Minky-in-crutches in between a few hiccups: “you knew that a bonfire is actually a fire made of bones, originally said of fires in which the bones of slaughtered animals were burned, allegedly a Gaengelic tradition of the slaughter season in autumn (Samhain, which was soon to come).”
                      She almost gasped wondering where their camelephants had suddenly gone and why that purple reckless dragon suddenly looked satiated.

                      By now, almost everyone else who was there, including (but not only) Mandrake, Yickesy, Winky-nakie-greenie-Messmeerah-with-her-carved-jamón and Mrs Janet had thought the same at least once. That and wondering whether they’d ever get to see that famed Jiborium.
                      So much for cheap package tours.

                      #2725

                      In reply to: Strings of Nines

                      F LoveF Love
                      Participant

                        It was a great relief for Arona to realise the hot pink bikini was just another figment of her slightly muddled brain. Shaking her head she desperately tried to work out what was happening, and who all these strangers were. Would there be enough tea cups to go around? she worried.

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