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  • #919

    It only took a few seconds for Armelle to deflate though she donned off with a hint of reluctance the delightfully filling feeling of power she had acquired notwithstanding the slight overweight (a few grams at best, given her immaterial nature of pristine white hallowy owly essence, but you could not reasonably expect to be really ascended with even no more than a few grams of physicality left, could you?)…

    So, it only took a few seconds, which in essence’s inner time was tantamount to a mere eon (a merry myriad of seconds).

    But then, all was so clear.
    She was seeing the trail that was left unwatched by the spiders, and that her friends would take to the wort-hole.

    Claude, my dear, would you be so kind as to oblige me for a few minutes? she regally asked her host of the branches, taking great care not to be too self-conscious, which would irremediably make her roll her eyes and lose all composure.
    Well… err… I s’pose yes…
    Indeed. Then, take good care of the wort-hole, and wait for us to come back, and then lead us back to the place from whence you came.
    Wouldn’t do that, if I were you… It’s full of magpies there…
    Oh bugger now. Armelle sighed so profusely that it made the hair raise on Claude’s head. The Snoot told me the way would be clear, so… have a little faith in me she said in a cocker’s voice.

    And there, in a majestic elan, she went back to the spot where her friends were now gently getting together.

    :fleuron:

    When she arrived, Akayli the were-lynx had just been deposing his precious package of the two silk-wrapped parents at the feet of little Anita. The first minutes of doubt passed, her hesitant face started to show a smile, knowing that her parents would be fine.

    Yuki was for himself all very impressed by the transformergence of his friends, and was finding that a very good idea to get more focused.
    However, he could hear the yet unvoiced protests of Armelle at his yet unphrased suggestion of a mergence
    Now way I get my white feathers mixed in that bloody smelly goat’s fur!
    And of course, he could hear too the yet unvoiced slew of outraged protests
    Smelly goat? Who you bloddy call a smelly goat, you persnickity saucer-eyed shuttlecock?

    Yet… Yuki, gazing for a few seconds of essence in the stream of possibilities, weighted again the enticing result that a mergence of the three of them would produce…
    Which would be… a… grabbiffon.
    A magnificent winged horned cotton-tailed… sort of… gryffun… or grumpfoon.
    Well… perhaps Armelle was right in the not-yet-voiced first place.

    That would just be plain ridiculous.

    So… what are we waiting for?! Let’s do it now!! all three of them laughed in unison :D =)) :creating_magic: :buffoon:

    #918

    When Phurt awoke, it was all dark and the soil was sodden and drenched and she was all wet to the tips of her fine black and white hair. Her pairs of eyes blinked as a bright lightening illuminated the whole place.
    It looked like a forest, and though everything was silent now safe the sound of the cyclone, she could tell there was water not very far, and that place had all aspects of a body of land surrounded by waters.
    Jumping on her fine legs, she took a look around, looking for any clue… where she could start to build her new nest. The little ones would be soon requiring her attention, and she would have to secure a perimeter for them and herself. Who knew what unknown danger was looming in this unknown place?
    As if answering her silent question, a thunder rolled into the sky opening it in two in a flash of a thunderbolt, revealing somewhere in the less dense parts of the forest, a protruding tip of what seemed a huge white dome-like structure.
    That would be perfect indeed…

    Coming from it, a shriek suddenly filled her ears, parts of which where so clearly in the ultrasounds part of the spectrum that she could hear it perfectly…

    :fleuron:

    HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-ah!
    Glo was beaming.
    Aye, I think we got them all the nasty buggers!
    Good riddance! Good thing we took off our clothes, with all that nasty pomegranate juice everywhere
    Odd that those magpies gushed all bloody purple blood everywhere
    Odd indeed, now ye mention it, Sha
    What’s that “indeed” business all about now? Speaking like a bloddy ascended being are ye? Sharon said while readjusting her bra.
    Ascended beings my tits, never ‘ere when ye need them… Now, look at all this purple juice stains now, ruined all our beauty treatments…
    So what we gonna do of this UV lamp now? Sharon asked
    Odd lamp… Looks more a skull than a lamp to me, Sha
    Yeah, they got bizarrest tastes ‘ere, with that clever doctor…
    Sure, that one obviously doesn’t know how to put lipstick properly, now you say it…
    UV skull-shaped lamps now… Next thing we know, we got magpies’ Bloody Margies
    Bloody Margies! Ya’re so smart Sha, ahahaha!
    I reckon we better keep it safe… Poor Vessie seems to have much on her plate with that sexy Italian… don’t want to make another bloddy blunder
    Ya’re the brain, I reckon Sha. Let’s find Mavis and have some snacks… That honeystuff in the fridge was sooo addictive

    #908

    They won’t stop those nasty buggers! Tearing apart all our beauty machines! Awww, poor Vessie will be devastated! Gloria said sadly, coming dangerously close to the spot
    Watch’out Glo! Sharon cried as a menacing magpie came cawing at her while the others were ripping the machine apart in gruesome metallic sounds.
    Bugger! Bugger! cried Gloria Won’t bloddy poke me eyes! She started to wave her arms and kick out in erratic movements to brush out the bouncing and flying bird.

    STAY CLEAR! the voice of Sha thundered a few moments after, and before Gloria could notice anything, a big thud with a crunching sound went zooming past her.
    Bloddy brilliant Sha! Gloria said, spreading the fatty fingers of her hands off her face to look at the magpie crunched under a coconut. Not so proud now, bloddy bugger! she sniggered at the bird.

    She almost giggled as she looked up on her friend. In a second, she understood how the coconut had been thrown. Ye’re bloody genius Sha! Wouldn’t have thought of using me bra as a sling! she beamed at her nearly naked friend wearing all but wrinkles and padding.

    Oh the buggers, won’t get away with it! an all bucked up Gloria said, stripping her bra off her opulent breasts.
    Dammit, they got something! T’s‘all shiny like a crystal ball! Must be a U.V. lamp or something
    They won’t get away with it! We’ll knock ‘em out one by one those nasty buggers; any more coconuts by yourself sweetie?
    Got aye few pomegranates here
    Go fer it!

    #2025

    In reply to: Scrying the Word Cloud

    F LoveF Love
    Participant

      elikozoe began magpies :yahoo_shame_on_you:
      seems laughing key :yahoo_laughing:
      finding love happy gabriele :yahoo_worried:
      bloody franiel creating dreams magic :creating_magic:

      #898

      She was feeling blank. It was as if she had no memories of what had happened before. At least she had still the notion that she was a she… wasn’t she? It wasn’t really clear, as she had mixed up feelings. There weren’t any physical sensation in the place she was. Indeed, she was having difficulties finding herself. She began to wonder what was this feeling of her she was aware of. To what was it connected? And thus, she realized she was too focused on the question itself to get any answer.
      The letting go released a dam of sensations and informations. She was overwhelmed by all that she was and all that seemed to be thrust upon her senses. But the resistance was what could create pain, she knew that from another time where she was living the same thing. Resisting the communication was like wanting to resist a herd of fleeing raghlors.
      She was feeling a presence in all this mess, something familiar :-?
      Was that herself looking at herself looking at herself looking at herself looking…
      Her memory of what she was trying to do came as lightning. The sudden realization of her numerous tentatives at this exercise made her cry… would she fail again?
      She had to find these other aspects of her, put them into a common direction… but there were so many of hers! which ones should she call to follow her? Which ones would follow her, if any? She felt sudden despair coming from everywhen. Despairs that she was aware did not belong to her, but they were powerful, almost annihilating her will. Images of massacres of people she knew, of people that her other selves knew, massacre that she had perpetrated herself or that she was perpetrating… any sensation of time could fit.

      :yahoo_at_wits_end: :yahoo_doh: :yahoo_crying: :yahoo_cow: :yahoo_whew: :yahoo_skull:

      Despair was imprisoning her and she knew she already had failed because of that. It was shadowing her motivation, giving her that hollow sense of herself, shielding her from…

      :creating_magic:

      Asiir, is that you? The energy was familiar and the name was a translation in her mind. It was an anchor point in all these mess of hers.
      Asiir, help me!

      The feeling was faint, so far away. But as she was focusing more on it, she noticed her different selves were intrigued and gathering around it. And there they were together. A feeling of ecstasy filled her up… and out of her body herself was huge. The presence was gaining in intensity and it was as if it was her who was allowing Asiir’s energy to be expressed toward herself.

      HAHAHAHAHA a thunderous laugh.
      Startled for a moment she almost lost contact with Asiir. But their bond was stronger this time. She was filled with joy and self-assurance.

      At last, you are beginning to understand, Lola. We can go on and take the next step now.

      She was truly riding her dragon, :face-grin: , it was wondrous.

      Well, technically you are lying on the floor of the marshes of doooom, but…

      All of a sudden, everything was gone, she was back to her body, Asiir looking at her and nudging her left arm with her snout.
      WOW, what a crippled body! How many times did she tried? Would he kill her with that, bloody bastard… a feeling of anger was infuriating her, and filling her body up, heating it up. How could he possibly be so inhuman?

      May I recall you I’m a dead guy? and furthermore, my focus wasn’t human… I just appear human to your eyes because you want me to appear like that. You have no representation of how my species could look like, but I may show you…
      … soon.

      #889

      Wow that had been bizarre! Veranassessee stood at the bathroom basin and splashed icy cold, reviving water on her face. She knew she’d had sex with Agent Gabriele … however the experience had a slightly surreal quality, not unlike a dream, details slipping elusively away from her as she tried to grasp hold of them. She giggled nervously as she dried her face with a towel. Did she really want to remember? She had just passed Agent Gabriele in the corridor and he had winked at her, saying he couldn’t wait to try the ‘reverse cleaning maid ‘ again. A sudden image came to mind and she saw her skin darken in the mirror as a hot wave of embarrassment flooded her. Good Grief! She thought guiltily of Mahiliki. She hoped the other island had not been too badly affected by cyclone Ycart, so far it seemed Tifikijoo had come off quite lightly.

      Veranassessee had already checked on the guests, Jose Maria and Paquita were still in their room, Mavis was huddled under her bedding and informed her in a muffled voice that Sha and Glor had gone looking for her.

      :fleuron:

      Well she’s not in her bloody room so where is she eh? Gloria and Sha were on the warpath, determined to get some answers from Veranassessee.

      ‘Ere, Sha! Bloody hell! Glor shook her head in disbelief.

      What’s up Glor?

      Bloody magpies … there are bloody magpies in ‘ere!

      What! Nasty little buggers those magpies. Poke yer bloody eyes out if yer aint careful.

      ‘Ere what they up to eh? Bloody hopping all over that whats-a-ma-callit-doo-dacky machine.

      They’ll be going for the shiny bits I reckon. They do that those magpies. ‘Ere we’d better stop them, might never get our bloody beauty treatments if they bugger that machine up.

      #883
      TracyTracy
      Participant

        Becky arrived at the cafe twenty minutes late, looking breathless and disheveled. Scanning the room with a wild eye, she spotted Tina engrossed in a magazine in a booth in the far corner. Flopping down on the leatherette seat, Becky ran her hands through her hair and said Holy Moly, Tina, I don’t know whether I’m coming or going.

        BREATHE, replied Tina, in a deeply resonant voice, a trifly mischeivously, Becky thought. Breathe into YOU…..

        Oh bugger off Tina, Becky said affectionately. Thanks for coming at such short notice.

        Well, out with it then, Becks, what’s the panic this time? What fine pickle have you got yourself into now?

        Becky glanced surreptiously over her shoulder, and then leaning over the table whispered to Tina, Promise you won’t tell anyone? Not even Sam and Al?

        Tina frowned. Not even Sam and Al?

        Seeing Becky’s crumpled face, Tina quickly agreed, saying, Oh alright then, but what’s the big secret? Not that there ARE any secrets….

        Yes there bloody well ARE secrets Tina, and this is one of them! Promise not to tell ANYONE!

        Alright, alright! Calm down and spit it out, for Gawds sake! Tina said.

        Remember when I was in the park? In that tarty nun outfit? Becky continued, in a loud whisper.

        How could I forget?

        Well, something happened! In the bushes, with this guy, a guy from the future, a time traveller.

        Tina raised one eyebrow in disbelief.

        It’s no good looking at me like that Tina, I’m telling you it happened. And what’s more, I’m pregnant, and he’s the father.

        Tina’s mouth fell open in surprise, and then she said, You TART! You haven’t been married a week! You haven’t even been on your blimmen honeymoon yet!

        Well, actually, replied Becky huffily, Don’t you think it’s kind of cool?

        What happened then, Becky, do tell! Tina was intrigued.

        And Becky proceeded to tell Tina all about it, first entreating her again not to tell anyone.

        #876

        Oh what absoloote rubbish, giggled Elizabeth Tattler, taking another large sloorp from her 4th glass of red wine and putting large determined scribbles through the last chapter of the latest Noovel. It was the continuing saga of the Tifijikoo Island story. She really had to finish it, old whats-his-face was on the telepooh to her daily now, demanding to know when it was to be finished.

        More Sex! he had shouted at her last time. More sex, we want the bloody thing to sell don’t we!

        Well I have shut you up haven’t I, she snorted to herself, thinking happily of Dr Bronkelhampton passed out on the couch wearing a pink dress and mascara running down his face.

        More sex eh? Hooommmm, Elizabeth did not particularly believe in putting extraneous sex in her noovels. At the same time that character Veranassessee was annoying her a bit with all her indecisiveness. And what a bloody mouthful that name was. Was it too late to change it? hooommm probably. She had modelled her roughly on the cleaner, Finnley, quite an attractive girl despite her pooty face and superior, bossy ways.

        She vaguely remembered something a tutor at writing school had said to her once about writing sex scenes … what was his name? Emonel … no that was not quite right … Meenol! That was it!

        Make your writing detailed, with accurate depiction of suction noises

        Elizabeth broke into fits of laughter, slamming her fist on the desk gleefully and startling Robert X. (Unfortunately the fainting Mongoats had been banned from the building by that nasty Mr Arak)

        You know Robbie-pooh what is wrong with this?

        Robbie-Pooh, Robbie-Pooh, cackled Robert X.

        IT’S BOORING, The damn characters never do anything. Right well, time to fix that. She took another few slugs of her wine.

        :fleuron:

        Oh God, said Agent Gabriele. Who gives a shit about the Doctor or bloody magpies. I can’t stand this any longer. I must have you Agent V. He lunged towards her, ripping open her robe and exposing her naked body.

        You are so beautiful. All I ever wanted is you. That’s why I demanded this assignment on the Island … to see you again. I have not been able to get you out of my head. You’ve been driving me crazy

        NO NO, cried Veranassessee weakly, but her body said YES YES

        YES!

        Agent Gabriele kissed her on the mouth, making strange and passionate slurping noises, and, unable to resist any longer, she gave in to his need for her.

        ( Yes, Yes, YES! snorted Elizabeth, momentarily unable to write for laughing. Hooommm what about that Mahiliki? He was pathootic. Did he want the girl or not for God’s sake? )

        :fleuron:

        Mahiliki stared anxiously out at the storm. He could think of nothing but his darling Veranassessee. He must know if she was alright. He must go to her. He grabbed his car keys and drove like a madman to the airport.

        ( Hoommm, thought Elizabeth, I really don’t know anything about small island airports and planes. Well booger that, I will research them later on the internoot )

        You must fly me to Tifijikoo Island! demanded Mahiliki, holding the pilot (who had been sitting out the storm in a little airport building thingy ) at knifepoint.

        Are you mad? said the pilot. There’s a freakin cyclone, or hadn’t you noticed?

        Yes, I am mad, I am mad with love. Fly me there or you are a dead man.

        :fleuron:

        ahahahaahah, laughed Elizabeth happily.

        #873

        A few moments later she was not so sure.

        What’s the matter?

        Oh you know … I am a bit distracted …too much going on I guess. She did not want to tell him that she could feel the presence of Mahiliki strongly in the room, his sweet trusting face gazing reproachfully at her. He would be worried about her, worried about the storm. She wondered how he was getting on.

        I understand, he smiled ruefully, it’s hardly perfect timing is it? Anyway that wasn’t the reason I asked you to meet me here, but I guess it just seemed like too good an opportunity to miss.

        I am sorry, she said, rolling her eyes.

        Maybe some other time. He handed her a robe.

        Sure. She wrapped it tightly around her. Anyway, the Doctor?

        All taken care of. I left Nurse Bellamy administering warm coconut milk, unbeknowst to her laced with a sedative. The Doctor will be peacefully sleeping for at least 24 hours.

        And Jarvis?

        Jarvis is an opportunist, but not dangerous. He was employed by the Doctor as a bodyguard, but has since changed sides. He is now working as a spy for the Magpies.

        The Magpies?

        Your hunch was right. The Magpies are operating on the Island, and they plan to strike soon.

        :fleuron:

        Sha was gazing dejectedly at herself in the mirror. Glor what d’ya reckon. Are all these bloody beauty treatments working or wot?

        Course they are!

        They looked at each other. Well, maybe it’s a bit soon to tell eh? she said doubtfully.

        Mavis! Sha shook the lump covered completely by blankets huddled on the bed. Come on Lovey, the storm won’t urt you. What d’ya reckon Mavis, ‘ow do we look?

        A dishevelled head popped out. You both don’t look no bloody different to me, ‘cept you’ve put weight on, she said honestly.

        Well that bloody does it, said Glor, We’d better find that Vessie, find out wots wot!

        #848

        This is a bloody odd place is you ask me, said Gloria. The weathers nice and all, but it’s all very ODD.

        Yeah I know what you mean, replied Sharon. Some odd goings on around here, I can’t keep track of it all. My head just gets fuzzier and fuzzier.

        ODD, now there’s an odd word if ever there was one. ODD, she said, savouring the sound of it. ODD. Odd…. ODD….

        The more you think about it the odder it gets, agreed Gloria. She picked up a twig that was lying next to her beach towel, and wrote ODD in the sand. It’s like a tart and two half tarts, she said.

        Sharon propped herself up on her elbows and peered at her freind. What? What tarts? Don’t tell me we’ve got competition arriving on the island.

        Not that kind of tart, Sha, pie tarts. Look, look ‘ere at this word ODD. It’s like a pie and two half pies. If the pies weren’t halved it would be OO.

        You soft ‘narna, Glor, Sharon giggled. What are you on?

        #845

        She put down the plate of honeycomb and turned round slowly, her calm exterior belying the fear which had suddenly gripped her insides.

        He had called her Agent V!

        She had to stay calm, think quickly.

        And why is that, Jarvis?

        Jarvis, what did she know about him? He had been employed by Dr Bronkelhampton, although Veranassessee had resisted the idea vigorously. The fewer people on the island the better as far as she was concerned. But the doctor had insisted he needed someone to tend the gardens, and in the end she had decided it wasn’t worth making an issue of.

        I think I might be able to answer that question. Agent Gabriele entered the kitchen. His sudden presence had almost as disconcerting effect on Veranassessee as the revelation that Jarvis knew her identity.

        A little sideline of our beloved Doctor is to experiment with honeybee mutations. Isn’t that right, Jarvis? And in the process he has discovered a way to alter the chemical composition of the honeycomb. It looks and tastes like honey, but too much of it is deadly.

        Veranassessee turned to Jarvis. You knew this Jarvis …. but then why leave it in the fridge … and why warn me?

        Wasn’t me left it in the fridge. I saw it there earlier. I figured the Doctor left it there. Buggered if I know why. He’s an odd one that one. Getting odder by the minute too.

        A loud clattering outside and they all turned.

        Winds getting up quickly, said Agent Gabriele in clipped tones. Secure the hives Jarvis. God knows we don’t need mutated bees on the loose. V tell the guests to stay in their rooms and away from the windows, and then meet me in my room. I’ll deal with the Doctor.

        :fleuron:

        Bloody windy here aint it. Thought I was coming to a bloody tropical paradise! Mavis was looking outside anxiously.

        Oh this aint typical. The weathers been grand. We’ve been out bloody sun baking most days.

        Oh we have! The sun and airs got special beauty qualities here. That Vessie told us that. Encourages us to get out and about.

        Ere I know what will cheer you up. Lets get a snack from the kitchen. There’s some special ureu beauty biscuits in the pantry, and the chocolate brownies are bloody delicious. Who’d have thought chocolate had special beauty qualities eh. She’s a genius that Vassie. Oh I tell you what, I found some lovely honeycomb in the fridge this morning! Sharon licked her lips in anticipation.

        Oh I’m bloody drooling here, Sha! You’re a bloody genius you are

        #816

        “Phew…” said the plump lady to her trip companions “it really felt like this trip would never end…”

        Paquita rolled her eyes to the sky, sweating as her and Joselito were moving the heavy luggage of the lady out of the hydroplane’s trunk.
        Apparently, the welcoming committee either had not been aware of their landing, or simply had forgotten them. Nobody was there to greet them past the wooden pontoon, only the thuds of coconuts falling on the white beach.
        One of them rolled towards Paqui, bouncing on the little waves of sand.
        She leaned forward to get the hairy fruit, brushing the sand off it with her hands until she spotted something that instantly congealed the blood in her veins.

        She shrieked at the sight of a blue spider under the coconut.

        “Well, she seems dead enough” shrugged Mavis at the sight of the splattered arachnid. “Now, what do we do… I think I have a bathsuit somewhere in that piece of luggage” she said, designing a mammothesque thing that bore more resemblance to a military trunk than to any piece of luggage.

        “Did the pilot leave us there?” asked a pale Paqui to her cousin.
        “As soon as we got the last piece of luggage out of his plane… Guy didn’t seem to want to stay here”
        “I wonder why… It’s such a gorgeous place…” Mavis was saying distractedly while plunging into her trunk occasionally drawing some outrageously gaudy piece of cloth that seemed like out of a theater’s props. “Here it is!” she finally said, holding a glittering hot pink latex bikini, so tiny it wasn’t leaving much to imagination.

        Paqui and Joselito sighed of relief when the lean figure of a black haired smart woman appeared waving at them from the path leading to the island’s center.

        #802

        Bea stretched and yawned, and threw the bedcovers back. The early morning sun was streaming in the windows, catching the coloured glass bottles and crystals on the windowsill and making rainbow mice scamper over the floor. Horus, the Siamese cat, crouched with tail swishing, ready to pounce.

        Bea sat up and swung her legs out of bed, feeling around with her feet for her slippers; a rainbow mouse crawled up her leg.

        “Ouch! For fuck’s sake, Horus!”

        Horus stared at Bea, unperturbed, and then yowled, asking for breakfast.

        “Come on then Horus, let’s go and put the coffee on, are you hungry? Lovely day again! I wonder if Leonora’s up yet; doubt it! Come on then, hut hut!”

        Bea wasn’t sure why she always said ‘Hut Hut’ to the cat, but Horus seemed to know what she meant, and followed her into the kitchen.

        “Oh, it’s Eggleton painting day today, Horus!” Bea said to the cat, noticing the big basket of eggs on the kitchen table, For the Eggleton Hunt on Thursday.

        Horus yowled and twisted himself through Bea’s legs.

        “Ok Ok!” she replied, and opened a can of BocaBits with Atun. For herself, she made a large mug of black coffee with plenty of sugar, and lit a cigarette.

        With the third lungful of smoke, Bea recalled a strange snatch of dream, and started to sing:

        One man went to mow , went to mow a meadow,
        One man two man and his dog
        Went to mow a meadow……

        “Oh!” Bea said “I wrote something down in the night!” She went to the bedroom to get her dream journal.

        “One man went to mow scattered lettuces.”

        One man went to mow scattered lettuces? HUH? That doesn’t make any sense. I wonder if Leo can work it out, she’s good with clues…

        Leo! LEO! OY, Leo, whaddya make of this here dream snap-phrase then?” Bea barged into Leo’s bedroom and prodded the sleeping bulk.

        “Wha wha whazzat!” Leo woke up with a start. “Bloody ‘ell, Bea! You woke me up! I was having a lovely dream about rabbits, an’ all……”

        One man went to mow scattered lettuces; what do you make of that? “ Bea asked, as she plonked herself down on Leo’s bed with a bounce that made the bed springs squeak.

        Leo frowned, instantly awake now and intrigued with the clue. To Bea she said, “Get me a cup of coffee and a fag, and I’ll google it.”

        :fleuron2:

        Horus, having disinterestedly licked some of the juice off his Bocabits, jumped onto Leo’s lap as she typed the word lettuce into the search window. He jumped onto the desk, knocking a well worn paperback copy of Seth Speaks onto the floor, and on impulse, Leo added the words ‘Horus’ and ‘Seth’.

        Bea, Leo was laughing, Come and look at this .

        #792

        Elizabeth Tattler gazed at herself in the mirroor and sighed. Of course she was still stunningly bootiful, but since dear Eddie Foosher, her fourth husband, had decided to descend, she had lost the will to really care for herself. Day in and day out she had been focused on her writing, at first to ease the pain and loneliness, however increasingly she was finding real joy in her work. She looked lovingly towards the stoove where she was hardbooling a couple of mongoat oogs in preparation for some more Oogleton exploits.

        She turned back to the mirroor. I really do have glorioos eyes she reflected, even if still a tad bloodshot. She remembered the one occasion she had met the philosopher Lemone, many years ago now. What was that little loomerick he had written for her?

        Slowly it came back to her.

        There was a Young Lady whose eyes,
        Were unique as to coloor and size;
        When she opened them wide,
        Poople all turned aside,
        And started away in surprise.

        She smiled at the memory, how she would love to meet Lemone again! She remembered fondly how his air of kindly wisdom had far outshone his rather odd appearance and garish taste in cloothing.

        #768

        Bea! Come and look at this! Blimey O’RILEY, I ‘ave NEVER seen anything like this is me life!

        What’s up, Leo? Bea rushed over, rather unsteadily, slopping some gin down her clothes from the ever present glass clutched in her hand. Bloody ‘ell, Leo, what’re you doing looking at them crystal skulls again?

        It’s not the bloody skulls Bea, it’s all these rhino beetles ! There’s a blimmen HERD of them in this trunk! All over the skulls!

        Yeuch! exclaimed Beatrice, who was not particularly fond of insects. Better get the fly spray, hang on, I’ll fetch it.

        YOU CAN’T DO THAT! shreiked Leo. They’re symbolic!

        Symbolic of bloody WHAT?

        Well, I ‘int worked it out yet, ‘ave I? But you mark my words, they’re symbolic!

        Bea rolled her eyes, remembering the ‘symbolic ants’ she’d been obliged to endure all over the kitchen. Leo was losing touch with reality, Bea reckoned.

        Symbolic they may very well be, however, I am NOT having them in my bed, she said firmly. What are we going to do?

        Google it? suggested Leonora.

        Good idea. I’ll google it; now you make sure those bloody things stay in the trunk, eh. If any of them escape and head for the beds, call me!

        #755

        — “Sha! I think I’ve had one of them bloody brainwaves of mine!”

        — “You are the smart one Glor … ‘ang on, I’ll just light my fag then I can listen proper.”

        — “Well you know how Vessie has been so good to us and I still feel a bit awful about breaking that bloody door down.”

        — “We meant well though Glor. Our hearts were in the right places.”

        — “They were Sha … but then her bloke being there and all …. well that dress she was wearing Sha, it barely covered her privates.”

        — “She’s a native girl though Glor,” Sharon giggled, “She’d have grown up wearing them little grass skirts and not much else I reckon …. mind she’s ever so nice though ain’t she.”

        — “Oh she is …. and there’s nowhere to buy clothes on this bloody island neither, she must have to make do, bless ‘er little ‘eart.”

        — “It could do with a mall I reckon Glor,” said Sharon reflectively, “this place would really take off if there was a small mall.”

        — “I think you’re onto something there Sha, oh that would be bloody marvellous I reckon, a small mall.”

        — “Anyway what’s your brainwave then Sha? I’m all agog with curiousness.”

        — “Well I reckon with all the eating and lying around we’ve been doing I’ve gained a bit…. what do you reckon Sha?”

        — “You might have done a bit Glor,” said Sharon eyeing her friend thoughtfully, “you can carry a bit extra though, and it goes to all the right places on you, you look right sexy, I reckon our Harry would think so anyway”

        — “Oh give over Sha! “ Gloria blushed and giggled. “Anyway back to my brainwave … well that Vessie is quite slim … “

        — “A bit on the skinny side really, Glor, needs a bit of meat on them bones of ‘ers to be what you would call proper sexy like us, and very tall with it ain’t she.”

        — “Yes athletical, most of them island girls are I reckon. Anyway, listen up Sha, a few of my things ain’t been fitting so well and …and ‘ere’s my master plan Sha …Da da ….” she paused dramatically, “I thought I could hunt out something nice for Vessie!”

        — “Oh that’s bloody genius Glor! you’ve got a real kind heart you ‘ave! You’re a bloody saint even … did you ‘ave something special in mind?”

        — “Did I what Sha!” Gloria’s eyes were shining with delight at her own generosity. “You remember that pink frock, the one I wore when you and Harry got ‘itched, with the wee roses on it. Well I bought it with me! I thought you daft fool! when I packed it, what you taking that bloody thing for? … I reckon it was my psychic abilities I got ‘anded down from my Aunty Philly, God rest her soul, made me bring it.”

        — “Oh you’ve still got that frock! That were bloody gorgeous …. well bless your bloody heart Glor!”

        — “Well its got sentimentical value of course,” said Glor looking serious. Her voice lowered, “ Between you and me though Sha, I do feel for that poor girl. I mean she’s pretty enough .. but she’s got no bloody idea how to make the best of what she’s got. It’d be a bit on the short side mind …. but I don’t think she’d mind that, not if that last dress is anything to go by, and I’m right handy with the needle and thread if it needs any fixing” she paused for a moment thinking, “Sha! I think I’ve ‘ad another bloody brainwave! We could give her a full beauty makeover, the bloody works, with all our beauty know-how … that lippy she was wearing ..” her voice trailed off and she shook her head sadly.

        — “Wrong shade of red weren’t it,” Sharon nodded understandingly. “She’s going to have to make a bit more effort if she’s to keep that bloke of hers.”

        — “Well I’ll ‘ave him any day,” giggled Gloria

        — “Oh you’re bloody wicked, you are Glor! If your Joe could ‘ear you now! …. ‘ere you’ll ‘ave to fight me for ‘im though! … ere,” she said looking around and lowering her voice conspiratorily, “maybe we could have one of them threesomes!”

        — “Oh stop Sha, you’re too bloody much you are!” spluttered Gloria, barely able to control her mirth. “Serious now though Sha, that Vessie might be a bit overcome and shy like, with all our generousness and kindheartedness, we have to make sure she knows we ain’t taking NO for a bloody answer!”

        #1901
        TracyTracy
        Participant

          I read about George the parrot in the newspaper today:

          “…whenever George dozes off, he loses his balance and falls off his perch, squawking “Bloody Hell!” in surprise.”

          #751

          Why you supercilious little prout! said the Mummy

          Steady on Sasha, I don’t think I deserve that. I am a great believer in personal choice. You chose to be part of my experiments didn’t you? Did anyone force you to come here? His voice started to raise petulently. Are you a victim Sasha? Just because one small thing went wrong, an accident, no more and no less.

          If it wasn’t for these damn bandages I would laugh.

          Dr Bronkelhampton threw his hands in the air in vexation. Try and see the big picture Sasha dear. How many times have I told you now? My God we have been through this over and over again. Are you listening Sasha? All you can think about is yourself and your own petty little life. You are dead, you need to accept this and move on.

          Silence.

          Sasha? … Talk to me Sasha dear one.

          Dr Bronkelhampton? Nurse Bellamy tapped lightly on the office door, and entered cautiously. She could hear Chris talking to himself, again. It was nothing new, he spent hours closeted in his office lately. Though today she started in shocked surprise when she saw him, the yellow wig from the early days of the clinic was perched precariously on top of his bald head, garish make-up roughly applied, yet not hiding the dark blue circles under his blood-shot eyes.

          He glared at her. Can you not see I am with a client, Nurse Bellamy?

          She cast her eyes reflexively around the small office, although she did not need to look. It was bare save for a pot plant and that dreadful mummy propped up in the corner of the room.

          I am worried about you, Chris.

          He slammed his fist on the desk and turned away from her, staring moodily out the window.

          Nurse Bellamy’s face reddened with emotion, she struggled to hold back her tears as all the anxiety of the last week threatened to overwhelm her. She reminded herself of the words of her dear nursing tutor Edwardo Lemenox. Always remember your calling as a nurse. When the road seems difficult, take a deep breath and remind yourself you are perfect.

          She took a deep breath.

          I am sorry, I mean Dr Bronkelhampton … I need to inform you that three new clients are expected tomorrow …. and we have two here waiting for their treatment to start … and I can’t entertain them for much longer, they are getting restless. Veranassessee is up to no good, and, Nurse Bellamy pursed her lips for a moment in annoyance .. and now she has a gentleman friend here.

          Dr Bronkelhampton turned towards her quickly, the wig falling off in the process, She has a gentleman friend? Here on the island? Who?

          Nurse Bellamy’s face reddened even more as she remembered her encounter with the drop-dead gorgeous stranger, the way he had looked into her eyes as he asked where he might find Veranassessee, goodness, she had nearly dropped her coconuts.

          #739

          Vessie Darl, Sha and I are just popping down to the beach for some more of them special beauty sea waters you told us about.

          Great idea, Gloria, responded Veranassessee vaguely. She watched absent-mindedly as Gloria’s generous body, clad only in a skimpy red bikini, disappeared down the corridor. There was something about that shade of red tugging at her memory. Vermillion red …

          Red! PLAN B! Oh my God! how could she have forgotten!

          It was two days since she had called him, that meant he would be here soon, that did not leave her much time to prepare.

          :fleuron:

          Everything has to be perfect. She wears a silk vermillion red camisole, the one he gave her, scarcely covered by lush black velvet and topped with bright red lipstick. She casts her eyes critically around the room. It is nearly three years since she has seen him, she doesn’t want to spoil this moment. The glasses of soft red merlot are ready, a plate of miniature liqueur chocolates on a plate by the bed.

          She shakes out her long dark hair and looks in the mirror. Her chocolate skin glows, her eyes are bright. She will do. She touches the red silk camisole … it is still beyond her comprehension how she can have forgotten.

          When he arrives he is beautiful. Too beautiful. she thinks. It is so easy for him, effortless. He appraises the room and laughs casually, he knows how hard she has tried. Agent V he says, a pleasure to see you again. He kisses her. She remembers everything.

          He takes a sip of the wine. She watches him, unsure of herself. He has a black bag with him.

          He looks at her, sees her looking at the bag, and smiles slowly, I have something to show you, Agent V, he says, and she can sense his pride, the barely suppressed excitement in his voice.

          He opens the bag carefully, pulls out a small white box, handles it lovingly. Two years experimentation in the Russian lab, he says softly, delicate threads of spun blue bonnet spider silk and yet strong enough to hang a bridge on.

          He looks at her. Come here. he says

          She hesitates for just a moment thinking of Mahiliki, and then inwardly shrugs, bugger it, I never really wanted to live on Fukitupi island and have loads of babies anyway. She moves over to him. He takes the transparent silk and slowly starts to wind the delicate thread around her wrists. Try and break it, he whispers in her ear, kisses her neck.

          Then stops.

          My God, what the fuck is that?

          Veranassessee sighs.

          :fleuron:

          No I swear Sha, I am telling you, I saw him go into Vessie’s room.

          Oh my God Glor, he might be a murderer, or a bloody rapist even!

          I tell you though, he were right bloody gorgeous.

          Well never mind that! The door is locked Sha. I think we’d better shout out. Make sure she’s okay.

          Right, good idea. And then if she doesn’t answer we can bash the door in and we can both pounce on him.

          Right, on the count of three Glor, we’‘ll shout out, one… two… THREE!”

          #733
          TracyTracy
          Participant

            When Becky realized what she was wearing, she wished the ground would open up and swallow her. She rummaged in her bag for her phone, and called Al. She would hide behind a bush until he arrived, bringing some clothes with him, she thought.

            The number you have reached is not connected at this time, the automated voice on the other end told her.
            RATS! His phone was switched off.

            Becky tried Tina’s number. Her phone was disconnected too.

            Becky tried Sean’s number. Thank Flink for that! At least it was ringing.

            No answer. It rang and rang, but nobody answered.

            Bloody hell! Sam’s in Australia, he can’t help, what am I going to DO? she wailed.

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